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Link to artwork that inspired the story:
[2011]
The grass was still wet from the previous night’s rainstorm as Lawrence left the cement walkway to make his way across the city park. The meet was scheduled for eight am, which left him plenty of breathing room to make his way across town to get to his desk in time to start another dull day full of paper pushing in his lonely cubicle on the fourth floor of the Baker Building. He didn’t see a soul as he tromped through the grass, the rubber soles of his black dress shoes occasionally giving out a squeak as he went along. The cuffs of his gray trousers were getting damp, but he didn’t care, no one would ever notice, no one from the outside world ever came up to the fourth floor. There were playground and picnic areas on the far side of the grounds, but this end of the park was less utilized, left more natural by city planners. It was a favorite area for the city’s birdwatchers and wanna-be nature photographers. There was less chance of being interrupted by a passerby over here, which is probably why the spot had been chosen for the meeting place.
He still didn’t know whom it was he was supposed to be meeting, but the message had said he would recognize his contact. The electronic voice that had spoken to him on the phone had said the proper code phrase identifying the message as coming from someone at Stargate Command, though there had been no information given other than the time, date and GPS coordinates for the meeting. Lawrence had wavered about even coming. That life was behind him, he had left it behind along with his entire identity. He was almost used to thinking of himself as Lawrence now, had almost completely bought into his own cover story. He was retired, so this wasn’t anything official or he would have been summoned through regular channels, called into the SGC for a face for face with someone. He wasn’t obligated to act, he could have ignored the electronic summons, skipped the meeting and carried on with his mundane day, working at a job he didn’t exactly hate, but one that left him completely unfulfilled. However, the idea of always wondering what the missed meeting had been about and whom it had been with had been too much to bear, and his natural curiosity had led him to the rain soaked park on a dreary Monday morning.
There was a random patch of crocus in the grass. Walking over towards the flowers, he paused to stare down at the purple and white blooms. There were still raindrops on the petals. He crouched down, peering closer, his artist’s eye drawn to the color and shine, though he had not drawn or painted in years. That was another part of his old life he had let drop away; his art. Memories flooded over him, other flowers, wet from a storm, petals glistening with gem-like drops, leaves wet and shining green. Memories of exploring an alien garden, rambling along strangely manicured trails, trying to keep up with his overexcited botanist... No! He didn’t have time for this. Those memories belonged in the past.
He stood up quickly and resumed his walk towards the bridge. After getting the message a few days earlier, he had gone to the GPS coordinates to check out the rendezvous point, a bridge over the brook that ran through the park. It seemed like an innocuous enough spot.
He was early. It was only 7:45, which gave him time to circle the area and look for anyone or anything that might be surveilling the meet. Not that he had anything invested in this situation, but it couldn’t hurt to be cautious. He hated ambushes. He especially hated them when he was unarmed, as he always was these days - paper pushing at Racoff Jevonovich didn’t require a sidearm, concealed or otherwise. He had considered digging out and strapping his 9mm to his ankle, but in the end he figured anyone meaning him serious harm probably wouldn’t have gone to the trouble to leave him a high-level security encoded message inviting him to come and get it.
He paced casually back and forth over the bridge, waiting for the arrival of his contact. Leaning against the bridge support posts wasn’t an option, he didn’t want to get his work clothes soaked from the wet railing. His coworkers had been grousing and complaining all week about the run of damp weather. Lawrence couldn’t bring himself to hate the storms, even though rain in particular always brought back the memories he tried so hard to suppress, the regrets he felt for things he had never said, the pain of not knowing what he might have had, if he had garnered the courage to speak up. It also overwhelmed him with guilt for what he had been unable to do, the unfinished business he had in a galaxy far away.
The gravel of the path crunched behind him and Lawrence turned, his woolgathering forgotten. At the sight of the man approaching, a slow smile crept onto his face, he couldn’t help himself and didn’t bother trying to stop it. He gave a low laugh and shook his head as he took in the sweats and sneakers his contact was wearing. Even with a baseball cap covering his distinctive hair and dark glasses, he easily recognized the man. “You’re out of uniform.”
“I’m on vacation. And undercover.” John Sheppard smiled as he came forward and held his hand out. “Good to see you Lor... uhm, Mister Evans.”
“You too, it’s been too long.” He clasped Sheppard’s hand. “You look the about same, how’s things?”
With a wry smile, Sheppard shrugged. When he answered, Sheppard kept his words vague, just in case anyone was listening, to keep Lawrence’s cover identity intact. “More of the same. Dodging bad guys at work, dodging the press at home. I’m supposed to say hello from our mutual Czech friend.”
Radek. He hadn’t seen him since he had left the base that last time. Right up until the last minute, Zelenka had been at him not to leave, to stay in Colorado. Lorne couldn’t be swayed, something had gone out of him when he’d lost his team back in Pegasus, his spirit of exploration had been squelched. He had not been able to bring himself to take on an Earth-based team with the SGC full-time, though the opportunity had been offered. After a few months of going on missions out of the SGC, he had decided to hang up his boots and retire. “How’s he doing?”
“He never changes. How’s life in corporate America?” Sheppard gave his business suit and dress shoes the once over with a humorous twinkle in his eye. Colonel Sheppard was one of the few that knew where Lorne had been placed, and his cover identity.
Standing there talking with Sheppard felt familiar, and the intervening years seemed to melt away. He felt like Evan Lorne again, not stiff, humdrum Lawrence Evans. His former commanding officer was part of his old life, which he’d given up and thought was behind him. He’d gone into Stargate Command’s version of witness protection, a necessity for most of the high profile officers once the Stargate program had undergone full public disclosure. Major Evan Lorne became the civilian Lawrence Evans, and had settled into a comfortable, safe life - or thought he had. “I’m bored out of my mind,” the words spilled out before he thought about them or could stop himself.
His confession made Sheppard smirk. “Enough to consider coming back? I need someone with your particular expertise for a venture I’m putting together.”
Evan crossed his arms. “And what expertise would that be?”
“Oh, sweeping in and rescuing the situation, for the most part. Doing any paperwork I can manage to sneak into your inbox. Jumping puddles.”
For security reasons, the puddle jumpers had been completely grounded and kept top secret, had not been made part of the public disclosure. They’d been mothballed on Atlantis, which had been based on the moon until her final fate could be decided by the SGC. Her fate had been a hotbed of argument and contention ever since arriving on Earth, played out for all it was worth by the media. What was Sheppard trying to tell him? After giving it some thought, he asked, “Does this venture involve Pegasus?”
“I can neither confirm nor deny rumors to anyone not already in the know, Mister Evans,” Sheppard drawled, emphasizing his civilian status. “But if you were to agree to come aboard, I would advise you to pack for a very, very long trip. Accommodations would be provided, the same ones you had when we worked together previously, if you like.”
Yes, it was Pegasus. The decision had been made, Atlantis was going back. He hadn’t had another chance to search for his missing team before all the chaos that led to Atlantis leaving the Pegasus Galaxy. If he went back, he might be able to find them or at the very least find out their fate; Cadman, Stackhouse and Parrish were all still listed as MIA. He had refused to believe them dead, but there hadn’t been time to mount a full search for them, everything had happened so quickly in those last days.
“I left some things behind, things quite precious to me. I would need to know I would be given the time and resources to try to locate them, otherwise you can count me out of the project, I won’t go.”
“I figured as much. That particular search would be a main priority, with the full backing of my office. I have questions I want answered as well.” Sheppard gave a nod, his expression serious. “I understand how you feel.” He would, they had been his people as well. He knew it had to rankle on Sheppard as well, leaving people behind.
This new life he’d made here suddenly seemed like a facade, merely a place to hide out from the roving press and the responsibilities of his past. If he went back, he could find closure, he could truly move on and not simply exist from day to day. He could shed some of the guilt he felt for taking the easy way out here on Earth. Finding his team was a purpose, something he had been lacking since returning to Earth and leaving the SGC. He had thought by not thinking about the past, he could move on, but in truth, he had just been treading water, wallowing in a state of status quo.
“What do I need to sign to get the ball rolling?” he asked Sheppard.
[2012]
Lorne was feeling a different kind of excitement than others in the city once Atlantis had successfully been piloted back to Pegasus and landed on the planet where the Athosians had been settled prior to their exodus. Their mission parameters were different this trip. This mission was about setting up for eventual colonization, the goal to start the process for setting up Earth colonies to help alleviate the overpopulation on the homeworld, once the wraith situation had been dealt with once and for all. Now that the Stargate program had been made public, there was no shortage of adventurous volunteers for the task.
But for Evan, first and foremost it was all about getting out there to find his team, to do what he had been unable to do four years earlier. Since the landing, he had been working on autopilot, forcing himself to focus on the tasks at hand until Sheppard could let him leave the city. As soon as he found himself without anything of a pressing priority to do, he requested a meeting with Sheppard.
Before Evan could even state the reason he had asked for the meeting, he was waved into the office. and towards a seat. “You’ll need a team; did you have anyone in mind?” Sheppard tossed a rubber stress ball into the air and caught it a few times as he rocked back in his chair. As usual, his casual air was a front, Lorne knew the colonel was just as worn out and frazzled as the rest of the expedition after the pressures of resettlement. There had been a lot of heavy lifting and very little sleep going around the base.
“I thought of requesting Lieutenant Johnson, I worked with him at the SGC, he’s pretty good in a firefight.” Evan shifted in his seat, his back was bugging him, he had been moving equipment and hauling crates of supplies and ordnance around the base for days. It seemed to him that he had been a lot younger the first time he had come to Pegasus, he didn’t remember being this sore; he was getting old.
Sheppard nodded with approval at his choice. “Radek?”
Shaking his head, Lorne replied “You need him here. And he isn’t cut out for recon missions. I was thinking Sergeant Alvarez, he’s shown he can handle himself in the field. I’d rather have a medic than an astrophysicist for a search party, just in case.”
Another nod. “I want you to take Ronon. I want someone at your back that I trust implicitly, Lorne.” Evan was surprised; Ronon had always been part of Sheppard’s team. He wouldn’t have ventured to ask to poach the Pegasus native for his mission, this was a bonus he hadn’t anticipated. Sheppard was indeed keeping his word about giving him the support he needed to do this. His surprise must have shown on his face because Sheppard smirked and added, “Not for keeps. It’s gonna be a while before I’m ready or able to handle any away missions and take my team out, and the big guy gets bored.”
“When can I go?”
“Depends. How is progress on the jumper maintenance?”
Evan sighed mildly. “I sent you a report.” When Sheppard rolled his eyes, Lorne sighed again. Why did he bother writing reports if they didn’t get read? “Progress is good. We’ve done dry runs with half the jumper fleet. No noteworthy problems so far.”
“Then is tomorrow too soon?”
Evan figured he was probably smiling in a manner not entirely appropriate to the situation. “No sir!” This was even better than he had anticipated.
“Organize your team and put the mission on the schedule. Where do you plan to start?”
“Well, Oolark was our fall back rendezvous, I figured I’d start with that, just in case they made it there after finding the Alpha site deserted. I checked there once, but that was only the day after we lost touch with M14-209, I hoped they made it there after we left.”
“Sounds good. Watch your back, and try not to inadvertently get involved in the Wraith’s civil war. The less stirring up we do, the better.”
Piloting the jumper through the gate felt to Evan like slipping on a comfortable old shirt. When the ramp settled down into the mud, Evan looked out and surveyed the wet landscape as he zipped his tac vest all the way up. Ronon gave an indecipherable grunt and brushed past him, unperturbed by the weather as he stepped out into the streaming rain and raised his face to the sky and smiled as he took a deep breath. When Lorne had approached him to ask him to temporarily join his search team, the Satedan had grinned widely and nodded enthusiastically at the chance to leave the city.
“Ugh, I hate rain!” Johnson griped as he followed Alvarez down the ramp.
“Rain makes the plants grow,” Evan responded automatically. He pushed the memory of someone else saying the same aside as he closed the jumper’s back hatch. “Everyone remember where we parked!” he quipped as he initialized the cloaking field and their transport shimmered into invisibility.
Alvarez was waggling his GPS and pointing. “The main settlement is off to the south. My team’s rendezvous coordinates are two clicks to the north.” Ronon gave another grunt and stomped off towards the north, his boots splashing in puddles. Letting Ronon take the lead, Evan followed his team, taking the rear position. He wanted everyone where he could see them, he was not taking any chances on losing another team in the field.
“Stupid mud. Rain sucks,” Johnson was muttering as his boots squelched in the soft reddish clay of Oolark. “Mud everywhere.”
“Rain makes the plants grow,” Evan caught himself saying again, and this time the memories washed over him and he didn’t try to stop them. There was time to let his mind wander a little, it was a long walk to their destination. He could afford to wallow in the past, he was finally doing something about the situation.
[2007]
“I hate rain!” Evan muttered as he leaned against the post supporting the roof of the structure where his team had taken refuge from the sudden storm, the only structure they had found near the Gate on M25-247. Stackhouse and Cadman were sitting by the far wall, taking advantage of the break to have an impromptu lunch in one of the few dry spots in the area.
Doctor Parrish laughed and slapped his shoulder as they stared out at the deluge. “Don’t hate the rain, Major. Rain makes the plants grow. And we need plants, we’re here for plants.”
“So sayeth the botanist. At least it isn’t cold.” He watched Parrish as the scientist crossed to the table where he had set up a temporary lab to catalogue and study the plant samples they were collecting. They had hopes that they could find the particular plant that supposedly cured a sickness that was spreading from planet to planet in this sector. Some of their personnel had caught the bug and their medical staff was desperate to find the rumored cure. The rain was hampering their search, but Parrish seemed unperturbed. He was humming as he perched on the edge of the table and began to prepare a slide.
When Lorne had first been assigned the botanist to his team, he had been less than thrilled. David Parrish had a habit of becoming distracted while out in the field, enthralled by the local flora. Over time, Lorne and the others had grown used to their scientist’s wandering ways and had developed methods of coping with him and reigning him in. His enthusiasm for exploring, his easy manner and his skills as a botanist more than made up for his lack of attention to security and field protocol.
Despite his resolve to stay detached, Evan found himself more and more drawn to the slightly flighty scientist. He was easy to like; friendly, genuine, caring. When he was around him, Evan couldn’t help but be drawn into the man’s love of his work. The more he got to know him, because Parrish was open and talkative, the more Evan liked him. And that made it more difficult not to notice him in ways he couldn’t act upon, not in his current position, with regulations as they were.
“This is interesting,” Parrish called. “Where did you say you found this sample, Major? The location isn’t noted on the container.” Parrish glanced over his shoulder at Evan with a mild frown of disapproval for the slip in procedure. The doctor was quite serious about his science and proper sample and data collection procedures.
Pushing off the post, Evan walked over to look at the striped leaves still remaining in the collection container. “There wasn’t time to mark that batch, the skies opened up on us. Those came from grid location seven alpha. I remember where I found them, they’re the only ones with that purplish stripe.” With one finger, he tapped the map on the clipboard set on the table beside a stack of collection containers.
The botanist gave a muffled ‘harumph’ and looked into his microscope again. “This one shows some promise, it has many of the attributes Doctor Beckett expected us to find in the plant the Iborians told us about. We should go out and collect some full plants, with roots.” He straightened up, zipped his jacket, grabbed his pack and started towards the open doorway.
“What? Right now?” Lorne asked, as he realized Parrish meant to go out into the rain.
“Yes, please show me where you found the sample,” Parrish was out in the rain now, the water quickly flattening his hair down and dripping down his face as he pulled the straps of his pack over his shoulders. He didn’t seem to notice the weather. He pointed in the direction Lorne and the others had come from earlier. “That way?”
With a sigh, Evan nodded. He zipped his own jacket and turned to look back over his shoulder. “Stackhouse, I’m going with Parrish up the hill towards that totem pole thing we found. You guys stay here, unless you want to go sloshing in the mud?”
“No thanks Major, the mud is all yours,” Stackhouse grinned and gave a jaunty salute. “We’ll check in on the hour.”
“Hey, Parrish, wait up!” Evan called as he jogged out into the rain to follow his scientist. The black uniform cap he wore was soon soaked through and he could feel the rain water dripping down the back of his neck. It could be worse, he reasoned, it could be cold rain.
He caught up to Parrish and moved around him, taking the lead on the path. It was unwise for Evan to walk behind him, it seemed like Parrish wore his khakis tighter these days than he had when he had first joined Evan’s team. The view was too tempting for a man fighting his urges in an attempt to remain professional. He figured Parrish would be focused enough on the plant they were going to collect to wander away somewhere if Evan wasn’t herding him along.
“This reminds me of college.”
“Trudging through an alien forest in a monsoon? How so, Doc?”
“This is not a monsoon, don’t exaggerate. I’ve been in a monsoon, and this is nothing like that. I did a semester abroad in South America, working on a cancer research project. This planet is a bit like the tropics I visited. Different plants of course, but a wet jungle has a distinctive scent. I have a very active scent memory, you know. The biggest difference is that this place is blessedly free of the biting insects that infest the jungles back home. I like it here, don’t you?” He was smiling happily when Evan looked over his shoulder at him. Evan quickly looked back around, making eye contact with Parrish for too long was dangerous; it made Evan think things he shouldn’t.
The optimistic enthusiasm was contagious. Lorne pushed aside his damp discomfort and focused instead of the myriad shades of green around him. Before the rain had started, he had noticed some wild colors and taken snapshots of some of the unusual flowers as references for painting later. Nothing was actively trying to kill them for a change, they were making progress on their mission objective, and he was alone with David Parrish. “Yeah, I like it here, Doc,” Evan admitted.
The sound of the raindrops hitting the broad fronds of the lush plants around them made a soothing rhythm as they hiked through the tropical forest. Their progress had taken them upwards, a slow incline up a hillside that looked out over a valley at the peak. The grid vector they were heading towards was at the hilltop.
Parrish scooted around him to examine a cluster of blooms hanging from a tree. “Careful, Doc, the ground is getting slick,” Lorne cautioned as he felt his boot slide slightly. “I don’t want to have to carry you back to base camp. That would suck.”
“No worries, I’ve feet like a mountain goat!” Parrish replied and walked off again.
He’d jinxed them, there was no other explanation. One moment he was looking at Parrish’s backside, the next, straight up at the sky as his back hit the ground and he began to slide down the hill.
“Damn it!” he bellowed as low lying fronds began to slap at him as he picked up speed. He tried grabbing at leaves to slow himself down, but the wet blades slipped right through his hands. It was like going down a slide at a water park, the mud version. He didn’t think he and Parrish had gone quite so far up the hill, but his swift journey down was proving they had made good progress to the top. He finally slowed when his butt and back hit a patch of rock, which tore through his jacket and the shirt underneath. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was looking up at the sky, then feeling a pain at the back of his head.
“Major! Major Lorne. Evan, come on, open your eyes! Evan, please. Please don’t be dead, Evan,” the tone was pleading. Evan could feel hands roving over his body, then a wet palm on his face, patting lightly.
“I’m awake, Mom. I’m up,” he mumbled, not yet ready to open his eyes.
“Oh, thank God. I thought you were in a coma or something, you wouldn’t wake up. Where does it hurt?”
Everywhere. “I’m okay, I think. I’m wet.”
“It’s raining.”
Evan took a few calming breaths as he tried to assess how badly he might be injured. He felt a mild twinge in his ankle and everything from his head to his toes was sore, but nothing seemed broken, which was a relief. His legs seemed fine. He bent his knees and carefully pushed to raise his butt off the rocks slightly. He felt pressure on his hips as he tried to move them and opened his eyes to check why. Parrish was straddling him, butt resting on his belly, hunched forward and staring down into Evan’s eyes. David’s hands were resting, palms down, on Evan’s chest. He could feel the botanist’s warm breath on his face as he breathed heavily, looking at him with an expression of extreme concern.
This was like something out of Evan’s hottest fantasies. It was also not supposed to be happening. “What are you doing?”
“I thought I might have to do CPR. I was checking if you were breathing.”
“I’m breathing. I think I’m fine, Doc.” Evan reached up and grasped Parrish’s arms, to push him off so he could get up. Before he could do that, Parrish leaned in closer, his hands sliding up to cup Evan’s cheeks.
“You scared the crap out of me. You could have been dead. Right in front of my eyes and I couldn’t do anything about it.” Worry showed clearly in Parrish’s eyes, then his emotions shifted suddenly. Lorne couldn’t look away. He didn’t react at first when David suddenly pressed warm lips to his. He had been pretty sure David liked him, but he hadn’t been able to act on it, it wouldn’t have been fair, nothing could come of it: Evan was career military. But it felt so freaking wonderful to have someone’s lips on his, especially David’s lips. He let it happen, let himself enjoy the moment. Evan let his hands slide up Parrish’s arms and neck to clasp his face as he began kissing him back in earnest.
A sharp, searing pain at the back of his head as Parrish moved his hands there shocked Evan back to reality. He grabbed Parrish’s shoulders as he had originally intended to do and gently eased him back, breaking the kiss. “We can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry, but no.” He wanted to, so very much. But his career choice meant denying this part of himself, living a different lifestyle than the one he wanted, being alone.
“Right, of course, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Flustered, Parrish leapt up and backed away from him, refusing to meet Evan’s eyes. “I’m pretty sure no one saw us.”
Sitting up, Evan’s head was throbbing. As he gingerly pressed his fingers to the source of the ache, he replied, “I’m pretty sure our teammates wouldn’t say anything if they had.” He had lost his hat somewhere in the fall.
As he started to stand, Parrish quickly moved to help him, taking his elbow. His voice held a tremble as he asked, “Do you hate me now, Major? I really shouldn’t have done that.”
“No, of course I don’t hate you, you’re my friend, David. But it can’t be more than friendship. That can’t happen again, okay?”
His expression blank, Parrish replied in a hollow voice, “Okay, I understand. Shall we go up and collect that specimen or go back to the base camp?”
Other than a ton of mud caking his BDUs, a dull ache from the bump on his head and a twinge in his ankle, he wasn’t hurt, so Lorne figured he was good enough to continue. “Let’s try this again.” He pointed up the hill in the direction of the alien totem pole.
Parrish nodded heavily, some of the spring gone from his step and all his earlier enthusiasm vanished. Evan felt like he’d just kicked a puppy.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” David chided himself as he put a little more distance between himself and the major. The man was off-limits, he had always been off-limits, despite any romantic longings David might have otherwise. He supposed he was lucky he hadn’t been belted in the mouth for daring to make an advance on the soldier. He knew guys that had gotten much worse for a lot less. His friend Phil had been jumped and thrashed to within an inch of his life just for daring to throw a ‘come hither’ look at a sailor in a bar once.
For a brief moment, he could have sworn Evan had been kissing him back. And his rejection hadn’t exactly been one made out of disgust for the pass David had made, had it? Trudging through the mud, picking his steps more carefully to avoid another fall, his mind raced as he replayed what Evan had said. “We can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry, but no.” Not “Get off me!” It had been a denial, for both of them, a hard denial.
They walked in silence for a long time, David walking ahead so he didn’t have to look at Evan. He ducked to avoid a wet, leafy branch. The rain had not tapered off in the slightest, it was still coming down steadily. Even the normally soothing sounds of droplets hitting foliage were not enough to calm David’s raging emotions and self-recriminations. He had valued the friendship and camaraderie he had developed with the major, treasured it enough to put his physical attractions in a box and stash it far out of his own reach - or so he had thought before today’s idiocracy. He could have ruined everything! For one stupid, thoughtless kiss, he could have destroyed the relationship that had taken years to build. The major could have booted him off the team, consigned him to the lonely labs on Atlantis, where he would have had to content himself with studying whatever the away teams thought to bring back with them from their travels. He never would have thought his three best friends would have been military personnel, and that he would be part of a team, but here he was, and he treasured it.
The trail ended and they came out of the forest into a small clearing. The alien totem pole, for lack of a better description, rose to a height of fifteen feet at the center. Ordinarily, such a sight would have excited David, and derailed any train of thought he had going, but not this time. He was still replaying the feel of Evan’s body under his, the touch of his hands, the surprising softness of his lips as they touched. Once the panic over seeing Evan fall and then lie so still had subsided, David was left with what had happened after to dwell upon.
Evan had kissed him back, the more David replayed the moments in his head, the more he began to believe what he wanted had be so. Evan’s hands had been on David’s cheeks and they had both been participating in that kiss. For the space of a few heartbeats, the object of his deepest affections had been willing, hadn’t he? David was confused, and he didn’t like being confused, it made him grumpy and he hated being grumpy, it went against his nature. He needed to know if he had been imagining things, maybe he was already rewriting the way things had happened so that he could live with his mistake.
“Can I ask you a question, if I promise not to pry deeply?” he called out, without turning around to look at his companion, standing behind him. He couldn’t bear to watch the major’s expressions, it would have hurt to see anger, disgust or irritation directed at him.
There was a long pause, long enough to make David wonder if he had been heard, before Evan replied, “The answer to a question you aren’t supposed to ask me is yes, if you were going to ask.”
He glanced around to see that Evan was watching him, looking just as miserable as David felt. “I wasn’t going to ask that, not in so many words, although I appreciate you not exactly telling me.” Two could play that game that military people played when they danced around the subject at hand. “My question was, did you kiss me back?”
“I didn’t mean to!” Evan blurted. “I shouldn’t have, it wasn’t fair to you.”
“I started it, it was entirely my fault. I just wanted to know.” His question answered and his mind put at ease, David cleared his throat and gestured with a broad swing of his arm at the forest around the clearing. “Now, where did you say you found that specimen?” He tried hard to put on a professional air, to get them back to where they had been before Evan had fallen and he had nearly ruined everything by making a move on his friend.
A look of relief passed over Lorne’s face as he realized what David was clearly attempting to do. He tossed his chin in the direction of the totem pole. “Over there, right between the reddish bug eyed face and the froggy-face guy.”
“Are those the technical terms for the alien artifact, major?”
“They are today. Froggy-face, Asgard-ie face, snake-face, bug eyed face, if there were actually any people here to ask about it, I suppose we could. Cadman has a theory that the carvings represent the four directional winds, since they are each turned towards a perfect compass point. She took a ton of pictures for the anthropology team. I doubt they will appreciate the ones with Stackhouse mugging for the camera, mimicking the faces.”
Walking around the pole, David touched his fingers to the carving. “Where are the people, do you suppose?”
“Culled by the Wraith, most likely. This might have been a ceremonial spot, chosen for its proximity to the Gate. We could probably find signs of habitation if we looked. I’ll mark this place in our database for a more intense exploration later, it might be a suitable fall back location for a beta site.”
“Too wet. Judging by the plant and tree growth, I would venture to say that it rains here most of the time. We’ve already experienced the instability of the ground, I think camping here for an extended period of time might be miserable for most of the expedition. Maybe this was just a ceremonial site, maybe there was no one ever actually living here and they just came from some other planet to visit because there was easy access by Gate.” David didn’t like to think about the fates of the people that the Wraith had culled on the planets they visited. It filled him with sorrow, dread and a bit of fear. He preferred to think that any indigenous people had left the planet by choice.
Apparently, the major understood how he felt and was willing to play along. “Maybe. An anthropologist would know better. The place where we set up our base could have been a staging area, for whatever procession or ceremony was going to happen; it is pretty close to the stargate.”
The specimen wasn’t hard to locate, there was a large patch of the plant, striped leaves heavy with moisture, shining up at them, even in the dull light of the storm tossed day. David crouched down, his small spade in hand, and began to carefully dig around to remove some of the plants. “There’s plenty here, I’m sure I can take a bunch without affecting the rest of the patch. Hopefully they’re hardy and we don’t have a problem propagating them back in the lab.”
“We just need the leaves for the tea the Iborians gave Doctor Beckett the recipe to make, right, Doc?”
“Yeah, but better safe than sorry, we should have some on hand, just in case we need it again, so I want to take the plants and not just leaves.” He dug into the pocket of his vest and brought out a quart sized self sealing plastic sample bag. “While I get these, would you mind filling that with leaves, please.”
“Sure.” Lorne took the sample bag and crouched beside him. “How much of the stem should I leave on, Doc?”
David glanced over and Lorne held up the first leaf he had snapped off. “That looks good, an inch or so of the stem should be sufficient.” They worked in silence. As Evan picked leaves, David dug out the small plants and carefully bundled the roots and slipped each plant and a few handfuls of the native soil into an individual plastic bag. By the time Lorne announced that he had filled his sample bag, David had all his samples lined up beside him on the ground, ready to go.
“Let me get two more, I still have two baggies left.” Humming, he leaned over to reach for the last plant and lost his balance. “Whoa!” he exclaimed as his spade went flying and he tried to regain his balance and avoid crushing the plants.
Strong hands caught him under the arms and pulled him backwards, easily righting him. Evan’s hands were on him again. They stayed on him as he got to his feet, slowly sliding to rest on his hips as he turned. There was heat in Evan’s eyes as he looked up into David’s face. “I... oh, hell, just once more.” His hands were on David’s face, pulling him down as Evan slammed their lips together.
Purposeful was so much better than accidental. David closed his eyes and let out a small whimper as he heartily returned the kiss, flailing his hands for a moment before letting them fall onto Evan’s shoulders. A touch of tongue, a scrape of teeth, and the soft slide of lips before David opened and let Evan deepen the kiss. If this was only going to happen this once, David intended to remember every moment of it and make the most of the opportunity. He committed every touch and feel to memory, wanting to be able to call it up again.
It had to end eventually, and David let Evan be the one to break away. Evan’s emotions were bare, easy to read for a few moments, more open than David had ever seen him. This was what Evan Lorne kept hidden from everyone all the time. Then, like a switch being flipped, his expression began to change as reality closed in. David touched his fingertips to Evan’s cheeks. “Stop. Just, stop. I can see what you’re doing to yourself, and I understand, but stop beating yourself up over it. You’re human, Evan, and humans have needs.”
He looked miserable, standing there. His hair plastered down by the rain, breathing heavily as he evidently fought to regain some modicrum of self control. “I want... but...”
“I know. Maybe someday, if things change, we can see where this might go. We have this, though, to remember, right?” David stroked Evan’s cheek once before letting his his hands drop away. “I won’t push, we don’t ever have to talk about it, if it makes it easier for you, okay? We’re friends and we ‘re team and that’s the most important thing, I don’t want to do anything that ruins that.”
“Okay, yeah. I’m sorry,” Evan whispered.
“Don’t be. We go on as before, friends. And maybe someday, something more?” It was something to hope for, to dream about, something David had not had before today.
“Maybe,” Evan agreed with a tremulous smile.
Using his best, though quite horrible, Humphrey Bogart voice, David pointed behind Evan and quipped, “We’ll always have totem.”
“You’re such a goofball.”
“Ha! Made you smile, Major. You know, I think we should watch Casablanca for movie night.”
“You know Cadman would not go along with that in a million years, not enough explosions to suit her tastes. Let’s collect the plants, Doc. We should head back.”
After collecting the specimens and stowing them safely in his messenger bag, David gave a last look around, committing the place to memory. He was glad Cadman had taken photos, he intended to grab one from the report, though he doubted he would forget any detail of the day.
Their walk down the hill was uneventful, each of them lost in thought. David smiled as he heard Evan quietly humming “Singing in the Rain.” He wondered if the tune was a conscious thought on his companion’s part.
[2008, just prior to the events of the episode “Enemy at the Gate”]
“Doctor Parrish, I’m here to help you pack up. We have a dial out scheduled for sixteen hundred hours.”
With a heavy sigh, David looked up from the tiny seedlings he was transferring into a packing crate for transport to Atlantis to see one of their military escorts standing a few feet away. He shook his head in denial of the message. “Oh, no. The meteorologists said the storm would hit tomorrow. I planned to work through the night getting everything together. I’m not ready yet. I still have to go out to section one three three to collect two very important samples to take back. We cannot possibly leave without them.”
“Sorry, Doctor Parrish, but according to the head weather guy, Doctor Fields, the storm intensity has changed. He said they’re already seeing spikes in the radiation and heat signatures indicating fires breaking out all over the continent. They moved up our departure. We have to go, we’re out of time. The whole research team is leaving, this planet is about to get too hot for us.” The young man had come over and helped David seal the top of the crate and carry it over to a waiting pile.
“I have to go get those samples. Please understand, this is months of work, I can’t just abandon everything!” David tugged his hair in frustration and looked around at all that still had to be done, assessing what he could sacrifice for the sake of getting those plants from section one three three. “Okay Airman Bright, let’s do this, if you really want to help me. I propose that while I go and fetch my plants, you stay here and pack up everything on this table. The equipment and bags on the table along with those two stacks of sample cases are going with us and need to be taken over to the Gate.” He pointed to the cases he meant as he made his way over to grab his backpack and a shovel.
The airman looked from him to the equipment, “Doctor Parrish, I’m pretty sure Lieutenant Clear won’t like your going off alone. I don’t know about this.” He was reaching for his radio, apparently to get an okay from his superior for the plan. That would not do, David was certain the lieutenant would put a stop to it, he had learned through experience that officers didn’t like compromises when it came to their orders. Too bad he didn’t have his team here, he knew how to work with them to get things done, it wouldn’t have taken so much cajoling.
He was uncharacteristically sharp as he snapped, “Your orders were to help, this is how you can help.” Bright’s hand dropped away from the radio and he sighed and looked off in the direction of the various planting grids. Seeing him waver, David quickly promised, “I will be as quick as a bunny, and be back before you know it.” He jogged off down the path, not waiting for Bright to say no. He remembered something and turned and called to the airman, “Oh, and the black nylon bag with the leaves sticking out of it too, don’t forget to take that.” He could do this, he was certain. Nothing to it. Get out to the field, dig up the samples and run back. Months of research salvaged. He checked his watch. He had just enough time.
“Major Lorne, get your team and take a jumper to help round up our people on M14-209. They dialed in and said they have an unanticipated storm situation and need to evac the site at 1600,” Sheppard told him as Lorne responded to the order to report to Control.
“Game called on account of rain?” Evan asked as he tried to remember where the rest of his team was, since they hadn’t been scheduled for an away mission they had all been off working on other projects.
“More like fire. Tons of lightning, setting the place on fire. Crazy weather, it’s no wonder the locals abandoned the place centuries ago.”
Uninhabited planet with crazy weather... crap, that sounded like the place where David’s latest pet research project was. He was doing a study on the weird properties of the soil there and how the plant life was affected, the usual science stuff that Evan tended to tune out. “Is my botanist down there, by any chance?”
“That’s why I called on you for taxi service. Go collect him and help Lieutenant Clear roust the others, you know how hard it is to herd scientists. He really wants them out of there ASAP.” Sheppard waved him off and Evan tried to push aside the cold knot of dread that had started to curl in his stomach. He knew he was overreacting, he was nervous simply because it was David.
Stackhouse and Cadman met him at the entrance to the jumper bay and they were quickly underway. They arrived on M14-209 to find the Atlantis scientists in a state of controlled panic, with gear, personnel and equipment strewn everywhere. Evan set the jumper down in the only spot he could find amidst the debris of the various research camps being broken down.
“Major Lorne, I’m really glad you brought a jumper! I was about to call for one.” Lieutenant Clear said in greeting as Evan lowered the puddlejumper’s ramp. “Doctor Kupla and his research assistant have been severely burned. They were out in one of the areas that was struck by a lightning storm. They’re badly in need of the medical team back in Atlantis. I couldn’t get much more info other than that, their radio cut out and we haven’t been able to get them back on the line.”
Evan looked around, but didn’t see anyone that looked hurt. “Where are they?”
A tall grey haired man with a thick scandinavian accent had come over to join them. Evan had seen him around Atlantis a few times, and after a moment’s thought he remembered his name: Doctor Lewiston. “They are still out at one of the furthest research camps: section one one one. According to our now unreliable equipment, the fires have almost reached that area.”
“That’s a few minutes west of us here by jumper, sir. I hope you can get to them in time. They radioed in for help about fifteen minutes ago, but communications have since become a major problem, we have spotty reception at best.”
“Do you have a medic you can spare, Lieutenant?”
“That would be me, Major. I’ve got my bag, I’m ready to leave when you are.”
“Good, you can direct me where to go. Head on up to the cockpit.”
Evan waved Cadman and Stackhouse over to talk quietly with them. “I’ll go collect the injured, you two help the marines get these people moving through the Gate. Dial home and load them up with whatever they can carry. You might have to drag Parrish away from his project, don’t let him talk you into staying, even if he throws a tantrum. Promise him whatever you have to promise to give him or do for him back in the city to get him moving.”
“Including the chocolate stash, Major?” Cadman looked shocked. That was for supreme team emergencies only. Lorne was pulling out their big guns.
“Even that,” he nodded.
It took longer than Evan had thought it would to find the researchers and get the small team of archeologists and assistants from their burning dig site onto the jumper. They had to move slowly to spare the injured any more pain. Evan did not envy Doctor Kupla and Doctor Franz the recuperation they had ahead of them from their injuries. To his untrained eye, they looked like very bad burns - critical according to the brief, terse evaluation the lieutenant tossed his way as he was trying to stabilize them.
Once they were underway, he radioed Stackhouse. “Talk to me, Stacks, how’s progress?”
“Almost done here, Major. The gear they wouldn’t leave without has been tossed through, as well as everyone but one AWOL scientist.”
“Is Parrish with you or did he go through already?”
Lorne anticipated Stackhouse’s response, even though he hoped it would be otherwise. Stackhouse sighed. “It should come as no small surprise that he’s the one missing, sir. Airman Bright said he was heading out to section one three three to get something he supposedly couldn’t leave without. He hasn’t come in yet.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Evan muttered, imagining full well how that conversation had gone, if indeed there had even been a conversation. He knew precisely how persuasive David could be when he wanted to do something. Airmen Bright hadn’t stood a chance of wrangling Parrish through the Gate. Evan glanced over his shoulder and met Lieutenant Clear’s eyes when the medic looked his way. “Do we have time for a detour?” he asked, hoping the answer would be yes.
“No, Major, we need to get them back to Atlantis immediately. Doctor Franz is going into shock.”
Evan hated when his jumper was called on to do ambulance duty, which too often it was. “Stackhouse, clear me a path, we’re coming straight through. ETA less than one minute.”
“You’re all clear now, sir. It’s just us and a few of the marines, they’ll follow you through with the last of the equipment. Cadman and I have a map of the field grid, we’re going after our botanist.”
Evan didn’t like this plan, splitting his team up grated on his nerves, but he couldn’t go looking for David until after he had safely dropped the injured scientists back at the city. “Right, I’ll be back as soon as possible. Send the marines home and try not to get crispy. And try to go easy on Parrish. Cadman, don’t yell at him when you catch up to him. You know our fallback rendezvous, in case of emergency, I’ll meet you there.” With the Wraith situation being what it was, his team had long ago established a protocol to meet up on a friendly world they had once explored, called Oolark, M42-267, in case Atlantis or the Alpha site were unable to be dialed. It was also where they were to leave a message, if necessary.
“Will do, sir.” Stackhouse and Cadman waved as Evan flew over them and angled the puddlejumper through the Gate. It was the last time he saw them.
“Try it again, Chuck,” Evan had his chin pressed to his steepled hands as he paced back and forth in front of Chuck’s console in the control room. He was avoiding looking in Sheppard’s direction, the sympathetic looks his CO kept giving him were actually getting on his nerves.
“No connection,” Chuck announced as he tried again. Evan knew that the Gate’s failsafes must have kicked in, the fires must have reached the Gate on M14-209, or the Gate itself had been struck by lightning. If it was the failsafes, it wouldn’t open until the storm had abated. If it had been lightning, it might never open again, M14-209 might be cut off from the Gate network forever.
Sheppard pushed away from the wall where he had been leaning for quite some time. “That’s enough, Chuck. Major, we’ll keep trying it periodically and let you know when we get a connection.”
“My team is still...” he said needlessly as he met Sheppard’s eyes and saw frustration, sadness and understanding there.
“Out there somewhere. I know. There’s nothing else we can do now, we sent a team to meet them at M42-267 and the Alpha site has been alerted to keep an eye out for them, should they turn up at either location. Go get some rest, Lorne.”
He nodded and left the control room, feeling a mix of emotions about his missing team, none of them good. He doubted he would sleep, but Sheppard’s tone had been one that did not invite discussion or argument.
[2012]
“These are the coordinates, what are we looking for, Major?” Alvarez called.
“Like we’ll be able to find anything in this downpour,” Johnson griped.
Evan ignored Johnson, who had been complaining the entire hike. “There should be a big boulder in a clearing, with a tree to either side.”
Alvarez let the wet palm frond he was holding snap back and whack Johnson with a wet slap, spraying water into Johnson’s face. Apparently the lieutenant had had enough of the constant whining too.
“This one?” Evan heard Ronon ask before he entered the clearing to see the Satedean standing on the rock in question.
“That would be it, what are you looking at?”
Ronon traced his fingers over the bark of the tree. “M25-247,” he replied, then jumped down. Johnson scrambled up to examine the carving for himself, though his balance was precarious as he stood on tiptoe to see.
“Message for you sir?”
Staring up at the planetary designation Evan gave a slow nod. The height of the carving indicated it had to have been Stackhouse or Parrish that put it there, though his money was on Stacks; David would have used rocks or sticks laid out on the ground, he wouldn’t have cut into a tree like that. At least one of his team was alive. He breathed in and tamped down his excitement.
“Is this what you hoped to find, Major?” Johnson asked and then he jumped down and nearly fell backwards, his fall stopped by Ronon, who righted him and gave him a dark look. Johnson couldn’t move away fast enough.
“Not exactly.” He’d hoped to find them here waiting, but it had been years, he was lucky to have this clue.
Ronon asked, “What’s at M25-247?”
“More rain, actually. We hypothesized that the area near the Gate was used for ceremonial purposes. The place was so wet, it was scratched as a beta site possibility and we couldn’t convince an anthropology team to do an in-depth analysis just to satisfy our botanist’s curiosity.”
“Do you have the Gate address? Alvarez asked.
“I know it.” Evan remembered everything about that mission, even after all this time.
“May as well go now, we can’t get more wet,” Johnson picked up his feet, making a loud slurping noise as he pulled each from the wet ground. “Or muddy.”
“Can always get more muddy,” Ronon said, bumping into Johnson as he moved past him, sending the smaller man careening backwards to perfectly prove his point.
“Checkmate,” Cadman said with a yawn as Stacks moved his bishop.
“Where?” he demanding, looking at all the pieces on their hand-carved chess board. The making of the board and Cadman’s teaching Stackhouse the game had filled some of the long hours of tedium during the frequent rainstorms over the years.
She tapped a piece with the tips of her fingers. “Look here.”
“Damn it.”
“Do you hear something?” Cadman asked, turning to look at the path that led to the Gate. Stackhouse reached for his weapon, which he always kept close at hand, despite never once having needed it in all the time they had been on this world. Cadman had also reached for her sidearm.
“Rain, as usual.” He cocked his head. He heard it too, voices. “Yes.” In unison they stood and took up positions behind the thick posts supporting the roof of the “Gazebo” as they had taken to calling the main structure that had been here when they arrived on their original mission and they had used for a base back then. Since coming back here, they had erected huts and covered walkways between them, a necessity to keep dry when moving around in the wet weather on “Totem World” as they had nicknamed M25-247.
“I hope they’re friendly, I’m rusty,” Cadman waggled her 9mm and grinned at him as she whispered the confession. They had raided the ammo dump at the deserted Alpha site for supplies years before, but to conserve munitions, they only practiced shooting occasionally.
“What have we here?” Stackhouse heard a familiar voice say and he smiled and looked over at Cadman, who was already leaving the shelter of the post and heading across the open ground.
“Welcome to Totem Town, Major!” she called as she jogged over to the new arrivals. Stackhouse followed, holstering his weapon and relieved that rescue had finally come.
Evan opened his arms and caught Laura Cadman in a bone-crunching hug, spinning her around as they both laughed. Long arms wrapped around them both and soon Stackhouse had joined in the group hug.
“Boy are we glad to see you!” Stackhouse said as they finally released their hold on each other. “We tried over and over to dial Atlantis, but we couldn’t get through. We hit a few trading planets asking around and heard rumors that Atlantis was gone, we didn’t know what to think!”
“Long story. The short version is that we took the city to Earth, and had the devil of a time getting her back here,” Evan said as he watched Cadman and Stackhouse each give Ronon a hug, which Ronon gracefully tolerated. Alvarez and Johnson were strangers to his teammates, but they exchanged back pats and welcoming smiles. “Where’s David?” he blurted, unable to hold his tongue any longer, and afraid of what his absence meant.
“Pouting. His latest crop of disgusting veggies went to mould, not that we’re sorry, they’re dreadful,” Stackhouse replied. “He’s probably up by the totem pole, he always goes up there when he’s upset about something.”
Evan started off in the direction of the hill path. “Shall we come along sir?” Alvarez called.
“No, I’ll be fine. You guys stay here, I’ll get Doctor Parrish.” Lorne wanted this reunion to be private, he had things he wanted to say to David that were no one else’s business.
He slowed his step when he reached the place he had slid down the hill years before. He saw a small cairn of rocks marking the spot. So, David remembered too. No one else would have piled the rocks there.
Coming to the place where the totem pole stood, Evan spied a ratty pair of boots and a bare calf, David was sitting on the far side of the pole, with his back pressed to the flatter surface of the Asgardie-face carving. He approached quietly, listening to the rainfall hitting the leaves, just as David must be doing. He saw that David had his eyes closed and his head tilted back, warm raindrops hitting his face. He was either sleeping or deep in thought, he did not react to Evan’s approach.
“I don’t care that you hated the vegetables, Stacks. That wasn’t the point,” Parrish said in a tired voice, not opening his eyes.
“Sorry your crop flopped, Farmer Jones,” Evan said as he crouched down in front of David so that their eyes were level when David jerked at the sound of his voice and opened his eyes to stare at him in disbelief.
“Evan?” David whispered, reaching a hand out and brushing his fingers along Evan’s jaw. “You’re real.”
“Real as can be. I missed you so much, David. I was afraid you were...” David cut off what he had been about to say as he launched himself forward and knocked Evan back, landing atop him. Evan laughed as David rained kisses over his face. “I guess you missed me too.”
“It was my fault, we missed the dial out because of me. We had to hide in a deep cave to escape the firestorms and we couldn’t go up for days and then we tried to dial Atlantis and we couldn’t connect.” David let out a sob and Evan clucked his tongue once and then grabbed David’s face and pulled him in for a proper kiss. Years of feeling went into it. Guilt, loss, longing, all there, right there, shared between them, felt by both of them.
David pulled away and looked down into Evan’s eyes. “I didn’t know what happened to you.”
“We left, I’ll tell you everything in detail later. We went back to Earth. It’s been a nightmare. I thought you were dead. When we couldn’t dial in to M14-209, we thought the Gate had been destroyed. Then we had to go, I couldn’t come look for you, I’m so sorry.”
Raising his head, Evan kissed David again, tightening his arms around his back and holding him. There was no hurry, he let his tongue wander, exploring David’s mouth.
Suddenly, David stopped kissing him and wriggled to get loose. “Did you come alone? Someone might be coming.” He looked around in a panic.
“I don’t care if they do. Stargate Command has new regs, falling in line with the military’s new policies since DADT was repealed. We don’t have to hide, I don’t have to lie anymore.”
With a smile, David kissed the tip of his nose. “No?”
“Nope, we can be together if you want. I’ve been waiting to say this for a long time. I love you David Parrish.”
Pushing back and scrambling to his feet, David held a hand out to help Evan up. “I want to do this properly, not lying in the mud. I love you, Evan Lorne, I’ve loved you practically since the day I met you.”
“I’m not leaving you behind, not ever again. I swear. Get me a stack of Bibles and I’ll swear it in front of witnesses. I have been completely miserable without you.” He wrapped an arm around his botanist’s waist and pulled David close, then went up on his toes to kiss him.
“You do realize that it’s pouring rain, don’t you, Evan?” David asked with a giddy laugh.
“Rain makes the plants grow. Plants make my botanist happy. I sort of love the rain.”
And he did, ever after.