Work Text:
“Come to the pumpkin patch with us, Sansa! We’ll pick pumpkins and take a hay ride and drink apple cider! And they have a corn maze! Wouldn’t it just be so much fun if we dragged you to the middle of it and then abandoned you? HA HA HA VERY FUNNY ASSHOLES!”
Sansa screamed into the neverending void of cornstalks. A murder of crows squawked at her disapprovingly and flew off.
“Oh great... crows. They’ll probably peck my eyes out whenever I die in this maze. I can just see the obituary now. Sansa died as she lived, surrounded by hundreds of acres of corn. Sadly she never had a good boyfriend in her life and never knew the intense joy of a mind-blowing orgasm brought about by a muscular handsome man with luscious lips. The crows picked her corpse clean, so while we have nothing but bones to bury, we do hope you all attend her funeral service anyway. In lieu of flowers, please donate vibrators to the Sansa Stark Memorial Orgasms For Every Woman Charity Fund. ”
Sansa sighed as she turned into another dead end. Of course, having been with a group at the time, she hadn’t thought to grab her own map when she entered the maze. Now with no good sense of direction and the daylight waning, she was starting to get worried. She hadn’t encountered another person since her supposed friends had left her alone. As the night loomed, she was starting to get irrational flashbacks to the time Arya made her watch Children of the Corn.
Not wanting to let some weirdo kids ritualistically sacrifice her, Sansa moved faster, taking turn after turn hoping the end of the maze was just around the corner. Not paying attention, she suddenly ran head-first into a very solid body. Wrapping her arms around the torso, she discovered it was the well-muscled chest of a man. Sansa couldn’t help herself - she had to squeeze him. Just a little. The man smelled clean and fresh and she kind of just wanted to stay wrapped around him forever. But instead, she dislodged herself and started apologizing.
“Oh my god, I am SO sorry. I was just trying to get out of this maze and I wasn’t paying attention...”
She trailed off as the man turned around. Seeing his face for the first time in the low autumn glow, she breathed a sigh of relief. With his dark curls, close-cropped beard, and wire-rimmed glasses, Sansa felt like she needed to steady herself against him for an entirely different reason.
“No, it’s fine. I’ve been trying to get out of this damn maze for like an hour, myself. Maybe we could help each other? I’m Jon, by the way.”
“Sansa,” she blushed, taking his offered hand in hers.
“Sansa,” he exhaled, testing the word on his luscious lips, “that’s a pretty name.”
An hour later the two exited the maze holding hands, two mind-blowing orgasms under her belt.