Chapter Text
Starscream stood by a large window looking out to the stars with a blank expression. In his spark, there was now a constant, deep ache that he knew would never leave him. A deep scar carved in the center of his being by the loss of his other half, something that could never be healed…
He felt so alone. He had never felt this alone since he bonded with Megatron so many years ago. He felt empty, like a shell, devoid of anything, but pain, and a sorrow so deep it felt like it was eating his spark. He idly strokes his chest, playing with the idea of just clawing out his spark to join bond mate. The only thing preventing him from doing so was the child growing inside him.
Sighing, he looks away from the window and heads to an energon dispenser, not even acknowledging the presence of Ratchet and Optimus as he walks by.
The medic sighs and shakes his head before turning to Optimus.
"He's been like this for a month since... Well, since Megatron's death. It's a form of catatonic state due to the sudden, violent way the bond was severed." He exclaims.
"Can you help him, Ratchet?" Optimus asks, guilt eating at him.
"I'm afraid not... there isn't something that can be healed in a usual way. He will have to come to terms with it first, and then the healing process could begin. He's still in the deep, complete denial stage." Ratchet replied, sounding sour and helpless. He hated nothing more than not being able to help a patient.
"And the little ones?" It was discovered shortly after the battle that Starscream was carrying twins.
"They're growing at a normal rate. However, should he decide to give up and snuff his spark there's nothing I would be able to do to save them." Saying it out loud made it all the more frightening.
"I see, thank you, Ratchet. Do... do what you can to help him." What else could he say? It wasn't like he could bring someone back from the dead. He wasn't Primus.
Heaving a sigh of his own, Optimus shakes his head, leaving Ratchet to keep an eye on the grieving seeker. There was another grieving mech that was just as distraught as the lithe seeker.
X x x
Savage was curled up on his berth staring at nothing in particular, tears running down his face. He had failed to protect his brother, the entire reason he made that stupid deal! It was his fault Megatron was dead, he had been the one to strike the death blow. He could still hear himself screaming himself hoarse while holding Megatron's body close, not an easy task as his dead weight was staggering.
'It should have been me!' He had wailed into Megatron's chest. 'I should have died not you!'
He had become hysterical when Optimus had gently, but firmly pulled him away from Megatron and into his chest. He was freed from his deal with Unicron however, it should have been him that died not Megatron.
Being responsible for it tormented him the most, it tore at his spark and he wanted it to stop. Sniffling, he rolled onto his left side and saw a large knife on the counter. He knew that stabbing himself in the spark would end his pain and free him from his guilt.
Sitting up, he slides off the bed and walked over to the counter and grasped the hilt of the knife.
X x X
Optimus had walked to Savage room, and knocking softly at the door before entering. Hearing no response, he knocked again, harder, and then frowned when no answers came this time again. Seeing the mental state Savage was in, this was most worrying, and he used his hacking skills to override the lock's mechanism and open the door.
He took a few steps in the room, dark and most empty, before heading to the back room, where he hears whimpering and sobbing.
"Savage?" he calls, looking inside the bedroom. He saw nothing at first, but could hear the faintest of sobbing and hear a barely audible scraping sound. He walks around the bed, and froze, shock and horror striking him. "Savage! No!"
There, at the foot of the bed near the counter, Savage lies in a pool of his own blood, growing larger by the second. He kneels beside him, seeing the hilt of the knife he used sticking out of his chest, and called Ratchet, not daring to move anything.
"Ratchet! I have a medical emergency in Savage's room! Knife wound to the chest!"
There was a pause, and then Ratchet answered immediately. "I'm on my way with Knockout! Try not to move him! Keep him alive!"
"N-no... don't try to save... me, I'm not worth it..."
Optimus jumps at the sound of Savage's voice, he looks down at the flyer who was lying on his side, looking up at him his optics dim and filled with sorrow.
"Don't say that Savage." Optimus cooed softly, placing a comforting hand on the side of his face.
"I killed him, I killed my own brother. I only wanted to protect him and I failed." Savage brokenly sobbed.
Optimus gently rubbed Savage's cheek, wiping away the tears, smiling at him with a comforting smile. It was hard though... he didn't want the young seeker to join his brother. He had a family to think about…
"Savage, your life is not over. You have to think of those who still need you here. Those who you're going to abandon if you die." His words may be a little harsh, but they were needed in order to open the seeker's eyes.
"W-Who...?" Savage whispers, his voice growing weaker.
"Your offspring, Savage, they need you. You need to live, for them if anything else." he replies firmly, relieved to hear the door open and footsteps coming in.
Ratchet bursts in with Knockout on his tail and both medics went to kneel by the seeker's side. They were quick to assess the wound and what had to be done, they quickly stopped the flow blood, and strapped him to a hovering platform. Savage's optics, during this procedure, were thoughtful and tears were running down his cheeks.
"B-but... Starscream..." He breathes while taken to the med bay, Optimus following.
"Is in no condition to care for them, maybe never will be." Optimus countered him with this same firm tone.
X x X
Later, Med-bay...
"He's lost a lot of blood, other than that he missed his spark." Ratchet informed Prime once Savage was stable.
"Thank Primus for that," Prime said. "Maelstrom and Sagaris need him."
"Speaking of sparklings, you need a check up on your little one." Knockout comments looking at Ratchet.
Ratchet huffs a little before getting on a medical bed and crosses his arms and waits while Knockout scans him.
"Dreadwing is proving to be a capable leader." Optimus states while Knockout continues the scan.
"Agreed." Ratchet replies relaxing at the mention of his mate.
Dreadwing was proving himself a capable leader, quickly asserting his authority over the Insecticons after Savage, in his grief ridden state attacked Hardshell when the bug challenged the larger seeker.
The reason for the challenge was made due to the seeker announcing that the war was over.
"The sparkling is healthy. We will be able to see whether the little one is male or female in a couple of weeks." Knockout informs him, much to Ratchet's hidden delight.
X x X
Savage woke from his sedation a few hours later, he felt dazed and heavy like there was a weight resting on his chest. He groans softly as he turns his head, his optics fall on the tank where his sparklings were located.
Starscream was there as well, a hand resting on the smooth surface, humming a lullaby for the little ones. Savage froze at the heartbreaking sight, the other seeker's posture was full of sorrow and pain, his wings slumped, and the light of his optics dim and dull.
Seeing it, Savage felt like such as asshole, thinking that he was the only one suffering, he was not the only one in pain. Megatron had been his brother, but Starscream had been his mate. The lithe seeker's suffering was probably ten times worse if the rumors about severed spark bonds were true.
Savage slowly sat up and bit back a groan of discomfort, panting quietly as he slides off the medical bed to join the seeker beside the artificial womb. If Starscream heard him, the other flyer didn't acknowledge him, not until the younger one was standing beside the other.
"What you tried to do was foolish as well as selfish," Starscream scolded, keeping his tone calm so as not to upset the little ones. "I do not hold you accountable for killing him. However, trying to take your own life after he sacrificed himself to save you, is honestly the worst thing you could do to honor the memory of someone you love."
Starscream glared at him out of the corner of his eye, but his spark wasn't is it.
"He knows that you just wanted to protect him, while you were gone all he thought about was rescuing you from that beast. He wanted to save you so you could watch them grow, he died achieving that goal."
"I realize that now..." Savage replied, his tune soft and subdued, holding an edge of sorrow. He shot the seeker a sideways glance, and Starscream had a curt nod, accepting his words.
"Make sure you never forget this, Savage. And don't you ever again throw back Megatron's sacrifice in his face like that again." His tone was angry, but his voice was weak.
"I'm glad to see you up and about, Starscream. You seem to be getting better." That earned Savage a humorless, dry bark of laughter from Starscream. The sound made the black and red flyer shiver, the sound was filled with pain and sorrow…
"Better? I will never be better, Savage. My spark aches for my bondmate. It wants to join him, and I'm not sure if I want to..." He rests a hand over his spark and strokes it softly. "However... I am not completely alone. I will survive, if only for them..."
Savage blinked, mouth agape. "You're carrying?"
Starscream nods with a small smile. "Megatron's last gift to me. For the longest time I believed that I was sterile, I'm happy that I was proven wrong."
"With the war over you can raise them without having to worry." Savage comments.
Starscream chuckles. "Megatron always told me that if I ever got pregnant he would lock me in the med bay just to keep me safe."
"Yeah, that sounds like him. However, I'm sure he would immediately end the war so the little ones wouldn't grow up the same way I did." Savage comments.
Starscream's optics were sad, yet he was smiling when he nodded, answering. "Yeah, he would. I'm sure he would. He cared for me, and would have cared just as much for our sparklings."
He let out a small sob, hugging himself, teary optics locking on the little ones floating inside the tank. His spark was aching constantly, as if to remind him of what he lost, and it was weighing heavily on him. "I don't know if I can do that..." He whispered, his voice barely audible. "I don't know... I need him... I don't want his children to grow never knowing him..."
He let out a keening sound, and pressed his forehead to the tank, hands resting on either side, trying to seek comfort from the new life he was carrying. And those inside the tank. Savage didn't know what to say or do, words of comfort would do nothing to relieve the grief stricken seeker right at this moment. He simply stayed silent and by his side as a silent anchor.
Savage pulled Starscream into a tender and comforting hug just as Prime had done to him not that long ago.
Starscream clung to him and quietly sobbed into his chest. He didn't fight when Savage picked him up and carried him over to the bed where they simply held each other, and soon fell asleep in each others arms.
X x X
Optimus quietly enters the med bay sleeping quarters to check on Savage and the twins. He stops upon seeing Starscream sleeping in the bed with Savage, they appeared to be holding each other in a comforting embrace.
He moves closer and smiles a little before placing a gentle hand on the side of Star's face. He always cared a great deal about the lithe seeker however, he chose not to voice his feelings because of what had happened to his bond mate.
'Do not make the same mistake I did, brother. Tell him how you feel, but give him time to grieve and be there for him.' Came a female voice.
Optimus's optics light up at the foreign yet familiar voice in his head. 'I know you. You were the one to help me when I defeated Unicron. You're a Prime, aren't you?
'Yes, I was a Prime, your predecessor. I was known as Silverus Prime. One of the few female Primes ever chosen.' The soft voice answered, and there was a light chuckle. 'Yes, I helped you as your time has not yet come.'
Optimus knew the moment when Silverus left, he was happy that she had spoken to him, despite how brief the conversation had been. He would follow her advice and not push his feelings on the seeker. He would take his time, help him, and show him he cared. Maybe with time, he would win his affection.
X x X
While his mate rested, Dreadwing places a hand on Ratchet's chest, the little one was strong, despite it only being a month since it's conception, the large seeker just knew that his unborn child would be powerful.
He hoped that he was going to have a female, for as long as he could remember he always wanted a daughter. He smiles at the thought of a daughter with its mother's personality and their father's level head.
That would be perfect. He thinks before leaning down and placing a kiss on his chest right over his mate's spark chamber.
Since Megatron's death, he took command of the Decepticons, with Optimus as his co-ruler. The older male was wise, knowledgeable, and a good leader. He admitted that his experience as a leader was lacking, he was grateful for the Prime's guidance.
Dreadwing smirks a little, nuzzling his mate's chest plates as he remembers the way Optimus tries his hardest not to let it show that he was looking longingly at the slim, handsome seeker. Starscream was still grieving though, so he was keeping his distance. He was gentle, supportive, never pushing. Dreadwing knew that Prime wouldn't take advantage of the still grieving seeker.
Ratchet stirs beside him, and his optics shone dimly as he slowly wakens. "Hmm... hello to you too. If you wanted to have another round, you could have just asked."
Dreadwing chuckles before leaning over to nuzzle him, engine purring softly. "I like doing it this way."
Ratchet chuckles at the nuzzle before reaching up and pulling Dreadwing in order to claim his mouth in a fierce kiss, once of which was eagerly returned. He happily welcomes the larger's weight as the seeker straddles his waist with the intention of claiming him once more.
X x X
Optimus pauses on his way back to his sleeping quarters upon hearing crying. His optics narrow in concern as the last time he heard crying, Savage had tried to kill himself. He takes a moment in order to pinpoint the source and finds Starscream in a walk in storage room, curled up in the corner, sobbing into his knees.
Sighing softly, he steps into the storage unit and goes to one knee in front of the seeker. "Starscream. Starscream, look at me."
Sniffling, Starscream lifts his head from his knees, tears streaming down his face and looks brokenly at Optimus. "I can't... I can't do this, Prime. I can't do this alone..."
"You're not alone, Starscream. Everyone on this ship is here to support you." Optimus replies, placing a hand on the side of Starscream's face. "You have your little ones as well."
"I-I just want to feel something other than loneliness and this-this pain." Starscream whimpers, tears streaming down his face.
Eyes softening, Optimus pulls the distraught Seeker into firm, but gentle hug, wrapping his burly arms around his lithe form, ignoring the slight pain of Starscream's claws digging into his arms.
"It will get easier, Starscream. I can't promise it will happen any time soon, but the pain will fade." Optimus soothes, lightly stroking his wings.
"I just want to feel something else..." Starscream whimpers into the broad chest. "Something that isn't loneliness and pain."
Optimus was quiet for a moment before speaking softly. "There's nothing I can do for your pain, but there is something I can do for your loneliness."
He gives a soft grunt as he rises to his feet with the seeker in his arms and carries him out of the storage room and towards the seeker's current quarters as he no longer wished to stay in Megatron's.
Starscream remains silent other than the occasional sniffle, as he allows the Prime to carry him. Upon reaching his current quarters, he gives the Autobot the code to his door before going back to being quiet.
Optimus feels his spark clench at the sight of the usually chatty Seeker being so subdued, he silently reaches the bed room and gently lays the seeker down. He hesitates for a moment before going to lie down beside the seeker, he tenses up a bit when the seeker curls up against him. It takes him a moment to relax before wrapping his burly arms around the seeker, holding him close, resting his chin on the seeker's head.
The seeker's trembling slows then stops all together before falling asleep in the large Autobot's arms…
X x X
Starscream finds himself alone in his quarters, Optimus was nowhere in sight... Did-Did he leave when he fell asleep? He feels panic start to rise when he spots a familiar form sitting by the desk.
"Hello, Starscream."
Tears instantly fill Starscream's eyes as he hears and sees Megatron, he lets out a strangled cry as he scrambles off the bed and all but launches himself into his fallen mate's arms, burying his face in the broad chest.
"I miss you," He sobs. "Gods, I miss you so much, it hurts!"
Megatron simply holds him as he sobs into his chest, tenderly stroking his back and wings while softly purring his engine. Doing what he can to soothe his distraught seeker.
"I-I can't do it! I can't do this alone! Our little ones will... grow without even knowing who their sire is!." He was sobbing so hard he could barely articulate his words.
"Starscream," Megatron's voice was firm but also gentle as he places a hand on his chest, right over his spark. "I'm not gone, nor are you alone. I will be with you through our little ones."
Starscream lifts a hand to press it over Megatron's and squeezes weakly his hand was shaking. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and dripping from the pointy end of his chin like little crystal beads. "You took away a part of my spark with you when you died, my love. Only an aching void remains, it'll never go away..."
Megatron uses his other hand to lift Starscream chin and look him in the optics, smiling sadly but confidently. "Don't be so sure. You never know what the future holds for you, my spark. You may even find love again."
Starscream breaks down again, shaking his head in denial. No one could replace Megatron in his spark, he would focus all his love and energy into his children! He wouldn't need anyone else!
"That's a little selfish, don't you think?" Megatron commented with a small sad smile, gently wiping away the tears with his thumb. "You can't deny yourself another chance at love, you'll never make it otherwise."
"Y-You were my first love..." Starscream whimpers feeling emotionally drained. "N-Nothing can replace that."
"I'm not asking you too, I'm asking you to try and be happy." Megatron states, picking up the lithe seeker. "Not just for you but for the little ones. It's ok to be happy with another."
Starscream sniffles, resting his head on Megatron's chest as he's carried back to the bed. "W-Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"
Megatron's eyes soften as he lies Starscream down on the bed, he joins him on the bed a moment later. "Of course."
He wraps his burly arms around his beloved seeker, holding him close one last time, thanking Primus and the Female Prime for giving him these final moments with his mate.
X x X
Starscream sought out Optimus a few days later, after getting over his most recent meltdown, he had come to the conclusion that he couldn’t do this himself and The Prime seemed to be the safest bet. However, he didn’t want to trap the Autobot, he simply wanted… he wasn’t sure what he wanted if he was being honest with himself.
He sighs softly, unsure how to go about this or even how to bring it up in conversation should he come face to face with Optimus.
Upon entering the command center, he sees Optimus standing next to Dreadwing, they seem to be in deep conversation. Normally, he would simply walk up and make his presence down, however, things were different now, he was no longer the second in command as Dreadwing and Optimus were Co-ruling.
It didn’t take them long to realize that he was there as it was Optimus who spotted who spotted him first, the Autobot said one last thing to Dreadwing before walking towards the smaller seeker.
“Can I speak to you in private?” Starscream asked once Prime was standing within range.
“Of course.” Optimus then gestures for Starscream to lead the way before following after the lithe seeker.
Shit. Shit. SHIT! Starscream was drawing a blank while leading Optimus from the Command Center and towards a more secluded private spot. He hadn’t thought this through, why didn’t he simply wait until he formulated a plan or a conversation piece? DAMNIT!!
When he stopped, he kept his back to Optimus, trying to think of something to say, buy himself time.
Fuck, say something. ANYTHING!!
He took a moment to compose himself before turning around. “Optimus-”
His mind screeched to a halt when said male captured his mouth in a heated kiss, one he eagerly found himself returning. He gave a soft grunt when he was pushed up against a wall, he wrapped his arms around Prime’s neck, mewling softly as he felt the other’s tongue slide across his mouth, requesting permission to enter.
Trembling with desire, he opened his mouth to the other, allowing him inside where they dueled for dominance.
The kiss unexpectedly broke, Optimus apparently realizing what he had just done, took a step back, his eyes widen with shock. His mouth opening and closing as he tries to formulate something to say.
“Optimus?”
He blinks and looks at Starscream, finally finding his voice. “I-I shouldn’t have done that, you-you’re still in mourning.”
He goes to take another step back when Starscream’s hand wraps around his wrist, stopping him. “It’s ok, I liked it.”
Starscream manages to pull Optimus closer, not a difficult task as the Prime, still stunned by his own actions allowed the lithe seeker to pull him in close. He doesn’t pull away when the flyer pulls him closer, claiming his lips with his own in a soft tender kiss.
“It’s OK,” Starscream murmurs into Prime’s mouth. “I want this… I want you.”
That seemed to be the only thing that Optimus needed to hear as he quickly took command of the kiss, once again turning it into a hungry and needy one. Growling softly, he fumbles with the code to the walk-in storage closet before backing the seeker inside and shutting it behind him.
X x X
Months down the Road…
Starscream gasped in, scared and excited that his little ones were coming, he reaches out and grasps Optimus’ hand who happily takes it. He was grateful for his new love’s support, they weren’t bond mates, he wasn’t ready for that, not yet anyway. Optimus seemed alright with it, the seeker knew that Prime was willing to wait for him to be ready to give him his spark.
Optimus smiled softly, gently nuzzling the side of Starscream’s head, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "It’s going to be alright, Starscream. You’re doing great."
“How long as he been in labor?” Knockout asks, approaching the medical berth.
“At least 20 minutes.” Optimus replies.
Due to Ratchet being on medical leave to care for his own, born only a month ago; a precious white and blue with red accents little flier Dreadwing and the Autobot medic had named Destiny, Knockout was the only active medic on the ship.
Starscream gave him a pained smile before quickly noticing something silver by Optimus’ large foot. “You have a follower, Optimus.”
Prime glanced down, his optics softening when he sees that it was Maelstrom, Savage's gentle and affectionate daughter.
"Why hello there, little one." He smiles at the child, standing by his foot.
“Star in pain? Babies coming?” She asks with wide bright blue eyes.
“I swear, she’s too smart for her good.” Starscream gives a pained chuckle.
“She must get it from her mother.” Knockout comments as Optimus bends down to pick up the child.
The medbay doors open a heartbeat later, revealing Savage and Sagaris, the little male clinging to his leg.
"Have you seen Mael-" Savage pauses then smiles when he sees Optimus holding his daughter. "I figured she'd be with you, Optimus. She really likes you."
"That she does," Prime replies. "Where did you find Sagaris?"
"Pestering Hardshell... again."
The twins were as different as night and day, while Maelstrom was even tempered and well behaved, Sagaris was a troublemaker and liked to cause mischief.
"Well, boys will be boys." Screamer said then cried out in pain. "Frag... that hurts..."
From Savage's foot came a tiny voice happily repeated “Frag!”
Savage gave Starscream a look, the seeker simply rolled his eyes before stating his usual sass. “Yeah, I’d like to see you go through it yourself and not drop a few curses.”
"Could you all shut up so I can do my job? This is the med bay, not the rec room!" Then to the seeker he said. "We're almost there. It won't be much longer."
"In that case, I'll take Maelstrom from you, Prime. I'd rather not have my kids become traumatized by seeing Starscream give birth." Savage states as he approaches Optimus.
"Wise decision." Prime replies before giving him his daughter.
“Wanna stay.” Maelstrom protests.
"I know, sweetie. But this is something you shouldn't witness until your older than you are now." Savage tells her.
Maelstrom was crestfallen but didn't press the matter.
Starscream screeched in pain and swore again teaching Sagaris yet another curse word.
Savage leaves the med bay with a sigh, cursing sparkling still clinging to his leg.
X x X
After an hour or so of labor, the sound of crying twins fill the med bay. Starscream is cradling one that was silver and looked like a perfect copy of his Sire, with the same red optics and tiny claws.
"Galvatron... That is your name..." He whispers nuzzling the crying infant. "My little Galvatron..."
Optimus smiles softly, he was holding the other infant, a female that looked like Starscream only with a different color scheme of gold with black accents. “And what of this one?”
Starscream smiles, reaching up to lightly stroke his daughter’s cheek. “Sunstorm. Her name is Sunstorm.”
Optimus leans down and gently kisses Starscream’s forehead. “It’s perfect. Everything is perfect,” He gently takes Galvatron from Starscream, placing the twins in the crib. “Get some rest, Star. I’ll watch over them.”
Starscream smiles softly, drawing Optimus down for a kiss. “Stay with me until then.”
Optimus smiles softly. “Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He joins the seeker on the berth, holding him close and feeling at peace for the first time in years, despite all the hardships and everything they had suffered… everything was as it should be.