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It started as a joke. It always started as a joke. Which, he should have known, would not go down well at all.
If anyone asked him why he was stuck in the ventilation system above Mr. Stark’s bedroom, his only response would be that the Avengers are salty and petty towards internet famous people. Especially when the internet famous people post accurate incorrect post about the Avengers.
This is all Ned’s fault.
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Ned was wheezing on Peter’s bedroom floor as he recounted what happened at the compound’s breakfast table. Dr. Banner throwing the sickest burn at Falcon about getting it , “There’s a reason it’s written PhD with a capital D. And I have seven of them.”
“Peter, man, imagine if the internet knows about it. It’ll go viral.”
Peter scoffed, “Yeah as if they’d believe it.”
“Not if you post it as an incorrect account.”
A pregnant silent in the the air. Both teen looked at each other with a manic grin and clasp their hands together, “Let’s do it!”
Ned pulled out his own laptop and began signing up for a twitter account while Peter began a google doc on things the avengers have said. Within half an hour, Ned had a page set up with appropriate banners and an icon and Peter had at least a month’s worth of daily content. They were ready.
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4 days
Four days later, @incorrectavengers had twenty thousand followers on twitter. MJ then invited herself over to a ‘study session’ with Ned and Peter, both too intimidated to tell her no and they did have a history quiz coming up and MJ is the best study partner for that.
So three of them sat in Peter’s living room, popcorn and some snacks laid out on the coffee table and as the two boys resigned to the fact they’ll actually have to study, MJ opened their group session with a “We need to get incorrectavengers on instagram. We need to grow the network and you Spidey boy need to get more content at your next internship . Show me what you have now and we’ll schedule what and when to get posts out.”
Peter swallowed a twizzler wrong - he didn’t even like them, and he swore that the red plastic product is looking to kill him - and hacking his lung and esophagus out. Ned just blinked.
MJ, in a very MJ style, ignored them and began their - yep, it was theirs now - instagram account for incorrectavengers . “Ned, what’s the email you’re using for it.”
“When did you know ?!”
Peter was this close to falling into his spidery tendencies and curl up into a cocoon on his ceiling, but you know, vigilante level restraint and all that.
She rolled her eyes at his antics and send an attachment to Peter’s inbox. A diagram. A timeline. With full colours and comparison chart. “TLTE: Too long to explain. Read yourself. Oh, don’t worry you nerds, I won’t tell anyone.”
Peter was impressed, very impressed. He also almost clocked Ned in the face as his supposedly best friend coughed up a “Nerd crush!” at his awe stunned expression. He settled with a glare and threw his half chewed twizzler at Ned instead. “Gross!”
Ned shared the Google Drive with MJ and she squinted at the content list for a full minute. “You need to put your enhanced hearing to good work Peter.”
Peter nodded, “That’s the plan. Mr. Stark invited me to stay over at the compound this weekend from Friday and May said it’s cool. He’s going to teach me about the quinjet engines!”
“Oh god nerds.”
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2 weeks
And 1.7 million followers on Twitter later.
MJ punched his shoulder in PE, “We’re blue.”
“What?”
Ned gasped and pulled out his phone, “Oh my god Peter, we’re blue.”
“What??”
He gets a phone screen shoved into his face causing him to go cross-eyed, “Is that?”
“Oh yeah.” Ned.
“Oh my god we’re verified.”
“Oh yeah.” MJ.
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1 month
Peter gets a notification as he lay on bed, revising a physics test. “Congratulations … you are now instagram verified!”
May had to shush him for the first time in ages as he ran around their limited apartment space but later joined in his laughter and excitement. She made him cocoa to celebrate and he video called Ned and MJ to share the news.
May smiled the whole night at their antics.
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1.5 months
It was Saturday afternoon at Stark Tower, most of the team are on a mission and it’s only a few of them in the country. Mr. Sta- Tony has SI matters to deal with in town so they decided to have their internship session at the tower.
Happy dropped him off and he bound through the gates with excitement. He saw Ms. Potts on the way to the lab and she gave him a hug and kiss to the cheeks. “How’s school Peter?”
“It’s amazing Ms. P- Pepper!” He corrected himself with a shy grin, “Got an A in Spanish and History. Practising Spanish with Mr. Stark really helped.”
“That’s good to hear Pete, we’re so proud of you.” Pepper ruffled his hair softly, “I’ll let Friday know you can have extra dessert tonight for a treat, how about that?”
“Yess! You’re the best Pepper!” Sky blue eyes smiled at his excitement, “Don’t let Tony hear you say that or I’ll never live it down.”
The lift dinged and FRIDAY’s voice spoke from the ceiling. “Ms. Potts, Peter, please be careful when stepping into the lab. Boss and Butterfingers have spilt paint on the floor.”
Peter tried to hide his laugh behind Ms. Potts, the woman herself was giving Tony Stark and his three lab bots a stern dressing down. After Ms. Potts left for a meeting, Tony led him to a secondary lab to work on the Spider-man suit while the cleaners cleaned the mess. Peter promised to help give Butterfingers a good clean if Tony cleaned U. Surprisingly DUM-E was not the cause or even caught up in the mess this time round.
When Peter’s stomach sang the song of its people, Tony laughed at his tomato face. “Should have remembered to feed the Spider-baby sooner. How you feel about chinese and pizza to celebrate Pete?”
Peter’s stomach threatened to grumble again at the mention of food but then titled his head, “What are we celebrating Mr. Stark?”
“Your incorrectavengers’ twitter and instagram got verified right? That’s an achievement kiddo, we should go wild.” Tony’s grin grew as Peter’s face paled, “I hope the fame hasn’t gotten to your head kid.”
“Oh no.”
“I have FRIDAY on notification duty for both account, real good work kid. Is that friend of yours, Fred, Ted- “
“Ned.”
“Right, Ned. He helping you with that too?”
“Yes- but oh my god Mr. Stark I’m sorry, I‘ll stop now please don’t be too mad! We just thought it’d be funny and it’s supposed to be harmless, please don’t tell the others, they’ll kill me and then I won’t be Spiderman anymore and then everyon-”
Tony held his hands up in a placating manner, “Whoa Pete, calm down. I’m not mad, and I’m not telling the rest either.”
“I- you’re not? You won’t?”
“Peter, those accounts are bloody hilarious. No, I say keep them going.” The man flung an arm over Peter’s shoulders, “Besides, what’s a little fun, am I right?”
Peter smiled brightly, then it all went away again, “But what if the others find out? Won’t they be mad?”
“Relax kid, I’ll keep them off your back. If Spider-man can watch Iron Man’s six, Tony Stark can watch Peter Parker’s six.” Tony ruffled his hair - why do people love doing that - and pat his arm encouragingly. “Come on, let’s wait for the food downstairs. You can pick a movie to watch.”
It was hard for him to explain the warmth that he feels every time Tony does that, nor does he think Tony will appreciate talk about feelings. So Peter just smiles the smile. The one that always make Tony smile back.
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3 months
Both twitter and instagram account are racking in followers daily for the short time they’ve been existing. And although it seems to have slowed down, there’s always someone and something new into the folds of incorrectavengers .
Peter suggested that they get a tumblr account after getting tagged a lot in questions and fanarts. They’d use the tumblr account to repost avenger memes or artworks made from their posts and maybe a scheduled monthly Q&A. MJ agreed and set out to design their new blog with determined eyes.
Next wednesday they’re going to have the first review of her design and May’s going to cook, Peter shivers at the thought. At least there’s always delivery. A new Indonesian restaurant opened near their block but they haven’t had a chance to try it out yet, this would be the perfect opportunity.
But now? It’s protocol Extendable Ear at the compound.
For the last few weeks, the Avengers with King T’challa (minus Thor and Loki, who are still focusing on building a safe place for their people), have been busy going around the globe rooting out HYDRA hideouts from an anonymous tip. Peter bet the 10 dollars in his wallet that the anon is SHIELDS’ supposedly dead ex-director, but he has no proof aside from the occasional prick at the back of his neck and a figure in black walking away soon after when he’s at the compound. FRIDAY wouldn’t tell him anything and when asked, Tony told him not to worry. Contrary to popular belief, Peter knows when to stop pushing, so he let it be when Tony is sure it wouldn’t bring them immediate harm.
Vision, Tony, Dr. Banner and Wanda returned two weeks earlier - Tony and Vision to report to the UN while the two other to get a solid medical treatment. Peter hovered around that time. Too young and too inexperienced to participate in the big runs and that’s not even counting on Iron Man’s compete and absolute veto on his participation. So Spider-man stayed in New York, waiting. When Tony returned slightly battered and needing a few long naps, Peter spent a whole Tuesday afternoon curled at the Stark Tower penthouse with Tony. Shedding a few worried tears, watching a mind numbing movie, greasy take out - with added greens - and later tucked into bed by both Pepper and his mentor. No one mentioned the damp patch on the man’s shirt, but everyone knew it wasn’t necessary.
So today, with all the Avengers back - minus King T’challa, who has a country to run - are sitting at the briefing room. With a desire for last minute decoration, Tony had hired Rhodey and Bucky to drag bean bags into the room in exchange for chairs. The meeting table lowered to the ground so they can still see the projection screen from their new vantage point. He may have been left out from the action but Peter refused to be left out from the briefing, so he settled down to take mental notes.
Expected HYDRA activity around the globe? Check.
New York city as target? Check.
Dr. Strange appearing at one of their operation? Check.
Breakdown of situation protocol to compensate for magical beings crashing the party chased by an irate Master of the Mystic Arts? TBD.
Snarks? Quips? Banter?
Check. Check. Check.
Mental notes taken.
Tony made sure to look at him after a particular comments, as if saying, I hope you got that down . Peter looked back at him with a smile, of course I do .
The whole briefing was supposed to end half an hour early - a miracle of the century considering they bicker like five year olds determining who has the better braids - when Ant Man pulled out his phone to show the class.
“Guys, I’m not sure if this anyone has seen it before but someone on twitter and instagram are posting our conversations online.” He scrolled through the feed, showing the feed on the screen, “I’d think it was a fan account, y’know, just posting random things, but they blew up overnight and some of these stuff… are actually legit.”
Sam’s eyes widened at one of the post. “I said that.”
Steve and Bucky nodded with affirmative, “Yeah you did. It was dumb, still is.” Bucky grinned.
“Yeah, but I said that in the compound. In a high level Avengers mission briefing.” The reality set it, “Someone is watching us.”
Clint narrowed his eyes at some of the posts they were still scrolling through, “...I’d sooner let a dog eat my hand than hold a your baby- Hey! That’s in the middle of the fight with that octo-shark-panda things. How’d they get that?”
Natasha adjusted her legs from the back of the room. “Are you saying someone has been spying on us, watching and listening to our very moves. In this compound.” Steve frowned. When Captain America frowned, the world does it with him, “This is a serious matter, our security might be compromised. We need to find out who’s doing this.”
“Bruce and I can try and trace them later?” Tony offered.
“No,” Sam spoke up, “This is way too dangerous to leave for later. We need to lock down, there’s no guarantee they’re not eavesdropping on us now.”
Peter cleared his throat and his palms suddenly sweaty, “I’m sure I would have sensed them if they’re here?”
“Your senses work with cameras?” Bucky asked. Peter shook his head. Oh no . Tony shrugged and said what Peter dreaded, “We’ll go on lockdown effective immediately, but no warning just yet. Bruce and I can hopefully track them down, no need to worry.”
Rhodey stood up with the rest of the Avengers, “We’ll do a comb through the building, can someone do the perimeter?”
Bucky, Sam, Vision, and Wanda offered so off they went. That meant the two superspies and the two most intelligent mind is going to hunt Peter down. Regardless of whether or not Tony already knew that it’s Peter .
Right, no need to panic, let’s do this systematically. Take in your situation.
Step 1. Find a quiet place
Step 2. Contact Ned and MJ
Step 3. Do not panic
Step 4. Fail Step 3
Peter excused himself hastily and ran to his room, pulling out his phone to text the group chat. HELP THEY’RE LOOKING FOR ME .
Peter can hear the rising ruckus caused by the lockdown. He can hear Natasha and Clint coordinating the main staff for a thorough search of every nook and cranny in the compound while the others prepared their gear to search the perimeter. Tony and Dr. Banner are in the lab, their voice muffled so he couldn’t hear clearly so he focused on the three dots that popped up on his screen.
MmmmwhatchaJ:
Aren’t you at the compound? Did something happen?
Nedbot:
what who are you safe
Spiderson:
they know about the accounts
Steve just got the whole compound on lockdown
They’re going to kill me
Nedbot:
Why would they do that
MmmmwhatchaJ:
Overreaction much?
Spiderson:
They think it’s a spy since some of the posts are from high level briefings
U shldve seen the look on falcon’s face,
Oh god im so dead
He didn’t have time to see the rest of their replies when footsteps approached his room. It wasn’t any of the Avengers, he’s had theirs all memorised - so in a panic he grabbed his webshooters and flung himself into the vents.
He crawled and crawled until there he was sure there wasn’t anyone coming after him. He really didn’t like the image of someone dragging him by the foot to meet the Avenger’s rage, if worse comes to worse, he wonders who will get the honor of killing him. He surely wouldn’t mind dying to another spider to be honest, and Natasha is cool .
It took him a minute to calm his heartbeat and realise that he had somehow managed to crawl his way to the vents above Tony’s bedroom. Red bloomed on his cheeks, embarrassed by the way he instinctively finds comfort in his father/mentor figure, even if the man wasn’t around.
Pull yourself together Parker. Mr. Stark doesn’t need clingy kids around, the man has better thing to do.
Peter huffed at his cramped position and tried to maneuver himself when his jacket got caught on a loose screw. “Today is getting better and better.” He tried pulling on the fabric but it wouldn’t budge, and now his whole arm is stuck in a weird position.
If anyone ever asks how he got stuck in Iron Man’s bedroom vent, he’s blaming it all on Ned. It’s going to be fine Peter, they love you already they won’t do a thing!
No, they certainly will, if this manhunt is to show for it.
Five minutes past and Peter gave up all effort of trying to dislodging himself, he’d have to build his life from this very vent now, starting with the basic logistics. Forget MIT Peter, you’re living here now. His Spidey-sense pricked he back of his neck right before the bedroom door opened and Tony’s voice called out, “Kid you in here?”
Peter had two choices, he can admit he’s stuck in the vent and let Tony tease him for the next two month or he go back to planning his life around the ventilation system. FRIDAY it seems, decided to, well, decide for him.
“Boss, Peter is currently in the ventilation system 2 meters away from you. I believe he is stuck.”
“Stuck?” Peter can hear the hidden laughter behind the word.
“Yes Boss, he has been in the same position for the last 6.7 minutes. My scan shows he is not in a very comfortable position.”
“You, uh, wanna add anything to that Pete?”
“...”
“...”
“I think I’m stuck Mr. Stark.”
“Did you call me Mr. Stark just so it’d rhyme?”
“...no?”
“Good one, Pete.” This time, Tony did laugh. “Now let’s get you out of there, what’s stuck bud?”
“My jacket got caught on a screw. You should really have regular checks in here Tony,” A sneeze, “and a regular clean too.”
“One day kid, you’ll be the death of me.” Peter could hear ruffling and an electronic beep a few seconds later followed by mechanical wings buzzing as a small spider-like drone flew to his face - its robotic eyes blinking innocently at it. Peter had a huge urge to coo at it.
The drone beeped again and set on its way to laser off the caught cotton. A few minutes and several grunts later, Peter dropped from the vents and into the waiting grin of his mentor.
“So, how dead am I?”
Tony’s grin grew.
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3 months - 2 hours later
Sam looked incredulous. “What do you mean you can’t find him?”
Bruce looked over at Peter with smiling eyes, though he had to hide it to face the others, “We traced the signals to a library computer and everything else proved to be a dead end.”
“You must be joking.” Clint fell onto one of the chairs at the lounge. They’ve only began to gather again after two hours of manhunt, with no trace of the perpetrator. “Not even you Tony?” Natasha looked at Tony with a knowing look.
“Nope.”
Steve stood to the side pensively, “This person had so many opportunities to attack us or sell the information, but neither of that has happened or interfered with our missions. Could this just be a prank?”
“Not sure… internet trolls are not new. So maybe?” Natasha pointedly looked at Peter as he said it.
Steve nodded in agreement. “Alright, let’s leave it at that for now. Keep an eye and ear out people. This person is most like in the vicinity, any suspicious activity and you tell me or Tony.”
“I’ll keep a feeler out if any sensitive information leaks out, Brucie Bear and Underoos will give me a hand, right?” Peter blushed as Tony nudged his shoulder with his own before slinging an arm over it. “Pete here is pretty good with social media stuff.”
“Yeah, with uh memes and stuff.”
Tony echoed with barely restrained amusement, “Memes and stuff.” The team nodded in agreement, as if it all made sense.
Early Sunday afternoon, Peter packed up his homework and new webshooter schematics before heading out to the compound’s garage. Tony had offered to drive him home earlier since Aunt May managed to get the afternoon off, they were going to spend it bingeing the Great British Bake Off.
Peter bound over to the man. Tony was dressed in casual slacks and shirt with light blue blazer, his favourite pair of sunglasses perched impeccably on his nose, leaning over an orange audi. “Hey Tony, thanks again for driving me home- I’m sure you have better things to do and I’m really sorry, I could wait for Happy if you changed you mind-”
“Kid, seriously, it’s no problem so come on. Get in before I drag you by the collar.”
“Y-yeah, sure!”
Both climbed into the car and secured their seatbelt before Tony pulled out the compound’s garage, Peter waved goodbye when the passed Scott on the way out. It was a pleasant drive back with Tony. They talked about music, prank ideas, and science projects. “We have a science fair coming up! Ned and I think we’re going to make a robot that can play rock-paper-scissors with you and it’ll have basic facial recognition and we were thinking…”
Tony laughed at his ideas and offered his, their , lab to work on the project. “I better get a VIP invite Pete.”
“Y- you want to come?”
“Of course buddy! I can’t wait to see you win.”
Peter: shook
“And you know what, I’ll bring you on a ride with suit if you win. Wait, no, even you don’t win - don’t let me pressure you Pete, I just want you to have fun. You deserve it kid.”
Mind: blown
“Thank you Tony.” The older man grinned at his response, “Now, how does it feel at getting away without a scathe from an Avengers manhunt?”
“Oh my god, don’t. I think Natasha knows, what am I talking about of course Natasha knows!”
“Bruce does too, figured it out the moment we got to the lab.”
“Noooooooo…”
“Chillax kid, they won’t tell. They’re too entertained by it. Earth’s mightiest heroes led on a wild goose chase by a 15 year old-”
“16!”
“ 16 year old kid. Priceless.”
“Should I stop?”
“God no. If I bring you to a SHIELDS meeting, can you do one on Fury?”
“ Mr. Stark , do you want me dead?”
“Gosh kid, harsh treatment there.”
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3 months - 1 day
@incorrectavengers
No context
Tony stark: memes and stuff
This immediately rose to their Top 3 all time popular post. No one knows the context, but 85% of the post’s replies were in the same line as big mood and feels .
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4 months
@incorrectavengers
Nick Fury: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated on my base!
Tony Stark: Is there another type of idiocy that you would be more comfortable with?
@incorrectavengers
Nick Fury: We need you to infiltrate a HYDRA base in South Sudan
Steve Rogers: What am i gonna do, say no?
The whole world blew up and Peter Parker is there to watch it burn. Ned brings popcorn, MJ bakes a mean chocolate cake, Natasha and Bruce calms the team and Tony just adds another layer of encryption to all of @incorrectavengers’s profile.
End.