Work Text:
I wanna know know know know
What is love?
Right after Kageyama Tobio turned nineteen years old, his childhood best friend, Kiyoko Shimizu, decided it was time for him to find someone who could put up with him, so he could stop ruining her dates with her girlfriend Hitoka Yachi. She tried organizing double dates with some friends from work, but Kageyama's know-it-all, sarcastic and nerdy personality only seemed to scare everyone away (Really, who asks in the first date what the other's opinion on aliens is? Well, apparently, Kageyama did).
But she kept on trying, because she knew Kageyama deserved someone great, that made him laugh like there was no tomorrow and, most importantly, understood his weird conversation topics (and she really wanted some time alone with her girlfriend) and, found a dating app called What-Is-Love for people with low flirting and people skills, which was perfect for Tobio!
"It's not going to happen," those were Tobio's exact words when Kiyoko, excited and jumpy, showed the app she downloaded in his phone while he was taking a shower. The boy was in his bed, wearing his pajamas, with a magazine on his hands, not even looking at her, pretending he wasn't doing one of those quizzes about his ideal type. "Delete that."
"Come on, Tobio!" She pouted and jumped next to him, making Kageyama stare. He rolled his eyes and kept on doing his quiz, answering the question about his favorite color. Kiyoko pinched his arm, and Kageyama looked at her, knowing she would end up punching him if he didn't give her attention. "Just for some days! It can't be that bad!"
"Fine," Tobio mumbled, annoyed, taking his phone out of her hands. Kiyoko smiled. Tobio stared at the screen and clicked on the app.
His screen turned pink as the words 'What Is Love?' and many white hearts popped in. Tobio rolled his eyes, but trying to make Kiyoko happy after ruining her dates, he clicked on the option: 'JOIN' and started creating his account. He entered his email, location, age and created a username. After less than five minutes, the user cafesyama was online.
"Ok, what do I do know?" Kagyema asked staring at his new profile page. With no profile picture or bio written, it looked odd, so he decided to edit it and answer the questions the app was making.
Kiyoko smiled as she knew he would end up being popular in that app, after all, Kageyama was really attractive, he was tall, with beautiful raven hair and had insanely beautiful icy blue eyes. She analyzed Tobio's answers because he looked really confident with that grin, and when Tobio made that face, things didn't usually end up well.
cafesyama, 19
tokyo, jp
likes: pop music, books, animals and movies
dislikes: people and bad movie adaptations
ideal type: someone with a dog I can steal
bio: I'm just here because my friend forced me to.. send help
"Did you really have to include people?" Kiyoko asked, not surprised at all, as she read his profile with a resting bitch face, feeling like he would never have a boyfriend or girlfriend like that. Her best friend really was a hopeless case.
"Well, of course!" Kageyama smiled, crossing his arms, taking his phone again, waiting for something. "I am being honest, and if someone texts me after that, I'll be surprised." He said, proudly. Kiyoko really wanted to punch him in the face. "Now, let's watch Love, Simon, please."
Kageyama opened his computer and started to look for the movie, singing one of his trashy pop songs, Kiyoko, whatsoever, was starting to think of another plan because she knew this one would fail just like the other ones. The two of them layed down and no matter how much Shimizu wanted to concentrate on the movie, her mind wandered over several other ideas. She had already tried everything and Tobio ruined every single date he went on.
Shimizu remembered one day when thought she'd found the perfect boy for him; he was shy but liked the same things as her best friend. So she arranged the date at his favorite restaurant, and she was sure that kid was going to steal Kageyama's heart, but when Tobio came back from the date thirty minutes after it started, she asked if something had happened. And Kageyama simply replied that the boy was a Captain America fan, so he grabbed his stuff and left.
The movie wasn't even in the middle when Kageyama's phone buzzed. Kageyama had never been more scared of the Naruto opening. They both startled and Tobio paused the movie, reaching for his phone. He had a new notification from the stupid dating app What-Is-Love.
"Someone followed me and liked my profile." Kageyama made an annoyed face and Shimizu smiled, wanting to start doing her victory dance, but knowing it was too soon, she ended up only glancing at the screen, over his shoulder.
"Who?" She asked curiously and Tobio unlocked his phone, clicking on the app, looking at his notifications. "Oh, look, he is cute..."
* kirtsmith liked your profile!
* kirtsmith just followed you!
Feeling curious (and a little bit challenged), Kageyama clicked on the profile. He was cute, but Tobio didn't see anything special about him. He was about to ignore that guy completely when he received a private message from that guy.
kirtsmith: hi babe, you look very good on your profile picture
"Answer him!" Shimizu said, slapping his back, smiling. Tobio rolled his eyes and started typing 'naturally'. Kiyoko was reading. "Don't be a dick!" She warned, and Tobio deleted his message and answered with a simple:
cafesyama: thanks
kirtsmith: where do you live?
"Didn't he read my profile?" Kageyama exclaimed, frustrated and rolled his eyes as Kiyoko laughed.
cafesyama: japan
kirtsmith: oh i'm from canada, too bad :/ i really wanted to see your baby face
cafesyama: well I certainly didn't want to see yours
"KAGEYAMA!" Kiyoko yelled and restrained her laughter, trying to pretend she was mad at him. "He is flirting with you."
"And I can obviously see that, Kiyoko." Tobio continued to look at the screen, wanting to see how that guy would answer to that. "I am not stupid!" Shimizu glared and Kageyama pouted. "Okay, I am not that stupid."
kirtsmith: can you send pics?
cafesyama: what? what kind of pictures?
kirtsmith: like this [ image attached ]
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Kiyoko yelled, eyes wide and Kageyama tossed the phone away, shaking, as he kept screaming. "Kageyama, oh my god!"
"A PENIS! I really didn't want to see a penis, especially a small one, Shimizu! What the fuck?!" Tobio blushed and refused to look for his phone, covering his face. Kiyoko laughed and grabbed the phone at the edge of the bed. "Kiyoko, block that man!"
Later that night, after Kiyoko was gone, Kageyama was laying on his bed, bored, checking his phone for any new notification. His long list of friends, Shimizu and Yachi, apparently were too busy to text him or to just send him memes, so he ended up clicking on the stupid dating app, answering questions the app was making so as to find his perfect match.
- ANSWER THE QUESTIONS BELLOW -
We'll show you profiles that match your description.
Your ideal type...
Loves a good party? - (x) Never ( ) Rarely ( )Sometimes ( ) Usually ( ) Always
Likes to talk about feelings and emotions? - ( ) Never (x) Rarely ( )Sometimes ( ) Usually ( ) Always
Is a social butterfly? - (x) Yes ( ) No
Has many friends? - ( ) Yes (x) No
Smokes? - ( ) Yes (x) No
Has pets? - (x) Yes ( ) No
Likes movies and books? - (x) Yes ( ) No
Do you...
Believe in soulmates? - ( ) Yes (x) No
Believe in true love? - ( ) Yes (x) No
Kageyama waited for his results and started to check the profiles the dating app decided to show him. After three terrible profiles who didn't attract him at all, he was starting to lose hope and was ready to delete the app, he stumbled across a profile in which the first thing he saw was brown.
Big brown eyes. He clicked on the photo, having the opportunity to analyze the face of the prettiest boy he had ever seen. He had an untidy vivid-orange hair and was using the ugliest Christmas-like-sweater ever and wearing round-rimmed glasses.
The boy was smiling while holding a petite brown dog. He looked really warm and soft. Tobio's heart started to do a funny dance inside his chest; he really wanted to steal that dog. And he also wanted more pictures, so he rolled down the screen, reading the boy's profile.
https-sun, 18
osaka, jp
likes: animals, star wars, pokémon and tea
dislikes: parties, people, social interactions
ideal type: someone who likes memes and dogs, please
bio: please ask who is my favorite pokémon and I might find you worth a try
Kageyama immediately liked his profile and followed him, and kept on stalking him. Apparently, that app was a combination of Twitter and Instagram, because the sun boy had a lot of posts. Kageyama laughed at many of them, as he was just talking about his everyday life.
[02:21]: https-sun: so I lost my dear friend kenma today :(
*(reply - 02:42) : kenmazing: quit telling everyone I'm dead @https-sun
*(reply - 02:43): https-sun: @kenmazing sometimes I can still see his posts
The little notification bell had now number two over it, in a red color, gaining his attention. Kageyama was not really interested to see his new followers but clicked on the bell anyways. He almost screamed when he saw the notifications that made his night a lot better.
* https-sun liked your profile!
* https-sun just followed you!
A white box appeared as a lot of heart popped on the screen.
'A match! You and https-sun are now mutuals followers! How about you send him a message?'
( ) Cancel (x) Ok
Two other notifications, but only one actually mattered.
* https-sun sent you a wink!
Kageyama ignored and started to play hard to get, as something inside him was waking up. He took a quick selfie of his face winking and decided to upload the picture, with the caption 'wink'. Tobio squatted on the bed, biting his lips, feeling anxious, tapping on his leg. His other followers liked his picture, and in the middle of all the users, he found https-sun as the first one to like it. Kageyama let out a giggle, just like a child.
Another important notification.
* https-sun just uploaded a new picture!
Kageyama eagerly clicked on his profile, looking for the picture. And he almost screamed when he found it. The sun boy was laying down, on a bed, obviously, wearing a red shit, with no glasses this time winking as well. His little smile made Tobio sigh like a highschool girl. The caption was 'winks back'.
He decided it was time to ask for help.
from: trash can tobio
- help I'm webflirting with a guy who likes pokemon
from: princess kiyoko
- well that's very Japanese of him
from: trash can tobio
- can you help me? he just webwinked at me! what do I do?
from: princess kiyoko
- you're so socially awkward, it socially hurts me
from: trash can tobio
- am I really going to have to ask yachi for help?
from: princess kiyoko
- talk to him, stupid idiot
from: trash can tobio
- thanks for your brilliant advice. I want him to talk to me first, I'm playing hard to get stupid
from: princess kiyoko
- you're in no position to play hard to get, you dumb reptile
Kageyama laughed and decided to ignore Kiyoko's last message, going back to What-Is-Love. This time, he decided to write a post, really hoping sun boy was still awake and was going to see it.
[03:23]: cafesyama: am I really webflirting?
*https-sun replied to your post!
(reply - 03:25): https-sun: yes you are @cafesyama
from: trash can tobio
- he just replied to my post kiYOKO IS THIS WHAT BEING SOCIAL IS LIKE?
from: princess kiyoko
- yes tobio, I'm so proud of you
from: trash can tobio
- SHUT UPSHFDJSFJS
Kiyoko did shut up, and Kageyama went back to the dating app he was starting to like. He clicked on tea boy's profile, seeing his new post, about 'when you're webflirting with someone and that person vanishes', with a disintegration meme. Tobio liked the post and gathering all his courage, he sent a message to https-sun.
cafesyama: did you really use the infinity war disintegration meme? i am disappointed
https-sun: fight me that is the movie of the century
cafesyama: i am unfollowing you right now
https-sun: do it lol
cafesyama: i cant you're too cute :(
https-sun: i know
https-sun: so I hope you know I'm not letting you steal my dog
cafesyama: what about your heart, though?
https-sun: if I had one, maybe
cafesyama: miss me with that emo shit
https-sun: so yama want to play the questions game?
cafesyama: sure, sun. you start
https-sun: favorite color?
cafesyama: orange. yours?
https-sun: black
cafesyama: like my coffee
https-sun: more like my soul
cafesyama: can you stop fskfksjfs
cafesyama: what's your dog's name?
https-sun: nishinoya. do you have pets?
cafesyachi: no, my parents don't like animals (or people in general) I had a fish when I was little though, his name was tanaka. my father killed him
https-sun: childhood trauma
cafesyama: exactly lol what's your favorite pokémon?
https-sun: m-my heart... it's yours now!! its arceus
cafesyama: I only know pikachu
https-sun: i am blocking you if you ever repeat that next to me
https-sun: what is your favorite genre of book or movie?
cafesyama: ...romantic comedies
https-sun: ... same
cafesyama: REALLY?
https-sun: yes
And that's how Kageyama spent his night, sending messages to sun boy with a big smile on his face.
"Why are you so grumpy today?" asked Kiyoko in a playful way, as Kageyama kept glaring at his phone. They were in a coffee shop, after spending hours looking for books and mangas at the bookstore. His best friend was obviously in a good mood, she bought three new books and, apparently, her girlfriend was coming to visit her tomorrow. Kageyama, on the other hand, was grumpy because he didn't have enough money to buy the next book of the series he was reading and, https-sun hasn't texted yet. "Why don't you text your online crush?"
"Because," Kageyama mumbled, crossing his arms, exasperated, after biting his chocolate cupcake. "What if he is busy? I don't want to annoy him. I'm waiting for him to text me."
Kiyoko looked up from her book with an expression of disbelief. She sighed, and set the book down, resting her face in her hands, looking at Kageyama as if he were a dumb two-year-old.
"Tobio, sweetie, what if he thinks you're busy?"
"I'm not busy!" Kageyama countered as if the idea of him being busy was absurd.
"He doesn't know that." Kiyoko softly replied, opening her book again, enjoy what she was reading.
Kageyama looked down at his phone, and unlocked it, clicking on What-Is-Love, and sending a quick text before he chickened out. Biting his bottom lip, he felt his heart raising, feeling stupid as he waited for more than a minute. He was about to lock the cell phone again, feeling his cheeks warm up, as it vibrated on his hand, signalizing an answer.
cafesyama: hey, are you busy?
https-sun: nope :)
"Yes!" He jumped on his seat, knowing Kiyoko just sent him a glare. Kageyama started typing "oh, cool" when another text from the redhead made his heart almost jump out of his body.
https-sun: did you sleep well, cutie?
cafesyama: yeah. how about you?
https-sun: I had a dream I was break dancing to the high school musical soundtrack
cafesyama: do you always have dreams like that?
https-sun: would you think I'm weird if I say yes?
cafesyama: a little bit
https-sun: then no. what are you doing?
cafesyama: eating a cupcake
cafesyama: you?
https-sun: I'm watching my friends play just dance, while I feel the shame of losing
"Oh, look!" Kiyoko said, a little bit louder than usual. She was blushing. "So cute!" She turned her phone so Kageyama could see what she was talking about. It was a video of her girlfriend, Yachi, playing Just Dance with a tall blonde boy with glasses. "She is so terrible at it, it's adorable!"
cafesyama: don't feel bad, I can't dance either
https-sun: finally someone understands my pain
cafesyama: just dance is my nightmare
https-sun: my nightmare are those caramelized chicken wings
cafesyama: ewwwwww
https-sun: ikr disgusting
After almost thirty minutes talking, https-sun had to leave, because his mom asked him to help his younger sister with her homework. Also, Kiyoko paid the bills and drove him home, where he stayed watching Marvel movies until six pm. Kageyama was ready to go to bed and sleep for hours when someone texted him.
https-sun: who are you?
cafesyama: uh... what?
https-sun: who. are. you?
Well, that's weird. Kageyama thought as he continued to text back, his eyebrows frowned.
cafesyama: is this my cute virtual friend?
https-sun: no this is patrick
https-sun: lol my name is kenma, I'm shouyo's boyfriend
cafesyama: excuse me?
Kageyama felt a sting in his heart. He tried to lock his phone and go to bed, but he couldn't, his eyes fixed on the word "boyfriend". No, that was a joke, right?
https-sun: you know what boyfriend mean, right? so yeah what's your name?
cafesyama: ... tobio
https-sun: so tobio, be nice to shouyo, alright?
cafesyama: .. I will, don't worry
So, Kageyama Tobio went to bed, ignoring the following messages that he received, feeling sad and stupid.
Hinata Shouyo woke up to the sound of Ariana Grande's songs blasting in the next room. He knew his best friend, Sugawara, was a big fan, but, come on, it was Saturday morning! The least he could do was to put his headphones. Hinata got up from the bed, still very tired, wanting to go back to sleep, and reached for his glasses on the bedside table. He tried to straighten his hair, using his hands, but only ended up messing it up even more.
He heard his cell phone ring, the opening of Pokémon blasting even higher than Suga's trashy pop music, and he ran to find it among the blankets and pillows. Once he found it, Hinata used his digitals to unlock the phone, seeing that he had four new messages: two from Kenma, one from Daichi and the other one from cafesyama, the boy he met in the stupid dating app Suga made him download.
from: kenma luvs pussy
- you know hinata when I said meet me at 10, I meant 10AM
from: Pokeball maniac
- uh sorry???? I'm coming, just wait for me
from: kenma luvs pussy
- you're lucky kuroo is cute
Hinata rushed to look for some nice clothes but ended up choosing the sweatshirt he used yesterday, some black jeans and red sneakers. He hid his vivid-orange hair with the hood and left home with only five pounds in his pocket. Hinata could only hope Suga wouldn't be mad at him for just disappearing.
When Kenma saw Hinata running towards her table in Kuroo's Bakery, the first thing he did was raise his middle finger at him, with his signature sarcastic smile. Tired of running, Hinata sat down in front of his friend, who was now on the phone, carefully taking a picture of the baker, Kuroo Tetsurou, his supreme crush.
"So, Suga told me you spent the whole night giggling, were you drunk?" Asked Kenma, pretending he didn't just took a picture of Kuroo, not even trying to be discrete. Hinata shook his head, not being able to restrain his smile. "What's his name, then?"
"Why are you assuming it's a boy?" Yelled Hinata. Kenma glared, his cat-like eyes making their way into Hinata's soul, and the redhead blushed. "I don't know his name."
"What?" Kenma asked, not believing. "How come you don't know his name?"
"I only know his username." He explained, feeling stupid at Kenma's 'you're so stupid' face. "I forgot to ask, because he was so nice, and also so cute. He has this beautiful blue eyes, and wow, I saw his picture and my heart was just KAPUM WOOSH BOOM BOOM PANG!"
"You're insane," Kenma replied, with a soft smile on his face. It was good to see Hinata like that, as he's a wonderful kid who deserved nothing but the best of the best. "Ask him, now." Kenma slithered close to Hinata, as the redhead unlocked his phone and texted cafesyama. "Oh, he is Japanese?"
"Yeah, thank God," said Hinata, happily. Kenma also smiled a bit, watching his friend type, pretending he didn't talk to 'Tobio' yesterday. He noticed Hinata was typing faster than usual, so, he was anxious. "He must be sleeping... Oh-oh, he replied!"
https-sun: what's your name?
cafesyama: good morning to you too, shouyo
https-sun: oh.. sorry :/ good morning
https-sun: wait how do you know my first name?
https-sun: are you a stalker?
cafesyama: read the other messages, stupid
https-sun: ok
"KENMA!" Hinata yelled, punching his petite friend on his shoulder. Kenma laughed, like the little piece of shit he was. "When did you get my phone?"
"When you were talking to your mom," Kenma replied, smugly.
https-sun: OH SHIT
https-sun: kenma took over my phone while I was talking to my mom
cafesyama: I noticed, I was there remember?
https-sun: don't be like that >:( sorry that must have been weird
cafesyama: its okay
https-sun: so your name is tobio?
cafesyama: kageyama tobio. yours?
https-sun: hinata shouyo
cafesyama: wait your name is quite familiar
"Weird," Kenma whispered, getting even closer to see what Hinata was typing after he was punched. "You have never met him, right?"
"Never," Hinata replied. "But his name is also familiar, but I can't put my finger on where I heard it."
cafesyama: OHHH do you know a girl named hitoka?
https-sun: ohhh, that's yachi-chan. she's my friend
cafesyama: I'm her girlfriend's friend
https-sun: w-wait you know goddess kiyoko shimizu??? wooow, she's so pretty
cafesyama: yeah yeah she's my best friend
https-sun: that's a really small world, isn't it?!
cafesyama: yes it is :)
https-sun: oh now I remember. yachi told me you were a lonely boy and that kiyoko was trying to find someone to date you... she said it didn't work lol
cafesyama: shut upfsdjsk it did work, actually
https-sun: I beg you pardon? you have someone?!
cafesyama: no, not yet, but I found someone
https-sun: oh... I see
https-sun: so.. uh... kenma is not my boyfriend
cafesyama: oh.....
https-sun: were you jealous? ;)
cafesyama: shut up, hinata boke
https-sun: soo, not jealous kageyama, want to video call me tomorrow?
cafesyama: yeah sure
Unfortunately, Kageyama remembered he had to go on a trip with his relatives when he planned to talk to Hinata all day long. Even though he was 19, his parents still treated him as a young child, and didn't take his opinion on the matter, forcing him to go to Osaka, with his three annoying cousins and aunt that didn't like him that much. So, knowing he would look rude if he stopped talking to the sun boy since they were exchanging texts every single day, he decided to text him about the situation, but, sun boy was faster at typing.
https-sun: good morning! I hope I didn't wake you up ♡
cafesyama: good morning!! you didn't, my mom did, actually
https-sun: you were in my dream lol
cafesyama: really? what did you dream about?
https-sun: I was in tokyo with my friends, and you were guiding us around, wearing those idol shiny clothes. it was so funny
cafesyama: didnt I tell you I'm hatsune miku?
https-sun: shut upnfskjfds
cafesyama: why tokyo?
https-sun: you live in tokyo, right? unless you're lying about your location
cafesyama: no no, I'm not lying, born and raised in tokyo
https-sun: ohh, it must be amazing. I'm from osaka
cafesyama: w..wait osaka?!
https-sun: yeah
cafesyama: I'm going to osaka today
https-sun: REALLY???
cafesyama: yes, my mom forced me to go on a trip with my relatives
https-sun: woooow, so I guess we'll see each other around?
cafesyama: I hope so
https-sun: me too ♡
cafesyama: I have to go, my aunt is here. talk to you in six hours
https-sun: bye kageyama ♡
cafesyama: bye boke
He had to endure almost seven hours (due to problems with the engine of the car), by listening to the same playlist almost ten times, while being annoyed by his younger cousins. His aunt was mad at him and was always yelling about how he should be nicer to his cousins when he had literally done nothing wrong. When he finally got to the hotel and connected to the wifi, he received many texts.
from: small yachi
- kageyama, kiyoko told me you're in osaka
from: kaGAYama tobio
- oh yeah. I just arrived at the hotel
from: small yachi
- if you want to, I can show you around
from: kaGAYama tobio
- i'm really tired
from: small yachi
[image atached]
Yachi sent him a selfie. Kageyama, laying down at his hotel bed, almost screamed when he saw tiny and cute Yachi and the cutest being in the entire universe, Hinata Shouyo, https-sun himself, smiling, with red cheeks, wearing a black hood and using his Harry Potter-like glasses. Kageyama almost had a heart attack and quickly texted Yachi.
from: small yachi
- so, are you coming?
from: kaGAYama tobio
- that was a cheap move, yachi
from: small yachi
- it isnt yachi here, bakayama
from: kaGAYama tobio
- HINATA????
from: small yachi
- no, this is patrick
from: kaGAYama tobio
- oh.. hi kenma
from: small yachi
- its not kenma wtf my name is kuroo I'm kenma's not official boyfriend
from: kaGAYama tobio
- uh... hi... can you give the phone to hinata or yachi, please?
from: small yachi
- nah. just come with yachi, kageyama.
- yachi and kenma are almost there to pick you up.
- hinata is almost exploding
Kageyama told his annoying aunt he was going to buy some things at the center, but he actually entered Yachi's car, and she drove them around town, showing him places. Kageyama didn't pay much attention to what Yachi was saying, anxious to meet Hinata Shouyo, feeling Kenma staring at the back of his head from the back seat. Tobio texted his aunt, saying he bumped with a friend and they were together, so she wouldn't worry and call his mother. Yachi took him to eat a burger and to her home.
She was first one to get inside, followed by Kenma, who yelled. "SHOUYO, YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE!", making an orange blur run from the living room towards him. Kageyama's heart did twenty flips in a period of two seconds. He stared at Hinata's big brown eyes and smile, feeling his cheeks burn. Shouyo smiled and Tobio knew he was going to die by the end of the day.
"Kenma, I don't feel so good," Hinata said, pretending to be sad, and failing due to the big smile on his face. He was so small and adorable, Tobio was feeling a sick will to hug him.
"Did you really use the Infinity War disintegration meme?" Asked Kageyama, crossing his arms, making Hinata's smile grow even bigger. "I'm disappointed."
"So, I hope you know I'm not letting you steal my dog," Hinata mumbled, stepping closer to Kageyama, who started shaking. Their eyes were locked together and Tobio really wanted to touch Hinata's face, just to make sure he was real.
"What about your heart?" Tobio asked, getting closer to him as well. Hinata smiled even more if that was possible and Kageyama smiled as well, feeling his heart shake as the boy replied, softly.
"Maybe, you can have it."