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Renjun was Mark’s best friend. People were often surprised to see them spend time together because they were both really different. At school, Mark was part of the science club and Renjun was part of the swimming team. And no matter how many times Renjun tried to convince his friend to join a sports team, nothing would do. Mark preferred the comfort of his textbooks and theories over teamwork and practice. Their after-school schedules were pretty mismatched - Mark had meetings on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday whereas Renjun had practice on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. And since they were now both seniors (Mark was held back a year after he arrived from Canada), their homework and assignments took a lot of their time too. They would wait for each other on Wednesday, Mark sitting outside of the pool locker room, usually with a biology book open on his lap, until a wet-haired Renjun came out to attack him. Mark would retaliate with weird and uncommon biology facts (apparently a human produces enough saliva through a lifetime to fill 2 swimming pools, Renjun really hated that one) and then they would walk home.
But still, they managed to make time to be together. Every Saturday, Renjun would visit Mark’s house early in the morning, his school bag hanging from one shoulder. Mark never was the one to open the door for him as he was still sleeping. Saturday was his resting day, the one day in his week where he could take all the time he wanted to do absolutely nothing. But Renjun didn’t care. It was the day they could spend together and neither of them cared if it meant doing homework. Everything they did together was nice, at least Mark thought so.
(And this had nothing to do with the massive crush he had on his best friend).
Today was a Saturday, and for the first time in months, Mark was already awake when Renjun knocked on his front door. Still, he didn’t move an inch from where he was laying in his bed, leaving the task to his mom. He didn’t want to admit it, but coming to the realization that he had a crush on a guy was scary and definitely confusing. He didn’t think it was something that was possible for him since he had had girlfriends that he had loved in the past. But Renjun was a complete other story. He made his heart beat uncontrollably with the tiniest touch, to the point where Mark was scared his friend would notice if he got too close. Mark wasn’t stupid, though. He knew people were gay, he just didn’t know he was, or that he was attracted to guys as much as he was attracted to girls. He was just confused about what was happening. He wasn’t like his friend Jeno who had seemed to know he was gay all his life and had started dating Donghyuck, his other friend like it was just the most natural thing in the world. It didn’t come as easy for Mark. He had dated girls before and he had never thought about the possibility of being with a boy. But that was before Renjun suddenly became so pretty.
Well, Renjun had always been pretty, Mark couldn’t deny that, but he just had never noticed how pretty the younger boy was. It just made him want to get close and that was what scared him. He wanted to hold his hand in his and kiss his birthmark. He wanted to play with his fingers when he was stressed. He wanted to run his hands through his soft blonde locks. And the scariest of it all: he wanted to kiss Renjun. So bad. He had kissed people before, but never boys. Renjun was the first of everything boy related to him. So Mark was terrified, hence why he was still hiding in bed, even if he knew that it wouldn’t take long for Renjun to come barging in his room and throw his whole body on top of him.
And true enough, his younger friend entered the room, discarding his bag on the floor without a care, before jumping on his bed. Mark couldn’t help the loud huff that escaped him as Renjun climbed up his body like a koala.
“Wakey wakey, Markie,” the Chinese boy had settled on top of him with his head in the crook of his neck. Mark had to use all of his self-control to not push him away when he felt him rub his nose against the sensitive skin of his neck. He didn’t want to push him away because he was disgusted. It was simply because they were so close that he was scared Renjun would feel the loud thumping of his heart. But pushing him away would seem suspicious; either Renjun would think something was going on or he would think he had done something to upset him.
Instead, he settled for simple skinship, encircling his arms around Renjun’s waist, indicating that he was already awake this time around. Who cares if Renjun could feel his heart beating wildly? At least he had the opportunity to hold him close. But his friend broke contact too quickly to his liking, complaining about how he should have let him in instead of making his mom do all the work.
“I’m sorry! I was still tired,” he pouted (damn, Renjun really made him do all kinds of crazy things) in hope that his friend would accept his poor apology, “Do you need help with your homework?”
Renjun flopped on his back before letting out a loud sigh, “I have no idea what I’m doing in physics… and calculus… and chemistry,” another sigh, “And English…”
Mark gave him a little pat on the shoulder to encourage him, “Let’s get to it then. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can watch movies.”
So the two of them got to work, Mark explaining most of the things Renjun had trouble understanding, which was basically everything they had seen in the past three weeks. Mark wanted to scold his friend for not listening in class and not taking the time to properly study, but when he saw him pouting, he felt all his annoyance dissolve. He had to restrain himself from tackling him to the ground and kissing his whole face. Fortunately, they managed to finish all the work they had for the upcoming week rather quickly. Usually, they would have dinner before they were done, but not this time. Unfortunately, Renjun kept that same cute pout for the entirety of the time.
When it was finally time for them to put away their textbooks and scribbled papers, the sun had already set and Mark was glad that Renjun’s was now focusing on what to order for dinner instead of math and physics. His pensive expression definitely didn’t have the same effect on him as his pout. In the end, they settled for an order of fried chicken and wings (honestly, that’s what they ate most Saturdays anyway). Mark wanted to complain about it, but once he saw Renjun’s bottom lip start to pout slightly, he instantly agreed to whatever he was saying.
The thing was: Renjun is a messy eater. Even during lunch time, Renjun would find himself in front of a table full of crumbs and rice, depending on what he had brought to school, once he was done eating. Sometimes, he would get sauce everywhere on his face and hands, or even on his school uniform. Mark couldn’t count how many times they had rushed to the bathroom just before the sixth period to make sure Renjun’s vest still looked somewhat presentable and if it wasn’t the case, Mark kept a change in his locker.
Today was just another example of how messy Renjun could get. He had dipped his wing in the ranch sauce, and Mark had just looked at him because he knew Renjun didn’t even like ranch dressing, but he didn’t have it in him to stop his friend from doing so. Renjun could swear that one day, he would like it, but obviously, the day had not come yet when he grimaced after taking his first bite. In the process, he dropped his chicken wing on the floor despite scrambling to save it from its ultimate doom. Mark couldn’t help but laugh when a whine escaped Renjun’s lips and he noticed that his friend had smeared some ranch dressing on his cheek.
Before he knew it, Mark had leaned over and had wiped Renjun’s cheek with his thumb before bringing it to his mouth, much like a mother would do to her child. It was oddly domestic and Mark didn’t think much of it until he saw his friend’s expression from the other side of the table. It wasn’t the first time Mark had done that, to be honest, but Renjun was frozen in his seat, looking directly at Mark with the funniest expression the oldest had ever seen. Instead of laughing at his friend again for reacting in such a weird way, he coughed once and started eating again. Great, he had made things awkward.
“Mark…” the boy didn’t dare to look at his friend at the mention of his name, but he felt like he had to after he heard him sigh, “Who’s gonna clean the floor?”
Mark laughed, relieved that Renjun wasn’t making a big deal out of his action after all, “Rock, paper, scissors. Loser cleans up everything while the other prepares the film.”
“Deal.”
In the end, Mark lost and had to clean the table and the lost chicken wing on the floor while Renjun skipped happily to the living room to choose a movie for them. It gave Mark a bit of time to think about what he had just done and what he could do now. Maybe telling Renjun would be a good thing, but it was scary. Mark wasn’t sure if Renjun was into guys at all. Yes, he was touchy with his friends but so was Mark before he realized he felt some kind of attraction towards the same sex. Touching his friends is not what made him like Renjun. There was a possibility that Renjun was only touchy with them because he was comfortable enough to act like that around them, and even then he wasn’t really extravagant like Jaemin who would cling to anything that breathes, keeping his touch to a minimum. Maybe he could just subtly bring up the fact that he likes boys and see how Renjun would react? That seemed like the best option and he marched into the living room, ready to confront his best friend.
But upon entering the room, Mark’s resolve collapses at the sight of Renjun all cuddled up in the blanket he had carried all the way downstairs for their movie night. The lights were out and the only thing he could hear was the soft music of the main menu of the movie Renjun had chosen. Of course, it was Zootopia. Suddenly, he was scared of what would happen once he told him. What if it changed their relationship? Surely, Renjun wouldn’t let something like that come between them, right? He was fine with Donghyuck and Jeno after all.
But his main worry now was finding a place where he could sit. Renjun was already laying down on the couch, occupying the whole space despite being so small. It’s not like he would complain because he looked really cute with the blanket up to his neck. It seemed like Mark would never be able to refuse anything his friend wanted, so when Renjun opened his arms and motioned him to slide under the duvet, he did not hesitate.
Renjun was definitely more affectionate with him when they were alone on their Saturday ‘dates’. For some reason, the smaller boy always insisted on being the big spoon when they were cuddling and, although not complaining about it, Mark would like to be able to hold him sometimes too. But this position was perfect to engage in a conversation he was more than reluctant to have with his friend. The fact that he couldn’t see his face was a bit reassuring.
“‘Jun?” Mark heard his friend groan, but he knew he wasn’t actually annoyed that he was talking while the movie was playing. Plus, they had seen it at least 6 times already so Renjun knew the movie and he wouldn’t be missing anything if they had a little discussion.
Instead of answering him, Renjun just pressed his small body against Mark’s back and hid his face in his hair. Mark understood that he was listening to him so he kept going.
“Renjun, I like guys,” he then felt his friend tense up behind him so he quickly stuttered some more, “I think... I do?”
It came out more as a question than anything and it made it clear for both of them that Mark was still a bit hesitant. Renjun shifted behind him and Mark got scared that the younger was getting up to leave after his confession, but that was not what Renjun had planned. Instead, he rolled Mark on his back and sat on top of him, his legs on each side of the elder’s body. He then placed his hands beside Mark’s head, trapping his friend under him.
“Mark Lee,” Renjun was looking at him in straight in the eyes and it took everything not to look away from his intense gaze. He looked so intimidating. “Are you messing with me?”
Renjun knew Mark wouldn’t joke about something like this, but he still wanted to hear him say it, “No, I really think I like boys, at least as much as I like girls.”
“And how did you realize this?” Mark almost cried because this whole thing was pretty embarrassing for him. How could he tell his friend that his sudden epiphany had been brought forth by none other than him?
But Renjun wasn’t it go, “Was it another boy? Tell me, Mark.”
The sound Mark managed to let out was barely above a whisper, “Yes…”
“Who was it? You know I won’t judge you, right?”
“It’s you,” the sounds were muffled by the arm he had brought up to hide his face so of course, Renjun asked him to repeat himself because he didn’t understand what he said. This time though, instead of hiding again, Mark decided to speak up confidently and just tell his friend since he wanted to know. “It’s you. Everything about you. I want to hold your hands and cuddle you, but not like we do right now. I like you.”
And Renjun giggled. He giggled at his confession before falling on top of him and hiding his face in his neck like he would do so often. Mark was so confused about what was going on. He had just come out and confessed to his best friend all at once and Renjun was just giggling uncontrollably in his neck.
“Mark,” said boy felt Renjun’s breath on his neck and, much like this morning, his heart started beating faster, “I’ve been waiting for you to come around for so long! I’m so happy!”
“Y-You knew?” He couldn’t help but stutter a bit at his friend’s words.
Renjun suddenly sat back on him and he almost let out a whine at the loss of warmth, but that would have been so embarrassing considering their current position.
“I had some doubts. I mean you never shied away from our touches and maybe you didn’t notice it, but I could see you looking at Jungwoo when we would go to Jaemin’s pool parties,” Mark looked away because he really had not noticed that he was doing any of that, but Renjun took his chin between his fingers and forced their eyes to meet again. “Don’t worry, I know Jungwoo is a really pretty man. But you’re more my type, Mark Lee.”
“Your type?”
Renjun punched Mark’s chest, eliciting a pained moan from the older, “Why are you so dense? For a guy that reads books all day, you’re really hopeless…”
Mark then watched his friend lean down in what seemed to be slow motion until he was close enough to peck his lips. It wasn’t like in a movie where the actors get lost in the moment and their eyes close by themselves. There wasn’t any fireworks, no butterflies. Mark was absolutely frozen and Renjun had broken the contact just as quickly as it had happened. Now they were left staring at each other.
“Was that your first kiss?”
Mark swallowed the lump in his throat, “With a boy yes…”
“Me too… Do you want a second one?”
Mark look from Renjun’s eyes to his lips, “I wouldn’t mind…”
And so Renjun leaned back in.