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Kim Hyojin and Lee Seungjoon have been friends for eleven years now. It’s a fact that Seungjoon hears at least once a day. Eleven years of seeing Kim Hyojin almost daily seems surreal. Has it really been that long? If somebody told him eleven years ago that their friendship will last this long he would have laughed for days.
Back in their middle school days when they first met Seungjoon had to chase after the older for months, sometimes quite literally as Hyojin wasn’t really that fond of him in the beginning. Hyojin was the popular kid, the school’s pride, always participating and winning singing contests all over the country, while Seungjoon must admit he was a pretty plain kid, spending his days running away from his mom to meet with his friends, playing stupid games and, as Hyojin keeps reminding him every single time, being extremely loud.
However, looking back now he can clearly see that he had a much happier childhood than Hyojin. While everyone knew Hyojin, he didn’t really have friends. Being always busy with competitions or singing classes he didn’t attend their normal classes regularly. He was also a bit awkward and shy and he had shown it in the wrong way. Most of his classmates were either too intimidated by him or considered him arrogant so the few hours he was in school were spent sitting by himself or bussing himself with his music notes.
“It was a little hard.” Hyojin once told him, when they were older and with a little too much alcohol in their veins.
“I was supposed to keep my grades up but I could barely go to classes. My parents were expecting me to excel in both school and music and I couldn’t let them down. The teachers were either ignoring me or putting even more pressure on me and I know very well what our classmates thought of me. Silence can be louder than any words sometimes, you know?” he had stopped to open another beer, maybe to swallow the lump in his throat.
“That’s why I’m so grateful to you. Yeah, you were annoying and loud and damn I wanted stuff something in your mouth half of the time, but you were the only person who really talked to me back then.”
Hyojin had been too drunk that night so it was no surprise that he didn’t remember a thing the next day, but to Seungjoon that is one of his most treasured memories. The reassurance that he didn’t make a mistake by following Hyojin around in middle school. His friends didn’t understand why Seungjoon insisted so much on being friends with Hyojin when even the older boy didn’t want it. But Seungjoon brushed them off again and again until they all left him alone. His parents have been worried as he suddenly stopped going out and started taking an interest in music and dance. Even for him it was a drastic change. His entire life had turned around and started spinning around one person. A lot of people told him it’s not exactly healthy but maybe he was a little too awestruck with Kim Hyojin to care.
The day he decided he was going to be Hyojin’s friend he was on his way to meet his friends in the park. He had seen the older boy kneeling in front of a crying child and curiosity made him stop to see what was happening. From what Seungjoon had overheard the kid was abandoned by his friends and didn’t know how to get back home. Seungjoon had stayed hidden behind a large tree, watching how Hyojin had softly calmed down the younger kid, making bad jokes and stupid faces to make him laugh, and in the end escorting him home. He was so surprised that the boy everyone told him was cold and arrogant could be this caring towards somebody he didn’t know. The next day he started pestering Hyojin until he gave up and accepted Seungjoon in his life.
That was the starting point of their friendship, Seungjoon even remembers the date and hour. What he can’t pinpoint as accurately is when his feelings for the older boy developed into something more than friendship. Maybe it was something more right from the start, after all that kind of infatuation was a little too much for a friendship.
What he knows is that sometimes towards the ends of high school while watching Hyojin almost laugh his lungs out at the worst joke ever, he suddenly thought ‘ah, I’m in love with this idiot’ and that was it. No fireworks, no dramatic effects, just a passing thought and their life went on just as before. Just that Seungjoon now understood why his breath seemed to get stuck in his throat every time Hyojin’s smiles were sparkling in his eyes or why he could listen to his best friend sing the same line for hours on end without getting tired. Lee Seungjoon was in love with Kim Hyojin, it was as simple as that.
Seungjoon was aware that nothing will change, that he will be forever Hyojin’s best friend and he was content with it. He wanted nothing more. But why is it getting harder lately?
College has rolled around and they both applied and entered the same arts academy. Hyojin to continue his vocal training and Seungjoon majoring in modern dance. And suddenly they stopped spending every day together. Even if they shared a flat their schedule often kept them from meeting for days.
And then Hyojin seemed to realise he wanted a relationship and started going out on dates. Seungjoon grimly recalls the day Hyojin had proudly announced him that he may get a boyfriend soon. He could only laugh emptily as he listened to the older talk about this boy he met in his singing theory class and how he is a little older and so sweet and how everybody is a little smitten with him. Fortunately, the other was too busy daydreaming about how his date with this Donghun will go to notice the distraught behind Seungjoon’s smiles.
Donghun was nice and treated Hyojin well. Seungjoon had met him a few times and he really couldn’t find anything that he didn’t like at him. They relationship lasted for almost 3 months, 3 long months of listening to Hyojin’s excited stories about his loving boyfriend, before as sudden as a summer rain it ended. For the next two weeks Seungjoon had to constantly comfort a heart broken Hyojin. Donghun had told him they wouldn’t work out as more than friends. Strangely he was right. Even if at first Hyojin was a little passive aggressive, and Seungjoon even more so, they ended up as good friends. Eventually Donghun had met Junhee and everything seemed to fall in the right place for them.
To Hyojin thought, it seemed like a personal failure that he needed to overcome. And what better way than prove that he can also find love?
A long string of boyfriends followed. Some lasted a few months, some not even a few hours. Some of them chose to stick around, like Donghun had.
Park Minkyun, a loud producing major, went to a café date with Hyojin and dramatically fell in love at first sight with the barista. It was quite a funny experience from what Hyojin had told him. To be honest Seungjoon doesn’t understand who would think that Hyojin and Minkyun would have gotten along in the first place. Minkyun and Changyoon, the barista, decided that Hyojin was their personal cupid and that they will become his friends to repay him. In spite of Hyojin’s complains that now he is surrounded by loud people, Seungjoon has also gotten close with them.
Then came Shim Jaeyoung, a dance major like Seungjoon, who went on a few dates with Hyojin. But one day Hyojin decided to invite him for movies at their flat. Seungjoon thought everything went well, they played some video games, watched a pretty bad movie and ate cheap pizza. However, when he was about to leave Jaeyoung ended things right there.
“It’ll be great to hang out like this again, it was really fun.” He said. “But I think it’ll be great if we meet as friends next time.”
The thoroughly look he had casted Seungjoon was enough to tell him that somebody noticed. He doesn’t even remember what he did that night that gave him away, maybe Jaeyoung was just sharp with things like this. What was sure it was that his secret wasn’t just his anymore. Fortunately Jaeyoung never brought it up, but from time to time Seungjoon would catch him looking at him with a worried gaze. He shrugs it off every time. He’ll be fine, he was fine for years.
There were also some not so pleasant experiences. Like that asshole who kept talking shit and made Hyojin insecure about almost every little thing for two weeks. Seungjoon still doesn’t understand why his friend would even go out with someone like that. He may or may have not ask Jaeyoung to scare the dude a little.
Like that, until they entered their fourth year, Hyojin’s list of exes became longer and longer. But at the end of the day he would always come home to Seungjoon who would listen about his last break up and hug him to sleep. It hurt more and more with time, but for Hyojin he will do it for the rest of his life without complain.
“You know the worst part?” a half drunk, half crying Hyojin asked him on night after being dumped for God knows how many times. “They all seem to find their other half after going out with me. Minkyun may have been right, maybe I’m some kind of fucked up modern Cupid.” He snorted in his glass, swinging to the side, head falling on Seungjoon’s shoulder.
“Maybe I should date you too? So that you can also be happy.” He joked. Seungjoon laughed, ignoring his aching heart and stinging eyes.
“Like I would accept your sorry ass.” He half joked back. He had felt Hyojin’s eyes boring into his chin but stubbornly kept looking at the ceiling. He wonders what would have happened if he looked in Hyojin eyes then and said ‘why not, let’s try’’. Would thing have ended different for them? Back then he decided that the risk was too big, but was it really?
Cause in their 4th year Hyojin meets Song Hangyeom and Seungjoon’s world starts crushing down. Even if Hyojin said multiple times he fell in love before Seungjoon always knew it wasn’t really love. There was something desperate in Hyojin’s eyes every time telling him that he was still searching, for what Seungjoon has no idea. This time though something is different.
Hangyeom is a sweet kid, and his personality resembles Hyojin’s so much it was inevitable for them not to click so well. It takes almost two months of awkward flirting until they get together. For Seungjoon is hell. There are sparks in Hyojin’s eyes and his smiles are radiating so much warmth Seungjoon is scared he’ll get burnt. If he thought Hyojin talked a lot about Donghun this is on another level. He swears he knows Hangyeom better than Hangyeom knows himself by now. He wishes he could at least be able to hate him, but the kid is just too nice, almost stupidly nice, just like Hyojin.
Hangyeom starts coming over after him and Hyojin go out for around a month. They watch movies, play games, study or just laze around together, cuddled on the couch in the living room. The same couch Seungjoon had hugged a crying Hyojin to sleep so many times before. They always make sure to invite Seungjoon to join them but after a few times he starts inventing excuses to leave the living room or even the apartment. Even Seungjoon has to admit that they are adorable together and it suffocates him.
The more selfish part of him wishes they would break up already so he can go back to being Hyojin’s source of comfort. That part of him scares him, makes him stay in the practice room and dance until the odds hour of the morning when his body gives up and his brain finally shuts down.
Three more months go by and Seungjoon starts to realise that he barely sees Hyojin these days. It’s also his fault as he tries to keep himself busy so he doesn’t have to see the couple too often. He tells himself that being in his last year it’s more demanding. His department if preparing for two showcases, he needs to work on his choreography for his final exam and he was even asked to mentor two freshmen. But he knows that he should still go home from time to time, and not just when he knows Hyojin won’t be there.
At least nobody questions him when he stays all night in the practice room. Sometimes Yuto and Minseok, the two freshmen he is mentoring, keep him company until late in the night. But even they leave eventually, sleepily bumping into each other on their way out, hands brushing softly, both still too young and shy to confidently reach towards the other. Seungjoon watches them fondly, hoping they’ll have a happier fate than his.
Jaeyoung finds him one night, at around 2 am. He really doesn’t how it happened, but he must have fallen asleep while he was taking a break from practicing. The younger male scolds him softy before helping him up and half carrying him to his apartment.
“Why aren’t you going home, hyung?” he asks while he searches for some clothes Seungjoon could borrow.
Maybe it’s because Jaeyoung knows about his feelings, maybe because he is just too tired of lying, but he finds himself answering truthfully.
“Hangyeom might be there.” The way Jaeyoung looks at him, with so much sadness and worry, makes him want to run and hide, maybe to a desert island or even another planet.
“You could have come here.” The other says softly after a few long minutes stretched by silence. “Or you could have went to Minkyun and Changyoon. You don’t have to sleep in the practice room, hyung.”
Seungjoon doesn’t know how to answer to that. The truth is that it never passed his mind that he could go to them. They were all really nice people, but he never thought really cared about him. After all he was more Hyojin’s friend than personally theirs.
“Lucky that Yuto mentioned you or otherwise we’ll have probably never found out.” Jaeyoung murmurs. Seungjoon totally forgot Jaeyoung also knew Yuto. He sighs deeply while accepting the clothes the other finally found in his messy wardrobe.
“I’m sorry” for what he is sorry he doesn’t know. He just feels he need to say it, maybe it’ll lighten the mood. Jaeyoung just sighs in reply.
“What are you going to do, hyung?” he asks when Seungjoon is done changing. They’re both sitting on Jaeyoung’s couch, Seungjoon hugging a pillow tightly to his chest. The couch is old and kind of ragged, but it feels so comfortable to Seungjoon’s aching bones. Now that he thinks about it he didn’t sleep properly in a bed in the last week.
“What do you mean?” he asks, He feels the sleep crawling under his skin, pulling at his eyelids, It must be past 4am by now.
“With Hyojin hyung.”
Seungjoon finds it interesting how just a name can have such an effect on him. He can feel all the warmth leaving his body gradually, like someone poured cold ice water on top of his head, the back of his head getting numb while his heart clenches painfully.
“You have to do something. Things can’t go on like this, hyung. It’s not healthy.”
“I… I know.” He speaks more to the pillow than towards Jaeyoung. “I’ll get over it eventually. I just need some time.” He says almost robotically. He had repeated these words in his head so much it feels natural to speak them even when he still doesn’t truly believe them.
“Hyung.” Jaeyoung’s voice is almost pleading. Seungjoon feels a hand grip his leg gently. “You had time. A lot of time. You’ve been his friend for 11 years. Maybe it’s time to think about yourself more now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean it’s about time you sort this out. You either tell him the truth and then solve it together or move out.”
Move out? “B-but… I can’t move out.” He whispers. No he can’t do that. He had lived together with Hyojin for the last 4 years but he saw him daily for the last 11. The last months were a living hell since he couldn’t spent time with the older boy. But there is still some hope left in him that soon things will go back to normal that he’ll be next to Hyojin again soon. That’s his place after all.
“Oh, hyung” Jaeyoung voice sounds strange, like Seungjoon’s ears are full with water. Maybe they are, he sees a few drops falling on the pillow he’s still hugging tightly.
When he wakes up the next day the sun is so bright it must be late in the afternoon. The apartment is completely silent, no sign of Jaeyoung. He feels a little dazed from sleeping too much and he searches around the pillow for his phone. He remembers after a few moments that he left it in his jacket last night and struggles a little to get up. He stops in the kitchen to get a glass of water and finds a note from Jaeyoung telling him he’ll be back at around 6.
When he gets his phone he feels it vibrate softly in his hand, sign that he has some unread notifications. His eyes are still half closed and mistakes his password twice before unlocking it. Absentmindedly he notices that’s past 4pm. When he finally registers what’s written on the screen he sees there are a few messages and 12 missed calls. All from Hyojin. He freezes, the air stopping in his lungs.
He has no idea how he presses the call button but what he knows is that Hyojin answers after a few rings and his voice sounds terribly broken when he tells him he’s at home. By then he is already out of the building, still in Jaeyoung’s sleeping clothes, with his shoes just half way on. Their place is 20 minutes away but he makes it in less than ten, skipping 3 stairs at once to get to the third floor. The door is unlocked, his wrist making a loud cracking sound when he pushes with too much force.
Hyojin is on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. He looks horrible, eyes bloodshot, framed by almost purple dark bags. There are obvious tear tracks on his flushed cheeks and he must have bit his lower lip too much, it looks like it’ll bleed soon. He lifts his head slowly when he hears Seungjoon approach, a new string of tears preparing to drop.
Seungjoon passes the living room in just 3 steps, dropping in front of the couch and pulling him in a bone crashing hug. The older grips him just as hard, arms squeezing Seungjoon’s waist to the point that he can barely breathe but he doesn’t care. Not when Hyojin’s entire body is shaking, little sobs muffled in Seungjoon’s shoulder. He hugs him even tighter, one hand coming up to run through Hyojin’s soft hair.
Sincerely, it feels like coming home after months of wandering around empty streets. Just that instead of the warm house he expected it’s like somebody trashed it, broke the windows and left the door wide open for the wind to howl through. There is this urge burning in his chest, to find and punish whoever did this. Because this is his home and no one is allowed to treat it like this.
The intensity of the sudden possessiveness shocks him but he has more pressing problems to deal with at the moment. He tries to shush the other, rubbing his back, playing with his hair or just softy rocking him in his arms. But Hyojin keeps on crying, drenching Seungjoon’s shirt with tears. At some point Seungjoon starts tearing up too, his chest constricting painfully. Seeing his best friend, the person who he cares for the most, break down like this while there’s nothing he can do to ease his pain it is heart breaking.
A sob shakes his body, more frustration than anything else, and he digs his teeth into his lower lip to keep the sound in. It seems to be futile though, because Hyojin pushes him back softly. He tries to resist at first, to keep the other pressed on his chest, but when was he able to resist Hyojin really?
Hyojin’s eyes are big, shining with tears and still so red but at the same time so beautiful they leave Seungjoon breathless. One of Hyojin’s soft hands comes up to rest on Seungjoon’s damped cheek, whipping
gently at the flowing tears. Seungjoon’s heart stops for a second, complete silence engulfing them, before it starts beating so hard he can almost feel it hit his ribs. He lets out a shaky breath and tries to break the eye contact. But it’s like his body doesn’t listen to him anymore, eyes trapped in Hyojin’s mesmerizing gaze.
“Don’t cry.” It’s soft, almost inaudible, Hyojin’s voice cracking towards the end. Seungjoon’s heart makes another somersault and his tears stop almost immediately. The other gives him a crooked smile and even now it’s so beautiful Seungjoon might start to cry again.
Hyojin lets his head fall back on Seungjoon’s shoulder, pressing his burning forehead on the other’s cold neck and taking a deep breath, hot air coming back on Seungjoon’s collarbone. It’s calming, taking away some of the pressure on Seungjoon’s chest. He breathes in deeply too and feels himself relax a little.
“Hangyeom broke up with me last night.” Hyojin’s whispers on Seungjoon’s neck. He was expecting this really, but somehow it’s still surprising.
“Why?”
There’s a dry chuckle coming from the other. “He said it won’t work out. That it’ll be better if we were just friends.” He sounds like a broken record, playing the same part for god knows how many times. Seungjoon lost count by now.
“He’s an idiot.” He says, as he always does. Hyojin lets out another chuckle and the loop breaks.
“No, he’s not. He’s said some stuff last night and I think he might be right.” The other says softly.
“What stuff?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Seungjoon wants to argue that it does matter if it brought Hyojin in this state but the other changes the subject before he can.
“Where have you been?” the words are soft, like when you talk to an animal and you don’t want to scare it, but Seungjoon still tenses up. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in months.”
Seungjoon wants to say that it’s not true, but he can’t actually remember when the last time he saw Hyojin was, let alone when they spend time together.
“I’ve been busy.” It’s the truth but it still sounds like an excuse, maybe because he knows it is. Hyojin’s hand gathers into a fist around Seungjoon’s shirt.
“These are not your clothes.” He says, like he’s stating a fact, but there’s something hiding behind his controlled voice, his lips pressing into a soft frown on the other’s neck. Seungjoon hopes he doesn’t hear his hear going crazy again but who’s he kidding, probably even the neighbours can hear it now.
“No, they’re Jaeyoung’s.” he answers a little confused, more so flustered. Hyojin’s fist tightens around the fabric.
“You’ve been staying with him?” That strange tone again.
“Just last night. He found me in the practice room around two and kind of dragged me to his place.” Why does it sound like he is defending himself? Is he supposed to feel guilty? Still, it seems to be the right thing to say cause Hyojin’s unclenches his fist and the pout stretches into a small smile. It does no good to Seungjoon though, He wonders when he’ll be able to breathe normally again cause right now he’s gasping for air.
The other seems to decide to give him a break because he stops talking. He just continues to breathe softly on Seungjoon’s neck, on hand resting on the younger’s stomach, leaving almost all of his weight on the other.
“Are you sleepy?” Seungjoon asks after a few minutes of silence. Hyojin nods a little but doesn’t make show nay sign that he wants to move. Seungjoon sighs, but brings one hand up to rub the other’s back gently.
“You should sleep in bed.” He tries but Hyojin just frowns, moving even closer to him.
“You’re comfy.” He murmurs, lips now burning on Seungjoon’s skin. He almost jumps when he feels them, barely managing not.
“Come on,” he tries again “let’s get you to bed.” He tries to make the other stand but all he gets in reply is a whine. Hyojin literally whines. Jaeyoung was right, this is not healthy.
“Nooo.” the older whispers, clinging to Seungjoon, both arms around his shoulders. “I like it here.”
God must have dropped too much patience when he made Seungjoon otherwise he doesn’t know how he’s still able to resist this. He swears his heart is gonna explode soon and it’ll all be Kim Hyojin’s fault. If the other wouldn’t be so damn adorable at the moment he’ll punch him.
He feels the older’s head shift on his shoulder and a hot breath caressing his cheek and he knows he shouldn’t look, he really does, but he can’t help himself. Hyojin’s eyes are hypnotizing, luring him in and locking him there until his whole world seems to be defined by those dark orbs.
“Can you sleep with me?” it should be a question, it sounds like a question, but it is such a strong statement there’s room only for one answer. Seungjoon nods his head unconsciously. Hyojin’s eyes shine with a warm smile and Seungjoon’s heart does a final leap and then settles down, like it finally found its place. Like he’s finally home.
He wakes up a few hours later with a call from Jaeyoung. He hears the other vaguely complain about leaving the door unlocked and softly apologies as he feels Hyojin move in his sleep. He tightens his arm around the other’s waist, watching how he frown on Hyojin’s forehead evens out. He’s tempted to lean over and place a kiss right there, but tries his best to resist it. He hangs over instead and buries his face in Hyojin’s hair before going to sleep.
Something changes after that day. Suddenly Hyojin is everywhere: he wakes Seungjoon up with freshly made coffee every morning, walks together with him to classes and always finds him when it’s lunch time. Seungjoon is seriously wondering if he placed a tracker on him because he can’t explain it otherwise. The older even stays with him when he practices his dancing routines until late at night. Seungjoon tried to send him to sleep so many times but the other just refuses, always finding an excuse to stay with him. ‘I also have to practice this song.’ ‘I have so much homework, staying here will keep me awake.’ Or his favourite: ‘I can’t sleep if you’re not there. The bed is cold’. Hyojin had said that one night when Seungjoon was practicing with Minseok and Yuto. The two freshmen had both turned beet red and avoided to make eye contact with any of them for the rest of the night.
Hyojin also seems to need more physical contact after his break up, because he keeps initiating skin ship. There are innocent hand brushing, just that they happen way too often to be just coincidental and they almost always turn into hand holding. Hyojin also hugs him, a lot and in the most random moment. Not to mention that the older always finds his way in Seungjoon’s bed now days, resting on his chest in the middle of the night, when he thinks Seungjoon is asleep.
It’s really not healthy for Seungjoon. He feels like he’s gonna have a heart attack every five minutes and by now his cheeks to have become a permanent shade of red. Hyojin either doesn’t notice this or decided to ignore it. His other friends on the other hand notice right away.
Minkyun and Changyoon corner him the first time he and Hyojin go the Changyoon’s café after that day. Thankfully, Hyojin was looking for a table or Seungjoon might have just died right there.
“When did this happen?” Changyoon all but snarls at him, completely ignoring the order Seungjoon’s trying to place.
“What?” he asks a little taken aback. Minkyun appears from somewhere behind his boyfriend, eyes wide with shock. He really shouldn’t be behind the counter, given the fact that he’s not an employee, but he keeps on ignoring that rule.
“You and Hyojin hyung.” He stage whispers, enough for half of the shop to hear. Seungjoon feels his face drop.
“Nothing happened.” He manages to say through gritted teeth. “Now give me my coffee.”
He leaves the money on the counter, tuning out the two loud idiots as he makes his way towards Hyojin.
“What was that about?” the older asks him. There is the begging of a smirk on his face, taunting him.
“Nothing.” Seungjoon answers and Hyojin chuckles softly. Seungjoon can feel his heart in his throat but he ignores it. When he goes to retrieve their drinks he sees that the two idiots had drawn hearts all over the paper cups. He has to make a real effort to stop himself from throwing the coffee at their heads. Hyojin finds them cute apparently.
Jaeyoung is lot more discreet, but then again that’s not too hard. He only casts a few hard glances at them, still upset about Seungjoon leaving his door unlocked. However, when they part that day, Seungjoon notices that the usual suspicious looks are not reserved for him anymore. Jaeyoung seems to be busier observing how Hyojin links his pinky with Seungjoon’s. He goes red again as Jaeyoung raises an eyebrow at him. He’s aware that Hyojin is acting weird, but he blames the unusual clinginess on the recent break up.
“Seungjoon?” Hyojin calls for him. They are in the dance practice, Hyojin with his music theory papers scattered around him and Seungjoon sprawled on the floor, breathless after dancing for hours. He feels sticky with sweat and it fills him with joy. He hadn’t had such a productive practice in a long time. He just lays there, eyes closed shut, content with himself while listening to Hyojin softly hum some song.
“Mmm?” he hums back, stretching a little more. The cold floor against his hot sin makes him a little drowsy.
“Do you believe in soul mates?”
It might be an innocent question, one of the many curiosities Hyojin seems to have these days. But there is something in his voice that makes Seungjoon’s heart startle in anticipation, skin prickling with goose bumps.
“Kind of?”
“Kind of?” Hyojin repeats his question. When did he come so close? Seungjoon’s tempted to open his eyes, but also a little afraid of what he’ll have to face so for now he keeps them close.
“Yeah. I mean, I don’t believe there is some kind of mystical force that bonds two souls together. I guess it’s kind of the same reason I don’t believe in love at first sight.” Hyojin just hums like he approves. A hand twists around Seungjoon’s hair and he wants to push it away because he is sweaty, but it’s so relaxing. It coaxes him into talking some more so he just lets whatever words pass his mind out.
“But I do believe there is this one person who was made to match you. Not perfectly, ‘cause nothing can be perfect, but enough to make both of you happy on most of the days and also to make the bad days manageable. But I think it’s very hard to find that person.”
“Why?” Hyojin’s voice is a whisper now, so close yet somehow far, like he is lost in thoughts. Seungjoon smiles imaging the little frown on the other’s forehead and upper lip he has every time he’s thinking too hard.
“Because you have to get to know that person to realise they’re the one. And I by getting to know them I mean actually knowing every little thing about them. It’s hard to do that, it could take a lot of time and effort.”
“Like… years?” there’s a warm exhale on Seungjoon’s face and it startles him enough to make him open his eyes. Hyojin’s face is right above his, so close he could count every eyelash, every small concentration wrinkle. Seungjoon inhales harshly, but he is somehow frozen in place.
“Yes…” he hears himself whisper breathlessly as his eyes fall on Hyojin’s pink lips. “like years… many years…”
The other’s mouth twitches with a smile before he leans down further, lips hovering over Seungjoon’s for a few second, both of them breathing heavily into each other’s air. And then he finally presses them together, a soft push, barely there, before he really kisses him and suddenly there are sparkles on Seungjoon’s skin, flourishing from every place Hyojin touches him and spreading on his whole body until he feels like he’s on fire. It really feels like two worlds crashing together, and Seungjoon must have spoken too soon because there’s no way that mystical force doesn’t exist. How else will he explain the sudden pull he feels towards the other’s body?
Hyojin stops, lifting his head enough to make eye contact, searching for something, God knows what because Seungjoon doesn’t have time for this now. He secures a hand on the back of Hyojin’s neck, dragging him back down until their lips melt against each other again, until his mind is so hazy he can barely tell which lips are his and which are Hyojin’s, until his lungs scream for air and a second more.
He finally draws back so he can take a look at the other. Hyojin’s cheeks are bright red, his eyes shining so brightly Seungjoon swears he doesn’t need to see the stars ever again. He has them all right here. He lets out an air laugh, startling the other from whatever trance he was caught in. Hyojin smiles, so familiar but yet so new, leaning down for another short peck.
“I love you.”