Archive of Our Own ^beta

It starts with Lisa.

Well, technically it starts with Yukina, but Yukina never would’ve known about it if Lisa hadn’t said anything, so, really, it starts with Lisa.

Lisa’s intentions were good, of course. They always are. Lisa is a good person, who wants the best for Yukina. Yukina knows this, even if they can probably both agree she’s no good at showing it.

But when Lisa said, “So, when are you gonna tell Sayo you like her?” and Yukina nearly choked to death on her own saliva, she really had to wonder if Lisa did have her best interests in mind.

“W-what are you talking about, Lisa?” she finally managed, voice tight.

Lisa laughed, as if it was funny, and then leaned forward a bit, her lips still turned up in what Yukina knows isn’t a mocking way, but felt something like it.

“I just—I see the way you look at her sometimes! You should tell her how you feel!”

“I don’t…” Yukina stared at her, aghast. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

Lisa’s smile faltered. “You...don’t?”

Yukina shook her head, chest heavy.

Well, Lisa explained it to her after that, but Yukina knows that the entire situation was incredibly backwards. It’s okay, though, Lisa would assure her, because that’s just how Yukina is—her only love is singing, and cats, though nobody needs to know about that, and Lisa’s cookies, especially on a bad day.

“So,” Lisa summarized, “it makes sense that you wouldn’t realize you felt anything more than, you know...friendliness towards Sayo!”

It did not stop Yukina from going home that day, crawling into bed, and squinting up at the ceiling until her eyes began to ache.

And it did not stop Yukina from being so distracted in their rehearsal the next day that even Rinko said something about it.

All in all, it has really been a terrible week.

And it’s all Lisa’s fault.

Yukina expresses this at Lisa’s house over the weekend, munching morosely on one of the cookies Lisa made for her.

Lisa is sympathetic, at least.

“I know it’s really shocking,” she says, earnest. “And scary, right? But...well, it wouldn’t be like that if—”

“I trust you,” Yukina interrupts. “But I just don’t know how to...how to…”

Lisa waits, arms folded patiently over the table’s surface, but Yukina cannot find the words to continue.

Eventually, Lisa ventures, “How to deal with it?”

“Right.” Yukina takes a thoughtful bite from her cookie. “I— Well, maybe you’re right.” Despite herself, she feels her cheeks warming. She cannot meet Lisa’s eyes anymore. “Sayo is...very…”

...Beautiful. Intelligent. Radiant.

But these are not the words that slip out of her mouth. Instead, she raises her gaze up to the ceiling and says, almost like she is making a guess rather than a statement, “...Talented?”

Lisa says nothing for a moment. Yukina dares not look at her.

And then, “That’s...true. But I don’t really think that’s how you meant to finish that sentence.”

“Lisa.”

“If I’m not right, you can just say so.” Lisa’s tone is one of mild amusement. “You know that, don’t you?”

Of course Yukina knows that. They’re best friends, and have been forever.

But the words stick in her throat, and instead she drops her eyes and reaches for another cookie.

“I think she likes you too,” Lisa offers. “Just ask her to go for coffee or something sometime!”

Yukina must scrunch up her nose at this suggestion, because Lisa laughs.

“You don’t need to drink coffee,” she says. “It’s about the conversation you have when you go! You guys are already friends, right? It won’t be hard to just talk to each other for an hour.”

Yukina reaches for another cookie. Lisa slaps her hand away.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she says.

“Well,” Yukina starts. Stops. “Well, I…” She frowns. “I’m thinking I’d really like another cookie, if you don’t mind.”

Lisa sighs, but moves her hand away from the plate, allowing Yukina to snag another one.

As she chews on it, she mulls over Lisa’s words.

Does she like Sayo? Of course she does. The girl is an incredible guitarist. She’s determined. Her skill is not raw talent, but hard work. Sometimes, during their breaks at rehearsals, Yukina watches Sayo continue to practice. She doesn’t take breaks often, Yukina knows. Because she wants to be the best she can be, and until she is, she won’t rest.

But...there’s no doubt that music is her passion. She doesn’t practice because it is a chore she must check off on some mental list. Indeed, when Yukina watches her play, she notices that she often gets this glint in her eyes that is not otherwise there, one that says she loves music, it speaks to her and she speaks back, and of course Yukina knows that there is no higher love than the love that exists between melodies and their musicians…

Above all, Sayo is...a musician. Yukina can see it in the way her fingers hit her beautiful chords, in the smile that tugs at her lips when she plays something she’s truly happy with—which is rare, in itself, but always worth it to see that smile. And though she would never, ever admit it aloud, Yukina thinks that she would really love to see that smile more often.

“Okay,” she finally says. “Coffee, right? I just have to ask if she wants to go for coffee.”

“You’re going to?” Lisa’s excitement is barely concealed, and though her chest rages with far too many feelings, Yukina can’t help but smile a bit.

“Yeah,” she agrees. “We can talk a bit. You know, I guess… I don’t really know her, outside of Roselia.”

“And you want to?” Lisa presses.

“Would I really be considering this if I didn’t?”

“Touché.” Lisa pauses, and taps a pensive finger against her chin. “But something gives me the feeling that you’re still uncertain.”

Yukina almost laughs.

Uncertain would be, well—a massive understatement. Honestly, she’s not even totally sure if Lisa is right or not yet. She has been thinking rather critically about it for the past five days, but no answer has really come out of it, except that thinking about it is painfully distracting and doesn’t yield any especially good results.

But Yukina thinks she has spent a long time learning how to extend her musical wings since forming Roselia, and maybe...just maybe…

“I think it’s a good idea,” she says carefully. “To—be more personal, if nothing else. I—I do like Sayo, as a friend, so there’s no harm in...exploring a bit, right?”

Lisa’s eyes widen. “Y-Yukina…”

“What?” She crosses her arms over her chest, suddenly quite self-conscious. “Is that bad?”

“No!” Now, Lisa is beaming. “That’s incredible! Here,” she says, pushing the plate in the middle of the table closer to Yukina, “have some more cookies!”

Yukina is not quite sure why Lisa is offering them to her, but she is hardly about to refuse them when only minutes ago the other girl was withholding them from her.

“We’ll have to start planning,” Lisa is saying. “You know, so you guys can go on a date! You have to know what you want to do, and then you have to ask, and then…”

Yukina nods along as Lisa talks, but tries not to think too hard about the words themselves. Instead, she focusses on the cookies Lisa has finally allowed her the full freedom to eat, and lets her mind wander away from whatever Lisa’s grandiose plan is, to how in the world she, Minato Yukina, is going to ask Sayo on a date.

---

It turns out to be far easier said than done.

After their next rehearsal, Yukina approaches Sayo, the words on her tongue, but when Sayo turns around and asks if she needs anything, they fall far into her throat again.

“Ah, n-no, nothing,” she says quickly. “Good job today.”

Sayo furrows her eyebrows at this. “Thank you, Minato-san,” she says. Cautious. “There was one part that I wanted to ask you about, though, if you don’t mind…”

Yukina’s chest swells with something uncomfortable, sort of like disappointment, but she swallows it back again and steps closer to Sayo.

“Of course,” she says curtly. “What is it?”

Sayo pulls out her sheet music and points at a section near the middle.

“Around here, I think it’s too loud,” she says. “Especially the drums. It makes it hard to hear you singing, but I think it’s an important line. It would mean more if it stood out.”

Yukina nods slowly. “I see. You should make a note of that, and then we can discuss it together the next time we rehearse.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?”

Yukina purses her lips. “Well, maybe. I’d rather hear it before we decide, though. It doesn’t...hurt to try new things.”

“I understand. Thank you.”

She turns around before Yukina can even consider saying another word.

“Yukina~!”

Yukina jumps, then spins on her feet to face Lisa.

“Ready to go?” she asks. “I’m sure Marina-san probably wants us out of here!”

Yukina glances back at Sayo, hesitant, but the other girl is busy packing her things away. With a sigh, Yukina looks to Lisa and agrees.

Lisa doesn’t pry about the conversation, but Yukina can tell she’s disheartened when Yukina explains that she didn’t ask Sayo out. Even so, she reminds Yukina that there is always tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and it’ll all work out fine.

Except that tomorrow and the next day and the day after that pass by with no results.

Though Yukina finds herself losing faith that she can do it, Lisa remains nothing if not enthusiastic.

“It’ll work out,” she insists, but Yukina doesn’t have any cookies left to motivate her, and she knows it’ll be a while before Lisa makes more of them.

Eventually, weeks pass, and, before any of them knows it, they are well into December. Ako, who is probably the last person Yukina would’ve expected to be high in Christmas spirit, begins all of their rehearsals with a friendly reminder that Christmas is fast-approaching.

“Christmas is in fifteen days!” she cries, today, as they all set up for their practice.

“Wow!” Lisa says, straightening up a bit. “That’s so soon! We’ll have to get together or something to celebrate, right?”

Nobody says anything for a moment. When Yukina looks at Ako, she sees that the girl’s face has lit up quite excitedly.

“I—I think that’s a really...good idea, Imai-san,” Rinko speaks up. “The...holidays are for...family, right?”

“That’s right!” Lisa agrees as she lifts her bass from its case. “It would be a lot of fun! We could have some treats and exchange gifts!”

Ako and Rinko both nod enthusiastically at this.

“Your holiday plans make no difference to me,” Sayo suddenly says, “but we’re cutting into our rehearsal time, you know.”

The other three silence quickly and fall into their positions. Their rehearsal time passes without other incident, but Yukina has a bad feeling that Lisa and Ako will be plotting something together in short time.

As they wrap up for the day, Yukina notices that Ako is a little faster than usual, and once she has put everything away, she approaches Lisa and says, “Lisa-nee, do you think—?”

But as Yukina watches, Lisa presses a gentle hand against the girl’s mouth and lets out a small laugh.

“That’s okay, Ako! Why don’t you message me later, and we’ll sort out the details?”

Yukina blinks. The details?

But Ako is nodding and agreeing, far more excited about the vague sentiment than Yukina personally feels is sensical. Unless, of course, she knows what Lisa is trying to say…

Yukina narrows her eyes, but neither girl seems to be interested in continuing the conversation. Instead, as they finish putting instruments and equipment away and gather up their personal bags, their conversation drifts towards their plans for Christmas with their families.

“Um, Yukina-san…?”

Yukina starts at Rinko’s voice behind her, but aims to look composed as she faces the keyboardist.

Rinko tilts her head slightly. “Aren’t you...going to pack up?”

“O-oh, right…” She coughs, feeling heat rise on her face. “I was just...distracted, is all.”

Rinko’s eyes drift towards Lisa and Ako, but snap back to Yukina so quickly that Yukina wonders if maybe she only imagined the shift at all. Rinko offers her a weak smile.

“I understand,” she says quietly, eyes falling to her feet. “I—I hope you don’t feel I was rushing you or a-anything like that!”

Yukina looks her over carefully, and then says, “No, it didn’t feel like that. Thank you, Rinko.”

Rinko meets her eyes again and nods, then steps around her to join Ako and Lisa, listening to their cheerful conversation.

Yukina hastens to gather her belongings, and she and Sayo join the other girls as they make their way out of the room. Ako leads the group, a skip in her step, but stops as soon as her foot falls on the pavement outside. Rinko nearly bumps into her, but Lisa puts a steadying hand over the dark-haired girl’s shoulder, causing her to jump and let out a small gasp, which is just enough to make Ako turn around and see the dilemma she has caused behind her.

“Sorry!” She looks over her bandmates with wide eyes. “I was just so shocked, I had to stop! Look, it’s snowing!”

Yukina tilts her head, trying to see past the three girls in front of her, but is unsuccessful. At her arm, she feels a gentle hand calling her attention to it. When she looks over, Sayo steps to the side just a bit, allowing Yukina to take her place. From here, she can see that Ako is right; from the darkening sky, fat, lazy snowflakes drift down, coating the cement before them. It has not yet been trodden on, and Yukina suspects that Ako stopped in order to take in the image of the freshly fallen snow.

But only a few seconds after the thought crosses her mind, Ako lets out a gleeful laugh and runs forward, lifting her hands in the sky to grab for the flakes above her.

“Hey!” Lisa calls out, hurrying after her. “Be careful, Ako! You might slip!”

“Isn’t it so nice, Lisa-nee?” Ako enthuses. “Rin-rin, come on!”

Rinko joins the other two, a little slower, leaving Yukina and Sayo standing together at the door. They watch their bandmates for a moment, and then—

“Do you like winter, Minato-san?”

Yukina blinks, facing Sayo with a frown. “I… No, not especially. I’m not a big fan of the cold.”

“Me either.” She pauses, then crosses her arms over her chest. “They seem to be enjoying it, though.”

Rinko and Lisa laugh together as Ako attempts to catch snowflakes on her tongue.

“Yes… Well, Lisa has always thought winter was pretty, at least.”

“...I see.”

“Sayo,” Yukina says, then stops.

Holds her breath.

Sayo turns to her, one eyebrow raised. “What is it, Minato-san?”

“I…” She bites her tongue, heart beating fast. It makes no sense, she thinks. All the years she has taught herself to force anxiety away on the stage, but she cannot fight it off here, now, with Sayo waiting for her to say something…

But Sayo doesn’t do anything other than wait. If she is impatient, she gives no hints of it.

Yukina lets out her breath slowly, chest aching a bit. “S-since it’s getting colder and all, I think maybe it would be a good idea to get something warm to drink. Together,” she adds, glancing nervously at her bandmate. “Just us.”

“Just us,” Sayo echoes.

Yukina swallows, looking away from her again. “Y-yes. Just us.”

Sayo says nothing.

Suddenly, Yukina feels quite sick.

Why did she let Lisa talk her into this? Even if she thinks Sayo is beautiful and graceful and kind, it is no excuse to cause awkwardness between them. Roselia is more important, after all, to both of them, so there is no way Sayo would ever—

“Okay,” Sayo says.

Yukina’s heart nearly stops.

“Okay?”

“Are you surprised?” When Yukina finally looks at her again, she sees that Sayo’s lips have pulled up into a small smile. “I value your companionship, Minato-san. I believe we’ve both learned that forming personal relationships within Roselia is the best path to succeeding as a group.”

It shouldn’t be a response that surprises Yukina, nor should it be one that makes her cheeks sting, but it does both of these things, and she cannot quite find the words to respond.

She doesn’t have to, though, because Ako is calling out to them: “You’re missing all the fun!”

On either side of her, Rinko and Lisa are smiling and laughing, ever entertained by the younger girl’s antics.

Sayo glances at Yukina, then—

Holds out a hand.

“Well? You heard her. We’re missing all the fun.”

Yukina’s throat feels like sandpaper.

“I don’t know if I would consider getting soaked with snow to be fun,” she mutters.

Sayo’s lips twitch up a bit. “Neither would I, but we have to walk home, anyway, so there’s no avoiding it.”

That’s true, Yukina supposes. They can’t exactly stand in front of CiRCLE until the snow stops. The evening is already seeping into night, thanks to the closeness of the winter solstice, and Yukina knows she has unfinished homework waiting for her at home, as do the rest of her bandmates, she’s sure.

But…

She looks at Sayo’s outstretched hand, holding her breath anxiously. Sayo is definitely waiting for her to take it, but her arms are heavy, her brain seems unable to even process functions as natural as breathing…

“Yukina!”

It’s Lisa, Yukina notices as her head snaps towards the source of the voice. She’s beaming and waving an arm above her head wildly to catch Yukina’s attention. Finally, Yukina remembers she has been holding her breath, and it falls from her lips in a billowing cloud. She turns to Sayo again, trying for a smile, and takes the girl’s hand in hers.

Though Sayo’s hand is cold, the contact with it spreads warmth up Yukina’s arm, through her entire body. It is probably enough to melt all of this snow, she thinks dazedly, but doesn’t have time to ponder it further before Sayo is tugging her towards their bandmates.

Undoubtedly, all three of them notice their hands, but none of them say a word about it. Instead, as they approach, Lisa says, “Let’s walk together!”

With the cold around them, there is no reason to disagree; travelling in a group is the easiest way to ensure they’ll stay warm, at least until they have to split away from each other.

They set off in short time, Lisa and Ako in the lead and Sayo and Yukina taking up the rear. The whole way, Sayo doesn’t say much, but she doesn’t drop Yukina’s hand until she has to go the other way, to get to her own house.

The absence of her hand is all Yukina can think about, even after she parts ways with Lisa, who sends her off with a “Good night!” and a very knowing smile.

She has no doubts anymore.

Lisa is usually right about her, after all.

---

They decide to meet up for coffee over the following weekend. With Christmas nearing, all the nearby coffee shops are decorated in vibrant greens and reds and golds. Yukina finds that the spirit is not overly infectious, however; even though the holiday is only about a week and a half away, now, Yukina cannot feel the cheer in the air that she knows Ako and Lisa can.

Still, it doesn’t seem as though she is the only one.

When she arrives at their chosen coffee shop, she sees that Sayo is already there, patiently awaiting her arrival. She sips on a drink from a paper cup, eyes shifted on the scenery outside the window to her left. Yukina stays near the door just a moment too long, breath caught in her throat as she looks at the other girl, and then—

Sayo looks up, and it is like Yukina’s heart stops beating completely.

With feet like cement, she makes her way across the shop, until she is in front of the small table near the wall that Sayo has selected.

“Minato-san,” she greets, inclining her head slightly. “I was beginning to worry you weren’t going to come.”

Yukina shakes her head, sitting down carefully. “Just…lost my way, a bit.”

Sayo arches an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I’ve never been here,” Yukina admits. “Though, Lisa agreed that it was a good place.”

Sayo nods slowly, understanding. “I got you a drink,” she says, pushing a cup like hers towards Yukina. When Yukina picks it up, something must show on her face, because Sayo adds, “It’s hot chocolate.”

Yukina cannot help the small laugh that escapes from between her lips. “Am I really that obvious?”

“I’ve only seen you dump a dozen packs of sugar into your coffee a couple times,” Sayo says mildly, bringing her own cup up to her mouth again, but it is not enough to hide her smile.

“Well, thank you.” Yukina hopes her face does not look as warm as it feels, suddenly. “I’m sorry I was late.”

As Sayo sets her cup on the table, she waves her free hand dismissively. “It was only a minute or so. I don’t mind.”

Of course, Yukina knows that Sayo has probably been her for ten to fifteen minutes, already. They’re similar in that way, but…

“Lisa held me up a little,” Yukina confesses. “She’s been planning something with Ako. They want to have some sort of gathering, for Christmas, and exchange gifts… I don’t exactly know the details, but she seems pretty serious about it.”

“They certainly are Christmas crazy.” Sayo’s lips tug down a bit. “You don’t seem to share their enthusiasm, Minato-san.”

“…No, I suppose I don’t.”

She is quiet for a moment, as if considering, and then says, “I was just thinking to myself that the decorations in here seem kind of gaudy.”

In all honesty, Yukina can’t say she really looked at them. When she walked in, the first thing her eyes were really drawn to was Sayo, after all. But a quick glance around assures her that Sayo is right; it is almost overboard, she thinks. Nearly every corner of the tiny shop is covered in tinsel and bells.

“Do you like Christmas?” Yukina asks, tilting her head a bit.

Sayo’s nose twitches a bit, but she gives no other indication that the question bothers her. Instead, with measured words, she says, “I don’t mind it. I’m just not overly fond of the traditions associated with it, I suppose. I’m not very good at giving gifts.”

“Neither am I,” Yukina says. “Though, I never had many people to buy them for.”

“My sister is a far better gift-giver than I am.” Sayo turns her eyes outside again. “It’s like, no matter how hard I think about it, I can’t quite get something…” She pauses, pursing her lips. “Something...”

“Personal?” Yukina finishes, and Sayo’s eyes flick back to her, accompanied by a wry smile.

“Yes. Personal. That would be a word for it.”

“Lisa would always tell me it’s the thought that counts,” Yukina muses. “I’m sure your family feels the same way.”

Sayo blinks, her lips falling.

Suddenly, Yukina’s stomach turns with anxiety. There is no doubt amongst any of them that Sayo’s family can be a sensitive topic, but she was the one who brought it up first, wasn’t she? Still, maybe Yukina wasn’t supposed to carry in through like that. Perhaps Sayo wanted her to take in another direction, away from Hina…

But then, Sayo laughs.

Laughs. Genuinely. Not as if she finds the suggestion funny, but as if she is delighted that Yukina made it at all.

“I didn’t take you to be the type to give advice like that, Minato-san.”

Yukina lets out a short breath of relief, and then takes a sip of her hot chocolate. It is exceptionally sweet, she notes; a part of her wonders if Sayo asked for something to be added to it.

She says, “Well, technically the advice is Lisa’s, not mine.”

“You still passed it on to me,” Sayo points out. “Either way, I guess that’s true. They’ve never seemed unhappy with any gifts I’ve given.”

“I imagine you give very good gifts.”

Sayo’s lips twitch a bit, and she shakes her head. “I try, but unless other people tell me what they want first, well…”

Yukina thinks she understands, but the only people she’s ever really gotten gifts for in the past were Lisa and her dad. If Lisa and Ako go through with some sort of Christmas exchange, though, she supposes that will change this year.

“But it doesn’t matter,” Sayo says. “What about you? You don’t seem very excited for it either.”

“For Christmas?” Yukina frowns. “I guess there’s just not a lot to be excited for. Usually, it’s just my father and me. It’s always a quiet holiday.”

“And Christmas Eve?”

Yukina almost laughs. “Well, I hardly have anybody to spend it with. It’s just another day, really. I would rather spend the time practicing.”

“I see.” Sayo takes a thoughtful sip from her cup. “I suppose I’m the same.”

For some reason, it makes Yukina’s heart beat faster. In an effort to calm her pulse, she takes a long drink from her own beverage.

“But I’m sure Imai-san and Udagawa-san have something up their sleeves,” Sayo muses. “Maybe we’ll be forming our own traditions this year, together.”

At this, Yukina nearly spits out her hot chocolate. Instead, in an attempt to keep it inside her mouth, she swallows it too quickly and begins to cough, throat a bit raw from the heat of the drink.

“Are you okay?” Sayo asks, startled, and Yukina can only nod.

“I just—drank too fast,” she manages after a moment.

“I see… Please be more careful, Minato-san.”

“I—I will.” She clears her throat, hoping she doesn’t look as frazzled as she feels.

“That’s good.” Sayo offers her a small smile, but she doesn’t seem to have anything else to say. Or, if she does, it is well-hidden beneath her expression.

Yukina nods, then tries to remind herself of all the advice Lisa has given her in the past week or so. A successful date, Lisa told her, ends with the promise of a second one, so if Sayo doesn’t take the initiative…

“I’m really glad we were able to come here together,” Sayo suddenly says, startling Yukina out of her thoughts. “I understand that, up until recently, our relationship has been strictly quite professional, but… It’s…” She trails off, scrunching her nose up a little bit. It’s cute, Yukina thinks faintly, but then pushes the thought aside to focus on the other girl’s words.

Finally, Sayo finishes with, “It’s nice to have people to call friends.”

Warmth spreads through Yukina’s chest. “…Yes, I agree.”

“Maybe we could do something like this again soon?”

Now, Yukina’s entire body seems to sear with heat.

“Really?” she asks. “Just—just us, you mean?”

“Yes, of course. Unless…you don’t want that?”

Keeping the smile off of her face is almost painful, but, somehow, she manages.

“I do,” she promises. “And I may have an idea for something we could do together. Do you like cats?”

---

As it turns out, Sayo is more of a dog person. Yukina tries hard not to consider this something of a betrayal, but the good news is that it doesn’t put a damper on her plans at all. They decide that they will go together on the following Saturday afternoon, but in between their meeting at the coffee shop and then, Ako and Lisa finally reveal their plans to the rest of the band.

“Before we all pack up,” Lisa says at the end of their next rehearsal, “I want to ask you guys something!”

The way Ako’s eyes light up at this, Yukina already knows that this is the scheme they have been forming together.

“Very well,” Yukina agrees. “Go ahead, Lisa.”

“Right!” She gets up and stands in front of the other four, beaming. “So, remember how Ako mentioned that we should do something together for Christmas? Well, we got to planning a bit, and we think we should do a Secret Santa style gift exchange! We took the liberty of drawing names for everyone, so all we need is your agreement!”

Yukina surveys the room thoughtfully. Rinko’s lips have pulled into a small smile, Ako appears to be on the balls of feet, waiting with more intensity than Yukina has ever seen on the girl’s face, and Sayo… Sayo’s face doesn’t say much, but she taps her fingers against her leg in what appears to be a somewhat anxious pattern. Because she is not very good at gift-giving, Yukina supposes, but…

Maybe we’ll be forming our own traditions this year…

Together.

Before the other two can speak up, Yukina says, “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea.”

It seems to shock all of them—even Lisa, whose grin is replaced with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.

But to Yukina’s left, she sees Sayo hide a bit of a smile, and she knows that she has said the right thing.

“Really?” Lisa asks. “Well, what about you, Sayo? Rinko?”

“I—I think it would be fun,” Rinko says softly. “As…long as Hikawa-san is okay with it…”

Suddenly, all eyes in the room have turned to Sayo.

“Well,” she says, lips pursed, “if that’s what you all want, I won’t complain.”

Ako and Lisa cheer at this, and Yukina cannot help smiling a little. Though Sayo seems opposed to the idea on the outside, Yukina is quite certain that she’s happy about it, too. After all, she appreciates their bonds outside of music, doesn’t she? Even when it doesn’t look like it…

Sayo sees Roselia as her friends, as much as her bandmates.

“Great!” Lisa says, drawing everyone’s attention back to her. “Then, in order to keep things secret, I’ll message you all with who you’ll have to get a gift for, and then…maybe we could meet up again before Christmas and spend some time together! That way, we can exchange gifts at the same time, plus it might be fun to spend an afternoon together and eat some good food, right? What do you think?”

“Before Christmas?” Sayo is frowning. “There’s not a lot of time between now and then, though…”

“Well, what about Christmas Eve?” Lisa suggests brightly. “Unless you already have plans, of course.”

There is a teasing lilt to her voice, and though Yukina knows the comment is not meant for her, she can’t help the red that tickles her cheeks, anyway. Perhaps it is just the realization that spending Christmas Eve with Roselia means spending Christmas Eve with Sayo, but—

“No,” Sayo says. “I don’t have plans then.”

“Ako? Rinko?”

Both girls shake their heads.

“Yukina?”

Yukina looks away from Lisa, scowling.

“That sounds like a plan, then!” Lisa enthuses. “You guys could all come to my house and bring your gifts! And maybe some snacks. It’ll be a lot of fun!”

None of them disagree, and with the plan made, they begin packing up for the day again. It doesn’t come up as they go their separate ways, but once it is just Lisa and Yukina, Lisa says, “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I never thanked you,” Yukina grumbles.

“You didn’t need to,” Lisa tells her cheerfully. “I guess since everyone’s gone, I can tell you now—we matched you with Sayo for the exchange.”

Yukina pinches the bridge of her nose, barely withholding a sigh. “…Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

Lisa chuckles. “It’ll work out great! If you want help getting her a gift, let me know, but I have a feeling you’ll be more than okay on your own.” She winks.

Yukina lets out a long, tired breath, then says, “If you say so.”

“Is it not what you want?” Lisa asks, her smile suddenly slipping away. “I mean—it’s not too late to change things, if you—”

“N-no, that’s not it….” Yukina turns her gaze up, watching as her breaths billow out above her mouth. “I just...I want to make sure it’s a good gift, I guess.”

They come to a stop in front of Lisa’s house, and Lisa shakes her head a bit, lips turning up again. “I don’t think you have to worry about that,” she says softly. “I think Sayo will be able to sense your feelings just fine.”

Yukina’s breath catches. “I...I don’t know what feelings I’m trying to give to her, though.”

“Well,” Lisa says slowly, “I think…she’ll definitely feel them, either way. Just be honest! I know you can do it. Don’t overthink it, okay? You have about a week, so don’t let it stress you out or anything. And if you want any help, you know where to find me!”

“Right…” Yukina frowns. “I’ll try my best, then.”

“You’re already thinking too hard,” Lisa singsongs. “Just let your heart guide you. It knows what it wants and how to get it, you know!”

Yukina’s not sure about that, but she offers Lisa a weak smile nonetheless.

“Okay,” she agrees. “Good night, Lisa.”

“Good night, Yukina!”

Lisa turns and enters her house, leaving Yukina to trudge back to her own, mind already completely focussed on all the things Lisa told her not to think about.

And even though they race around her head for the next five or so hours, cutting well into her sleep time, she will never, ever admit it to Lisa.

---

That Saturday, Yukina finds herself outside of a local animal shelter, relatively near her house. She has been coming here for a long time—since she was a kid, and was able to find her way there on her own. She had been hesitant to invite Sayo here, but if she wants to have a meaningful bond with the other girl, she suspects a good way to cultivate it would be to share the things she loves with her, outside of music.

Sayo didn’t seem overly disappointed in the suggestion, though; instead, she said she would be looking forward to it, and mused that it had been a few years since she had stepped foot in an animal shelter or anything like it.

Yukina supposes she’s not so different, but she has found herself coming her on her own for many years. As she got older, it became the best way to keep her mind off of unhappy thoughts, and, eventually, the volunteers at the shelter began to recognize her. Though she has never shown an interest in adopting any of the cats, they allow her to come in and play with them, regardless.

In all honesty, Yukina is not completely sure why she thought asking Sayo to come here was a good idea. Truly, she hates to admit how much happiness she gets from these cats, but…well, there’s not really much else she does besides this and singing. So, even if it’s embarrassing…

“Minato-san!”

Yukina turns around, heart racing, to see Sayo coming towards her at a quick pace, likely due to a desire to escape the heavy chill in the December air. Yukina can see the girl’s breaths, white puffs in front of her, and notices that the wind, though light, blows her hair wildly, though somehow not covering her face. Eventually, she comes to a stop in front of Yukina and crosses her arms over her chest, looking as if she is trying very hard to preserve even a bit of her body heat.

“Let’s go inside,” Yukina suggests. “It’s warmer there.”

Sayo is quick to agree, and so Yukina leads them inside the building. As the door closes behind them and they remove their shoes, the volunteer at the front desk says, “Good afternoon, Yukina-san!”

Yukina tenses a bit, but does her best to look up and greet her with a smile. “Good afternoon.”

“You’ve brought a friend,” the volunteer notices. “That’s unusual.”

Heat rises up on Yukina’s cheeks like flames. “R-right, I did. This is Sayo.”

“I see. Well, it’s a pleasure! Are you here to see the cats?”

“N-no, I was wondering if maybe I could meet your dogs today, actually…”

The volunteer blinks. “Of course. Let me lead you to them.”

Sayo and Yukina follow her lead, to the opposite side of the shelter than Yukina is used to going. Admittedly, she’s never been to this part of the building, but she has a feeling Sayo will probably like it more. Besides, she can visit any time she wants to, though she’s sure that she misses the cats far more than they miss her.

“In here,” the volunteer says, opening up a door for them. Immediately, there is barking in Yukina’s ears, and she grits her teeth to stop from wincing at the sound.

“There’s not a lot of room to play in here,” the volunteer says apologetically. “But I can introduce you to some of them, if you’d like. What kind of dogs do you like?”

Yukina glances at Sayo, uncertain, but the other girl does not look any surer than she feels. The volunteer must notice the looks on their faces, though, because she laughs and says, “Well, I’ll just introduce you to some I think you might like, then.”

She ushers Sayo and Yukina into the room, then closes the door and hurries past them towards one of the kennels. She opens the door and steps aside, allowing a small brown dog to step out. It appears to be some kind of mutt, but when it looks up at them, even Yukina cannot deny that it is cute. A quick look at Sayo tells her she feels the same—though she is obviously trying very hard to, she seems unable to keep a smile off her face.

“This is Masa,” the volunteer says. “He’s getting a little old and tired, but he’s very loveable. You can pet him,” she adds. “He’d be happy if you did.”

Yukina looks down at him, frowning, but before she can even say a word, Sayo is kneeling down beside the small dog and attempting to coax him towards her. He does come at her call, but slowly, almost as if lifting his legs is a great challenge.

“He’s cute,” Sayo says quietly. “Don’t you think so, Minato-san?”

“Ah…yes, I suppose so.” Yukina inhales sharply, then gets down on the floor beside Sayo and reaches a hand towards Masa. He is soft to the touch, but certainly not as soft as a cat.

Gently, Sayo lifts the small dog up and raises him up in front of her face, as if inspecting him.

“Let me introduce you to some others,” the volunteer says. “They’ll all get along well, so don’t worry about that. Let’s see…”

She steps around the younger girls and begins opening more of the dogs’ doors. In short time, they are surrounded by other small to medium dogs, some more boisterous than others. One thing they all have in common, though, is—

“They’re so fluffy.”

When Sayo says these words, it is with a feeling that Yukina thinks she understands well. After all, it is the reason why she comes to this place at all.

At the thought, Yukina’s chest swells with warmth.

“You come here often, don’t you, Minato-san?”

Yukina blinks. “Ah…I…”

“I suppose we don’t have much we have together,” Sayo says quietly. “There are things I share with the rest of Roselia… Baking cookies with Imai-san, or Udagawa-san and Shirokane-san’s games, but you…”

Yukina looks away from her, chest aching. “We have music.”

“…Yes, that’s true, but…” Sayo straightens up a bit, even as one of the dogs puts its paws up on her lap. “This is different, isn’t it?”

It is. Of course it is.

“Sayo.”

She looks up at her, and Yukina tries not to let the look in the girl’s eyes knock her breath away completely.

She inhales shakily, then says, “I’m sorry.”

Sayo watches her for a moment, and then—

“What for?”

“I know I’m…not exactly the most personable member of Roselia,” Yukina says, eyes drifting down to the dog that has flopped over Sayo’s lap, while the others play with each other behind it. It looks up at Sayo, tongue lolling out happily, but Sayo is not looking back at it.

When Sayo doesn’t say anything, Yukina continues:

“It hasn’t been easy for us to be like this, and I know that, for the most part, it’s my fault. Even when everyone else was coming to love Roselia for Roselia, I only cared so much because of the music, because of my own goals. So, I’m sorry. Sorry that, while you and Lisa and Rinko and Ako were growing closer, I wasn’t doing the same.”

“I respect you a lot, Minato-san, but sometimes it shocks me how obtuse you can be.”

“…Huh?”

When Yukina looks up at her, Sayo is shaking her head. “You’re just as close as the others are, and always have been. We know you have things you have to work through. We all do. But none of us will do it alone, anymore. And I’ll remember, if something is on your mind, I can always bring you here.” She smiles a bit. “That’s what I’ve learned it means to be friends. So, Minato-san…don’t feel like you have anything to apologize for.”

Yukina’s heart roars in her ears.

“Yukina,” she says quietly.

“Sorry?”

“Yukina,” she says again, stronger. “That’s what my friends call me. Yukina.”

“Yukina,” Sayo repeats, and though it sounds foreign rolling off of her tongue, it ignites butterflies in Yukina’s stomach.

“Right,” she breathes. “Yukina.”

Sayo’s eyes are fixed on hers, and Yukina is suddenly acutely aware of how close they are. Her heartbeat is louder than it ever has been—she wonders if, maybe, it is the sound of Sayo’s, too, beating in time with hers. The thought is enough to stop her breaths, and she can’t be damned to remember how to make them come back. Only centimetres separate them, and if Yukina leaned any closer—

A bark between them makes both of them jump, and, in no time at all, they are far more than mere centimetres apart, and the dog on Sayo’s lap is standing up, tail wagging, tongue still hanging out the side of its smiling mouth as if it doesn’t even care about what it interrupted.

Sayo clears her throat. “We should probably get going soon,” she says. “Where did…?”

Yukina stands up, brushing off her skirt and hoping her cheeks are not as red as they feel. A quick glance around the rooms tells her the volunteer has slipped out of the room, but she guesses the woman is not far and will be back in short time.

Sayo pats the dog’s head before getting to her feet and joining Yukina. Before either of them have a chance to say anything, the door opens, admitting the volunteer again.

“Are you leaving?” she asks.

“Y-yes,” Yukina manages. “But thank you for letting us come today.”

“Hopefully you’ll both be back?”

Yukina and Sayo exchange a quick glance, and then Sayo says, “Of course. We’ll be looking forward to coming again. Next time, maybe we’ll visit your cats. Right, Yukina?”

Yukina.

Though it is terribly…middle school, it brings a smile to her face.

“Right,” she agrees. “Soon, hopefully.”

“Good to hear.” The volunteer beams. “Well, you and your friends are always welcome, Yukina-san. We’ll get these guys back where they belong, and then you can head out. Okay?”

Sayo and Yukina are both quick to agree, but even once they are on their way out, Yukina cannot help feeling a little disappointed. This, she thinks, it’s why she’s a cat person.

But when they begin walking away from the building, the sun already setting behind them, Sayo stops Yukina with a hand on her arm.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” she says, a hint of a smile on her face. “I had a lot of fun.”

Yukina stares at her, and then registers the words.

“O-of course,” she breathes. “Thank you for coming with me.”

When Sayo turns away from her, Yukina sees that her lips have pulled up into a full smile, now.

They walk on together in silence.

Maybe, Yukina muses, dogs are not so bad after all.

---

Christmas Eve arrives before Yukina can even begin to count the days, and with anxiety jabbing at her stomach the second she wakes up that morning, she decides the best thing for can do is just head to Lisa’s house a little early.

This turns out to be a mistake, however, because she is clearly not the only one who had this idea.

When she knocks, Lisa simply calls to her to come in, rather than coming to the door herself. From experience, Yukina knows this means that she’s probably in the kitchen, and so she steps inside and closes the door behind her before slipping off her shoes and coming in.

“I’m sorry if you’re busy,” she starts. “I was just feeling somewhat—”

She comes to a halt outside the entrance to the kitchen, her words falling flat as she sees Lisa is not alone.

Beside her, helping her with her baking, is Sayo.

“Yukina!” Lisa greets, and Sayo looks up from what she is doing, blinking.

“I didn’t know you had company.”

Lisa laughs. “Well, it’s hardly an intrusion. Right, Sayo?”

“Right,” Sayo says quickly, before turning her focus back on her task with an expression on her face that Yukina cannot even begin to decipher.

“Besides,” Lisa continues, “it’s good that you’re here! You can be the first to taste our cookies.”

“O-oh.” Yukina swallows. “Right, definitely. I’ll just wait until you’re done, then.”

Lisa frowns at her and opens her mouth to say something, but Yukina turns away from her before she can even get a word in.

She shrugs off her coat and hangs it on the back of one of the seats at Lisa’s table before sitting down. She would’ve left it at the door, but the knowledge that Sayo’s gift from her sits in the pocket of the article is enough to make her want to keep it as close to her as possible.

As the other girls bake in the other room, Yukina finds herself thinking over her plans for the day again. She knows why Lisa assigned her to Sayo for the exchange, of course, but even knowing that is not enough to make her feel prepared for it.

In all honesty, Yukina has never been one for romance. Perhaps it’s because her first love was music, and she vowed that it always would be, but now she is older, more mature, and…

Well, she certainly won’t use the word love yet, but she supposes Sayo and music are not so far from each other, in her heart.

Eventually, Sayo and Lisa come to join her at the table, dragging her out of her thoughts and into casual conversation. The smell of baking cookies fills the air, and for the first time all month, Yukina feels herself rather content with the holiday season.

Their timer dings, and Lisa is immediately on her feet.

“I’ll get them,” she tells Sayo. “Stay here with Yukina! I’ll be back with some cookies for use right away.”

She doesn’t give Sayo a chance to respond before she is hurrying to the kitchen, and so Sayo turns to Yukina with a quick smile and says, “I wasn’t expecting you to come here so early.”

“Ah, well, I’m close by, so…”

“Nothing to do at home?”

“I suppose.” I would’ve gone crazy left with only my thoughts about you, but this isn’t really much better. “Lisa always says it’s like I can sense when she’s baking, though.”

“I see.” Sayo drums her fingers against the table thoughtfully. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.”

Yukina cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips. “Yeah,” she says, though her mind has been racing since she arrived, “I’m glad too.”

Before either of them can say anything more, Lisa is delivering a plate of cookies, which she sets between them triumphantly.

“Well?” she asks. “Go ahead! Try one out! You too, Sayo!”

She waits expectantly as her bandmates both grab a cookie off the plate. They are as good as ever, Yukina thinks, but…

They’ve all been shaped like different things. Christmas trees, Santa hats, mistletoe… They are iced with reds and greens, and sweeter than snow.

“Very festive,” she remarks quietly.

“Do you like them?” Lisa asks. “It was Sayo’s idea!”

Yukina looks to the other girl, surprised. “Really?”

Sayo looks away from her, but it is not enough to hide the hint of red that crosses her cheeks. “Well, I suppose I’ve just been feeling a little better about my gift-giving this year, is all.”

Despite herself, Yukina smiles a bit. “I see. I think I understand that.”

The minutes pass by far quicker after this, with Lisa encouraging them to eat more cookies than is probably humanly possible. “There are lots more in the kitchen,” she assures Yukina. “We’ve been baking for quite some time!”

In what feels like no time at all, there is a knock at the door, and Ako and Rinko have joined their gathering, too.

Over the past month, they have all been working much harder to work together, as a single unit of friends rather than five musicians who just happened to be stuck together. Maybe Yukina didn’t really realize before how much they had changed, but she realizes it now. Before, Lisa would dote on Yukina, and Yukina would let her. Sayo would mind herself, and only herself. Rinko and Ako were inseparable, and though they certainly were the most ambitious in cultivating personal relationships with the other three, they were still so clearly best friends before all else.

Now, Yukina thinks she would never be able to tell that those separations had ever existed, had she not been a part of them herself.

Lisa is practically force-feeding Rinko cookies, and Ako has captivated Sayo in a long, animated conversation about Neo-Fantasy Online, to which Sayo responds with bashful enthusiasm (which, Yukina admits, is really, really cute). Yukina, herself, has curled up on one of the armchairs in Lisa’s family room with a warm cup of hot chocolate and watches her bandmates—her friends—relish in the festivity of the day.

Eventually, though, Ako is the one who pulls herself out of the conversation and declares, “It’s time to exchange gifts!”

Ako and Lisa direct them to sit in a circle, and then Lisa begins to explain:

“We’ll randomly decide who will go first,” she says, “and then we’ll go clockwise from there. Okay?”

Everyone is quick to agree, and then Ako brandishes a bowl with five slips of paper, holding it out for Lisa to select a name. She does, looking away and closing her eyes as she fishes for a name in the bowl, and then—

“Rinko!”

From beside her, Yukina feels Rinko jump at the mention of her name.

“A-all right,” she squeaks. She reaches behind her and grabs what looks like a wrapped box. The wrapping paper, Yukina notes in amusement, is the same paper Lisa wraps her gifts in almost every year.

“Imai-san,” Rinko says, “it’s for you!”

Lisa beams as she reaches across the circle to grab the gift. She wastes no time in removing the wrapping paper (though, for the most part, she doesn’t even rip it), and then she lets out a small gasp and looks across the circle to Rinko, smiling more widely than Yukina has seen her smile all week.

“Thank you, Rinko!” she cries. “I love them!”

Rinko smiles in what Yukina can only guess is relief as Lisa pulls out a red-ish coloured scarf and what looks to be a cookbook. Her eyes shine as she puts them down beside her and then reaches into the box for one more thing, which Yukina barely manages to make out as golden hoop earrings.

“I’m really glad,” Rinko says softly. “Th-there are some...recipes in the book I—I thought you and Hikawa-san m-might want to try out together.”

“That’s very thoughtful,” Lisa says brightly. “I’m sure we will!”

Next up is Ako, who offers out a gift bag to Rinko. Setting the tissues aside carefully, Rinko eventually pulls out two books. Both of them appear to be anthologies or something of the sort, but Yukina can’t really say she would know the difference even if she could properly make them out.

Rinko’s lips pull up happily. “...Thank you, Ako-chan. We’ll...read these together, right?”

“Of course!” Ako beams. “It’s almost like it’s just as much a gift to you as it is to me, Rin-rin!”

Both girls giggle at this while Lisa smiles at them fondly.

“Lisa-nee!” Ako declares once she and Rinko have composed themselves again.

“Right,” Lisa says. She pulls out a box similar in size to the one Rinko’s gifts were in (and wrapped in the exact same paper). Yukina watches her, expecting the gift to be pushed her way—after all, Lisa can’t have drawn Sayo’s name—and can almost barely keep herself from openly gaping when Lisa instead pushes the box towards Ako.

While Ako opens the gift with none of the gentleness with which Lisa and Rinko opened theirs, Yukina and Sayo exchange a confused look.

If everyone else has both given and received a gift, then…

“You set us up,” Yukina accuses, far louder than she meant to.

The other three stop, just as Ako is lifting the lid off of the box.

“Yukina,” Lisa starts, then stops. Frowns.

“A-Ako-chan hasn’t opened her gift yet,” Rinko says quickly. “Maybe we should…”

“Right,” Lisa says firmly. “Open it up, Ako!”

Yukina deflates slightly, but it doesn’t stop the uncomfortable feeling swirling in her chest, suddenly. The small box she has held in her lap all this time is suddenly searing against her skin, and she almost can’t stand the thought of it.

“Lisa-nee!” Ako squeals, holding up a box with what looks to be some sort of headset, likely for gaming. “Thank you so much!”

“I hope you like using it!” Lisa says. “Well, then—”

“It’s my turn, right?”

Everyone turns to look at Sayo, who is uncharacteristically avoiding their gazes and fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“Yep,” Ako says, when nobody else responds.

“Very well.” Yukina thinks she sees Sayo’s lips twist down a bit. “Yukina?” She looks up, suddenly; Yukina finds herself lost in the depths of her eyes. “Will you step outside with me?”

Sayo and everyone else seem to be holding their breath as Yukina stares at Sayo, the words not quite coming to her. After a long moment, she gives a jerky nod and stands up, Sayo quickly doing the same and then leading her out of the room.

In silence, they put their coats and shoes on, then Yukina follows Sayo outside. They walk down the sidewalk, and then a little away from Lisa’s house, the opposite way of Yukina’s. Eventually, Sayo comes to a stop, turning to face Yukina with a very guarded expression.

Yukina’s anxious breaths billow out in front of her, but she does not feel cold at all, not with the way her heart is racing.

“I had a...suspicion,” Sayo starts awkwardly. “I knew they were plotting something, but I couldn’t be sure if...if I was right or not.” She stops, abrupt. Yukina can’t tell if her cheeks are reddening from the cold or something else entirely. She holds out the gift that she has carried out with them. “Merry Christmas, Yukina.”

Without a word, Yukina slips her own gift back into her pocket and accepta Sayo’s. It’s simply a box, with a pink ribbon keeping the lid on securely. With as much grace as she can manage, Yukina pulls the ribbon towards her, undoing the bow and allowing her to lift the lid.

She reaches inside, grabbing the cat-shaped mittens. For a moment, she doesn’t know what to think. And then, unbidden, a laugh rises up in her throat and bursts out between her lips.

“I thought, well, they really—suit you.” Sayo looks away from her, and Yukina is certain about the source of her blush, now. “Imai-san suggested all sorts of things, but when I saw those, I knew they were what I had to buy. I—I hope I didn’t make the wrong decision.”

Yukina exhales slowly, still unable to bring her lips back down from their touched smile. “You didn’t,” she says quietly. “Thank you, Sayo.”

Sayo smiles, too.

Putting the lid back on the box, Yukina sets it on the ground beside her and then reaches in her pocket for the small box she brought with her today. She hasn’t even told Lisa what it is, but a part of her feels confident that, like Sayo, she did not make the wrong decision.

When she offers it out to Sayo, the girl takes it with ginger fingers. She takes the lid off, and Yukina watches her eyes soften through the dim light offered by the Christmas lights around the neighbourhood.

“Yukina,” Sayo says, looking up at her again, green to gold, and there is nothing else. No Christmas lights. No gift exchange behind them. No cold wind, or shimmering snow. Just them.

It’s a necklace, with a silver, heart-shaped pendant. Should Sayo wish to, she could fit a picture inside it. Secretly, Yukina hopes it can be one of the two of them together.

“Thank you,” Sayo finally manages, voice very soft. “It’s beautiful.”

There is not much distance between them, but Yukina steps closer anyway. “Sayo—”

She doesn’t get a chance to reply before Sayo’s winter-chilled lips press against hers, soft, gentle…

Yukina melts into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut as she soaks in the feeling of it all, Sayo’s arms around her, lips on hers, hair tickling against her cheek. All too soon, Sayo pulls away, but she doesn’t go very far.

Yukina opens her eyes again, meeting Sayo’s just above her.

After a beat, both of them smile.

“Merry Christmas,” Yukina whispers, and leans up to kiss Sayo again.

This time, she does not close her eyes.