Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a surprisingly emotional morning. From the moment Sayori woke me up, I could tell that something about today was going to be different. We went downstairs and had a friendly breakfast with Mr. and Mrs. Amano. They were both pretty genuine, given the circumstances – Sayori especially seems to have cracked their hard, robot shells a little bit, at least to make Mrs. Amano a little bit emotional as we said our goodbyes. Being your daughter’s long-term girlfriend will do that, I guess, although I would’ve never thought that would be the case a while ago.

And before we knew it, we were out the door. After two-and-a-half years of living in that home, and one day after graduating high school, Sayori and I are the last two members of the old literature club to be moving out. And we’re doing so with only a bundle of pink carnation flowers in her hands and a small plate with three little cupcakes with cat faces on them…or, cat-cakes, as they’re properly called, in mine.

This has been a long time coming. Monika was the first to leave – after graduating high school two years ago, she went off to university. She was never really gone completely, though, seeing as how her college was only twenty or so minutes away by car. She split her time between her parents’ house and her university dorm, but the deeper she got into her computer science degree, the more demanding it became, which meant that she had less free time away from college…

Yuri, of course, left one year later. Her situation was a little harder. Her college is a bit more on the outskirts and close to an hour away…you can reach it by public transport, but unlike Monika it was more out of the way for us to get to see her. She was also pretty busy – who knew that English and Japanese literature (because OF COURSE she decides to study that…my beautiful little book nerd) would be so demanding? I still managed to visit her every now and then, and she tried to visit us on the weekends whenever she could, but because of all of that, a lot of me and Yuri’s time together had been pretty restricted to FaceTime over the past year, with the occasional exception.

It was definitely hard those first few months last fall when we couldn’t see each other as much, when Yuri was trying her best to adjust to college life while I tried my best to stay afloat in senior year and graduate. Thank God she was able to get out of the wheelchair and transition to a walking stick by the time she had to leave, otherwise I think I might’ve moved into that gross first-year dorm with her.

But we all survived…and bided our time. And now, it’s all gonna be worth it. Because now that both me and Sayori are done with high school, and we’re all over eighteen, and we’ll be going to colleges in roughly the same area (Sayori even got into the same university Monika goes to), we’re all moving back in together. Like, today. And by today, I mean in like less than an hour.

Monika and Yuri have been saving up for a small apartment for a few years now – Yuri through her old job at the school library and then as a research assistant at her college, and Monika through her paid internship at some nerdy computer tech company (oof, again, let me repeat: total NERDS!!!). And with Mr. and Mrs. Amano also chipping in (because I think they wanted us out of the house anyway to make room for a few new foster kids…I wonder if they’ll be disaster gays like all four of us were, hehe), they were able to save up enough to actually buy a lease on a place near where we’ll all be going to school. Monika and Yuri actually moved in a few days ago, and they’ve been spending the extra time redecorating and setting things up.

So, that just leaves me and Sayori to move in. All of our stuff had already been packed up in our room, and Monika said she would be able to take all of it and move it to the new place this morning. But before we officially leave, there’s something that we need to do first. One last goodbye before we leave the neighborhood for good.

And that’s what we’re doing now. Sayori and I cross the road over to the somewhat large park area with the old, rusted gate. I can tell that she’s trying her best to have a spring in her step, but it’s faltering a little bit. She told me before she asked me to come with her that she didn’t want this to be a sad thing…but, you know, we are visiting a graveyard.

“Hey, uh, you doing okay?” I ask her cautiously as I follow her into the cemetery. Sayori glances back at me, a small smile on her lips. She reaches over to give me a noogie.

“Aww, gosh, you worry about me too much, lil’ sis,” she says to me. But it isn’t as playful as it might have been before we entered this place. She chews a bit on her bottom lip. “It’s just that…well, you know. It’ll be a while until I get to see them again after this.” I nod, standing at the entrance to the cemetery with her. The apartment is going to be a little over half an hour away from here by car, so it’s not like she’ll have zero chances to come back to this place but…with college and adjusting to the new area, I know it’ll be difficult.

“Thanks for coming here with me. I’m…I’m sure they’d be really glad you’re here,” Sayori says quietly.

“And I’ll be really glad to see them again, too. Seriously,” I say supportively. Sayori smiles at me, gripping the flowers she’s holding in her hands. Then, she turns around, walking deeper into the cemetery.

“They’re just over here,” she says as we pass the headstones of various people. Although as we continue walking, I figure ‘just over here’ shouldn’t be taken literally – we’re heading pretty deep into the cemetery now.

Eventually, Sayori stops in front of one of the larger headstones underneath the sunlight, and I immediately tell by the look on her face that we’ve reached our destination. I read the text on it to myself:

Here lies Kouichi and Maemi Ozaki, February 22^nd, 1970, and September 19^th, 1973 – December 14^th, 2016. Taken from this world together in each other’s arms. Loving parents survived by their daughter, their personal ray of sunshine.

Fuck. I think I just got a lump in my throat. But the stone’s goddamn right about the ‘ray of sunshine’ part, that’s for sure.

Sayori takes a deep breath, closing her eyes before opening them up again with a wider smile. “Hey guys! Mom, Dad, it’s me, Sayori,” she says, looking down at the tombstone. She kneels down and places the carnations by the grave, next to some older flowers that I’m sure she’s left on previous visits. “I brought these for you…sorry it’s been a while since I visited you. I graduated yesterday! And I’m moving today, and um…that’s probably why it’ll be a while before I can visit again.” She bites her lip, a bit of a sad look on her face. But she tries to smile again. “But look! I brought someone else with me today that I know you’ll remember. It’s Natsuki!”

I step up next to Sayori, looking at her a little awkwardly and then down at her parents’ tombstone in front of us. I have to remind myself that I’m technically talking to the grave, and not her, which is a little…well, let’s just call it weird. But Sayori said it would be nice if I said a few words, so I’ll try my best.

“Uh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. O. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” I say, more than a little awkwardly. I debate whether I should give them a wave or not, but I decide against it. “So…yeah, I’m back. In Sayori’s life, I mean. Have been for a while. I know the last time you saw me I was probably in a bad place, but…I’m a lot better now. We are.” I glance over at Sayori, who seems to smile at me encouragingly. Phew, okay, guess I’m doing a half-decent job. Good. I guess I’ll continue, then. “I’ll be honest with you, I guess. My memory from my childhood is pretty bad…from all of that childhood trauma and shi…crap.” Even though we’re both eighteen now, it still would feel weird to swear in front of her parents. “So I don’t remember you guys too well. But I remember you were always really…uh, kind. You always made me feel safe whenever I was over playing with Sayori, and that was a really nice feeling while it lasted. I want you to know that I’ve never taken that for granted. You guys were really, uh, cool.”

I pause, glancing over at Sayori out of the corner of my eye. “And if you were here…I think you’d be really proud of Sayori. I know you know this already, but you have a pretty great daughter.”

Those are both severe understatements, to be honest. Sayori had a rough start to high school, what with being homeschooled and all (not to mention the events that led to her being homeschooled), but two years after she was pushed back into regular schooling, she managed to end her senior year with a nearly perfect GPA. She even graduated in the top one percent of our entire class. Not to mention the other healthy habits she’s developed, like going to bed and waking up at insanely early hours – like, she wakes up at seven in the morning on weekends, which, yeah, I know, is pretty fucking insane. Like, if you had told me two years ago that Sayori was secretly an ‘early bird gets the worm’ type of person, I would have asked who the hell you were and what the hell you had done with my sister. Not that I ever doubted her abilities, but I mean DAMN.

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. To say they’d be really proud of her would be a massive understatement.

Sayori grins bashfully, always one to be bad at taking compliments like that. But she’s gotten better over the years. “Thanks, Nat,” she mutters quietly before looking back down. “So…like, can you even believe that this is the same Natsuki you knew and loved? Now she’s all mushy and sentimental all the time! Remember when she used to pout and complain through all of our hugs? Would you believe it if I said that SHE hugs me first more than I hug her?? Oh, and don’t even get me started on the lovey-dovey things she says over the phone to her giiiirrrlfrieeend…”

“H-hey! Knock that off, dummy!” I say, crossing my arms and scoffing to try to not prove her point. But, I mean, there is a point there, so I give up and decide not to deny it. Although I think she’s really exaggerating when she says I hug her more than she hugs me…that’s a pretty serious thing to say.

“Anyway…things are good! Really good, actually,” Sayori says, smiling back down at the tombstone. “Like I said, me and Nat graduated high school! It was a really beautiful ceremony…I think you would’ve liked it. Monika even got me a nice little present for it…see?” She pulls out the small, silver necklace from under her shirt – in the center is a cute, flower-shaped locket. “I still can’t believe she got this for me, especially since we were supposed to be saving up…ehehe, but I like it.” The wide smile on her face tells me that she doesn’t just ‘like’ it, and I can’t help but giggle remembering just how much Sayori was beaming when Monika gave her that.

Sayori flashes me a little look but then continues speaking to her parents in a bit of a softer tone. “And…now we’re moving. It’s a little scary…but also really exciting! It feels sorta like a new adventure, ya know?” she asks. She pauses as if waiting for a response, but her parents don’t exactly give her one. Sayori sighs. “I’m…really happy, you guys. Things got really dark for a while, and I still have some bad days, but…I’m a lot better now. It feels like…it feels like the sun’s out and shining on all of us again, just like you told me it would when I was really bad…and after everything bad that happened, I never thought I would get here…” Something in Sayori’s voice hitches, and she brings a hand to her mouth. “I-I just…I wish you both were here to see it…”

I look at her more properly now, only to see some tears falling down her face. I hold the cupcake plate with one hand and use my other free hand to gently squeeze her arm. Sayori sniffles and looks back at me, and I can see her trying to muster a smile. “Thanks, Nat…” she says in a whisper, wiping at her face. “Um…this is going to sound rude since I asked you to come here with me, but would you mind—”

“Giving you some private time with your own parents?” I finish for her. Sayori nods a little guiltily. “Yeah, dude. Totally rude. Super rude of you to ask that,” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes as I kneel down over the grave to place down my offering to them: the cupcakes. “Can you believe her?” I ask the tombstone…which of course remains silent, but I imagine that the people buried underneath it are agreeing with me at just how ridiculous it would be to think Sayori’s request is offensive. “Anyway…I’ve left three cat-cakes here for you all to have. Sayori, you may have ONE. But save the rest for your folks, I worked hard on these. And no matter how big those puppy-dog eyes get, do NOT let her have one of yours! I made them for you!” I point at the grave.

Sayori pouts and punches me lightly in the arm as I stand back up. “Okay, they get the message! Sheesh,” Sayori says, sighing as she’s about to bend down to get her cupcake. But before she does, I suddenly stop her with a hug. I can tell she’s torn between two of her favorite things, hugs and cupcakes, but she returns it, giggling slightly as she wipes some of the tears from her face. As she pulls away, the smile on her face looks just a little bit larger as she looks down at the tombstone. “See what I mean? Total softie,” she tells her parents. I scoff.

“Yeah, whatever. Leaving now,” I tell her flatly, although the lopsided smile on my face gives away my amusement. “I’ll meet you back at the entrance gate, okay? Take your time.” Sayori smiles back at me as I back away, before looking back down at her parents’ tombstone with a bit of an expression that screams lost-in-thought, do-not-disturb. Giving her some privacy, I slowly start to walk away back towards the entrance.

I’m passing by a lot of headstones now, of pretty much all different shapes and sizes. Man, this place would have given me the creeps when I was younger, but now…heh. I guess Yuri toughened me up with all of the horror and supernatural stuff she’s into. And it’s not like it’s a stormy or even cloudy day or anything: the sun is out, the weather’s warm, and it’s actually kinda peaceful. Good location to die, I guess.

So, I’m taking my time to say the least. Looking at the individual graves. Looking at how old they are…some of them are a few decades old, sure, but the ones I’m passing by now are fairly recent. That’s a little sad to think about. Hell, some of these are really recent…ten years old, five years old…I haven’t seen any from this year yet, but this one here’s just from two years ago—

Kizumi.

I freeze. My jaw goes slack. I…I had to have read that wrong, right…? Glancing back at the entrance gate in the distance, I stop myself and read the tombstone again.

Here lies Haru Kizumi. September 22^nd, 1980 – May 5^th, 2018

It’s Papa. It’s really him. He’s here.

“FUCK!” I yell, startling even myself. I don’t even say it that loud, but something about the word feels loud. Everything around me suddenly feels heavy.

I’m…not sure why I’m so surprised. They had to dump him somewhere, after all, and this would be the place to do it. But for some reason I never really thought about where, how, or if he’d be buried at all. It’s not like there was a funeral I went to or anything. All I knew, the only thing I cared about, was that he was GONE, and that he was never coming back. Two years of therapy, two years of PTSD meds, two years of emotional support from Yuri, from Sayori, even from Monika…all of it taught me that Papa was out of my life for good, and I would never have to deal with him again…

…until now.

Part of me just wants to run all the way back to the entrance and out of the cemetery altogether. I don’t want to have to deal with this. I shouldn’t. But…something, and I don’t know what, but something would feel wrong about that. It’s not like I need to be going anywhere right this instant. And he’s definitely staying put. I look down at my father’s grave. For the first time in his life, he’s completely silent. If…if I have anything to say to him, then now would be the best time to do it…

Deep breath. Okay. Let’s make my therapist proud today. Closure time.

“I…fuck you.” I say down to him, scrunching up my face in disgust. “You don’t belong here. This place…this is a place to mourn. To pay respects to the dead. And no one’s going to pay respects to you. I don’t even know what type of fuckery even allowed you to get buried here, but…you don’t deserve to be here.”

I grit my teeth. That was supposed to feel good. Telling Papa to fuck off should have helped me feel a bit better…but it didn’t. There’s still this terrible, awful pit in my stomach that I first felt when I recognized his name among the sea of gravestones. I gulp, trying to steady my nerves. Let’s try something else.

“I-I…I hate you,” I tell Papa. That sounded weak. I try again, stepping forward. “I. Hate. You.” I spit down on his grave. Yeah. That’s better. I’m getting a bit more confidence saying that. “I hate you for robbing me of a childhood. You tried to take everything from me. Everyone I ever cared about, everything I ever loved. I hate you for trying to strip me of being an actual person. And most importantly, I hate you for trying to take the love of my fucking life away from me. And you almost did. I will never forgive you for everything you did to me, and everything else that you tried to do to me.”

I pause, grinning down at the headstone, picturing him writhing in pain down there at what I’m about to say next. “But you know what? You lost. She survived. That’s right, she lived, and two years later we’re happier than ever. I’m happier than ever,” I boast down to him. “I’m happier than you ever were in your entire goddamn life! I have a family. Like, you know, an ACTUAL family! A family that cares for me, that LOVES me for who I am, not who you think I should be! I stopped dyeing my hair like you told me to. I graduated high school and I’m going to college. I’m moving to my own place where the only one in control of my own future is me.” I jut a thumb into my chest as if to show off. “The person I am today, Natsuki OZAKI, is YOUR worst nightmare come true. You tried to ruin me. You tried so goddamn hard to bring me down to your level, to be dependent on you…and you failed. Miserably!” I step forward again, my foot touching the dirt right in front of his grave. “You lost. I won.”

That’s what I keep on repeating to myself. That’s what I was told in therapy, and it’s true. Every single day, I’m reminded of that fact by some thing or another, whether that be receiving a text from Yuri with a heart emoji at the end or being able to eat a full meal without having to worry about saving anything for later or even something as stupid as displaying my manga collection proudly out in the open for everyone to see. I have everything I could have ever wanted. This is the happy ending I could have never dreamed of ever having. I won.

But…standing in front of Papa’s grave, staring down at him, my clenched fists shaking as I try to fight back tears…I don’t exactly feel like I’ve won. And deep down, I know why.

“But…after all this time, you still make me live with you,” I say, more quietly than before. If Papa’s listening, I think he can hear me all the same. I shudder. “I still see you whenever I try to pick up a kitchen knife…thanks to what you made me do. Or whenever I hear a gunshot on TV. I…I still see you whenever I look at the scar on Yuri’s hip, where she took one of your bullets. All thanks to the fact that I didn’t act quick enough.

“I…I wish it didn’t have to end the way it did,” I admit to him. I pause, feeling the need to clarify myself almost immediately. “Not that I apologize for what happened. You don’t deserve that. I was protecting my girlfriend and protecting myself, and I would do what I did again – in a heartbeat. B-but…I wish it didn’t have to happen. I just wish you accepted your sentence and stayed locked up for the rest of your miserable life. But because you didn’t…now I’m the one who has to live with your ghost.”

I’m almost expecting a response. Some sharp retort or a slap on the face or something from the old man to show me that he was still here. Or maybe, in my wildest dreams, I’m even hoping for him to lift his head out of the ground, say ‘I’m sorry,’ and then go back down.

But…he doesn’t do any of that. Because despite what I just said, Papa isn’t a ghost, and he isn’t listening to me. He’s not really here. He’s dead and buried under the six feet of dirt beneath my shoes.

And somehow, just that little piece of confirmation gives me a bit of comfort.

“You’re going to fade away, old man,” I say, stepping back from the grave. “Soon, you’re going to be nothing more than an ugly memory. I’m going to heal. And I’m going to live.” A bit of a genuine smile makes its way on my face as I think of that. I will heal. I’m already healing. And despite the fact that he wanted me under his thumb for my entire life, Papa’s shadow isn’t looming over me anymore. I won’t let it.

And…that’s about all I think I have to say.

Slowly, I walk away from my father’s grave. Maybe I don’t feel a full sense of closure…but I feel something close to it, at least.

Sayori takes her time before coming back to meet me out front. I can tell that she had been crying a bit more, but she gives me a smile that reassures me she’s okay as she approaches. That’s a good sign. She also doesn’t ask me what I was up to, which probably means she didn’t hear me yelling at my dead dad’s grave, which is, y’know, also good. Because I don’t really want to talk about that right now when there’s something a lot more worth both of our time to focus on: the big move.

“Monika texted me a minute ago…she said she just got here!” Sayori says with a grin, using a tissue to dab at her face a little bit from some leftover tears.

“Great. Shall we?” I ask her. Sayori nods, and we both leave the cemetery. Moving into a new place, moving on from our past…heh, it’s kind of poetic in a way. And the new family we’ve made out of our old literature club is a pretty big fan of poetry, so I guess that’s a fitting analogy.

Sure enough, Monika’s car is pulled up on the curb right outside of the entrance. As we approach, she rolls down the window, an excited smile on her face.

“Ladies,” Monika says flirtatiously to us with a wink, causing me to groan and Sayori to (obviously) giggle and call her girlfriend silly. We both enter the car, Sayori hopping into the passenger seat while I take the back. All of our bags, including my box of manga, are stuffed in the seat next to me…but there’s still something missing. Or, rather, someone.

“Hey, where’s Yuri?” I ask the front of the car as Sayori closes the door. Monika turns her head back to me for a split second before she pulls the car out of park. That split second of hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed to me, though, as she gives me an otherwise completely natural answer.

“Oh! She’s just getting a few last-minute items for the apartment. Groceries and whatnot,” Monika explains. “She should be meeting us there to give you the grand tour!”

“Uh huh,” I say, a trickle of suspicion in my voice. Sure, Monika’s a great actor – I mean, she convinced me that she liked me when we first met when in reality she could barely tolerate me at the time. But I’ve figured out a lot of her tricks. Maybe she’s telling the truth, but…I also think she’s hiding something.

“Eeeee, this is all so EXCITING!” Sayori squeals, interrupting my train of thought as she buckles her seatbelt and looks between me and Monika. “It’s finally here! All four of us, living under one roof again! The Lit-Foster Gang is finally back together!”

…yeeeeaahh, okay, whatever it is, I think Sayori might be in on it, too. But, to be fair, she’s right: it IS all pretty exciting. So I’m happy to change topics for now as Monika chuckles and drives onto the main road…or, at least, change the focus of this mini-investigation.

As I let Sayori and Monika have an excited conversation in the front of the car about the move-in plans, I pull out my phone and text Yuri.

Me: Hey, on our way back. Any reason why you’re not with Monika?

The message is marked as read almost instantly, and I see the typing icon appear on the screen to show that she’s writing me something…and then it disappears. And reappears for a few more seconds…then disappears. Suspicious. It takes a few minutes for her to actually reply:

Yuri: Apologies, I am just tidying some things up in preparation of your arrival.

I raise an eyebrow down at my phone. Even more suspicious, considering that’s not what Monika said. But maybe she’s telling the truth, and if she is, it’s good that I check on her.

Me: You aren’t lifting any heavy objects, are you??? You know you need to be careful!

Yuri: Yes dear, I know. I’m not physically straining myself in any way, don’t worry.

Yuri’s been out of her wheelchair for over a year now and hasn’t needed her walking stick for a few months, too, but that doesn’t mean her leg is anywhere near as strong as it once was. Her physical therapist told her and still tells her not to lift anything heavy…but that hasn’t stopped her from getting cocky. That’s where I come in to lay down the law, and I’ve ESPECIALLY been reminding her now with all of the boxes and stuff being moved around. I wasn’t actually involved in the moving process, though, with graduation and everything, but I pestered Yuri through enough calls and texts that I think she’s safe. Unless the reason she’s not here is because she’s back in a wheelchair again…

Me: Hmph. Fiiiine.

Me: Anyway we’re in the car. Should be there soon

Yuri: I can’t wait! I will see you soon. Love you ♥

Ugh. Even when I’m casually interrogating her, she still manages to end things on a cute note. I can’t help but grin as I text her back.

Me: Dummy

Me: Love you 2 ♥

She reacts with a heart to the “dummy” text, and I blush. Okay, that’s just about enough mushy text messages for one day…especially because I’m literally moving in with her in thirty minutes. I put my phone back in my pocket as I let out a sigh.

Yuri’s been acting a little…suspicious, lately, to say the least. Her texts have been a lot shorter and vaguer than usual over the past few weeks whenever I ask her what she’s doing. There have been a few times I’ve also tried to call her during a time I knew she was supposed to be free, but she said that she was busy and needed to call me back later. So, I’ve already been getting the sense that she was hiding something from me…but the biggest hint I’ve gotten so far was at graduation.

Yesterday, after Sayori and I got our diplomas, the Amanos took all four of us out to a pretty fancy celebration dinner, and Monika made a big show of giving Sayori that expensive heart locket necklace. Yuri, though, didn’t get me anything like that, which is very out of character for her; she usually isn’t one to be outdone in giving out gifts. Not that I really mind, but that’s just how she is. Yuri did get me a nice card at the dinner though, with a very cryptic message at the end: ‘may our celebrations continue in the near future.’

I mean, that could mean absolutely nothing. Or it could be referring to the move in general, and how this is just a new phase of our life. But…now I’m beginning to think Yuri miiiight be referring to something else that she hasn’t told me about yet. And I have one theory on what that could be. A theory that’s equal parts insanely bonkers and utterly beautiful that it might just be right…but I don’t want to put my money on it just yet.

After Sayori gets my attention, the rest of the roughly half-hour-long drive is spent with excited chatter between us. Monika only trickle-feeds us information about the apartment – all we really ever saw of it were pictures of the empty space, but now at the very least we know that there is a good amount of furniture, some basic carpeting and decoration, and then, the holy grail of teases: two queen-sized beds, one for her and Sayori, one for me and Yuri. For THAT one, though, I’m going to have to see it to believe it. I don’t think I’ve ever even SEEN a bed that big outside of a mattress warehouse.

But outside of that, Monika’s largely kept her mouth shut. Yuri has, too. They’re both trying to keep everything a surprise for our big arrival. All I have to say is, with the way they’re talking everything up, it better be worth it.

Before I know it, we’ve already arrived and Monika’s pulling into the parking lot of the apartment complex. As we get out of the car, Monika, always the gentlelady, offers to carry Sayori’s bags…not mine, though, which is, y’know, fine. I didn’t even want her to carry my bags anyway. Although, to be fair the bags are pretty heavy…lots of clothes and books and all of that sort of stuff. Sayori helps me a bit with my stuff as we make our way to the apartment. Monika pulls out her key to the building and opens the door for us.

“You’re going to want to take the elevator on your left,” Monika says to us as we walk into the apartment building. “We’re on the top floor!”

Sayori and I give each other a look. Looking just at the outside of the building, I could count six floors. They really are trying to impress us. After putting our stuff down in the elevator, we press the top button and make our way up. As soon as the elevator doors open on the top floor, who else is there but my one and only – Yuri Nakamura. Her long hair is tied up in a ponytail behind her head, allowing me to see the full extent of her wide smile that brightens everything in its path. She’s standing in front of the door of…our new home, I presume?

“Ah, hello girls. I saw you coming out from the window and thought I would meet you out here,” Yuri says, walking over to meet us. “Natsuki, Sayori, I have a little present for the both of you.” Reaching into her pants pocket, she pulls out two sets of keys, handing one to each of us.

“Hey, Yuri. We barely walk into the building and you’re already giving us the keys to the castle?” I ask her a little cheekily.

“Oh? I think you mean your castle now,” Yuri replies, walking over to the door of the apartment. “And, since neither of you have gotten the chance to actually see it yet, I thought it would be fitting to let one of you open the door first before we can make this home truly complete. So…would either of you like to do the honors?” Yuri asks me and Sayori. I glance over to my older sister, but she shakes her head, gesturing to give me permission. Well, I guess it’s going to be me.

Okay, fuck it, let’s do this. Walking up to the front door…my front door…I turn the key in the lock and swing it open.

The living room on my right is already impressive enough: one big-ass couch that definitely has more than enough room for all of us to fit on, a couple of beanbag chairs in the corners, a fuzzy carpet, and a massive flat-screen TV. Damn. That’s going to be fun for movie nights. Sayori, who stepped past me pretty quickly, is already rushing over and looking at the TV in awe, complete with a bunch of “ooh”-ing and “ahh”-ing. But I’m quickly distracted as I turn around to see the other side of the apartment: the kitchen.

I audibly gasp as soon as I get a good look at it. The counters look like they’re made out of fucking Roman marble, the stove top is sleek and stainless, and the kitchen table in the middle of the room is one of those fancy high-rise ones with barstool chairs. It looks like some sort of snapshot out of a luxurious mansion, not the kitchen of an apartment supposedly owned by college kids. I walk around the kitchen in a bit of a daze, inspecting every corner of it that I can.

Yuri coughs a little behind me as she follows me into the kitchen. “I, erm, paid particular attention in the remodeling of this area to make sure every aspect would meet your standards,” she says to me with a bit of a nervous tilt to her voice. “In addition, if you look in the cupboards, you will see that I tried to purchase as many tools and ingredients I could think of that you regularly use…but I admit that the inventory is still somewhat incomplete.” I open some of the cupboards to see pots, cookie sheets, pans, measuring cups galore…holy hell, she’s really thought of everything. “I…I hope everything here is adequate?”

“Adequate??” I echo, whipping around to look over at her. “Jesus! Yuri, this is insane! I don’t think the kitchen back at our old place was even this nice! Let alone the dirty, old cooking club’s kitchen back at high school…this is like the goddamn Sistine Chapel or some shit compared to that! I mean…fuck me!” I mutter in awe, running a hand over the kitchen counter. It almost seems to sparkle at me with how clean it is.

Yuri breathes a sigh of relief as she follows me into the kitchen with a sly grin. “Well, if that is what your mind is preoccupied with currently…” she whispers quietly into my ear, “…perhaps you would be interested in seeing the bedroom?”

I let out a little “eep” as I look back to make sure Sayori and Monika didn’t catch that teasing comment. Turning back to Yuri with an embarrassed scowl, I elbow her arm. “That’s a loaded question and you know it,” I whisper back to her, causing Yuri to laugh. “But if you’d actually like an answer, then yes, I would like to see our room.”

Yuri grins, taking my hand and leading me over to the small hallway on the other side of the apartment. I follow her, but something along the way catches my eye. “Whoa, hold on…” I say, stopping and looking over at the wall next to the door. I look back at the wall and see…myself.

Well, not just myself. There’s me, Yuri, Sayori, and Monika – all four of us, in multiple framed pictures scattered across the wall. The one I first see is probably the largest one in the center – a picture of me and Sayori in our graduation robes with Monika and Yuri on either of our sides. Our graduation photo, taken only a few days ago.

“Ah, I see you’ve found the photo wall? That was my idea.” I turn around to see Monika walking up behind me, Sayori following closely behind. “Although Yuri contributed a lot to it, too! I wanted to make sure a little piece of all of us was going into this place, so I thought, why not represent that through pictures we’ve taken over the years?”

“Huh…” I look over the wall at all of the framed photographs – there has to be at least a dozen of them. There’s the one in the middle from graduation that’s by far the most recent. But then I see one of Sayori and Monika sitting together in the literature club room that must’ve been from well over two years ago; Monika still has her long ponytail and that white bow she always used to tie her hair up in. There’s a picture of Yuri and me that looks a little bit more recent, but not by much – Yuri’s shyly sitting down in the wheelchair as I’m sprawled out goofily on her lap. I can’t help but giggle at the photo because I remember when we took it. It was about a year ago, I think the day before Yuri was going to get the all-clear to get out of the wheelchair and transition to a walking stick. I realized that this was about the last chance I would have to get a picture like that, so I tried my best to capitalize on it with…amusing results, hehe. But some of these are even older. Like the one with—

“WHOA!” Sayori yells, making me jump as she points at one of the photos. “Where did you get THAT one???” Sayori points to an old picture of me and her when we were just kids, each of us giving toothy grins to the camera…despite the fact that we’re both missing a couple teeth. We both look like we’re ten in the photo, which probably isn’t too far off; old enough for me to have started dyeing my hair, but young enough for the two of us to still have been friends at the time.

“Oh, well, I may have seen that photo on your desk at the old place when I was helping you clean up your room a couple of weeks ago,” Monika says, admiring the picture. “And then Yuri and I may have scanned it, gotten another copy of it, laminated it, and framed it just so we could surprise you.”

“I didn’t even know you had a picture like this, Sayo,” I admit, looking a bit more closely at the picture. It had to have been almost a decade ago. Maybe exactly a decade. I look so young that I might as well have been a completely different person. Although I was a completely different person only two and-a-half years ago, too. “These are…old.”

“W-well, our idea is that hopefully we can add to this collection over time with photographs either of you may want to add,” Yuri starts to explain. “Eventually, this entire wall could be full of pictures of us, both old and new, in order to show us where we started…and where we are today.” As Yuri talks, I notice she isn’t really talking all that much to any of us…instead, her eyes are focused on one of the smaller, portrait-sized photos.

It takes me a second to recognize who it is…after all, the person in the photo has black hair, and I don’t really know any of us who has black hair. But that’s when I remember that Yuri’s natural hair color is black, and when I take a closer look, the resemblance is unmistakable. The photo is of a really young Yuri. Like, really young. She’s looking at the camera with a shy but serious expression…you know, that expression that she’ll pull even today that is so goddamn cute every time I look at it. But there’s also something in her eyes from back then that isn’t there today: fear. There are a few people clearly standing next to her in the photo, but they’ve been cut off and I can’t see their faces…although, if those people are who I think they are, that’s probably for the best.

I glance over to Yuri. She doesn’t talk a lot about her past life back with her parents, and this might be one of the first photos I’ve ever seen of her from that time in her life. Even though I never knew her during that time, it’s still so surreal to see how much she’s grown. I wonder if she looks at that photo of me when I was young with the same admiration I have when I’m looking at her photo now.

Yuri catches my eye as she looks away from the photo, turning back to all of us. “Both Monika and I certainly dug up quite a lot to include on this wall,” she continues. “But either of you are now welcome to include whatever photos you would like in the future. This is your wall now, too.”

Ugh. Great, now I feel all warm and bubbly inside. Okay, maybe, just maybe, Sayori’s right and I have gone soft. Dammit. Well, if this is who I am, then…might as well lean into it, right? I reach over and grab Yuri’s hand with my own. “This is perfect. Thanks, babe,” I say to her, before glancing over at Monika. “Oh, and thanks to you, too, for coming up with it and everything. I didn’t know I needed a photo wall until now, but it’s great.”

“Glad you appreciate it! Although I’m a little offended that I just get a ‘you’ while Yuri gets a full-on ‘babe,’” Monika teases lightheartedly, causing me to roll my eyes.

“Yeah, trust me, I think you get enough ‘babe’s without any help from me,” I say, nudging Sayori in the elbow as I walk back. Yuri, probably not wanting me and Monika to get into a banter battle that would probably last for at least an hour, tugs on my hand and tilts her head towards the bedroom. Oh, right, that’s what we were doing. “Excuse me, ladies,” I bow to Sayori and Monika, who giggle and snort almost in sync. I follow Yuri as she leads me over to the next room and…

Wow. Wow. Monika wasn’t lying. They did get queen-sized beds.

“YES!” I run into the room, immediately jumping onto the bed and bouncing up and down. The mattress doesn’t disappoint – it’s just as soft and comfy as I would’ve hoped. I can’t help but laugh as I bounce on it again.

“I was hoping you would appreciate this feature in particular,” Yuri says with a smile as she sits down next to me. “Nevermore will we have to worry about aches and pains in our limbs due to not being able to stretch out when we’re in bed.”

I raise my eyebrows and bring a hand to my mouth in shock with an overexaggerated gasp. “When we’re in bed?? My, my, Miss Yuri! Just what are you implying?” I ask her with some sort of made-up, gentlelady accent. “Could you possibly be trying to seduce me into sharing a bed with you?? How scandalous!”

I can see Yuri fighting hard to hold back a fit of giggles – she’s doing a better job than me, at least, as she sits upright and tilts her head down to me. “Oh? And where on earth did you get the idea that I am trying to proposition you? I think you simply need to work harder on getting such lewd notions out of your head,” she says to me, lightly flicking my arm. I can’t help but smirk at that.

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to do that for a while now. Hasn’t worked out too well, in case you haven’t noticed,” I respond to her, flopping down onto the bed. I grab onto her arm and pull her down with me. Yuri turns her head slightly to smile at me as we both lie on our backs.

“So…is everything to your liking?” she asks, seemingly a lot less nervous than before I walked in.

“Yuri,” I stop her. “I love it. Really. It’s the most I could hope for, and then some. It’s, like, unreal how much thought you put into this place,” I say, looking over at Yuri as she breathes a sigh of relief. “But I need to ask. Are you sure that we’re still in the green with all of this? I mean, that kitchen alone looked really expensive…”

“Yes, there is no need to worry,” Yuri says quickly, silencing my concerns. “We were actually able to afford quite a lot of this out of my own savings, not to mention the very generous and flexible loan provided to us by Mr. and Mrs. Amano. We will be staying afloat, and then some. I promise.”

I hum. “Okay…I believe you,” I say, sighing as I turn on my side so I’m facing her on the bed. “Then I’m okay with everything. There’s just so much here alone that you’ve done for me…I still wish there was some way I could pay you back.”

It’s a concern I’ve brought up before when Yuri and Monika first started talking about renting and moving into the apartment, but Yuri’s always brushed it away pretty quickly: it’s not just for me, it’s for us, which, yeah, I get it. It’s a pretty fair point. But especially after the grand tour of everything, it definitely feels like I’m the one being treated. Yuri purses her lips as she sits up.

“Well…if that is how you feel, then there are a couple of matters I can think of off the top of my head,” Yuri says pensively. She looks around the rest of the bedroom. “As you can see, this bedroom is still somewhat barren…this is true for many places around the apartment as well. I was thinking you could help direct how we should style and decorate the rooms?”

I sit up on the bed, looking around the room. She’s right. There’s barely any wallpaper, posters, or really anything at all in the rest of the room, outside of a clothes cabinet, a bedside counter, and a bathroom. Yeah, there’s definitely some improvements I could make. I’m a little surprised that Yuri’s the one asking me, since she’s always been better at style and stuff with her scented candles and everything…although maybe I can just try to cater to her tastes. Fine, I’ll take it. There’s probably plenty I can do.

“Okay, sure. What else?” I ask her. Yuri purses her lips.

“Well, this might not be much of a request, but I really have missed your cooking recently, and it would be quite the shame to see that kitchen go to waste…” Yuri starts to say thoughtfully, and I roll my eyes.

“Oh, you’re asking me to do the hobby that I literally do for fun? Like, the thing that helps me get relaxed?” I ask her, crossing my arms. “You’re right, that’s not a request. It’s something I was planning on doing anyway!”

“That doesn’t make my request any less valid!” Yuri insists, sliding next to me. “You did ask for things you could do to ‘pay me back,’ and if you truly insist on that, then, with Monika and I planning to work most days this summer, I for one would find it immensely helpful to come home to freshly-made meals, made only by the best culinary artist in the entire prefecture…”

I swat at Yuri gently to shut her up. “Alright, alright! You’ve made your point,” I harrumph. “Request accepted. You want good cooking, then 'Chef Extraordinaire' Ozaki will provide. I’ll never say no to someone who can recognize good taste.”

Yuri laughs quietly. “Well, I certainly do have that…” she says, sighing as she reaches an arm around my shoulder. Ooh, is it cuddle time? Sayori and Monika haven’t bothered us since we went into our room, so I think it’s fair to say that they’re busy…which means yes, it is cuddle time. Grinning, I nuzzle into Yuri’s side as we both fall back onto the bed. Moments like these have been a bit too few and far between recently, what with Yuri being away at college and me trying to focus on graduating…but now that the dust has settled on all that, and we can actually live together again, I can’t help but feel a weight off my shoulders now that I know that we can go back to normal. I get to live with Yuri again. Yuri gets to live with me. It’s all so…domestic.

Which gets me thinking back to my suspicions from earlier. And that crazy, crazy theory I’ve got stuck in my head. Because while all of this has been nice, I can’t shake the feeling that Yuri’s still holding out on me about something…

“Hey, Yuri?” I ask her, interrupting the quiet, comfortable moment between us. Yuri tilts her head down to look at me.

“Yes?”

“Are you…hiding something from me?” I ask her. Yuri immediately stiffens up and her eyes widen. I can’t help but smirk at that. Hehe, busted!

“I-I…ah…perhaps…” Yuri struggles to admit, avoiding eye contact with me. “W-well…I wanted to ask you a question.” My eyebrows shoot way up my forehead at that. Holy shit. Ho. Lee. Shit. Holy shit, holy shit, is this actually happening, is she actually gonna – “I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the beach?”

I startle a little bit as the actual question comes out, and my eyebrows lower back down into a furrow as I look at her. “Huh? The…beach?” I ask, just to confirm I heard her right.

Yuri nods. “Y-yes. I was wondering if, after you have settled in for a few days, you wanted to go to the beach. It would likely be a full-day excursion due to the distance, but I know that you have never been to one, so I would like to take you there…to the beach,” she says. Well, she’s right, I haven’t. I don’t even know where the nearest beach would be from here…at least a few hours away, if not longer. But Yuri isn’t saying she wants to just go to a beach. It’s like she has a specific one in mind…and that’s when I pull back an old memory from our very first week together.

“Hold on. You mean your beach??” I ask a second time. “Like, the beach you went to when you were a kid?”

“Correct. The one just outside of my hometown, where my former family used to own a beach house,” she elaborates. “As you know, I cannot say I have many fond memories of my childhood…but the fondest ones I do possess come from that beach. It was a rare sense of peace and comfort that I shared with my old family…and so I decided that I would very much like to share that place and that same feeling now with my new family. I-if it is convenient.”

Okay, that’s actually so incredibly, adorably sweet. To the point where her words are making me grin and blush like an idiot. Okay, so, scratch the maybe: Sayori is right. I’m a goddamn mushy, lovey-dovey SOFTIE now, all thanks to moments like this.

Reaching over to grab one of her hands, I bring it to my lips and kiss it. “I’d love that, Yuri. Let’s do it,” I say. But while I genuinely do love the idea, I can’t help but feel like there’s something else to this. “But…was the thing you were hiding from me really that you just wanted to go to the beach?”

Yuri pauses before responding. “Ah…would there be anything wrong with that, if it were true?” she asks. I’m quick to pick up on the fact that she’s not answering the question. Which is an easy way to tell me no, that’s not what she’s hiding, and no, she’s not going to tell me. So, it’s something that she doesn’t want to tell me about yet, but the fact that she decided to pivot to talking about going to the beach makes me think that it’s at least related…which only make me further consider that theory.

But if I’m right, then it’s probably best I drop it. After all, this moment right here, where I’m lying down next to her, is pretty damn nice and I don’t want to ruin it.

“Nah,” I say, settling a little more comfortably into her arms. “But it’s on you to pick out a swimsuit for me, ‘cuz I got nothing.” It’s true. I think I can count the number of times I’ve been in a pool in my entire life on one hand, so it’s not like I own anything for the beach.

Yuri grins at me with a mixture of relief (probably because I’ve let the topic go) and playfulness as she squeezes me. “I would be more than happy to help…so long as you don’t mind modeling in some different swimwear for me,” she purrs into my ear. Ugh, and I thought my flirting was obnoxious!! I can’t help but blush even more at that…mainly because hearing her imagining me in a swimsuit has got me imagining her in one, too, and…well, need I say more?

 I let out a dramatic sigh to stop myself from stuttering something stupid back in response. “Hmph! I’ll do what I must,” I mutter as I twirl Yuri’s hair between my fingers. I’ll bring my stuff in here and start unpacking…in a minute. For now, though, I’m busy thinking about the beach. And everything that might happen there…

You know, for an already pretty damn amazing week, I think things are going to get even more amazing pretty soon.

Two things wake me up from the very pleasant nap I’m having. The first is a bump in the road that makes the car lurch forward. That makes me groan awake a little bit, but I’m still pretty groggy and I’d much prefer to stay asleep. After all, the fingers running through my hair are begging me to stay, and the pillow I’ve chosen for this drive is very…warm…

But the second thing that wakes me up, the shutter of a phone camera going off, immediately gets my attention. I open my eyes…only to see Sayori looking back at us from the front seat taking a picture of me falling asleep on Yuri’s thighs.

“HEY!” I yell, sitting up immediately. Sayori only giggles and tries to hide the phone.

“Well, well, looks like someone’s finally awake,” Monika says from the front seat. I can practically hear the annoying smirk on her face. “Have a nice nap, princess?”

“Shut up,” I grumble, pulling out my own phone to look at my reflection. God, I really hope I wasn’t drooling or anything in that picture…

You can’t exactly blame me for wanting to take a nap, though. We’ve been in the car for over five hours at this point, and we had to get up really early in the morning to leave. Not to mention the fact that, during the first few hours, Sayori was blasting pop songs and trying to rope us all into doing karaoke, so yeah, you could say I earned that nap.

“AWWW! SO cute!” Sayori squeals as she looks at phone. She turns her head back at me to flash the photo at me – oh God, it’s embarrassing. I’m practically nuzzling into Yuri’s thighs. My only saving grace is that there’s no drool, which isn’t saying much. “You sure look cozy!”

“Oh? Can I see?” Monika asks, glancing over as Sayori shows the picture to her girlfriend. She barks out a laugh. “Well, I think we might have just found the next picture to put up on the wall!”

I groan, leaning into Yuri’s shoulder. “Yuri, help! They’re bullying me!” I whine, hoping that she can provide me with some much-needed backup. I can’t take on both of these clowns at the same time all alone, after all!

Yuri lets out a laugh that sounds…nervous? Not to mention distracted. Now that I notice it, her shoulder also feels fairly stiff and tense. Frowning, I sit back up to look at her and see her lost in thought, her brain probably moving at a million miles a minute. Wherever her head is at right now, it’s certainly not here.

The car stops at a red light and Monika turns around to look at us. “Well, you can come defend her honor later, but I think we’re almost there. Yuri, this look familiar to you?” she asks her. Yuri blinks a few times and looks at Monika.

“Ah…y-yes,” Yuri responds, pointing forward. “Just follow this road for another ten minutes or so and you should reach a parking lot. The beach will be there.”

Ten minutes?? I didn’t realize we were so close…but when I take an actual look out the window, I see a bunch of residential houses that tell me we’re definitely off the highway. If this is close to where Yuri used to live, the place she was forced to run away from when she came out to her parents…then yeah, maybe I can understand why Yuri’s so nervous. As the light turns green and Monika drives forward, I reach out to grab Yuri’s hand protectively.

I hear the beach before I see it. The sound of waves moving in and out along the shore. This is the furthest I’ve ever been from home by far – I’ve barely been outside of the city, let alone gone all the way to the coast. So to see bits of sand on the road as we drive by, to smell the salt in the air even though I’m not even out of the car yet, and to hear those waves in the distance are all new experiences for me.

But nothing prepares me for that big sheet of blue water when we actually get there. Immediately as I see the ocean above the horizon when Monika reaches the parking lot, I can feel the view literally (well, figuratively, but you get the point) take my breath away. I’d never seen anything like it. All of that water, reaching out as far as the eye can see, gently touching the sand…yeah, to say that movies and anime didn’t do this justice would be an understatement. It’s beautiful.

Yuri fidgets next to me as she stares out the window. I still think her mind is on something else.

“And we’re here!” Monika says, parking the car as she opens her door.

“Woo! Finally!” Sayori whoops as she follows Monika out of the car. “Let’s get this party started!”

“Yeah…” I say, looking over at a not-very-excited Yuri who’s clearly got a lot on her mind and freaking the fuck out right now. I turn back over to Sayori and Monika. “Hey, why don’t you two go grab the umbrella and towels and set up a base of operations somewhere out there? We’ll come follow you in a little bit.” The couple share a quick look that doesn’t go unnoticed by me, but otherwise oblige and close their doors, grabbing some of our belongings from the trunk of the car and heading out to the beach.

Once they’re out of earshot, I turn back to Yuri. She’s practically bouncing with all of the nervous energy pent up inside her. I grab her other hand to stop her from fidgeting and she calms down just a little bit. “Okay, what’s up?” I ask her. Yuri lets out a sigh.

“Erm…w-well…it has been nearly half a decade since I have last visited this place,” she starts to say. “My old home…it is not even thirty minutes away from here. This is a small town, and most people who live here know each other.” She shudders. “I can’t help but fear the possibility that someone might recognize me…or worse…”

Or worse, if we run into her folks. Yuri doesn’t say it out loud, but she doesn’t have to for me to mentally finish the sentence for her. I should have seen this coming. Of course she’d be nervous about this – who wouldn’t be?

“I-I’m sorry…I wasn’t expecting it to be this troublesome…b-but now that I’m here, I just…” Yuri trails off in a small voice. I frown at her.

“Hey, stop it. Don’t say stuff like that,” I say sharply, almost considering letting go of one of her hands so I can slap her. I think it’s better if I don’t, though. “I get it. I’d probably be freaking the fuck out if I were you, too. But look out there.” I turn my head to look out the window towards the beach again. There’s barely anyone out there – I can see Sayori and Monika setting up the umbrella and beach towels, and maybe one or two other people walking out by the water, but outside of that…no one. “It doesn’t seem like there’s really many other people here in the first place to recognize you.”

Yuri follows my gaze and slowly nods. “Yes, that is not surprising…this beach is not exactly a crowded destination. That’s why it always appealed to me so much,” she says. “This place is a beauty that remains largely untouched save for a handful of visitors.”

“And even if someone does recognize you…” I continue, turning back to her with a mischievous smile. “We’ll protect you. If anyone even looks at you the wrong way, you better believe I’ll kick their ass. Monika and Sayori will help, too!”

Yuri lets out a huff of amusement as some of the tension in her body fades. “While I certainly appreciate the sentiment, please don’t literally do that,” she says. I snort.

“Well, only because you asked nicely,” I say with a wink. “Instead, though, I’ll give you the fiercest make-out session you’ve ever witnessed, and that’ll scare the ever-loving shit out of any ignorant bumpkin who’s afraid of turning gay just by being near us.” That makes Yuri laugh more fully now. Hehe, I knew remembering to use ‘bumpkin’ in a sentence would pay off.

“I would much prefer that scenario,” Yuri mutters. The more I think about it, the more I can’t help but agree. Yuri’s gaze moves away from the window of the car and back to me. “Thank you, Natsuki…that genuinely helps assuage most of my worries for today.”

“Oh? Just most? What else are you worried about?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. Aaaaand there’s that nervous tension again. Yuri looks down at our hands to avoid eye contact, but this time…she’s blushing. And I’m just now noticing how sweaty her palms are getting and…

Oh. OH. I get it now.

This is about as much confirmation as I need, and as soon as that puzzle piece clicks in my mind, I can’t stop myself from giggling uncontrollably. Yuri looks at me, startled. “N-natsuki?” I stop laughing to get a good look at her face. BOY, does she look flustered! I let out another giggle.

“Is it…are you…did you really think…” I try to start a coherent sentence, but my giddy brain doesn’t even know what a sentence is supposed to mean right now. Okay, okay, deep breath, Nat. I need to come up with something to actually say right now. Woo! I take that deep breath and calm myself down a little bit, but there’s still this big-ass smile that’s stretching my face and won’t come off. You know what? That’s okay right now. “Yuri Nakamura. You beautiful, beautiful woman. You absolute angel. You wonderful, amazing, dumb human being.”

Yuri’s blush before was nothing – her face now is a dark scarlet. “P-p-pardon?” she stutters out. I sigh adoringly, practically forcing her to look at me with those deep, dark, hazel eyes.

“I already figured out what you’re planning. You don’t need to worry about anything.” I say slowly. Yuri looks at me confused for a moment, and if I were wrong about this, that confusion probably would’ve lasted a lot longer. But it doesn’t, because I’m not. Yuri’s confusion gradually morphs into one of realization as she figures out what I’m implying. She gasps. “HA! Nailed it!”

“Y-you knew?!” Yuri squeaks out. I’m not sure whether it would be more accurate to describe her as relieved or mortified that I’ve found it out. “How???”

“Um, because I’m able to tell when you’re hiding something? And because I’m able to connect a few dots? And because we’ve literally talked about this before, like, a dozen times, about how we wanted to do this at some point?” Yuri’s face is pretty damn red at this point in embarrassment, and I know her instinct is to look away from me right now. Nope, can’t have that. I let go of her hands just to cup her cheek and force her to look at me. “In short, I know you too well. Just like how you know me too well. And I really…really hope that you know me well enough at this point that you’ll know what my answer is going to be.”

All Yuri does is blink at me like a cornered goldfish for a few beats. For a second I’m a little worried that I’ve overwhelmed her a bit too much – or worse, that I was somehow wrong and misinterpreted her – but then her blinking becomes a little more rapid, and I realize she’s holding back tears. “Hey, come on…save the tears,” I say, moving my hand to brush a few strands of hair out of her face. “I have a feeling we’re both going to be needing them later.”

Yuri lets out a watery laugh. “God damn it,” she mutters, sighing as she smiles at me shyly. “Of course you would have figured it out. I-I wanted it to be the type of surprise one would find in romantic comedies or certain manga, but…I suppose it’s more typical of us to go a less traditional route.”

“Hell yeah!” I lean forward to kiss her on the cheek. That doesn’t seem to be enough for Yuri, though. Quickly, she moves my head so that my lips crash with hers, and suddenly, we’re kissing. It doesn’t last long, I think…but it has this intensity to it that both helps calm me down and makes me more energized than ever. It’s hard to describe…but then again, all of my emotions around Yuri have been hard to describe since the day I met her. As she pulls away, I can tell she’s still nervous… but the negative energy from before seems to be gone. Instead, she seems to be more of the good kind of nervous. She’s excited. Good, because I am, too. “So…think you’re all good now?” I ask her. Yuri nods.

“Yes…you always have had a remarkable talent for soothing my fears. ‘The walls in my mind melt away, beneath your sunny glow’…” Yuri starts to say, pausing as she notices my confused expression. She only smiles sweetly at me. “It’s paraphrased from your poem, love. Remember? When you offered to be my beach?”

“Oh. Oh! Right, heh,” I chuckle bashfully, surprised to see she actually remembers it. Although I guess I shouldn’t be – she’s still kept that first poem after all this time. I even saw it tucked away on top of her journal as I was moving my stuff in a few days ago. “I guess it’s appropriate that you brought me here, then. Your new beach finally gets to meet the old one.”

“Indeed. Speaking of that…” Yuri pulls away, opening her side of the car and stepping out, holding the door for me. “I think it is time I actually introduce you. Shall we?”

I grin. About time. My mind still buzzing slightly from excitement, I scoot over and exit the car. Yuri offers me her arm…something I’ve gotten in the habit of doing for a while. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that she was needing a cane to walk while her leg was still healing, and I helped her walk around a lot while she was still getting used to that. But you know what? Today, I’m pretty comfortable with letting her take the lead.

Carrying her beach bag on her shoulder away from me (and I can only IMAGINE what’s inside there now, HMMM), we walk onto the beach. We slip off our sandals, and I get to feel the warm sand beneath my feet for the first time. I’ve gotta say, something about it is a lot better than just your plain old dirt. Speaking of sand, though…I see that our friends are already hard at work with their mischief. By the umbrella, Monika’s lying down on her back with her entire body up to her neck buried, while Sayori’s busy making a sandcastle on her girlfriend’s belly. And I’m not surprised in the slightest.

At first I thought that we were walking over towards them, but as Yuri moves in the opposite direction it’s clear she has something else in mind. “Ah…I was thinking I could show you around one of the more scenic areas of the beach before we meet up with them…if that’s alright with you,” Yuri suggests. I look back at both Monika and Sayori to see both of them waving at me…almost as if they’re waving me away. Sayori even gives me a thumbs-up. Oh, okay, so they’re in on this too, because of course they are.

“Why, certainly,” I reply, squeezing onto her arm a bit tighter. Yuri leads me along the beach, moving down to where the water meets the sand. For the first time in my life, I touch the ocean. The water’s cold at first and I have to jump back, but Yuri patiently guides me back to meet it. The second time my feet hit the water and I’m able to stay still for a few seconds, it’s actually pretty soothing. Yuri doesn’t even flinch as the water washes against her feet – she even lets out a contented sigh.

We walk a little further along the beach, and while this place is pretty damn scenic with the yellow sand and the glittering water and everything, I can barely tear my eyes away from Yuri. She looks so relaxed, so at peace. It’s quite the change from even a few minutes ago. Did she really just need to go out for a walk on the beach? Or…was it me that helped calm her down? Maybe it’s a little both.

We’re walking pretty lazily along the beach, with me letting Yuri set the pace. But eventually, she stops, pausing to look not out at the water but back out to land. There’s a string of beach houses right above the hill, and I can’t help but notice her jaw tightening as she looks pointedly at one particular house. “Yuri?” I ask, getting her attention.

She lets out a sigh as she points out to the house. “That is the beach house my parents used to own, right there,” Yuri says. Oh, shit. I walk a few steps forward to try to get a better look at it. It’s pretty nice, I guess. Not super extravagant like I might have expected when I heard the term ‘beach house,’ but hey, it’s nice. I don’t see any lights in the windows on, so it doesn’t look like anyone’s home. Which is good, because if anyone was home then I might have a few choice words to yell at them from here.

“Hmm. Well, the beach access is nice, I guess,” I admit, giving her a crooked smile to try to diffuse some of the tension I feel bubbling up. “Call me biased, though, because I think I prefer our place.”

Yuri smiles back, turning away from the beach house and looking back down at me. “I would agree. The house itself was nothing special,” she says. Slowly, she sits down on the sand, placing her beach bag next to her. I take the cue and sit down next to her, glancing back at the house before turning back to her.

“You said ‘used to’…they don’t own it anymore?” I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me. Yuri purses her lips.

“I’m…not sure. It is not as if I’ve ever talked with them after we parted ways to find out,” she says, running sand through her fingers. “The last time I ever communicated with them…it was in the orphanage. I sent them a letter out of desperation, letting them know that I was, at the very least, safe. I hoped that they would take the strong hints I was providing in the letter and visit me, if not allow me to return home.” Yuri shakes her head, letting out a humorless chuckle. “Instead, they sent me back an envelope with papers providing proof that they had terminated their parental rights towards me. No other note was attached. And…that was the last time that we talked.”

I grit my teeth in anger. Yuri had told me a few stories about her childhood and her asshole, stuck-up, uber-religious parents, but…fuck, I never knew THAT. I look back at the beach house. “Okay, so, would you give it a greater than fifty-fifty chance that your folks still own that place? ‘Cuz if so, I’d be really tempted to do some major property damage right about now,” I growl. Yuri seems to appreciate that as she looks out at the waves, chuckling with a bit more humor now. “Bitch, you think I’m joking?”

“I know you’re not. That’s what makes it funnier,” Yuri laughs again. I roll my eyes, but I can’t hide the smirk on my face. There’s an easy silence between us again as I scoot a little closer to her to rest my head on her shoulder, watching the waves roll by. I think I’m beginning to get what Yuri means about the beach…how it’s the place that makes her feel safe and protected. Not that the beach specifically really makes me feel that way…it’s Yuri that has that effect on me.

It’s Yuri who breaks the silence between us. “I am glad, ultimately, that they didn’t take me back in,” she says. “I am even thankful that they abandoned me and forced me to fend for myself, in retrospect. Of course, that period was difficult, but…I cannot even begin to fathom what course my life would be on if I had stayed here. I would have remained closeted about my sexuality, I would have never met you…so many things would be different.”

I frown. “I mean…I guess I get where you’re coming from. But that doesn’t make what they did to you right,” I say, wrapping a hand around her arm. “I probably wouldn’t be here, sitting on this beach with you, if it weren’t for everything that happened. That doesn’t mean I’m thankful that it took me having to go to a hospital just for me to properly meet you…even if the end result is pretty rad.”

“No, no, you’re right…” Yuri says, looking out at the sea. “I suppose that is all in the past now, and for that I am perhaps most thankful. For it leaves us with the ability to look forward to our future…and the rest of our lives.” My arm clenches on to hers a little tighter as I expect her to reach into her bag and pull a little certain something out…but she makes no moves to. Instead, she keeps on talking. “Tell me, Natsuki…how do you imagine that? What your life will look like in, say, five years?”

I can’t help but smirk to myself. She must really enjoy dragging this out. But, hey, it’s a relevant question, so I’ll entertain it. “In five years…hmm…” I think to myself. I can feel Yuri’s eyes on me – she’s told me before that apparently my thinking face is cute. Hey, if she enjoys the show, then who am I to argue? I am thinking pretty hard, anyway, because it’s a difficult question. “If you’d asked me when I was young, I would’ve said I wanted to be a baker. Have my own bakery, sell pastries, that sort of thing. It would seem appropriate, right? But…”

I pause again. “Now…I think I want to be a social worker,” I answer, tilting my head up to look at Yuri. Her eyebrows raise up in surprise. But she doesn’t say anything to give me the chance to explain myself. “Particularly with child welfare. I want to advocate for kids who were in our position, where the system failed them. I want to help them before it’s too late…like it almost was with me. If I can make a difference in the life of even one kid who thinks it’s hopeless, or who thinks they’re a lost cause, then…” I trail off, surprising even myself by how passionate I’m getting. I take a deep breath. “So, yeah. I’ve done a little research, and I’m not sure if I’ll actually be able to get that sort of job in five years but…at the very least I’ll be on my way to getting my license. I…think that’s what I’d like.”

Yuri’s still got this shocked expression on her face, and I frown. “What? Is it really that surprising?” I ask. Slowly, she shakes her head.

“N-no! Not at all. In fact, I think it’s remarkably fitting. I’m just surprised that…” Yuri starts to say, but she stops herself with a disbelieving laugh. “After all of this time…after knowing you for two years, you are so amazing that you still somehow manage take my breath away and render me speechless in the most indescribable of ways.”

Okay, my GOD, Yuri, now I’M the blushing mess. “G-geez, babe…w-what’s that supposed to mean? I was only answering the question…” I mutter.

“It’s your compassion, kitten. It’s always there, but it shines through particularly strongly during the most unexpected moments,” Yuri says, and I only feel my face heating up just that much more. Letting go of her, I cross my arms.

“I wasn’t even done, you know. Very rude of you to interrupt me,” I complain, pouting slightly as Yuri grins. She gestures for me to continue. “Well…in five years, I’d also like to help you with your library. Assuming that’s what you’re still planning on doing.” I know that’s one of Yuri’s dreams – to run her very own library. Cataloguing her own list of books. Helping people embark on a new literary adventure. Some nights while she was at college we would stay up late on the phone and I would just listen to her ramble enthusiastically about what her library would be like for hours. Those were some of the best conversations I think I’ve ever had with her. “I could incorporate my baking somewhere into that. After all, you’ve gotta attract readers somehow, and in my opinion there’s no better way to do that than to lure them with baked sweets!”

“I can’t help but agree…I think your sister is living proof of that,” Yuri says with a fond smile. “And, of course, I would also need your help in establishing a manga section of the library, as I’m afraid you would school me any day in that department.”

“Yes. Obviously,” I agree. “So…I hope that answers your question. In five years, I want my life…to feel like it has a purpose. And to know that I’m supporting the people I love.”

Yuri looks me in the eyes, and I can see the waterworks beginning to start in hers. “I…couldn’t have put it better myself,” she says, reaching over to cup my cheek with one of her hands. Closing her eyes, she inhales and then exhales deeply. “Alright…p-please be patient with me right now…this might take me a few minutes.”

When she opens her eyes again, I see them practically sparkling. Oh, shit. It’s happening. It’s happening!! I try to contain my swelling heart as I smile patiently up at her. “T-take your time,” I whisper quietly. Yuri nods, pulling away from me slightly. She takes another deep breath before continuing.

“Natsuki Ozaki,” she starts to say. My heart begins to thump in myself just that much harder by the use of my full name. “From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special. I couldn’t place it into words then, and it took me quite some time to realize why you were special. It’s hard for me to vocalize even now…but, that’s why I wanted to take you here.” Yuri moves one of her hands through the sand beneath us. “This place…it wasn’t just that it helped me relax. It made me feel safe. While everyone else in my life during that period of my life judged me and ridiculed me for every minor character trait I had that deviated from the norm…this beach was my sanctuary. The sand, the ocean, the seashells, not even the jellyfish would judge me here. I thought I would miss it…but coming back here after all this time, I realize that I don’t miss it at all. It’s because you give me that same feeling.

“Even on our worst days…you give me that same feeling of safety from my youth. You don’t judge me…instead, you embrace me, and accept me, and…and love me. You are my beach, Natsuki…but you are also so, so much more.” Yuri’s voice cracks a little bit, and now I’m feeling myself having to blink more to keep my own tears at bay. “You…there’s only so much I can say that hasn’t already been said between us regarding what you mean to me. You build me up and challenge me to be the best version of myself that I possibly can be. You teach me to trust myself and have confidence in myself to do things I never would have thought possible before I met you. You protect me by raising me up to become something I never would have thought possible before now. If…if I give you even a fraction of that same feeling that I have described, then I will consider that a personal victory.”

I have to close my eyes for a second and steady my breathing, because I can’t start crying now. I nod and have to hold myself from saying that it’s a hell of a lot more than just a fraction. It’d be rude of me to interrupt her now. I open my eyes again to see one of Yuri’s hands slipping into the beach bag, but all of her attention is still on me.

“The truth is, I don’t know what the future will hold for us…” Yuri says. “I only know that I want it to be ours. Whatever will come, I want to face it together. And…w-well, I know we are young by conventional standards. But after everything we have gone through, both through heaven and through hell, and after almost losing you, I-I…I don’t think I can afford a single extra moment without asking you this question.” Slowly, she pulls something small out of the beach bag, and as fucking obnoxiously cliché as it is, I can’t help but put a hand to my mouth to hide my gasp as I see the square, velvety little box. “Natsuki Ozaki. You are the love of my life. You know me better than anyone else, and I…I want to share our connection with the world. That, and more, is why I want you to be my life partner…”

Yuri holds the box out and, with shaky hands, opens up the top to reveal a small ring in front of me. “Natsuki…will you marry me?”

As I feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes, I stare at the ring in disbelief, even though I knew this was coming. It’s not like we hadn’t talked about marriage before today, and we were even just talking about how I was able to figure out that she was going to propose now, but…while I was excited before, I feel all of the emotions wash over me now as I actually stare down at the small, tiny piece of jewelry that means so goddamn much.

It’s a diamond that catches the eye – how the hell she was able to afford this I don’t even know, but right now I’m paying attention to other things. Like, the color of the diamond: it’s mostly clear, but there’s a pink tint that’s so faint but still present enough that I know it was intentional. Immediately, I can’t help but think back to when I had pink hair. When I was fighting for myself, fighting day by day to survive under my father’s wrath while also tricking myself into complacency. Getting a new home with Monika, Sayori, and Yuri, and learning to trust people again. Having my heart broken when I found out the truth about Yuri’s involvement in my life, and then…everything that happened after that.

Sometimes, I can’t help but feel like it was fate for us to meet like this. Whenever me and Yuri like to get reminiscent, we sometimes like to talk about just how much of our lives are based on freaky coincidences: Yuri wandering from this place to our bustling city five hours away and moving into a foster home with my childhood best friend; Yuri following me home on the exact day I’m nearly beaten to death, allowing her to save my life; we happened to find each other at a point in our lives where we had just accepted our sexualities; and probably even a million more that I can’t even think of right now. Yuri grew up in a religious family, so she leans more heavily on the predestination stuff than I do. But even I have to admit that our lives leading up to the time we met seem very fate-y…to a point. Because while the stars might’ve aligned in some places, it sure as hell seemed like fate was working against us too, multiple times. Maybe God or life or whatever just threw all of this shit at the wall and then just told us to figure it all out and left.

Or maybe none of that’s true and I’m just trying to find meaning in something that doesn’t have any meaning. I dunno, I’m not really good at being philosophical. I just know that the both of us worked hard…really hard, to get to this point. The point that feels like an ending for one chapter of our lives, and the beginning of something new. In this new chapter, we’re free from our pasts, and now we get to plan out what we want to do for the rest of our lives. And that’s all that this small, shiny, scary, exciting, sad, beautiful, miraculous, amazing pink ring symbolizes.

I don’t know what the future holds either, Yuri, I want to say to her. But if the universe decides to try to screw us over again, then with you by my side, I like our odds. I’m ready to take on the world. Bring it on, because if you think anything’s going to get in the way of Natsuki and Yuri, then you don’t know who the fuck you’re messing with!

Of course, I’ll say all of that in a minute. Right now, though, there’s something a bit more urgent that I need to say to her first.

Slowly, I hold my hand out to let Yuri put the ring on my finger.

“Yes.”