Chapter Text
Opening his eyes he notices familiar bed, familiar wallpapers and a familiar smell. The smell of home.
"Tom?" He calls out, voice still a bit hoarse and he didn't have much power.
He flexes his hand but realizes his magic was busy healing him.
"Mipsy." He calls the elf bound to the manor.
She pops in front of him in and instance and gasps at the sight of her other master in such state.
"Call your master, Mipsy. He will likely be in foul mood so make sure you mention me so that you won't get hurt."
Mipsy nods hurriedly and pops away.
Harry lays down on the carpet, his breath was beated and scarce. His mind supplies countless thoughts, what would have happened if he had died there? A death with no memory of his beloved, Tom. Just the though that he had forgotten all their beautiful memory makes him sick. And thinking of being sick, his stomach churns irritatingly and he hurls on the carpet. The stench makes his body curl up. He was captured and the traitors berated him for his love. For loving Tom, a man who cared for him more than they ever will, he wonders what Sirius would react like if they saw him that day.
In the dark lord's arm, in front of the throne while the announcement and punishment were dictated, some agreed while some broke down because their final hope had fallen and some rebelled, Hermione screaming at him in front of everyone for being a traitor and him screaming back at how distrustful and disgusting woman she was because she agreed in the manipulation Dumbledore had done, made him go to abusive household. This had made many people around the arena gasp, Harry had proceeded to expose every foul thing the order and Dumbledore had done to him which made many people hate the old man.
Everything else happened fast the explosion made Tom distracted and just when Harry was fending off himself, some one had thrown a confundus charm and apparated away from the arena to throw him in the cold room of, Sirius's now his house, Regulus Black's room, they wasted no time on attacking him and stripping him and binding him, taking his belongings away. Ronald had hissed over how nice the robe was and how he didn't deserve it. Jealous Git.
He had been there for more than he could count or maybe less but with no ray of light passing into the room he had no idea, due to blood loss and starvation and numerous painful curse he had lost control of everything. His sanity had slipped a little, he was thankful of the twins, Dumbledore was probably alerted about his escape, maybe Kreacher would be killed too.
Just then the door opens and Tom walks in, huffing and puffing, looking so lovely so beautiful. Harry smiles at his lover gently, it was blurry but he knew the sight all too well.
Tom lets his tears fall freely at the sight of his lover in the tattered form. The criminals will pay and it was final. The old man had lived far too much. He rushes to Harry's side and takes him in his arms gently.
Harry gasps at the warmth a soothing sensation filling his whole body and he suddenly breaks.
Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. His Tom.
"Right here, darling. Calm down. Everything is over now."
Harry nods against Tom's chest and chokes out sobs after sob.
He pulls back and looks deep into those beautiful red eyes and sharp jaw and slightly aged face which had dark circles and looked a bit shrunken too. He kisses Tom all over his face, gently grasping his face in between his hands tasting salt and that is when he finally realizes Tom was also crying.
"Missed you so much." Tom whispers.
Harry nods and rests his forehead on top of Tom's, "Me too. I had lost my memory. Memory of you, memory of my magic and everything else i hold dear to. I was so scared Tom. So scared of dying. Dying with no memory of you." He says softly.
Tom shuddered at that, it felt cold and distant, the thought of Harry not knowing him. "What did they do?"
Harry runs it by Tom, explaining how the twins were there for him.
"They tortured you for more than a week." He whispers.
Harry raises his eyebrows. A week. He had been gone for a week. His hand gently wraps around his abdomen and he feels tears bursting from his eyes again.
"Tom...." he whispers, he takes Tom's hand and grasps it tightly. "Tom i am sorry i never told you this. I really am."
Tom looked frantic, he was looking at Harry with wide questioning eyes. "What is it, love? I won't be mad."
Harry keeps on sobbing he couldn't utter a word. In the midst of running away and his own mind in jumbled state he had completely forgotten about the little life inside him, those filthy traitors had killed it and he will pay that back by killing the whole clan. He remembers very vaguely, Molly Weasley was an excellent healer, she had felt another presence very fast and had screeched about how unholy and how disgusting his child was. He squeezes his now empty abdomen, he hadn't mentioned it to Tom, waiting for a perfect moment because he himself had known about it on the morning before raid in ministry. Not being able to contain his happiness, the one person he had talked about it was Bellatrix who had hugged him and twirled him around, congratulating him about the heir.
He feels Tom's warmth surrounding him, yet again his lithe body was on his lover's lap, who was rocking gently trying to calm him.
Harry was still sobbing, the loss of his child, their child. Harry's dull green eyes falls on Tom's eyes.
"I am so sorry, my love. I never got to tell you." He whispers sadly. "You deserve to know."
Tom was almost scared. "What is it? Please, tell me Hadrian."
Harry takes few shuddering breath, he should calm himself down he clutches Tom's hand.
"I was pregnant." He whispers, the fact that he had to break the news to Tom in 'was', broke his heart. He guides Tom's hand on his abdomen. "It was our baby. They...they killed it. They killed our child Tom."
Tom was frozen on his spot, his eyes were flickering dangerously making the red look slightly black, the tendrils of his magic which was normally seductive was suffocating. The windows were rattling and Tom, he was shaking with rage.
They dared to hurt his precious and his child too.
"Tom. Darling, please." Harry whispers, his hands grasping Tom's cold ones. "I need you right now."
It jolts Tom out of his thoughts, he takes Harry in his arms without words and stands up, walking to the bathroom, he wordlessly lets the tub fill with warm water and sets Harry on top of the gold vanity, he takes a closer look at his lover who was refusing to meet his eye. He gently takes Harry's chin and lifts it up.
His eyes were red from crying and the green orbs that always glittered was hollow and dull.
"I am not mad at you, Hadrian you know that right?"
Harry nods.
"When did you find out?"
"I-i was waiting for the right time to tell but i fo-found out the day we went on the raid."
"One the same-" his throat tightens. He knew his pain was far more than Harry's, he didn't know what it was like to have a life inside him. "Who was it?"
Harry's eyes hardens. "The Weasley's mother, how could a mother of seven children do something as horrible as that Tom?" He asks, his hand on his abdomen again. "They pulled me away from his presence in a split second, I bled and bled and all that bitch did was watch. Berated me for having your baby, i didn't...i didn't even know it's gender!" He cries.
Tom will slaughter the weasley clan right in front of their mother, to let her know the pain of loosing a child.
"I will kill them, Tom. I will. That is my promise. I lost my memory and the amount of thing they made me do. Stripped me naked and, and threw curses after curses on me and my baby before they killed it. Even Moo-Lupin stood there with cold distant eyes. I don't think Molly let anyone know about our baby, no one else insulted me for it." Harry mutters, his voice was distant, he had never expected Remus to betray him as well.
The physical pain of being separated from his child was less than the emotional pain. It had been worse when the small presence around his core had dimmed slowly.
"Yes, my love. You will. You know where they are. Call the elf and let him do the work of capturing them all."
Harry nods, Tom was right, they were weak and stupid to think they could hide in his own property. "Kreacher."
Kreacher pops in front of them instantly, the sight of the dark lord making him fall on his knees and grovel for forgiveness.
"Get up, Elf." Tom orders, coldly. "You failed in saving your master!" He growls.
Harry takes Tom's arms before he could crucio Kreacher. "He didn’t Tom. He did good by staying on their good graces."
Kreacher was still shaking with fear but his master's words bring slight hope in him.
Tom sneers at the elf but doesn't do anything. "You will pay for your sins by helping your masters, Kreacher."
Kreacher nods hurriedly. "Yes, anything, masters."
"Tell us do they know Hadrian has left?"
Kreacher shakes his head. "No, master V-v-voldemort, they are busy with plotting rebellion against you and the faithful ones are distracting them."
Tom nods. "Bring them all to the dungeons, elf, without being suspicious, make sure you let the twins know. And you succeed in your task or else.." He lets the threat hang. He thinks for a while and decides to call one of his elf too. "Mipsy."
Mipsy pops in at once. "What can Mipsy do, my Lords?"
"Go with Hadrian's elf and help him get the traitors here."
"Ones who hurt master?" She asks, eyes gleaming with anger.
Harry nods and Mipsy bows down. "We shall come back without failing, my Lords."
They both pop back into the base where the orders were hidden- 12-Grimmauld place.
Tom turns to Harry, "In the week you have been gone, every dark creatures and my death eaters had been searching for you. They were all worried, especially Severus and Sanguine."
Harry nearly cries again because he was good friends with everyone on their side, especially with the potion master and the head of Vampire coven, Sanguine and even his rival Draco. Draco probably didn't show his worries in front of his lord because he was too proud for that.
Tom sighs and kisses Harry gently, reassuring him that he will meet them all. He takes Harry's loosely fit robes and pulls on the fabric that tied it together.
Harry is suddenly aware of his scars and recoils back.
Tom shakes his head and keeps Harry in place. "No. Hadrain." He whispers softly. "I have seen your body before haven't I? When i saved you from that filthy muggle relative of yours. Did i ever feel disgusted?"
Harry shakes his head.
"Do you remember what i said?"
Harry nods, reluctantly.
"What did i say, baby?"
Harry feels tears rolling down his cheeks again. "That i will always be beautiful for you." He mumbles, nearly inaudible.
"Louder, Hadrian." Tom says gently.
"That...that i will always be beautiful for you." He says, louder and clearer than before. The soft spoken promise of the past, flashing through his head which makes him lighter and happier.
"That's right, darling." Tom says proudly and gently disrobes Harry. His eyes hardens at the sight of cuts and whip marks which were no doubt infected. There were blue bruises around ribs and abdomen, showing signs of internal bleeding. Half of it was healed already by Harry's magic but there must be few broken bones and the infection must be treated as well. "Let's get you in the water."
Harry nods and clings on Tom's shoulder like a cat. He feels warm water on his cold body and shudders in pleasure. Relaxing into the water he kisses Tom's cheeks thanking him silently. Gently, he rests his body on the edge of the huge tub so that he can be close to Tom who was taking shower nozel out of it's hold.
"Let me wash your hair." He says softly and takes the nozzle and gently wets Harry's head, the water falling down his body and onto the tub.
Harry looks down at the water in tub which was red from his blood, they banged his head two or three times, there must have been blood clots on his scalp. He feels Tom's gentle fingers caressing his scalp and untangling his long hair.
"They snipped my hair off." He whispers. "Ginny was raging about how I betrayed her by going to you and that i was supposed to marry her and i spat on her face after she said something about you. In anger she snipped my hair sneering about how i looked like a girl and how you won't love me anymore if i looked ugly..." he says, his hands gently tracing his split lips and slightly swollen cheeks. "But you know how my hair is." He says softly, laughing. "It grew right up after few minutes."
But Tom wasn't laughing, he knew how the muggles used to shave Harry's head completely and he had a bit of a trauma if sorts over someone touching it.
"Stop talking about it Hadrian." Tom says softly. "It will only bring you pain. Tomorrow there will be a banquet on your return and their execution." Tom says, voice dripping with anger and pride.
Harry nods.
"Let me kill them, Tom. The twins will be spared but other Weasley's, Hermione and Mo-Lupin will face their punishment from my hands. There were others too, Mad eye moody kept on casting legilimens to know our location and was yelling about how i was under imperious curse and you were just using me. Nymphadora Tonks was with Molly when she killed our...our child. So they are mine to kill. You get Dumbledore, and others."
Tom nods. How could they even think that he would do something to his Hadrian? His love for Harry was true and passionate. Before he was insane he had no recollection of Harry, just that he hated the child, but Harry had bonded with his younger self in the diary and had helped him return to a normal sane person. At first they had decided to be just friends because after all the new Tom wasn't the Tom Harry had fallen in love with but shortly it all went back to it's places and Harry had confessed, along with himself.
"You love me right, Tom? Even though i let our child get killed?"
Tom growls at the outrageous question. "Don't question my love for you, Hadrian. You know i do! It wasn't your fault, you didn't let him get killed those filths were the one who snatched it away from us and they will be the ones who will pay."
Harry nods, shutting his eyes when shampoo studs falls down his hair with water. After short while Tom cleans him up and bundles him in robes and takes him back to his bed.
"I will call Narcissa and Severus, is that alright for you?"
Harry nods. "Could...could you call Draco too?"
Tom smiles and nods. "Devon." He calls another house elf, who pops in within a second and bows down.
"Devon, call Narcissa Malfroy and her heir along with Severus."
Devon nods and pops away.
The said people apparate in front of their lord and fall on their knees at once.
"Rise." Tom orders.
Severus's eyes falls on the lithe body on the bed and his eyes widens.
"Hadrian!" He near to yells in astonishment his cold mask falling.
Harry smiles softly at Severus and then at Draco who looked like he was close to crying or jumping on him to hug him.
"Come on, Malfoy." He says softly, raising his arms. He missed his friend.
Draco looks at his Lord eyes begging for permission and instantly reaches his friend's side when he nods.
"Oh, Harry!" He cries. Gently taking Harry in his arms and hugging him softly.
Harry pats Draco's back softly. "I will be fine, you git. You look like you haven't slept for days."
Draco sniffles, holding his tears. "No one has slept since you left, Harry. What...what happened?"
Harry not having strength to say everything again he gestures to Tom.
Tom tells them about everything aside from their lost child and orders Narcissa to start with the healing process.
Narcissa takes her role as healer and starts moving hurriedly, casting diagnostic charm. Her eyes widens when she sees 'Miscarriage' written.
"M-my Lord." She whispers, horrified.
Harry realizes why Narcissa looked terrified and closed his eyes, he didn't want to actually hear it, he knew it but he didn't want to hear it.
"It...it says..miscarriage."
Severus gasps horrified and then growls. Draco takes Harry's hand and gently rubs it while Harry curls up and starts breaking down again. Tom switches position with Draco who had left the room looking stricken.
The room was sickeningly silent and Harry finally gains his confidence back, with his head on his lover's lap he sighs against Tom's stomach.
"Check it...check whether...whether i can carry another child or not." He says softly. He knew he couldn't, he knew but he had to hear it, he had to for his own sanity because a nonexistent small hope would kill him and Tom.
"Hadrian, you don't ha-"
"No, Tom. I do." He whispers softly, taking Tom's hand.
Narcissa nods and starts chanting spells after spells to heal everything, broken bones, infected wounds, internal bleeding. And Severus helped by providing potions aAnd salves. At last Narcissa had healed everything with just the scars left, which would go away easily.
She takes a deep breath and gently rests her wand on top of Harry’s abdomen, a warm blue light envelopes the spot and then it turns black. Taking her wand back, Narcissa takes a shuddering breath, eyes teary, she takes Harry's frozen hand and holds it tightly.
"I...i am so sorry, Harry." She whispers.
Harry chokes on his sob, he clutches Narcissa's hand tightly and lets his tears fall.
Tom growls, that couldn't be it, his Hadrian deserved a child, he deserved to be a mother, no one would snatch it away from him. "No! Heal him! You can heal him. Hadrian I will find the best healer and ta-"
"My lord, the black light means damage was too much, i am sorry my lord."
"No. No." Tom whispers, he wanted to kill, he needed to kill. They would all pay for hurting his Hadrian.
"It is ok, Tom. I am sorry I couldn't provide us an heir." Harry whispers sadly.
Tom near to cries. "It isn't about having an heir, Hadrian. This is about you and our baby, your dream of...of caring and loving them together, a family we were going to build!" He shouts.
Harry shakes his head, he sits up, he turns to two of their guests. "Thank you. You may go. There will be a meeting tomorrow, be ready."
They both nod and apparate away.
After that Harry turns to his angry lover and takes his face in between his small hands again.
"I know my dream, Tom. I do and i will miss it. We will never have a child of our own.." he whispers softly, he takes Tom's hand and puts it on his abdomen. "This will never swell with the proof of our love but we will always be together, Tom. We have won the war, we have majority of the people on our side. And that is enough for me." He says softly. He leans up and kisses the furrowed eyebrows. "You are enough for me."
Tom hugs Harry and lets his tears fall against his neck without a sound. He would never be able to fulfill Harry's wishes.
Harry gently pats Tom's hair, letting himself slug over Tom's hold. After that, Tom holds him closer and lays him on the bed.
"Rest, Hadrian. Tomorrow is a big day." He says, eyes rimmed red.
Harry nods and pulls Tom down besides him. "Don't leave me, please. Just until i wake up."
Tom shakes his head. "I won't leave your side, Hadrian." He whispers, he kisses the bed of wet hair, pulls Harry closer and pulls the cover up.
Harry is slowly lulled to sleep due to exhaustion and Tom's smell.