Chapter Text
Leia could already feel the panic rising through her body. Missing, Luke was missing. This was exactly what she feared. Again, the Force would have told her if he died during the speeder chase. Still, just like when Han was in this scenario, a thousand things could have gone wrong.
Luke could be lost. He could be captured. Or worse, he could have been in the middle of the woods dying from critical injuries. Leia could fix this immediately. She could use the Force to search this forest moon for him, but she feared such an attempt would alert Vader to where they were.
If it weren’t for Han holding her close, she would have started to free fall in panic.
This was one of the worst things about finding out that Luke was her brother. She worried for Luke before, but not like this. Now that he was family, she kept worrying about him just as she worried about Han and Ben. If Luke died, part of her would die with him.
“Do you remember where you last saw him?” Han asked.
“Yes,” Mara answered. “But he sped away from my line of sight before I could even see where he was going.”
With one hand running down the length of Leia’s arm, Han lifted his head to look at the entrance of the woods where Luke had disappeared. He stood quiet for a moment, assessing the situation. Earlier, Leia was willing to wait, as knowing that he remained safe with Mara put her at ease. Due to the Empire's presence on Endor, she wasn’t sure if she could afford to wait. She wanted to use the Force, but even if Luke was Force Sensitive - which was now highly likely- he lacked the training Leia and Mara had to catch her signal without being detected.
And the very last thing Leia wanted was to do anything to alert Darth Vader of her presence here, putting the whole mission in danger.
“We can’t just wait here and hope that Luke returns in one piece,” Cassian said. “We have already waited long enough.he longer we stand here, the more likely we are to get captured by the Empire. The mission will fail.”
“Not to mention,” Jyn added. “Luke might be seriously injured. If that is the case, time is critical. Standing here and preventing him from getting the care he needs could be disastrous in the end.”
“Then I think we should go,” Han said. “Don’t you agree,darling?”
This was Han’s subtle way of asking her what he should do without alerting the others that his choice would be based on Leia’s since it was her brother out there. Leia couldn’t help but smile just slightly despite the circumstance….always the caring and considerate husband.“I agree,” Leia answered.
The risk of Luke being out there alone in the woods injured without any help to tend to his injuries, along with the risk of him being captured, was enough to motivate Leia to leave the area. Plus, the longer they stood here, the more likely they were to be captured by the Empire. And if Leia and Han were captured, the consequences would be dire. They wouldn’t kill Han,but after the events of Bespin, Leia sensed her father was sure she would do anything to prevent another repeat.
The frightening thing was Leia knew he was absolutely right. If Vader used Han once again to bend Leia to their will, she could steady herself at the thought of him getting hurt, and erase Bespin from her mind. She could use her Jedi training to keep herself calm while they did their worst to the man she loved. But eventually the possible unspeakable things her father would do to Han would cause Leia to break. Her love was too strong for him to watch him suffer so much.
Leia couldn’t help but wonder when her father fell in love with her mother if he had the same problem. To be vulnerable so much that he was manipulated because he loved too hard. Could that have been the reason he fell to the Dark Side? The more Leia thought about her father, the more she realized she had in common with him.It frightened her that she could one day become him.
But he killed my mother, Leia reminded herself, I wouldn’t do that to Han.
“Alright,” Han said. “We’ll split up then....that way we could cover more area to find him. Jyn, Bodhi, Mara, Chirrut and Leia will go in one group with Artoo, Baze, Cassian, Chewie and I along with Goldenrod will go in the other.”
Leia frowned. She knew splitting up the group was a good idea. It would be easier to find Luke that way. But for a moment, the fears she had thought subsided about Han getting captured returned in full force. She knew it had to do with Luke being gone. Briefly, Bespin flashed in her mind once again. She felt her fingernails digging into the skin of the hand that was not holding Han’s to push down the rage coursing inside her body before she went into a tailspin.
The fear and anger only increased once she remembered that Han was captured right in front of her on Bespin, when she turned for one second. There is always a risk, no matter if I am there or not.
As if he was sensing her fears, Han pulled Leia closed to him once again. His lips pressed down gently on her forehead.
“I’ll be fine, darling,” he whispered to her soothingly. “How many times have I told you I am a survivor.That no matter what happens, I always come back to you?”
The statement did put Leia at ease. She thought about the many times Han was in trouble. The man could be bruised and broken and could barely walk from beatings, yet somehow he always had the resolve to hang on until Leia came to rescue him, or managed to escape. Leia would ask Han ever so often how the nine hells did he survive even the worst of his ordeals. With that corny smile, he would say, “My love for you darling, it always gets me through”
And it had been no different on Bespin than it was in any scenario. Vader was willing to go as far to use the force to rip Han limb from limb. He tortured Han with sadistic creativity using device that meant to sort matter. In the end he was frozen in carbonite. Carbon freezing was never meant for biological life. There was a strong chance he could have died from that, but somehow that love he had for Leia managed to help him to survive.
Now with Ben in the picture, and Han’s determination to be the father to his son that his own parents couldn’t, Leia knew he was unstoppable in any deadly scenario he had found himself in.
“Will it make you feel better if I said Chewie will tear apart anyone who tries to touch a hair on my head?” Han asked, interrupting Leia’s thoughts.
Chewbacca growled and nodded eagerly. The wookie should be used to his best friend becoming the Galaxy’s biggest damsel because of his status as “Leia’s mate”. However, Leia was pretty sure every time Han was kidnapped to bend the “Galaxy’s great hope” to whoever held him’s will, another century was added to the Chewie’s almost 1000 year life span.
Leia moved to the tips of her toes to wrap her arms around her husband.
“It absolutely will,” she said.
“And also if anything does happen to me,” Han added. “I got a beautiful Jedi heroine wife who will tear the galaxy apart to save me.” He dipped his head down and added with a whisper, “Besides, I think it would be good to talk to the wonder sibs over there about the whole Luke situation.”
Leia turned her eyes over to Jyn and Bodhi. She could see Jyn looking rather confused considering just an hour before she thought Leia had some secret feelings for Luke.
“Mara also suggested that idea.”
And once again, Leia knew it was a good one. Even if the situation was different, even if they weren’t siblings by blood, even if Galen Erso wasn’t an evil Sith Lord, they knew what it’s like to not know of each other's existence for years and were suddenly confronted with the fact they were family. They would know how Leia should approach this.
“Good….Red and I are on the same page,” Han said with a nod, “Well then, I think we should get going.”
Leia smiled and inched a little higher on her toes to kiss him, in case it would be a while before they reunited again.
“I love you,” She whispered against his lips.
Han only whispered back,“I know.”
The walk through the woods proved to be a slow one. It definitely had to do with the fact Jyn was pregnant and had a harder time keeping up speed. The stubborn side of her claimed she was fine but Leia, knowing full well the perils of carrying a child, knew she was lying.
Leia remembered how joyus it was to carry Ben. She was in awe of every bit of movement he displayed as he grew in the safe cocoon of her womb. Sometimes, when she was lying in bed she could see the skin of her stomach move as her son pressed his feet against the inner side of her abdomen. At times there were little flutters of movements, other times Leia would see wild vibrations (usually when Leia would tell a story of her exploits as a Jedi Knight in training or Han would engage in his favorite pastime of rubbing her pregnant belly). Leia was in awe how she grew along with Ben, and the idea that she was carrying new life inside her.
But there were things that were not so pleasant about being pregnant. For one, Leia was still dealing with the trauma that happened on Bespin. She battled with the information that Vader was her father, while trying to fight the nightmares of almost losing Han. The hormonal changes heightened her emotions, making it hard to deal with these feelings sometimes. There were times she had pains, in her legs, in her back and in her shoulders and the Force heightening her senses did not do her any favors. Not to mention the morning sickness that attacked in the first couple months.
Because of this, Leia knew there was no way Jyn was making it through this long trek through the woods without some discomfort. Finally, Bodhi, being the only family she had left, demanded she sit down for at least an hour.
“Fine,” Jyn growled. “Only because you played the brother card.”
Leia was eager to find Luke, but it was more important that Jyn didn’t strain herself because she was carrying a human inside her.
They found a quiet but hidden area in the woods to sit. Chirrut had used the time to do his daily meditation, his famous “I am one with the force, and the force is with me” mantra. Artoo decided to power down for a while. Mara stayed quiet, but Leia knew how worried she was about Luke. She could see Mara staring at a holophoto of her and the man she loved, wondering if he was going to be okay. Leia of all knew people that she should be comforting her and reassuring her that Luke was a survivor. She herself had been in this position many times before wondering if Han was going to come back to her. But Mara insisted she rather soothe herself than take advice so she listened to her friend. Leia tried to mediate herself, but with everything on her mind, her brother missing, Han nowhere near her, and wondering if Ben was still doing okay with them she couldn’t concentrate.
Besides, her eyes kept turning towards Jyn and Bodhi. The two of them were sitting and chatting about the child Jyn was going to bring into this big, beautiful, chaotic galaxy. Leia couldn’t keep up with Bodhi’s exciting chatter about the fact he was going to be an uncle. Leia sighed. The talk about Bodhi being an uncle was the very reason people suggested Leia talk to them about the revelation with Luke.
It made her think about Luke and Ben’s relationship for a moment. Just like Luke and Leia had an instant sibling connection without even knowing that the two of them shared a womb, Luke immediately felt as though he was an uncle figure to Ben. It was a combination of the fact that he always had a soft spot for children, a need to fill the void of his lost family who perished in the destruction of Alderaan, and a longing to have his own children someday. From bringing him gifts from his travels to spending hours hovering over the babe and making funny faces and voices, he loved making Ben smile.
Leia sighed. It was another terrible reminder of what was at risk once she told Luke the truth about his heritage. The only thing she could do is continue to hope that the statement he had said about standing by Leia no matter what in the wake of the revelation that Darth Vader was her father would hold once he learned he was her father too.
“Alright, you’ve been acting weird all day,” Jyn said finally “You have been making strange sideways glances at Luke. I thought it was you suddenly getting bored in your marriage with Han and starting to fancy him. But you and Han are still as nauseatingly affectionate as ever. Now, you are staring at Bodhi and I wistfully. So please stop hiding and tell me the truth because I am a spy….I will eventually find out your secret.”
Mara lifted her head from staring at her holopicture and nodded her head. It was time for Leia to do what she promised she was going to do and talk to the one person who, while their scenarios were much different, would understand what it was like to find a family they did not know about and suddenly finding out they had them.
“Fine,” Leia took a deep breath gathering her thoughts.
“Well whatever secret you are hiding,” Bodhi said as he opened the canteen holding his water, “it couldn’t be any worse than the secret that Darth Vader is your father.”
Leia swallowed. She remembered how difficult it was revealing that secret to her friends in the rebellion. At first, only a few close allies knew at first, people she could trust. Han, of course, as her husband, Luke who had heard the exchange, Mara who Leia found out was just as unsuspecting as her thinking Anakin Skywalker had been dead for all these years, and finally Biggs, her childhood friend. The idea that Leia could beassociated with a monster, one that was willing to hurt her and her mother if they didn’t take his side, and tortured and killed scores of people without even blinking…it was frightening to her. She feared how people would react to her. Would they still accept her amongst them, or believe deep down that she was a monster too?
But between the stress and her pregnancy, it eventually became a secret that was too much to carry. One day after a mission had gone awry and she was briefing what had happened, she broke down and cried in front of her friends in Rogue One. It was that moment in a tear-filled rage that she blurted out how scared she was that Ben would one day turn out to be Darth Vader.
When she realized what she had done, her chest tightened as the room started spinning and her body shook. She was falling into a tailspin and not even Han, who was in the room with her at the time rubbing her back, could ground her. But no one of them judged her or saw her differently. They had questions as to how it was possible, but they joined Han in comforting her. They had seen Leia and the incredible and heroic things she did and knew just because she had a monster’s blood in her veins, that didn't mean it defined her.
The heavy load was off Leia’s shoulders, knowing that if the ones who loved and cared about her could still see her as the true hero she had always been, then it didn’t matter what others thought of her. She got comfortable telling others, even people in the rebellion she wasn’t as close with her secret. Some gave her sideways glances, though most still saw her as the hero who took down the Death Star. They had to. She was their only hope. The one who would take down the Empire and bring back the Jedi.
It was true Luke had some things on his side that made him an important figure to the Rebellion. He was the adopted son of Bail Organa, a hero and a martyr. He had been in this fight since he was a teenager. And Leia knew he was going to do anything and everything to make sure he finished the war his father couldn’t. Luke had his heart and soul put into the rebellion. People knew how important this was to him…..but would it be enough when people found out he lived a lie and he was really the son of Darth Vader?
What happened now would probably shape the outlook of Luke and his reputation for the rest of his life the moment he learned the truth. She just hoped that everyone would show Luke the same kindness they showed her, knowing how much he’d done for them.
“When I went to see Yoda,” Leia said slowly. “He told me something before he died….that…I had a brother.”
“Well, shit,” Jyn said, blinking. “Darth Vader has another spawn out there?”
“It’s Luke, isn’t it?” Bodhi said. The look on his face told Leia that she would have never had to tell him anyway…..he just knew.
“Yeah,” Leia responded. “How did you know?”
Bodhi smiled wistfully.
“I think back to when I met Jyn for the first time,” he mused. “I didn’t have any siblings in my birth family, so when Galen adopted me and told me I now had a sister, I was so excited. I remember picturing in my mind of what she would be like…but I always thought it would be years until I met her with the rebellion and all. So when I was sent to give the Death Star plans to the rebellion, it dawned on me that I would be meeting my sister sooner rather than later. When that realization hit, I felt so nervous to know how she was going to react to me without our father. But, when we finally did, it was like we knew each other our whole lives.”
The shocked expression at Leia’s confession slowly faded from Jyn’s face with each sentence her brother spoke.
“I kind of had a gut feeling from the moment we met. I knew he had a strong connection to me,” Jyn added. “I only had the crystal get as hot as it did when I was near two people, Cassian and Bodhi.”
Her fingers lightly gripped the kyber crystal necklace her mother had given her years ago. Jyn was not Force sensitive, but that kyber crystal was her only connection to the Force. It always indicated to Jyn who was trustworthy and when danger was coming, but it was not the only way it saved her life.
Leia remembered how Jyn enthusiastically told the story of how it saved and her friends’ lives on Scarif. The Death Star had fired upon the beach hoping to quell the rebels that had just stolen the plans of their massive ship. Cassian had been taken aboard the Death Star, leaving only Jyn, Bodhi, Baze and Chirrut left. With Bodhi and Chirrut injured from two seperate explosions, they knew there was no time to get on a ship and leave. All agreed they would refuse to leave anyone behind so they would all go down together, hoping that somehow Cassian would escape and live to tell their tale. The four of them sat on the beach and accepted their fates.
But just as the explosion from the Death Star was about to hit them, the kyber crystal shot out a powerful shielded dome that protected them from the blast. It made them the only survivors on the beach. It was safe to say Jyn and her friends, including Baze and his thoughts that the Force was a load of Bantha crap, had no doubts in such things as kyber crystals and the Force after that.
“I found out we were siblings just as my father was dying on Eadu when he called out to the both of us,” Jyn continued, “I didn’t need for him to tell me anymore after that. I remember being shocked, but also angry. I wasn’t sure if it was the truth that Bodhi was hiding from me or the fact that when I finally found my father only to have him dying in front of me. It made me mad. But when my father said for us to take care of each other, Bodhi and I looked at each other and I let it go. It didn’t take away the pain of losing my father, but knowing I had someone, even if it wasn't by blood, made it hurt less.”
“He lost everything in a matter of seconds,” Bodhi added. “The two people who raised him, his home, his friends. Honestly I don’t think he would even care if Vader is his birth father knowing he at least has something left that would give him an extended family again.”
They were right. Leia remembered the night Luke finally proposed to Mara Jade, he took Leia aside. She rarely ever saw the prince cry because of his fierce optimism, but that night he did.
“I miss them,” Luke had said, referring to Bail and Breha, the parents who raised him as if he was their own flesh and blood, and his adopted sister Winter, who was still nowhere to be found and presumed dead. “I found the woman who I am going to spend my life with and in the Force thereafter. She brings so much joy into my life, and my family isn’t here to share it with me."
Luke couldn’t even say another word as he broke, holding onto Leia for dear life. “I would do anything to get them back,” he said again. “Hell, I would even take a secret sibling somewhere in the galaxy….I just miss having someone to go to and celebrate wonderful moments such as this.”
And now he did.He had Leia, who had already become a sister before she found out they shared a womb. He had Han and his nephew Ben, who already adored him. It wasn’t much,but it was exactly what he needed.
Leia turned to Bodhi and Jyn and smiled.
“Thanks, guys,” she said. “That was exactly the advice I needed.”
“Well, we may not have a maniac for a father,” Jyn said, wrapping her arm around Bodhi’s shoulders. “But we know a thing or two about weird family dynamics.”
For a moment, Leia reveled in relief that most likely things were going to be fine when she finally told Luke.. That was before Chirrut jumped to his feet quickly. He stood ready, his fighting stick in hand. Because he didn’t have his vision, he always heard an intruder coming quicker than even his Force sensitive counterparts. No one had to say a word, Leia and Mara were both quick with their lightsabers while Jyn and Bodhi had their blasters pointed to where the bushes started rustling.
And then-
“You can all put your weapons down,” It was Baze Malbus, one of the Rogue One members. He looked sweaty and flustered. “Chewie set off a trap and well….he got the group captured. I wasn’t in the proximity of the net so I managed to escape.”
While a brief wave of anxiety did wash over Leia, she wasn’t panicked….yet. If the Empire captured Han and the rest of his group, she would have felt it through the Force. But if they didn’t get to them quickly, whoever captured Han and the group would realize their value and hand them to the Empire for the reward.
“And you didn’t think to get them down?” Bodhi asked incredulously.
“Believe me,Rook. I tried,” Baze growled, “But these tiny bear creatures came out of nowhere. I thought I could fight them off because they honestly looked like walking stuffed bears, but they were overwhelming in number.Believe it or not, the little spears and rocks they threw at me hurt like fuck! I knew it would be easier to overwhelm them if I came back with you guys.”
“Never estimate tiny creatures,” Chirrut preached thoughtfully. “They may look innocent but they will rip you apart….the swarm of porgs that attacked our valiant team still haunts me to this day.”
“So quit standing around,” Jyn growled, cocking her blaster and making her way towards the clearing where Baze had come from. “LET’S KILL SOME KRIFFING STUFFED BEARS AND SAVE OUR FRIENDS.”
“Behold the power of hormones,” Bodhi grumbled rolling his eyes as he started following his sister before she did something stupid.
As the four Rogue One members disappeared into the clearing of the woods, Mara and Leia paused to look at each other.
“Do you think they have Luke too?” Mara asked.
“I don’t know,” Leia answered, “We’ll find out in a minute.”
Mara nodded and started making her way through the forest. Leia went to follow her but suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. She felt something cold wrap around her like a vice grip. It was intense and suffocating. But before she could comprehend what it meant, the sensation went away.
Leia had that sensation many times before, and she had enough understanding in the Force to know what it meant. She knew she wasn’t in immediate danger, if she was the cold sensation would have stayed. No, this was a warning that something was coming, something dark and she needed to be cautious going forward.
She took a deep breath and pushed those feelings aside. As she followed her friends into the clearing, she made a note to meditate on it later. For now….there were more pressing matters at hand.