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A Moment

Summary:

There's never going to be a perfect moment to confess it. And you're running out of time. It might not be ideal, but maybe just showing him will be better than nothing.
Or: Telling Spiderman 'I love you' is hard.

Notes:

Just a self indulgent one shot. I love Peter Parker and have the biggest crush on Tom Holland.
Gonna be trying to write more oneshots for practice. There will likely be more errors, though, cause I'll finish them hopefully quicker than I do chapters.
Hope you like it!

Work Text:

Wind blew hard this high up. Like it was trying to knock you over. Defiantly, your legs pumped under you. Feet pounding against the concrete of the room. Arms driving you forward even faster. Always faster. Blood rushed in your ears and every breath made your lungs burn just a little hotter. It was exhilarating. Laughter followed closely behind you. Childlike, happy laughter and you laughed too, unable to help it.

The edge was coming. It raced towards you. There was a small wall that blocked off the end of the roof, no higher than your hip. Your violet suit glowed as the anticipation built, reading the signs from your body. Then the sole of your boots hit the top of the barrier, barely even slowing, and you shoved off it. Hard.

Air rushed around you, as if trying to slow your fall. The ground was so far away. Several stories away. For a solid 10 seconds, you felt free. Then you focused on the next building steadily getting closer. A flash of red swung right past your left. You passed over the edge of the roof and the gravel crunched under the balls of your feet as you landed. Then you rolled. The suit absorbed most of the impact in a flash of black across violet.

What it didn’t take, your fortified cells accepted in a second.

Still, thanks Mr. Stark.

Fluidly, you popped up onto your feet and glared at Peter. He was already pulling off his mask, smiling cheekily at you. Jabbing a finger accusingly at him, you stalked over to him “Lead by web shooting doesn’t count.”

Irritated, you tugged your half mask up onto your forehead. It was a pair of tight fitted black goggles. They kept you connected with your suit’s AI and helped your aim.

“Ah common! I was totally winning anyway!” Peter grinned, wincing when you threw a kick at his head. He avoided it with a back handspring and laughed, “You’re such a sore loser.”

“And you’re a cheater.” You couldn’t avoid the smile anymore, following him over to the edge of the roof.

Peter plopped down, feet dangling off the edge. Without hesitation, you joined him and leaned against the railing. Quietly, your eyes scanned the downtown Manhattan streets. The sun was setting but the city was still alive as ever. Throngs of people crowded around down below, like ants. Even the cars and buses looked small from this high. Still, it was a quiet afternoon. No screams for help. Just the bustle of the city.

From only a few blocks away, the Avengers tower stood like a beacon of safety. The sight made your stomach lurch. Tomorrow was coming sooner than you would like. Still, the silence between you two was companionable and easy. This was your favorite part of the day.

Away from college. Away from the Avengers. Forgetting every responsibility that stacked between the two of you. If only for a little while. Stubbornly, you looked over at Peter, away from the Tower.

“Wanna do anything special? To celebrate?” You asked, forcing a bit of lightness in your tone.

Peter frowned thoughtfully, and then shook his head, “Nah, just patrolling with you is good enough.” His shaggy brown hair danced around his eyes, tickled by the wind. The smile he gave you was sweet and warm. It sent a shock of something pleasant through your stomach.

This was Peter’s last night in New York for a while. For the rest of the summer. The heat from the sun warmed your skin, but the suit let in every gust of air, cooling you back down. “I wish Mr. Stark would let me come.” You grumbled, not for the first time.

A guilty expression crossed Peter’s features and he shrugged, “I know. But Mr. Stark—”

“I know.” You muttered, annoyed and kicked your feet, letting your heels hit the metal siding of the building, “‘One kid’s enough trouble.’” You mocked in Tony’s voice. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand. You did. Really. But it didn’t change the sick feeling deep in your gut at the thought of Peter fighting anywhere without you. You and Peter had been a team ever since he became Spidey.

And friends even longer.

Peter got his powers by accident. You were born with yours. Just never had a reason to use them until Peter decided he wanted to be a superhero.

“You’ll go on the next one. He promised.” Peter appeased, and you scowled.

“Ya, without you.”

Tony planned to keep you on separate teams until he was sure you could work as well apart as you did together. Avengers in training. Like you hadn’t proved yourself enough up until now.

Peter looked like he was about to say something, so you stood up, restless, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” It wasn’t just this. This was just one tiny issue in a pile of problems that made your skin itch.

Frustrated, you paced back away from him and then leaned against the railing across the rooftop. Tilting your head back to stare up at the sky. Even a yard away felt too far. The thought of him being miles away, where you couldn’t help was too much. The metal rail was cold against your back, and your fingers tapped the familiar beat of a song you couldn’t name against it.

“Y/N.” Peter stood up too and walked over so he could stand in front of you. There was a rare level of seriousness in his tone that made you look at him. Up at him. When had he gotten taller than you?

“I will come back.” He stated, and you flushed, feeling your heartbeat skip. The sun caught in his hair, making it almost copper and his deep brown eyes stared unwaveringly into yours, “Promise.”

Sometimes, you forgot how perceptive he was. Between all the joking and puppy-like enthusiasm. He was smart. Smart and he noticed almost everything. Peter was still dense in some ways, though. Missed a lot when it came to the way people felt.

Like the way you felt about him. It just seemed to go straight over his head.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. It’ll get you in trouble.” You chastised lightly, squeezing the bar behind you tight enough that the metal creaked.

It was Peter’s turn to scowl and he gestured between the two of you, “But I will keep it. I won’t let anything happen to me.” When you just raised your eyebrows at him, he groaned in frustration, “I can’t leave Aunt May alone. Or Ned. He’ll flunk outta NYU without me.” He explained, and you nodded.

“Ya, he’s pretty hopeless.”

“And I won’t leave you alone either.” Peter cut in, squeezing his fists and fiddling with his Spiderman mask in front of him. He rolled it into a ball and then smoothed it back out.

Suddenly nervous, butterflies came alive in your stomach again. This phenomenon was becoming more and more frequent. There wasn’t an exact moment that you could remember falling in love with your best friend. It didn’t suddenly appear out of jealousy when he dated Mary Jane. Or sprout from anger when she inevitably broke his heart.

Forcing a chuckle, you reached forward and shoved a hand into his face, making his step back. Then you moved past him, “You’re such a sap.” You teased, trying to find air again. Trying to control your breathing and calm your heart. Over the past few months, you found yourself waiting for him. Wanting him to make the first move. To give you a sign or find the perfect moment to confess how you were falling in love with him more every day.

Love had just grown in your heart. From little things. From familiarity and comfort. Grew until it was too big for you to deny anymore. You didn’t freak out either. Didn’t start panicking about ruining your friendship. If anything, you felt relieved and happy about it. Who better to fall in love with then your best friend? Even if he hurt you, he would never abandon you.

Peter caught your wrist and turned you back as he glared playfully, “I’m trying to be serious here. I don’t want you to worry about me.”

But worry you did. From the beginning, you had been there to watch his back. Now you had to trust someone else to do it for you. If something happened, your perfect moment would never come. Peter would never know. And that scared you.

“I know.” You replied softly, pulling your hand back. Sadness was never a good look for Peter. So, you put on a mischievous grin and started backing up towards the railing on the other end of the building. It was only a few yards back “You know what we need to do?”

Peter stared at you suspiciously, “What…?” He took a couple steps after you, keeping close and his eyes tracked your every movement.

Impishly, you tugged your goggles back into place. The AI activating automatically and showing you all the little details of your surroundings that even your sharp vision couldn’t pick up, “It’s been a really long time.” It had only been a week, but that was long enough in your book.

“Long time since what?” Peter chuckled, slipping his mask back on, and his white spider-eyes narrowed on you.

“Since I tried to fly.” You turned and dashed towards the edge of the building. There wasn’t another rooftop waiting for you past that ledge.

Peter shouted your name, telling you to wait. But you never did. With every ounce of trust in your body, you jumped over the ledge and let yourself free fall. The AI deployed your gliders, flaps made of nanites that formed from your wrist to your ankles, catching air and slowing your fall. Gravity tugged you down, but your wingsuit caught air and slowed the decent just enough. The city was beautiful from here.

Sunlight was almost entirely gone now. Leaving only the city lights like stars below you. Car headlights and streetlamps glittered amongst the black. Laughter bubbled out, immediately rushed away by the wind. Only a short amount of time passed as you fell, but it was long enough.

Even up a little over 1000 feet in the air and assisted by your wingsuit, you had about 20 seconds before you would smash into the ground. Predictably, Peter let your freefall last for only 5 of those seconds. Then you felt his web catch on your forearm. Instantly, you grabbed a hold and held on, wrapping it around your arm and wrist. He caught you in his swing, smoothly easing your fall rather than jarring you to a completely stop. The nanites receded back into your suit with a ripple of black. When he arched up, released the first web, and shot another one, he threw you higher and shot a web into your back. Using the leverage, he caught you around the waist. You were still laughing.

This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last time Peter caught you from a building. The first time had been an accident in the heat of a fight and popped your shoulder out of place when he jarred you to a stop. Every other time after you called a ‘Trust Fall’.

An interesting way to make sure that, as long as he was around, you would never crash with your wingsuit. Plus, it was kinda fun to swing with him.

Of course, you were never in any real danger. Tony installed a parachute into your suit immediately after you hurt your arm.

“At least give me a warning.” Peter groused, out of breath. You wrapped one arm around his neck, the other under his arm helping hold yourself up while he navigated back towards the Tower. With each swing of the web, he switched the arm holding around your waist

“Funny, I thought I did.” You replied, laughing and adrenaline still coursing through you. With every shift of muscle, you could feel his movements right before they happened. Peter was strong and as he got older, the muscle definition showed. Not that you loved him for his body, but it was extremely nice.

“Ahuh, sure you did.” He slowed you down to a gentle stop on top of the Tower’s roof. You stumbled back, getting your feet under you and smiled cheekily at him as you removed your goggles again. Happy, you let out a breath, walking a few feet away and turned back to see him tucking his mask away.

The light from the Tower illuminated him in a soft blue. City lights twinkled behind him, and suddenly you were out of breath again. Fluidly, he pressed a button at the center of his chest and the nanites receded in a ripple of red back to barely visible cuff on his wrists. Leaving him in jeans and a t-shirt.

“That was the best catch yet I think.” You mused, trying to distract from the blush making your face hot. The nanites of your suit disappeared into their necklace and you tucked it back under the collar of your shirt. He tried to appear annoyed with you. Really tried, but the smile tugging up his mouth gave it away.

“You’re just saying that so I don’t tell Tony and get you grounded.” Peter teased, walking over to you and crossing his arms.

Offended, you glared at him, “You wouldn’t dare.” When he gave you a very suspicious shrug, as if considering it, you smiled, “You know me way to well.”

He stopped in front of you and nodded, “I do.” There was something heavy in his tone as he stared down at you. A moment passed where you held eye contact for probably longer than necessary. It felt like you were hanging by a thread. Stuck in a moment with him and hope made your stomach lurch when you could have sworn his eyes dropped to your lips.

Then he blinked and stepped away, gesturing to the door, “We should get inside. Dinners probably ready.”

Frozen, you watched him walk away for a second and panic set in. If you went inside, then your perfect moment might never come. Once inside, you would join the other Avengers for a big family dinner. There wouldn’t be another second alone with him. Then he would go to bed and tomorrow he would be flying half around the world to take down a Hydra cell without you.

And then—

“Peter!” Your voice broke through the quiet and he stopped, almost to the door, turning to look back at you curiously.

“Ya? What’s wrong?” His eyebrows creased, and he frowned, turning back to face you, door forgotten.

“Close your eyes.” You demanded, swallowing the lump in your throat and trying to soothe the savage beating of your heart.

“What?” His frown deepened, and he tilted his head, messy hair falling haphazardly around his face.

“Just… please?” You whispered, taking a few heavy steps towards him.

Peter pursed his lips, apprehensive, but then nodded “Ok, ok. Are you alright?” He asked, eyes falling closed. Even with his eyes closed, you knew he could sense you. Every step you took as you got closer. Probably every breath. Maybe even the rise of your heartrate if you got close enough.

“Ya I just. I want to try something.” You stated as evenly as you could.

His nose wrinkled, “You’re not messing with me are you? Cause I swear, I will put bleach in your shampoo.”

“We’re not in high school anymore. Geeze. Don’t you trust me?” You asked, laughing and easing some of the tension in your shoulders. Within a second, you stopped in front of him and Peter crossed his arms, eyes squeezed tighter. Like he was resisting the urge to open them.

“I want to say yes…” He teased, and you swatted at his arm making him squawk.

Peter’s eyes popped open to glare at you, but you poked his nose, “Close.” And he obeyed, grumbling and rubbing at his arm.

You took a deep, calming breath and stared at him. Just studied him and tried to decide if you were really doing this. Finally, you tipped up on your toes, and placed your hands on his shoulders. He tensed but didn’t back off. Then you leaned closer and held your breath as you finally brushed your lips over his.

Peter’s mouth was soft and pliant under yours. His arms raised as if he wanted to touch you or push you away, but then he didn’t. He just stood perfectly still. Slowly, he tilted his head and gently kissed you back. Your lips brushed together in a sweet, warm dance and your hands swept up to feel the soft hair at the base of his neck.

Then you pulled away. It couldn’t have lasted longer than 5 seconds, but just like freefalling, it felt like so much longer. Peter stared at you, skin flushed deep scarlet and eyes round in surprise. His mouth opened, as if he was going to say something, then he closed it and swallowed.

Nervous, you took a step back and dropped your hands, just enough space so you could think straight again. After another couple seconds, you let out a breath and explained, “I just wanted to wish you good luck.” It was an absolutely dumb excuse, but it was the first thing that came to your head.

Peter raised his eyebrows and swallowed, voice still cracking as he asked, “Is that really all?”

After a second of his inquisitive gaze you looked away, down at the ground and shrugged. This was it, the moment, and now your nerves were getting to you, “Y/N.” He stated, trying to get you to look at him. Hesitantly, he reached for your hand, you watched as he stopped, pulled back and then went for it again. His touch was warm and familiar, but very unfamiliar in this context. Peter tugged at your hand and squeezed, “What’s going on?” He pleaded, nervous in a way you hadn’t seen in a while. Unsure of himself.

“How did it make you feel?” You asked instead, meeting his eyes again.

His blush, which had been receding back, flooded his face again. Uncertainly, he shifted from foot to foot and blew out a breath “Well, um…” He stared up at the sky and then back down at you, a renewed determined set in his jaw, “Good. Really good and a little nauseous.”

Surprised, you covered your mouth and tried to hold back a snort of laughter, “Really?”

Peter nodded quickly, eyes bright, “Ya but in a good way. Like when you’re on a rollercoaster.”

Fondness made your chest feel like it was expanding bigger than it should and you smiled wide, nodding because you did understand what he meant. Your eyes met his and everything came into acute focus. The wildness of his hair, pink dusting across his nose, how his eyes were big and brown, full of wonder. You adored this man. But that word didn’t do the emotions swelling up in you justice, “I love you.” You whispered.

It felt like the most natural thing to say. Like breathing.

A thick silence fell. One that left anxiety pricking at your skin and all the oxygen disappeared from the air again. Still, you made yourself stand there. Hand in his and didn’t back track. Didn’t make up an excuse or run away, even though you wanted to. Your eyes searched his face, looking for any pre-warning signal for his reaction.

It took approximately 10 long seconds before his face lit up in a gleeful grin, “Really?” He asked, disbelieving even after you nodded. Then, intelligent as always, “Oh my god I can’t—” Peter cut himself off by letting go of your hand and spinning away. He was still smiling as he fist pumped the air and jumped with a shout and laugh.

Eyes wide, you gaped at him as he danced a little, repeating a series of ‘yes’s and cheers, “Peter?” You hesitantly called out, smiling despite being entirely confused and a little concerned.

He whipped around to look at you, eyes owlishly round, as if he forgot you were there, “I’m sorry it’s just.” Peter walked hesitantly back over to you, head ducked and smiling sheepishly. He took a deep breath when he finally stood in front of you again and let it out in a rush, shaking himself, “Ok! Sorry. Just…” He shook his head and was still grinning like an idiot. A very adorable idiot, “I never thought I would hear you say that. Ever.”

You probably had a mirroring, idiotic grin on your face at this point too. Still shy, you reached forward and took his hand again, “Why not?” He was staring at your hands now, and brought them up, interlacing your fingers between your chests.

Peter stepped closer, until your hands were almost trapped between your chests. You could feel the rise and fall of his breath from this close, “Well, cause… We’ve been friends for so long and I didn’t think you would ever, in a million years, feel the same way I feel about you.” His voice dropped to a whisper towards the end.

With your free hand, you ran your fingers through his hair, brushing it back and making it stick up. Peter smiled fondly down at you, his free hand catching yours and interlacing those fingers too. You licked your lips, enjoying that he tracked the movement, “I just wanted to tell you. Ya know, before you left.”

Peter frowned, suddenly remembering that tomorrow he had to go for a couple months, “Guess we’ll have to postpone our date till then.”

“A date?” You raised your eyebrows and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you and making your arms cross behind your back. Your chest was flush against his and you wondered if he could feel the rapid beat of your heart.

“Ahuh.” He agreed, smirking deviously now and you wanted to kiss that look off his charming face, “Isn’t that what people do when they love each other?” He dipped down, as if to kiss you again.

“So, we’re people that love each other?” You asked, right as his nose brushed yours.

Peter paused, frowning “I thought so.”

“You still haven’t said it.” You smirked, and his expression lit up with understanding.

Then you giggled when he pecked your forehead, “I,” He kissed your cheek “Love,” Then your other cheek, “You.” He pulled back and smiled sweetly, leaning down again, a little more seriously, “A hell of a lot.” Then he was kissing you again, deeper and with more passion than you ever expected.

His hands released yours and he squeezed your hips while your arms wrapped around his neck. Your teeth caught his bottom lip and he shivered underneath your touch. Then he nibbled your lip back in return, tilting his head to kiss you firmer. You tangled your fingers in his hair and he hugged you tighter, only to lift you off your feet.

You squealed as he spun you and he laughed, lifting you up in the air, your hands propping up on his shoulder. He dropped you down, catching you in another kiss.

Suddenly, a throat cleared very loudly through the air, “Alright kiddos! Your dinner’s getting cold! And a certain little spider has to go to bed early. So, stop sucking face and get down here!” Tony’s voice cut out, leaving your ears ringing.

You and Peter stared at each other with very round eyes and equal looks of embarrassment, “Do you think he was watching….?” You asked slowly. Peter shrugged, letting go of you and stepping back, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh! And you’re very cute. Congratulations. Barnes says he’s gonna kick your ass if you fuck this up Peter.” Tony added, making you jump again. Peter yelped.

“Helicopter parenting is rude Mr. Stark! And frowned upon!” You shouted, looking around for wherever the hell the cameras were hidden.

Tony didn’t even dignify that with an answer.

You huffed and picked up your goggles from the ground where you dropped it. Peter peeked up at you shyly and held out his hand, which you took easily, bumping your shoulder against his.

“I love you.” He whispered, still smiling sweetly down at you. You started walking towards the door, slowly, not really in a hurry to get teased by the rest of the team. Peter bumped his shoulder back against yours, making you stumble a little, but his hand kept you from falling.

“Love you too.” Right then, you didn’t think you would ever have any other perfect moment like this.

Instead, you figured you would have endless, imperfectly perfect moments. Together.