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You're My Hearts Religion

Summary:

The title sucks but it's the best thing that came into my mind, hope y'all like it!

Notes:

I'm aware that almost no one apart from me cares for Dybain, but i love them so much! I was inspired by a beautiful Russian fairytales called Marya Morevna, that i loved as a child. If you have any idea or pairing you want me to write all you have to do is ask! Also English is not my native language, so if you notice any mistake please tell me, and kudos and comments are always appreciated obviously!
Oh i have a tumblr too, come and say hi!

Work Text:

A long time ago in a Russian kingdom closer than you might think lived a tsar and his queen, with their sons Gonzalo, Lautaro, Federico and Nicolas.

The years passed and it was time for the old Tsar to hand over his kingdom to Gonzalo on his deathbed. The tsar instructed young Gonzalo to see that his brothers be properly married and taken care of while they were still fresh and young.

As the years passed, the now, tsar Gonzalo found himself walking in a garden on palace grounds with his two brothers. Out of nowhere a black cloud appeared covering the entire sky. As this happened Gonzalo instructed his brothers to retreat to the inside of the palace before the storm began. As soon as they all stepped inside the palace lighting flashed across the entire sky, thunder rattled the land, and rain covered the entire kingdom. Next thing they knew a flacon flew through a window and as he landed he turned into a handsome prince. He looked at Lautaro then Gonzalo and asked for his hand in marriage. Gonzalo accepted the proposal as did Maria and they were married shortly thereafter and the falcon carried him back to his kingdom.

One year to the day Gonzalo found himself walking through a palace garden with the remaining two siblings. Just as did happen the previous year a black cloud appeared and Gonzalo and his brothers ran back to the palace to escape the storm. When they got back to the palace the storm arrived but this time an eagle flew in turning into a handsome young prince. He looked at Lautaro then Gonzalo and asked for his hand in marriage. Gonzalo approved as Federico did and they were quickly married after which the eagle carried Federico back to his kingdom.

One year to the day of the second meeting of a prince Ivan was once again walking in a palace garden with his youngest and only remaining brother Federico. The same turn of events that occurred in the previous years once again came to pass. As they got back inside the palace a raven appeared immediately after the storm started. As the raven landed he turned into a handsome prince. He looked at Nicolas then Gonzalo and asked for Nicolas’ hand in marriage. Gonzalo did not hesitate in giving them his blessing and Nicolas did not hesitate in accepting the proposal. They were married and the raven carried Nicolas off to his kingdom.

Tsar Gonzalo now lived alone in his immense palace lonely and without a family to look after. He missed his siblings so much that one day he told his princes and boyars that he was leaving the kingdom in their care and that he was leaving the kingdom for an indefinite period of time.

He mounted his horse and rode off. He rode up to a field of a slain army of soldiers. This army happened to be defeated by the army of Paulo Dybala, which happened to be resting in a field of white tents. There he met Paulo and made it clear to him that he came in peace. He invited him into his tent for a feast and he ended up staying with him for three days and nights. Both realized that they were madly in love and set a date to marry in Paulo's kingdom. For years they lived happily and in peace.

One day Paulo came to Gonzalo and told him that he was going to have to leave to battle an army in another portion of his kingdom. When Paulo departed he told Gonzalo that he was in charge of the kingdom until he got back and not to enter the chamber at the tallest turret in the castle under any circumstances.

While Paulo was gone he wandered the castle for days looking into every room wondering when his love was going to come back. He remembered that in the tallest turret there was something inside that he was not supposed to see. Burning with curiosity he ran to the uppermost chamber in the turret and unlocked the door. Inside he found a giant lying sprawled on the floor with his arms and legs chained to the floor with seven iron chains.

The giant pleaded to Gonzalo that he had food or drink in ten years. Gonzalo feeling pity brought the giant a pale of water, which the giant drank in one gulp, he asked for two more and when he finished the last one he got up and broke the chains like they were made of paper This was no ordinary giant this was the one and only Sergio the Deathless.

He told Gonzalo that he would never see his husband again and like a whirlwind flew out of the window. Sergio flew across the land and swept up Paulo who was returning home from battle and carried him off to his kingdom.

Gonzalo was depressed and he sat in the castle crying and weeping for his mistake and the loss of his love. Time passed and wounds healed but he still missed his husbans so he decided to go rescue him.

He rode on his horse for three days and on the third he saw a beautiful castle in front of him. Next to him perched on an oak tree was a falcon that at the sight of Gonzalo flew near and turned into his first brother-in-law. They went inside the castle where his brother Lautaro was there to meet him. Gonzalo stayed with them for three days and told them that he had to leave. He left his silver spoon to them so they would know how he was doing and rode off on his horse.

He rode for three more days and on the third day he came upon another castle that was more beautiful than the first. Looking at the immense structure he sat on his horse next to a large oak. In the oak was perched an eagle who upon seeing Gonzalo flew down and turned into the second brother-in-law. They went inside the castle and met with Gonzalo's brother Federico who was delighted to see him. Gonzalo stayed in the castle for three days and said that he would have to leave because he was on a quest to find his husband Paulo. To see how he was doing the two asked Gonzalo to leave his silver fork. He did as was asked and left.

Riding non-stop for three days more he came upon another castle that was more beautiful than both of the ones he stayed at before, put together. In a large oak was perched a falcon who swooped down to Gonzalo and turned into the third brother-in-law. He invited Gonzalo in and Nicolas the youngest of the brothers hugged Gonzalo since he had not seen him in so long. Gonzalo spent some days with them and rode off leaving them a silver tobacco box so that they could keep track of him.

He traveled for other three days before coming up to the kingdom of Sergio the Deathless. Gonzalo bravely walked into the palace grounds and found Paulo who warned him that Sergio was out on a hunt. Gonzalo took Paulo on his horse and rode off with him hoping to make it home.

Sergio returning from the hunt was informed by a horse of his that Gonzalo had taken Paulo. Hearing this news he mounted the magical horse and caught up to Gonzalo and Paulo in a flash. Sergio swept up Paulo and told Gonzalo that he would not kill him since he took pity on him in the past.

Defeated he sat on his horse and thought about his loss. Wanting to have his husband back he rode back Sergio's palace to once again rescue Paulo.

When he found Paulo again he warned him that Sergio would be back soon. Gonzalo ignored him warning and took him and jumped on his horse.

Sergio came back and was informed by his horse that Gonzalo had taken Paulo again. Mounting the magical horse he caught up to the two escapees just as fast as he did previously, took Paulo, and told Gonzalo that if he was ever to do that again that he would kill him.

This time Gonzalo returned and waited several days until Sergio left the palace to go in and rescue Paulo. Gonzalo found Paulo and he told him to get on the horse and ride off with him. Paulo was reluctant and he told Gonzalo that he would be killed if Sergioi found them again. Gonzalo told him that it was better to be dead than to be without him and he responded by getting on his horse and riding off with him.

Sergio returned and found that Paulo was again missing and went after them in a fury. He caught them, grabbed Paulo, sliced Gonzalo into many small pieces, and put the pieces into a barrel, which he threw into deep sea.

As this was happening the spoon, fork, and tobacco box all turned black. The brothers-in-law all realized that something very terrible had happened to Gonzalo. The eagle flew to the sea and grabbed the barrel carrying it to shore. The falcon flew off to obtain the water of the living and the raven flew to obtain the water of the dead. The falcon and the raven flew back to the eagle that was waiting for them. The three of them broke the barrel and put Gonzalo's body back together piece by piece. Next the raven poured the water of the dead on the severed pieces and they fused back together. Then the falcon poured the water of the living on the body and Gonzalo came back to life. Gonzalo thanked his brothers-in-law and walked back to Sergio's palace.

When Sergio left in the morning Gonzalo snuck inside and found Paulo and told him to find out where Sergio bought his magical horses. When Sergio returned Paulo waited some time and asked him the question. He answered that he got the horses from Mourinho, a wizard who lived on the other side of the River of Fire, which his magical handkerchief helped him cross.

While Sergio slept Paulo took the magical handkerchief and gave it to Gonzalo and told him to go to Mourinho's house on the other side of the River of Fire.

Gonzalo departed for Mourinho's house and soon enough he was at the River. He waved the magic handkerchief and a crystal bridge rose up from a low and stable bridge and he was able to cross safely.

Gonzalo walked and walked and was very hungry. He came upon a bird with her offsprings. He thought of having them to eat but the mother told him not to eat them because he might need their help later, and Gonzalo walked away.

Still hungry Gonzalo came up to a beehive from which he wanted to take some honey. However the queen bee flew to him and said not to eat any honey since he might need her help in the future, and so he walked on.

Not having eaten for a long time he crossed paths with a lioness and her cub. Gonzalo wanted to kill the cub for a meal but was told not to by the lioness since he might need their help someday, and he walked on.

He walked for a long time, exhausted from severe hunger and eventually made it to Mourinho's house. He met with him and told him that he would serve him. Mourinho told him that he would work in his stables and if one horse escaped he would cut off his head and put it on a stake next to all of other heads. She would reward him though if he could manage to keep her horses at bay. The wizard made him a meal, told him to eat, sleep, and that he would be starting his work in the morning.

In the morning before waking Gonzalo Mourinho told all of his horses to run away from Gonzalo once they got in the meadow.

After Gonzalo woke he took the horses as instructed to the wizard. As soon as they arrived all the horses ran off in different directions. Gonzalo could do nothing as he sat in the middle of the wood. Then the same birds that Gonzalo spared swooped out of the sky forcing all the horses back to their stables.

Mourinho angered at his horses asked them what happened. They told him they had no choice because the birds would have plucked their eyes out. He instructed them next time to go into the deepness of the forest.

Gonzalo woke up the next day and took the horses out and they ran into the depths of the forest as soon as they had the chance. The lioness , her cub and an army of lions ran into the forest and chased the horses back to their stables.

Mourinho was once again angry at his horses since they were back in their stables in the morning. This time he told them to hide in the sea once Gonzalo took them out.

Gonzalo woke up and took the horses out and sure enough they ran off into the sea. Then a swarm of bees flew at the horses that were standing in the sea and stung them until they returned home. One of the bees flew to Gonzalo and told him to go back to Mourinho's house but so that he does not know that he’s there and hides in the stables. The bee also told him to find a bad looking horse and flee at night. Gonzalo did as he was told and rode off on the ugly horse towards the River of Fire.

He reached the River, waved the handkerchief, and crossed the crystal bridge that appeared out of nowhere. The next morning Mourinho found that Gonzalo had taken one of his colts and he rode after him. When he came up to the River he tried to cross it but fell in and was never heard from again.

Once Ivan led his horse it suddenly turned into a strong and beautiful one, Gonzalo mounted him and rode to the palace of Sergio the Deathless. Once he reached the palace he found Paulo and put him on his new magical horse and rode off.

Sergio found out from one of his own magic horses that Gonzalo had come back and took Paulo. Furious, Sergio mounted the horse and charged after them.

When Sergio caught them Gonzalo's horse struck Sergio in the head and killed him with that blow. Paulo mounted Sergio's horse and he and Gonzalo rode back to their kingdom stopping to celebrate at each of his brothers-in-law castles.

Gonzalo and Paulo unified their two kingdoms, which they reigned over happily ever after.

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