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Lara Croft was tired.
She was tired beyond the telling of it. In the hospital for the better part of two weeks, on some powerful painkillers for a wound that had ended up being infected, she’d been groggy and out of it, too out of it to feel exhausted. And when she wasn't on the drugs, Sam was there, and there was a certain comfort and energy Lara felt around Sam that dulled the edges of any pain or fatigue.
Even running around Yamatai with a case of dehydration, sleep deprivation and a poorly dressed wound didn’t touch this level of exhaustion, because she’d been hopped up on ridiculous levels of adrenaline. Even on the ship after being rescued, there was a certain amount of adrenaline keeping her from truly feeling the toll Yamatai had taken on her body. Now, the adrenaline was gone, and Lara was standing alone in the doorway of her apartment.
Sam had wanted to bring Lara back, get her settled in, but Lara had insisted she was fine, that Sam should just go back to her apartment and take a well deserved rest. It wasn’t that Lara didn’t want Sam there. Lara desperately wanted Sam with her, and that was why she had insisted on returning home by herself. It wasn’t fair to Sam, this level of attachment that Lara had developed. Sam was kind and friendly and loyal, and Lara would not take advantage of that.
Lara sighed and flicked the light switch on. Seeing the living room again was a strange experience to say the least. It looked exactly as Lara had left it, books stuffed into the shelf on the far wall, some papers spread out on the coffee table and a few volumes stacked on the small table next to the sofa. It was all the same, but felt so, so different now. Like this was someone else’s apartment, and, in some ways, it was. The thought exhausted Lara even further.
Lara dropped her duffel bag by the door, clicked the lock shut and made her way to the bedroom. She pulled off the soft gray fitted t shirt that Sam had brought her to wear home from the hospital. Then peeled off the jeans that Sam had actually purchased for the occasion, because, to quote Sam directly, ‘an ass like yours deserves to be in the best jeans money can buy.’
Just remembering Sam, winking teasingly as she handed Lara the jeans made Lara blush. That, of course, had been Sam’s only goal, to get a reaction from Lara, and Lara, with her nervous laugh and deep blush hadn’t disappointed.
Lara smiled at the memory, then quickly shook her head put her phone on the bedside table, dropping the jeans on top of the shirt.
Lara momentarily considered taking off her bra and underwear, but decided against it. Lara felt less exposed wearing at least something to cover herself. Besides, taking off all her clothes would take energy Lara wasn’t sure she was willing to expend. The decision made, Lara slid into the bed and her blessedly cool, comfy soft sheets.
And stared at the ceiling. The silence echoed in her head, a thousand different thoughts and memories flashing through her brain. As tired as she felt, Lara could not will herself to sleep. She tried rolling over, but couldn’t get quite comfortable, so rolled back over on her back. Tried shifting to the middle of the bed, shifted back.
After an hour of futility, Lara sighed and sat up in bed. She grabbed her phone and pressed the home button, staring at the screen.
It was a new phone, one Sam had bought for Lara while Lara was recovering in the hospital. Lara had expected a default lock screen, but instead, it was a selfie of Lara and Sam from Sam’s social media. Sam had been in a playful mood, pressing her cheek against Lara as she pulled Lara close for a hug. Lara had offered a small grin in spite of the fact that Sam was interrupting her attempts to read a truly fascinating book about the development of the Proto-Canaanite alphabet.
Lara smiled at the memory, then closed her eyes and rested her head back against her pillow. She opened her eyes again, unlocked the phone, scrolled to Sam’s contact, and paused, her finger hovering over Sam’s number. Then she quickly locked it and tossed the phone on the bed next to her. Just because Lara wasn’t sleeping, didn’t mean Sam had to be awake too.
Lara sighed again and resigned herself to staring at the ceiling for the foreseeable future. And she did just that for about 5 minutes before her phone started ringing. Very few people had her new number, so Lara wasn’t even a little surprised when she saw who was calling at this hour.
“Hello, Sam,” Lara said as she answered the phone with a small smile.
“Hey, hi,” Sam said.
“Is everything ok?” Lara asked when Sam didn’t immediately offer anything else.
“I, oh, yeah, everything’s fine,” Sam said. Just from her tone of voice Lara could imagine Sam biting her lips, her eyes darting around as she tried to control her nervous energy. She took a steadying breath and continued.
“Just wanted to see how you’re doing. I don’t want to intrude or anything if you just wanted some alone time, just wanted to see that you’re ok,” Sam said.
Lara’s grin grew as she realized what was going on.
“Where are you, Sam?” Lara asked.
“What’d you mean?” Sam asked, all heightened innocence that Lara knew was always feigned.
“You and I both know you can’t lie to save your life, Sam.” Lara said, then repeated with a lilt of amusement. “Where are you, Sam?”
“Wha-why,” Sam started, then sighed in resignation. “Fine, alright, I’m outside your apartment. I came over here because I couldn’t sleep, then I realized maybe you needed your space and I didn’t want to bug you.”
“You’re never a bother, Sam,” Lara said. “You can use your key to come in. I’m out back in the bedroom.”
“Oh, now there’s an offer I can’t refuse,” Sam said as Lara heard rustling in the background, presumably Sam looking for her key. “Not everyday a pretty lady invites me into her bedroom.”
Lara blushed and rolled her eyes, as much at herself for being so easy to fluster and Sam for her silly faux-flirting.
“Yes, well,” Lara said, clearing her throat. “If watching me snore and drool on my pillow is your idea of a good time, I don’t doubt you’ll have a wonderful evening.”
“Be still my beating heart,” Sam teased as Lara heard the door to her apartment open. “How ever will I contain myself.”
Lara smiled and laughed softly as she bit her lip. She heard the door to her apartment close and Sam move across the apartment towards her room. Lara sat up as Sam opened the door. In the dim light of the room, Lara could barely see Sam, so she reached over and turned on her bedside lamp to cast a low, soft glow across the room.
Sam stood in the doorway with the phone in her hand, having just hung up. She appeared momentarily surprised. Lara hadn’t a clue why for a second until Sam cleared her throat and smiled cheerfully as she gestured to Lara’s chest.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I,” Lara stammered. “I was so tired when I got home, I just, this is all I could manage before getting into bed.”
“No, no, totally ok,” Sam said as she came around to the empty side of the bed. “Not like we’ve never seen each other in bra and underwear. I just didn’t know the dress code.”
And without hesitation, Sam pulled her t-shirt off to reveal a soft, comfy pink bra. Then pulled off her yoga pants to reveal matching comfy underwear, because of course even Sam’s lounging underwear would match.
When Lara didn’t immediately respond as her brain tried to figure out exactly what to focus on, Sam’s smile faltered.
“I’m sorry, is this not ok?” Sam asked. “Totally didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, just the opposite, figured we’d be even, you know, but if not--
“No,” Lara said, reaching out to grab Sam’s hand as she went to pick up her shirt. “No that’s fine, that’s a good idea.”
Then, perhaps to prove to both herself and Sam, Lara smiled and patted the pillow next to her.
“Come on in. It’s a bit chilly in this flat and the bed is ever so comfy,” Lara said.
Sam did as she was told, slipping under the covers and lying on her side with her head rest on her arm as she faced Lara.
Lara did the same, lying on her side to face Sam. Sam just looked at Lara, a soft smile on her lips for several long seconds. Lara smiled back and shook her head, feeling the blush rising in her cheeks as it always did when Sam flirted. Lara’s first instinct was to say something and break eye contact, to somehow dilute the intensity of the moment. Instead she gazed back at Sam, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Sam’s ear.
Sam’s eyes fluttered closed for a second as Lara did, but she didn’t otherwise respond.
“So you couldn’t sleep?” Lara asked softly. “Bad dreams?”
Sam shook her head, hesitated for a long second before taking a breath and speaking.
“I was thinking about you,” Sam said, her voice soft and tentative, so unlike the confident, assertive Sam Lara had grown accustomed to. “I was worried about you.”
“Worried about me?”
“I know, I know, it’s ridiculous,” Sam said. “To be worried about a fully grown, totally bad ass, independent woman. But I still worry.”
“I’m here, safe and sounds,” Lara said, only then realizing that her fingers were still resting on Sam’s cheek. She slowly pulled away before smiling again. “As you can clearly see.”
“I know,” Sam said, sighing as she readjusted to get more comfortable. “I just, you don’t take very good care of yourself, and you insisted on going home by yourself. You even somehow managed to get super dehydrated on an island with an absurd amount of drinkable water. So I worried that I wasn’t here to make sure you were alright.”
Lara smirked and rolled her eyes.
“I feel like there’s a possibility I might never hear the end of that one,” she said, because Sam had brought up the dehydration issue no less than three times while she was in the hospital. “I’m honestly ok. Just tired.”
“Well, just humor me, will you?” Sam replied, reaching out for the hand Lara had just moved, rubbing her thumb over the back of Lara’s hand. “Let me take care of you.”
Lara bit her lip and nodded, not trusting herself to speak without crying. There was just so much tenderness, a softness in the way Sam was looking at her and touching her that made Lara’s heart ache, that gave her an almost unbearable rush of affection.
“Good,” Sam said, scooting closer. “Because I could use some serious cuddling right about now, and I feel like you could too even though I know you will never ever ask.”
Sam was right of course. Lara did need that comforting, soft touch, but would never dream of asking Sam for such a thing. She knew Sam would do it without complaint, but Lara wasn’t about to take advantage of Sam’s willingness to help. If Sam was asking for it though, it felt only right to give her best friend that comfort.
So, without saying anything Lara sat up to turn off her bedside lamp. Then she moved close enough that she could hold Sam. Sam leaned into the embrace, resting her head on Lara’s shoulder and resting her arm gently on Lara’s stomach, careful to avoid Lara’s scar even though it was pretty well healed.
As soon as Sam settled in, Lara felt her body immediately relax into Sam’s touch. Lara hadn’t realized how desperately she need this, needed to feel the warmth and softness of Sam’s touch.
Lara shifted a tiny bit and cleared her throat to refocus her attention.
“How’s that?” Lara asked.
“I usually prefer big spoon, but I’ll make do,” Sam said, and Lara felt Sam smile against the bare skin of her shoulder.
Lara had the fleeting thought that this should feel weird. Cuddling with her best friend in just bra and underwear, her very attractive best friend who faux-flirted at every available opportunity, should be weird. But it wasn’t. It felt comfortable and warm and right in ways that Lara’s normally analytical brain couldn’t precisely quantify.
Sam snuggled further into Lara’s side, resting her foot over Lara’s ankle as Lara felt Sam’s eyelashes flutter closed.
“Comfy?” Lara asked.
“Mmhmm,” Sam murmured. “Ever so comfy. Just like you said.”
Lara laughed quietly.
“Good,” Lara said, letting her eyes drift closed too. “Sleep well, Sam.”
Sam made a non-committal noise and they both fell quiet for awhile. In those few minutes holding Sam, Lara felt herself drift closer to sleep than she had in the previous hour. Lara was pretty sure Sam was alseep or hovering close to it as well.
Until, a few minutes later when Sam broke the silence.
“I’m not a terrible liar, you know,” Sam said softly.
“Hmm?” Lara mumbled sleepily.
“You said earlier that I’m a terrible liar,” Sam said. Lara could feel that Sam’s eyes were closed but she sounded far more awake than Lara felt. “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” Lara said, still not clear on why this was something that was coming up at this precise moment. “It’s not a bad things, but you’re a horrible liar.”
“No, I’m not. I can lie in general. I can lie really well when I need to,” Sam said with certainty. She paused before continuing. “I can lie to everyone but you.”
“Is that so?” Lara asked, keeping her eyes closed as her fingers traced lazily up and down Sam’s arm.
Sam nodded, but seemed reluctant to add anything else.
“And why are you now seeing fit to tell me this?” Lara asked.
“Because,” Sam started, rubbing her toes absently against Lara’s ankle. “Because I just realized why. And I can’t lie to you, so I obviously have to tell you.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” Lara said.
Sam buried her face further against Lara’s shoulder, as if embarrassed or reluctant to speak. Then she mumbled something against Lara’s skin that Lara couldn’t quite make out.
“What was that?”
Sam pulled away a little, and Lara opened her eyes, a bit put out by the loss of contact. When she did, Sam was looking right at her. Her face was no more than a few inches away so that even in the relative darkness Lara could see Sam pretty clearly. Despite her light, carefree demeanor, Sam showed these flashes of intensity, and had always been passionate. Seeing the combination playing across Sam’s features took Lara’s breath away.
“I said,” Sam replied, reaching out to brush a strand of hair off Lara’s forehead, her hand shaking as she did. “It’s because you’re like my soulmate.”
Lara simply stared at Sam for a long second. On the list of things she expected Sam to say, that had not even entered Lara’s consideration.
“I mean, I’ve thought that for awhile,” Sam continued quickly, nervously. “For a long time I thought it was like a platonic BFF soulmate situation, like we just balance each other so well that we’re meant to be a part of each other’s lives. But--
Sam paused and took a long shaky breath. Operating on instinct because her analytical, rational brain seemed to have short circuited, Lara reached out for Sam’s hand and squeezed it encouragingly.
“But what, Sam?” Lara asked, almost whispered. It felt like speaking at full volume might break whatever spell seemed to have fallen over this little moment in space and time.
“But I think it’s turned into something different. For me at least. It’s no secret that you’re really absurdly attractive, like, inside and out. It just, all kind of came together for me, all at once when you were in the hospital. I was sitting there, worried out of my mind about you, thinking about how unbearable it would be to never see you, touch you again. That was when it just sort of hit me,” Sam said.
Then a long pause where both Sam and Lara seemed to be holding their breath before Sam finally spoke.
“I’m kind of totally in love with you.”
A soft, surprised, sound was all Lara could manage at first. The unbearable rush of affection for Sam, the warmth and comfort she felt with Sam in her arms, it all made sense now.
“It’s ok if you don’t feel the same,” Sam continued. “I am 100% ok with the whole platonic soulmate situation. Platonic isn’t any less meaningful than romantic, just different, and I can be totally ok with that. I just wanted, I thought you should know. Full disclosure since we are half naked in bed together, and my shameless flirting wasn’t getting through. Even when I--
“Sam,” Lara said firmly, a smile pulling at the corner of her lips. “Look at me, please.”
Sam looked right at Lara, and Lara reached out and brushed her fingers lightly over Sam’s cheek.
“You know I’m not a woman of words, right?”
“Well, I mean, your wrote like two separate 200 page theses because you couldn't decide which ancient alphabet you liked better, and are conversant in no fewer than five languages. So, you know, I kind of feel like the exact opposite could be argued,” Sam said. “But go on.”
“I know. I was trying to be smooth,” Lara said, with a self deprecating eye roll. “I was going to say was that I’m far less a woman of words these days, much more a woman of action.”
“Yeah?” Sam replied, a tentative, hopeful little smile on her lips.
“Yes, indeed,” Lara said. “And then I was going to ask if I could kiss you.”
Sam nodded quickly and Lara immediately pressed her lips to Sam’s, resting her hand in Sam's hair to pull her closer. Sam moved slowly, carefully so that she was on top, straddling Lara’s waist as she leaned into the kiss and deepened it. Sam rested against Lara, but held some of her weight to keep from pressing down on Lara’s injury. The ache didn’t bother Lara enough to stop, not with Sam on top of her, kissing her like that. So Lara rested her hand against the small of Sam’s back and pulled Sam closer again, to better feel the warmth of her skin.
Lara had never been one to have particularly intense carnal desires. She had sexual desires and attraction, but never felt the irresistible impulse, that urgent, right-here-right-now need. Until the moment Lara tasted Sam’s lips and felt that comforting warmth, that electrifying heat of Sam’s skin. In that moment, Lara felt she need Sam more than anything.
It was physical need, to be sure, but there was something intensely emotional about it. Lara had been so close to Sam for so long, had become so attached that the thought of losing her on Yamatai had physically hurt. And now, now that it was all culminating in this kiss, in this quiet moment of intimacy, Lara needed. She needed to be closer to Sam, to be touching more of her skin, holding her tighter. Because Lara never wanted this particular feeling to end.
Sam made a soft humming noise against Lara's mouth before pulling away just enough to speak.
"So what are your thoughts on bras right now?" Sam asked a bit breathlessly.
"Take them off," Lara said, and Sam smiled as she reached back and unhooked her own bra, then dropped it on the floor.
Lara had seen Sam topless before, one of the hazards of living in an apartment with one bathroom and a door that only occasionally locked. She'd never seen Sam like this though, never on top of her grinning breathlessly at Lara like she know exactly what she was doing to Lara.
"Now, as much as I enjoy you staring at me," Sam said, as she leaned back down, still careful of where she put her weight, and trailed kisses up Lara's neck. "I'd like a chance to do a little staring of my own."
Sam traced her fingers up Lara's arms, and Lara took the hint, sitting up on her elbows to unhook and take off her own bra, keeping her eyes on Sam the whole time as she laid back down. it was Sam's turn to stare at Lara for a long second, before leaning back down and kissing Lara harder than before.
"Mm," Sam hummed against Lara's lips. "Has anyone ever told you that you have amazing breasts?"
"Yes," Lara said, smiling into the kiss as she pulled Sam's body down so that their bodies pressed together. "You've told me that a couple of times."
"Seriously though," Sam said. "How did you not get that I was into you? I was pretty shameless."
"I thought you were joking," Lara said, pausing to sigh as Sam's fingers traced just under her breasts. "Just pretend flirting like friends do."
"Oh, my sweet, oblivious Lara," Sam said with an affectionate smile."I never joke about such things. Even before I put it all together there was definitely a real...aesthetic appreciation for what you've got going on here."
"Mhmm," was all Lara could manage as Sam sat up a bit, just enough to trail slow, lazy kisses down Lara's chest, her fingers tracing patterns, squeezing gently once in awhile.
Sam kept at that for awhile, in no particular rush to move things along, apparently just enjoying the touching and kissing and the soft contented sounds Lara made in response.
She had managed to remain mostly still during Sam's ministrations with the exception her hands running through Sam's hair, then over the bare skin of her arms and back. Then a particularly well placed kiss as Sam gently pinched sent a shock to Lara's core that made her hips jerk. The dull ache in Lara's side turned into a sharp shooting pain for a split second, and Lara could stop the hiss of pain that she let out.
Lara hoped Sam missed it, or mistook the sound for something else. Because Lara wanted to please Sam, wanted Sam to please her, just didn't want to ruin the moment, and she could put up with a little pain once in awhile.
Lara's hope was in vain, because Sam immediately stopped what she was doing and looked up at Lara.
"Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" she asked.
"No, I, it wasn't you," Lara said quickly. "I'm fine. just a little twinge, that's all."
"A twinge," Sam said skeptically. "I know you have an absurd threshold for pain, and do not make those sounds for a twinge."
"I'm fine, honestly," Lara said, her fingers still moving in lazy circles on Sam's arm. "Just didn't expect it, that's all."
"Oh my god. I totally forgot," Sam said, looking stricken."Not about the penetrating wound, that's kind of impossible to ignore. Didn't your doctor say something about no strenuous activity for awhile? I remember because you were pissed about not being able to go on that expedition."
"She did," Lara admitted. "But I'm really ok."
"I believe you're ok," Sam said, shifting her weight off of Lara so that she was laying on her side half on Lara. "I just don't want you hurting yourself."
"I can deal with it," Lara insisted. "Can't we just pretend this whole conversation didn't happen?"
"No, we can't," Sam said, her fingers resting on Lara's uninjured side tracing small circles. "Because now I'd be worried the whole time that you were going to pop a stitch or something."
"I don't have any stitches to pop," Lara pointed out.
"Yeah, because you did some Macgyver shit to burn it closed," Sam said.
"I cauterized it," Lara said, trying to sound like the logically one here, even as she saw this would be a losing battle. "You make it sound so barbaric."
"Yeah, you cauterized it with a lighter you found on a dead guy and the tip of an arrow," Sam said. "Then you proceeded to run around the island for another few days scaling walls and getting shot at on the regular. That kind of trauma needs some time to heal."
"The doctor said I did an excellent job," Lara protested weakly.
"The doctor also said you should avoid strenuous activity until your next follow up," Sam said as she smiled against Lara's shoulder. "And trust me when I say sex with Sam Nishimura is generally a pretty strenuous athletic endeavor."
A little shiver of pleasure ran up Lara's spine at the thought.
"I just want you to enjoy it without getting hurt, ok?" Sam said, running her fingers through Lara's hair as she gazed at her. "This is me taking care of you."
"Alright," Lara relented. "I wouldn't want you worrying the whole time."
"And there's no rule against kissing and cuddling," Sam said, rubbing her foot against Lara's calf. "We could do that until we fall asleep."
Lara brightened at that. The intimacy was really what Lara needed in that moment, the tender touches and soft kisses would be more than enough. She needed to be close to Sam, physically and emotionally, and this would do it for her.
"I can work with that," Lara said as she went in for a slow, soft kiss that she felt Sam smile into.
And that's just what they did, lazy kisses and soft aimless touching, their bodies pressed together. There was a moment when it got a bit more heated and Sam slowed Lara down with a gentle reminder and kiss on the cheek to show she wasn't truly in trouble. Lara couldn't tell how long they kissed and held each other before they started dozing off, fingers gradually slowing and the kisses getting lazier.
Lara was more than half asleep when Sam's fingers stilled and her breath started evening out. She half opened her eyes to look at Sam in that moment and was overwhelmed by the affection she felt for the woman. More than affection, Lara knew exactly what it was.
"I'm kind of totally in love with you," Lara whispered.
Lara couldn't say for sure, but she was pretty sure she saw a faint smile on Sam's lips as Lara held her closer and drifted off to sleep.