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"Fubuki, I would like to have a conversation with you." Kidou spoke as he climbed to the roof of the caravan to join Fubuki in the middle of the night.
Everyone else was asleep and this was the place where those who were unable to could find a bit of solitude. What Kidou didn't know however was that it was Atsuya who was around this time and not Shirou.
"Sure, what is it?" Atsuya said in his best imitation of Shirou's voice. He was curious about what the other had to say.
The night was chilly and quiet and it felt almost as if they were isolated from the world; the perfect timing to have a serious conversation.
Kidou remained in silence for a moment, "I'm not certain how to bring up this topic to you."
"Huh? What? Did something happen?" Atsuya inquired. It was unlikely for Kidou to act like that.
"It's difficult to say," Kidou said and looked at the stars in deep thought. He hesitated for a moment then spoke, "Fubuki, I've heard about it... about Atsuya..."
Atsuya frowned and looked away. This topic... "That damn asshole spoke, didn't he?" He turned back at Kidou, looking more serious than than ever.
"Don't blame your Hakuren teammates for this. I was the one inquiring," Kidou said staring back at him. He could understand the other being upset. "Besides no one else has found out yet aside from myself. The truth is that I could tell you all were keeping a secret from the rest of the team, even when Endou dismissed it as simply being the bond that the Hakuren members have as teammates. I couldn't help investigating the matter..."
So now what? Would he have to say it? To say "it's been me, Atsuya, all along the one who's the striker"? Just like that? He could but...
"To be honest, I came here because I wanted to apologize to you. Both for prying into your personal life but also because even now, I can't truly tell the difference." Kidou said with a weak smile and looked down. "When I heard that you had another personality, I thought to myself 'it makes sense now why Fubuki would sometimes act different than in other times' but that is all about it. The guys from Hakuren... they seem to be able to tell you two apart. They must be good friends to both of you... Compared to that, I couldn't see it at all..."
Atsuya sighed to himself and laid down on his back. "You speak too much sometimes, you know?" He made a pause and looked at the stars, giving up on having to hide it any longer... "but you've found out so there's no need to hide it now, right? Yeah, it's true that we're different people but the focus right now is fighting against Aliea Gakuen, we didn't think that it was relevant to bring this up. That's all."
"It might be true that it isn't the main focus, and it might be wrong for me to say this after prying, but you're an excellent player, there is no mistake in that, and an important member of the team. If possible... I would like to be able to support you as a friend."
Atsuya could tell by the tone that Kidou's words were sincere. They've been playing together match after match ever since they joined the team; whenever it would be discussing strategies or new techniques, or simply talking about mundane things, they’ve quickly became friends with each other, and that was something that Atsuya couldn’t overlook; the guy next to him was his friend, the first friend he have had in a long time outside of Hakuren’s team and a friend who was willing to see his real self and possibly accept him. Perhaps, given the circumstances, talking to him wouldn’t be that bad...
A cold breeze brought Atsuya’s attention back to his surroundings. He sat down again and brought a hand to his chest, “Kidou, look at me,” he said turning at the other, “I don’t know what you have or haven’t been told but… I am Atsuya .”
Kidou looked at him and blinked, trying to collect his own thoughts. So… the person he has been talking to was actually Atsuya, he should’ve expected it and yet he didn’t… He nodded, “I see…”
“You aren’t getting it, are you?” Atsuya sighed, of course he didn’t expect this to be understood from the beginning, he’d have to be more clear on his words than he already was… “This is why I didn’t plan to talk about this topic… Kidou, I’m the person you talk to half of the time. Me, Atsuya. My brother… Shirou… he’s a defender and I’m a forward. I’m the striker . Still, he wants to play with everyone, that’s why—”
“—you play during the matches, is that so?” Kidou interrupted, “I heard about that part.”
“Yeah, the two of us want to play even if it means mostly one gets to do it…” Atsuya sighed, placing a hand on his chin and looked at the sky, “You know, Kidou? My brother and I are different. We don’t always agree with each other, and to be fair he’s hard to deal with sometimes but I’m still glad to be able to be here with him. You might’ve heard it, but we lost everything during the avalanche yet I’ve been given this chance to be here now and play soccer. I’m glad for that. And I know that he’s also glad that I’m here. Even so, everyone acts as if I’m a burden to Shirou most of the time, no one understands us.”
Kidou listened to the words carefully, it didn’t sound as if Atsuya was as uncaring as he have heard, in fact he just seemed to be the same person that he was used to, his friend and teammate, maybe it was as Atsuya stated—that this was the person he talked to and not who he thought that it was. And perhaps everyone was just misinterpreting Atsuya the same way as he did or maybe the other hasn’t found the chance before to talk about such a deep matter to anyone...
“Atsuya,” he began, “I don’t believe you’re being a burden. From what I can tell, you sound like you care a lot about your sibling. I can see where others might come from, I’ve heard about how everyone is worried about Shirou being able to play on the field more; on how he might feel about everyone depending on you and not him, even unknowingly. I might not know the full story but I think that there might be more to it than meets the eyes.”
“Yeah…” Atsuya said to himself, he didn’t think he’d ever have this type of conversation with anyone, it was odd but kind of comforting at the same time... “It’s always, ‘ think about Shirou ’ as if I wasn’t the one who understands him better than anyone else. I’m the one who’s closest to him, I know how he feels. I know he often feels lonely even though I'm right here with him; and I know he wants to have a place to belong to… if being in Raimon allows us to have a place where we're being needed then I want to be the perfect striker who makes sure that place is never lost. As simple as that.”
“As I thought, you do care a lot about your sibling,” Kidou reaffirmed to himself. “I feel that I can understand your situation a little better now.” He said with a smile as he placed his hand on Atsuya’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see it before. I wouldn’t have guessed you had this much on your mind.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.” Atsuya said to himself. “No one else knows about this so keep it to yourself. Don’t tell anyone, not even Shirou. I don’t think he has been listening to the whole conversation, and even if he has, he probably won’t remember most of it. Some of these are things he needs to realize by himself.”
“I see, there are even things that you don’t share with each other,” Kidou whispered to himself. “I’ll do that, don’t worry. I don’t plan to tell anyone about this conversation,” he nodded.
“You don’t tell everyone everything, do you? It’s the same thing. You better don’t!”
“I won’t,” Kidou reassured. “Though, I’m glad that you trust me enough to tell me this.”
“It’s fine,” Atsuya affirmed with a weak smile. He felt better after letting it out. “Anyway, Kidou! Let’s do some practice! I want to level up my Eternal Blizzard!”
“Right now? In the middle of the night?” Kidou asked while puzzled.
“If not now, then when? We could have a match tomorrow.”
Kidou laughed to himself, even though he had pried into his friend’s life, the results weren’t bad at all, in fact he managed to learn a bit more about the other; and perhaps—he thought to himself—he had now gained a good friend, a friend who trusted him and that he could trust as well, a type of friendship that would be hard to break…