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The end is one that has and will happen multiple times.
The pauses between endings are always something unpredictable.
Each story, different from the last.
This one, came more abruptly than you had prepared for.
Pain.
Bright and red.
Flaring hot.
Heat. Heat.
Pain.
Sudden and overwhelming.
It's all you can focus on.
Searing, overwhelming pain.
Then,
darkness.
Everything settles and its quiet.
A soothing dark you haven’t felt in years.
You wait.
Emotions tug and swirl but they are soft and diluted.
You drift.
Drift. Drift. Afloat.
Floating away from everything.
The impending pain is dulled by the comfort of weightlessness.
You wait.
You’re unsure how much time has passed before
suddenly
you’re aware.
Aware. Aware.
Its as if one day there is nothing.
Then the next, you blink.
And there is light.
Light. Light. Light.
A voice, confused, and startled by your presence, greets you.
You chuckle to hide the dull pain echoing in your soul.
You wait.
For now you can be patient.
You teach.
You explain.
You learn.
You desperately wish
You could leave.
You wish you didn’t have to rewrite this boys life.
This boy is young. So painfully young.
You wish he didn’t have to bear this burden.
But you have no choice, and now neither does he.
No choice.
Never a choice.
Fate is a cruel mistress.
You learned long ago to just play the game.
So you manipulate.
You push and lead.
You play the cards that were used to play you before.
You pretend.
That you aren’t drowning.
Deep in the night, between one day and the next.
When he isn’t awake, you think.
You settle into the depths of your soul and you mourn.
Not just the life you have lost.
Not just the one you are stealing.
But the one you left behind.
You wonder.
Is he okay?
You doubt.
Because he’d never been okay before.
You melt
Into the depths of your pain.
Night is the only time you can.
When you’re alone and aching from the tears you wish you could cry.
It's the only time you can hide,
your feelings,
your thoughts,
your memories.
The boy knows,
to some extent you can tell,
that something is wrong.
That you aren’t okay.
You don’t speak of it and he doesn’t press.
But you both know your pain is leaking into his dreams.
That your memories are intertwining with his and there's nothing you can do.
Your deep aching need to see him is what finally breaks the boy into leaving.
You are relieved to a point you can’t even be upset it's over the wrong reasons.
The boy wants to do what's right, and somehow settling the jagged edges of your soul lines up with that.
You’re desperate for news.
It's the only reason you don't stop him.
You wait.
You watch.
You wonder.
Is he okay?
It's a thought stuck on repeat
Spiraling. Spiraling. Twisting.
A twisted emotion that leaves your soul a tangled knot.
The boy is annoyed and you try to separate yourself enough so he doesn’t feel your pain.
You fail.
The boy constantly rubs at his chest, an unconscious movement on his part, a motion that never escapes your notice.
Months have passed since you fell.
You are aware, more than most would be, that so much could have happened.
You hope nothing has.
You watch.
As the boy stumbles along the path.
Heading to the one place you know he would have went.
If he had survived to leave at all.
You catch the thought, shove it as deep as it can go.
You lie.
As the boy questions your flare of pain.
You lie.
And try to keep the desperation from eating you.
Finally the train arrives and you wonder.
You almost tell the boy to go straight to the school.
But something tells you not to.
You follow the instinct.
The boy is confused but you just encourage him along.
Hoping.
Desperately praying.
To a higher power you yourself dont know if you believe in anymore.
That you’ll find him there.
Where he should be.
As soon as you see him.
Relief floods your soul.
You’re weightless.
Detached.
Almost as if you were bodiless once more.
Oscars panic is the only thing that grounds you.
You resettle lest you scare him more with your relief.
You watch.
You’re elated.
Ecstatic.
Bubbling over with joy you can't contain.
You try to rein it in.
If only because it makes Oscar nervous.
“Uhm, I’m supposed to tell you, that I’d like my cane back?”
You feel mirth bubble along your soul, the sentence makes no sense to Oscar.
But Qrow.
Qrow would get it, Qrow would know.
You feel this need to scream.
Im alive.
Alive. Alive. Alive.
But are you really?
You watch the smirk flit across the mans face, and it almost prevents you from seeing.
From seeing.
The way the man's eyes shutter.
You freeze.
You hold still.
Like bated breath.
As you watch the scene unfold.
Watch.
As he drinks.
Drink. Drink. Drink.
No longer sober and clearly broken.
You struggle to move.
As you watch Oscar fumble without your guidance.
Watch.
Wait.
Thoughts Racing.
As you see all the fault lines in Qrows facade shiver.
You lose track of time.
Lost in the spinning thoughts.
What could have happened
In the time you were gone?
Was he so broken
Because of you?
You don't want to give the thought credit.
Are you not just as broken because of him?
Oscar thinks.
And you shiver under the weight of the truth.
You ache, suddenly a livewire of pain.
Heat flares and the emotions you’d thought you’d worked through.
The pain you thought you'd buried.
Bubbles over the surface and you squirm.
Desperate in your own need to escape.
Oscar lets you.
He lets you retreat to the recesses of your combined souls.
He doesn't understand the pain.
But he understands the need to be alone.
When you finally regain control.
Of your whirlpool of emotions.
Cool.
Collected.
No longer tripping like a child down the sidewalk.
You realize Qrow has brought you both back to the inn.
You wonder.
How it is that you’re the infinite being.
When life still leaves you so breathless?
Clueless.
Lost and confused.
You urge Oscar to check on everyone.
You save Qrow for last.
You say it's because he’ll take the longest.
You know it's because you still aren't ready to see the result of the loss of you.
Turmoil so rough and raw it burns.
You watch as Oscar opens the door.
Everything zeros in on the man broken on the floor.
A mess of trembling limbs.
Your power flares, Oscar stumbles as you both fight for control.
Him out of panic.
You out of fear.
He wins if only because your grab for control was subconscious.
Oscar stumbles to the man “Qrow?”
And everything seems to fall apart.
You cry out, in the dark recesses of Oscars mind, as Qrow’s body seizes.
You reach out frantically.
Scared,
Confused,
Unsure of why,
But knowing this was bad.
You watch, as Qrow seizures.
You watch, as Oscar calls out for help.
You watch as the others come and everything becomes a frantic blur.
You watch.
You watch.
You see.
You see the second Qrow loses consciousness.
You see the moment his brain releases his body so it can suck in much needed air.
You see the moment the others get Qrow stable.
You see.
You realize.
It’s your fault.
Qrow is a broken mess sprawled before you.
And all you can think is.
It's your fault.
You're to blame.
Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.
If only you had been stronger.
Faster.
A better huntsman.
If only you hadn't,
Created the maidens to begin with.
If only you had,
Kept Qrow and Glynda at the tower.
If only you hadn’t went into that fight alone.
Qrow lays a broken mess of trembling limbs desperate for oxygen.
A body laying to waste in clear need of nourishment.
He lays broken at your feet.
And you know that you’re the real reason why.
You’d been the only path Qrow had followed for years.
And you left him.
Broken.
You didn’t find him.
Sooner.
You left him.
Lost.
You didn't rescue him.
From this darkness.
You shatter, a painful cry of breathless air.
A soul tethered to such an innocent boy and you wrench yourself as separate as possible.
You desperately wish to remove yourself.
From this continued existence.
Because you break,
Everything you touch.
And you’re so tired.
Do I not get a opinion?
Oscars voice whispers against your conscious.
And you realize, you’ve been a swirling mass of pain for hours.
You Blink
Back into awareness
No matter how unwillingly
I know you didn’t choose this, Ozpin. You didn’t force this on me.
You can't stop the wounded sound before it starts and you swirl.
A mass of emotion and pain, because that is all that's left of you.
I doubt Qrow believes this is your fault.
We don’t blame you Ozpin.
Maybe you shouldn’t blame yourself.
You did what you thought was right.
You fought with all you had.
You settle, a small part of your soul soothed.
A balm of cool across the red aching parts of you that are raw and exposed.
You listen.
You watch.
You settle.
He's going to be fine.
You believe.
Like you, he just needs to face his grief.
You dont doubt
You’re both idiots for trying to bury it.
You can't help the startled laugh, even as it rides the exasperation of a fourteen year old boy.
You can't hide from that kind of pain. You have to face it.
You settle.
You take a slow breath.
You wait.
A soft whimper and both you and Oscar are instantly alert.
In sync, for the first time ever.
It’d amuse you, if you didn’t recognize what it meant.
You shift your focus, Qrow is more important.
Your excitement, from before, resurfaces like a soft flame.
You push.
Push. Push.Push.
Until even Oscar cant ignore the instinct to listen.
You chuckle softly, over their twin confusion,
While you relish in the softness of Qrows messy hair.
You take comfort in the fact that it means the man is alive.
Alive and breathing, soft locks tangled in your hand.
He is alive.
Alive. Alive. Alive.
You feel Oscars resigned exasperation and
Excitement bubbles.
You know what it means and you let your magic flare.
Happy. Excited.
Control.
You take a shuddering breath, the first you’ve taken on your own in months.
You grin.
“Hey Oz”
Your grin turns crooked as you meet a broken red gaze.
Everything is broken.
The path is no longer clear.
You know that nothing will ever be the same.
But in the moment,
Here and now
You are alive
He is alive
You’ll be okay.
“Hey Qrow”
Nothing is fixed.
You’re still a ghost of who you were
But you know,
Intimately
Deeply
Intoxicatingly
That everything will be okay.
Broken doesn't always mean unfixable.
Dead doesn't always mean gone.
New beginnings can bloom from the ashes of a forest.