Chapter Text
Kiss me on the mouth and set me free
Sing me like a choir
I can be the subject of your dreams
Your sickening desire
Don't you wanna see a man up close
A phoenix in the fire
So kiss me on the mouth and set me free
But please, don't bite
run
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Troye Sivan
It would be days before you even got a whiff of Hux and therefore news of Commander Ren’s release. Which meant..
Hours later, a fresh wave of gossip said he would be leaving tomorrow morning. Information that circulated about Kylo Ren was usually always accurate; everyone wanted to know where he was and the minute he left, false rumors just got hopes up and that wasn’t appreciated-or tolerated-very well.
It’s not like you expected anything.
You repeated this and similar mantras throughout the day, as you worked-the base had an influx of paperwork to be maintained which led to plenty of jobs for plenty of available workers-, as you ate, as you stared out of giant windows the size of an entire building, as you ate more.
You had had a meeting earlier that morning with a hiring specialist about a new position. There were plenty of openings at other bases or, if you wanted to stay, jobs similar and different to your last. You said you would get back to the end of the week may have the answer on her desk by tomorrow at lunch
You stopped to rub your eyes and hopefully get some blood flowing to your brain. You weren’t going to hinge a potentially important career decision on a man. You only had a few more years on your contract so you should be thinking about where you wanted to end up.
A flash of pale, muscular arms resting near your temple, your back resting on soft, cotton-y sheets with his body resting above yours entered your imagination. Okay, okay. That would be nice, too. But they were serving something good tonight for dinner and you weren’t going to let him take that from you. It’s not like the last romp or two didn’t provide plenty of spank bank material.
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Sleep was fitful that night. You had to wake up for the early morning shift so it was more of a nap than anything but the thought of him leaving soon made your heart palpitate at a speed that wasn’t suitable for deep sleep. You looked at the clock and realized you worked in three hours; there wasn’t any point in thinking you would get much more rest. It would be nice to take a walk around the base and eat a slow breakfast.
You pulled your hair into a loose bun and put on the most comfortable outfit you had. Your finger grazed the sturdy wool of his cowl. You were tempted but didn’t exactly want to brazenly wear such a trademark look around. Standard issue jacket would have to do.
You meandered. Wandered. Endless hallways, some busy, some empty for what seemed like a mile or two. Maybe you would stay here. Libraries were plentiful and you had passed by at least half a dozen novelties that Starkiller base didn’t have.
You found yourself once again in a part of the ship with a massively, open view of the space surrounding the ship, face close to the cold glass. The puffs of air coming from your mouth created small spots on the window, disappearing seconds later. A few stars weren’t too far off and if you squinted hard enough you could see a handful of planets in the distance. You imagined all of the lives being lived just in the area that you were currently staring at, much less beyond that and beyond that. You imagined how many options you had; all of the untapped opportunities that were just a decision or two away. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on the few inches separating you from whatever out there that was waiting for you. You just didn’t know it yet.
You turned your back towards whatever it was and walked a few hallways over to the hangar. Ships waiting to take off, others coming in and unloading supplies. The brisk, open air layout had you shivering as you walked towards the cafeteria. At least it was warm here.
The clamor of stomping boots and multiple voices flooded your senses from every direction. You walked faster and right into the hallway opening Kylo Ren was storming down. If looking out into the stars didn’t make you feel small and insignificant then watching the tall form of the Commander advance on you did. You spurred your feet to move forward and they did, fast. You took off running, turning left at the next available opportunity. Sprinting and turning at random, you could hear the sound of his steps echoing in time with the beat of your heart.
All at once, hands grabbed at your body, turning your back towards the wall with a strong arm on either side of you. He lowered his head and you could hear the slight hitch in his breathing as he tried to calm it.
“Do not run from me,” he commanded, stopping most of your body from working in that moment. You nodded your head and shrinked against the wall, knocking your head back and sighing out of exasperation; you had already set your course. Hours before he left was when he felt it necessary to see you? Fuck. That. You slammed your foot down on his, hoping it would make him move away. He finally looked up at you without even a flinch and ran his gloved fingers across your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “Is that how it’s going to be?” He asked.
He stood straight up, looked down the hallway, and grabbed your wrist before pulling you forward and behind him.
“You can’t j-” you stated, trying to pry his hand off with no such luck. He swiped his hand against the wall and opened a door a few feet away from where you were standing. It was mostly empty and probably used for storage but as the door shut behind you, you knew it would serve a better purpose. He barely had time to turn around and goad you with something rude before your hands were working furiously at his pants. You heard the air release from his helmet and then a thunk, still gloved hands cupping your chin and bringing your eyes up to face him. His eyes looked heated in every sense of the word; the warm, lusty hue of them drew you in and that was it.
“I’m sorry,” was all he said before his lips met yours, your bottom one sandwiched in between yours as he sucked it into his hot mouth. You groaned, realizing then that your own fingers would have never made up for the pure, unadulturated bliss you knew was headed your way. Abandoning his pants, you wove your hands through his dark waves and pulled him down to your level, enjoying the way his hands slid down your back and under your shirt. The feel of leather against the sensitive skin of the small of your back made you wild with the desire you had been staving off.
He used your momentary distraction to work your lips with his teeth, nipping them until you were sure they were a deep red. He tugged your lower lip down and ran the tip of his tongue against your bottom teeth, slipping over them and into your mouth before brushing up against your own tongue. The moan you emitted seemed to vibrate across and into his own mouth as he ground his hips into yours. You pulled on his hair, bringing you further in, and then let go to trail light kisses on his face and down his scar, relying purely on memory. You could feel the soft and scarring skin beneath your lips and took extra care to be as gentle as you could be with the intense fire currently growing in between your legs; you imagined how he would look, scars and all, under the fresher with water streaming down his skin. You followed the scar down his neck and over to his shoulder; you traced the wound with one hand, cupping his balls with your other. He grunted, tightening the hold he still had on your waist. You slid down further until you could feel the slight twitches coming from his cock against your nose.
Thankful for the earlier prep work you had done, his pants came undone easily, hanging off his firm but full backside. You blew a breath out from between your rounded lips and felt him jerk away from you before pushing back and bumping into your cheek. You rolled your head slightly to the side and opened your mouth to let him in. There may have been a small to medium size hiss escape between his teeth but he pressed forward, sinking his dick into the warm, wet caverns of your mouth that his tongue simply couldn’t reach. You pulled your tongue back in your mouth and rubbed as much as you could around his head before pushing and twisting it around his shaft. You ran your hands up his legs, grinding your nails into the back of his thighs as your mouth engulfed as much of his cock as it could handle. The choking noise he made echoed in the tiny room, earning a shiver down your spine that you promptly sent back through his own body when you moaned, vibrations from the back of your throat giving him a brief overload of pleasure.
“Fuck, fucking fuck,” he hissed. You slowly slid your mouth off and popped your lips when they let go of his head. You wrapped your fingers around the base of his shaft, running your tongue over it’s entirety and stopping occasionally to suck a few more times on the tip. With your other hand, you snuck your hand down the front of your pants and brushed lightly over your clit. You gasped when an invisible finger began tracing along the soft skin next to your slit, teasing you when it would almost get there but not quite. You inhaled and took him in again, getting closer each and every time to having him completely in your mouth. You moved your tongue against the underside of his shaft, attempting to reach the tip of your tongue further out in search of his balls, hands finishing the job by cupping and palming.
All at once, the extra help spiked upwards and straight into your cunt. Your mouth squeezed into an ‘o’ shape at the full, static-y feeling of The Force working inside of you; you continued fumbling at your clit but you could feel everything coming to a climax once that same, slightly electric force brushed against the puckered entrance of your ass. You worked a furious pace on his shaft, abandoning any thoughts of cleanliness, saliva and precum mixing to create the right amount of slick-
You were hoisted up, back pinned to the wall, and mouth assaulted as your pants were practically ripped down to your ankles and pulled off by the force. One of Kylo’s hands pushed your panties to the side and then he was in. Sturdy arms held you upright but nothing was keeping your mind from soaring as he rammed himself to his hilt, pausing for a second to relish in the heat of your pussy, starved for days. He bent his head to the crook of your neck and moved his lips against the flushed skin there; you couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying but you heard your name peppered in with-
“Fuuuuck,” he groaned, as you flexed your walls, squeezing him and arching your back to line him up with a spot you knew would have you seeing stars within minutes. With more of your neck exposed, he worked his way up right under your earlobe, alternating between sucking the skin there and moaning into your hair. His thrusting adopted a haphazard pace as everything was coming to a climax. Breaths came out erratically, sweat fell and ran onto the other, you wiped your forehead off and went to wipe his with the back of your hand, sliding your fingers into the hair near his temple. You rubbed your clit one last time before his own thrusting hit a much better spot, removing any sort of coherent thought as long as your body was feeling that
He swallowed hard and whispered, “Come with me.”
You could feel him, hard as a rock and trying to hang on until you were there yourself. His mouth came close to yours, lips rubbing at the corner of your own. The tip of his cock thrust once more and sent you falling, spiraling with your eyes closed, anchored by where your body joined with his. His shoulders shook, crying out and bumping his teeth against your chin as he continued to thrust, milking himself with your pliant and trembling core. He continued to lightly kiss the area around your mouth as you slowly came down, soul sliding back into your body as you slid down the wall. Hoping your legs worked by the time your feet hit the floor. You continued sliding, ass hitting the ground and looking up to where his dick should be, contemplating how needy you would look for sticking him back in your mouth. Your emotions bottomed out and dropped at the realization that this was it. An empty feeling took root all over, your body and your brain, taking over for the hurt that was bound to come riding in soon.
“I was serious. Come with me,” he said, with the tiniest bit of pleading seeping in. Ever since his own abandoned emotions had taken up residence in the dark recesses of your mind, you had noticed you could feel his emotions a bit more sincerely, like they were your own but more tentative and just barely a signal you could pick up. You didn’t have to ask to know that he was nervous; that this was either new territory or a new emotion.
You stood up and rearranged your underwear, sweeping your hands over the ground in search for your pants and slid them over your legs.
“Do you have a favorite piece of clothing?” You asked, curious and a little too nervous yourself to acknowledge what he wanted.
“A..what?” He countered
“A favorite piece of clothing. You know, a shirt or pair of pants that you always know how to put on right. You could grab it from a a pile and never have to look at it to know how it goes on. It feels right every single time, the most comfortable thing you could put on. Do you have one?” You ask, fear creeping into your voice as you straightened your back. In hindsight, this probably wasn’t the easiest topic of conversation but you needed something to go off of, something to ease the rollercoasters currently operating in your brain and stomach.
He held his hand out and with a whoosh of air, his helmet landed in his outstretched palm. He slid it on and clicked the buttons that made it stay. You stood there, silent and waiting, thinking of the life this one choice would bring you. You thought of who you would watch him become, who you would become along the way.
“A cowl,” he uttered in a low, mechanical tone. “There’s a cowl I have-had. It felt just a tad softer and had a hole in one of the corners. I always knew I would have a productive day with it on.” You walked past him as he opened the door, beaming at the newly garnered information until the harsh light from outside the closet hit your eyes. You could feel the warmth coming his body as he stepped out and stopped behind you. He started walking towards the hangar but your hand pulled him back. He looked back at you, a small tendril of fear and rejection snaking it’s way into the moment between you two.
“I have to get a few things, if that’s okay,” you asked. While miniscule, the clothes you had on the ship were the only clothes in your possession. Besides, you had a hole-y hood he may be happy to see.