Chapter Text
For the most part, he has successfully kept himself busy to refrain from thinking about the gala. Blake purposely set important meetings with various clients and colleagues today. He answered emails. He also decided to check in with a few departments by going to their respective floors.
There was one person who made sure he wouldn’t miss lunch and would remind him to take short breaks in between, Gwen.
If she was noticing how he timed certain activities to do today, he was grateful she didn’t point it out. But he was more grateful that she still came in for work even if she didn’t have much to do. His nerves would’ve gone overboard if she wasn’t there to ground him even if, today, she probably barely knew that she could be that for him.
“Kelly, I’ll sort the rest. You prepare for the gala.” He finally says after almost completely spacing out. Kelly is in his office to talk about their planning seminar in January.
“You should take some time to prepare too, Sir Blake. This will be held a few weeks after we come back in January, so there’s still time to sort things out,” Kelly smiles, unable to contain her excitement for the gala. She has expressed before how she loves getting to meet people there and, most especially, the charity aspect of it.
It was actually something Shelton Enterprises started, even if they were barely a decade-old company when they did that.
As he remembered that, he offers a small smile to Kelly and lightly nods. “See you at the gala. Drive safe.”
Kelly responded with much enthusiasm before politely leaving his office. He slowly lets his shoulders rise up and down in an attempt to take a deep breath.
The gala officially starts at 6, so a few days ago Blake sent out a memo that their work day ends before lunch, so everyone has enough time to dress up and travel.
The venue this year is not far from their office, but with LA traffic, he doesn’t want to take any chances, despite him being nervous about this.
We’re not the organizers this year, so it’s not as stressful.
What happened in the past is done. We’ve recovered. We’re doing better.
I’m doing better. It’s not perfect, but I’m goddamn trying.
Blake keeps repeating them to himself to redirect his mind. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. It’s in doing this that he takes his chances.
“Blakey?” He tries to suppress his grin with how cute her voice sounds. When he focuses his vision to the door of his office, he finds her peeking in.
He gently motions for her to come in and doesn’t waste any time opening his arms, waiting for her hug.
Thankfully, they always love to touch each other at almost any given occasion. He finds it even more adorable when she scuttles her way into his arms.
Blake immediately melts into her touch before Gwen adjusts to sit on his lap.
“Let’s go eat, then get ready for the gala,” Gwen says after kissing his cheek. “I really liked that suit you picked. I’m so excited to see you wear it!”
Between the two of them, he can confidently say that she’s better at styling and carrying herself regardless of what she wears. At first, he was shocked that she didn’t mind their differences in styling. But as Gwen reassured him later on, it slowly eased away.
“Gimme two minutes,” he murmurs into her hair.
“That’s no different than 12 o'clock.” He can’t directly see it, but he knows she’s pouting.
He almost inaudibly chuckles. Gwen really loves dressing up and fashion in general. At the start of their relationship, he never knew that one person could own so many shoes. And somehow, Gwen can wear all of them and she instinctively knows where to match it.
“You already saw my suit,” he jokingly counterargues.
“Yes, I saw it, but I haven’t seen you wear it.” Touché. “You sometimes don’t know how handsome you are. I really wanna see it.” She pouts to convince him and for a reason he can’t explain and won’t even want to, he always caves when she does that.
Blake leans in for a chaste kiss. She’s too adorable and for that, he’s eternally grateful at the timing she came into his office just now.
“You can’t just kiss yourself out of this.” She pretends to be annoyed. He watches her cross her arms and look at him directly in the eye.
At that, his smile breaks into a laugh. For the first time today, it felt like the tension left his body.
“You’re too adorable, baby.” He murmurs as he wraps his arms around her again.
“One more kiss, then we’re getting ready,” Gwen cutely bargains instead.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replies before fulfilling her request.
–
He feels the frustration starting to mount because he can’t seem to roll up his sleeves just right. It might be the perfectionist in him. But just when he thought he got it, he realizes they either don’t look even, the other side is too crumpled, or one side is too thick and he finds it uncomfortable.
Blake grunts in frustration and pulls down one side again. He’ll probably have to get the dress shirt re-ironed because of how ruffled it looks. He decides to stop it for a bit and focuses on the window of the penthouse.
While it looks like a bird’s eye view of the city, he can see enough to tell how busy it is right now. And with that, he’s grateful for their decision to get ready in the penthouse instead of going to one of their houses and being stuck in traffic.
He and Gwen had been here in the penthouse countless times to know that the bathroom space is big enough for her to get ready.
Blake smiles as the memory of Gwen’s first time here plays in his head. It was about a week before their Oklahoma trip.
“Oh my God. Wow. It’s so beautiful up here,” she evidently swoons as she approaches the window but also hesitates due to her fear of heights.
He knows that the view from his office is one to die for, but there is something about the view from the penthouse that is much more breathtaking.
But now, he observes the woman admiring the view. Her smile. Her excitement. And he knows. It is the most breathtaking image that he wants to drill into in his brain forever.
“Had this done to go somewhere in between breaks, and if I’m not in the mood to drive home,” he sheepishly admits.
“Can’t blame you,” Gwen says as she turns around. Her smile grows even bigger when she smells the pasta cooking in the other room. “Is that?”
Blake nods as he shyly approaches her.
She wastes no time wrapping her arms around him as he kisses her.
He reaches for his pocket, wanting to give her something. “Here,” he mumbles. He hands her a copy of the penthouse key and elevator key. “If you ever want to use it for your downtime.”
Gwen is utterly shocked, but she recovers. She holds his hand containing the keys and looks up at him.
Those brown eyes gazing at him would undoubtedly get him to say yes to anything she’d say. She has no idea yet about how much he’d do for her. And being in his arms right now, it’s got him feeling content. He can’t remember how long it has been since he felt that before her.
“Only if it’s with you.” She finally says.
He slowly nods, trying to prevent himself from grinning like a giddy teenager. He knows he wouldn’t be able to control himself in this room, so he finds her hand and leads her to the kitchen.
The sound of the bathroom door opening brings him back to the present, so Blake just shifts his focus back to his sleeves. He’ll just have to try again with rolling it up.
“Blake, what do you think?”
As he looks up, he watches her come out in this long and sparkly dress. And as soon as he had the time to take in her whole figure, he wishes he has the words to perfectly describe her but beautiful, gorgeous, and breathtaking do not do her justice.
She did her hair down, and even if he has favorite hairstyles of hers, she looks pretty regardless. She gives him a little spin of her look and her hair sways along with it. His eyes widen even more. He sees her all the time in many looks, but somehow, he still remains tongue-tied.
He opens his mouth in an attempt to say something, but all he managed is a hiccup when he inhales and his heart beats faster when he realizes she’s walking towards him.
“You like it?” She tries again and blushes.
“You look…” He finally gets a word out but is also immediately awe-stricken when he eyes her from head-to-toe. “Wow,” he whispers.
“Is it too much?” Gwen sheepishly asks.
He immediately shakes his head then quickly recomposes himself. “You look perfect, pretty girl.” He couldn’t control it as his face broke into a smile. How he managed to get this woman to look at him twice, he doesn’t entirely know. But one thing's for sure, he’s really lucky.
“You’re sweet, cowboy,” she replies, still blushing.
“But you really are,” he tries to make his point, then he notices that she’s fixing his sleeve. He’s about to ask what she’s doing, but then he realizes she’s rolling it up just enough, like what he was attempting to do a while ago.
“You look perfect too,” she says not missing a beat. He feels her kiss him on the cheek but only a light touch. He almost pouts when she beats him to it. “Don’t want the lipstick stain to be too obvious,” she giggles.
“For the record,” he starts, “I’d love your lipstick stain on my cheek for the rest of the night.” And every night after that is what he doesn’t say out loud.
“Smooth,” she jokes. “This okay?” She asks after a short silence, referring to his sleeves. He looks over them to see her handiwork and he’s seriously so impressed how she got it in one try.
“Love ‘em. Been trying to get it right. Thank you, pretty girl.” He gently kisses the top of her head as he stands up, not wanting to mess up her hair.
They work in silence as she helps him put on his suit. He watches Gwen in awe while she straightens out the soft wrinkles of his suit with her palm then fixes the collar.
This is Gwen’s first gala and his first with her. Despite his overwhelming nervousness about it, he temporarily forgets them as he indulges in this moment for as long as it lasts.
Barring anything else, he’s actually excited for her because she can expand her network beyond the company. And she’d get to meet so many talented people like her who also have the same passion for making their client’s dreams come to life.
“You look so handsome, cowboy,” she confidently says while looking into his eyes. “I think I might have to stick by your side for the whole night,” she teases with that smirk.
He doesn’t know how to respond to that and he ends up rubbing the back of his neck as he sheepishly looks at her. “No need to worry about that.” He attempts to return the banter, but it is a little shaky.
That makes him a little conscious and before he could almost spiral, she adjusts his vest just a little and he decides to look into the mirror at the same time as Gwen as she checks out her handiwork.
He appreciates how she kept the suit open, so his vest can be seen in all its glory. He remembers the many times she told him that she loves it when he wears vests.
As if on cue, she speaks again, “Vests really look good on you.” She bites her lip then leans in to kiss him again. God. This woman.
“Will wear ‘em more often for you then.” It’s the best he can come up with because she is really testing his control right now and he shyly smiles.
“I think we need to start walking out of here before we make ourselves late.”
He lightly giggles along with her, remembering all the times they were almost late and really late for work due to a disturbance during the morning. He follows her figure when she looks at herself in the mirror and tucks the loose hair behind her ear before looking back at him.
“Let’s go?” She stretches out her hand and he holds it immediately without hesitation.
He’ll always keep holding her hand, so they won’t ever be separated.
–
“There’s a carpet?” Gwen exclaims in shock as she takes a peek while their car is waiting in line.
“Feels like an actual celebrity event.” He almost whispers his comment especially since he starts to feel a little nervous. “One little good part is you get to keep the photos for memory.”
“We’d have like a picture there together?” She looks back at him in excitement.
He smiles and nods. He’s not ever afraid to be seen with her. In fact, he’s actually looking forward to showing her off and he’s absolutely sure that once they’re in there, they wouldn’t stand a chance against Gwen’s charm.
It’s probably the blinding camera flashes that would make him feel like he’ll trip at any second if he takes one wrong step. And there’s obviously the other thing, the one where he should be starting to get over it, but he is still nervous about too.
“Wait. Who’s gonna take your car? Since we’d be going down to the carpet.”
“They have people ready to park it for you.”
Her disbelief has him chuckling and gets some of the tension leaving his body like it did earlier. “The current organizer always tries to outdo the previous.”
“Not surprising at all,” Gwen comments. “Oh my gosh. It’s our turn.”
“Be right there with you, baby,” he says as he quickly but safely gets out of the car. On cue, the valet quickly confirms his information before he gives a tip and thanks the guy.
He arrives on Gwen’s side just in time and escorts her down. When he realizes it is time to walk, he and Gwen quickly exchange looks before he decides to kiss her on the cheek and offer his arm out for her to hold onto.
The smile that forms on Gwen’s face is entirely worth it for all the nerves he felt days and hours prior.
Gwen standing out the entire walk has him beaming with pride. He knows the photographers are enjoying taking photos of her because of how breathtaking she is.
It’s also a no-brainer that Gwen has made a name for herself in this industry. She may not be the most high-profile designer in their field. But the whole line of clients who visit their office just to get a professional opinion from her is enough proof to solidify her in this field.
It isn’t long until the photographers asked for solo photos of Gwen. His heart almost melted at her hesitation to be away from him and her persistence in not letting him go, but it’s also important to him that she has her moment.
“Baby, I’ll be right here on the side. Don’t worry.” He reassures her. His voice is audible enough for her to hear him, but not too loud that the photographers will hear their conversation. “‘m so proud of you and so grateful you’re here with me.”
“Soak it all in and I’ll be right here.” He nods, hoping to encourage her. “I love you.”
“I love you.” Before he realizes it, she gives him a quick kiss before looking back at the photographers and smiling as they take their photos.
He walks to the side for a bit then watches everyone be in awe of Gwen, including the people behind them in the line. He couldn’t contain his smile because he knew this moment would happen.
As she’s walking back to him, his eyes remain glued to her and it made him further solidify a promise in his mind. He’ll always be by her side, no matter what.
“Ready to go inside?” He whispers as she clings to his arm once again.
The rest of the carpet went by like a blur and so is the walk to their table. Blake encounters lots of familiar faces and he really tries his best to respond to their greetings and quickly introduce Gwen.
He knows there’s an allotted time to later to go around and chat, so at the moment, he’s determined to get them settled down at their table.
Once he sees Kelly and the more familiar faces of the people he works with every day, he subtly takes a breath of relief. If it wasn’t for Gwen holding onto him, he’d probably be so overwhelmed.
When they finally take their seats on the table, the flow of compliments towards Gwen are to be expected. It’s the ones directed to him that catch him off guard.
“Sir Blake, you look great!” One of the managers says after passing by them to take their seat too. There were a few others that probably attempted to talk to him, but he was just nodding and trying his best to smile.
“Looks like everyone agrees with me.” He redirects his attention to Gwen as he watches her scoot closer to him. “I’ve got the most handsome guy with me.”
Again, he doesn’t know how to respond and he probably looks like an idiot who’s blushing, and as Gwen kisses his cheek, he swears that his rational thoughts left him for a second.
The next thing that registers in his brain is Kelly talking to Gwen. “You two look so good together.” It’s what he hears from Kelly and he doesn’t catch what Gwen says in response since Luke pulls him into an ongoing conversation at their table.
“Welcome to the Gala.” The host announces into the microphone, successfully grabbing everyone’s attention. “This year, we proudly call it Elevate.”
As if on cue, the room erupts into an applause.
Well, it’s officially started.
He looks over to Gwen who gently squeezes his arm, probably as her way of telling him that she is okay. He adjusts his chair a bit, so she has a good view of the stage. But when she carefully pulls him closer and feels her lean on him, he feels his heart rate calm down.
She may not know it, but these little things that ground him, it motivates him to regroup and focus at the moment. And with that, he redirects his attention back to the stage.
He knows how these things go. There are awards given out to various firms and individuals throughout the night. It’s definitely nice to see everyone be recognized. He reminds his colleagues that the real reward is the satisfied clients. Nonetheless, he’d be the first to cheer for anyone in the company that gets recognized for the individual awards.
Aside from all the formal stuff, there’s also a little dance that happens towards the end of the program. It depends on the theme, but this year it’s most likely to slow songs.
The main event is actually the auction. Most, if not all, companies donate items that will be auctioned and all proceeds will go to charity like free housing, improvements for various shelters, and scholarships for those aspiring to enter their professions.
As the program is ongoing, they’d sometimes roam around. He takes that opportunity to introduce Gwen to various interior designers, architects, and engineers they’d encounter when they go to the bathroom, when they’d get food, or when someone comes by their table.
Like at the carpet earlier, he watches Gwen win everyone with her charm. Every time someone recognizes her, he beams with pride because they’d be so excited to meet her.
“Gwen, this is Jane Prescott, one of the best architects in Washington.” The woman had stopped by their table and he’s glad that Gwen will get to meet her.
“Oh my gosh. It’s so nice to meet you!” Jane expresses as she and Gwen shook hands. “I’ve been following your work.”
Gwen is still getting used to hearing that part, and he almost swoons at her adorableness. “Oh um, thank you so much. I’m sorry I haven’t really been to Washington as much.”
“Oh, no worries. I started from the ground up and literally got connections here in the south thanks to Mr. Blake Shelton and Shelton Enterprises.”
He doesn’t mind watching their interaction unfold. He has a hunch that these two would be good friends too.
“That’s amazing. I’d love to see your work whenever we’re not stuck here in galas,” Gwen says.
“Please! Now, Blake, hi! What have you been up to?”
He almost doesn’t catch that and thankfully, he recovers in the nick of time. “Am good. Just grateful to be here.”
“Seriously, he’s one of the most humble out here,” Jane replies. He realizes that she’s sort of directing it to Gwen. “That’s rare. Did you know this guy introduced the charity component to the gala? One of the many notable contributions, to be honest. Anyways, I got to go to the pastries. It’s so nice to finally meet you, Gwen! And good to see you, Blake!”
He watches the two women exchange hugs and calling cards. When Jane was out of earshot, Gwen whispers to his ear. “I’m proud of you, cowboy. You know that, right?”
“Thank you, pretty girl.” He kisses her on the forehead and seeks comfort in her presence. “You’re having a good time?”
When he sees her nod, Blake relaxes after that.
The next few bits of the gala passed by like a blur again. He forgot that there are some talks and other event stuff that happen in between, but it was finally time for the auction.
Aside from companies in their industry, they also invite various businessmen and other people who would be interested in auctioning some items or participating in the actual thing.
He isn’t entirely paying attention. “Sold for 100,000 dollars!” It’s the next thing he hears. “Let’s meet our donor. Hi, Sir. What’s your name?”
“Richard.” He recognizes that voice that he immediately focuses on the figure onstage. He might just be imagining things. He hasn’t seen the man in years, but he holds on to the last bit of hope that it isn’t him.
“Richard Shelton.”
Blake freezes at the mention of the name. His heart is now racing and he’s starting to feel the tension mounting on his shoulders. But he does his best to keep a neutral face to hide whatever this feeling was.
Almost as if he’s being watched, he attempts to straighten his back as he slowly swallows the lump that forms in his throat.
“Like Shelton Enterprises?” He almost barely hears, but the disbelief in the host's voice is undeniable.
Suddenly, he feels like he’s short of breath. The way his chest rises and deflates feels a little harsher. I’m okay, right?
He keeps himself still. Afraid that if he moves, something is going to happen, but he also wants to peel his eyes away from the stage yet he can’t do it.
That didn’t seem to help at all as he heard that voice again. “Sort of. It’s a coincidence, but I don’t work there or own anything. Just want to help tonight.”
At that, Blake finally finds the courage to look away. He controls himself to the best of his abilities, not wanting to lose it in front of his coworkers even though they’ve witnessed lots of moments in the office already.
As the memory of his last outburst in the office when the lawyer visited him plays in his head, it takes all of his energy not to elicit a sour expression on his face. That reminder solidifies his willingness not to definitely lose it in front of hundreds of others.
His chest starts to tighten, and now it feels like he can’t breathe. He panics, not knowing how to subtly handle this. His vision isn’t helping him either, like it’s blurring. He can’t see anything clearly. He can’t move. He hopes he’s not drawing any attention.
“Blake?” He recognizes that sweet voice. It was Gwen. He can’t register anything else she’s trying to ask or say or if she’s even doing that. He just tries to remember which side she was sitting on, so he could look that way and search for her hand. Luckily, Gwen doesn’t seem to make it too hard for him because he instantly recognizes her soft palm.
Don’t leave me.
He’s afraid to squeeze it because it might end up being too tight. He doesn’t want to hurt her, but he tries to focus on her palm, holding onto her, and locking his fingers with hers.
I hope you’re still here.
He isn’t focused anymore on what was being auctioned. He hears that name again and only that. He thought he’s making things up but when the word dollars registers, it’s probably another donation. Still, he attempts to block it out.
Blake is determined to get his bearings back, but he develops an extreme confusion when he feels his throat tighten and the tears start welling up in his eyes.
He panics even further because when he thought he’s gaining control, it’s slipping away from him again. He can only hear in patches and his sight isn’t going back to normal. His head spins for a reason he can’t explain and he doesn’t know what’s going on anymore. He can’t make out any other voices aside from the muffled one of the host’s and a feminine “Blake?” which is most likely Gwen’s.
That thought is enough motivation for him, so he has to do something before he completely spirals.
He didn’t intend to, but he ends up squeezing what he hopes to be Gwen’s hands a bit tight and stops moving his head around when he realizes he was moving it. He hopes that he doesn’t look like he’s lost. He doesn’t even know he was doing that in the first place.
Get it together. At that, Blake tries to breathe. His inhale is shaky, but he tries again. He feels a sharp pain and the panic mounts again. Shit.
He recalls that their table is at the side and in the middle, so he reminds himself of the fact that no one is directly paying attention to them. Even if that’s not entirely true, it’s what he tries to emphasize in his brain.
Then, he exhales. Where’s Gwen? It’s still shaky, but he gets by. He squeezes what he believes to be Gwen’s hand again. Baby? And after a few attempts, when he let out the first stable breath, he searches for Gwen’s voice. He wants only that. Pretty girl?
I’m okay. Blake, please get it together.
Inhale. Squeeze. Exhale.
He repeats that process even if it takes a while. But when he clearly hears “It’s okay. You’re okay,” in her tone, he focuses his vision on what could be her blonde hair.
“Hey.” Gwen softly speaks after minutes of silence. Blake almost tears up when he realizes he can finally see her, hear her, and feel her clearly. Hi, baby.
He doesn’t even try to respond because his next inhale gets shaky again. He doesn’t trust his voice.
Blake then looks around. He realizes they’re in the bathroom. He lets his eyes roam around to check for anyone else that could be here, but to his relief, it’s just them.
Gwen seems to read his mind. “I sneaked us out. Don’t worry. I had help from Kelly.”
He believes that. Kelly could yap herself out of anything. It’s honestly some sort of special skill.
He slowly nods to acknowledge Gwen because he doesn’t want her to think that he doesn’t appreciate all she’s doing for him today. It’s everything. He focuses on the hands that are rubbing his arms. She always has cold hands, but he loves feeling them regardless.
Blake doesn’t understand what happened. He must’ve been on autopilot or something because he didn’t know how he got his legs walking and how he got to follow Gwen to the bathroom.
He then gently pulls her in for a hug, carefully nuzzling his nose onto her hair and focusing on the scent of the shampoo she used this morning.
He tries to actively inhale and exhale with normal intervals and looks at various details of the bathroom floor to keep his mind in the present and nowhere else but here.
“‘m sorry.” It’s the first word he speaks since who knows when, but it’s barely a whisper and his voice lightly cracks. At that, he tears up.
“Don’t apologize. It’s okay. You’re okay.” She reassures and his heart momentarily thumped. He then feels his chest tighten.
No. No. No. He becomes aware of his breathing again and wills the tears not to fall down.
He repeats Gwen’s words in hopes of making it more true. “We’re okay.” He swallows roughly after that.
“We’re okay,” he repeats but softer.
Gwen hums. “I’m here. Not going anywhere.”
That’s when he noticed that he’s being swayed. He then nuzzles his face onto Gwen’s shoulder. Then he suddenly becomes conscious and slowly pulls away, afraid that he’s being too clingy.
“No,” she gently says and brings him back closer to her. He almost felt like getting swooped off the floor due to his shock. “I like it when you’re close, when you hold me.”
He replays those words over and over and over to kick out the thought in his brain that he’s being too needy. It proves to be successful when he finally lets himself melt into Gwen’s hold.
Blake exhales again and focuses on letting his shoulders fully relax. He gives himself a few tries before pulling his face away to look at her.
He’s met with her gaze. The sight now clear and, honestly, beautiful. He’d search for those brown eyes anywhere. He’s seen them countless times but marvels in their beauty and the way they capture Gwen’s emotions perfectly.
He knows she’s worried, but there’s a small bit of relief on her face. He has a little idea as to why, but he doesn’t utter a word out. He just keeps holding her, holding onto her.
He doesn’t know when she started it, but she keeps her gaze locked on him and starts actively breathing. Her nod signals him to mimic her and he does so without so much as a question.
After what felt like a few minutes, he feels her cup his cheek. He leans onto her hand, recognizing its softness from when he reached for it a while ago. Thank you, God.
“I’m okay. We’re okay.” He finally murmurs, feeling a little emotional when he realizes she doesn’t let go.
“‘m sorry,” he says again. He promised he’d keep himself in check, but that doesn’t seem to be working out tonight. The evening has barely started.
“I’m not looking for an apology,” Gwen replies. He notices the way her hand slowly climbs up to his hair to caress it. “I just want you to be okay and to be safe with me. You are safe with me.”
For a reason he doesn’t know, he tears up again. That seems to disarm him and it meant everything. Regardless of the circumstances, she’s here and will always be here, as long as he holds onto her.
He doesn’t want to run. He feels scared out of his mind right now, but he won’t ever run.
“‘m so glad you’re here,” he whispers. With a bit of a risk, he kisses the top of her head. When Gwen leans further into his touch, he’s hit with large amounts of relief. “I love you.” He’s at a loss for words at the moment. He hopes she knows how much this means to him.
“I love you.” He feels her shift as she says that. He’s once again met with her gaze. Those eyes locking with his. He keeps his full attention on her and watches as she leans in then gives him the softest kiss.
They stay in each other’s arms for a good while. He hears the clock ticking in the bathroom and he suddenly becomes conscious of how long they’ve been in here.
When another thought hits him, he also speaks it out loud on reflex.
“We have to go back out,” he says a bit worried.
“No pressure. The auction is still ongoing. The people’s attention will be on that,” Gwen reassures, using one of her hands to lock with his.
He doesn’t know how else to express his gratitude for her patience, so he brings their intertwined fingers near his mouth and lands a soft kiss on Gwen’s hand.
“We’ll stand here until you want to and you’re ready to go back out,” Gwen says, emphasizing that he has full control of this moment. He doesn’t know what to do with that information, and his brain momentarily forgets what to do.
“We can also go home,” Gwen presents softly.
Blake instantly shakes his head, not even thinking about it. “No. It’s okay.” Even he surprised himself that he got to utter that out with conviction.
“I want you to enjoy this gala I promise.” His tone sort of falters and he does his best to ignore it. “There’s so many opportunities for you to network here. I want you to have that.”
And it’s true. He doesn’t want to ruin this for her. He already feels insurmountable amounts of guilt that he can’t keep it together. He literally promised her yesterday.
“Blake, you’ve given me so much already just by being here and being so supportive of me.” He feels her cup his cheeks with both of her hands. He keeps his focus on her and continues to breathe slowly to hopefully keep himself calm.
Before she could speak anything else, he beats her to it. “I’ll do my best to be okay.”
It doesn’t sound promising compared to how he was earlier this evening, but he at least owes it to her to try.
“You don’t owe anyone that, even me,” Gwen says firmly. The determination in her tone convinces his brain enough to shut off and listen. “As long as you talk to me, that’s all that matters. Use me. Hold onto me. I got you like you’ve got me.”
He nods, trying to take in her words.
“That means the world to me,” he responds softly after a few moments of silence.
He knows the importance of saying it. He knows Gwen doesn’t obligate him to reassure her, but this has saved him so many times. She deserves to know that her presence is always wanted and that her love is and will always be appreciated.
It’s not easy being there for someone, especially given his history of screwing up with her, so he doesn’t take her efforts lightly.
He lets their love bind them together, hoping that the foundations that they’re trying to build so far suffice to remind them that they’ll get through anything as long as they’re together.
“I’m ready,” he nervously says, trying to convince himself.
“I’ll be right here. We’re right here.” Gwen emphasizes, as if it’s not only her but his peers at work have his back too.
He kisses her on the forehead one more time before mustering the courage to walk back out.