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This wasn’t abnormal by any means. Jirou often had difficulty falling asleep at night. She wasn’t an insomniac by any means, but having enhanced hearing definitely could make things difficult. Some nights, she’d be exhausted enough to simply pass out mere moments after collapsing in bed. Others, she’d lay awake, staring at the ceiling (or the back of her eyelids), doing her best to shut out the voices and sounds coming from the rest of the dorms.
Tonight, however, was different. Tonight, it wasn’t the voices or the creaking or even Ashido’s music that was keeping her awake.
It was the crying.
His crying.
Something about the sound seemed different from the other times she’d heard him cry, but she couldn’t quite place it.
With a sigh, Jirou sat upright, swinging her legs over the side of her bed. She rubbed her temples in an attempt to stave off the small headache growing there, walking to the bathroom in search of her trusty back up sleeping pills.
Wait. Realization hit her like a truck. He’s…
“...on the roof…”
The cool night air swept over the girl as she pushed the door open gently, not wanting to alert any of her “sleeping” classmates. She took a deep breath to steady herself and stepped out onto the roof of the dorm building.
What the hell am I doing? She hesitated after closing the door behind her, hand still gripping the doorknob. I don’t even know what’s wrong .
A soft sob to her right grabbed her attention and she carefully stepped towards the sound, peaking around the corner. He was sitting there, back against the small structure that housed the building’s A/C unit, legs pulled up with his face buried in his knees. She wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for the trademark black streak in his golden-blonde hair.
“Jamming Whey?” Jirou immediately cursed inwardly as the boy flinched at the name. Now’s definitely the wrong time for that nickname.
Silence returned between them, save for a few sniffles coming from the curled up form. She took a few steps forward, stopping when she saw him pull his legs tighter. “Kaminari, what’s wrong?”
Kaminari took a deep, shaky breath, then lifted his head and looked directly at her.
Her breath caught in her throat.
She’d seen him scared; the training camp and the USJ had shaken both of them in the moment. She’d seen him sad, especially after the disaster that was his midterm against the principal.
She’d never seen him like this…
His eyes were screaming with agony. He looked…broken.
It wasn’t long before he pulled his gaze away from hers, burying his face in his legs again. “W-what do you w-want, Jirou.”
“I…” What did she want? Why had she come up here in the first place. “I...heard you crying…” Her voice was little more than a whisper as she sat next to him, keeping some distance between them.
“Like you care…”
Even with her heightened hearing, those three words were barely audible.
But she heard them.
And they broke her heart.
Why her?
Of all the people to show up, why did it have to be her?
Kaminari’s grip tightened around his legs, sucking in a breath as the series of gashes on his calves throbbed painfully.
“Kaminari, I… I want to help…” He could hear the hurt in her voice. It was such an unusual sound from her that it almost, almost , made him look up again.
“You idiot…”
“Dummy…”
“Jamming Whey…”
A sob pulled its way through him, fresh tears spilling onto his jeans.
“T-that’s all I am, right?” His fists clenched around the legs of his pants. “It’s all I’ve ever been….”
“Kaminari, what the hell are you talking about?”
He turned his head just enough to look at her, tears still welling in his eyes. She was staring at him intently, eyes full of…. Fear? Concern? It was a look that tugged at his heartstrings and reminded him yet again why he’d fallen for her in the first place.
Part of him wanted, needed, to believe that look was genuine. He almost did believe it.
The silence stretched on, making Jirou equal parts frustrated and uncomfortable.
It was too much.
“Well, you obviously don’t want me here,” she turned, starting to stand, “so I guess I may as well try and get some sle-”
“Please…”
The word felt like a shard of ice in her chest. She turned: Kaminari hadn’t moved, but she could see his knuckles turning white from his grip on his jeans.
His head rose, and once more their gazes met. The pain in his eyes was still there, but there was also a plea. Don’t leave me alone.
She swallowed, trying to dispel the lump in her throat. This time, she sat next to him, back to the wall, their arms mere inches apart.
“If I stay, will you tell me what’s wrong?”
A minute passed. The boy took a few deep shaky breaths.
“Maybe.”
“It hurts, you know…” he gently wiped the last stray tears from his eyes. “You’d think after hearing it for years I’d be used to it by now, but…” Taking a deep breath, he glanced over at the girl. Confusion was painted across her face and she seemed to be at a loss for words. So he decided to keep talking.
“I was the joke guy in primary school and middle school, too. I had a knack for making people laugh, even when my jokes weren’t all that good. It felt good.”
A mirthless laugh escaped his lips. “Then, someone decided to try and scare the hell out of me. Harmless really, j-just a jump scare.” Kaminari held his hand up, letting a few sparks arc between his fingers. “I…It made me short circuit. I still didn’t have much control back then…”
His hand dropped back down to his side, resting limply on the ground between the two. “The laughter. It…it felt different from then on.” Another shaky breath. “Then the name calling started…”
Jirou’s breathing caught in her throat. “They...bullied you?”
Kaminari just shook his head. “Not on purpose… I know they weren’t trying to be hurtful or anything, but that… It still hurt…” He rubbed his eyes once again, falling silent.
A moment passed between the two students before Jirou spoke up. “Then what?”
He sat in silence a while longer, then shook his head. “I...never told anyone about this before...Not really sure why I’m telling you, to be honest.” Jirou felt her heart start racing and she shifted nervously. Wait, when did he grab my hand?
“I kept trying to play it off like everything was fine. Like it didn’t bother me at all. But it kept getting worse as the years went on. Then my grades were getting worse and the teasing got a little more personal and…” his voice trailed off. His free hand was rubbing the inside of his calf. “I-I had to find my own ways to cope…”
He knew he was going to regret this. She was gonna freak out about it and things were just gonna get worse and-
“Don’t worry, Jam- Kaminari,” Jirou’s voice snapped him back to the moment. Wait, when did she grab my hand? “I promise not to freak out, I just… I want to see…”
He closed his eyes and counted to five, trying (and failing) to calm his racing heart. Then, holding his breath, he slowly pulled up the leg of his jeans.
With his eyes closed, he couldn’t see her reaction. He could only hear her suck in a breath in surprise. “Oh my God…”
His eyes opened just in time to see her reach out, letting a slender finger gently trace one of the larger scars on his calf, taking care not to touch the few that were freshly bandaged. “How...how often…?”
“Once...maybe twice a week,” he answered honestly, looking away. The sadness in her eyes was too much to look at.
“And t-this was going on since middle school?” He nodded slowly.
He fully expected her to yell at him. To call him an idiot for not seeking help sooner. To tell him he needed to see a counselor or a professional.
He didn’t expect a near bone-crushing hug from his crush, whose face was now buried in his shoulder.
“Why didn’t you say something?” her voice was little more than a whisper. “I would have stopped if I had known.”
It was Kaminari’s turn to be at a loss. He’d just opened up to this girl, told her things he’d never told anyone else, and now she was the one crying on his shoulder?
So he did the only thing he could think of in that moment.
He hugged her back.
The sky was beginning to lighten when the two finally separated. Jirou returned to her original seat, while Kaminari stretched out his legs to a more comfortable position. Neither noticed their fingers gently intertwining yet again.
Jirou was the first to speak up. “Can you promise me something?”
“I...maybe?” he replied questioningly.
“Promise to let me know if you feel like you need to… you know…” she gestured towards his legs.
A soft smile spread across his lips. “I think I can do that.”
“Good.”
Silence.
“Also,” the girl turned her head away slightly, hiding her slight blush, “since I’m not gonna call you Jamming Whey any more, can… can I call you Denki?”
She swore she could hear his heart skip a beat or two. “I-I guess… Only if I can call you Kyoka.”
She turned back to face him, the smile on her face matching his.
“I’d like that.”