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The eventful night began with Pidge nearly getting stabbed with a firestick.
Well, really it didn’t, however it was how the interesting part of the night, which didn’t consist of the Paladins of Voltron, after finding themselves on a planet eerily similar to Earth, eating an unhealthy amount of space food, started .
However, this was besides the point. Going back, the – interesting – part of the night begun just as Pidge was nearly stabbed by a firestick. It was Hunks 21st birthday party, which had started out as a small party but had ended in most of the lightweight paladins drunk - which, surprise surprise, it wasn't like they had had much of an opportunity to drink before space did they. It was about 9pm, and Keith was sitting around the campfire which had been set up in the backyard, when he, Lance and Hunk himself decided to each grab a two-meter-long piece of wood, put them in the fire to set them alight. And play swords with them. Of course to onlookers, this would have been terrifying, but the Paladins weren't exactly amateurs in swordsmanship, and so it wasn't a surprise that Pidge simply stayed in her seat next to the mischievous boys, content in her belief that they were not that drunk yet, and she was safe where she was. Soon enough they stopped playing swords with their makeshift giant firesticks, but, of course, being the sword fanatic he is, Keith decided to monotonously continue burning his own stick - which was okay, it was a wooden stick and there was a fire after all - however soon the boy proceeded to somehow throw the firestick dangerously close to Pidges arm, nearly stabbing and burning her in the process. He was, of course, met with a look of surprise and a signature death glare, and somewhat apologised.
After this, the boys decided that they wanted to go for a walk to the beach, which was only about a ten-minute walk away. Thinking that it would be a complete mess if they didn’t accompany them, as they were pretty drunk by this time, Shiro, Allura and Pidge decided to go with them, and were soon leaving Hunks house.
By the time the small group had actually gotten to the beach, - which, lucky there was a beach to begin with, they were in space - the three boys were drunkenly swaying, and not getting any better as the idiots had taken and consumed more alcohol on the walk. Walking down the path to the beach, Lance and Keith decided to slip through a fence to ‘inspect a lizard’, which was great as the result was Allura and Pidge scrambling to get the duo to return from the boundary, and not ruin yet another interstellar agreement. It only got better, however, when the Paladins reached the beach and Lance literally flopped and started to make a sand angel in the sand, this was amusing, but also meant that he was covered in sand for the rest of the night.
Once the team had - struggled – to get him back up, a drunk Keith seemingly decided ‘why not?’ and walked, fully clothed and covered in sand, into the water. He only went a bit above ankle level, however he couldn’t stand up straight, and so the minute he stood still in the water, down he went into the murky depths of it, proceeding to get absolutely drenched. Seeming to think that he could still walk, he tried to get up, however, he looked like a really tired school student trying to get out bed, and, ultimately, failed. He tried to do this again, and again, and again, but it never worked out. Eventually, Lance had to try and help him, which he did, but the minute they got out of the water they both tried to tackle each other, and fell back to the sand, where they took a full ten minutes yelling at each other whilst trying to get up because they had lost a cup of drink, which was actually probably a good thing.
Once the team had gotten moving back up the path and away from the beach, Keith, the maniac, saw a perfect opportunity to jump the fence, and so did, however upon viewing the surprised faces of those surrounding him, and attempts at not laughing whilst yelling at him, he decided it wasn’t good enough and literally dived over the fence and onto a bit of concrete, where he proceeded to complain about ‘breaking’ his elbow.
After this the group walked through a park which they had needed to pass in order to get onto the beach. Stupidly, however, they thought that it would be a good idea to get Keith and Lance to wash off the literal layer of sand coating their bodies off of themselves, granted that these aliens actually had beach showers. Luckily they did, however what was originally perceived as a good idea only resulted in Hunk, Keith and Lance finding a random dish by the showers and running around the park whilst throwing not only the water from dish, but the instrument itself, at each other.
Finally, team Voltron managed to get the wild trio to stop throwing things at each other, and began walking home again, when, halfway down the road Lance decided to, once again, literally flop on the ground, in the middle of the street.
Eventually, Lance rose, and the group began to crossed a path which they needed to get across to reach the Castle of Lions. Once they had crossed the road, it was pretty much a straight strip for about 150m, and but a simple right turn to reach the castle. At this point, understandably, the sober paladins thought it would be fairly quick to return, but oh were they wrong.
Turns out they were so close, but so, so far.
Once the team had crossed the road and walked about 20 meters or so down the other road, Keith and Lance spotted a construction site, and orange cones.
This was when they decided to line a stack of orange cones across the road.
Yes, seeming to once again decide ‘why not?’, the imbecile, drunk fo their minds paladins grabbed multiple orange witches hat cones, started waving them at each other, and then started lining them across the road (surprisingly precisely too, considering they were rather drunk by this point). Once they had almost risked the lives of four random citizens who were probably terrified by a bunch of drunk humans lining cones across the road, the Paladins eventually managed to clean the cones up, however Lance, ever the sentimental one, decided that he wanted to keep a cone, and, after he had a tiny temper tantrum when Shiro and Allura tried to take it away from him, literally started dragging a random cone down the path.
They walked a few more meters down the path, when Keith decided that he was bored, and randomly took his shoes off and threw one of them into what seemed to be a strange garden of sorts. Yay.
Hunk, who at this point was considerably less wasted than the other two, went into the garden, but was too scared to get the shoe even though it was literally only a meter away, and came out empty handed. By now Lance was so drunk that the boy was having trouble standing upwards for more than three seconds at a time, so they sent Keith, yet again, into the garden, and tried to guide him to the spot of the shoes.
He came back with a bird bath. A cement bird bath.
Why do they even have those in space!?
Slightly freaking out that he had stolen a bird bath, and a bit too preoccupied to wonder how he could even carry a cement birdbath, Shiro, being the dad he was, quickly ushered Keith back into the yard, where he – tried to – put the birdbath back in place and emerged with the pair of shoes. It was the first - and last – victory of the night.
Once the shoes had been retrieved back, the group were off again, trying their best to just get back to the castle as quickly as possible before Lance and Keith got them in more trouble. That was, until Lance, somehow, decided to run down the path, resulting in Allura scrambling to catch up with him and make sure that he did not pass out in the middle of the path, which, unsurprisingly, he promptly did anyway. Keith, on the other hand decided to let out some good ol’ pent up rage as he turned around, walked up to a pole with multiple election signs (again, election signs? In space? Who were these aliens?) on it, and started ripping the election signs in half, again with a concerning amount of strength, before being stopped by Shiro and a cackling Pidge.
Finally, with Lance still falling onto the path and clambering back up multiple times, and Keith throwing the cone which he still had into the distance, the group returned back to the castle where, finally, the boys passed out and peace ruled once again.
Well, Keith and Lance were in for one bad hangover, that was for sure.