Chapter Text
MEETING AGENDA
From: Yongmin Noh <[email protected]>
To: Junmyeon Kim <[email protected]>, Minseok Kim <[email protected]>, Yixing Zhang <[email protected]>, Baekhyun Byun <[email protected]>, Jongdae Kim <[email protected]>, Chanyeol Park <[email protected]>, Kyungsoo Do <[email protected]>, Jongin Kim <[email protected]>, Sehun Oh <[email protected]>
The following are today’s meeting agenda (from the board and the marketing department):
- Minseok’s Enlistment Announcement
- Kyungsoo’s Movie Announcement
They’re still debating whether or not it would be a good idea to release both news on the same day.
- Junmyeon’s charity event press release
- Chanyeol’s solo album date plotting
- Baekhyun’s Prive partnership with SM Ent.
- Sehun’s Busted 4 Schedule alignment
- Jongin’s mentorship show schedule alignment
- Jongdae solo album date plotting
- Lay’s visits for the rest of the year with movie release (temp)
Meeting is at 2pm. It’s expected to stretch until 6pm. Snacks are provided as usual. Don’t be late. This is our last meeting with Minseok for a while.
- Pagod na ‘ko mapagalitan kapag may late sa inyo. Talaga nga naman. Kaya agahan nyo na. Lalo ka na, Sehun Oh.
Yongmin Noh
Head Manager
“Movie announcement, huh?”
Junmyeon throws a glance at the bed next to his to which Kyungsoo only laughs. It’ been three weeks since Raon’s birthday and a week since Junmyeon was able to move back to their shared room. Kyungsoo made sure to tidy up and even hired a professional cleaner because he felt so bad for his behaviour in the last two months. Things were looking up. At least, in the house. They’ve mostly been working on solo stuff and they haven’t seen each other for more than twice a week. Sunday family dinners were a must, per Minseok’s instructions and so far, the past Sundays have been fun and drama-less. Kyungsoo and Jongin didn’t continue their talk from Jongin’s childhood bedroom but all is well, he thinks because they can now sit next to each other at dinner without crying or asking for help. They don’t look at each other, there’s that but sitting next to each other for more than four hours from dinner to drinking seemed like a progress. To the rest of the boys, everything seemed normal again except that they weren’t kissing or sharing sweet glances at each other.
To Jongin and Kyungsoo, it was a silent agreement to shove it under the bed until they were both ready.
“Charity events, huh?” The younger throws back.
“You knew about my charity events.” Junmyeon looks at him. He didn’t look betrayed but he didn’t look to happy either. Whatever happened to telling everything first? “I didn’t know about your movie.”
“Because it’s a surprise. You’ll love it.”
It was indeed a surprise but no. Junmyeon did not love it. When the topic about Kyungsoo’s movie flashed on the screen with several bullet points about the major details, the room fell silent. It was the Jongin-Jennie situation all over again. All eyes were on Kyungsoo but this time, the latter had a smile on his face as he watches his friends’ mouths fall agape.
Kyungsoo’s Movie Announcement
- The Good Side Project by Adi Anello
- With Andy Samberg, Kyungsoo Do, Isabella Gomez
- Palo Alto and San Francisco (California), New York (New York),
- 18 months with reshoots and promotions
“18 months? Who shoots a movie for 18 months?” Junmyeon doesn’t hide the annoyance in his tone when he looks at the presenter in front. “Shoots are 6 months, tops.”
“The production asked for 18 months so I gave them 18 months.” Kyungsoo sweeps in, shooting an apologetic smile in front then he looks at Junmyeon, putting on his please let me I love you face. “We have events inserted in those eighteen months. Fashion shows, photo shoots, interviews, TV guestings. Hindi naman ako naka-cage lang sa movie na ‘yan.”
“Kahit na! 18 months? That’s one and a half year! Di ko magets who works at a film for more than half a year?”
“It’s with reshoots and promotions. Plus, we’re filming for eight months tapos we’re taking a break for I think, two months? Tas reshoots tas promotions. I mean, 18 months is the total time that I’ll spend on the movie. Not 18 months on a film set. Plus, sa break ko na 2-3 months, I’m filming a web series for here.”
“Pero—“
“Kuya, I’m still doing this.” Kyungsoo says, seeing that Junmyeon will argue his heart out until the bosses change their minds. “We signed a contract and everything.”
The slide moves from Kyungsoo’s project to the next. Junmyeon’s charities were listed on the next but nobody seemed to be paying attention anymore. The rest of the boys’ slides fly in a blur and before they know it, the secretary is recapping the minutes of the meeting. The highlighted and most important part of it all was Minseok and Kyungsoo’s projects. Minseok was going to be gone for two years which was almost the same length of time as Kyungsoo’s stay in the States. It was an unspoken note that when Minseok is about to come back, Junmyeon, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Jongdae, and him would start enlisting. He needed to be a part of the older group because there’s a film lined up for him when he comes back. No one would see Kyungsoo for at least a good four years unless it’s a co-worker, a boss, or a manager.
“But you’re rich.” Kyungsoo jogs to Junmyeon, linking their arms together. “You can come visit me in California or New York.”
“The longest I’ve not seen any of you was two weeks. How do you think we’ll adjust ng 18 months?”
“Okay, now you’re just being clingy.” But he doesn’t let go of his kuya Junmyeon’s arm until they get back in the dorm. They start preparing for dinner without Minseok forcing them to do so. The entire house is quiet, only the clinking of the silverware and the bumping of the bowls filled in the silence. Kyungsoo doesn’t know where the heavy atmosphere came from. They all knew Minseok was leaving in a week. They’ve had far too many goodbye night outs to forget about it and he didn’t think him moving to the States for a while would be a big of a deal. Baekhyun bumps his hip every now and then when he washes the leaves. Chanyeol taps his shoulder to make him taste the soup he was making. Jongin and Sehun stayed seated in the dining area after the fixed the table while Jongdae was absent-mindedly staring at the rice cooker. There were Minseok and Junmyeon chopping endless onions and radish and Kyungsoo wonders when Chanyeol will tell them to stop.
“Inom ulit tayo.” Sehun suggest, a few mouthfuls in. He’s the first one to break the silence and everything else pauses. “Dali na.”
“We’ve had six goodbye parties and next week pa naman aalis si kuya.” Kyungsoo chuckles, ruffling Sehun’s hair in the process. “Plus, may pupuntahan ako after dinner.”
Kyungsoo excuses himself in the middle of cleaning up and he exits the dorm quietly so no one would ask or try to come with him. The time on his clock says 8:30 and he wonders if it’s a decent time to visit somebody’s house especially someone who isn’t your friend. He hasn’t been out in a while and the only friends he has are his members but he continues to drive anyway. The streets are barely lit but the roads are empty and quiet. Perhaps the universe knew that a person who barely drives also known as him was driving tonight and it didn’t want to risk any casualties. His GPS tells him to turn right, another right, and then a left. He stops in front of a secluded building with only one light for the entire neighbourhood. Not the safest place to be in. He parks his car and jogs to the front door, rings the doorbell twice and—
“Hi, Jennie.”
The first thing that comes to Kyungsoo’s mind is that one’s blanket should never leave the confines of their home because Jennie is wrapped in her large duvet, hair sticking out in all places, clad in her pajamas, feet covered with only socks, and a can of ginger ale on her hand. erhhkdn
“Kuya Kyung—How did you—What time—Does Jong—“
“I’m good friends with your manager. It’s eight something pm, and no, Jongin doesn’t know.” Kyungsoo bends down to pick up the part of the blanket that was on the ground. “Can I come in?”
Jennie moves out of the way to let him in but Kyungsoo is still holding a part of the blanket so it wouldn’t be dragged on the concrete back to the house. Their dorm was a lot smaller than EXO’s and a lot homier (despite Minseok’s, Junmyeon’s, and his’ best efforts to make it seem like a home). Maybe it had to do something about being girls or perhaps the number of the people living in it played a factor. The EXO dorm seemed like a two-story, never-ending bachelor pad (a good description because it used to look like a fucking pigsty). Kyungsoo kicks off his shoes by the threshold and then, he follows Jennie into the living room.
“Water, Tea, or Coffee?” Jennie asks, removing the duvet and placing it on the couch. On the TV, Knowing Brothers was playing (one of Jongin’s favourite shows) and Kyungsoo thinks that, yeah, maybe they do have a lot in common. “The remote’s over there!” She points to the duvet and then chuckles at herself. “Under somewhere there.”
“I like this show too.” He smiles. “I’d like some tea.”
When Jennie exits the living room, Kyungsoo picks up the duvet and folds them properly before placing it on a single couch right in front of him. He really doesn’t know what came over him to decide to be where he is now but he had an inkling feeling that it was the right thing to do. He has to at least apologize for his behaviour and for somehow excluding her in gatherings. It wouldn’t hurt to get to know the person Jongin was interested in just so he knows that the love of his life is in good hands. He was about to leave soon and he wouldn’t be back home for a while so one night, over video games with Baekhyun, he decided to tie loose ends before leaving.
“It’s Peppermint. I’m not sure but dati nabanggit ni Jongin na gusto mo ng peppermint.” The tea is on a china cup which Kyungsoo assumes that she had to look for somewhere in the cabinets. A regular mug would’ve been fine but put your best foot forward, as they say.
“He hates peppermint.” Kyungsoo picks up the cup to take a sip from it. Decent. “Thank you. Asan members mo?”
“Umuwi. Kakatapos lang po kasi ng promotions and we were given a break so umuwi sila.”
“Eh bakit ka andito?”
“My entire family lives in New Zealand.” She stands up and presses the volume on the TV itself to lower it down. “I’m going home in December anyway. We only have two weeks eh sayang naman.”
“So you’ve just been here…?” Kyungsoo asks. The image of Jennie he has in his head somewhat resembled his cousins who went to an all-girls school—loud, obnoxious, and self-centred but the person in front him right now was quiet, dainty, and a homebody.
“I’ve been catching up on Netflix.” She notices the change in his gaze and she looks away in embarrassment. “Kakatapos ko nga lang ng One Day at a Time.”
“I love that show!” He puts down his cup to high five her. “Naiyak ako dun sa spiel ni Schneider when Abuelita got a coma.”
“Sis?!” Jennie was full-on excited, whether it was because they shared a same interest or she was just excited about the show, Kyungsoo doesn’t care. “I bawled when Penelope forgave her!”
Kyungsoo ends up picking up the remote and searches through her Netflix account to find the show that they were looking for. He plays the episode that they were gushing about and Kyungsoo throws her an excited look.
“Lowkey crush ko si Schneider.” Jennie says, ten minute through the episode.
“Same.” When Kyungsoo was driving to this almost isolated place, he imagined a lot of tears and a dramatic exit. After all, it seemed like he was going to ask her to take care of the most precious thing he has. He didn’t imagine himself to be watching one of his favourite shows while excitedly sharing anecdotes with the current girlfriend of the love of his life. Maybe, just maybe, things can end up well. “I-pause mo na ‘yan. Maiiyak nanaman ako.”
“Kuya, nasayo yung remote.”
A sad scene is flashed on the screen. Albeit, on pause. It somehow brings out emotions that weren’t supposed to come out until later because Kyungsoo puts the remote on the center table and slumps back on the couch and Jennie watches him with utmost respect. It’s almost painful how much Kyungsoo is beating himself up for the times he hated her.
“I came here because I wanted to apologize.” He says, eyes still fixated on the screen. “For everything. For EXO excluding you kapag andon ka or kapag na-OP ka kapag andun ako. I’m sorry that I basked in the attention of his family kahit ikaw na dapat ‘yon. I’m sorry for unintentionally hurting you.”
Jennie slumps back as well and brings her legs close to her chest.
“Kuya, can I be really honest with you?” She asks, voice low, and her arms wrapping around her legs. Kyungsoo tears his gaze away from the screen to look at her. He nods. “When I met him, it was around the time that you started filming for 100 Days. It was through our common friend in school. Hindi ko alam na schoolmates kami kasi parang fourth year na ata siya tas lagi siyang absent kasi nagtetrain tapos ako first year lang ako nun but yeah, anyway, it was at a party because his friend who is also my senior was engaged and him and—“
“Wait, si Jin Woo ba ‘to?”
“Yes!” Again, the things they find in common put them at ease. “Kuya Woo was my sister’s classmate and I used to hang out a lot in their house so ayon kaya kami friends but I was classmates with Hanbin and Jiwon and we kind of were the ones who worked early in our batch so ang dami naming namiss ganon. So Hanbin, Jiwon, Jongin, and I kind of stuck together the entire night. I mean, we joined them but kami yung group since everyone was also in groups.”
Kyungsoo doesn’t remember a conversation with Jongin about Jennie but then again, he doesn’t remember half the things in 2018 but if he remembers Jin Woo, he probably mentioned Jennie in passing.
“I didn’t see him again until Kuya Woo’s wedding which was a month later. They celebrated their engagement nung okay na lahat ng details nung kasal kasi medyo organized freaks sila nung asawa niya. I went there alone because Hanbin brought a date and so did Jiwon but Jongin didn’t. We were both alone but since we were the ‘group’, we stuck together.”
That, Kyungsoo remembers. Jongin spent days creating a matrix of their schedules just so he wouldn’t have to go dateless on Jin Woo’s wedding but in the end, he said yes to a radio guesting and Jongin had to go alone. They fought later that night. Jongin cried. It was the first time Jongin brought up his shitty time management skills and how he needs his time and how he wants to spend time with him. He remembers promising him the world, apologizing, and kissing his sorrows away. He remembers breaking that promise almost a week later.
“He told me his date couldn’t go and he wanted to drink away but I also remember him saying that he had a schedule the next day. So instead, I asked him to get cake drunk. There were mini cakes and a variety of desserts, ‘yun na lang. I didn’t ask him why his date couldn’t come but by the fourth round, he stopped checking his phone. We exchanged numbers then. Not just me and him. Pati sila Hanbin. Actually, we exchanged numbers para makapag laro kami sa Telegram.”
The Telegram game was another version of the mafia game that Jongin and Sehun were obsessed with. His phone used to blow up because the rest of EXO were dragged into playing the game. He remembers, muting their chat to keep him focused at work, and then later on missing important matters because he forgot to unmute it. Junmyeon gave him an earful when he missed the impromptu company dinner with the CEO.
“And we started texting because—“
“Crush ka na niya?”
“No.” Jennie chuckles and somehow, despite the situation they’re currently in, Kyungsoo breathes a sigh of relief. “My boyfriend cheated on me and that guy was in his dance troupe in high school. He was my first boyfriend. I remember texting Jongin about something sa group chat and then halfway through I saw my boyfriend with someone else so I just ranted sa group. He texted me privately after. So did Hanbin and Jiwon but Jongin first. He said he was waiting for someone so it was okay to talk on the phone at 1am. I was sad. I would take any form of comfort at that point.”
Kyungsoo knows that he has the biggest heart. Jongin would take a bullet for any of his friends. And while it irks him that he doesn’t know this part of Jongin, he takes pride in how kind and how big his heart is. Even if Jongin wasn’t waiting for anyone (read: him), he would’ve stayed on the phone until Jennie was feeling better.
“That lasted for a week. He was working so he could only talk on the phone. Hanbin was in charge of bringing food in the morning and Jiwon in the afternoon. They had this pact that they would take care of me until I was feeling better. It was nice. They were my best friends at this point. I couldn’t tell my members because they didn’t know about my boyfriend but they knew of my friendship with the boys. And then one day, I called him because I bumped into this ex-boyfriend sa company namin mismo but he picked up crying. I don’t remember much of what he said on the phone but I just remember asking where he is and going to where he was.”
“Was he at the dorm?”
“No. He was at your house.”
“In Cavite?”
“In Cavite.” Jennie nods. “He said that you were mad at him for something and you wouldn’t get out of the house and you refused to go to the dorm. He said that the company van left and he doesn’t have any means to go home. He cried so hard, my heart hurt. I mean, you get said when somebody cries di ba? Pero Jongin was borderline hyperventilating and I remember going to Cavite at god knows what time it was to get him and he was in front of your house, sprawled on the grass, drunk, and crying.”
It was the fight. Jongin showed up at his film set and demanded that he go home for some babe time and Kyungsoo was so, so embarrassed that a six foot tall man was pouting, stomping at a public place. There were so many things running in his head like they could be found out or people could see them and they could fabricate stories about the two of them. He brought him to the car and screamed because, Fuck Jongin. I’m so tired. You can’t do this. To which Jongin screamed back, I haven’t seen you in a month and a half. I haven’t spoken to you in two months. Konting intindi naman diyan. He asked to be excused early and the production sent him home despite the six remaining scenes they still had to do. He apologized profusely for his unprofessionalism and for his friend’s behaviour. He didn’t go home to the dorm that night. He went home to his mom, in Cavite. Jongin begged and cried but Kyungsoo only remembers fuming with anger because he could’ve tainted actor Kyungsoo’s reputation. He was spitting nonsense and Jongin was taking it all in with nothing but tears. In the end, he spat out the most hurtful words he could mutter, Hindi kita boyfriend. Umuwi ka na.
“That was my first impression of you, kuya.” Jennie says quietly, offering him a sad smile. “You were the person who broke my friend’s heart. I was cheated on but I wasn’t broken like that but Jongin… Jongin stripped down his dignity at this point. I took him home, not to your dorm, but to here. I read a text on his phone from kuya Chanyeol, sabi niya Jongin has to come home prim and proper because their families were coming over for something I don’t remember. So I took him here. I called kuya Chanyeol and told him what happened. He came over so he could wash kuya Jongin. He brought clothes, he got him dressed. Kuya Baekhyun followed with food. Jongin woke up a couple of hours later na sobrang walang emotion. Parang di niya maalala yung nangyari. Papagalitan pa siya na siya ni kuya Baekhyun pero nung nakita niya na tulala talaga, inuwi na lang nila. The next morning, I found him here again. And the morning after that. And the days after. I asked him why kasi palagi na lang siyang sinusundo dito, sabi niya kasi sa dorm, palagi ka niyang naalala.”
Kyungsoo came home one day with the intention of making it up to Jongin. He took a day off from filming to talk to him and to apologize but Jongin didn’t come home that day and nobody knew where he was. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were at Viva Polo helping out Chanyeol’s mom because they were understaffed. He waited until the wee hours of the morning and until he had to go back to work but Jongin didn’t come home.
“One day, nagkwento na lang siya about you. Your story. How you were his first love. He said he wonders if you’ll be his only love kasi masyadon intense yung nararamdaman niya. Masyadong ka niyang mahal, sabi niya. He said you guys were a dream until you became an actor. He said he was stuck between not wanting to love anybody else and wanting to forget you. He said that he started moving back your things from his room to yours. Slowly but surely, sabi niya. I just felt like—when I look at him—he doesn’t deserve any more heartbreak. I know I’m not supposed to be the judge of that but he was so, sad kuya. You have to understand that his heart wasn’t just broken. Siya mismo.”
“I know, Jennie. I know.”
Jennie pauses to look at him as if to assess if he really knows because what she had to go through with Jongin was no joke.
“When he asked me to be his girlfriend, he didn’t ask me explicitly. We both know that we’re getting over people and I knew that it would take more than a few months for him to get over you. But our industry is weird and suffocating and you need at least one person to be with you to keep you sane. He asked me if I wanted to be together so we both don’t have to be alone. I didn’t understand, at first. He shouldn’t make me a rebound and vice versa but the heartbreaks, the exhaustion, the stress, you know it’s going to break you kung wala kang kasama.”
“But he had the boys…” Kyungsoo muttered to himself but Jennie shook her head.
“You had the boys and Jongin knew too that’s why he asked me because I was his friend. The boys were family and you know how family works, sasabihin walang kinakampihan pero meron naman. He knew that you had the boys and he had no one. I agreed to his proposal after a few drinks with Hanbin and Jiwon. We started to date but there wasn’t any change. He didn’t take me out on dates nor did we start being all clingy and mushy. We were still the same friends who just, kind of, sort of dated. Kaya when your company offered to release the news about us, we were both chill about it because it wasn’t like we were at a honeymoon phase na gusto namin between us lang. We both kind of went, sige. Whatever floats your boat.”
“You agreed, just like that?”
She nodded, pointing to the blanket nearer to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo takes the blanket and hands it to her. She quietly wraps the duvet around her as Kyungsoo lets the information sink in.
“He didn’t want the boys to tell you because he wanted to be fair and say it himself. Kahit di naman talaga naging ganun yung ending. He didn’t agree to hurt you. For the most part, Jongin just uses his mouth and not his brain. Kaya nga he always breaks down drunk pag ikaw ang kasama kasi doon nya lang nasasabi yung gusto niya. Sabi niya kasi wala na daw siyang maramdaman. He’s just numb and pushing through every day kasi wala naman siyang choice kundi makita ka. Alam mo ba na when you got hospitalized, Jongin was so frantic and he was crying on the phone because dehydration kills people, as you know by now, and I was the one who drove him to the hospital.”
“Okay lang ‘yun sayo?”
“I like Jongin, kuya.” Jennie wraps the duvet tighter. “I know he kind of likes me too but he loves you. I can’t compete with that. I went in this relationship knowing that we were in it for the companionship. It stung a little when he was practically yelling for me to drive faster pero hindi ko rin naman siya pwedeng madaliin na kalimutan ka. He tried to breakup with me that night because maybe he could work things out with you pero narealize niya rin na hindi na tama.”
“Why didn’t you breakup with him?”
“He asked me not to. He said that in the beginning of the relationship. He can’t have another person leaving him and that if I was ever tired of him, I should just tell him so he can be the one who leaves. I thought it was selfish but I also kind of get it. You didn’t walk away from him, you just kind of disappeared. I guess he doesn’t want a repeat of that.”
When Kyungsoo reaches for the tea, the cup has gone cold. He wonders of the many stories that Jongin shared to Jennie about him. He wonders of the days and the nights that Jongin had to wait for him and Jennie was right there with him. He thinks that Jongin has a heart of gold and he didn’t deserve what Kyungsoo did.
“I’m leaving in a week or next, next. I’ll have to check but I’m leaving soon for work.” Kyungsoo reaches for her duvet to give it a squeeze. He isn’t sure if he and Jennie are on a skin-to-skin comfort level yet so he settles for the duvet. “I came here to apologize for how I treated you kahit indirectly. I’m sorry for making you feel out of place. I didn’t know you played a big part in saving Jongin. I mean even if I knew earlier, I shouldn’t have treated you like that. The rest of the boys kind of just follow what I do and I’m sorry for that too.”
“You don’t have to be.” Jennie assures him. “I’ve known him for a year. I’ve been with him for only five. Ano bang laban ko sa seven years?”
“Wala naman sa tagal ‘yun. I think you’ve done more than I did and I just want to say thank you—for being there for him, for being his friend, and just for loving Jongin in ways that I couldn’t.”
It’s when Jennie reaches for his hand and intertwines their fingers together that Kyungsoo feels like crying. There were so many things that went wrong with him and Jongin, both in the relationship and within their selves. He was so lucky to have the boys but Jongin spent most days alone. There were so many things left unsaid and Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he deserves to be forgiven after everything.
“I think that even if Jongin and I breakup, I’ll always be his friend.” Jennie says, rubbing circles with her thumb on his skin.
“I wish I could say the same. He can’t even look me in the eye these days.”
“Nakaya mo nga akong kausapin, kaya mo rin si Jongin. Ikaw pa ba? You know him like the back of your hand. You let me know if he gives you a hard time. I’ll whack him when I see him.”
They ended up finishing the rest One Day at a Time’s episode before Kyungsoo goes home. He gives her a hug—a tight squeeze—and Jennie walks him out with her duvet wrapped around her again. Kyungsoo finally tells her to not let the fabric get dragged on the ground and she chuckles, nods, and says, Thank you Kuya. I appreciate it. Kyungsoo drives away, the same dark alley that isn’t scaring him anymore. He feels a little lighter and fresher. He doesn’t feel the need to shave all of his head off anymore. When he pulls over their garage, he greets their guard with a much livelier, much happier—Hi kuya! Before jogging back up to his dorm. Jongin is in the living room with a bucket of popcorn and some beer on the table. Sehun is asleep on one couch and Minseok on the other.
“How did your talk go?” Jongin asks. For a moment, Kyungsoo thinks he might be in trouble but there’s a small smile on Jongin’s lips, a small teasing one, as he shoves a mouthful of popcorn in his mouth.
“Nasa baba lang kaya ako.”
“Liar. Jennie texted me the moment she saw you outside their gate from their CCTV.” He smiles, a gentle and genuine one. “So, how did it go?”
“We watched One Day at a Time.” Kyungsoo locks the door and kicks off his shoes. He sits on the arm rest of the couch where Minseok is sleeping. “Then we talked. Well, she talked. I just kind of listened.”
“And…?”
“And…” Pause. “I know Sehun’s fake sleeping so do you want to go to my room and talk?”
“No crying.” Sehun sits up and points at the two of them. “I’m over the two of you na iyak ng iyak. Please lang. Naubos na towel at tissue dito. Next week pa maglalaba si Ate Bing.”
“No crying.” Jongin repeats.
“Promise.” Kyungsoo gestures to his room and he walks out with Jongin trailing behind him. When he arrives at his and Junmyeon’s room, he plops on his bed and points to the empty one in front of him. Jongin closes the door and places himself on Junmyeon’s bed, legs immediately going in an Indian position. “So?”
“You’re leaving soon.” Jongin starts. “For a year and a half. Baka makalimutan na namin yung mukha mo pag di ka umuwi-uwi.”
“Don’t be as dramatic as kuya Junmyeon. Uuwi naman ako. The movie’s just a really good opportunity.”
“I know.” He looks at Kyungsoo with his signature bear-smile. “I’m proud of you.”
Kyungsoo nods in acknowledgment. A sigh. Here goes nothing.
“Jongin, I’m sorry for everything. I really am. I just—akala ko kasi palagi kang andyan and andyan ka naman talaga pero di ko kasi naisip kung gaano ka-selfish na career muna bago ikaw and—“
“I know that I’m not—“
“Mamaya ka na! Ako muna! Baka makalimutan ko yung sasabihin ko.” Kyungsoo waves him off and Jongin raises both of his hands in defense. “I know that you understand my work because we’re have the same job but I guess I got lost into it and then eventually, I got tired to be what you need. But that isn’t your fault. We both have faults but this one, isn’t yours. This is all on me. You reached out and ran an extra mile for me with a level of courage I didn’t know you have pero binalewala ‘ko yun and I’m sorry. I get it kung bakit andyan si Jennie ngayon. I’m not mad anymore and I don’t think I had the reason to be in the first place. She saved you from…from me.”
Jongin feels his heart clench but he remembers the promise they made to Sehun so instead he nods, looks down, and calms his breathing.
“I didn’t mean to break—destroy you, Jong.” Kyungsoo covers his eyes in panic. “Tangina, lagot tayo kay Sehun. Teka, kakalma lang ako. Okay? Wait. Game. Kyungsoo, hinga. Okay, game, game. So, ayun. I didn’t mean to break your heart like that. I wasn’t thinking and I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. A part of my decision to take the movie in the States was to give us the space that we both need. Before we were this, we’re EXO members and I need to at least save that. Aayusin ko muna ‘yung sarili ko sa malayo, ha? Para pag balik ko, kung ano man ‘yung naghihintay sakin, pwede ko nang harapin ng maayos.”
“Okay ka na? Ako naman?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo slowly nods at him, the tears pooling in his eyes were gone now but the sadness remains. “Jennie is my best friend. Hindi ko alam kung napansin mo pero nawalan ako ng kaibigan dito simula nung nagulo tayo. Never nilang aaminin ‘yun. Sasabihin nila fair sila sa atin pero alam naman ng universe na hindi. Hindi ko rin sila masisisi. Ang pangit nga naman tingnan na biglang may third party pero you can ask kuya Chanyeol and kuya Baekhyun, they know na magkaibigan muna kami ni Jennie bago ang lahat. I’m sorry for making you think na ang bilis mong palitan or na pwede kang palitan but I don’t think there could be anyone other than you. As a friend. As a boyfriend. No one can replace you.”
“Nag promise tayo kay Sehun pero nagpapaiyak ka.” Kyungsoo groans, wiping his eyes before they hit his cheeks.
“Bakit? Nag reklamo ba ko nung ikaw nagpapaiyak?” Jongin retorts, laughing at the flushed Kyungsoo in front of him. “Tatapusin ko na ‘to para di na tayo umiyak. Sige na. Game, so. Jennie was there and a part of me knows that I can’t lose Jennie. Not in the way that I lost you and I know that she understands that. She’s great, Kyungja. She’s lovely, she’s smart, she’s amazing… but she isn’t you. I used to get mad at myself for comparing her to you. You couldn’t be more different from each other, I promise but naisip ko, no one will ever be you. Come what may, you will always be my Kyungsoo. I have to get past that.”
“You’re getting past that already.” Kyungsoo says, showing him a small thumbs up. “You’re doing a great job.”
“I know.” He nods in agreement. “I’m fixing myself with the help of Jennie. It’s unfair but I really don’t know how to be by myself. I know that one day, I’ll have to do this alone and Jennie knows this too but she’ll always be there so I don’t have to be scared when that happens so as much as I want you to stay and not do the movie because, ang tagal ng 18 months ha, I know you have to.”
Kyungsoo stands and walks up to Jongin, opening his arms for the younger boy to fall into. Jongin drops his head on Kyungsoo’s chest, his arms wrapping around Kyungsoo’s waist. They stay in each other’s arms for quite a few minutes before Kyungsoo says,
“Wag mo ‘kong ihahatid ha. Dito ka na lang. Paguwi ko, pag natapos na ‘yung shoot, saka na lang ulit tayo magkita.”
He doesn’t except Jongin to agree so he’s a bit surprised when he feels him nodding against his chest. With another squeeze, Jongin leans away to look at him.
“You do what you need to do to fix yourself.” Jongin smiles, tears drying on his cheeks. “I’ll be here when you come back.”
“I sure hope so but you don’t have to wait, ha?” Pause. “I know you’re going to be the great person that I know you could be. Take the time and space to find him.”
Jongin stands up to place his arms on Kyungsoo’s shoulders. This time, it’s Kyungsoo’s arms that wrap around his waist.
“Wherever the wind takes you and Jennie, I won’t take it against you. As long as you’re happy.”
“You’re the love of my life.” Jongin whispers. “I hope you’re okay with that. I’m not putting the pressure on you. I’m just saying thank you. Thank you for being the love of my life.”
He feels a kiss on his forehead and Kyungsoo relaxes. He thinks of how underrated forehead kisses are because wow, it was all it took for him to be breathe properly and to be somewhat okay again. The door swings open with a very concerned Sehun. He looks puzzled at the sight and then the baffling look turns into a smile.
“Akala ko nagpatayan na kayo. Masyadong tahimik eh.”
When Minseok leaves for the military a week later, the rest of EXO were in his assigned place to drop him off. Strictly no tears, he said. He promises to take them out on his first vacation day. They all wait for newly enlisted soldiers to sing the national anthem and for the leaders to recite some instructions before they left, waving one last goodbye to Minseok.
“Oh my god. He’s so small. Paano siya magsusurvive?” Chanyeol cries as soon as they enter the van.
“I’m pretty sure kaya ka niyang sakalin kung narinig niya yang comment mo.” Baekhyun laughs, snuggling up to his boyfriend to calm him down.
Junmyeon ends up taking them out for sushi to make them feel better and they all head back to the dorm to play one round of Overwatch. They tuck themselves early and Chanyeol sleeps in Minseok’s bed for the night and for the next few nights until Baekhyun tells him that he misses him.
Another week later and Kyungsoo doesn’t let them bring him to the airport. Sehun is throwing a fit, marching in the van despite Kyungsoo’s protests. There was no way in hell that he isn’t getting dropped off. Kyungsoo argues that he’ll be back before Minseok and that it wasn’t a big deal because he might even be home for Christmas but he doesn’t win this argument. Not this time. Junmyeon orders them to go to the van and Kyungsoo sulks all the way from the front door to the van because now his departure is sadder than it should be.
“Only Jongin kept his promise.” Kyungsoo grumbles. “Sabi ko wag nyo na ko ihatid tas iiyak iyak nanaman si Chanyeol.”
“Feeling mo iiyakan kita?” Chanyeol pipes up, rolling his eyes when they catch each other through the rear view mirror.
“Technically, sabi mo wag kang ihatid pero wala kang sinabi na bawal tayo magkita dito.” It’s Jongin who hands him the luggage cart and Kyungsoo just wants to scream at everyone because now he wants to cry. He shouldn’t be crying because this is just work. He’s been gone longer and even though, this time, they won’t be able to visit him whenever they want to, they still shouldn’t be crying about it. Chanyeol’s the one who fixes his luggage one suitcase on top of the other and Jongin is the one who pushes it to check in. Bakehyun and Sehun’s arms are linked with his on both sides and Jongdae and Junmyeon are the ones checking him and his suitcases in.
“This is more dramatic than kuya Minseok.” He says when he sees his friends all silently crying. “Lagi ba tayong ganito? Tuwing may aalis o mag e-enlist, iyakan?”
“I raised humans with feelings, Kyungja.” Junmyeon argues, pulling him into a hug. “I’m going to miss you. I’ll visit you when I can.”
“Dapat lang para may mapaglagyan ka naman ng cash mo.”
“I’ll visit with Kuya Junmyeon.” Sehun promises, peppering his favourite kuya with kisses on his face which makes Kyungsoo laugh.
“I love you, Kyungja.” Jongdae ruffles his hair when it was his turn. “So much.”
“Yeah? I love you too, Dae. Maghanap ka na ng jowa para hindi ka na third wheel kina Baek.”
“Sus, ang saya nya ngang third wheel, lagi siyang libre.” Baekhyun jokes, squeezing himself between Jongdae and Kyungsoo to get his turn. “Wag kang magpapaloko sa mga puti don ha.”
“Di ko naman type mga puti.” He kisses Baekhyun’s cheeks. “Wag kayong magbebreak ni Chanyeol ha. Siguradong mas madrama pa kayo samin.”
“Asa ka. Paguwi mo, bago tayo mag enlist, papakasalan ko na ‘yan.” Chanyeol grins, earning a playful punch from Baekhyun. He takes his hug from Kyungsoo, kissing the top of his head in fondness. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too. Visit me when you’re not busy ha? Bring Jongdae. Hanggang walang jowa ‘yan, anak nyo yan at ikaw—“ He removes himself from Chanyeol and faces Jongin who was (surprisingly) carrying his hand carry for him. “Ingatan mo ‘yang sarili mo. Malaki ka na. Halika nga dito.”
Jongin grabs him and Kyungsoo utters an oomph when his face hits Jongin’s shoulders.
“Magiingat ka don ha?” Jongin whispers. “Uuwi ka ha. I’ll see you soon.”
“Tell Jennie I said thank you for the other week, okay? Take Care. I’m going to miss you.”
Jongin sighs and it’s only Kyungsoo who hears. He presses a kiss on the older’s ear.
“Alis na nga ako.” He struggles but he manages to detach himself from Jongin. “Baka lalong di ako makaalis dahil sa inyong lahat eh. Magiingat kayo ha. Wag tatanga-tanga. Love ko kayo. Tetext ako kapag andun na ‘ko. Matuto kayong mag bukas ng group chat.”
Turns out, eighteen months do fly by like it’s nothing because before Kyungsoo knows it, he’s taken three vacations back home and he’s promoting for his first Hollywood movie. The entire EXO flies in to support him and he feels so, so loved. It feels like nothing has changed but at the same time, nothing is the same. The rest of the boys kept their promise and often visited him whether on set or in his hotel. At some point, Sehun seemed like he had no plans to leave until Kyungsoo bought him his plane ticket. Things were changing and Kyungsoo is thankful that at least the boys were changing with him. He extends his stay in the States for a couple more months to discuss new projects, a modelling contract, and two more films. By the time he goes back home, Minseok has been discharged from the military, looking rounder and more like a dumpling which makes Kyungsoo shriek in excitement because Kuya!!!!! Sobrang cute mo!!!!! And Minseok has to fight off the urge to put him in a headlock until he’s knocked out. The reunion doesn’t last very long because on the same day, Kyungsoo is asked to do a screen test and he doesn’t go home until a day later.
The moment he enters the door, sleepless and exhausted, Chanyeol is dragging him to his room.
“Get changed. Something decent.” He demands. He’s rummaging through Kyungsoo’s suitcase to find a clean, okay-smelling dress shirt. “Fast. Andun na sila.”
“Saan?” Kyungsoo asks, confused. “I’m confused. Kakauwi ko lang. Wala pa kong tulog.”
“You and I both, buddy. But you don’t see me complaining.” Chanyeol snaps, throwing a pair of slack to his direction. “Sorry, sorry. Sige na. Bawal akong malate. Bilisan mo na. Ako pa nagintay sayo dito.”
He does as he’s told because it seems like Chanyeol was going to pass out anytime soon. He doesn’t exit the room when Kyungsoo strips down his clothes nor does he pay attention. He’s just pacing back and forth and as soon as he sees Kyungsoo dressed, he drags him to his own car and drives away.
“I can’t believe I had to wait for you.” Chanyeol says, driving above the allowed speed. “Check mo nga lisensya ko kung nasa compartment.”
“Saan ba tayo pupunta—oh, here it is.” He takes Chanyeol’s wallet from the small space between them and slides the card in.
“What do you mean? Baek and I are registering our marriage today.” Chanyeol glares at him. “Nasa group chat mga two days ago.”
“I was on the plane two days ago and I was at work yesterday.”
“Okay but—okay, look. It was a spur of the moment thing. We just thought to register it and just have the official ceremony when we get discharged.”
“Fuck.” Kyungsoo says in amazement. “You guys are amazing.”
“And you’re late. I can’t believe I’m not there yet.”
“And you won’t be if we get pulled over. Drive slower.” Kyungsoo taps his shoulder to calm him down. It works. Kind of. “Spur of the moment? Who even proposed? How did this come about?”
“So, like, Baekhyun proposed and I was going to pero inunahan ako. The same day we just thought of registering the marriage and we asked kuya Junmyeon if we could but he said kuya Minseok will get mad if we don’t wait for him and you’ll probably throw a fit if you miss out on something like this so we waited—“
“You waited two days!”
“—two days and so yeah, we just need witnesses. Kuya Yixing went straight to the court house from the airport. As in need lang ng witness plus alam ko gusto nyong pictures tas ayun. Mag eenlist na tayo in like 5 months so might as well be married bago pa siya maagaw ng iba tapos cerem—“
“Chanyeol, huminga ka nga.” Kyungsoo cuts him off and laughs. “We’re almost there. Just breathe. I’m sure ayaw ni Baekhyun mamatayan ng aasawahin.”
“Listen,” Chanyeol huffs. “I wouldn’t be so agitated if you came earlier.”
“Oh, hush. I can’t believe ikakasal ka na. Andun na ba sila tita?” Kyungsoo asks. The question is left hanging in the air because as soon as they arrive, Chanyeol almost jumps off of the moving car. Kyungsoo apologizes profusely to the valet driver before sprinting to catch up to Chanyeol. They stop in front of two doors that had a sign with the word PRIVATE written in red. “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” Kyungsoo opens the door for him and their members, both Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s families are waiting for them. Baekhyun is talking to the presider and he freezes when he sees Chanyeol. He breaks into a smile when Chanyeol starts walking towards him. Pag-ibig nga naman, Kyungsoo thinks when he closes the door behind him.
“Late na ba si Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asks Jongdae. He sits at the last row next to Jongdae. “Kala ko papatayin niya na ko sa kotse.”
“Hindi pa pero muntik na din kabahan si Baekhyun kasi bakit ba daw ang tagal ninyo.”
“Wala naman nag sabi sakin na may ganito—oh, hi kuya Yixing!” He reaches for the person next to Jongdae. “Kiss kita mamaya.”
“Kumpleto na ba?” The presider asks. “Pwede nap o tayong magsimula kung kumple—“
“SORRY!” The door flies open with Jongin panting and sweaty. There’s a security guard behind him with a door lock who waves at the presider. The door locks again from the outside. Jongin is bent down with his hands on his thighs, trying to catch his breath. “Sobrang traffic galing sa East. I swear. Game ready na. Teka, hihinga lang ako.”
Kyungsoo can’t find a more fitting word than adorable when he looks at Jongin. He’s in a dark blue polo shirt, tucked in his black slacks with his favourite watch on his left hand and a bunch of flowers gripped on his other hand. His hair is slicked back with some strands left to hang on his forehead. He cleaned up well but he still looks absolutely adorable as he tries to find a steady thing to lean on.
“Kuyas, flowers.” Jongin jogs to the front. He hands both Chanyeol and Baekhyun flowers and kisses them both on the cheeks. The annoyance from his sudden arrival all gone now. “Pwede na kayo mag start.” He jokes, walking to the back to avoid any more weird looks. He stops when he sees Kyungsoo—not even Kyungsoo looking at him, holding back his laughter, just Kyungsoo. He looks every bit of tired, having no makeup on his face but he still looks handsome. The front of his dress shirt tucked in and the back hanging loosely. Jongdae is slowly tucking in the back part and Kyungsoo makes no move to stop him. He’s just looking at Jongin—in all his sweaty glory—with a stupid grin on his face like he’s just seen him for the first time in his life.
“Hi.” Jongin stands next to him and Yixing moves to another chair, then Jongdae, then Kyungsoo so he could have a seat. “You’re back.”
“I am. Yesterday but I had to work tapos Chanyeol dragged me to here—Hi kuya Minseok!” He sees Minseok giving him a weird smile on the other side. He waves and then rolled his eyes. “So here I am. I mean, here we are, watching our best friends get married.”
“Yeah.” Jongin looks in front where the presider is still looking for some papers. Start, my ass. “You look good. Older. Manlier.”
“Wow. Napaka landi naman. Kayo na ba ang susunod dito? May pila ba?” Jongdae butts in, shaking his head at the two of them. “Mamaya na kayo mag catch up. Magsisimula na.”
“Di ko kaya siya nilalandi baka may girlfriend ‘yan eh.” Kyungsoo jokes, widening his eyes at Jongin. Although he’s heard from Baekhyun that Jongin’s been single for a while, he needs the confirmation from the man’s mouth.
“Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Ang lungkot nga kasi wala ako nun eh.” An equally cheeky Jongin beams.
“Ako din wala pero shine-share ko ba?” Jongdae sighs dramatically. “Shut up so Sehun can start.”
Sehun starts playing guitar on the side and a familiar tune of Elvis Presley’s Can’t Help Falling In Love arranged in what seemed like a tempo that will go on forever starts to play. Junmyeon starts to sing and the presider begins the ceremony. From the outside, everything seems so simple. There were no attempts to put decorations in the place but they were complete and they were all so happy to witness a love come together. All the boys were in crumpled polos and dress shirts. Perhaps Baekhyun and Chanyeol sprung this upon them like Chanyeol did to Kyungsoo. Their parent are crying and their siblings are taking photos. The room feels more intimate and the atmosphere more solemn. Kyungsoo feels a burst of excitement in his chest. They were nearing a decade as EXO and the two soon-to-be married couple were nearing their ninth year. He thinks of the many things they’ve went through to get to where they are now, Kyungsoo was among the witnesses of how strong their love was.
Jongin bumps his hip against him breaking him away from his thoughts.
“Sabihan mo ko pag iiyak ka para ma-picture-an ko.” He teases.
“You wish.” Kyungsoo makes a face and watches two of his best friends slide their rings in each other’s fingers.
If things went okay, would they be in the same position now? Would he and Jongin be married too? Maybe. No one will ever know. A part of him knows that things are better this way. He was a different person now and so much has changed. Jongin probably has too. They don’t talk for the rest of the ceremony because the two of them started crying before they could tease each other. When the presider announces Chanyeol and Baekhyun as husbands, they all shameless cry harder while clapping harder.
“Oh my god, parang tanga.” Kyungsoo says to himself as he sobs. Jongin takes one look at him and chuckles, throwing his arm around Kyungsoo and pulling him to his shoulder. Kyungsoo nuzzles his face into his neck—force of habit, he thinks—and stays there for a solid thirty seconds before Jongdae makes a weird noise behind them.
“Picture na daw! Ano ba kayong dalawa.” He pushes the two of them out of the way and Yixing taps both of their butts as he follows Jongdae. Kyungsoo straighten himself, wiping his tears. Jongin thinks he’s the most beautiful he’s ever been. “PICTURE NA DAW JONGIN, KYUNGSOO!”
“Oo nga! Sandali lang. Nagpupunas pa ng uhog si Kyungsoo.”
“Kapal ng mukha mo. Mas mapula ka sakin.” Kyungsoo retorts, handing him a tissue as well.
Jongin shakes his head. He doesn’t take the tissue. He takes his hand instead. Kyungsoo freezes in his spot in surprise but Jongin tugs him to move before Jongdae shouts at them again. With intertwined fingers, they walk in front to commemorate Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Kyungsoo thinks that it should be weird. They haven’t seen each other in a while and yet he was so, so comfortable holding his hand. When they stop to their places, Jongin doesn’t let go. Neither does he. They share a glance, knowing smiles on their faces—no more sadness, no more fear, no more pain. Kyungsoo squeezes his hand and Jongin squeezes back.
“Isa pa! Wacky naman.” Chanyeol’s cousin, the one taking the photo, says.
Kyungsoo stands up properly and Jongin removes their hands to wrap his arms around his waist. He leanes comfortably against the younger, his mouth nearly pressed against his ear.
“Wacky daw. Hindi prom.” Minseok tells them, laughing when he sees their position. “Joke lang. Wacky na ‘yan. Funny kayong dalawa.”
Kyungsoo sticks his tongue out at his older brother before making himself comfortable against Jongin. The latter presses a kiss to his ear. There’s so much to talk about and so much to catch up. So much to clear up and so much to discuss but this, right in this moment—even without talking they both know, this is right.
“Love mo pa ba ‘ko?” Jongin asks.
“Pagiisipan ko.”
“GRA—“ CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
It was a photo to remember. The wackiest of the wackiest. Kyungsoo uses it as their engagement announcement photo two years later—Jongin’s arm on his waist with a surprised, almost whining look on his face. Kyungsoo’s grinning, the happiest he’s ever been.
He wouldn’t have it any other way.
fin.