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A Rose By Any Other Scent

Chapter 8: Heart-Shaped Box

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Keith ached down to his bones, every muscle in his body sore and tired as he flopped down onto the bed of his Marmora-Issued bunk. The room was even smaller than his little empty room back on the castle, but the bed was made for Galra so it was massive compared to his lithe form and left him plenty of room to flop out onto the mattress. 

He was tired. He’d been on mission after mission lately, and when he didn’t have work the only things there were to do around here were sleep and do research for the next upcoming job. He was exhausted, and was starting to think he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up this pace before something broke. Probably him.

Fuck. What was he doing? Just working for the sake of working? For the sake of distracting himself from his own thoughts? Because he had nothing else he could do, and nowhere else he even halfway belonged?

This - this was why he didn’t sleep much. Keith couldn’t stand being trapped in his head with his own thoughts, and he’d kill for some white noise he could concentrate on instead. The sound of a fan, some music, the wood of his shack creaking under the wind. Anything would be better than this sterile space station silence that seemed to permeate the very core of his being, chilling him cold to the bone.

He didn’t know how long he laid there, didn’t know if he fell asleep or just dozed fitfully. All he knew was he was blinking awake to the sound of his comm pinging, Kolivan’s face appearing through his communicator and wrenching him out of his “rest.”

Oh shit, what was wrong now? Was there already another mission he needed to be coherent for? He wasn’t sure he could do it. He was also pretty sure he couldn’t say “no” even if that was the case.

Kolivan looked less serious than usual, if his face was even capable of that, and instead of the strict firm voice he usually used his tone was almost exasperated. 

“You have a visitor,” he said coolly.

“A what now?” Keith asked, eyebrows twisting together in confusion. 

“One of your paladins has… Made himself comfortable. He could not be dissuaded from seeing you, and as such I’ve directed him towards your quarters.”

Keith sat up in his bed, grogginess and confusion swirling through his head and making the idea of one of the paladins coming to see him seem almost incomprehensible. No, this made sense. It must be Shiro, right? He had to have something he needed to say to Keith, maybe even information for a new mission that couldn’t be delayed.

Ah, but if that was the case, wouldn't he have just contacted Kolivan directly and left it at that? What could be so important -

Kolivan’s communication shut off at the same time Keith’s door slid open, and Keith choked on a gasp when he was greeted with the sight of Lance storming through his doorway to enter the room.

“L-Lance?” Keith stuttered for just a moment, rising to his feet. “What’s going on? How did you even get here?”

Lance ignored his words, such a fierce and determined look on his face that for a second when he approached Keith wondered if Lance was going to hit him.

He did rather the opposite instead. Lance grabbed Keith by the shoulder and hauled him in for a hug, crushing their bodies together, wrapping his arms around Keith’s back and burying his face in his neck.

“Fuck,” Lance swore into his hair. “Fuck, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you, I almost forgot what you smelled like.”

Keith was stiff with surprise for a moment, but when Lance’s cappuccino scent hit his senses it was all Keith could do not to melt into his arms. God… it really had been months since he’d seen Lance. He’d forgotten how wonderfully soothing his scent was, forgotten how it could make him feel; soft and warm and safe like he’d never been in his whole life.

Hesitantly, but somehow also without thought, Keith’s arms wrapped themselves around Lance’s shoulders. Lance let out a breath when he did, broken and shaky, and his grip around Keith’s waist tightened just a fraction. 

They stood like that for a long moment, and it was only after Lance’s grip finally loosened and he stepped back that Keith remembered he was supposed to be angry at him.

“What- what are you doing here, Lance? How did you even GET here?” Keith asked, trying to summon even an ounce of the rage he’d felt when he left the castle and finding himself too exhausted and relieved to see Lance again to be able to find any of it.

Lance gave him a lopsided little smirk. “Did you forget? Red’s been here before. All I had to do was ask him to show me the way.”

‘Him?’ Weren’t all of the Lions girls? - Whatever it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Lance was, for some ungodly reason, here in the Marmora base, in Keith’s own room, standing not two feet in front of him with a look of certainty and determination that he only ever wore on the battlefield. 

“Keith…” Lance said, softer. His hand reached over to take one of Keith’s, giving it a tiny squeeze as he implored him. “I’m here to apologize. And more importantly, I’m here to bring you home. Even if - even if you don’t forgive me, even if you can never stop being mad at me, I don’t care. I’m bringing you home with me, where I know I can keep you safe.”

Keith’s heart stuttered in his chest, and he had to blink tears out of his eyes. “Lance…”

Lance didn’t let him find any words. “Keith. I feel like I need to explain myself, and why I reacted so poorly when I realized you were an omega. Can I? Can you give me that chance, to apologize to you?”

Slowly, Keith nodded, and Lance led him to sit on the bed by the grip he still had on his hand. He didn’t let go as they sat down, looking at Keith directly in his eyes. 

He took in a deep breath, running his free hand through his hair as he collected his thoughts. “Okay, so. I guess, because of my scent blindness, I’ve never been attracted to anyone’s smell before. It’s always been because of how people look, and how people act and who they are that’s drawn me to them. But then, all of the sudden, there was this new factor I’d never considered before. You… you smell SO good, Keith. But the thing is, it wasn’t JUST your scent that was affecting me, of course it wasn’t. It was everything you are, how cute and strong and stubborn and sexy and incredible you are all around as a person, and all of those reasons are why I was so ready to court you, even though we were both alphas. 

“And then it turned out you WEREN’T an alpha. And it occurred to me, for the first time in my entire life, that maybe scents and pheromones were like… an important factor of attraction, you know? And I wondered if it mattered TOO much, I wondered for a second if it was the main factor that had been drawing me to you, and the thought of not really liking you just scared me SO MUCH. I panicked, and I said those awful sexist hurtful things, and I just. I need you to know that the reason I spent so much time with you had nothing to do with your scent, or your being an omega, and everything to do with how… How brave, and confident, and cool, and sweet you really are underneath that smell. And I’m sorry for how I made you feel, and I need you to know that I’m just full of shit, Keith. I’m full of so much shit, and I’m so stupid, and I hurt the last person in the whole universe I wanted to see in pain. I was confused, and surprised, and an idiot, and I… God, Keith. I’m just so sorry.”

Keith took a moment to process all that, gently biting his lip and glancing down and away from Lance’s genuine eyes. “I… should probably explain why I got so upset with you, too.”

Carefully, he composed himself.

“I just… You were like, the first person I had ever met who didn’t care I was an omega, Lance. You never treated me like one, never expected me to defer or submit to you, always expected me to be nothing less than your absolute equal. And I needed that, Lance. Especially when Shiro… When Shiro was gone, and I had to take over Black for him? You were the one that made it seem like it was natural and obvious I should take over as leader of Voltron, and... Being and omega, I had never expected anyone to want me to lead or make decisions about anything. And there you were, supporting me, telling me I could do it, not caring that I was an omega… But it turned out to be a lie. You… it felt like, you only trusted me BECAUSE you thought I was an alpha, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t take it.”

When he glanced back up Lance was wincing like he’d been sucker punched, and he squeezed Keith’s hand once more. “Fuck. I really fucked that up, didn’t I? Shit Keith, you know I don’t care about that, right? I was scent blind, I couldn’t even tell who was or wasn’t an omega to begin with, why would I ever care about class structures and shit like that? I never looked down on you because there’s nothing about you to look down ON, Keith! Even if I had known from the very beginning, nothing about us would have changed.” 

He paused, considering. “Okay, at the beginning when I hated you because of how jealous of you I was, that probably would never have happened. If I’d known you were an omega I probably… I probably would have been hitting on you from the beginning, come to think of it. Which is also pretty sleazy, but I’m still sure I would have supported you in Black no matter what.”

Keith bit down on a chuckle, ducking down his head to hide it. “Yeah, that… I probably wouldn’t have reacted well to you constantly hitting on me like you used to do to Allura.”

Lance was smiling softly, and he gave Keith’s hand another light squeeze, like he was reassuring himself Keith was really still there. “I know. I can’t say that would have been better, but… At least I wouldn’t have hurt you like this.”

Keith took in a deep breath, thinking carefully over Lance’s apology. The truth was, knowing about Lance’s former scent blindness, he’d already guessed a lot of what he'd said. But without confirmation from Lance himself there was no getting rid of the storm of doubts and what-ifs running through Keith’s head and convincing him that Lance had never liked him to begin with, and he’d been too weak to fight them off and forgive Lance. But now, with the alpha here, holding his hand and looking into his eyes, it was impossible to doubt his words. Lance really meant everything he had just said, really was sorry, and… And Keith had missed him so, so much.

“I… I’m sorry, too,” Keith eventually said. “I never gave you a chance to explain yourself, because… Because I already knew if I let you, I’d forgive you. And I wasn't ready to be done being mad yet. I needed to come here, I NEEDED to leave Voltron. And forgiving you would have meant coming home, where… Where you’d be the only thing I have.”

“Keith…” Lance said, softly. “There’s nothing for you here, either. At least back in the castle you have friends who care about you, and.” He swallowed thickly. “And if you need to fight that badly, if the call to action really does go down all the way down to your soul, then you can just take over Red again. I don’t CARE anymore, I don’t care if I’m stuck in the castle with Coran all day, I just want you to come home and stop killing yourself over this stupid organization that doens’t even care whether you live or die.”

Keith’s eyes were once again welling up with tears, and he finally gave Lance’s hand a squeeze in return. “I don’t… I can’t take Red from you, Lance. And believe it or not I’m doing GOOD here, I’m really making a difference in this war! I can’t just…”

Lance sighed, quick and deep. “Keith… Matt told us about Naxela. I can’t leave you here. I can’t let you do something like that again.”

“Beta bitch dickhead,” Keith muttered. “I made him PROMISE not to tell, too.”

Lance rolled his eyes, leaning back on Keith’s bed to rest his weight on his free hand. “Well, I’m glad he did! The second I heard I climbed in Red to come see you, you know. I can’t… I can’t lose you, Keith.”

Keith nodded, because he didn’t know what else to say. “I… I can’t lose you either, you know. What do you think I was ready to die for back then, anyway? It wasn’t just because the universe needed Voltron, it was… it was because I needed you, too.”

Lance gave him a weak smile. “Looks like we’re both pretty pathetic, then, huh? You don’t even know what a wreck I was while you were gone.”

Tentatively, he reached out his hand, slowly bringing it to Keith’s face to sweep a lock of hair out of his eyes and brush it behind his ear. Then, quite suddenly, he gave a dramatic sigh, scratching at the back of his neck. 

“WELL. I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking exhausted.”

Keith nodded again, feeling, if anything, even more drained than when he’d stepped into the room in the first place. Which was saying a lot. “Yeah… me too.”

Brother than before, Lance cheerfully announced, “Well then, I think it’s obvious, don’t you?” And then he lunged forward to tackle Keith to the bed, splaying them both out onto the huge mattress. “Clearly, it’s time for a nap.”

“What?” Keith laughed, but he allowed Lance to pull his body close enough to snuggle, even burying his face in Lance’s neck for a deep inhale of his strong alpha scent. “After all that, you think now’s the time to sleep?”

“What else would we do?” Lance asked into the top of Keith’s head, where his nose was currently buried in his hair. “We haven’t agreed on you coming home with me yet, and I’m too tired to keep arguing, so. Let’s sleep on it.” He paused. “And then, afterwards, let’s take a shower. You, uh. You kind of need one wicked badly, sweetheart.”

Keith couldn't help the chuckle that rumbled out of his throat. “Okay, okay. A nap, and maybe a bath, and then we have to talk again.”

“That’s fine,” Lance agreed. “But for now... please? Just get some rest? For me?”

Keith nodded, letting his eyes slide closed. “Just for a little while,” he said. 

Little did he expect, with Lance by his side, he slept harder and longer than he had in years.