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Lyon trudged stiffly through the trees, every inch of his body aching. It had been a close call, but he was back on his feet again. Racer's explosive lacrima had contained more force than he had anticipated, but he was tough and absolutely refused to be taken out by such a lowdown trick. Now that he had regained consciousness and recovered somewhat, all he had to do was find his allies again and figure out what to do about this whole Nirvana debacle.
It felt like he'd been stumbling around for ages before he heard voices up ahead. He couldn't make out the words, but he caught the low timbre of Gray's voice mixed in. That was good—at least he was safe. And he had better be grateful.
"I won't forgive you!" Sherry yelled, and Lyon frowned. It was good that she was safe too, but what was she going on about? "Revenge for Lyon-sama!"
Lyon reached the edge of the forest and stepped out of the trees, only to see Gray holding Sherry down as Natsu and Lucy looked on.
"Revenge for whom, exactly?" Lyon asked. "Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."
Damn, that was a good line. He smirked in satisfaction as every head swiveled towards him. Sherry's obvious relief was gratifying, but Gray's reaction puzzled him.
The cocky smile and remark of "he's a stubborn one" were only to be expected, but after his initial expression of relief, Gray stayed silent and seemed to retreat into himself. Lyon was temporarily distracted by the sight of Nirvana's corruption seeping out of Sherry and leaving her unconscious on the ground, but once he ascertained that she was alright, he turned his attention back to the object of his concern. As he explained how he had survived jumping off the cliff with Racer and his bomb, he studied Gray discreetly.
Gray's cocky, if reserved, attitude seemed normal enough, but it was just a front. Even though they hadn't been close in years, Lyon had once known how to read Gray's moods, more or less. He still remembered how to spot the shadows gathering in Gray's eyes like storm clouds. Something was clearly bothering Gray, but he couldn't figure out what it was.
"Alright, you can take care of Sherry," Natsu said, interrupting Lyon's musings. "You probably shouldn't be fighting anymore anyway."
Lyon wanted to insist that he was still perfectly capable of fighting and could outmatch the Fairy Tail mages anytime, thank you very much, but he restrained himself. He really wasn't in any state to fight, and neither was Sherry. As her guildmate, it was his responsibility to take care of her and make sure she got to safety.
"And you?" he asked instead.
Natsu grinned. "We're gonna take down the rest of Oración Seis and stop Nirvana, of course!"
"Of course you are," Lyon said dryly. He glanced down at Sherry and wondered where he should take her. They didn't exactly have a home base anymore.
"We should go," Lucy added, glancing at the column of light shooting into the air some distance away. "Before it gets any worse."
Gray nodded once but said nothing.
"Let's go!" Natsu said. "Later, Lyon!"
The Fairy Tail mages turned and began running towards the light of Nirvana, but Lyon reached out and grabbed Gray's arm. Gray turned back, arching an eyebrow in unspoken question. Natsu and Lucy disappeared into the trees some distance away, not seeming to notice that they had lost a member.
"What is it, Lyon? I have to go."
"You can talk with me for a second and then catch up to your friends."
Gray sighed in annoyance and shook off Lyon's grip. "Alright, I'm listening. What do you want?"
Lyon narrowed his eyes. "I want to know what's wrong with you."
"There's nothing wrong with me."
"There's clearly something bothering you."
Gray shook his head sharply. "No, nothing's wrong. And even if it was, I don't see why you would care." He turned away. "If that's all, I'll be going now."
After the whole business on Galuna, Lyon supposed he shouldn't be surprised if Gray was wary of him. But he had almost lost Gray in trying to resurrect Deliora, and it had taken that much to make him realize that he still cared after all.
"Hey! Gra–!"
They looked towards the sound of Lucy's voice floating out from between the trees. Her cry broke off in the middle of Gray's name, but she didn't sound distressed. More likely, she and Natsu had finally noticed that they were missing someone.
"Guess that's my signal," Gray said as he started forward.
"Wait!" Lyon burst out, not willing to let him go without a fight.
"What?" Gray asked, annoyance written all over his face as he spun back around. "We really don't have time for this."
"Saving the world can wait for a few minutes. Now, you've had this brooding look ever since I showed back up. Nothing's wrong, you say? Then the only reason I can think of for your current preoccupation is my arrival. Are you really that disappointed I didn't die?"
Lyon was only half joking. He had thought that this joint mission to take down Oración Seis might bring them a little closer after the Galuna debacle, but he couldn't be quite sure. Gray wasn't nearly as easy to read as he had been as a kid.
Gray recoiled at the words. "I don't even wish death on my enemies," he said harshly.
Lyon raised an eyebrow. "I do recall that you tried to kill me once."
Gray looked away. "It wasn't something I wanted to do. You were trying to resurrect a demon. What did you expect?"
Lyon considered his words, trying to puzzle out the jumble of emotions behind them, but it was a lost cause. Gray had become something of an enigma.
"Well, then, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," Gray said again, his voice flat and dull.
"Honestly, if you keep this up, I really am going to have to consider the possibility that my miraculous recovery disappoints you," Lyon pressed. He didn't really think that was the case, but if he pushed this line of thought, Gray might be more likely to crack.
Sure enough, Gray sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He stared at a point somewhere off to the left, his gaze unfocused.
"What you did… It just…reminded me of what happened with Ur, I guess."
Lyon blinked at him in surprise. Out of everything Gray could have said, this was perhaps the least expected. He felt a twinge of heartache at hearing Ur's name, but pushed it aside.
"What do you mean, exactly?" he asked hoarsely, although a general idea of Gray's thought process was forming in his mind.
Gray let out another breath, still refusing to look at Lyon. "Ur sacrificed herself to save me. You jumped off a cliff with an enemy and his bomb to save me. Hell, even my parents died to save me, and Natsu almost got himself killed facing off against Deliora just to stop me from using iced shell. The people around me are dropping like flies."
He laughed dryly, but it wasn't an amused sound. Lyon grimaced. Gray's tone was carefully neutral, but there was an undercurrent of bitterness underlying his words.
"If all those people keep trying to protect you, they must think you're worth saving," Lyon offered.
"Well, maybe I'm not!" Gray said, his turbulent emotions finally breaking through his carefully constructed veneer of calmness. "I'm tired of people sacrificing themselves for me!"
"Maybe it's not all about you," Lyon said. He did not like the bitterness saturating Gray's voice, and the subtle edge of self-loathing was even worse. "You weren't the only one at the top of that cliff. I was protecting Sherry too."
Gray threw his hands up in exasperation and turned away. "That's not the point, Lyon! Ur didn't just die for me. She died to protect you too, but that hardly lessens the guilt, does it?"
Lyon flinched and tried to interrupt, but Gray forged on. He had begun pacing back and forth, his movements becoming more and more agitated as he continued speaking.
"She died for both of us, but she died because of me. I dragged her into my mess. And I dragged you into my fight this time too, didn't I? I dragged you into my mess, because once again I started a fight I couldn't handle. What does it matter if you were trying to protect Sherry too? You and Sherry were only involved because of me in the first place.
"Damn it!" He kicked at a rock angrily. "We searched for you in all that wreckage and couldn't find you anywhere. I thought you were dead!"
Lyon stared at him with wide eyes, unable to believe his ears. "Where do you come up with this stuff? In case you've forgotten, my team and I signed up to fight Oración Seis. You hardly had to invite me into your fight—that's what I came for in the first place. Honestly, you really do blame yourself for everything, don't you?"
Gray glared over at him balefully. "Don't be hypocritical. You make it sound like I'm so unreasonable, but you've always blamed me for what happened to Ur too."
"Yeah, I did," Lyon said with a sigh. "Damn, I hated you. You were just some kid that Ur decided to take in and teach, even though she had me. I didn't even want you there to begin with, at first. Then you went off on your suicide mission and dragged us into it. Yeah, I blamed you. And I hated you so much.
"But honestly," he said, watching as Gray turned away and bowed his head, "there's only so much blame to go around. Ur made her choice. She could have walked away, but she didn't. And I can't say that I don't understand why you went chasing after Deliora. You were so angry and grief-stricken after your parents were killed. It's natural that you'd want revenge. Maybe you shouldn't have channeled all your rage into the pursuit of that revenge, but I channeled my anger into raising the very beast that destroyed my master. You were just on a path to self-destruction. You never wanted us caught up in it."
"Yeah, you screwed up pretty bad, didn't you?" Gray said without any heat.
"Mhm. I could have ended up living with the same guilt as you, and I almost did."
Gray finally glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow.
Lyon shrugged. "My obsession just about killed you at least twice, and it could have very easily cost the lives of both your companions and mine. If Deliora hadn't already been dead, or if I hadn't been able to defeat it, it could have killed many other people. Keeping that in mind, I don't really think I should be judging you for what happened with Ur.
"But I don't let that mistake rule my life. I don't spend my time wallowing in guilt. I live in the present and accept that I made mistakes, just like everyone else in the world. Yeah, you screwed up, but you aren't the only one. It's part of life. You need to stop wasting your time and energy regretting the past."
Gray snorted softly and slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants. "It's not something I worry about on a daily basis. Just when current events stir up old memories."
Lyon sensed a half-truth, but he let it go.
"Can I go now?" Gray asked dryly, not quite meeting Lyon's gaze. "We still have to stop Nirvana."
"Just one more thing," Lyon said.
He swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly dry. There was something else he needed to ask, something that had been bothering him since Galuna. He just wasn't sure he would like the answer.
Gray sighed. "What is it now?"
"Back on Galuna, when you threatened to use iced shell on me…"
Lyon trailed off as he considered the best way to approach the issue, and Gray waved him on impatiently.
"Get on with it."
"I thought you were bluffing at first, and I said that you didn't have the guts to die," Lyon said, and Gray nodded curtly. "You told me that not only were you serious, but you had been ready to die for ten years."
Beside him, Gray stilled momentarily. Then he glanced back at Lyon, his face perfectly expressionless aside from a hint of wariness lingering in his eyes.
"I might have said that," he said neutrally.
"You did say that," Lyon countered. He would know. That statement hadn't bothered him at the time, but it had haunted him ever since.
"Alright, alright." Gray waved his hand dismissively. "What of it?"
"Is that true?" Lyon asked point-blank.
Gray shifted uncomfortably, and Lyon could practically hear his thoughts churning.
"Yes," he said slowly, drawing out the word. "It was true, but don't look at me like I'm suicidal or something."
Lyon grimaced. "Well, what do you expect? You just kept on trying to use iced shell. It was like you wanted to die. I don't see where you get off complaining that other people sacrifice themselves for you when you turn around and do the exact same thing."
Gray huffed in irritation. "I said that I was ready to die, not that I wanted to die. I'm not on a suicide mission, so stop giving me that look. I don't need your pity." Lyon wasn't sure what look he was apparently giving Gray, but it couldn't be good. "I'm not looking to die, but I'm also not afraid of death.
"As for iced shell… It seemed fitting, really. That's how Ur saved me, and it seemed natural for me to use it to save someone else. I've seen so many people die for me that I'd really prefer it to be the other way around next time. Oh, don't look at me like that. Natsu already chewed me out for it. He was right when he said that we should live for our friends rather than die for them. That's what I'm doing and what I intend to continue doing, at least until I don't have any other choice."
Lyon did not like Gray's line of reasoning at all, but he wasn't sure what he could really do about it. He did not think a lecture would go over well, but he had to at least say something.
"I guess I was just hoping that you had changed your mind since then. You were bent on self-destruction as a kid, but your circumstances have changed since then, haven't they? You lost your family and Ur, but you have Fairy Tail now. You have a family again, and I hope it gives you a new reason to live."
"I lost you too," Gray breathed so softly that Lyon almost missed it. Lyon's heart twisted, but Gray continued on at a normal volume. "You're right. Fairy Tail is my new family, and they've done a lot for me. I'm not looking to die, Lyon. I'd rather live with them. It's just that I'd rather not see this family get torn apart like my other two, and I'm not afraid to put my life on the line if that becomes a possibility."
His other two families? In that case, he must have considered Ur and Lyon to be family at some point. To be honest, Lyon had considered Gray as something like a brother a long time ago as well. If Gray felt the same, then maybe there could be a way to mend their relationship once the dust settled here. Lyon would like the chance to try.
"Alright, then," he said. "Your new family needs you. What the hell are you doing loitering around here?"
Gray scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I could ask you the same thing," he countered dryly. "Well, I'm off, then."
As he walked away, Lyon knelt down to pick up Sherry's limp form. Hopefully, she'd wake up soon so that he didn't have to carry her the whole way. When he straightened up again, he noticed that Gray had stopped in his tracks.
"Don't die, yeah?" Gray said without turning back around. "I don't have anything nice to say at your funeral yet."
Lyon gaped at his back before smiling ruefully and shaking his head. "Same goes for you. Be careful out there."
Gray waved one hand in acknowledgment and jogged away, towards where Natsu and Lucy had disappeared earlier. Lyon watched his retreating figure and shook his head again.
"Take care of him, Fairy Tail."
They had already entered the forest by the time Lucy realized that Gray was missing.
"Hey, Natsu!" she called, coming to a halt. Natsu skidded to a stop several paces ahead and turned back to give her a quizzical look. "It looks like we lost Gray."
"Already?" he asked with a huff. "Slowpoke."
Lucy looked around, but Gray was well and truly missing. She didn't know where he could have wandered off to in the past two minutes.
"Hey! Gra–!" She broke off as Natsu slammed his hand over her mouth. She pushed him off. "What? We need to find him."
"Just wait for a second, will you?" he said. "Let them have their talk."
"Huh? Who? Gray and Lyon?"
Natsu nodded and scowled, looking back towards where the column of light spiraled into the air. "Maybe we should just leave him. He can catch up later."
"I guess," Lucy said halfheartedly. She would really prefer if they stuck together, but stopping Nirvana was imperative.
Beside her, Natsu cocked his head. "Actually, let's just wait. I doubt those two ice blocks could stand talking to each other for long anyway. We can spare a few minutes."
Lucy threw him a puzzled look, unsure of what had made him change his mind so suddenly. "Alright, then."
She sat down on a nearby log to wait, shifting restlessly. The coming showdown with the rest of Oración Seis was making her nervous, especially since she was pretty much out of magic already. She looked for something to take her mind off of it.
"Where do you think Wendy and Charle ended up? I guess Happy is still back at the river with Hibiki. Too bad he was frozen in a block of ice, or he might've been able to save us from going over that waterfall. But seriously, can you believe we actually fell over a waterfall? It's like a book or something. Hmm… Maybe I should add that into one of my novels. I think that–"
"Can you be quiet for just a sec?" Natsu interrupted.
He sounded more distracted than mean-spirited, as if he hadn't really been listening to her at all. He stood rigidly among the trees, frowning at the ground in concentration. For the life of her, Lucy couldn't figure out what he was doing.
"Why?" she asked. Sudden fear gripped her. "Do you hear something? Is something sneaking up on us?"
She looked around nervously, peering through the sea of tree trunks. She sincerely hoped that an enemy wasn't about to pounce on them from the undergrowth.
"No, no one else is around here," Natsu reassured her.
"Then why–?"
"Shh," he interrupted again, brow furrowing in concentration. His hands clenched into fists as he scowled at the ground.
He was obviously listening to something, but what? Lucy considered all the available options before an idea occurred to her.
"Are you listening to Gray and Lyon?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"What are they talking about?"
He just shook his head. "No offense, but it doesn't really concern you."
Pouting, she crossed her legs and settled back down to wait. "Are you sure you should be eavesdropping on their conversation? I mean, what if it's private?"
Natsu cut a glance her way and snorted in amusement. "This coming from the girl who was just dying to know what they were talking about."
Lucy huffed in irritation. "I think you're the real hypocrite here. You won't tell me what they're saying because it 'doesn't concern me', but they aren't talking to you either."
An unusually serious expression settled over Natsu's features.
"Things about Gray concern me," he said, before turning back to his apparent scrutiny of the ground.
Lucy watched him contemplatively, picking up on the double meaning. Honestly, for all those two fought and hurled insults at each other, they really seemed to be the best of friends. Sometimes they seemed so different, but sometimes they seemed extraordinarily close. They had a strange relationship. She didn't understand them at all.
"We will," Natsu muttered, startling Lucy out of her reverie.
"What?" she asked uncertainly.
His head snapped up, and he met her gaze. "Nothing. Gray is coming back."
Sure enough, there was a rustling behind them, and Gray came jogging into view before stopping short. "Oh, I thought you guys went on ahead. What are you still doing here?"
"Well, Natsu was–" Lucy started helpfully, before Natsu hastily covered her mouth again.
She smirked behind his hand. It served him right. He gave her a warning look before dropping his hand.
Gray watched them with a puzzled expression. "Natsu was what?"
"Nothing," Natsu muttered. "We were waiting for you, slowpoke."
"Well, excuse me," Gray huffed. "You could have gone ahead."
"It's always more fun when the team is together," Lucy said. "Anyway, I guess we might as well get going."
"Yeah." Natsu regarded Gray with an unusually grave look in his eyes. "Just watch yourself, yeah? Nirvana is a magic that can change your heart if it's unsteady. Focusing too much on negativity could make you fall into darkness."
Gray and Lucy stared at him, unsure of why he felt the need for the reminder. It definitely had the tone of a warning.
"What are you trying to say, flame brain?" Gray asked, a dangerous edge to his voice. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Natsu shrugged. "Just a friendly reminder to be careful."
"I can take care of myself, thanks," Gray shot back, still eyeing him.
Lucy puzzled over Natsu's odd behavior once more. Gray was strong and unfaltering, in regards to emotions as well as strength. He always seemed to have complete control of his emotions and never seemed bothered by the kind of feelings that would lead to a fall into darkness under Nirvana's influence. Well, he had been rattled by the events on Galuna, she supposed, but that had been a one-time deal.
"Gray isn't moved as much by those types of feelings," Lucy assured Natsu. "He'll be fine."
Both boys turned to stare at her, each wearing an expression she couldn't read. After a moment, Gray threw her his trademark half-smile and nodded sharply.
"Right," he said.
"You think so, do you?" Natsu muttered at the same time, quietly enough that the other two almost missed it.
Gray threw him a sharp look. His eyes suddenly narrowed in suspicion, and Lucy wondered if he suspected that Natsu had heard more than he should have.
For her part, Lucy just shrugged. She sensed a hint of worry in Natsu's eyes, but she didn't know what he had to be concerned about. She wondered what he had overheard and if it had given him cause for alarm, but she didn't expect to get any answers.
She blew out a breath irritably. Natsu and Gray were enigmas, and she didn't have the time to sit here and figure them out right now.
"In any case, we should get going," she said.
Natsu's serious expression melted into a smug grin. "I'm all fired up!"
Gray just shook his head at his friend's enthusiasm. Natsu glanced back and gave him a lopsided smile. Gray looked taken aback for a moment before offering a sly half-smile in return.
Lucy watched the exchange curiously. They hadn't used words, but she got the feeling that they had exchanged some kind of understanding. Really, these boys were impossible to understand sometimes.
"Aren't you coming, Lucy?"
Lucy jumped in surprise and spun about. Natsu and Gray were running towards Nirvana already. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed.
"Yeah!" she said as she took off running. Those two could figure out their worries later, without her help.
After all, it didn't really concern her.