Chapter Text
“So first off: no eating people. I refuse to believe that the only way for you to get the nutrients you need is to eat my neighbor’s brains.”
Doesn’t have to be neighbors, Eddie, Venom whined. Can be anybody! Just bad people, if you want!
“What I really want is to not eat anyone, V,” Eddie said, his mouth a thin slash. Venom huffed.
An hour ago you were very interested in “compromise and communication” when it benefited you. Eddie felt his cheeks pink. Fuck, he didn’t think V would flip the script on him like that. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before taking a deep breath and continuing again.
“We are comprising and communicating to find something that benefits the both of us,” Eddie said without stumbling. Thank God he took all those speech and debate classes in college. “I really, really need to not be a cannibal; you really, really need a certain chemical that’s in human brains and hard to find in other animals, yeah? We’ll find a way.”
Venom grumbled, but Eddie could tell he was starting to relent; he just needed a final push. Eddie steeled himself, and said: “If we really need that chemical or whatever before we can find a replacement, we can eat a very bad guy only if we absolutely need to. Okay?”
Venom sighed. Okay, Eddie. Compromise.
“Compromise,” he agreed. “Also, we need to be careful when you manifest and when I answer out loud.”
Duh.
“Yeah, yeah; I figured you already knew that, but I thought it was worth saying anyway. I’ll probably need to start wearing earbuds or whatever if talking during our runs is gonna become regular.”
Eddie’s symbiote hummed in response. His grip on Eddie was beginning to loosen, becoming more comfortable, and Eddie was very much enjoying leaning back into it. Fuck, he was getting distracted.
“And no uh, no threatening to eat Mrs. Chen or her cat. The cat’s a little shit head, but Mrs. Chen loves him and we owe Lan a lot, so y’know. Don’t hurt our roommates.”
Roommates? Venom rumbled, snapping out of his reverie. We’re going to stay with the old woman and her ugly little beast?
“Well, at least for a little while, yeah,” Eddie said, fumbling. He felt the hair on his arms raise and his shoulders involuntarily tense.
We don’t want to be roommates! Venom yelled. We want to be us!
“We’ll still be us V, we’ll just have to–”
To hide? Venom growled. Eddie was quiet. Eddie, we don’t want to hide. We want– a barrage of feelings, sights, sounds, light, love, pain; an overwhelming sensory overload was thrown Eddie’s way. He gripped the sides of his skull as he struggled to put together exactly what his symbiote wanted in between the splitting headache that was wrapping around his brain.
The pain did not leave as quick as it had come. Venom hastily tried to chase the headache away, but fuck if the reverberations weren’t echoing against his skull. Heart still jackrabbiting, Eddie slowly came back to himself. He was sitting with his head between his legs, drenched in sweat, cowering by the edge of the sidewalk. His senses- his actual, real senses - hazily came back into focus until his ears popped, and he could hear Venoms loud, panicky warbles.
Sorry Eddie, sorry, didn’t mean to, was only trying to–
“V. Venom, buddy, I love you, but I’m gonna need you to turn the volume down,” he groaned into his hands. Venom rippled under his skin.
Sorry Eddie.
“It’s okay.”
Was only trying to show you something.
“I know.”
Didn’t mean to hurt you.
“I know, V, I know.”
Eddie felt a phantom sensation against the back of his neck; it was almost like an invisible kitten head butting the top of his spine. Eddie let out a huff of laughter.
“We’re good V; it’s all good. We’re both still just a little wired from earlier, is all. We'll get some food– fresh meat from the sea, maybe, and then a little something for me– and then we’ll go back and sleep at Mrs. Chen’s place. We can talk about what comes next after that, okay?” Eddie asked.
The continued rubbing of the ghost-kitten was answer enough. Eddie felt a tired smile tug at his lips. Fuck, he’d missed this.
***
They got home late, long after Mrs. Chen had gone asleep. Together they noiselessly padded into the living room, and made a nest out of well-worn pillows and blankets. Eddie tucked his limbs tightly around himself, and was rewarded when Venom squeezed back. Lazy contentment rolled off his partner in waves, and for the first time in a long time, Eddie Brock fell asleep feeling completely and utterly at peace.
***
“Bao, move goddamnit. I’ve gotta piss,” Eddie grumbled, still half asleep and achy. Venom watched curiously as the wrinkly cat hissed back at them, his ears pressed flat against his head.
The little creature had hated his presence in Eddie’s body even more than he’d hated Eddie himself, which, according to Eddie’s memories, was really saying something. They’d remained with the hairless thing and the old woman for the past two months despite Eddie promising they could get their own place soon. Whenever Venom questioned him on this, Eddie always managed to wriggle away with some half-assed explanation regarding bills and rent control and job security, but it was the underlying emotions of the conversation that worried him.
Every time Venom brought up leaving Mrs. Chen’s with Eddie, a little spike of guilt and fear would pierce their stomach before he hurriedly buried somewhere deeper which Venom could not access. It made Venom feel… frustrated, but also ashamed. But it was fine. Totally fine! Eddie didn’t want to share this with him, and with things still so delicate after their recent reunion, Venom was unwilling to push. He couldn’t bring himself upend the fragile balancing act of their bond that he and Eddie were slowly strengthening together just because of a few brief feelings of distress. And sure, the fact that Eddie so obviously didn’t want Venom to notice them probably meant that these emotions were important and should definitely be something they talked about, and maybe the fact that Eddie felt he had to hide something important from Venom hurt, just a bit, and him feel like a useless parasite that was a drain on their host, but! But they knew they had a penchant to act, as Eddie put it, “like a drama queen,” so it was probably. Fine.
Eddie was good. If Eddie thought keeping a secret was good, then it was good. If Eddie didn’t trust him, then that meant Venom was bad, but if he listened to Eddie, then he could be good too.
Destroying the world was bad. Eating heads was bad. Everything Venom had spent his whole life believing was right and correct had turned out wrong, so obviously his moral compass was a bit broken. Eddie liked to say he did everything wrong too, but Eddie saved his everyone on his planet without them even knowing while Venom betrayed his entire race. Eddie gave them chocolate while Venom gave him hunger pains. Eddie gave change to Maria. Venom killed her.
So yeah, Venom definitely understood why Eddie didn’t fully trust him. But goddamnit, Venom wanted to do better, wanted to be better, for Eddie, and how was he supposed to do that if Eddie never gave him a chance to try?
Did he… did he not deserve a chance to try?
Venom watched, silent and thinking, as Eddie took them through the rest of their morning routine. He watched him as he brushed their teeth, washed their face, dressed their now-scarred body, and ached. Venom was home, but he couldn’t show himself because it would scare their roommate. Venom had Eddie, but at the same time, he didn’t.
The cat hissed at them as they walked by with a water can. Venom felt their plasma spike under their skin, making Eddie flinch. Fuck.
“Everything okay, Eddie?” asked the old woman from behind her newspaper, and Venom was filled with resentment just as Eddie was overcome with warmth. The dual sensation was dizzying.
“Ah, yeah, totally cool Mrs. Chen, real peachy. Just got a little, uh, surprised by the cat is all,” Eddie said, absentmindedly rubbing their arm to try and rid their body of goosebumps. The old woman pursed her lips.
“I… okay, Eddie. Don’t know why he’s been so mean to you lately; I would have thought he’d warm up to you by now,” she said, concerned.
Eddie faked a laugh. “Ah well, you know how cats are. Fickle little things always asking for attention, and then turning their butt to you when you try to scratch them on the back.” Mrs. Chen laughed.
Bao reminded Eddie of someone else, and Venom felt himself bristle with the comparison.
We are not like the little house pest! he snarled, winding tight around Eddie’s midriff under his shirt. Apologize!
“He’s actually a house pet,” Eddie said, wincing.
We are not that either! Not a pet, Eddie; equal!
“Doesn’t act like much of a house pet,” Mrs. Chen said, rolling her eyes, “what with all the meanness and running away and all.”
We didn’t run away! Venom wailed. Eddie ran; we couldn’t find him!
Eddie felt his grin freeze and twist as horror swept through his body. Oh god, what the– Ven, V, she’s not talking about you; she’s talking about the cat, he thought, panicked.
Scrambling for a way to exit the conversation so he could deal with Venom, Eddie quickly put his foot in his mouth: “Ha, well, what can you do? Cats; can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.”
Mrs. Chen stared. “I… I realize English is not my first language, but I do not think that is a saying.”
“It’s not, but, well,” Eddie stumbled, trying desperately to think of an excuse to run and comfort his symbiote, “it… could be? I’m trying to make a thing outta it.”
Mrs. Chen continued to stare blankly at Eddie while he felt his cheeks redden.
Eddie, the low voice in his head warned. Fuck, he had to do something.
“Well! I still have to piss, so,” Eddie started, attempting a slight little hand wave before promptly half-running, half-walking to the bathroom. Eddie slammed the door behind him, and looked toward the mirror, concerned.
“Venom,” he said softly. “Hey, buddy, what’s wrong? Why’d you blow up in there?”
Eddie’s reflection remained his own, no alien visage superimposed over his face. He felt his stomach sink. Eddie sighed. “Whatever upset you, I’m sorry, and I’m– I’m sorry I didn’t come find you earlier too. But you gotta tell me what’s going on; you’ve been tense and snappy for days. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
Suddenly, white-hot and foreign rage rushed through Eddie’s blood, making him stumble. “What the— what the fuck?” he said, panting.
You don’t know what’s wrong? Venom snarled, tensing Eddie’s muscles. You feel like you don’t know what’s going on?
“...Yes?” Eddie tried. Black tentacles sprung from Eddie’s shoulders, looping around his arms and pulling him hard against the sink. “Shit!” he hissed, “V, what the fuck?”
As quickly as they came, the tentacles disappeared. A deep feeling of shame slowly worked through Eddie’s body. “Venom… what’s going on?”
We’re sorry, Venom said, his voice small. We don’t know why we always act like this, he said, frustrated. Don’t want to act like this.
“V, c’mon,” Eddie mumbled, hand resting gently over his chest where he could feel his other hiding. “Come outta there and talk to me.”
Quietly, Eddie waited to see if Venom would respond. After about a minute and half of heart beats later, he did. Black seeped through Eddie’s skin and shirt to form a lone hand placed over his own. Sorry, Venom mumbled again, and Eddie flipped his palm over to squeeze his hand.
“It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.”
They stood there like that, gently swaying, for a few sweet moments before Venom shifted and melted back into their body. Before Eddie complained, Venom formed a smaller, less intimidating version of their head to snake from Eddie’s shoulder to look at him. He kept his eye whites low.
Eddie smiled, tired. He ran his thumb under his other’s chin, and curved up to rub against his cheekbone. Venom’s eyes squint in pleasure, and he let out a soft purr. Eddie felt his grin grow.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“Hi.”
“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
“...No.”
“Will you tell me what’s wrong anyway?”
“...Yes. But only if you do too.”
Eddie shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said, doing his best to squash his anxiety.
“That!” Venom yelled, surprising him. “ We don’t like that! We hate that!”
“I– what?” Eddie said, confused.
Venom huffed, frustrated that his partner couldn’t instantly understand his meaning. “When you try to hide your feelings with us; when you don’t want to share,” he said, drooping.
Eddie paused. “V, I love you, but we don’t have to share everything. It’s not healthy.”
“Maybe for a human,” Venom argued, “but together we’re not just human anymore. We’re… more. And feeling your emotions and not understanding where they’re coming from or how to alleviate your discomfort gives us a headache. It feels strange.”
“Well, okay, I guess that makes sense. But there are somethings I want to keep to myself; remember our talk about boundaries?” Eddie said, brow furrowed.
Venom gave the impression of an eye roll. “Yes Eddie, we remember. But you are not hiding little things that affect just you; you’re hiding things that we need to be part of too.”
Eddie cocked his head, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Things like the house!” Venom said, snapping. “You won’t tell us when we’re moving out, or let us help make any decisions! We know we’ve made bad choices before, but you are good, and you can help us make good decisions! But instead you make all the decisions, and we just have to watch.” Venom dropped back under Eddie’s skin, suddenly feeling very small and upset. “We don’t want to just watch, Eddie,” he mumbled. “We want to be part of things too. We want to be equal. We’re not a baby or a pet. Not stupid, Eddie.”
“Venom,” Eddie said, blinking hard, “Venom, hey, hey. Come back out, it’s okay, I’m– fuck, I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t know you felt that way,” he said, biting down on his lip, hard. “I never wanted to make you feel that way.”
Eddie began to pace, frustrated with himself. It was hard to bite back on his anger, but god dammit, he was trying to be a better man. He’d wanted to be a good example for Venom, to be supportive and knowledgeable and warm, but now he’s gone and fucked up his other’s emotional well-being just like all of his other partners.
“No Eddie! Not a fuckup!” Venom said desperately, manifesting a head and panicked eyes.
“No, V, it does matter,” Eddie said with a sigh. He sat down heavy on the closed toilet seat. “I made a mistake, and I hurt you, and that’s not cool. But,” he said with a deep breath, “we can make it better. We can talk it out.”
Suddenly, Eddie laughed with a snort. The symbiote was confused. “Fuck V,” he said, grinning ruefully, “I can’t believe you got me to become emotionally mature.”
“There are many benefits to symbiosis,” he said hauntingly. Eddie laughed again.
“Yeah, yeah there sure are,” he said, reaching up to stroke Venom’s face. Eddie steeled his own, and drew his hands back to rest on his thighs. “Okay, down to business. What do you wanna talk about first?”
“The house,” Venom blurted. “We don’t like it here. We can’t come out to see you like this,” he said, bumping his head against Eddie’s shoulder, “And we can’t talk to you often because you’re afraid of the old woman finding out about tus.”
Eddie flinched. “Okay, yeah that’s… that’s actually a big problem.”
“We don’t want to hide all the time,” Venom mumbled. “Know we have to do it outside, but want to be able to move and stretch and speak in our own home.”
“And you don’t feel like you can do that,” Eddie said sadly. “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”
“Tried to! But you kept pulling away. Wasn’t worth it,” he said, casting his eyes away from Eddie. “Besides, you are good. Decided if you thought it was good that we stayed, that it was good if we– if I hid, then it was.” Venom looked back to his horrified host. “We realized recently that we are bad, but together, we could be good! We could be a hero, Eddie! We are heroes!”
“Venom,” he gasped, running his hands up and down his symbiote’s flank, “Venom, no, no, you’re not bad! How could you– no, you’re not–“
“Eddie,” Venom interrupted, “We regularly have to stop ourselves from egging you on to eat you fellow humans. We are not good.”
“Well I’m not good either,” Eddie declared. “I mean, you saw what I did to Anne! What I’ve done in the past to get a story, my relationship with my dad– you KNOW I’ve fucked up big time before, but you still– you still love me, right?”
“Of course we still love you!” Venom said, upset. “You did good things too! You saved the world! That makes you good!”
“You saved the world too, V,” Eddie said softly. “There’s no way in hell I could’ve done that without you.”
“Oh,” said Venom, leaning into Eddie’s hand that was slowly stroking his head.
“Yeah, ‘oh’” Eddie said with a gentle smile. “We’re both fuck ups, but that doesn’t make us bad people; it just makes us people.”
“We’re not people, Eddie,” Venom said, look up towards Eddie with big, sad eyes.
Eddie shrugged. “Don’t have to be human to be people, love.” Warmth spread through Eddie’s chest, mixing with his own relief and careful feelings of protectiveness with his other’s.
“I love Mrs. Chen like family,” Eddie said more seriously. “My mom died when I was born, and my dad never much cared for me. Lan’s been there for me in ways no one has ever have before, and that’s why I haven’t wanted to leave. I didn't want to tell you that because it felt embarrassing, but you’re you,” he said, smiling. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you, and I don’t want to make you stay secret in a place that you should be able to feel safe and relaxed in.”
“We can come back,” Venom said. “We can still visit, buy from the store. And we promise not to eat the cat,” he said with a playful, tooth grin.
Eddie reflected his own right back at Venom. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Um,” said Mrs. Chen from the open doorway, “You’d been in there for a long time and never answered me when I called, so I grabbed a key from the closet and opened the door, and uh… what the fuck is going on in my apartment?”
“Oh shit,” Venom and Eddie said together.