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By prophecy, Kylo knows, before he can hope to achieve what he is destined for by the Force, he must first find dawn.
Kylo knows that Hux is dangerous.
He pretends to not be, in that sly weasel way of his, but he is. He has the backing and loyalty of the First Order military in the way that Kylo never did and, frustratingly, still doesn’t, even though formally, he is Supreme Leader. He distinctly gets the feeling that all the officers think of him as they would of an overgrown toddler with an ion cannon – unpredictable, dangerous, but only to be taken seriously to the extent that he can be disarmed and neutralized.
They actually listen to Hux.
This baffles Kylo. Hux has no vision, no real sense of what Power is – the sort that comes with having the Force, the sort that keeps Kylo awake at night sometimes, lying on his back, breathing deeply, feeling like he has a fraction of the entire universe’s weight on his chest. He gets glimpses, at times, of the eternal past, present and future. Not Force visions, per se, but—flashes – more feelings and shivers of things to come, than anything concrete.
Hux can never understand that. He can never know what it means to stand on the bridge, the deck flooded with red and yellow light from a planet’s sun just peeking over its edge, and suddenly be overcome with a feeling he has felt before in meditation. What it is like to feel a sense of destiny, a compelling sense of urgency, without always knowing what it means.
Hux can not understand that.
None of them can. And perhaps that is why it is Hux they listen to – his pronouncements make sense to them. What Hux offers them does not depend on grasping a bit of eternity and trying to hold on to it. Trying to master it and make something of one’s own out of it by sheer will.
Hux is prosaic, banal, vulgar in his simplicity—
*
In the Force, Hux is a million starbursts tightly forced into a single Force signature and cast out into the darkness, floating in between all the paling other blotches of white and silver. He is always just barely in the periphery of Kylo’s Force meditations, following him around, interfering and intruding. Too bright, too forceful to ignore.
*
Hux is dangerous.
Kylo knows that Hux is an ally.
As much as the thought irritates Kylo, it is unmistakable that it is beneficial to have Hux as an ally rather than an enemy. He needs the First Order army – which is far from perfect, but is still the sharpest, most powerful organized military force in the galaxy. He needs to keep Hux close and feeling like he can have something to gain from subordination to Kylo. This is necessary to Kylo’s very survival and objective.
Hux is an ally against the Resistance. Despite himself, Kylo must acknowledge that Hux knows prosaic military strategy well and knows how to channel the Order’s military forces effectively against the Resistance. The more Kylo justifies this as a necessity and not a concession the easier it is for him to appreciate the knife-edge of Hux’s figure and the hardness of his gaze when he is commanding a battle. The easier it is to feel pride that this general is under his command.
Perhaps this is what Snoke had seen in Hux all along. A man who has found a meaning in a life of servitude to a procedure and multidimensional game of chess. As unbecoming as such things seem, they are effective, and Kylo needs efficiency, he needs someone who will give him the time to fully understand what the Force is telling him.
Hux stares him down and straightens his shoulders but he does, ultimately, as Kylo says, in one way or another. There is an order to his world – even when he does not like it – that Kylo never had. The Force does not allow for order as such, only for destiny, though even that is ever-shifting, Kylo needs this too, especially when he starts to drift too much.
He resents that need but he needs it. Snoke is dead, he is in charge, and he must keep his wits about him.
Hux is the reminder of why Kylo must cultivate his power, must reap the insights the Force gives him, to not become something so narrow—
*
Hux is the quiet voice in his head that says “Enough,” in soft, almost gentle, tones when Kylo is too far gone to pull himself back from the abyss. Somehow, he is always there, his gaze like dry ice – so cold it burns. And he says “enough,” without speaking and Kylo listens on instinct, like a child lured to bed when tired, though obstinate.
*
Hux is an ally.
Kylo knows Hux is a witness.
A witness of all the good and all the bad that Kylo has done, though it is doubtful Hux would ever testify to the good, even if he understood it to be good. But he is the one who stands by through the months as Kylo grapples with he Force’s meanings and signs, tries to figure out where to go from here. He knows there is some part of his destiny tied to the scavenger girl, Rey. That he must find a way to unite their powers. This becomes clearer by the passing cycle.
Hux does not understand Kylo’s festering fears on this account. His own ambitions are military and political while Kylo’s are far more far-reaching, claiming the fate of the entire galaxy for perhaps thousands of years to come. But he is the only one who stands by and watches Kylo struggle on this account, without understanding but without asking idiotic questions.
The others do not understand anything and a rumor festers that he is in love with a resistance brat or that he is unable to staunch the guilt of killing his father.
“I know you’re not in love with her,” Hux says one time, almost out of nowhere, not facing Kylo. “That girl who has befriended the traitor.”
“What does this have to do with anything?”
“I think it frustrates you that people think you are in love with her. Because you—she has some meaning to you. To you and that Force of yours.”
Kylo looks over sharply. Hux still has his eyes fixed on the large viewport. They are alone on the command dock.
“I also know you are not so tortured by your father’s death.”
“How would you know that?” Kylo asks, amused.
“Because I am not tortured by that of mine.” Finally, Hux looks over and Kylo wishes that he could understand what lies beneath Hux’s smooth cold eyes and proud, uplifted chin. Digging in Hux’s thoughts would obliterate the thin line of alliance and codependence they have gained—and Hux has learned to not broadcast around him.
“Why are you telling me this, General?” Kylo’s voice is hoarse. He returns to watching the streaks of stars.
Hux takes a moment to think this over. “Because I am the only one here who accepts that your goals are something…cosmic—as pathetic as that sounds, by the way. And you are the only one here who understands that I serve the First Order out of a genuine drive of what we stand for and what we could be. An…idealism, of a sort. Not a simple lust for power. Power is a tool to accomplish what you will, not a state of being. I accomplish my best as the Order’s first general. We have a sort of tentative balance, a common understanding. That is the greatest thing two men could give each other, in the end.”
“How unromantic.”
“Romance is for fools.”
Kylo smirks. “Good night, General.”
And he thinks, as he walks back to his chambers that Hux makes a good, if unwitting, partner in their common goals. Where he had feared a coup, he had found something strange—
*
Hux is the one who listens to his plans when they are complete, bathed in half-shadow, his face unexpressive. He hears the horror of it described, the immeasurable sacrifice and the intricacies of a ritual that to him must sound like insanity. He hears all these words and thoughts and the end result, watches Kylo tremble with the excitement, anticipation and fear of it. For a moment, he feels the unending inevitability of the Force when Kylo grasps his wrist and Hux does not pull away. Kylo closes his eyes and waits for Hux to stop him like before—And, instead, Hux says, calmly, but without a hint of ice, “Alright.”
*
Hux is a witness.
Kylo knows that in that pivotal moment, just before his self-destruction, Hux becomes more than a witness, or a silent companion. Kylo knows Hux is—
*
Hux’s mouth is against his as their chests collide and their limbs intertwine.
His signature blends with Kylo’s as their bodies lose all boundaries of themselves. Kylo sucks in the brightness of Hux’s starburst Force presence and weaves their lives together in a way more intimate than the tangle of their bodies on Hux’s bed.
The bond is tenuous and new, odd for Kylo and disturbing for Hux but it might be the only thing that pulls Kylo through.
It is not the end. It is not even a beginning. Kylo welcomes it as his body and his mind relax into those of another.
And there is nothing like this unity that Kylo has felt before.
So thus, he is ready.
*
Hux is nirvana.
Hux is Kylo’s dawn.