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Tomoe’s ring tone for Riku was a wind chime simply because he liked the lively sound. It was odd for Riku to call him from down the hall, but knowing it was him meant Tomoe grabbed for his phone and opened the message right away.
There were two pictures of Riku. He was lying on his bed, holding up his phone to get as wide of an angle as possible, completely naked.
The pictures were probably taken only a few seconds apart. In the first there was tension in the muscles of his arms and his abs and he bit his lip nervously. His knees were up and almost touched together, casting a shadow between his legs. In the second he was a fraction more relaxed, with his lips parted and eyes half closed. There was just a fraction more on display. Tomoe tilted his phone, looking for an angle that would let him see just a little more.
“Happy now?” read the message.
Well, Tomoe was not unhappy.
While he was studying the second picture he heard Riku charge down the hall. He burst into Tomoe’s room without knocking, shouting, “Delete that!”
Riku had found time to pull on pajama pants. Tomoe found himself simultaneously very aware of both Riku’s bare chest and the parts of his body now covered up.
“You didn’t open it, right? It was an accident! I wasn’t trying to send that to you.”
Tomoe looked back at his phone. Of course Riku wouldn’t send him nudes, even if their relationship had grown closer again since Tomoe moved back home. Even if Riku felt like showing him that he wouldn’t need to use his phone.
“If it’s for Takeru-kun, I think he would like to see more of your legs.” Tomoe had accepted Riku’s teammate as his future brother-in-law. Tomoe’s list of qualifications for dating his precious little brother wasn’t meant to be passed, but Takeru had the singular distinction of being there to support, inspire, and challenge Riku when Tomoe wasn’t.
Riku fell back against the wall, hands over his face as he groaned, “Please just delete the pictures.”
Tomoe hadn’t planned on it, but if Riku was asking him to he would. Rather than thinking too much about that, he offered, “I could help. I can hold the camera for you.”
“What? No! I’m just going to tell him he’s not getting any pictures. He doesn’t need them. He already attacks me in the bath every chance he gets.”
“What?”
“And then he always has something critical to say. I wouldn’t mind him feeling up my legs, but then he has to make some comment on my workout routine. I mean, sometimes I actually wish he was doing it to be a pervert.”
“Riku.”
“I’m not complaining!” Riku softened just a little. His expression almost fell into a pout, which Tomoe recognized. It meant Riku knew he was safe to confide in, however reluctantly. “I’m just nervous. But if I’m this nervous I don’t know how I’m going to deal with living together.”
The words ‘living together’ made a strange empty space in Tomoe’s head. He tried to forget that the time when he could be so close to Riku every day was getting short. Riku hadn’t even applied to Tomoe’s university, saying he wouldn’t get in. Instead he chosen to go far enough that he was making plans to rent an apartment with his ‘friend.’
“Let me help.” There would only be so many times Riku came to him first. He had always wanted to be the person Riku could come to for anything.
“Are you kidding?” Riku glanced away from Tomoe’s serious expression. He would already know the answer. “Fine. You’re so weird.”
Tomoe hooked his fingers in the waistband of Riku’s pajama pants and smoothly pulled them down. There was no underwear to get in the way. Tomoe finished on his knees with his fingers running down the backs of Riku’s ankles.
While he pried himself away to get his phone, Riku sat down and kicked the pants off. Tomoe turned around to find him curled up, watching (embarrassed, expectant) for his next move. Tomoe would have liked a picture of that to remember forever.
Tomoe knelt and set about encouraging Riku to uncurl. He coaxed Riku to spread his legs into a position where Tomoe had a very good angle to appreciate them. There was a slight resistence to each movement but then Riku stayed however Tomoe arranged him.
In the first picture Riku closed his eyes. There was tension in his calves, his thighs, his fingers. Tomoe put his hand on Riku’s foot, safely out of view, and stroked from his toes to his ankle. It took a few seconds for Riku to crack his eyes open. Tomoe gently encouraged him. He was even more beautiful when he relaxed.
“Stop that,” Riku protested. He grumbled, and Tomoe recognized the sound of him trying not to laugh. “Stop smiling at me like that.”
Tomoe couldn’t obey.
Riku gave him the smile he knew so well, just before he said, “There’s something wrong with us, isn’t there?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
It didn’t have to be wrong, Tomoe told himself. As long as he didn’t touch Riku (too much), as long as he didn’t stare (too hard), or as long as he didn’t think of more than that, it would be fine. What he was helping Riku with was inherently sexual, but his involvement could still be called innocent, right?
Tomoe focused on Riku’s face. If he already wanted to touch Riku’s face (his flushed cheeks, his parted lips) then it probably wasn’t safe to stop and stare elsewhere.
He didn’t realize his hand had slid up well past Riku’s knee until Riku squirmed and covered himself again.
“Okay, that’s it! I’m done. Give me my pants.”
Riku scrambled back into his clothes in record time. He still had a spectacular blush, and he was not interested in Tomoe’s offers of further help, but at least he was happy.
Tomoe was left with a head full of things he had been trying not to think about too hard. It was very hard to put his thoughts on the shelf when he couldn’t get up and move. Tomoe sent the new pictures to Riku and then lay back in his bed, holding his phone to his chest.
The most important thing in the world to him was that Riku was back in his life. Riku wanted to talk to him and spend time with him. Riku had even confided in him, things like who he was in love with and what he wanted to do about it.
When they were kids Riku had always come to him first. Riku had even snuck into his bed when he was scared and couldn’t sleep. When Riku finally climbed the tree outside his window and broke off the branch that scraped across his window at night Tomoe had been proud of him, but he felt the loss when Riku didn’t have a reason to come to him anymore. He missed Riku pressed warm against his side, and feeling how he went completely limp once he felt safe. He missed the peaceful sound of Riku breathing as they fell asleep together.
There was still an empty place in Tomoe’s bed where he wanted Riku to be. (There were a lot of empty places where he wanted Riku to be.) Tomoe felt the same thinking this accident wasn’t going to happen a second time.
He had promised Riku he would delete all the pictures right away, but just for a minute he was going to savor what he had. Since Riku wasn’t here he would stop worrying if he stayed in safe territory, and look as much as he wanted.