Chapter Text
Eleanor downed the shots she'd collected from Vicky before she could cross from the bar to the parlor, where she expected to find Tahani. She decided that she needed to give her soulmate a piece of her mind. It hadn’t even been a day of living with her, and her feelings towards her may be somewhat confusing, but something had to be said preemptively. She quickly spotted Tahani in the parlor next to a banquet table and gasped.
“Tahani!” she exclaimed, rushing over to her soulmate, “Tahani…what kind of name is that?”
“Oh goodness, hello, darling! Are you feeling alright?” she asked, giving an apologetic glance to who she had been talking to before being interrupted. The other person gave a small uncomfortable smile and scurried off.
“Yeah I'm feeling so alright! I think heaven alcohol works faster than normal alcohol,” the blonde said cheerfully.
“Eleanor, you're not drunk already, are you?” Tahani asked judgementally.
“I'm not drunk! I just need a nap. And to get out of this dress. I hate this stupid forking dress…” the blonde muttered.
“I think we should…hold on a second, darling, you hate it? Why didn’t you say so?” Tahani asked, perplexed.
Eleanor chuckled. “You’re sooooo gorgeous. You think anyone could say no to you?” she said. She placed a hand on the side of her soulmate’s face and leaned forward to twirl a lock of her hair around her finger.
Tahani’s cheeks flushed. “Thank you darling, but um…could we not do this right now?” she said, pulling away.
The blonde gasped. “Am I embarrassing you?!” she exclaimed loudly. Several partygoers turned their heads in the direction of the commotion.
The brunette looked sheepishly at everyone who was suddenly paying attention to them. “No, you weren’t, but you are now!”
Her soulmate stood up from the couch. “Oh, I see how it is. You’re all, ‘I’m Tahani, I’m tight with Angelina Jolie and I love crumpets, so I’m ashamed of my Arizona trash bag soulmate’ but let me tell you something,” Eleanor started, putting on a poor mock British accent. “This Arizona trashbag needs some shrimpys. I know I saw some somewhere, can anyone tell me where the shrimp are?” she loudly called to the crowd that continued to grow.
“I do love crumpets, though how could you forget that I was closer with Brad Pitt! Furthermore, I am not ashamed of you in the slightest, but… you said you’re from Arizona?”
“Yes your majesty, I’m from Arizona! Born and raised and died,” Eleanor said with a grin, putting dramatic emphasis on the last word.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, it simply caught me off guard,” Tahani explained defensively.
Eleanor rolled her eyes. “Sure, sure. I’m sure that’s how it is, you stupid uppity giraffe,” she spat antagonistically.
Her soulmate gasped. “Eleanor! How…how could you say such a thing?! You don’t even know me yet.”
“I know enough, baby! Now I’m off to get my shrimp,” she replied, hiking up her skirt and beginning to turn around. The long coral layers became twisted up around Eleanor’s ankles and hindered her movement, despite her best attempts to prevent it from happening.
Tahani rushed forward and reached out to grab Eleanor by the arm. “Sweetie, why don’t we retire to our home? I’ll get you put to bed and make you a preemptive hangover cure,” she suggested. She let go of the blonde’s arm to take her gently by the shoulders, but Eleanor pushed her away.
“I don’t need a hangover cure…my mama didn’t raise no bench,” she said, looking as if she was going to fall over again.
“Eleanor, please! Let me help you,” Tahani pleaded, reaching out to take her hands.
“I don’t need help! I can handle myse-” the blonde screeched right before she stumbled over her twisted up skirts and careened into a nearby table ladened with snacks.
Tahani clasped both hands over her mouth. “Eleanor? Are you alright?” she asked as she rushed over and knelt down next to her soulmate, who was lying on the collapsed table.
The blonde giggled, her laughter growing slowly over almost a minute. “I found the shrimp!” she declared triumphantly, holding one aloft before stuffing it in the top of her dress.
“Darling, I’m taking you home, okay?” Tahani insisted, holding out a hand to help Eleanor up.
“I said I didn’t need any help…hey! Chidi! Over here! I got shrimp!” Eleanor exclaimed, waving frantically to the other side of the room.
Chidi, who happened to be passing by on his way to the door, turned to see his new friend lying disheveled on a broken table. He rushed over quickly and joined Tahani in standing over her. “Hey, Eleanor! What’s…what happened?”
“I fell again because of this dumb, stupid dress that some idiot forced me into. But on the bright side, I’m swimming in shrimp!” Eleanor explained, placing emphasis on ‘dumb, stupid dress’ while glaring at Tahani.
“Here, why don’t I help you up and get you home?” Chidi offered, holding out a hand as Tahani had.
When Eleanor reached up to take it, her soulmate jumped in front of Chidi. “Now wait just a second, who are you?” she asked.
“A friend of Eleanor’s. And you’re…her mermaid-like soulmate?” he replied.
“Oh. She…she said that? That I’m mermaid-like?” Tahani said, bashfully flattered.
Eleanor finally stood up with Chidi’s help and winced. “I think me leggy hurt. I mean, my leggy’s hurt. I don’t think I can walk,” she said.
“Here, I’ve got you,” Chidi said before sweeping Eleanor off of her feet and cradling her bridal style.
“Bless you for helping. Our residence is right next door if you wouldn’t mind carrying her back. I’ll join you shortly,” Tahani said.
“No problem. I'll get her to bed and make sure she has a trash can beside her,” he offered.
Eleanor reached up and slapped the side of Chidi’s face. “Hey! Shellstrop women can handle their liquor!”
Chidi smiled down to her. “I'm sure you can. I'll still get you home,” he insisted.
Tahani mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him before disappearing into the crowd to continue to socializing, and likely to apologize for Eleanor’s behavior.
“Alright! Let's get you home and all comfy-cozy in your bed,” he cooed to the drunk woman in his arms.
“Whooo! I can't wait for you to see the horrifying clowns painted on the door to my room!” Eleanor exclaimed.
“Wait, if you think that they're horrifying, why are they on the door to your room in what is essentially heaven?” Chidi asked, extremely confused.
“Well, you see Chidster. I have something to tell you,” Eleanor said, moving up close enough to his ear that he could feel her breath on his neck.
“What is it, Eleanor?” he asked, giving a slightly amused smile, thinking she was going to spew more drunk observations.
“I don’t belong here!” she said.
“Whaaaat does that mean?” Chidi asked, his smile morphing into a nervous one.
“I’m not the real Eleanor. I don’t belong in the Good Place!”