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You Had Me at Hi by 27dragons, tisfan for james
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
03 Jan 2019
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Summary
16 gilajames said: Prompt: "Sorry, I don't speak skank." Anybody, but Tony walking in and saying "I do!" (Like he's offering to translate. ;-) )
Series
- Part 3 of Sarcasm Prompts
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“And I was not shaking out the sheets like that,” Bucky gesticulated wildly. “What is he saying to get that much quality ass?”
“I don’t know, Buck,” Steve admitted. “Sorry, I don’t speak skank.”
“I do!” said Tony as he came in the room, his own bowl of popcorn balanced precariously on the omnipresent coffee mug. “What skank are we speaking to?”
“James wishes to know how he can have the sex appeal of Jason Statham,” Nat said. “I think it’s a hopeless case and he should just give up.”
Tony turned toward the movie and watched for a moment as Statham scored yet another pretty girl. Steve had to admit, Bucky might have a point. Maybe he had a mutant power that would be revealed later? No, too subtle for this sort of movie.
“Oh, well, that’s pretty easy, really,” Tony said. “It’s only about fifteen percent actual sex appeal. The secret is in saying the right things, in the right way.”
“I have actual sex appeal,” Bucky protested, flexing just a little harder than usual. The way he always did when Tony was in the room. “He doesn’t. So what the hell is he saying that’s getting him into everyone’s pants?”
Tony set his bowl and mug on the table. “I imagine it’s something like...” He leaned over the couch until his lips were brushing right against Bucky’s ear -- which was totally unnecessary; Bucky’s hearing was as enhanced as the rest of him -- and whispered something, low enough that even Steve couldn’t hear it.
Bucky’s neck turned red, and then his ears, and then his whole face. He looked like a tomato that was about to combust. His mouth opened, but no sound came out.
Tony straightened, just a hint of a sly smirk on his lips, and winked at Bucky. “A little bit like that,” he said, his tone easy and unaffected. He plopped down onto the couch between Bucky and Nat, and grabbed his popcorn.
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