Chapter Text
Epilogue
Six Months Later…
With a blink, Steve sat back in his stool, taking in the room around him now that he had finally returned from the artistic fugue he had lost himself to. From the light pouring in through the windows and the shadows it cast upon the floor, Steve guessed that a few hours had passed since he had first come in here, and it was now sometime in the late morning. Stretching his arms over his head, he blinked again and took another look around, smiling at Pepperoni who had curled herself around his feet, before he returned his gaze to the canvas he’d been working on.
He was spending an increasing amount of time in his studio, feeling more inspired to create than ever before. He preferred to work during the early morning hours, when the streets outside were quiet and the sunlight its softest.
Sometimes Bucky would join him, whenever Steve could manage to lure him out of bed, where he would let Steve adjust and pose his body, Steve’s favorite subject and most beloved muse, so Steve could continue working on whatever image he was inspired by. Sometimes Steve would wander into the room by himself, when he just wanted some quiet time to lose himself in the colors and scents of his paints, and let his fingers take him where they would. On those mornings, Bucky would silently slip into the room, set a mug of coffee down on Steve’s drafting table, kiss his cheek softly, and just as quietly walk out, leaving Steve to it. Sometimes Steve would return from the image he’d been trying to create, turn around and see Bucky sitting on the floor, his back to the wall, quietly reading from the latest book that had captured his interest. He never spoke or interrupted Steve while he worked, but he always knew when Steve’s attention had returned and would bookmark his page, gifting Steve with a smile.
He wasn’t there this morning, but that was all right. Steve not only knew he was home, but exactly where he was in their house, patiently waiting for Steve to come find him.
Steve sighed as he stretched, and then took a moment to study his canvas. He still loved to sketch, but he had always had a great fondness for paints as well, not something they could afford back before everything had so dramatically changed. His current painting was a portrait, yet another one of Bucky, this time of him rising from the sea, the rippled muscles of his body a myriad of blues, his eyes the bluest tone of all. Steve cocked his head and gave it a careful examination. It wasn’t quite what he was trying to capture, but it was getting there. And if he asked, he was sure Bucky would agree to model for him, no matter how much he grumbled and groaned about it.
But he’d worked on it enough for today, and it was time to return to the world of the living, and see what Bucky had gotten himself up to.
After the trial in February, their lives eventually calmed down. Another news story had broken, or some celebrity somewhere had involved themselves in yet an even more scandalous situation, and eventually the media left their neighborhood in order to pursue the latest hot topic. It had only lasted for a few weeks, but for the both of them it was more than long enough.
From what Steve understood, a picture of the two of them together could still commandeer a high price. But one of those was nearly impossible to get. That wasn’t to say that the press or the curious onlooker on the street didn’t try; but they were nowhere near as skilled as two super soldiers who trained as hard as they did, especially when one of them knew how to disappear in the middle of a crowd when he wanted to. The only time anyone ever really got a chance to get a photograph of the two of them together was when Steve was scheduled to speak somewhere, for a cause he believed in, or because he felt his presence could help those in power make the right decision. Whenever those occurred, Bucky always accompanied him, where instead of having to hide in the shadows, he could stand proudly by Steve’s side in a suit of his own, Steve’s partner and equal in all things.
The only other place where someone could find a photo of the two of them together was on the Instagram account of one fourteen-year-old girl, the only one who ever seemed to capture a candid image of the two of them together, laughing and smiling and so very much in love. As a result, Joey now had over two million followers, and suddenly everyone who had teased or made fun of her in school wanted to be her friend. But Joey was smarter than that, and quickly started watermarking and then copyrighting all the images she posted, while ignoring those who suddenly wanted to be her friend.
“They didn’t want to be my friends before they knew I knew the two of you. Why would I want them to be my friends now, when they only want to know me so they can use me for a chance to meet you,” had been her logic, delivered in her forever snotty little way, that both Steve and Bucky still adored.
Besides, Bucky was her best friend, and he was the best friend in the world. The rest of them could go fuck themselves.
Steve hoped she never changed. But she was changing and growing, as was the rest of their family. Nina was almost a year and a half now, was learning new words at a remarkable rate, and had long since started walking. Whenever Steve or Bucky showed up at Lulu’s house, she would come toddling over, her arms already reaching out for Bucky so he could lift her into the air. Steve would have been jealous, but she had a fondness for sitting on his shoulders, her fists clenched in his hair, giggling as Steve carried her wherever she decided she wanted to go.
Her first word had been mama, spoken to Dewy on a quiet night. But her second word had been dada, which she said to Bucky the first time she had seen him after he and Steve had been away for a few days on a mission with the Avengers. Bucky had cried for over an hour, as he cradled his little treasure against his chest, while Steve sat with his arm around him.
It wasn’t her third word, or her fourth, or even her sixth or seventh. But Steve she had named her papa, just after she had spat up on him after he burped her. It was Steve’s turn to cry then, while Bucky held him, and Dewy assured him it was all right, and why she shouldn’t have two fathers, especially when there were no men in the world who would ever love her as much as they did.
The Rodriguezes were their family, not replacing their old ones, but something that was new and just as sacred. And not only did Bucky treasure and adore them, but he needed them as well.
There had been a strange situation that had developed, once the trial ended and Bucky’s identity verified, when members from Bucky’s first family had reached out, the children and grandchildren of Becca, Brea and Beth, wanting to meet the long lost uncle and war hero they had grown up hearing so much about, but never thought they’d get the opportunity to meet. To everyone’s surprise, including Steve’s, Bucky refused.
“I’m not that man anymore Steve,” Bucky told him when Steve had asked why. “And I don’t remember them, any of them.” That seemed to be the price Bucky had to pay for his freedom. While he had remembered almost everything else, and recovered quite a few memories of his father, he still could not remember anything about his mother or his sisters, not even their faces, no matter how hard he tried. Bruce had a theory that the erasure of those memories, the first memories of family, love and warmth, was what HYDRA had used to finally break him. And it didn’t look like those were ever going to come back.
“And they’re going to expect me to remember who they are and have all these stories to tell them, and I can’t Stevie, I just can’t,” Bucky had gone on, as he exhaled a plume of smoke and stared up at the sky.
“Okay Bucky, okay,” was all Steve had said. He disagreed with Bucky’s decision, but it wasn’t his choice to make. All he could do was respect Bucky’s wishes on the matter.
He went to visit them himself instead, carrying with him Bucky’s apologies, trying to be as delicate as possible while he explained Bucky’s reasons. They had been disappointed, not able to understand why Bucky wouldn’t want to meet them, but extending an open invitation for Bucky to come visit any of them if he ever felt ready to. They had also given Steve a box they had prepared, filled with old photographs and letters, of their mothers and concerning the lives they had led that they insisted Steve bring back to Bucky.
As far as he knew, Bucky had never opened the box. And it remained, still untouched, in the hidey-hole in the back of their bedroom closet, until the day Bucky would be ready to look through them.
The Rodriguezes were not a replacement for the Barnes, and Bucky never considered them such. But they were the family that Bucky had found, and once again decided to share with Steve, because that’s who he was, and that’s who he’d always been. And Bucky would give Steve the world if Steve asked. But in reality, having Bucky was more than enough.
And then there was their other family, the Avengers, who they both spent time with, almost, but not quite nearly every day. Clint and Bucky were still as thick as thieves, and they always knew when Natasha was away, because he would show up unannounced at their door. Sam was spending a lot more time in New York than DC these days, and he was considering purchasing Steve’s apartment on Seventh Avenue so he could have a place that was his own if and when (and it really was a when at this point) he finally did move to Brooklyn permanently. Thor still showed up as much as he could, and they both always greeted him warmly, even if it did seem as though he was more interested in spending time with the Pizzas or Dewy than he was with anyone else.
But mostly, it was him and Bucky, living their lives just like they had always wanted to, step by step, day to day, and side by side. Madly, deeply, endlessly in love.
It had only been a few hours since he had last seen him, but it had already been too long and Steve was missing him as he made his way downstairs into the kitchen where he knew Bucky would be.
As he stepped from the stairs and turned into the kitchen, his hips easy and loose from the way Bucky had fucked him, slow and easy, for hours all night while whispering dirty little promises in Steve’s ear, Steve saw Bucky standing there and froze.
Bucky was in front of the counter, fixing the both of them a late breakfast. He was wearing tan slacks, a tight-fitting white t-shirt and a pair of suspenders, and Meatball was draped over his shoulders. There was music playing from his phone, and he was humming along, dancing on his feet as he listened to some song about rides and motorcycles, easily slicing through the mushrooms, onions and peppers he was going to use for the omelet he was making.
And suddenly Steve couldn’t move. Because he was struck by a memory, vivid and acute, and one he didn’t even know he had.
Of coming home from his job, and trudging his way up the stairs and to their little corner apartment. It had been a hot and humid day, and nothing had gone right, and all Steve wanted was to go home. When he finally reached their door, unlocking it and stepping inside, Bucky was already home from his construction job. He was standing in the tiny corner that had been set aside as their kitchen, dressed in pressed chinos and a white undershirt, with a pair of suspenders over his shoulders. The radio was on, and he was singing along to an Ella Fitzgerald song while he fixed them something for dinner. He heard Steve come in, and looking up with a smile that was bright and full of joy and mischief, and obvious happiness that Steve was back, said, “Hey Stevie. Welcome home, go sit down, I’m making us some dinner.”
Steve had never been so grateful in his life.
Steve blinked again, and the memory was gone, but not the image, because the Bucky who had turned to smile at him was almost exactly the same as the one he had just seen in his mind’s eye. He was bit taller and his shoulders broader, the perfect perch for his favorite little Earth dragon. Instead of leather shoes he was wearing a pair of bright red Converse sneakers. He had lived a hard life, and carried horrible scars, and his left arm was made of metal.
There were even differences from just two years ago. His hair had finally grown back, and was longer now than it had ever been. He had pulled it up into a high ponytail to keep it off of the back of his neck during the warm and muggy August heat. Or maybe simply because he knew Steve loved it that way.
And then there was the mark on his upper left arm.
Steve never knew how he had managed it, but for his birthday that year, Bucky had lifted his left sleeve to show Steve his bicep. Except where the red star had once been were now three moons, locked in a triangle, each in a different phase. When Steve asked what they represented, Bucky told him, “They’re the phases of the moon on your birthday and mine, and then the day on the carrier.” When Steve had followed up by asking him why, Bucky simply shrugged and let the sleeve fall back into place. “They’re our beginnings. The day you were born, the day I was, and then the day when we fought, when I remembered you again for the first time. That was the day it all started again. When you brought me back. One of the most important days of my life, even if I didn’t know it yet. But it was important, more important than that red star. I’ll never forget you again Stevie, and we’re never going to end, but we did have our beginnings, and I wanted to remember those too.”
Steve would never ever forget either, just like he would never forget that night, when the two of them spent hours body to body and skin to skin, each making the other scream in the way only the two of them could.
But now, on this bright August morning, as Bucky stood in their finally refinished kitchen, his smile was just as bright as it had ever been. Because no matter where he had been or how long he had been away, Bucky was always so happy to see Steve whenever he was there. Because Steve had always been his, just like Bucky had always been Steve’s.
And suddenly Steve knew how he wanted to spend the rest of their day.
“What’s going on with you?” Bucky asked as he cracked half a dozen eggs into a bowl one handed. “You got that look in your eye Stevie, which I know means you got something planned.”
“Nah Buck, I was just thinking,” Steve grinned as he stepped over to the counter and stole a mushroom, barely managing to avoid Meatball’s claws as he swiped at his fingers.
“Well shit, now I know we’re in trouble. Nothing good ever came outta you thinking,” Bucky said with a roll of his eyes.
“Shut up, you asshole.” Steve shoved him playfully. Bucky shoved him right back. “I was just thinking,” Steve began again.
“Yeah?”
“How about after breakfast me and you go out for a ride?”
Bucky was officially a member of the Avengers now, and he had a motorcycle of his own that he used whenever they were called to duty. But he still loved to go riding out with Steve. Except when it was just the two of them, Bucky usually forewent his own bike, preferring instead to ride on the back of Steve’s, his arms around Steve’s waist while Steve led the way, and Bucky followed, doing what he always did, protecting Steve’s back, the best shield he had ever had.
Bucky glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, before his lips quirked into the slyest of little smiles. “Yeah all right. You know I’ll go anywhere with you as long as we’re together.”
If they were lucky, they would have at least another eight hundred years with each other. Bucky had been the first one to say it, but he was right. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough.
But as long as they were together, it would be a damned good start.
***
And this, this was their life now.
FIN
END NOTES
So, for anyone who has made it all the way to the end of this series, a couple of extra tidbits in case you were wondering:
Joey and Bucky remain best friends for the rest of her life, and continue to get into a hell of a lot of trouble along the way. In my mind, I imagine Joey is one of the first people accepted into one of Wakanda’s universities when they finally open their borders, where she also becomes good friends with Shuri. She ends up becoming the head of SHIELD’s cyber and information security, never quite taking over the world, but devoting her life to making sure it’s as safe as possible. She also ends up marrying a beautiful woman, a neurosurgeon, who yes, does have freckles and long, curly hair, who she has two beautiful daughters with, who continue the family tradition of getting insanely spoiled by both Bucky and Steve.
Dewy – Throughout the last half of the story, I dropped shipping hints about Dewy with both Sam and Thor. Does she end up with Sam? Thor? Some combination of the two? That I leave up to your imagination. Just remember, Dewy is her own woman, and very proudly so. But no matter who she ends up with, if she ends up with anyone at all, you can always find her and Bucky in her bedroom on Thursday evenings, watching the shenanigans of Gus and his Senora Ramona through her bedroom window, eating snacks, while talking about her latest pair of shoes.
Lulu ends up living a very long and satisfying life. Sometimes she has to stop and take a moment as she looks around at all of the people who are now a part of her family and her heart, and give thanks for all the abundance she has been graced with in her life.
Lastly, there’s Nina. In short, Nina is my gift to all of you. In this story, Nina came into this world as a little girl who was lucky enough to be born to the Rodriguez clan, an element of softness and sweetness so Bucky could rediscover how to love someone unconditionally. I think we all need a little bit of that in our lives. To that end, I leave both Nina’s future and identity up to you. Maybe she grows up, finds a lovely husband and has four children. Maybe she remains single and childless all her life. Maybe she’s ace, or bi, pan, trans or genderfluid. Perhaps she deals with ADHD or is on the spectrum. Whatever you need Nina to be, that’s who Nina becomes. The only caveat to that, is that Nina always keeps the middle name Sarah, because that was the first gift given by Bucky, and it means so much to both him and Steve, and Nina will never forget that. But whatever Nina’s future holds, just know that she grows up treasured and adored by an amazing family, and two super-soldiers who spend the rest of their lives making sure Nina is safe, loved and accepted for whoever she decides to be. It’s your happy ending. You all deserve the best one. <3
***
Now for some serious bits.
First and foremost, I once again have to thank katherynefromphilly. When the idea for this series first struck, and I complained to her about The Thing that had started taking over my brain, she laughed at me. But throughout this entire experience, she has been nothing but a constant comfort and endless stream of support. (She even helped me with research during certain bits.) She is a dear, dear friend, and a fabulous writer in her own right. If you’re a Merlin fan, or even just want to read some really awesome stories, you should check out And like the cycle of the year, we begin again. It’s one of the best pieces of writing I have ever read, and reading it led to one of the most valuable friendships of my life, so I can’t recommend it enough.
And then there is Merry_rf. I can never begin to express my gratitude to Merry. When I reached out to her in search of a beta, and she agreed, she had no idea what she was getting into. But she was kind and generous with her time, and persevered through almost 400 thousand words of my writing, making it so much better than I ever could have done on my own. She has also become a very close and treasured friend. My only complaint is that she lives so far away, because I need to give her a hug and buy her endless bottles of wine for everything she has done for me.
Lastly, there is each and everyone of you. I started writing this series in February of last year, all because I saw a gif on Tumblr where this strangely beautiful man with a metal arm and tragic eyes caught Captain America’s shield and flung it back at him. I hadn’t seen any of the MCU movies, and had no idea who he was. When I asked another friend of mine, who was a huge MCU fan, who that was, she merely laughed at me and said, “Oh honey, we have a couple of movies we need to watch.” I couldn’t have begun to imagine what that simple question would lead to – watching all of the Captain America movies, then the rest of the MCU films, realizing Stucky was my OTP, and turning to AO3 to get more of my Stucky fix. Deciding to write my own take of their relationship, and then, eventually, posting the results. And, and this is the important part, getting to interact with each and everyone of you. This series has taken up more than a year of my life. And during that time, you all have been an unbelievable and unexpected gift. There are those of you, too many to count, who have been with me from the beginning. Not only that, but some of you have been so generous as to comment on each and every chapter I posted. You were kind enough to share ideas, theories, jokes, favorite foods, songs, and some of you even went so far to write your own stories based on what I have written. All of your comments have made me laugh, made me cry, and lifted me up during some very dark days. I have made more friends, from all over the world, than I ever thought possible. There are too many names to list here, but know that I adore each and everyone of you, and as this series reaches its conclusion, I am so grateful for each and everyone of you. There are no words to express just how grateful I am, but know that the feelings are there, in my heart, for each and every one of you.
It’s a strange thing, to have finally reached the end of this series. I am both relieved and heartbroken that it’s finally here. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do now that I won’t be posting a chapter every Tuesday and Friday night after doing it for nearly a year, and I am sure as shit going to miss all of the wonderful conversations those chapters led to. But it’s time to end Steve and Bucky’s journey and let them get on with their lives. I’ve said from the beginning I wanted to give them the happy ending I felt they deserved; whether I succeeded or not is up to you, but if nothing else, I hope you enjoyed the journey I took them on.
Will I ever write another story in this universe – I doubt it. But, if anyone isn’t absolutely tired of my blabbing at this point, I am working on another story for the Captain America Reverse Big Bang. It’s Bucky-centric, and in it Bucky adopts a puppy that helps him recover from all he’s been through. I have a great artist, and her work has provided me with tons of inspiration. After that, there’s another idea rattling around in my brain, a Stucky fantasy-AU, that hasn’t turned into a THING just yet, but feels like it is just waiting its turn. So, we’ll see.
Lastly, and yes, this is the last bit, I PROMISE, in case anyone was curious, the song Bucky’s listening to in the Epilogue when Steve comes into the kitchen is Come Get It Bae, by Pharrell Williams:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTOekWUjAhs
There is one song that has been the theme of this entire series. The first time I heard it, it was so perfect it actually brought tears to my eyes, and it is forever more my Stucky theme. Except this song manages to say in three minutes what took me nearly 400 thousand words to express. That song is We Stay Together by Andrew Galucki. If you give it a listen, I think you’ll know why it’s the theme song for this series. Even if you don’t, it’s still a beautiful song, and I hope you enjoy it.
https://youtu.be/0SbyEcmwd8o
If there is one thing that you take from all of this, just remember that I love and am so grateful for each and every one of you. Keep being you, because you’re precious, and treasured, and adored. I would hug you all of you if I could, but since I can’t I will leave you with this…
**hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs**
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is for now, The End.