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The autumn breeze rightfully feels chilly on their skin as they exit from the supermarket, leaves rustling in the wind, but other than that, the evening is quiet.
That is, until Eiji decides to take a big bite from his candied strawberry.
The crunchy noise tears the quiet night like a bullet and Eiji’s eyes widen like he seriously didn’t expect such a loud noise. Ash can’t stop himself from laughing at the look on his face.
“Couldn’t wait until we’re inside the car?” he asks teasingly.
Eiji continues chewing the candied strawberry, looking a little ashamed. “I mean it’s really sweet and tasty.” his husband says as an explanation. The bite he took was so large that some of the candy got stuck on the corner of his mouth.
“Hmm…” Ash says thoughtfully, pulling himself closer to Eiji by their combined hands, and licking the candy from his mouth with a deep kiss.
He pulls back a moment later with a neutral face. “Oh, you’re right. It really tastes sweet.”
Ash watches gleefully as Eiji’s cheeks turn the same color of the strawberry he’s just eaten, all because of a simple kiss, despite the fact they’ve been married for three years and together for seven years. He peppers Eiji’s flaming cheeks with dozens of little kisses.
Eiji can’t stop the little giggles escaping from his mouth even if he whines. “Ash, you’re mean.”
“I’m just telling the truth, baby. You taste sweet.” Ash says innocently, still kissing him. “How’s that mean?”
Eiji sighs blissfully as Ash’s kisses turns from frantic to gentle on his cheeks, enjoying the pampering for a little more before closing his lips on Ash’s and locking their lips in a honeyed kiss. They enjoy kissing in the empty parking lot for a few long minutes, and then Eiji steps out of Ash’s embrace with a little smile and heads to the garbage container to throw the candied strawberry’s stick away. Ash’s arms already feels a little cold, a little empty.
Eiji lifts the lid of the garbage casually and throws the stick, but just as he’s about to walk away, his entire body freezes. Ash, who’s still watchful for even the smallest distress signal from Eiji, quickly walks over to him with an alarmed posture.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s…” Eiji starts but instead of properly answering, he leans over the garbage and starts looking for something under Ash’s surprised gaze. He leans back a moment and in his arms, he’s holding a little golden retriever puppy. The puppy’s two months old at best, looking cold and tired, and he firmly snuggles himself to Eiji’s warmth.
The sight of him literally shatters Ash’s heart.
“Little angel, who did this to you?” Eiji whispers sadly, voice thick with unshed tears, and Ash knows what’s going to happen long before Eiji turns his doe eyes at him.
Then again, Ash’s always been weak when it comes to Eiji. About his everything. From the very beginning.
He accepts his husband’s wordless request with a nod of his own. “Okay, but let’s take him to a vet first.”
Eiji’s starlit smile could convince him to adopt hundred puppies if he wanted.
“We adopted a puppy.” Ash casually says in his next therapy session.
“Really? That’s wonderful.” Devon says sincerely, taking a sip from her green tea. “How exactly did this happen?”
Ash leans back and takes a long sip from his black tea before answering. From where he’s sitting, he can faintly hear the sound of the ocean. His and Eiji’s home is closer to the ocean than Devon’s office. Ash still doesn’t know how living by the seaside can bring him such a peace considering he’s from Cape Cod and his hometown definitely doesn’t carry any pleasant memory for him, but then again, everything feels different in Izumo. Everything feels different when he’s with Eiji.
Eiji was the one who suggested Ash to see a therapist. Three months after he came to Izumo, Ash was having a particularly bad day and sitting by himself on the beach when Eiji found him. He sat down beside Ash, leaving a careful distance between them, and the two of them watched the sunset over the waves without talking for a while.
Ash always found comfort in Eiji’s touch, but that day, he couldn’t even stand to his touch. It hurt more than he could express with words.
“I think,” Eiji began in a low voice. “I think seeing a therapist might be good for you, Ash. I’m not gonna force you to do anything and I’m so proud how much progress you’re making, but I think you should give it a try.”
Ash didn’t do anything to stop the tears from falling. “Okay.” he exhaled quietly. “Okay, I’ll see a therapist.”
The first try wasn’t a success. Ash remembers coming home after the second session and having a breakdown between Eiji’s arms, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. “He’s not helping. Please don’t make me continue seeing him.”
Eiji held him tight, letting Ash bury his face to his chest. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want, sunshine.”
Two months after that, he coincidentally met Devon in a local market. Her Japanese was somewhat even worse than Ash’s, and upon noticing his foreign appearance, she approached him and asked for his help in a perfect English about a kind of fish she wanted to buy.
Dr. Devon Fujita was a forty year old therapist who recently moved into Izumo because it was her wife’s hometown and she wanted to come back. After a few days of hesitancy, Ash finally made his mind and went to see her. He still doesn’t regret his decision to this day. Seven years later, his visits to Devon aren’t as frequent as they were before, but he still likes talking to her about things from time to time, while they have tea inside her calming office.
“We were coming back from shopping,” Ash starts. “And Eiji accidently found him inside of a garbage container. Apparently some asshole put him there.”
Devon’s forehead wrinkles with anger. “Some people are pure evil.”
“Tell me about it,” Ash murmurs under his breath. “Anyway, you know how my husband is. Of course we adopted him.”
Devon hides her smile behind her teacup. She wouldn’t tell him this in a direct context since she’s a “professional”, but Ash knows she finds his tendency to frequently refer Eiji as “his husband” even after three years of marriage a little amusing. Ash doesn’t care. He’s going to keep referring Eiji as his husband until he drops dead.
“I imagine Eiji is very happy about it…?”
Ash snorts. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”
“Are you not happy about adopting a puppy?”
“No. Yes. I mean,” Ash makes a face. “He’s too cute.”
Devon lifts her eyebrows. “Is it a bad thing? You told me you thought Eiji was ‘too cute’ the first time you saw him, remember?”
“Yeah, and look what he’s done to me.” Ash says teasingly, lifting his left hand to proudly show his wedding ring. “Cuteness is the deadliest weapon in the world, Devon.”
Devon presses her lips together to stop herself from laughing. “Did you find a name for him?”
“Eiji named him Buddy.”
Devon gives a brief pause. “How very… American.”
Ash sighs. Heavily. “I think he did it to make fun of me.”
This time, Devon can’t stop her loud laughter.
Buddy turns one year old in July and Eiji makes a dog-friendly cake for him with his own hands. (He became a better cook with time if it was even possible.) They put a birthday hat on his head and sing him a birthday song as they all sit on their porch under the sunset. Ash can still clearly remember the first time he and Eiji moved in.
(“Look, the golden hour looks good from here. It’s gonna be useful for your photography.”
“The only golden hour I need is you.”
“I’m literally so sick of your cheesy words, Eiji.”
“You’re blushing, Ash.”)
Buddy patiently waits for them to finish singing the birthday song, and then he heartily starts eating his birthday cake once Eiji tells him it’s okay to eat. Eiji watches him devour the cake with joyful laughs while Ash looks a little horrified. “Dear God, look at him… You spoil him way too much.”
Eiji isn’t fazed. “Ash, I caught you singing a lullaby to Buddy two nights ago when he was having stomach ache… Do you really wanna have this conversation?”
Ash pouts and doesn’t give an answer.
Buddy falls asleep by their feet inside after finishing his cake, and they decide to make a movie night on the couch. Eiji tries to pick a movie while Ash prepares the popcorn in the kitchen. He snuggles into his husband once everything’s ready and they start watching 5 Centimeters Per Second.
Normally, the seasonal temperature makes it impossible to cuddle in July, but thankfully they bought air conditioning for the house last year, so they’re very comfortable. Not that Ash would let hot weather stop him from cuddling his husband, but it’s nice to lay between Eiji’s arms without feeling sticky.
(And it’s not like he doesn’t feel sticky enough other times when he’s between Eiji’s arms… for different reasons.)
Popcorn makes him extremely thirsty after a while as usual and Ash reluctantly untangles himself from Eiji’s embrace, declining Eiji’s offer to bring him water instead of Ash with a kiss (He worked hard today for Buddy’s cake after all, he doesn’t need to tire himself more.) and heads to the kitchen again. He drinks a glass of water, and then fills it again for Eiji.
When he goes back to living room, however, his earlier seat is occupied as Buddy’s happily laying on Eiji’s lap. Ash’s eyebrows rise up while Eiji chuckles shyly.
“I’m sorry, I really didn’t have time to protest—he just jumped on me.”
Ash lets out a long sigh, dropping the water on the coffee table. He leans over Buddy and scratches his head. “You realize you’re in my seat, right?”
Buddy preens under the attention but other than that, he makes no move.
“Come on, little guy,” Ash urges gently, trying to make him move. “Let me lay on my husband’s lap, then you can spread yourself on us again.”
Buddy stubbornly refuses to move from Eiji’s lap, and a moment later, a low growl of warning rises from his throat.
Ash and Eiji look at him in shock. Buddy has never growled at them before, not when they were bathing him, not when they were trimming his nails, and even now, he kind of looks ashamed from his reaction but he still refuses to move.
“Buddy!” Eiji scolds him, but he also can’t stop laughing. “That was so rude! What’s gotten into you today?”
Buddy huffs and buries his chin deeper into Eiji’s stomach.
Ash finally blinks and tucks himself to Eiji’s unoccupied side with an eye roll. “OK, I’ll forgive him this time since it’s his birthday.” He scratches Buddy’s head again and their dog closes his eyes in bliss. Eiji gives him a kiss apologetically.
You won Eiji in this round, little fella. Ash thinks. But I’ll find a way for payback.
In the last couple of years, one of the things that didn’t change about Ash is how he still hates waking up early in the morning. That’s why Eiji’s in the charge of taking Buddy with him for his morning walk while Ash takes him in the evenings. And thankfully, this arrangement is going to be very helpful for Ash today.
Ash lays absolutely still in their bed that morning as Eiji prepares for his morning jogging. Several minutes later, the mattress dips softly and Ash feels the lightest caressing on his hair.
“Aslan,” Eiji whispers softly, voice so faint that Ash wouldn’t hear him if he was really asleep but he’d feel his presence. “I’m taking Buddy for a walk. Don’t worry about us.”
Ash forces himself to breathe slowly like he’s sleeping instead of turning and smothering Eiji in kisses like he wants. Eiji sighs peacefully, and he rises from the bed after dropping a little kiss to Ash’s hair. Buddy’s paw noises follow him soon after.
Only after making sure they’re really out of the house, Ash throws his covers away and bolts from bed to straight into kitchen. Eiji and Buddy usually take an hour long walks and he’s not sure how many different things he can prepare in that time but he tries anyway. He makes “basic American foods” like scrambled eggs and pancakes, but he also manages to prepare a near-perfect natto bowl for Eiji. (Ash still hasn’t come to appreciate “the heavenly taste” of natto, but at least he can cook it well enough and Eiji gives him the credit for it.)
He’s in the middle of squeezing orange juice when Eiji returns, and he’s glad for it since he’s almost done.
“Love, we’re back!” Eiji yells, marching forward the bedroom but he stops in his track when he notices Ash. Eiji’s eyes go wide as he enters the kitchen, and a bright expression settles on his face upon seeing natto on the table.
Eiji wraps his arms around Ash’s neck. “I can’t believe my eyes. Did you really prepare breakfast for us?”
Ash is up in the clouds but he rolls his eyes anyway. “Why do you sound so surprised? It’s not like I haven’t cooked for you before.”
“You have but it was either lunch or dinner. This is breakfast, which means you, of all people, got up early to make this and that’s…” Eiji looks impressed. “Huge.”
“Well…” Ash says shyly but he stops when he sees Buddy’s chewing a toy in the hallway over Eiji’s shoulder. He quickly wraps his arms around Eiji tighter, peppering his neck with soft kisses. “That’s because I’m your one and only husband and I wanted to spoil you. As your husband.”
Buddy continues chewing the toy, totally clueless, but Eiji frowns confusedly and to Ash’s horror, he looks back to see what’s behind him. His lips curl with a totally wicked smile as he makes the connection.
“Pumpkin,” Eiji coos lovingly and Ash should hate that nickname, he really should, but he can’t since it’s coming from Eiji. “Are you jealous because our dog loves me so much?”
Ash huffs mockingly, playing with a strand of Eiji’s hair. “I think you’ve had a sunstroke. Go take a shower so we can eat before the food goes cold.”
Eiji still looks a little smug but he heads to bathroom after giving Ash a kiss. Buddy approaches Ash in the kitchen after Eiji leaves, and looks at him with his big smart eyes, clearly demanding petting.
“Look, I think you and I need to have a conversation.” Ash tells him in a serious tone, petting his ears with both hands. Buddy almost looks like he’s going to burst from enjoyment. “Are you trying to steal my husband from me? Because, I get it, Eiji’s the most lovable person on Earth. But I feel like you’re forgetting that he’s my husband.”
Buddy lies down on the floor for a belly rub.
Ash sighs, giving him what he wants. “Buddy, please. I’d appreciate if you could take this conversation more seriously. You’re being disrespectful now.”
Buddy enjoys belly rubs for a couple of minutes before he stands up and stares at a certain cupboard, and then at Ash, and whining quietly, giving Ash literal puppy eyes.
Ash sighs louder as he stands up. He looks at the hallway to make sure Eiji’s not coming, and then opens the cupboard to give Buddy a spoonful of peanut butter.
“Don’t think we’re done with this conversation.” he says firmly as Buddy happily licks the spoon.
Everytime they go to the beach, Ash has to sit under an umbrella for at least half an hour while his skin absorbs the sunscreen, because he experienced the opposite in a painful way. So he spends that time by talking to Max on the phone while he watches Buddy and Eiji playing in the water.
Max is, apparently, distressed because Michael wants them to meet his first boyfriend this weekend.
“I mean I’m happy, really, that he wants us involved but I’m also like ‘When the fuck did he grow up this much?’ And I’m also nervous because what if this guy’s unworthy of my son, Ash?”
Ash takes a little bite from the shrimp avocado sandwich Eiji’s made for him. “What does Jessica say?”
Max pauses briefly. “Jess says Michael looks ten times happier since he started dating this kid –and I noticed that too— so we shouldn’t worry so much.”
“There, case closed. Jessica has always been smarter than you.”
Max tries to punish him with a few seconds of offended silence, but he caves in and laughs. “You’re right.” Ash hears the sound of a beer can opening in the background. “Enough about me. How are the things between you and Eiji?”
“Oh, the usual.” Ash replies casually, which they both know is a code for fucking fantastic. “But I’m getting a little annoyed with Buddy these days. I think he’s trying to steal Eiji from me.”
“Your…dog is trying to steal Eiji?” Max asks, completely deadpan. “And please stop lying to me. Eiji sent me a video of you reading a book to Buddy two days ago. Is that your ‘annoyed’ version?”
“Damn it.” Ash curses weakly. “I can’t even trust my own husband.”
Max laughs loudly at this but then a thoughtful silence passes between them. Max sounds more serious when he speaks again. “I’m so glad you’ve found happiness, Ash.”
Ash lifts his gaze to watch Eiji and Buddy again. Buddy chooses that moment to tackle Eiji, and they roll into the waves between Eiji’s joyful laughs.
“Yeah,” Ash says quietly. “Yeah, me too.”
During the one of last days of August, the sky is covered with the rare rain clouds, so Ash doesn’t take Buddy with him on his evening run. Buddy also doesn’t look very enthusiastic about an evening run since he tired himself too much that afternoon and now chooses to lazily lounge on the living room. Ash knows there’s a ninety percent chance he’ll be asleep by the time Ash comes back.
When he gets back to house after his run, caught in the rain, Buddy’s indeed asleep like he predicted and Eiji’s working with his laptop on the dinner table. He grumbles “Big cat.” when Ash drapes his wet weight on him, but he’s quick to wrap his arms around him and take a deep inhale from his neck. They sit in that position for a while.
“You’re cold.” Eiji finally whispers softly. “I don’t want you to catch a cold. Let me draw you a hot bath.”
He’s makes a move to gently let him go, but Ash catches his wrist and sends him a coy look under his eyelashes. “Only if you’ll join me.”
Eiji smiles.
Here’s the thing:
In the first few years of their relationship, Eiji absolutely treated him like he was some kind of porcelain doll, but never once it made Ash feel like he was weak or something. It was everything Ash needed at that time, and even though Ash doesn’t need that kind of careful treatment anymore, it doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy Eiji’s pampering from time to time.
Eiji leans back inside the bathtub so Ash can comfortably lay between his legs, and Ash’s eyes slip shut from the first contact of Eiji’s lips on his shoulder.
“My lovely sunshine…” Eiji muses worshippingly. Ash’s heartbeat starts to pick up. “My pretty dandelion...” A kiss to his neck. “My honey milk…” A kiss to the back of his hand.
A tear escapes from Ash’s right eye before he can stop it, and even though he can’t see his face, Eiji notices. Of course he does.
He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, thankfully, leaning to kiss his right cheek and murmuring softly. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Ash answers, voice cracking. “Absolutely nothing. It’s just, sometimes…” He completely turns to Eiji, more tears escaping from his eyes. “Sometimes I remember we almost didn’t have this, couldn’t have this and then I feel like I’m suffocating—“
“Don’t think like that.” Eiji says firmly, wiping Ash’s tears away with gentle hands. “We’re here, we’re together, we have this and that’s all that matters. I love you more than anything in the world, Aslan.”
Ash laughs helplessly. “I love you more than the life itself.”
Eiji’s lips part in a shaky exhale, Ash’s eyes follow the movement, and the next moment they’re kissing passionately. Ash completely turns in Eiji’s embrace to get a higher angle, snuggling himself to his chest more firmly, fingers dancing on Eiji’s thigh under the water—
They startle out of the kiss as a loud whining comes from behind the door. Buddy’s making miserable noises since the door is locked and he can’t get inside, (Buddy actually can open the doors if it’s not locked, which’s fucking weird since neither Ash nor Eiji taught him that trick) and he sounds like he doesn’t plan on quitting anytime soon.
After a brief shocked silence, Eiji throws his head back to start laughing hysterically and Ash cries out in despair. “Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me!”
Buddy just whines louder. Eiji wraps his arms around Ash’s waist, still laughing maniacally, and even though Ash’s pouting, he can’t stop himself from laughing either.
“Alright, you big baby, we’re coming. Jesus.”
Eiji gets his traditional autumn cold in early October and Ash tries to handle it as gracefully as he can. They deal with this every autumn since they’ve settled in Izumo seven years ago, and yet Ash still can’t stand seeing Eiji laying sick in a bed. Old demons die hard, after all.
Eiji sniffs miserably. “Oh God, I hate this. I feel like I’m dying.”
Even in his sick haze, Eiji realizes what he’s said and how Ash’s skin turns unnaturally pale. “I-I didn’t mean-that—“ His words get interrupted by a cough. “Fuck, I’m so stupid.”
“No, you’re not.” Ash says gently, leaning in to kiss his flaming forehead softly. “Just—don’t say it again.”
Eiji smiles tiredly. “I won’t. I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK,” Ash whispers, caressing his hair. His husband’s eyes slip shuts easily. “Try to get some sleep now. I’ll be with you when you wake up.”
Buddy’s moping on the couch when Ash gets back to the living room, and Ash knows the poor dog’s worried sick about Eiji since it’s the first time he’s witnessing Eiji’s seasonal cold. This is one of those times he wishes he can make Buddy understand something clearly. He really hates seeing him like this.
He carefully sits down beside Buddy and the dog immediately climbs into his lap, turning his unhappy eyes at Ash.
“Look,” Ash starts after letting out a deep breath. “I know you’re worried. And I just want you to know, I am too. But I’ve been dealing with this for a long time now, and he eventually gets better every single time.” He pets Buddy’s fluffy head. “I know it’s scary to see him like this but you and I love him unconditionally. And that means we get to be there with him in sickness and health. OK, sweet puppy?”
Buddy just snuggles himself deeper to Ash’s lap and Ash hugs him back with fondness.
Eiji claims he feels much better after he wakes up from his nap and Ash knows he’s not lying since the coloring returned to his cheeks, even if it’s only a little bit. Eiji doesn’t want to drink the soup Ash’s made immediately, so Ash’s content to crawl inside the comfy sheets with him to read his husband a book, Buddy lounging on the bed with them at their feet.
Ash pauses before he opens the first page of the book. “You sure you don’t need anything else, my love?”
Even though Eiji’s face is tired, his doe eyes are bright like usual, and Ash feels them stare into his soul like they’ve been doing from the very beginning.
“No.” Eiji answers softly. “I’ve got everything I need with me.”