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Ace knew it was coming. He practically always knew it was coming.
It was all very perfect, the whole life he got himself after joining Whitebeard Pirates. He got a quite the supportive and patient father and tons of brothers and sisters that didn’t care for his past. He got an amazing boyfriend that was also way too patient and too supportive and too sweet and Ace sometimes wondered what he did to deserve him. Then he became a commander and it was even better. He was so settled into the new life he kept forgetting that narcolepsy is a disease like any other.
To be honest, he knew he was walking on a thin line since he ran out of meds a week ago. His meds weren’t exactly a perfect solution either but he could get by with them – he was still sleepy all the time and the attacks of sleep occurred sometimes but only when he was relaxed enough, something to do with the high level of endorphins. He sometimes had sleep paralysis but it wasn’t that bad – with a regular schedule, he made waking up and not feeling his muscles into normality, he barely panicked about it anymore, simply waiting it out. Marco was very helpful in that aspect – his body heat and warm breath, his general presence in bed Ace was aware of, it made him calm down, settle.
The first day after he had run out of meds was different and so normal at the same time. He fell asleep for a moment during filling the paperwork but it was a fifteen-minute nap – he wasn’t even sure if it was his narcolepsy acting up or just the pure boredom of writing reports and lists. They still had about two and a half weeks until they docked somewhere relatively civilized and he could get a new dose of his meds.
The next day, he fell asleep in the middle of the deck, standing. It was a short nap and everyone was at lunch in the mess hall but there was still a few guys standing above him, snickering. Marco gave him a fond smile when he told him he was late because he fell asleep. Haruta nudged him with his elbow, telling him not to fall asleep while eating again. Ace couldn’t promise that. He fell asleep on the watch that day, most of his division pissed at him for lazying around.
The third day, it was worse. The lack of sleep he felt for not sleeping at night for the last two days finally found him. His words slurred together and his eyes were closing on him. Around the afternoon, when he was supposed to do the stock check, the wave of tiredness enlarged. He fell asleep at the doors of his room and was absent for around an hour. Marco scolded him after dinner when the news of Ace’s negligence reached him and despite the scowl in his voice, a warm aura enveloped Ace as soon as he heard him and felt his hand on his arm. He fell asleep again. Marco tipped it off as exhaustion, telling him to take a day off - Ace was pretty new in all the duties of a commander. He didn’t have the heart to tell him he’ll always be like this, especially without his meds.
His sleep disorder was a liability. Narcolepsy was weakness nobody was strong enough to fight off.
He tried to sleep more at night. He tried to do what Sabo always told him to do since his narcolepsy hit him.
Ace was a special case, the doctor told him, much too young to develop narcolepsy at the age of ten, at least that's what textbooks said. There were no meds for him on Down Island, not with the size of the villages there. No doctor knew much about narcolepsy expect for that it existed and Ace had it.
Sabo did the first thing he did when he didn’t know something – he read. Ace didn't know where he found the books but he couldn’t be more grateful, really. Sabo knew all the stuff – he knew why Ace couldn’t move after waking up or why his sleep attacks were more frequent or why Ace was so damn tired all the time. He knew Ace needed a steady sleep cycle and that Ace should avoid coffee, tea, and alcohol.
They had a habit. The first time, they were at the campfire in the jungle and Sabo heard how he trashed around, not being able to sleep. Heard his groaning, changing sleep positions and the way he picked on any kinds of fabrics. Not being able to go to sleep when so tired was frustrating.
He told Ace to calm down and lie down.
“Close your eyes,” he told him. “Let’s do the countdown.”
The countdown was not a countdown. It wasn’t some stupid sheep counting or any other bullshit like that. He was supposed to count his most important people. Sabo, Luffy, mom, Garp, Dadan, Makino. Then he was supposed to recall one of the happy memories from last week. Luffy’s smile when he finally killed that tiger all alone. And then he was supposed to recall all of the important memories, up to the last one he remembered. His mom’s smile.
Even after Sabo died, Ace still heard his voice whenever he started to do the countdown or felt tired or sleepy.
“Close your eyes and do the countdown.”
He stopped doing the countdown ages ago when he stocked on his meds, still in the Paradise and still as a captain of Spade Pirates. It was time to get back to it.
It didn’t help. The list of important people was so long it felt like sheep counting. Luffy, Sabo, Dadan, Garp, Makino, Pops, Marco, Deuce, Haruta, Thatch, Izou, Jozu, Fossa, Vista, Curiel… He could tell over a hundred names.
He didn’t sleep at night.
1
The first time it happened, he knew it was coming. He always knew.
It was the overwhelming feeling of sleepness – his eyes were stinging, itchy, closing on themselves, his head hurt, an empty ache in the back of it accompanied by throbbing pain at the sides of his skull, and his hands were shaking. He felt his attention slipping, his eyes narrowing.
He was in the middle of the commanders meeting. Pops was sitting calmly behind Marco, who stood up in front of the table, leading the meeting. Jozu and Thatch were sitting next to Ace and Izou and Fossa in front of him. The room, even though filled to the brim, was almost silent.
Ace knew he should be paying attention – he was already scolded the last two days. And today he sent two of his navigators, Jior and Rylan, for a reconnaissance mission that morning – they thought they noticed an island that was not on the maps they had and were sent to scout the sea. Ace knew they got back with something different and definitely not an island, he wasn’t as sleepy when they were reporting to him two hours ago – they noticed a marine ship tailing them, one led by some freshly made Rear Admiral. The newbies always had far too much ambition for Ace’s liking. Not that he was one to talk.
Marco stood tall not so far from Ace, going on about how they need to have a stock check soon because the bigger island was far away and they couldn’t afford shortage of anything. The words blurred to Ace, even this husky and commanding voice Ace liked so much didn’t help – he couldn’t concentrate, energy leaving him. His eyes were closing and he tried to keep them open by looking at Marco’s tanned skin, at the tattoo and the way his shirt matched his blond hair and blue eyes.
"Close your eyes and do the countdown."
He rested his cheek on his hand and Jozu moved next to him, silenced out, blurry words hitting Ace. He closed his eyes, feeling his own breath evening.
Marco answered something and Ace stopped hearing anything.
“The reason why we must be more careful than usual will be explained by Ace,” he told the whole room. “He sent a recon mission today and has the results of the scouting. Could you, Ace?”
Everyone looked at the spot he was taking, waiting for him to get up and start the report. Nothing happened.
Marco frowned.
“Ace?” he tried again.
Haruta snickered. “He fell asleep again. His eyes are closed.”
“You could let him have at least one good night of sleep, Marco,” Thatcht noticed, a smirk on his face. “I know you have a healing factor but the kid is exhausted.”
“Oh boy,” someone in the back of the room muttered.
Pops snorted behind Marco and Marco ignored Thatch because that was Thatch and he long gave up on changing his attitude and not so funny jokes. Which didn't mean he didn't blush.
“Jozu, can you wake him up?”
Jozu shook his Ace’s arm which was not as soft as Marco would like because Jozu was pretty big in comparison to Ace. Ace didn’t wake up.
They tried again – shaking him, yelling, moving him- nothing worked. Marco let out a long breath, rubbing his forehead.
“I’ll take him to our room,” he decided. “Haruta, go to the Second Division and find someone who can explain the recon mission.”
Marco did take him to their room. It wasn't all that far away but he had to carry Ace there - he didn't wake up and his body was limp. He put his arm under his knees and around his waist and just lifted from his sit. He was sure he won't see the end of snickering for at least a week but there was not much choice. Not that Marco minded, if Ace was this tired then maybe he should take a couple of days off. The problem was, they couldn't really afford that, not with the marine ship tailing them - Ace was one of their top fighters.
Ace didn't wake up the whole way to their room or even when Marco laid him down on their bed, covering him.
He wanted to stay but the meeting was still going. He sighed.
Ace woke up after more than an hour, when Marco came back, took his shirt, his belt, his sandals, and his sash off.
He woke up when Marco was getting ready to go to bed, moving around Ace and enveloping them both with the cover.
He opened his watery eyes, looking up, at Marco's face. His body could move again, if not a little stiff.
Marco gave him a small smile even though it was a bit colder than his usual ones.
"You know you shouldn't fall asleep like that, right? Not in the middle of the meeting you're supposed to report in," he told him. It was a quiet whisper rather than a scolding but Ace felt his throat clenching anyway.
"Sorry," he muttered.
Marco watched him for a moment there and then he sighed. It was rather fond. He moved closer to Ace, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on Ace's forehead.
"They will accuse me of playing favorites again tomorrow," he noticed. "With me letting it go so easily."
"Sorry," Ace repeated, his hand reaching to lay on Marco's chest.
"I don't mind," he said. "But get a good night of sleep with me now, okay? Be well-rested tomorrow."
He hugged him and Ace practically melted.
Ace didn't go to sleep. He had just slept for an hour or so and he was tired but the sleep simply didn't come.
He tried to give in. He tried to think about Marco's warm body around him, about his rhythmic breaths, about his smooth skin and about his face nuzzled in Ace's hair. It didn't work.
"Close your eyes and do the countdown," Sabo's voice told him.
So he did that.
Luffy, Sabo, mom, Dadan, Garp, Makino, Pops, Marco, Deuce, Haruta, Thatch, Izou, Fossa, Vista, Curiel, Jozu, Jior, Rylan, Irashi, Sammy, Jenny, Nancy...
He could go on and go on but nothing came.
It was dark outside and went he finally dozed off, Marco's hands on the small of his back, the sun was rising.
Marco woke up, moving and waking up Ace with that.
"Did you have a good night of sleep?" he asked him, a soft smile on his face.
Ace didn't have the heart to answer him anything else but, "With you here? Always."
2
The second time, Ace had to admit, was reckless.
He could've died. Hell, someone else could have died.
The next day, Ace pretended he was well-rested even though he was dead tired. It was a mistake. In the last seventy-two hours, he slept maybe five of them.
Just a couple of minutes before lunch, they were attacked by that marine ship the recon mission found yesterday. It wasn't a big ship but it had quite the amount of cannons and long distance shooters. The Moby Dick was a big ship but it had its limits - a hole after a cannon could sink it.
His division wasn't the first choice when it came to fighting, most of the guys and girls there were navigators. Ace never complained about it - they were decent fighters and even if they weren't, fighting divisions were there to protect them. He was always there to protect them.
He was the first choice when it came to fighting though. Especially with long-distance shooters and cannons - he was fast, agile and a logia. Not to mention he had a striker, really, he could get the rest of the fighters on the marine ship so they could avoid further damage of the Moby Dick.
It was logically they chose him as the part of the counterattack crew. Ace knew that. He also knew he didn't have much time - the tiredness was getting worse, he heard the words slurring around him and his eyes were stinging.
He wanted to sleep.
He couldn't. Not with Haruta, Thatch and Izou with him on the striker and the cannon balls and bullets aiming at them. Ace thanked all the gods for Observation Haki because he could close his eyes and still see and feel everything. It was the only thing that didn't let him sleep - the throbbing presence of adrenalin and haki prodding his head.
He narrowed his eyes, making them stay open and not allowing them to be misty.
Thatch and Haruta went after the Rear Admiral and Ace and Izou were left to fend off the half-assed crew. Izou took down a sharpshooter after sharpshooter, leaving Ace to fight the rest of the subordinates.
Ace made a mistake. He let them surrounded him.
The thing was, he knew the attack was coming mostly because of the sleepiness and the feeling of his muscles giving in to exhaustion. His movements and reflexes were always getting slower before a sleep attack. He noticed less, he moved less and he reacted less. His fire was usually getting ready to sleep as fast as his body - it was a weird feeling, like putting out a campfire. But his fire was less obedient, not as unstoppable as Ace would like and more of a small spark.
They surrounded him, different fighters - shooters, hand-to-hand combatants, swordspeople.
He felt dizzy and his muscles relaxed. The sleep attack was coming.
His fire flickered but none of them moved. There were exactly seventeen of them and he wouldn't be able to fight them off before the sleep attack. If he fell asleep, he knew they would kill him as soon his eyes closed.
He panicked.
Think, think, think, think, think, think.
He did the only thing he could. He closed his eyes, his body giving in and his Conqueror's Haki taking over, praying it would knock them all out.
He fell asleep, falling on the floor in the middle of the bodies.
Izou found him after twenty minutes when the fight ended. Haruta and Thatch joined him so they could get on the striker and Ace could burn the whole marine ship.
They got quite the scare when they found him.
Izou shook his body, trying to wake him up. Haruta checked for injuries - there was none except for a couple of bruises and scratches. Ace wasn't waking up.
Thatch stood there, hovering over the three of them.
"Did he fall asleep?" he asked.
"Don't be ridiculous," Izou scolded him. "You can't fall asleep in the middle of the fight."
Ace woke up after five minutes of prodding and panicking. He wasn't rested but he could function for the next three hours or so.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Haruta asked him when he helped get up.
"I'm fine," he told them. "Don't tell Marco. He'll freak out again. I just need rest."
Thatch crossed his arms.
"I don't like it," he stated. "You should tell him yourself and get checked in the infirmaries."
He wouldn't go to the infirmaries, he knew what the nurses would have told him. He would have scheduled naps and stop drinking alcohol and take antidepressants and basically schedule his whole life. He just needed to wait the two weeks and get his meds and it would be back to normal.
3
The third accident was the most embarrassing one. It happened on the same day.
Ace couldn't go to sleep after getting back to Moby Dick. The navigators messed up the course. He left them alone for an hour and they messed up the course.
They were beating the last couple of days, staying as close-hauled as they could. Someone decided when he wasn't there that the wind was heading (it wasn't) and they bore away not to lose the speed. It was a couple of feet off course now but it would be a couple of miles off the course later, they had the same fixed wind the whole way to the island. They couldn't luff up just like that and Ace had to observe the wind for the next hour before they could do it successfully. He was tired, his head pounding, the space around him wobbling.
He went to their room, ready to fill up the report and just go to sleep.
He met Marco there.
He smiled at him and Ace had to smile back. Even if his body was sleepy, his soul always kind of energized when he saw Marco. It was the aura and warmth he felt from Marco, the way he made his mind blank and relaxed.
Marco closed the doors behind him, his smile becoming sharper. Teasing.
Ace knew where it was going and he had mixed feelings about it. His sleep attack was close, as in less than half an hour close and he was sure he would fall asleep as soon as he lied down in the bed.
He still let Marco kiss him.
Their lips met and Ace could feel Marco's warm hands wandering around his shirt, fingers letting themselves in between Ace's hips and Ace's belt.
Marco lowered his mouth to his and there was fire there, and heat, and they poured into him, seared through him.
Ace lost his mind a bit, gave it up willingly even though the tiredness sank deeper into him. He didn't have to force his eyes to stay open.
Blood pounded in his veins as he rosed up on his tiptoe to meet him more than halfway. Unreserved fire and passion met him, Marco's hand drove into his hair, grabbed it and crushed their mouths.
Marco's blue fire melt against him.
Blindly, Marco turned them to drive his back against the wall next to the bed, Ace's muscles relaxing and his mind getting fuzzy.
Marco leaned back and moved onto his jaw, peppering Ace's face with kisses - on his jawline, on his cheeks, next to his ear. He gave out a moan.
The feeling of warm skin, coziness overwhelmed Ace, Marco's hands on the small of his back made him stop thinking. They took a couple of steps, Ace hadn't even noticed, getting closer to the bed. Their hearts were racing and Ace felt gentle touches of Marco's finger on his spine and next thing he knew, he was lying on the covers, Marco's breath on his cheek.
Marco backed off, hovering over him even though his hands were still firmly placed on Ace's body. Their lips barely touched, not kissing.
"I don't think it's a good time for that," Ace managed to sputter.
His body was enveloped by heat and desire but he felt blackness, dizziness in his head. He knew he was going to fall asleep any moment - his body may have reacted, it was natural, but his mind wasn't as strong.
Marco pushed his hips closer and Ace groaned. He was hard but it still didn't mean he wouldn't fall asleep.
"I think your body doesn't agree," he told him.
Ace put his arms around his neck, feeling how numb they were and knowing it was a matter of minutes.
Words slurred in his mouth and he couldn't say anything except, "Marco."
His eyes closed on itself and he felt his surroundings slipping away. Marco's hands touched his pants and he wanted to move and wake up from the haze but his body didn't allow him.
He fell asleep.
Of course, when he woke up, Marco wasn't there. It hit him more than it should probably because they rarely used the other room - Marco's room became theirs and Ace's was a storage for paper and documents.
Marco was sitting at the desk there, slowly rewriting the statistics. He had his glasses on and his face was lightened up by the side lamp. Ace noticed how his shoulders tensed when he entered the room and how he hesitated a moment before getting back to writing.
"Marco," he called him out.
He didn't move and Ace sighed.
"Don't act like a child," he told him when he didn't say anything. "I'm supposed to be the child in this relationship and you're the cradle-robber."
Marco turned around, giving him a look.
"You're not funny," Marco said. "You falling asleep in the middle of the foreplay is even less funny."
Ace licked his lips, stepping up to him. He closed the door, moving around the mess on the floor. He stopped at the side of the desk but Marco turned his gaze away from him. At least he didn't get back to the paperwork.
Ace sat down on the desktop and leaned closer to him, wrinkling a couple of papers in the action.
"Hey," he began, his hand reaching to caress his cheek.
Marco looked up at him, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Am I really this bad at it? This boring?" Marco asked him.
Ace frowned, not understanding. He moved his hands to cup his cheeks.
"Have you ever enjoyed sex with me for real or was it just putting up with me?"
He didn't see that coming. He assumed he would think he was overtired.
"Fuck- Marco," he spat out. "Just because I fell asleep-"
"You fell asleep at the beginning of sex," he interrupted him, getting ahold of his arms. "If it isn't telling something then I'm what, overreacting? You fell asleep when I was about to take your pants off."
He looked up at him with sparkling blue eyes, his forehead wrinkled and his mouth a thin line.
"I was just tired, Marco," he answered. He let go of his face and brushed a stray of hair out of his forehead. "It won't happen again and it had never happened before."
"You weren't tired," Marco stated. "You slept more than eleven hours yesterday."
Ace licked his lips.
"I didn't sleep," he told him.
"So you either lied back then or you are lying now," Marco noticed.
And Ace had to admit, no matter how many times he told himself it was just not telling the whole truth, it was lying. He knew it wasn't right but he also didn't really like talking about his narcolepsy. It wasn't a big deal, not since he got meds for it. Yes, even with meds he was more tired than an average person and he fell asleep in random places. He didn't want to talk about it, not when it seemed like a small detail that used to be a big story.
But now Ace had to decide, had to acknowledge it was a big detail. For Marco's sake.
"I knew it," Marco spat out, getting up.
Ace put a hand on his shoulder, holding him back and guiding back onto the chair.
"You know I love you, right?" he asked. Marco sent him a look. "Marco."
He leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek, lingering over his warm skin a moment too long.
When he backed off, Marco's eyes softened and his gaze turned to Ace's lips. Marco was more important than Ace's comfort zone.
"I'm out of meds, that's why I'm so tired," he explained, his gaze wandering to the side.
"Meds? You're sick?"
"Not exactly, darling," he said. "It's just narcolepsy."
"Narcolepsy?" Marco exclaimed. "It's not just something, Ace, that's a serious disorder that really affects your daily life."
"My case isn't that bad," Ace soothed. "As long as I take my meds, I'm just tired sometimes and take naps from time to time."
"That's why you fell asleep when we-"
"Yeah," he agreed. "There was nothing wrong, never, really, I just had a sleep attack."
Marco opened his arms, a small, soft smile on his face. Ace gladly moved from the desktop, sitting on his laps and hugging him. Marco's breath mussed his neck and Ace fisted his hands in his shirt.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Marco questioned, his voice quiet.
"It's never come up," he said honestly. "Since I started taking the meds I don't really think about it all that much. I just wanted to live like everyone else."
"Tell me everything."
And Ace did tell him because he trusted him enough. It was almost strange, how easy it was for him to say everything. Almost as if it was a small talk during dinner - maybe he shouldn't have been too afraid.
He told him how he was diagnosed with narcolepsy at the age of ten and how Garp told him his mom had the same disorder, albeit not so deeply occurring. He told him about how his brothers accommodated to his comfort and how Sabo began that habit, that ritual which still had its roots in Ace's mind. He told him about the first time he got his meds when Garp brought him a half-year portion at the age of fifteen. He told him about taking meds in Paradise and finally being able to leave normally.
1
The next day, he had a nap in the middle of the conversation with Marco and Marco took him to bed without a word.
It was very relieving.
In the evening, they approached a tiny little island, uninhabited, with a forest all over it. They docked even though Ace would prefer they didn't - the shore was looking fishy and anyway, he still needed his meds and he wasn't gonna find them in the forest.
They didn't tell anyone except Pops about Ace's narcolepsy. Marco wanted him to consult the nurses but didn't insist when Ace asked him for time.
Marco decided they would stay there for two nights so Ace could rest a bit, get into the sleep cycle again. He didn't word it like that to the rest of the crew but he was the one who had the final choice. It was a good one.
Ace, sitting next to the campfire, huddled up with Marco, fire flickering in front of them. Haruta was snickering with Vista not far from them and Izou and Thatch bickered despite holding hands. Jiru was playing the guitar, Pops sitting not far from him under a couple of blankets and still with his medical equipment.
The night was only beginning, first drinks and snacks showing up, first dances starting.
Marco put a blanket around them, more for the atmosphere rather than for warmth. His arm was around Ace's waist, Ace's head lulled into his chest. The heat of Marco's body and of the fire grazed him and it made him more relaxed than it should. Maybe it was because he was trying to stay awake for the last hour so he could watch the docking, it was just a bit blurry now.
Marco must have noticed it and didn't try talking with him, instead his fingers were making gentle patterns on Ace's skin and nuzzling into his hair.
Ace knew he shouldn't fall asleep, not there, not when everyone could see, not when the party was only beginning. But his eyes were so heavy and his muscles were giving out, practically numb and stiff already.
He tried to adjust himself, move around to wake up a bit. Marco held him in place.
He kissed his forehead.
"Close your eyes, Ace," he ordered him, his voice close, warm and gentle. "And do that countdown of yours."
So Ace closed his eyes and started counting.
Luffy, Sabo, mom, Dadan, Garp, Makino, Pops, Marco, Deuce, Haruta, Thatch, Izou, Fossa, Vista, Curiel, Jozu, Jior, Rylan, Irashi, Sammy, Jenny, Nancy...
He fell asleep with a smile on his face.