Chapter Text
Unknown Regions
21 years ago
“I SWEAR I DIDN’T KILL HIM.”
That’s what he said. What he wanted to say, however, was that even though he did not kill Pryde’s first and only son, he wished — with every fiber in his being — he did. He also wanted to tell him who was the real murderer, but the teenager boy knew better than that.
Armitage Hux bit his bottom lip, instead. And braced himself for another painfully vigorous jolt.
Across the room, Brendol Hux stood still. With his arms placed behind his back, fingers probably entwined, he watched as his own flesh and blood went through a series of strong and successive shocks and aftershocks in the torture chair with a neutral expression.
…or as far as any other could tell, a nonchalant expression that denounced nothing of the mirth he felt.
Because Armitage would bet his life on the assumption of how much his father rejoiced in his suffering.
As for himself, the boy never thought that he would first be put in that torture chair if not in a controlled environment and for one of the tests all cadets had to undergo to ensure their loyalty to the First Order. And to think that was exactly because of that said loyalty that he was now strapped to that kriffing equipment, body trembling under a series of jolts that seemed on verging of ripping his soul from his flesh.
With nose bleeding, teeth chattering and frail form convulsing, he felt his brain turn into mush while he chanted — like the coward he was — he was not at fault.
I didn’t kill him.
Armitage had no motive whatsoever to kill the boy. He may have been Pryde’s son, and as such a torn in his side, but he was not about to kill just anyone who looked at him the wrong way.
I didn’t kill him.
Armitage knew who killed him. He could tell him if he just…
…just let him go.
I didn’t kill him.
Armitage had just killed one person. In his entire life — which was just the blink of an eye if compared to the years of his father and Pryde and Rae and so many others he knew — he had just killed that one boy who offended his mother.
But this time… this time he did not do it.
Please, I didn’t kill him.
Armitage would admit it if he did.
Armitage was just a child and he did not kill him.
Pryde held the remote control between his hands, setting it into a ridiculous high level that would have his friend’s bastard son killed as quickly as his own boy that had been killed in a cowardly and dismissive fashion.
Armitage did not kill the boy.
He would make sure that he never killed anyone in his life by using such underhanded ways. To get rid of someone with the bite of an Arkanis wasp was spineless beyond reason.
Enric Pryde said nothing — he asked no questions — as he watched the boy convulsing… bluish eyes rolling on the back of his head… tears streaming down his pale and hollowed cheeks… teeth chattering so loud, the sound ripped through his ears… which bled. A deep, thick and viscous line that merged with the pool of blood in his hands as he pressed his nails against his palms.
Please, I-I…
He did not know if the words came out of his lips or if they only remained in his head as the door swung open forcefully and Rae Sloane stepped inside, flunked by several offices and stormtroopers alike. She motioned for one of her subordinates to get the remote control from Pryde’s hand and stop that — whatever that was, because it would obviously be kept off the books — at once.
“On my office, General Pryde. Now.”
Brendol Hux stepped between her and the door. Hands behind his back, he inclined over her and whispered into her ear, “This has got nothing to do with you.”
Rae Sloane inclined her head to look him in the eye, unfazed by his threatening stance. She could not say she expected such behavior, but she was used to deal with men like him. And even more used to crush said men beneath her heel.
“Step aside, General Hux. You’re overstepping your boundaries.”
She glanced at Armitage through the gap in his father’s arm and narrowed her dark eyes as the officer removed him from the torture chair and hauled the teenager over his shoulder to guide him to the med-bay.
Brendol Hux tilted his head lightly as the officer passed by their side. Armitage outstretched his hand, but with a twitch, his arm fell limply to his side.
The words got stuck in his throat and he never got to say what he wanted before everything went dark.
I didn’t kill him, Rae. I swear. If you want, I will apologize this time.
***
Armitage Hux had left you in the hotel room for the maker’s know how many hours now. And ever since he left, even though he left instruction on how to proceed with the deal to be set with Daniel Vekkarr, you did not leave the place.
Sitting on the bed, with your legs close to your chest and your face buried on your feet, you could not help but ask yourself what went wrong.
And what you did wrong.
Because you must have done something so terribly wrong and horrific in one of your past lives to deserve a life as pitiful as this one.
Do you know the things he’s done?
You knew.
And you wish you did not.
Because knowing only made everything so difficult and so confusing and so… despairing that you did not know how to deal with it. Objectively, you knew what you had to do, but you could only look at your hands and think that not a while ago they held a man whose hands had taken billions of lives.
A man who in spite of everything did not feel remorse at all.
Do you regret it, Armitage?
You did not know what you expected.
You did knot know why you expected his answer to be any different.
No.
Never a simple word seemed so final and so meaningful and so heartwrenching.
Because even though a yes would not change the past, it could change the future.
Your future.
…your future together…
But Armitage knew better than you.
He always seemed to know better than you.
And he did not lie to you.
He could have done that. He could have taken the easy way out. But never even once he took the easy way out in your relationship. He always made you face your fears and confront them and grow by doing so. He made you face the ugly truth — be it by seeing it on others or looking for it inside yourself. And this time the ugly truth is that you would have forgiven him for everything he did — for things that there was no forgiveness for — just because you loved him.
And he knew that later, when you came to think about it rationally, you would not be able to forgive yourself for forgiving him.
He could have protected himself and protected his feelings, but he chose to protect you instead.
Anyone capable of love is capable of being saved, you thought before, while you waited his answer — while you waited for the answer that would tear the both of you apart forever — but now, alone in the room, sitting over the messed blankets and watching the sun setting on the horizon that you realized that you got it all wrong.
Anyone capable of love is capable of saving someone else and Armitage Hux was capable of love. You knew that now. Because he loved you. And he saved you, from yourself and from your foolishness.
You thought that he had been cruel when he had said that no with that air of finality and he had kissed your forehead with that painful look in his eyes — that resignation of someone used to lose everything good in their lives, the resignation of someone used to say goodbye to everything good in their lives, the resignation of someone used to think that love is always reserved to someone else.
But he had been kind.
He had been at his kindest when he denied himself by saying no. And by doing so he granted you the chance to live for another day without falling into an endlessly guilt trap that would be the end of both of you in the long run.
Because by seeing you not being able to forgive yourself in the future, he would not be able to forgive himself either.
And there is no future for any relationship in which people cannot forgive themselves for what they have done to their loved ones. It tears apart as much as lack of love. And who could bring themselves to love someone who could not love themselves for loving the other?
How could Armitage Hux love you when you could no longer love yourself for loving him?
Armitage Hux loved you.
That’s why he let you go. Because he knew you would not be able to let go of him — either by some foolish feeling taken from holonovels or for pure stubbornness, a desire to redeem someone who did not wish to be redeemed — even if your life depended on it. So before you could make a choice that would ruin the both of you, he let you go.
Armitage Hux loved you.
And you cried harder realizing it.
Because love is not as beautiful and perfect and harmonic as holofilms made they look. Because love not always hurt only to sooth later — sometimes it just hurt. Because love sometimes drove people apart instead of uniting them — and sometimes never united them back.
Armitage Hux loved you.
And because he loved you, he made the choice he knew you could not be able to make.
For someone who did not know love his entire childhood — and for a good part of his life — he knew what love meant better than most people.
***
The place was quite comfortable… for a cage. Honestly, he was shocked by Enric Pryde’s courtesy — even though he was not fooled by it at all. He knew he was still regarded as a traitor, but the new Allegiant General — or whatever purpose that title served besides unnerving him — had little proof of his misdeeds, and if he wanted to see Armitage hanged and not have everything sprung on himself later, he would have to go through the proper channels for now.
And before he cleared his name of whatever accusations hung over his head, he would have to sink it into the mud, and he would not be able to do what while in that… place. Even though that was Pryde’s intention, he could not say that being thrown into a room and not an uncomfortable cell was a welcomed surprise.
But the place had its perks.
Comfortable bed, a furnished refresher, a datapad — with all his usual accesses blocked of course — holobooks and holomovies at his disposal. Hux almost thought Enric wanted him to enjoy his stay. Or to come out of this whole situation an enlighted man, given how Crime and Punishment was the first holobook available to him.
Perhaps, after it was all over, he should gather a team and completely modify the prison facility in his Star Destroyer. For he would not give General Pryde the comfort of a room. And he intended for his late father’s friend to remain there for some good few weeks. As for he, Armitage thought it was a pity he would not enjoy the place for not even a full day.
But even before that, he would give Pryde the courtesy of reading said holobook because it seemed he still did not understand what happened years ago and that Hux did not have anything to repent for. Not related to his son, at least.
His bluish eyes scanned the room one last time, before he wiped the blood from his brow and stared at the motionless body tossed across the floor. With a clean and wet cloth, he cleaned his face before adjusting the hat over his head. A brief look at his appearance, and he was ready to go.
Even though the clothes quite did not fit him — the man who wore them before was too fat and too short, it would have to make do. In his confusion, Lieutenant Mitaka ended up sending former Lieutenant Jelantos Kelemann — now appointed a General… as if! — to his quarters.
Now, Armitage Hux had nothing against the man, but he had nothing going for him either. In fact, he noticed that during his absence, Lieutenant Kelemann, along with a few measly and unimportant sycophants, became Generals, with Enric Pryde crowned as General Allegiant. And albeit killing the man was not in his plans, he could not say he regretted getting rid of a bastard — literally — that looked down on him for being the same as he — a bastard. It was just a sad coincidence. That’s all. But if life wasn’t full of sad — and just a few times happy — coincidences.
He raised his eyes to the holocam and stared at it with a tense expression. Next, the bluish eyes went back to the chrono on his left wrist. Even though he was not afraid of getting caught — he could easily pledge innocence on the matter; not to mention for a frail and skinny man such as himself to overpower someone with the body proportions of Lieutenant Kelemann — if they did not time things right, everything could blow out of proportion and ruin his plans.
And he did not want to have to start anew or to be tortured so early on. If he got things his way, he would not be tortured at all. The memory of being tortured by Enric Pryde was one he took long to forget, and it was certainly not exactly an occurrence he was eager to repeat. Armitage certainly did not want another scar as huge was the one that graced his chest — for this time he was quite sure he would not have her to save his life and tend to him afterwards.
He shook such thoughts away for he had no time whatsoever to think about the past. Later, he told himself. Later, when he got what he wanted, he would have time to reminisce over his ever-growing failures.
Before he could even conclude this thought, the door opened with a woosh and Lieutenant Mitaka — it seemed the man was the only one who did not get promoted in his absence — poked his head in; he was in the company of Captain Phasma. He nodded, before following them out of his room.
“Did you get what I ordered?” he asked even before the feeble Lieutenant could stop to salute him; their time frame was slim, and he could lose not even a single second with unnecessary words and actions.
Mitaka merely nodded, as if too stunned to voice anything. Given Phasma slightly tilted head, he could see she was partly against involving the Lieutenant in their mission. He was meek, he was clumsy, and he was easily terrified, which, Armitage knew, could jeopardize the entire operation. But time was of the essence. The General knew he had very few allies in the First Order right now — most of them having sided with Pryde or too fearful of Kylo Ren’s ungodly reactions to ever think of defecting.
Rather, Hux was nothing if not a cautious man. Before he had even left Cantonica, he had foreseen a hundred outcomes for his plan. If Lieutenant Mitaka betrayed them, he would face Pryde’s wrath alone. And he was ready to improvise, if needed. He had learned the hard way that as brilliant as some plans may seem, most of them needed last minute improvisations.
The lieutenant handed him a datacard containing the information he needed to make Pryde finally haul him into prison. He would not be able to set the second part of his plan in motion unless he was behind the bars — and not the comfortable cage his father’s friend assigned to him. Mikata’s gesture, however, did not go unnoticed.
He seemed almost… reluctant.
The problem of siding with highly moral people, Hux thought, is that they were usually too afraid to do what they must. People like him did not get to the top by playing the guilt trip game. And yet, he could not help how his mind wandered back to her and how she seemed on verge of forgiving him if he just… lied.
He could have had it all.
…If he just told her what she wanted to hear.
Instead, he went for the truth. Because he learned quite early in his life that truth always comes with a price. When Rae Sloane taught him that truth was for those in position of power, she never said it was because there was too high a price to pay.
He tightened his hold around the datacard.
Later.
But before he could dismiss the Lieutenant, he produced two different datacard. Armitage held it in his left hand, pointing each in a opposite direction. Phasma took the one assigned to her and looked through narrowed eyes — not that anyone could see — at the man beside her. Mitaka was visibly shaken and his arm seemed frozen, as he thought whether to take the datacard.
“I trust today we pay our tributes to those who died in the First Death Star.”
“Y-Yes…” Mitaka replied, before taking the datacard and placing it inside his internal breast pocket. “I am to give it to General Myri Proga. She will know what to do with it.”
Is she a General, now?
He always thought that with the tragic and so very precocious death of Captain Cardinal, whoever took his place would be assigned to the rank of Captain as well. Not a General. It seemed that in his absence, everyone who merely engaged in small talk with Enric Pryde became a General.
His eyes darted over to Captain Phasma, who nodded lightly.
“Yes.”
This time, it was impossible for any of them to prevent Mitaka from saluting. Before he could go, however, Hux placed a hand over his shoulder and leaned to whisper conspiratorially.
“I will remember your help, Grand-Admiral Mitaka.”
Phasma watched the interaction in silence. When the feeble lieutenant took a turn and they were left alone in the corridor, she lost no time to match his pace and walk beside him.
“Seems a bit too much promoting him to a Grand-Admiral.”
Hux took his time to reply. Hands behind his back, he took in his surroundings. He spent far too long away from his Star Destroyer.
“On the contrary.” He stopped suddenly, turning to face the chromium-armored stormtrooper. “It would be unfair to expect help without payment.”
Phasma tilted his head lightly.
“Then I trust you have something in store for me as well.”
Hux scoffed.
“Of course.” He was about to turn on his heels again, but he seemed to think better of it. Even though the tone of his voice was neutral, the threat was apparent. “However, whether you’ll get such position will depend on the success of your mission.”
“Then enlighten me, General, how messing with Pryde’s dead son will benefit this whole operation?”
A small smirk took upon his full lips.
“It won’t.” He pointed the datacard she still held between her fingers. “It will. And if you must know, the blaster you will retrieve from his chambers will benefit this...” He wetted his lips, before copying her words, “whole operation as well.”
He took the first step to leave her alone, but her modified voice reached his ears and made him stop. As the meaning of her words hit him, he could not help clenching his fists.
“Then having the cadets paying tribute to Pryde’s son, when we both know he died years after the Battle of Yavin, doesn’t have anything to do with our plans and you’re merely using a dead child for your personal vendetta.”
His nostrils flared.
He could have said that that dead child almost cost his life when he, too, was a still child himself. But Phasma was not privy to certain personal information and he would rather keep it this way.
The words to leave his lips hid nothing of his disappointment.
“I thought that by now you knew me better than that.”
Phasma seemed on verge of approaching him, but after two steps, she seemed to think better of it.
“I did too.” There was a sharp intake of breath. “But you came back a different man.”
For a moment, Hux did not know what to think of her words. But as quickly as the feeling of non-belonging came, it was gone. No one could expect him to be betrayed by an Order whose existence mingled with his own existence, an Order he pledged his entire life and loyalty to and still return an unchanged man.
Certain events were bound to change people.
And he could not say he preferred his older version to this one.
He just had to play his cards right…
…and everything would be his.
“As your friend, I’ll have you know that whatever your secret plans are, Pryde will see through your petty provocation and won’t do what you want.” Her biting tone did not go unnoticed by him. “How can you know he won’t just have you killed and be done with it?”
Well, I don’t.
What he answered, however was quite different.
“Trust me, I know Enric Pryde.” Better than I wanted to, he almost added. “And he won’t let me die before disgracing me completely.”
***
“Are you done crying and feeling sorry for yourself, girl?”
You looked up past your arms to see the wrinkled face of your old acquaintance. Aurra was sitting in an armchair across from your bed, her nose was scrunched up in disgust; she overall looked at you as if you were a fool for not having seen it coming.
For most part, you agreed with her.
“You’re probably wondering in that thick head of yours how can someone like her know what it’s to lose a loved one.” She placed both hands on her stick cane and leaned her chin over it as she watched you closely. “Maybe I didn’t, because I never had much time to dwell on my feelings like you youngsters. But I doubt the General left you here with no instructions on how to further proceed.”
Your face was suddenly red.
With both embarrassment and anger. She may be right — she was right, and you knew that —, but it did not give her any right to talk to you in that condescending tone. But screw that, when did Aurra Sing ever behave as expected?
You wiped your nose and ran your hands over your face, as if it could magically clean the marks of being in that uncomfortable position, crying for the maker knows how long, and looked at her.
Yes. She was right.
The General left instructions before he left.
His nonchalant voice as he scribbled some words as if your entire relationship had just been a business transaction and both of you had no choice except to move on and try start over, had your heart in tatters.
And you did not want to think about it for now.
You swung your legs from the bed and took a deep breath, before rising to your feet and looking for some appropriate clothes to meet the man who could now be either the savior or the hangman of your planet.
Dantooine depended on this man.
You depended on this man.
And Armitage Hux had given you the perfect weapon to convince Daniel Vekkarr to save it. The catch was — because there always was a catch with Armitage Hux — you would have to disgrace him completely.
You took a deep breath.
Soon, you would know if you could go through with it or not.
***
One… Two… Three… Four…
Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven…
Armitage rested his arms over his knees. With his back against the wall, he tilted his head so he could watch the ceiling for the umpteenth time for the last few hours.
He had finally managed to get Pryde to haul him to the detention block. But so far, he had no news of what was taking place in the Finalizer. Well, he thought that was to be expected, considering he had arrived with the scavenger girl. Or that was what Pryde told him. Phasma, however, told a different story.
The scavenger girl did not arrive with him. He got there in the Finalizer first. But it seemed she was en route to the Star Destroyer. By now, she had probably arrived already.
Or not.
His eyes scanned the prison cell. Apart from the small bed, a small and unfurnished refresher, there was a table, where a tray with food and a holobook lay almost untouched.
Now, he was not hungry, and he doubted anyone would try to poison him, but until he had worked up an appetite, he would rather leave that untouched.
And the holobook… It lay with a few parts read and marked, but he did not read that much either. Honestly, he was still debating himself whether to discuss some excerpts with Pryde. He was not usually a man who read too much fiction, for his usual routine prevented him for even having a healthy sleep pattern, but he knew how to appreciate good literature. And he thought Pryde got Crime and Punishment wrong.
Or he got the wrong person.
The person he should have given that holobook to, died a few years ago.
Perhaps, he would forget the holobook entirely and just thank Pryde for locking him up. A smile curved his full lips slightly. But he knew it was merely his ego talking. He would pledge with Pryde to see the error of his way — after all, he had locked up a fellow General with just a few suspicions and no evidence whatsoever. Surely that would weigh against him in a future inquiry. Did he say something along the lines of I have no evidence, but I have conviction of your betrayal?
His eyes fell closed as he thought about Pryde not getting the evidence of his betrayal. Of how he sided with both the Resistance and the Syndicate in Dantooine.
He would have let out a tired sigh, if he did not know better.
Even though he had said she should have given his head to Daniel Vekkarr, she apparently did not. If she did, the Representative of Regency Pharma alone decided to spare him — which was quite a fable, if he ever believed them.
Mrs. Hux had let her heart dictate her actions once again.
But Armitage thought that was to be expected. She had never once been cruel to him and he had been a fool to believe she would do anything to harm him. And even when she did — in the beginning of their relationship, by admitting she still loved Aquilla Syndulla, even being supposedly married to him for three years and half —, she did not do it out of spite. She was being honest.
As he was honest with her when he said he did not regret his actions.
Because he did not.
And even if he did… it would change nothing.
If there was something he regretted, it was certainly the fact that he let Kylo Ren get the lives of his subordinates on the line. The destruction of the Starkiller Base had reaped more people than he could count. And that certainly weighed on his conscience.
But even if he regretted how many died on his watch, his regret would not bring those people back to their families.
The fact is, her unwillingness to do what she must — to betray him and to turn against him — could jeopardize the entire mission. Luckily, he was nothing if not a creative man. And even though her action was not in his plans, he still could turn it in his favor.
When steps approached his cell in the detention block, he did not open his eyes. Resting his head against the wall, he waited until he was addressed.
“You did not touch your food.”
He did not reply, waiting for his father’s friend to continue.
“Rest at ease, I won’t have you poisoned. I have always…” He seemed to think about his next words carefully. “I have always considered cowardice to dispose of anyone with poisons or poisonous animals.”
Hux almost smirked.
Then, he still believed he was responsible for his son’s death.
He could work with that.
“Holding an innocent man captive is a cowardly action as well, Enric.”
The sound of Pryde’s laughter echoed in the detention block. It was a mirthless sound, but he still seemed pleased. Hux’s nostrils flared.
“You are everything but innocent, Armitage.”
“Perhaps.” He was quick to reply. “But I am innocent of the things you accuse me of.”
“Are you? Because I have a hard time believing it.”
Hux shook his head, and for the first time since they began to interact, he opened his eyes and stared at his enemy.
“What you believe doesn’t interest me.” He arched an eyebrow as he continued, “I also believe it’s foolish to believe that someone who have nothing to repent, will do so because of a holobook.”
There was a minute of silence as Pryde’s hand slid over the bars and clenched it tightly, as if he was in fact crushing Hux’s throat between his gloved fingers. Which he would do, if he just could, considering the distance between them. Or if he had the force, like Snoke and Kylo Ren.
Hux almost smirked.
“You have always been an arrogant child. Always thought you were better than others. Destined to something great.”
Those words only served to weaken his will to control his need to smirk. Or to laugh. It had been quite a while since he last laughed. He doubted he would still recognize the sound of his laughter.
He reigned in his urges.
And his self-control only seemed to further enrage Pryde.
“You always thought of yourself as a victim, even knowing that your mother ran away from you because she could not stand the sight of you. Or the shameful memories looking at your face evoked.”
Hux bristled at his words.
But he controlled himself.
Just barely.
To mention his mother was an old trick everyone who wanted to piss him off used. Pryde had done that quite a lot during his childhood. Just the sound of his mocking voice would turn him into an enraged mess. But he thought he had learned how to control that during his adolescence.
It seemed he was wrong.
It seemed Pryde could still awaken a fury in him that he thought to be dormant.
“Arrogance or not, you’re still holding an innocent man”. His voice was no more than a whisper, spoken slowly, as if he was having a hard time not to snap against his captor. “And that will befall upon you in a future court. Check the surveillance holocam. I have been in the room you assigned me the entire day.”
“I would ask you then how come General Jelantos Kelemann was not seen after he left to drop your food and later showed up dead in the kitchens, but I take it you wouldn’t know anything about it.”
Hux arched his eyebrows, seemingly genuinely surprised.
“You dispatched a General to bring me food?”
That seemed a very stupid task for a General, in his opinion.
The icy expression in Pryde’s bluish eyes made him purse his lips into a thin line.
“Rest assured, General Pryde, I would tell you if I knew anything.” He gestured with his hands as if he wanted to do more, but actually could not. “Sadly, I don’t.”
There was another minute of silence or so as Pryde seemed to analyze his facial expression, looking for the tiniest sign that he could be at fault. However, both of them knew better that neither was an amateur when it came to taking lives. What did Pryde expect? That Hux would behave as if Kelemann was the first person he killed? He was past the time in which he reacted strongly after killing someone.
He recalled the first time he fired his blaster and took down a deserter. Later, in his chambers, as his blood cooled off and his mind wandered back to what he did, he doubled over the toiled and emptied his stomach as if there was no tomorrow.
But only the maker could know how many lives he had reaped so far. And how many more he would reap still to become Emperor.
Because he would be Emperor.
“Will that be all?” he asked, suddenly looking at Pryde with fatigue expressed across his features. If so, he would very much like to get an ounce of sleep. He figured he would not have much time to rest later.
“Actually, no.” Pryde’s eyebrows were furrowed, as if he was somewhat worried about something. The gleam in his eyes, however, told a different story altogether. “I came here to tell you that we finally could fix your mistake.”
His words seemed to pick Armitage’s interest.
He did not want to fall into Pryde’s game, but he figured the General would not reveal any information unless he gave life to that damned the question.
“What mistake?”
The smirk that took over Enric Pryde’s lips made his fingers tighten their hold over his knees.
“The First Order finally took over Dantooine.”