Chapter Text
Namjoon was mostly asleep, or he wouldn't have answered Jimin’s call. If he was a little more awake, he would have wondered why Jimin was calling rather than texting, and then maybe if he'd had just a few more seconds of rational thought, he would have realized that Jimin was trying to facetime him, and maybe he wouldn't have picked up the phone and hit answer.
In another, slightly more awake universe, Jimin wouldn't have seen Namjoon shirtless with bruises on his neck and a very naked Yoongi asleep on his chest.
“Gaaahhh,” Namjoon said as he frantically tried to hit end while Jimin laughed so hard Namjoon could only see the top of his hair as he launched himself out of sight in a fit of giggles.
Once Namjoon had hung up and calmed his breathing a little, a message came in from Jimin.
please tell me hobi hyung is there too
He wasn't, but Namjoon could hear the shower running and he knew what Jimin was getting at.
yeah he's here. sorry about that
It took a minute for the response, bubbles popping up and disappearing. Namjoon could practically see Jimin warring with himself over whether to be emotionally supportive or to give Namjoon tons of shit.
happy for you. tell hyung i have a screenshot and i'm setting it as his contact pic
Namjoon snorted. He sent back a thumbs up emoji and put his phone down. Well. It didn't look like they were going to keep this a secret from their friends for long, not that he wanted to.
But they still had some logistics to figure out first.
He heard Hoseok get out of the shower and start the kettle for tea. Namjoon couldn’t think of anything he wanted more than a shower himself, so he kissed the top of Yoongi’s head, gently shifted out from underneath him, and headed into the shower to clean up.
When he got out, Hoseok was sitting at the table with a steaming cup of coffee in front of him and Yoongi on his lap. Hoseok was scrolling through his phone, his arms wrapped around Yoongi’s waist, and Yoongi was nursing a giant cup of coffee. He was still in his underwear, but he’d thrown on a shirt of Hoseok’s.
“Hey,” Namjoon said. He felt awkward, so he went and made himself some coffee. His lucky mug was clean, which he took as a good sign for the day.
“So,” Namjoon said, sitting down. “Do we need to-- I don’t know, do we figure out like a schedule? A date schedule?”
“What did I tell you about Virgos,” Yoongi said, pressing a kiss into Hoseok’s temple.
“What, like taking turns?” Hoseok laughed, squeezing Yoongi around the waist. “A shared calendar of dick appointments?”
“No,” Namjoon said, then realized that a color coded calendar of dick appointments was actually what he’d had in mind. “Well, maybe.”
“You’re overthinking it. It's simple,” Yoongi said, shrugging. “You still live together. We still work together. I'll come over when I can, I’ll stay at my place when I feel like it. We’ll all have sex together and separately and we’ll all go on dates together and separately. Trying to enforce some kind of fairness or equality is just going to give all of us a headache. We’re together, and we keep talking about it. That's all that matters.”
Namjoon thought about it. He turned the idea over in his mind. It seemed both too simple and very complicated. “We could still get our feelings hurt.”
Yoongi snorted. “Well yeah. It's a relationship, of course we’ll get our feelings hurt. But if we keep talking, we’ll get through.”
Namjoon looked at Hoseok. “Hobi?”
“Yeah, do you have any thoughts on talking about your feelings, Jung Hoseok?” Yoongi teased. “Sounds easy right?”
“Namjoon is my favorite boyfriend now,” Hoseok declared, slinging his arm around Namjoon and yanking him in toward them, nearly unseating Yoongi. “You're bullying me, I’m being bullied.”
“Hobi,” Namjoon repeated, carding his fingers through Hoseok’s hair. “Come on.”
“Yes, I will talk about my feelings,” Hoseok sighed. “But really, I’m happy with how things are so far. I'm willing to just take it as it comes.”
Namjoon fiddled with the pen on the table in front of him. He spun it around his fingers, thinking about the message from Jimin this morning, and watched as the pen somehow slipped and spun away, flattering to the floor. “Sorry,” he said, bending down to grab it. “FYI, Jimin knows about us, what are we telling people?”
“Jin-hyung knows,” Yoongi said from above him. “Of course.”
“I still can’t believe you kissed him,” Hoseok said, cocking his head to the side. “Seriously.”
Namjoon ignored him. “So Jimin, hyung, maybe Taehyung?”
Yoongi shook his head. “Jimin won’t tell if he thinks it’s a secret, he’s good like that.”
“Jungkookie and Taehyung won’t care,” Hoseok said. “I’m not even sure what you’re worried about.”
“I don’t want everyone to think I’m a homewrecker or something, or that I-- I don’t know, that I wormed my way into your relationship.” Namjoon shrugged. “The kids love you guys.”
Yoongi leaned over and gently smacked him on the head. “Jungkook would walk off a building if you asked him to--”
“He’d do it anyway, that kid is an adrenaline junkie--”
Ignoring him, Yoongi went on, “--and do you think they all don’t know how much we care for you? Do you think Jin hyung would put up with it for two seconds if he thought you were homewrecking us? Or Jimin?”
“Jimin called this morning,” Namjoon admitted. “Facetime. I think he was trying to show me something, I’m not sure what, but he uh--.” Namjoon gestured toward Yoongi. “He saw us sleeping.”
“That little shit screenshotted it, didn’t he,” Yoongi sighed.
“It’s your new contact pic, yeah.”
Behind Yoongi, Hoseok whooped with laughter. “Oh my god, I need it, I’m texting him right now.” He shoved his hand in his pocket to grab his phone, jostling Yoongi enough that he got off his lap and dropped into the chair on the other side of Namjoon.
“We’re going to see everyone at Jin-hyung’s birthday thing anyway,” Yoongi said. “They’ll figure it out.” He finished the last of his coffee and stretched, yawning. “My turn for the shower. Did you guys have any plans today?”
Namjoon really, really wished he didn’t have any plans, but all the stress and distraction for the past few weeks had really killed a lot of his creativity. He was so far behind on so many projects, and he could feel ideas growing in the back of his mind, pushing forward now that there was a little breathing room to do so. “I should head in to the studio,” he said apologetically.
Hoseok looked disappointed, but Yoongi nodded. He got it, and he’d had a front row seat to Namjoon’s stressed fumblings at work. Namjoon awkwardly squeezed Hoseok’s hand. “I’ll be back later,” he said. “You guys hang out, watch a movie, make out on the couch.” He smiled and kissed Hoseok’s cheek, startling a happy squeak from him. “And when I come home we can go out to dinner. A real date.”
“Hot pot?” Yoongi suggested. “I haven’t had hot pot in forever and there’s that new Chinese place in Myeong-dong.” He’d been talking about it for weeks, Namjoon could have guessed that would be his choice. From the look on Hoseok’s face, he was having the same thought, smiling fondly at Yoongi.
“Yep, hot pot it is, let’s get it.” Hoseok said. “Namjoon, don’t lose track of time, okay? Be back by seven so we can go out.”
Namjoon was right about feeling better: when he got to work, he was able to put some music on and just focus, shutting out everything else and letting ideas just flow from his mind into the blank notebook in front of him. By the time the alarm on his phone went off, he was energized and wired, but hitting the edge of fatigue that made him realize he shouldn’t push it any further. He splashed water on his face and brushed his teeth in the office bathroom (he was just wafting black coffee fumes at this point) before texting Yoongi and Hoseok that he was on his way.
When he got home, Yoongi was dressed in the same all-black outfit he’d worn on his last date with Namjoon and pretending not to pose as Hoseok snapped pictures of him. Namjoon dropped his bag and watched them, his throat closed with the last remnants of his tears, still feeling a little fragile from his earlier thoughts. He cleared his throat and blinked. “You look handsome, hyung,” he said, a little hoarsely. “You both do.” Hoseok had on an oversized shirt that was partly unbuttoned, showing a clinging tank top underneath. “I’m really lucky, you know that? I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Sentimental,” Hoseok said dismissively, but he was smiling. “That’s our Namjoonie.”
“We’re all lucky,” Yoongi said. He walked over to Namjoon and put his arms around him, pulling him down into a hug. “And hungry. Let’s go eat.”
The hot pot was delicious. Yoongi spent the entire dinner explaining how you get the broth to exactly the right temperature and how to balance the flavors and Hoseok talked on the way home about how he’d been considering taking a part as a backup dancer in an idol video, but he was worried about a nagging ache in his left knee that he didn’t want to aggravate. Namjoon stayed mostly silent, his heart too full and content to let any of it out, and part of him worried he might break some of the magic.
When they got off at the metro stop near Namjoon and Hoseok’s apartment, Yoongi wrapped his arms around Hoseok and leaned on him, sagging against his for support. “You’re tired,” Hoseok said. “Why don’t you head home.”
“Are you sure?” Yoongi asked, but Namjoon saw the way he was eyeing the station entrance.
“Hyung, it’s fine,” Namjoon said. He was very familiar with how much alone time Yoongi needed; he wasn’t going to get offended about it. “Seriously, Seokjin-hyung probably has a search team out for you.”
“He’s probably filled my room with workout equipment,” Yoongi said. “I’m going to come in and Jungkook is going to be sleeping on a weight bench where my bed should be.”
It didn’t take any more encouragement for him to head off, and Namjoon and Hoseok made their way back to their place in relative silence. Hoseok was humming SNSD’s Gee under his breath and occasionally, seemingly subconsciously, moving along to the choreo. It was cute.
There wasn’t anything different about their bedtime routine at first; Namjoon grabbed the bathroom right away, brushing his teeth and taking his contacts out before heading to his room to change. After putting on his sleep shorts, he realized that he needed his hairbrush, which was still in the bathroom.
“Hobi?” he called, knocking gently on the door. “Can I come in a sec?”
“Mmm-hmmm,” Hoseok garbled back, clearly with a mouth full of toothpaste. When Namjoon opened the door, Hoseok was wearing a loose t-shirt and shorts and was spitting in the sink.
“I just need my brush,” Namjoon said. “Now-- where did I--”
“Top shelf,” Hoseok said, ducking down to wash his face. “To the right, next to the vitamins.”
“RIght, right, got it.” Namjoon looked over and Hoseok was still doing the Gee choreo, wiggling his butt as he patted toner on his face. He was smiling and his butt looked good and Namjoon realized that he could just kiss him because he wanted to.
Namjoon walked up behind him and slipped his arm around Hoseok’s waist and bent to kiss the apple of his cheek, nuzzling down into his neck. “You’re cute,” he said.
“Aaahhhh,” Hoseok said, clearly embarrassed. “Go away, I have to finish my face.” Namjoon smiled into Hoseok’s neck and kissed him again, just to bug him, before heading off to bed.
Namjoon was just drifting off to sleep when Hoseok came into his room and sat on the side of his bed, leaning in to kiss him softly on the forehead, then his lips. “Good night,” he whispered.
“Good night,” Namjoon said back. “Hey. You’re my boyfriend.”
Hoseok giggled softly. “Do you want me to sleep here tonight?”
Namjoon thought about it. “Is it okay if I say no? I just want to be alone with my thoughts for a bit.”
“Of course,” Hoseok said, kissing him one more time. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Despite his words, Namjoon didn’t have much time to think. The combined exhaustion from work and good food shut down the anxious whirring of his brain and he was able to finally sleep.
….
Yoongi sent a message to the group chat he, Namjoon, and Hoseok had the next morning saying he wouldn’t be over for a few days because he needed “roommate time” along with a pic of a blank-faced Seokjin who looked like he was having fifteen simultaneous internal crises.
At first Namjoon worried about Yoongi staying away so early on in their fedgling relationship -- would it make everything unbalanced? But it was okay. Namjoon saw Yoongi at work where they kept everything businesslike until Namjoon cornered him in a supply closet and kissed him until he was pink and flustered and silently laughing behind his hand. And Hoseok showed up twice to take Yoongi out for lunch, just so they could see each other.
Yoongi had been right; it was just kind of working out. They were making time for each other, separately and together. They went out again the Tuesday before Seokjin’s party and Yoongi slept over, the three of them all tangled together on the floor.
A few nights later, Namjoon and Hoseok went over to Yoongi and Seokjin’s place to help them get things together for Seokjin’s birthday party. Namjoon could tell that Seokjin was kind of stressed about the party --was pacing like an anxious cat when they finally showed up.
“So are you shutting down the bar for us, or what?” Namjoon asked.
Seokjin snorted. “I still have to make money and keep my job, but I’m roping off one of the back sections. Temporary VIP area. Jaehwan is going to cover my shift and he’s promised to keep the booze flowing.”
“And Jungkook is going?” Hoseok asked, then put up his hands when Seokjin shot him a look. “Hey, I’m just asking!”
“Of course he’s going.” Seokjin brushed at a nonexistent piece of lint on his shirt. “He’s one of my best friends, why wouldn’t he go.”
“Are you guys still going to the gym together?” Yoongi asked, looking past Seokjin to wink at Hoseok.
“Yoongi, seriously.” Seokjin sighed and put his head in his hands. “I don’t need to twenty questions. I know he’s into me, or at least wants to fuck me, that much is obvious.” He laughed, dry and a little bitter. “I mean, who wouldn’t?” He raised his head and pointed at his face.
“He doesn’t just want you because you’re hot,” Yoongi said quietly.
“He might,” Seokjin countered. He sounded like a toddler.
“He doesn’t,” Yoongi said. “You’ll see.”
Any sign of Seokjin’s nerves were gone by time they got to the club. He was handsome as ever, calm and relaxed, laughing and joking with their friends, pouring drink after drink. Taehyung and Jimin had arrived together and both hugged Namjoon at the same time, one from each side. Namjoon had given Jimin the okay to tell Taehyung and Jungkook everything, so he assumed that’s what the hugging was for. “Where’s Jungkook?” Namjoon asked. Hoseok came up behind him and immediately grabbed Jimin into a big hug.
“Where’s my Jungkookie?” Hoseok asked after he’d hugged Jimin breathless while Taehyung whined that he was next.
“I just asked that,” Namjoon said dryly. “You interrupted.”
Jimin and Taehyung looked at each other, silently communicating. “I’m not sure,” Taehyung said eventually. “He left the apartment a few hours ago. He said he had stuff to do, but he wouldn’t say anything other than that.”
Namjoon looked at Hoseok and he felt himself mirroring Hoseok’s slight shrug. He wasn’t going to worry about it, Jungkook clearly had some stuff to work through. Namjoon expected Jungkook to skip the party once he wasn’t there on time. Or maybe slip in late and try to be as unobtrusive as possible.
He hadn’t really considered option C. Option C looked like this: Jeon Jungkook running into the club an hour late, sweaty and wild-eyed, and slamming his hand down on the table in front of Seokjin, who screeched and almost spilled his drink.
“I’m challenging you,” Jungkook panted. “Arm wrestle me.”
“I will not,” Seokjin spluttered, holding his shot glass up higher. “Are you drunk?”
“No, but I had like three energy drinks to get up the courage to do this and I think I might need to run a 10k later, but we can talk about that after.” Jungkook smacked his hand down on the table. “I need you to arm wrestle me. If I win, you go on a date with me. If you win, I’ll stop. Leave you alone.”
Seokjin looked frozen. “A date?” His hand with the glass in it was suspended midair.
“Yeah, I got it all planned, you’re going to love it, but I’m not telling you unless I win.” Now that he was looking more closely, Namjoon could see that Jungkook was shaking. Hoseok moved toward Jungkook as Yoongi walked up next to Namjoon. Yoongi put his hand on Namjoon’s arm and gripped his bicep.
Seokjin swallowed hard and put his chin up. “Okay.”
“Jin-hyung is stronger than he looks,” Yoongi murmured. “I’m pretty sure he can beat Jungkook.”
Namjoon was too caught up to answer. Across the way, Taehyung and Jimin were gripping each others’ hands and Hoseok had his hand out, ready to pull Jungkook back, or comfort him, Namjoon wasn’t sure.
Jungkook sat down across from Seokjin, scraping his chair across the floor as he did so. “Ready?” he asked, carefully anchoring his elbow and flexing his hand.
Seokjin just nodded and put his own hand up, bracing his legs on the floor.
“I’ll count off,” Taehyung said, looking gleeful at the drama unfolding in front of them. “On the count of three. One--”
Seokjin and Jungook gripped hands.
“Two--”
Jungkook bit his lower lip and raised his head to look at Seokjin, defiant.
“Three!”
Seokjin relaxed -- Namjoon saw it, he was watching too closely not to -- and let his arm go limp as Jungkook slammed it to the table.
There was probably noise in the club -- talking, music. The clinking of glasses. But Namjoon couldn’t hear it. It seemed like everyone fell silent as Jungkook and Seokjin stared at each other.
“You--” Jungkook said, holding up his hand. “You didn’t even--”
“I lost, fair and square,” Seokjin said, raising his chin challengingly. His face was all pink. “So I guess you’re just going to have to take me out.”
“I guess I will,” Jungook shot back. “Um. So there.”
“Okay, okay!” Jimin yelled, clapping his hands. “Someone get another round of drinks, come on, my glass is empty, what are we doing here, people? Let’s move!” The crowd unfroze and people started moving around and talking normally. Namjoon let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Holy shit,” Yoonngi breathed. “Well. I guess I’m staying over your place tonight.”
“You’re staying over anyway,” Namjoon said, wrapping his arm around him. “It’s been days, I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” Yoongi said, “and I love you but right now I need a drink, god. That was so stressful, were we that bad?”
“It felt worse,” Namjoon admitted. “So much worse.”
Yoongi smiled at him, his flat cute little smile. “Do you want to see if we can get Hobi to get drunk with us tonight?”
“Oh yeah,” Namjoon said. “That sounds like a plan and a half.”
…...
When Namjoon woke up the next morning, Hoseok was quietly cuddled into his side, looking at his phone and Yoongi was curled away from him, still sound asleep. Namjoon didn’t feel nearly as hungover as he felt like he should be, but he could tell it was the kind of Sunday that he’d mostly spend lounging around in bed and doing nothing all day.
But this time, he got to lounge around in bed with Yoongi and Hoseok. That was going to be so much more fun than just sitting and bingeing stuff on Netflix. He felt small, sleepy zing of arousal at the thought, nudging his nose into Hoseok’s hair. “Good morning,” he said.
“Mmmm, good morning.” Hoseok was looking through Instagram, at pictures his sister had just posted. He smelled minty, like he’d brushed his teeth, and Namjoon was pretty sure that he himself smelled like stale liquor and fried food.
“Be right back,” Namjoon whispered. Hoseok acknowledged him with a mumble, and rolled over to fill Namjoon’s space when he got up, flinging and arm and a leg over Yoongi, who just muttered to himself but didn’t wake up.
Namjoon found a bottle of iced coffee in the fridge, chugged that down, then drank two cups of water. He went into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, then thought about his boyfriends in bed, and what he wanted to do there all day, and decided on a shower as well.
It took him a little longer than he thought it would, but he finally crawled back into bed in just his underwear, squeezing himself into the space between Hoseok, who had now rolled over with his back to Yoongi, and Yoongi, who hadn’t moved.
“Hey.” Namjoon pulled Hoseok’s phone out of his hands and tipped his chin up to kiss him. He’d been thinking about this in a low-key way since he’d woken up, and the thought of it has just intensified as he brushed his teeth, as he chased the lather running down his body with his bare hands on slick skin, as he’d dried himself off, the towel feeling rough on his over-sensitive body. And now he was hungry for it, to touch and be touched again, to feel them all over him and inside him. He ached, deep down, for more. He reached down with one hand to cup Hoseok’s ass and ground against him a little. “Good morning,” he whispered, then immediately got embarrassed at how seductive he was trying to sound.
Hoseok didn’t seem to care, though. He kissed Namjoon back and rubbed his foot along the back of Namjoon’s calf. He was shirtless too, just wearing a pair of sleep shorts, and Namjoon was content to just let his hands wander all over his bare skin for a bit. It wasn’t long before they were both hard and getting into it a little more, using nails against skin, thrusting a little harder. “Want to get off like this?” Hoseok asked, nipping at the tender skin just under Namjoon’s ear.
It was tempting, but Namjoon had other ideas. “Fuck me?” he asked, breathless and too turned on to feel shy about asking. “Please? Or hyung can do it, please, god, I want it.” He wanted it so badly and he was more than ready.
“Hyung’s asleep,” Yoongi mumbled from the other side of Namjoon, but he snuggled up against Namjoon’s back and trailed his hand lazily down Namjoon’s chest. “But I’ll get you ready and Hobi can fuck you, okay?”
“More than okay.” Namjoon craned his head back and kissed Yoongi. It was a little sloppy because of the angle, but Namjoon could tell how interested he was in the whole idea.
“Hoseok-ah, the lube,” Yoongi murmured as they broke apart. Hoseok went to grab it and Namjoon just concentrated on the sensation of Yoongi’s warm hand stroking down his lower back. Calming. Grounding. “Have you done this before?” Yoongi asked. “To yourself, or with a girl?”
“To myself,” Namjoon answered. He rocked back against Yoongi, remembering the last time he’d done it. “I can’t get the angle right and my wrist hurts after a bit. I love it though.” He couldn’t stop talking, he wanted to let Yoongi know he didn’t have to be gentle or wait or go too slow. “It feels-- it feels--” Yoongi’s hand stilled low on his back, tracing down the knobs of his spine.
“I know,” Yoongi said, low and rough in his ear. “I love it too. We’re going to make you feel so good, I promise.”
Hoseok crawled over and leaned across Namjoon to kiss Yoongi, handing him the lube. “Get him good and wet, babe,” he said, and Namjoon shuddered.
Immediately, it was different. The feel of Yoongi’s fingers against him were so much better than his own. He never knew where they were going to go next, teasing, probing, stroking him from the inside out. Namjoon dropped his head to take deep breaths as Yoongi stretched him and Hoseok cooed over him a little, kissing the top of his head. “So good for us,” he said. “I love seeing you like this.”
“Hobi,” Namjoon gasped, just as Yoongi hit a good spot inside him. He was so hard. His thighs were shaking. He might come, just like this. He writhed against Yoongi, who was hard against his back, and then pitched forward to rub against Hoseok.
“Mmmm, Namjoon? Did you have something to say?” Hoseok teased.
“Yeah,” Namjoon mumbled. “Get the fuck inside me before I come.”
Hoseok threw his head back and laughed as Yoongi snorted behind him. “I suppose I can do that,” he said. “How do you want it, Namjoon-ah?” he asked, his voice dripping with honey. “It’s easier on your knees.”
Easier sounded good and Namjoon just wanted -- he just wanted, so he got on his knees and Hoseok got behind him and Yoongi rolled so he was just next to Namjoon, one hand on his side and the other on his cheek. Hoseok pressed against him and entered him, slowly, stretching him wider than he’d ever felt before, and Namjoon felt like he was outside himself, pleasure burning in his gut and heating his face.
It was fast, once Hoseok got moving, hips working in rhythm, hitting him at the right angle every time while Yoongi pulled him down into a messy, wet kiss. None of it was coordinated -- Hoseok’s hand kept slipping off Namjoon’s hips, and Yoongi’s kisses were more teeth than tongue -- but it was perfect. When Namjoon heard himself starting to make little “ah-ah-ahhhh” noises that he couldn’t quite control, Yoongi reached down and clumsily stroked him twice and he came, groaning, all over the mattress. His orgasm felt like it was wrenched from deep inside his whole body, waves and waves passing through him, in a way he’d never felt before.
“Joon,” Hoseok gasped. “Joon, please. Please, can I?” Hoseok panted, the edge of a whine to his voice. He felt huge and hard inside Namjoon and it was honestly pretty uncomfortable, on the verge of painful, but Namjoon said, “Yeah, yeah go for it.”
Hoseok’s hips lost their rhythm as he thrust in short, staccato bursts, stuttering as he finally pushed deep inside and groaned, just as the sensation was getting way too painful for Namjoon. It was amazing, getting to feel it, even though it was completely overwhelming.
Namjoon took a deep breath as Hoseok pulled out of him slowly, then collapsed, shaking onto the mattress. He felt wrung out, boneless. He couldn’t move if you paid him.
“Baby,” he heard Yoongi say next to him, and he turned his head in time to see Hoseok going down on Yoongi, loose and sloppy and wet as Yoongi arched against the mattress. Namjoon couldn’t really help, he was too wrecked, but he reached out and held Yoongi’s hand until he gasped and seized up and arched, spilling into Hoseok’s mouth.
“Holy shit,” Hoseok said, flopping on his back. “You guys, seriously. I can’t do anything else today. I’m done.”
“Naps,” Yoongi said. “Hydration. Take out.”
“I’m going to need another shower,” Namjoon said. “But I think I need functioning legs for that.”
Yoongi laughed. “Was it okay?” he asked. “Not everyone likes it.”
“More than okay,” Namjoon reassured him. “But maybe we can practice a lot more to be sure?”
“Please,” Hoseok said. “Not all of us have your stamina.”
Yoongi grabbed the blanket and pulled it around his waist, rolling into Hoseok’s arms. “That’s okay,” he said. “We have plenty of time to practice.” He held his arm up, and looked at Namjoon, who got the hint and snuggled in under his arm.
“I love that,” Namjoon murmured.
“What?” Yoongi asked. He stroked Namjoon’s hair, back and forth, gentle as anything.
“I don’t know, just that this is my life now. This with you guys. It’s not temporary.”
“You can’t get rid of us,” Hoseok said. “Sorry.”
But Namjoon didn’t answer, because he was already drifting off.
As Namjoon slept, he dreamed of an infinite path of stars. There was a bright and shining moon hanging low in the dark sky, spiraling around a golden sun, and he was walking and walking and then floating or swimming, and maybe he was in the ocean at some point, but he wasn’t afraid. He didn’t know where he was going or what the plan was, but he was just ready to go wherever the universe wanted to take him.
………………….
[epilogue]
Namjoon finished his military service six months before Hoseok.
He went after he, Hoseok, and Yoongi had been together for just over a year. The company they’d been working for had started making noises about not wanting to sign him on as a permanent employee until his service was over because they didn't want to sign him and have him leave. Yoongi had been hired on as a full time producer a few months back, and they were talking about moving Namjoon to write with some foreign artists, translating English lyrics to Korean for some upcoming singles.
So Namjoon went-- he couldn't see the point of waiting, and he didn't want to squander the goodwill he'd developed at work. He was still writing his own music and the connections he'd made there could only help him. Getting it out of the way meant he could focus on the job.
When he decided to go, Hoseok said, “I’ll go too, Namjoonie, there's no point in us all being apart even longer.”
“But your dancing--” Namjoon had protested, but he’d felt guilty about how much he liked the idea.
“I’m not sure the Republic of Korea can put my body through worse than what I’m doing now daily. And, you know. I could use the money.” Hoseok’s teaching gigs were in a lull and he kept getting offered low paying gigs “for exposure” like he could buy groceries with that. “And I’m getting old enough that people are asking about it. It’s fine Namjoon, it’s time.”
“Okay,” Namjoon said reluctantly. “I’m going to miss you so much, even though I’ll be gone too.” He pulled Hoseok into a hug and whispered, “I love you. Take care of yourself.”
He felt, rather than heard, Hoseok stiffen in surprise and start sniffling, muffled tears against Namjoon’s neck.
“Awww, baby,” Yoongi had said, pretending to be unaffected, but Namjoon could see how big his eyes had gotten. “It goes quicker than you think. We’ll all be back together before you know it.”
Yoongi was right. Namjoon’s service was pretty easy; he’d passed the test to qualify as an English translator and he was able to stay in Ansan, close enough that he was a train ride away from Yoongi. After his basic training was done, he came home most weekends. It was weird and mostly really boring, teaching English to uninterested kids fresh out of school, but it went by quickly enough.
Hoseok wasn’t as lucky; he was assigned patrol duty on a naval base in Busan, which mostly seemed to involve tons of walking and looking serious while holding a rifle. He only came home a few times, and only one of those times was while Namjoon was home. Being Hoseok, he never complained, and Namjoon got the sense that he’d impressed his unit with his dedication and diligence. But there was no missing the sense of loneliness in his calls and letters.
After Namjoon got back and before Hoseok did, he and Yoongi found an apartment for the three of them. It was a two bedroom, with one bedroom that was so tiny it was a good thing they were only going to use it for a studio. They sent Hoseok pictures of it, and he seemed excited, but also very, very anxious just to get there. Yoongi was so thrilled about the prospect of picking out furniture and lighting and organizing the space that Namjoon just let him have at it; their tastes were similar enough that he mostly agreed with his choices anyway.
They’d tried to order a bigger bed from an American retailer online, but Seoul apartments weren’t really built for massive Western-style beds. Once Yoongi took the measurements and realized they’d barely have room to move, he immediately began researching nice, memory foam portable mattresses that they could fold up and put away during the day. “If my 80 year old great grandmother can sleep on the floor,” Yoongi had said wryly. “Then I think you can handle it, Namjoon-ah.”
Two weeks before Hoseok was set to come home, Yoongi’s grandfather’s 70th birthday celebration happened on the same week that Namjoon’s mother asked him to come home for a family dinner. So Namjoon kind of, sort of, got to bring him home to his family.
It wasn’t the same. He wasn’t out, hadn’t even considered it. His parents loved him, he had no doubt of that, but he had no idea what that kind of conversation looked like. Maybe he would eventually, and maybe Namjoon of a year ago would have agonized over it, but he was okay with how things were for now. It was hard, not being able to talk to them about his relationship, but less hard than having to explain latent bisexuality and polyamory to his parents. Maybe he was getting lazy as he grew up, or maybe he was getting more comfortable with ambiguity. Maybe it was all just too new to him and he didn’t have words for it.
Yoongi was out to his family, had been since the incident with his ex in Daegu. It was a source of strain between them, but that had lessened over the years. They knew about Hoseok, and that maybe helped a little, seeing Yoongi happy in a stable relationship. Hoseok’s family knew as well, and they were unquestioningly supportive of him. They didn’t know about Namjoon. It was...well, it was. Namjoon couldn’t pretend to be thrilled at being the secret boyfriend, but he didn’t really see any other way around it. It only stung occasionally, like now, when Yoongi dropped the news that he had been invited to come to Gwangju to Hoseok’s family home for his post-discharge celebration and Namjoon wasn’t.
They were in their old neighborhood, walking the streets they’d walked when they were younger, looking up at the streetlights blazing against the black sky. Their feet knew the way to the park, which was still there, even though neither of them had talked about where to go. They both sat in their familiar old spot on the picnic bench.
“Do you want me to stay home?” Yoongi offered. He meant it, Namjoon knew he meant it, but he couldn’t ask Yoongi to do that, not when they were both dying to see Hoseok again.
“You go,” Namjoon said. “Seriously. I’ll hold down the fort.” He pushed his foot into the grass. It was getting long, it needed to be mowed. It was longer under the swings, like the groundskeeper assigned to this park had gotten lazy.
“Don’t burn the place down while I’m gone,” Yoongi warned. “And keep the place clean, Hobi will want to see it perfect.”
Yoongi was the one who wanted it perfect, but Namjoon didn’t point that out. “Of course, hyung,” was all he said.
They sat for a few minutes and watched the stars. “Remember when you broke my heart here?” Yoongi asked casually.
“Wow,” Namjoon said, deadpan. “Wow, fuck you very much, hyung.”
Yoongi was wheezing in silent laughter, his shoulders shaking. “I can joke about it because we’re in love now, you see,” he finally got out.
“Mmmmm,” Namjoon hummed. He remembered every detail of that night, in the crystal clear way you remember only the most excruciating memories. “Did I ever say I was sorry? Because I am.”
Yoongi waved it off. “You were young and stupid. We both were.” He smiled up at the sky, looking a little distant.
Sidling next to him on the bench, Namjoon put his hand on Yoongi’s thigh. “Hey handsome,” he said, pitching his voice even lower, exaggeratedly seductive. “Come here often?”
Yoongi snorted. “You’re the worst,” he said fondly, but let himself be pulled into a quick, furtive kiss.
“But you love me,” Namjoon said.
“I guess,” Yoongi sighed, but he let Namjoon hold his hand the whole way home.
When Yoongi went to Gwangju to see Hoseok, he sent Namjoon a video of Hoseok coming home. He walked through the door looking thin and tan, his hair still cut short to his head. He cried when his parents and sister hugged him. He sobbed into his dog’s fur. When Hoseok got to Yoongi, he launched himself at him so hard that the video lurched and swooped as Yoongi almost dropped his phone. Namjoon heard him say, “Is that--?” and then the video jerked again and steadied with Hoseok’s face up against the camera. “Hi Namjoonie,” he whispered. “I’ll be home soon.”
After they’d hung up, Namjoon cried himself into a dehydration headache, chugged almost a gallon of water, then went out for a bike ride. It was a beautiful day, early enough in the spring that he still needed a coat, but the sun shining through hinted at the promise of summer making a return. Namjoon rode hard, a little faster than his normal leisurely pace, enjoying the burn in his legs and the feeling of being in his body.
When he stopped for a snack, he checked his phone They’d sent him a message, a picture of both of them doing v-signs and making kissy faces. It was so cute that Namjoon made it his background immediately. I’ll going home to them every night, he thought on his ride home, watching trees and people and sky scrolling past him. I have a desk job and I’m bisexual and I have two boyfriends and I just bought a jade plant that I’m trying to keep alive. I do laundry on Thursdays and the guy at the corner convenience store saves me the last beungobang when they’re running out. It wasn’t anything like the life he’d imagined when he was sixteen or eighteen, but it was his life, and it was okay.
He was loved. He had a place. He had Jimin and Taehyung and Seokjin and Jungkook, who had just started his service as a Marine.Namjoon had all that even before he’d gotten together with Hoseok and Yoongi, he realized with a start. He’d made this place all of himself, the plant and the job and the friends he’d stitched together to make this little life of his. It felt like a massive revelation in the quietness of his soul. Namjoon buried his face deeper into his scarf as his eyes pricked with tears. His life, so tiny and so infinitely important at the same time, but crafted with his own hands, and his own heart.
Finally, within himself, he was home. And when the front door clicked open a few days later, Hobi’s laughter spilling through before he did, Yoongi unable to keep the joy from his face, Namjoon knew that they, too-- they were all, finally--
Home.