Work Text:
Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc
Nathaniel felt the eyes of the rest of the class on him as he tried to reach into his backpack, attempting to locate his cell phone to stop the sound of his ringtone. He'd been too busy running late to turn it to silent that day, red-coloured hair still damp and hastily pulled into a ponytail at his nape to save time when he'd rushed through the classroom door.
It didn't help that he'd put the same shirt on from yesterday, the one that was covered in paint.
When he'd managed to fumble and turn the device off for the time being, his face felt warm as he offered an awkward, “Sorry.”
Afterwards, when he'd gathered his belongings and waited in a queue to get lunch, he turned his phone back on, bewildered by the amount of notifications that were popping. A few were from his class-mates, wondering where he was, but the large majority of them were from an unknown number.
(09:05) from unknown:
dont forget my coffee order this time
(09:05) from unknown:
if its wrong again i will fire you
(09:06) from unknown:
im not kidding.
(09:15) from unknown:
where the fuck are you
(09:16) from unknown:
your pale ass is gone
(09:17) from unknown:
get ready to go back to knitting
(09:17) from unknown:
or whatever your dumbass did before me
(09:23) from unknown:
i can fucking see you through the glass
(09:24) from unknown:
youre talking to a fuckboy
(09:24) from unknown:
what is wrong with you...
(09:25) from unknown:
i hired you to feed me coffee and youre flirting badly
(09:29) from unknown:
im asking for an uglier assistant next time
(12:49) to unknown:
This isn't the pale ass you're looking for.
(13:01) from unknown:
stop talking to me i fired you
(13:06) to unknown:
I haven't spoken to any fuckboys yet today.
(13:07) from unknown:
dont try and defend your bad choices
(13:07) from unknown:
and i mean bad.
(13:10) to unknown:
He can't be that bad.
(13:11) from unknown:
he cried when he fell over and cut his knee
(13:11) from unknown:
and lets not forget his beautiful haircut
(13:13) to unknown:
So he's a sensitive guy with great hair?
(13:13) from unknown:
its sarcasm you idiot
(13:14) from unknown:
you dont understand my jokes
(13:14) from unknown:
this is why you had to go
(13:20) to unknown:
I thought it was because I couldn't get your complicated coffee right?
(13:23) from unknown:
its literally your job to please me
(13:23) from unknown:
when i bet you cant even please your parents
(13:47) to unknown:
Don't you mean was?
(13:48) to unknown:
And as fun as this has been, you've got the wrong number.
(13:48) to unknown:
You might want to hire your assistant again.
(13:50) from unknown:
what the fuck
Well, that was one way to cheer him up.
Nathaniel checked his phone a few times during the way, just to see whether the stranger had replied, but it became clear that they had no intention to. Still, it made an amusing story to tell to his friends later on, especially when they asked to see whether he was making it up or not.
That was the only change from his usual day for almost a week. Nathaniel trudged to classes when he had to—not with wet hair again, and he definitely wore better clothing—did the work for his projects that he had to, then finished a commission that he'd gotten the previous week for a drawing online. As he hadn't been awarded a scholarship like he'd wanted in the beginning, it was the best way to make up for him not having time to find a local part-time job that would benefit him.
It was in the middle of the following week when the number messaged him again.
(14:02) from unknown:
i made the mistake of hiring her back
(14:02) from unknown:
and shes with the fuckboy...
(14:15) to unknown:
I can't say I was expecting to hear from you again.
(14:16) from unknown:
its your fault im dealing with this
(14:17) from unknown:
she thinks i fucking like her now
(14:28) to unknown:
You like her enough to comment on who she's flirting with.
(14:30) from unknown:
her attention should be on me
(14:31) from unknown:
not the dumbass receptionist that gawks at anyone slightly pretty
(14:37) to unknown:
Does that mean she's at least slightly pretty?
(14:28) from unknown:
pretty fucking bad.
(14:35) to unknown:
That's pretty rude of you.
(14:38) from unknown:
talking to you was a mistake
(14:38) from unknown:
but im sure someones already said that to you before
(14:41) to unknown:
Pretty much everyone.
(14:45) from unknown:
theres a reason for that
(14:57) to unknown:
Shouldn't you get back to ruining your assistant's romance?
(15:00) from unknown:
fuckboy just told her that ive never unfired someone before
(15:00) from unknown:
im going to murder them both
(15:04) to unknown:
Maybe don't tell me that, stranger. I don't want to be an accomplice.
(16:06) from unknown:
blood has to be shed for your mistakes
(16:09) to unknown:
Technically, you got the number wrong, not me.
(16:11) from unknown:
when you see the news youll know it was me
(16:15) to unknown:
I don't know anything about you. Other than that you might be middle-aged.
(16:19) from unknown:
youre the one typing like a fucking grandma
(16:19) from unknown:
i bet you knit sweaters for your cats in your free time
(16:29) to unknown:
That's oddly specific.
(16:30) from unknown:
am i wrong tho
(16:34) to unknown:
I don't own a cat.
(16:37) from unknown:
but you know how to knit dont you grandma
(16:41) to unknown:
This is feeling very judgemental.
(16:44) from unknown:
sabrina gave me knitted socks on her first day
(16:45) from unknown:
they had holes in them and i think shes colourblind
(16:59) to unknown:
That was sweet of her. Is Sabrina your assistant?
(17:10) from unknown:
sabrian is my mistake
(17:11) to unknown:
Sabrian.
(17:11) from unknown:
i will end you
(17:13) to unknown:
When you introduce her to someone, do you say this is a Brian?
(17:17) from unknown:
maybe if you spent less time being a nerd
(17:17) from unknown:
youd be as successful as me
(17:20) to unknown:
I know nothing about you.
(17:22) from unknown:
i have an assistant while you have gross knitting needles
(17:25) to unknown:
You're really hung up about knitting, aren't you?
(17:26) from unknown:
have you ever read a murder with them needles
(17:26) from unknown:
because youre about to
As strange as it was, they continued talking. The conversations were never serious—the most serious had been when they'd thought he was Sabrina, but even then the threats had been humorous—and they entertained him throughout the days. Nathaniel found himself enjoying them, lips curling into a fond smile when he read each of the insults or sharp comments that always came across as an angry child rather than someone threatening.
It didn't turn out so well when he tried to tell them that, though.
(19:47) to unknown:
I can't take you seriously when you threaten to kill someone every day now.
(19:59) from unknown:
im creative
(20:02) to unknown:
You said you'd kill Brian with your sunglasses yesterday. Designer ones, too.
(20:03) from unknown:
its so you know im successful at others things than murder
(20:03) from unknown:
like earning enough money to buy my own clothing
(20:05) to unknown:
Invest in a creative writing course. It'll help with the mafia vibe you're trying to have.
(20:10) from unknown:
first of all
(20:10) from unknown:
we both know id look great in a pinstripe suit
(20:11) to unknown:
I'm sure you would, wrinkles and all.
(20:12) from unknown:
what the fuck
(20:13) to unknown:
I'm calling you old.
(20:14) from unknown:
weve been talking two weeks and you think im old?
(20:18) to unknown:
Wow, question marks. And you still think I'm a grandma.
(20:18) from unknown:
ive decided youre just a teenage girl thats really into learning
(20:20) to unknown:
All of what you just said is wrong.
(20:21) from unknown:
your whole existence is wrong
(20:22) to unknown:
Oh, burn. I'm offended.
(20:22) from unknown:
youre literally a grandma or a nerdy kid
(20:23) from unknown:
theres no other reason for your texting
(20:24) to unknown:
It makes me feel powerful.
(20:24) from unknown:
…
(20:27) to unknown:
I didn't turn the text options off, unlike someone.
(20:29) from unknown:
you turn a lot of other things off instead right
(20:32) to unknown:
Where have your question marks gone now? I'm missing them already.
(20:34) from unknown:
theyve gone off to war
(20:39) to unknown:
So they're learning how to murder?
(20:42) from unknown:
better watch out little girl
(20:45) to unknown:
Try the opposite gender.
(20:46) from unknown:
are you telling me to try out little boys
(20:46) from unknown:
you sicko...
(20:49) to unknown:
I don't know why Brian puts up with you.
(20:50) from unknown:
sabrina is a paid stalker
(20:52) to unknown:
You're the one paying her.
(20:52) from unknown:
maybe shell remember that when she sees fuckboy tomorrow
(20:55) to unknown:
You need to accept their love, stranger.
(20:55) from unknown:
im never telling you my name
(20:57) from unknown:
youre saved as little boy now
(20:59) to unknown:
I'm not making your name Daddy.
(20:59) from unknown:
i really dont need to know your kinks
(21:00) from unknown:
youre only 12
(21:03) to unknown:
I'm just going to save you as a murder suspect.
(21:03) from serial killer:
im a fucking angel
With the addition of their contact information—no other details learned about them, other than Sabrina's constant flirtation with the receptionist—came his friends seeing his screen and questioning the name.
“It's a joke,” he muttered, putting the device away, ignoring the notifications. “I'm not really conversing with a murderer.”
The looks he received weren't very flattering.
Within a week, the name was shortened down to SK. They'd taken it as an affectionate nickname, not protesting it at all. And, well, from the amount of times they'd send passive-aggressive messages about Sabrina, along with just plain aggressive ones, it was no surprise that it suited them well.
Talking to SK was a nice distraction when he felt stressed. Their chats were always ridiculous, filled with nonsense and insults that he couldn't tell were genuine or not, but the important thing was that he found them enjoyable. As much as he enjoyed talking to his friends, there was a bit of freedom when talking to someone new, someone that didn't ask how his projects were going or whether he'd managed to wake up in time to get to his morning classes.
If his fingers smudged his last painting, SK didn't have to know.
When they finally got round to asking about his life, it wasn't in the most conventional way.
(06:25) from sk:
rise and shine asshole
(06:25) from sk:
if i have to be up at the ass crack of dawn
(06:25) from sk:
then so do you lb
(06:29) to sk:
Can you not call me a little boy so early in the morning?
(06:30) to sk:
It makes me feel gross.
(06:32) from sk:
isnt that your natural state tho
(06:35) to sk:
I'm ignoring you and going back to sleep.
(06:35) from sk:
entertain me
(06:37) to sk:
I went to bed two hours ago.
(06:37) from sk:
did i even ask...
(06:38) to sk:
That means fuck off, SK.
(06:38) from sk:
your replies are getting quicker
(06:38) from sk:
that means youre up to keep me company
(06:39) from sk:
im very close to considering you an almost friend
(06:40) to sk:
I don't want to be almost anything to you.
(06:40) from sk:
honestly that is fucking absurd
(06:40) from sk:
people would kill to be in your shoes
(06:41) from sk:
even if theyre children sized ones
(06:41) to sk:
My shoes are 100% bigger than yours.
(06:42) from sk:
are you trying to imply something here
(06:43) from sk:
because i dont want to be arrested for pedophia
(06:43) to sk:
Pedophilia.
(06:43) from sk:
hey look
(06:44) from sk:
youre awfully familiar with it
(06:44) from sk:
little boys like you shouldnt be on the internet
(06:45) to sk:
This is a text message.
(06:45) from sk:
shut up
(06:45) from sk:
now tell me why you were up
(06:45) from sk:
was it a booty call
(06:49) to sk:
No, SK. It wasn't a booty call.
(06:50) from sk:
im sad but not surprised
(06:51) to sk:
And I'm tired.
(06:52) from sk:
youre up for good you coward
(06:53) to sk:
I don't have class for five hours.
(06:53) to sk:
I planned to sleep to make up for staying up.
(06:54) from sk:
when did you plan in your sking time
(06:56) to sk:
I don't know how to ski.
(07:00) from sk:
fuck off.
(07:02) from sk:
now tell me
(07:02) from sk:
im stuck in this car for an hour still
(07:15) to sk:
So that's why you dragged me out of bed?
(07:16) from sk:
did you actually get out of bed
(07:17) from sk:
wait stay out of it
(07:17) from sk:
i cant talk to children in their beds
(07:19) to sk:
I was finishing a project.
(07:19) from sk:
that literally tells me nothing
(07:19) from sk:
what do you even do
(07:23) to sk:
I'm a student.
(07:23) from sk:
fuck i was kidding about the kid thing
(07:25) to sk:
I'm legal, SK.
(07:26) from sk:
youre no longer a boy
(07:26) from sk:
im sad now
(07:29) to sk:
Sometimes, the vibe you give off is a lot more creepy than murdery.
(07:29) from sk:
is murdery even a word
(07:30) from sk:
youre the grammar nut here
(07:32) to sk:
I'm an art student.
(07:33) from sk:
do you draw people naked
(07:33) to sk:
Definitely creepy.
-x-
Nothing really changed between them. SK woke him up early in the mornings sometimes, telling him that they needed entertainment for their journey, but he never really pushed to ask for more information. It wasn't that he wasn't curious—having SK as a mystery was more enticing, really. They were his anonymous friend who he had ridiculous conversation with; no angst, no drama, just silly topics that he'd only say to someone in person if he was comfortable with them.
There was no face or voice attached to them, and the image that he'd built of SK in his head was hardly flattering. They were sarcastic, rude, and constantly made him laugh from their responses.
It helped him through the suffering of mixing his paints wrong, wasting the limited amount of money that he had. When he worried about whether he could afford to splurge on groceries, he opened commissions again—three slots, ambitious considering his small amount of followers for his blog—and it was when he was waiting for anyone to contact him that SK asked about that aspect of his life again.
(21:03) from sk:
you said youre an artist right
(21:06) to sk:
Yes?
(21:06) from sk:
does that mean i can see your art
(21:06) from sk:
or are you weirdly protective
(21:07) from sk:
and not let anyone near it
(21:07) from sk:
and like pee on it when no ones looking
(21:23) to sk:
I have a blog.
(21:24) from sk:
give me it.
(21:25) to sk:
That's not a good way to ask for anything.
(21:25) from sk:
thats a lie
(21:25) from sk:
its worked for most of my life
(21:28) to sk:
I'm not spoiling you.
(21:29) from sk:
have i ever asked you to be my sugar daddy
(21:35) to sk:
You think I'm a peasant compared to you.
(21:37) from sk:
real talk
(21:37) from sk:
you probably are
(21:38) from sk:
my designer sunglasses could pay for your tuition
(21:59) to sk:
It's nice to see that rich people can't have it all.
(22:00) from sk:
what
(22:05) to sk:
Well, manners for one.
(22:05) to sk:
And my blog.
(22:15) from sk:
are you really holding your blog hostage
(22:37) to sk:
Until you're a decent human being? Yes.
(22:41) from sk:
is this because i havent given you an actual name
(22:41) from sk:
youre not even a real boy
(23:15) to sk:
And you're a real jerk. Congratulations.
As rude as SK could be, they hadn't been that obnoxious before. Maybe it was because of his situation that he was offended for once, taking the typed words to heart despite the fact that they actually didn't know each other. It was a lot worse than anonymous hate, though; he'd associated SK with positive things for almost two months, and that was why he was bothered in the first place.
It helped when he received two commissions when he woke up the following day.
Nathaniel stubbornly ignored SK's messages for a few days, adamant that he wasn't going to respond, even when they popped up and continued to make the device vibrate in the mornings. The only reason he didn't turn it off was because he needed it to be his alarm.
He read them after three days.
(23:22) from sk:
what
(23:29) from sk:
oh come on really
(23:30) from sk:
did i hurt your little feelings...
(23:49) from sk:
fucking fine
(00:00) from sk:
whatever
(14:02) from sk:
so apparently i was a dick
(14:04) from sk:
but i didnt say anything untrue so whats up with that
(16:49) from sk:
ok brian has told me why
(17:02) from sk:
the way i said it right
(17:05) from sk:
my bad for being insensitive to your money
(17:07) from sk:
you actually dont have a name
(17:08) from sk:
nameless and poor
(07:02) from sk:
was that apology not enough
(07:04) from sk:
come on who else will i talk to in the mornings
(07:15) from sk:
i dont want to talk to brian more than i have to
(07:45) from sk:
is this what it feels like to be ignored
(07:45) from sk:
this is so new
(07:51) from sk:
or is this like a therapy session
(07:51) from sk:
and youre letting me say all my feelings first
(07:55) from sk:
because its pretty weird
(11:04) from sk:
brian told me to actually apologise
(11:05) from sk:
she thinks im still being a dick
(14:36) from sk:
which maybe i am
(14:37) sk:
this is kinda my natural state
(09:02) from sk:
sorry for existing like this i guess?
(09:04) from sk:
that sounded more emo than i wanted
(09:15) from sk:
im too rich to die
(09:16) from sk:
wait thats still rude isnt it
(09:17) from sk:
im too successful to die?
As annoyed as he wanted to be, he was aware that he'd overreacted. SK had been the same as ever, and he'd chosen to be offended by it. So, perhaps, when he was feeling down, talking to them wasn't a good idea—
But they made him laugh. That was the reason that they were still talking; or, rather, why they had been before he'd reacted immaturely to the jabs. SK hadn't messaged him again after the last one—which had admittedly made him laugh, as it was a terribly in character apology—and he found that being angry was tiring.
They were somewhat friends, after all.
(15:19) to sk:
It's not your fault.
(15:21) to sk:
I was immature. Sorry about that, SK.
(15:22) to sk:
I get it if you don't want to talk again.
(15:25) to sk:
But you used question marks and even called her Brian in your apology.
(15:37) to sk:
That's a good sign, isn't it?
(15:40) to sk:
I see what you mean about this feeling like therapy.
(15:42) to sk:
Not that I've actually been to therapy. Have you?
(15:56) to sk:
That's really personal and I'm being a dick. Sorry.
With that apology being the best he could come up with, one that was more eloquent than if he'd tried to say it in person, he distracted himself with his work. He'd passed up the opportunity to go out with friends for that evening, knowing he wouldn't enjoy the thumping beat in the cheapest nearby nightclub in the mood that he was in.
It was just over halfway through a commission that his phone started vibrating. At first, he ignored it by assuming that it was just his friends filling him in on what he was missing, until he remembered that he'd reached out to SK again.
They weren't any less dramatic than usual.
(20:41) from sk:
well well well
(20:41) from sk:
look who cant resist my charms after all
(20:45) from sk:
dont ignore me now dumbass...
(20:46) from sk:
i dont care that you have feelings
(20:46) from sk:
as long as you give me attention
(20:51) to sk:
Hasn't Brian been taking care of you?
(20:53) from sk:
brian is demented
(20:53) from sk:
she thinks were best friends now
(20:55) to sk:
Are you trying to tell me you're not?
(20:56) from sk:
im closer to you than that nerd
(21:00) to sk:
You're convinced I'm a nerd.
(21:03) from sk:
youre a legal boy who likes periods
(21:03) from sk:
that came out badly
(21:05) to sk:
Let's not talk about my kinks.
(21:06) from sk:
ok knit boy
(21:10) to sk:
I really don't like the names you give me.
(21:16) from sk:
and i dont like my assistant
(21:16) from sk:
we cant all have what we want knit
(21:16) from sk:
knoy
(21:16) from sk:
how would you shorten knit boy
(21:19) to sk:
I wouldn't.
(21:20) from sk:
youre boring
(21:24) to sk:
I just have good taste in names.
(21:25) from sk:
you literally call me serial killer
(21:27) to sk:
But it's shortened to sound like a cute nickname.
(21:28) from sk:
its better than what others call me i guess
(21:35) to sk:
Oh? I'm interested in these names now.
(21:35) from sk:
how about
(21:36) from sk:
ill tell you one if you give me your blog
(21:40) to sk:
You really want to see?
(21:42) from sk:
i told you
(21:42) from sk:
were almost friends
(21:45) to sk:
Poor Brian.
(21:46) from sk:
brian tried to have a sleepover with me
(21:52) to sk:
She's your paid stalker, remember?
(21:55) from sk:
its not her job to watch me fucking sleep
(21:55) from sk:
i lied and said i had my period
(21:56) from sk:
she was so fucking pushy
(21:57) to sk:
So you're talking to me because I like periods?
(21:57) from sk:
fucking gross
(22:00) to sk:
You're the one who said it.
(22:02) from sk:
congratulations
(22:02) from sk:
you just turned off another girl
(22:03) to sk:
You just told me your gender.
(22:09) from sk:
what
(22:09) from sk:
did you think brian was trying to sleepover with a guy
(22:10) from sk:
im beautiful and youre missing out
(22:14) to sk:
I don't think she was trying to sleepover because of your looks.
(22:15) from sk:
maybe shed try and cut my face off
(22:15) from sk:
and wear it
(22:17) to sk:
I'm starting to be concerned about you.
(22:17) from sk:
exactly why i said no to her
(22:19) to sk:
Not about your safety, idiot.
(22:19) from sk:
well thats fucking rude
Learning that SK's gender didn't change their conversations at all. Although Nathaniel hadn't decided on what age range they were in, he didn't really mind. Their conversations weren't inappropriate, and there definitely wasn't any flirting involved, but it was nice to learn something new about her.
SK told him at seven in the morning that she was going to be busy for the day, that she wouldn't be able to reply for a long time, and he chose that time to send her his blog, just as he'd promised to do. It wasn't that he was nervous about it—he wasn't the self-conscious teenager that hunched over his sketchbook to avoid people looking at it any more—but the fact that he was worried what she thought at all was mattered. And brutal honesty was her speciality, apparently.
(20:51) from sk:
hello nath
(20:51) from sk:
thats short for something isnt it
(20:52) from sk:
i can click on your links right
(20:53) from sk:
i cant follow you anywhere but i can still stalk
(20:55) from sk:
shit am i brian
(21:04) to sk:
You're an unpaid stalker.
(21:05) from sk:
fuck off nath
(21:07) to sk:
Are you actually waiting for permission?
(21:11) from sk:
well when you put it like that
(21:11) from sk:
no
(21:16) from sk:
you have a fucking ponytail
(21:17) to sk:
Only when I'm drawing.
(21:17) from sk:
isnt that all the time
(21:17) from sk:
i bet you have one in right now
(21:18) to sk:
I don't have to answer that.
(21:24) from sk:
youre fucking tall
(21:30) to sk:
I did try and tell you with the shoe thing.
(21:31) from sk:
i thought you meant dick size
(21:34) to sk:
Why would I want to talk about that with you?
(21:37) from sk:
bitch youd be fucking honoured to
(21:39) to sk:
Your ego is outrageous.
(21:40) from sk:
im literally the third sexiest woman
(21:45) to sk:
Wow, is that some modesty?
(21:52) from sk:
ok we both know i deserve first place
(21:52) from sk:
but ill get my crown next year
(21:53) to sk:
Don't murder your competition.
(21:53) from sk:
fuck off
(22:07) from sk:
nath
(22:09) to sk:
What?
(22:10) from sk:
you better not fucking call me this
(22:10) to sk:
Go on.
(22:11) from sk:
i get called ice queen
(22:11) from sk:
it was a mistake and it stuck
(22:12) to sk:
Just like Brian, huh?
(22:14) from sk:
brian is on you asshole
(22:25) to sk:
You really need to learn to use commas.
(22:27) from sk:
when you look like me
(22:27) from sk:
it really doesnt matter
(22:27) to sk:
I'm sure.
(22:30) from sk:
is that fucking sarcasm
(22:31) to sk:
Of course not, Queenie.
(22:31) from sk:
blocked.
(22:31) to sk:
You're so sweet.
(22:51) from sk:
your art is ok
(22:51) from sk:
but youre still dead to me
Queenie replaced SK in his contact list.
She wasn't too thrilled at first, demanding to be called something else, but gave in after Nathaniel showed her the crown that was beside her name whenever she messaged him.
When he updated his blog with his newest drawing after sharing it with her, he wasn't expecting her to react to it at all. If anything, he'd suspected that she'd forget about it, not bringing it up again. So, when he started to get compliments—well, they were just comments on the colours or specific body parts—each time, he was bewildered at first.
It was sweet, actually. Instead of the comments that he was used to, that his friends posted online, too, Queenie sent them to him directly and made sure that he acknowledged her.
(16:21) from queenie:
you just finished all your drawings right
(16:22) from queenie:
i liked the pointy breasts on the last one
(16:54) to queenie:
Commissions? Yes.
(16:56) from queenie:
are you opening them again
(17:00) to queenie:
Yeah, probably. I just have to finish an assignment first.
(17:01) from queenie:
yes or no nathaniel
(17:03) to queenie:
Using my first name when you're mad doesn't work well.
(17:03) from queenie:
...
(17:04) from queenie:
nathaniel.
(17:06) to queenie:
In a few weeks, yes.
(17:07) from queenie:
is it for three again
(17:09) to queenie:
I guess. It worked out well this time, so maybe.
(17:10) from queenie:
i want
(17:12) to queenie:
Use your words, Queenie.
(17:36) to queenie:
I hope Brian didn't abduct you.
(19:02) from queenie:
brian wanted to get milkshakes
(19:15) to queenie:
And you went, right? That's a beautiful friendship.
(19:18) from queenie:
im on a fucking diet you moron
(19:18) from queenie:
and shes supposed to enforce it
(19:20) to queenie:
So you did.
(19:21) from queenie:
i fucking did
(19:21) from queenie:
now ill probably have to skip dinner
(19:30) to queenie:
How come?
(19:31) from queenie:
did you misread
(19:31) from queenie:
im on a diet
(19:34) to queenie:
Missing dinner because of a milkshake isn't good, though.
(19:36) from queenie:
youre not fucking good
(19:41) to queenie:
Are you okay? You're swearing a lot.
(19:45) from queenie:
im going to fire her
(19:45) from queenie:
im hungry and its all her fault
(19:49) to queenie:
One meal can't hurt, Queenie.
(19:52) from queenie:
i have a big job next week
(19:53) from queenie:
im supposed to be losing weight for it
(19:55) to queenie:
You can eat. A week won't make that much difference.
(19:59) from queenie:
if i dont fit into the clothing
(19:59) from queenie:
i wont get the ad
(20:00) to queenie:
Eat half a dinner, then.
(20:02) from queenie:
thats just fucking sad
(20:04) to queenie:
Aren't you sad right now? Eat a little.
(20:05) from queenie:
is this a new kink
(20:05) from queenie:
making pretty girls eat
(20:07) to queenie:
I'm not telling Brian to eat.
(20:08) from queenie:
die
(20:10) to queenie:
Seriously, will you eat something?
(20:11) to queenie:
I don't know what your job is, but it's not worth starving yourself.
(20:14) from queenie:
thats literally my job whenever i sign a new contract
(20:15) to queenie:
I hope that's an exaggeration.
(20:16) from queenie:
i trade food for sex appeal
(20:20) to queenie:
Queenie, you haven't been on a date for the three months we've known each other.
(20:21) from queenie:
what are you implying here pony boy
(20:23) to queenie:
That name doesn't quite have the same meaning any more.
(20:23) from queenie:
i dont need you
(20:24) from queenie:
to remind me that my frumpy ass assistant
(20:24) from queenie:
is getting more action than me ok
(20:25) to queenie:
You love her.
(20:26) from queenie:
gross
(20:26) from queenie:
if she feeds me again shes gone
(20:28) to queenie:
If she feeds you again, I'll give her a raise myself.
(20:29) from queenie:
how about you buy some clothes
(20:29) from queenie:
that arent covered in paint first
(20:31) to queenie:
Stop looking at my pictures.
(20:32) queenie:
you dont control me
(20:34) to queenie:
I'm gonna turn into a food blog.
(20:34) from queenie:
stick to the pointy breasts
(20:36) to queenie:
They were specifically requested.
(20:36) from queenie:
wait
(20:37) from queenie:
so do you draw whatever youre asked to
(20:39) to queenie:
Within reason, yes.
(20:39) from queenie:
draw something for me
(20:40) to queenie:
Maybe if I have free time.
(20:41) from queenie:
ill pay you dumbass
(20:41) from queenie:
i can be professional and shit
(20:42) to queenie:
And shit, yes.
(20:43) to queenie:
Is this why you were asking about commissions earlier?
(20:44) from queenie:
before brian ruined my life
(20:44) from queenie:
yeah i want something really specific
(20:47) to queenie:
Please tell me it's not with the knitting needles.
(20:52) from queenie:
damn
(20:52) from queenie:
no but really get back to me
(20:53) from queenie:
when you put that post shit up again
-x-
The list of things he knew about Queenie was small.
With the frequent travelling, she continued to message him on her journeys for a source of amusement. Her job required for to be in shape, which meant that she could be a model of some sort, and she was in her early twenties, the same as age him (which had taken a few more weeks for her to say).
She had a sharp sense of humour, didn't think about whether she'd hurt anyone's feelings before she spoke, and often needed someone to point out that she'd done something wrong. In some cases, Nathaniel had to be the one to tell her that she'd said something rude when she vaguely recounted her day, or told him as it was happening.
The strangest thing was that she went through with commissioning him.
At first, he'd stared at the e-mail and wondered whether it was a joke of a request at first, and when he'd been about to delete it, he saw that she'd put her address as ice queen. It was an easy way to keep her identity, at least.
He wished he'd hidden his from his e-mail when she started to call him Kurtzie.
She'd chosen the most expensive option, one that Nathaniel had yet to receive from anyone else, and he found out that she wasn't kidding when she said it was specific.
(16:02) to queenie:
Is this a joke?
(16:26) from queenie:
isnt that usually directed at you
(16:28) to queenie:
Hilarious.
(16:28) to queenie:
Is this request serious?
(16:29) from queenie:
fuck yeah it is
(16:29) from queenie:
draw them baguettes
(16:31) to queenie:
You don't know her, do you?
(16:31) from queenie:
what
(16:34) to queenie:
You're asking me to draw Chloé Bourgeois.
(16:34) to queenie:
She's a model like you, isn't she?
(16:47) from queenie:
what makes you say im a model
(16:52) to queenie:
Queenie, practically spelled it out to me.
(16:53) from queenie:
look i just want a pretty girl with bread
(16:53) from queenie:
bread everywhere
(16:53) from queenie:
so i can look at it and be inspired
(16:55) to queenie:
You're sounding like you have a crush.
(16:56) from queenie:
have you seen them
(16:56) to queenie:
Plural?
(16:59) from queenie:
i havent had bread for like a month
(16:59) from queenie:
and shes the most beautiful woman in the world
(17:00) from queenie:
whats there not to love
(17:03) to queenie:
This is a really weird request.
(17:04) from queenie:
slow down
(17:04) from queenie:
lets see how you do with this
(17:05) from queenie:
before i go nuts pony boy
(17:05) to queenie:
Please don't call me that.
(17:06) from queenie:
sorry kurtzie
(17:08) to queenie:
I regret talking to you.
Queenie asked him daily how it was going, demanding for him to post progress pictures on either his blog or social media accounts, trying to make him more active than anything else. So, he did—each evening, he posted an update of the blonde-haired model that had been requested, easily editing the bits that Queenie found to be unattractive (her words).
When she started to ask him to post pictures of his university projects, just to know what he was working with, that was when he asked why she was making him post more.
The answer he got was simple—she wanted to see his life more.
Which was a bit weird, honestly. Queenie hadn't shared much with him; she was notoriously private, dodging the questions about her job and other activities, giving the people in her life that she talked about to him awful nicknames, other than Sabrina. She was vague about where she was for hours, but more than happy to know about anything that happened to him.
It was a bit weird to like someone that was so secretive. At times, it felt like he was talking to a rude robot from the amount he knew about her.
(11:49) to queenie:
How can you prove I haven't been talking to a bot all this time?
(12:05) from queenie:
boy i hope they have robots as cute as me
(12:12) to queenie:
A text bot.
(12:13) from queenie:
my texting is cute as fuck too
(12:13) from queenie:
are you doubting my existence
(12:14) from queenie:
when i paid out of my ass for a sexy girl with bread
(12:16) to queenie:
I don't really know anything about you, though.
(12:16) to queenie:
Are you badly catfishing me?
(12:18) from queenie:
i repeat
(12:18) from queenie:
i paid u
(12:18) from queenie:
isnt catfishing about getting money
(12:19) to queenie:
That's why I said badly.
(12:24) from queenie:
what do you want to know then
(12:25) from queenie:
to convince you im real
(12:25) from queenie:
after four months of our friendship
(12:28) to queenie:
You know a lot about me, but I only know your age.
(12:30) from queenie:
but you know im a model
(12:31) to queenie:
You never confirmed it.
(12:31) from queenie:
im a model
(12:31) from queenie:
surprise
(12:34) to queenie:
And I can't know who you are because?
(12:35) from queenie:
im having fun
(12:35) from queenie:
dont ruin it
(12:37) to queenie:
I'm not sure how that would ruin it, but okay.
(12:39) from queenie:
youd want to have sex with me obviously
(12:39) from queenie:
kidding
(12:40) from queenie:
well no you probably would
(12:40) from queenie:
im a model for a reason
(12:40) from queenie:
i like that you dont know who i am
(12:40) from queenie:
its nice
(12:44) to queenie:
The only proof I've had about you is the money you paid me, but that could've been your parents'.
(12:52) from queenie:
are you asking me for nudes
(12:52) from queenie:
because ive been told not to send them
(12:54) to queenie:
Who had to tell you not to?
(12:57) from queenie:
it was in my contract
(12:57) from queenie:
along with not dating models
(13:00) to queenie:
So that's why you haven't been on a date.
(13:03) from queenie:
im allowed to with models i dont work with
(13:04) from queenie:
but theyre gross
(13:04) from queenie:
they dont laugh at my jokes
(13:07) to queenie:
You threaten murder as a joke.
(13:12) from queenie:
exactly
(13:12) from queenie:
im hilarious.
(13:12) from queenie:
if they cant laugh at my jokes
(13:13) from queenie:
then they cant love me more than i love me
(13:15) to queenie:
You do love yourself a lot.
(13:18) from queenie:
someone has to
(13:24) to queenie:
If it helps, you make me laugh a lot.
(13:26) from queenie:
this is why youre my best friend
(13:27) to queenie:
Poor Brian.
(13:34) to queenie:
You've gone quiet.
(13:41) to queenie:
You're one of my best friends, too. That's why I want to know more about you.
Queenie told him her favourite food the next day. It was out of nowhere, and a weird conversation starter, but they found out that they had some of the same tastes. Then, she moved onto music and television shows, films that had been released the past few months (she was outraged when he said he hadn't gone to the cinema in years), and even her favourite animal.
It was cute—that was his main thought when he shoved his phone underneath his pillow, trying to sleep despite the music that he could hear from another dorm-room.
The friendship he had with her was easy-going. They joked, laughed, and rarely stayed on the serious topics for them. Yet, he still knew that she was frustrated with her diet, irritated by some of the models she had to work with (particularly the one that she'd nicknamed dickhead permanently), and what she liked to do in her free time.
It was just the physical details that he didn't know, really, and that bothered him more than he thought it would. He enjoyed talking to her enough to admit that her messages were the best parts of his day, able to cheer him up when he was frustrated, and typing to her was preferable to spending time with some of his closest friends as of the past few months—
“Oh.”
He'd always been slow at realising his crushes.
-x-
After the bread picture was completed—which Queenie thoroughly loved from the influx of messages he got when he posted a watermarked version online and sent her the original through an e-mail—the final commission slot was filled up by her again.
She wanted Chloé Bourgeois as a superhero that time.
He'd been asked to draw characters from video games, television shows, and specific members of musical groups, but the model request was a first for him. She was adamant that it was what she wanted, demanding the weirdest things that he'd ever received (other than the oddly sexual ones that he declined), and it helped that along with her request e-mail, she sent a load of reference pictures of the model along with exactly what she wanted.
It was the most expensive one yet again, but she assured him that she could afford it.
When he completed that one, receiving just as much spam as before to show it was appreciated, he wondered whether he could take a break from opening commissions for a bit. Queenie had helped him out with the large amount—two in less than a month—as did the other picture that he'd done, although it was only half.
(18:23) to queenie:
I think I might be able to relax for a bit.
(18:27) from queenie:
i dont need to know about you masturbating
(18:35) to queenie:
You always jump to that conclusion.
(18:38) from queenie:
gross
(18:38) from queenie:
i dont want to think about your dick
(18:39) from queenie:
what if you put that hair in a ponytail too
(18:43) to queenie:
I'm worried about you.
(18:48) from queenie:
thats because you love me
(18:48) from queenie:
its fine
(18:48) from queenie:
everyone loves me a little
(18:50) to queenie:
Speaking of little, how tall are you?
(18:51) from queenie:
listen here giant
(18:51) from queenie:
just because im smaller than you
(18:52) from queenie:
doesnt mean im actually small
(18:57) to queenie:
So you're tall, but not too tall.
(19:00) from queenie:
fuck off kurtzie
(19:02) to queenie:
What did I do to deserve that name?
(19:03) from queenie:
youre being gross
(19:07) to queenie:
Asking about you is gross?
(19:09) from queenie:
in the way you did it yes
(19:09) from queenie:
be a normal person for once
(19:11) to queenie:
You're asking for a lot.
(19:12) from queenie:
im not
(19:12) from queenie:
you posting a selfie without a ponytail
(19:12) from queenie:
would be asking too much
(19:14) to queenie:
Will I get anything in return if I do that?
(19:16) from queenie:
ill commission you again
(19:20) to queenie:
They're not open.
(19:22) from queenie:
you love me
(19:22) from queenie:
so let me pay you
(19:30) to queenie:
You've already paid me twice.
(19:31) from queenie:
i want one with a space background now
(19:13) from queenie:
and sparkly eyes
(19:13) from queenie:
give me the cute shit
(19:15) to queenie:
Chloé again?
(19:16) from queenie:
she is everything i aspire to be
(19:20) to queenie:
Your admiration is a tad extreme.
(19:20) from queenie:
what
(19:21) from queenie:
you draw characters you like from some game
(19:21) from queenie:
why cant i have a pretty girl
(19:24) to queenie:
Send me the reference pictures and all the details you want later.
(19:24) from queenie:
fuck yes
(19:25) from queenie:
im gonna make it my new profile picture
(19:29) to queenie:
Of your secret accounts?
(19:34) from queenie:
be nice and they might not be so secret
(19:38) to queenie:
I hope you're not kidding.
(19:41) from queenie:
you need to post a nice pic of you first
(19:41) from queenie:
thats the deal kurtzie
(19:44) to queenie:
Any positive feelings I have for you die when you use that nickname.
(19:44) from queenie:
what about if i moaned it
(19:47) to queenie:
That requires knowing what your voice sounds like.
(19:50) from queenie:
better get working on that selfie then boy
(19:52) to queenie:
Demanding.
Nathaniel posted the picture of himself the next day. As she said she'd do, he received the reference pictures and information a few days later from the same e-mail as she always used, the one her real name missing from it. As nice as it was for them to talk as they were, it did feel like they wouldn't be friends anywhere else; not instant messaging somewhere, on social media, or even in person.
He knew he was soft-spoken, hesitant to speak up when in a group, and preferred to stick to the sidelines instead of involving himself in drama, and from what she knew about Queenie, she was the opposite.
It was fine.
They probably wouldn't be compatible in person, and they'd probably never meet in that way at all. She didn't want to change from their texts or even call him and that—
That was fine.
Still, when he got a message from her saying that he didn't look too bad that day, he couldn't help but get his hopes up a little. If she felt the same excitement or happiness when his name popped up on her screen as he did for hers, then that was more than enough. He wasn't going to pressure her for anything more, or even admit to his feelings—he knew that it would be pointless to, and didn't want to damage their friendship with his one-sided feelings.
Nathaniel poured his feelings into the pictures she paid for instead, staying up until his eyes were half-lidded from tiredness, making sure that it was worth the money.
In the early hours of the morning, hours before he needed to be up for class, his cell phone was vibrating madly from her reaction to the piece.
With his face still pressed into the pillow, he smiled for a moment before reaching out for the device.
(06:27) from queenie:
fucking look at that!
(06:27) from queenie:
nath!
(06:28) from queenie:
if this isnt going into your portfolio somehow
(06:28) from queenie:
you need to fucking fix that
(06:28) from queenie:
this is the best shit yet
(06:29) from queenie:
put it on your blog already
(06:29) from queenie:
wait am i waking you up
(06:29) from queenie:
i want the company but like
(06:30) from queenie:
that email was from a few hours ago
(06:30) from queenie:
you did a good job
(06:30) from queenie:
so you can sleep
(06:32) to queenie:
I can't sleep when my pillow's vibrating.
(06:32) from queenie:
turn your dildo off then moron
(06:33) from queenie:
wait fuck
(06:33) from queenie:
ill shut up
(06:33) from queenie:
just for today
Cute was a good word to describe her.
-x-
(09:29) from queenie:
you have today off right
(09:37) to queenie:
Yeah, my only class is cancelled.
(09:39) from queenie:
so you can keep me company
(09:39) from queenie:
brians gone off to flirt
(09:40) from queenie:
and some new models are cosying up to me
(09:40) from queenie
i need to look busy
(09:43) to queenie:
I wasn't planning on not talking to you today.
(09:44) from queenie:
then text faster
(09:44) from queenie:
theyre looking suspicious
(09:45) to queenie:
Why?
(09:46) from queenie:
ive already told them to fuck off before
(09:46) from queenie:
i need to be nicer apparently
(09:48) to queenie:
Who told you this?
(09:48) from queenie:
there was a complaint about me last week
(09:49) from queenie:
because someone couldnt take a joke
(09:51) to queenie:
They can't be your friend if they don't like your jokes.
(09:52) from queenie:
why do you meet my requirements
(09:52) from queenie:
you dont even live near me
(09:53) to queenie:
You're never going to tell me where you live.
(09:53) from queenie:
be happy im french
(09:54) to queenie:
I'm happy that you're you.
(09:54) from queenie:
that sounds like youre proposing to me
(09:56) to queenie:
Take my virtual hand in marriage, Queenie.
(09:57) from queenie:
get on your knees then
(09:58) to queenie:
It's one knee, not a sexual act.
(10:00) from queenie:
you dont know how i want you to propose
(10:01) from queenie:
a girl has needs
(10:05) to queenie:
You're going to give me a heart attack one day.
(10:06) from queenie:
oh good they fucked off
(10:06) to queenie:
You didn't glare at them, did you?
(10:08) from queenie:
they deserved it
(10:08) from queenie:
if i wanted to be their friend
(10:09) from queenie:
i wouldve said so
(10:11) to queenie:
You can't say you don't deserve your title.
(10:11) from queenie:
you know what
(10:12) from queenie:
fuck you
(10:14) to queenie:
I love you, too.
(10:16) from queenie:
fucking gross
(10:16) from queenie:
but right
(10:20) to queenie:
I'm touched you're finally admitting our love.
(10:21) from queenie:
youre saved as kurtzie in my phone
(10:24) to queenie:
How sweet.
(10:25) from queenie:
im getting rid of the heart
(10:25) from queenie:
you can go back to being alone again
(10:25) from queenie:
ive gotta go
(10:27) to queenie:
Ah, yes. Being alone is my favourite hobby.
(10:27) to queenie:
Have fun. Don't glare at Brian's sweetheart.
(14:02) from queenie:
theyre making me pose with ice
(14:03) from queenie:
why is this happening to me
(14:37) to queenie:
Today?
(14:49) from queenie:
not today
(14:49) from queenie:
but i accepted the job
(14:50) from queenie:
so that nickname is never going away
(14:52) to queenie:
I have a question.
(14:53) from queenie:
what you want
(14:56) to queenie:
If I searched for ice queen models, would you come up?
(14:59) from queenie:
youre literally the worst stalker
(15:04) to queenie:
There can only be one Brian.
(15:06) from queenie:
you know what
(15:06) from queenie:
why dont you actually do that
(15:07) from queenie:
if you manage to work it out then ill be able to use your art
(15:07) from queenie:
as my profile pictures without ruining it
(15:07) from queenie:
lets see if youre an idiot or not
(15:11) to queenie:
Are you sure?
(15:12) to queenie:
You said it's more fun if I don't know who you are.
(15:15) from queenie:
well now i really fucking like you
(15:15) from queenie:
which is weird
(15:16) from queenie:
youre literally a mess
(15:16) from queenie:
with all that paint and shit
(15:17) from queenie:
but youre cute and that frustrates me
(15:19) to queenie:
That's sounding awfully close to a confession, you know.
(15:26) from queenie:
dm me to arrange a fucking date then
(15:31) to queenie:
What?
(15:32) from queenie:
times ticking loser
The main name that popped up with Chloé Bourgeois.
It made a lot of sense, really, and the fact that he'd passed over it and assumed that it wouldn't be her seemed amusing after the tiny amount of time he spent searching to find out who she was. Chloé Bourgeois was a successful model that was known for her neutral expressions, glares, and pouts from the articles that were on the first page, and looking in the related images section proved just as much from the limited professional photos that had her smiling in them.
Blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin that he'd been drawing for weeks was staring back at him. Liking her when she was anonymous was one thing, but finding out that she wasn't kidding about
Her assistant was named Sabrina, too.
If he'd searched for the reference pictures of her himself, he would've surely worked it out weeks ago—
But it was a show of trust.
(17:02) to queenie:
Did you really pay me to draw you?
(17:14) from queenie:
lets be real here
(17:15) from queenie:
it was a crime that you werent already
(17:15) from queenie:
im beautiful
(17:17) to queenie:
You weren't even being sneaky about it.
(17:21) from queenie:
i told you
(17:21) from queenie:
youre the worst stalker
(17:24) to queenie:
Or I trust you too much.
(17:25) from queenie:
you couldve found out by yourself
(17:26) from queenie:
with the info you know about me
(17:31) to queenie:
That would've counted as going behind your back.
(17:46) from queenie:
but now you know what my back looks like
(17:50) to queenie:
Because you let me, yes.
(17:52) from queenie:
you have consent issues
(17:52) from queenie:
do i need to say yes to everything
(17:55) to queenie:
It's rude to assume, isn't it?
(17:56) from queenie:
nathaniel kurtzieberg
(17:56) to queenie:
That's not my name.
(17:57) from queenie:
this is me giving you permission for everything
(17:57) from queenie:
now hurry up and follow my accounts
(17:58) from queenie:
i want to be spacey and tell everyone you made it
(17:58) from queenie:
get ready to be popular
(18:03) to queenie:
That sounds ominous.
(18:04) from queenie:
were supposed to be arranging our date
(18:09) to queenie:
I thought you were kidding about that.
(18:10) from queenie:
i told you
(18:11) from queenie:
i cant be with someone unless they laugh at my jokes
(18:15) to queenie:
Laughing at your jokes shouldn't be the only requirement for a date with you, Chloé.
(18:15) from queenie:
stop being cute
(18:16) from queenie:
its gross.
-x-
(13:42) from chloé:
so how do you feel about meeting the words third sexist woman
(13:42) from chloé:
tho it should still really be first
(13:43) to chloé:
You're late.
(13:44) from chloé:
fucking chill man
(13:44) from chloé:
im in traffic
(13:45) to chloé:
Do you want me to order for you?
(13:55) from chloé:
no itll get cold
(13:55) from chloé:
order for me when im there
(13:56) from chloé:
so i can look pretty at the table
(13:56) from chloé:
and you can see what youre missing
(13:58) to chloé:
We're getting coffee.
(13:59) from chloé:
call it a date you coward
(13:39) to chloé:
You might not like me in person.
(14:00) from chloé:
ive known you for over half a year
(14:01) from chloé:
im pretty sure i like your weird ass nath
(14:02) to chloé:
I'm quieter in person.
(14:02) from chloé:
youre quiet texting
(14:03) from chloé:
i send like three more texts to your one
(14:03) from chloé:
im prepared to do all the talking
(14:03) from chloé:
we can talk about me
(14:05) to chloé:
Your favourite subject.
(14:06) from chloé:
this is why im meeting you
(14:06) from chloé:
for your famous one liners
(14:08) to chloé:
So what made you decide to stop being so mysterious?
(14:09) from chloé:
you showed me how good you are with your hands
(14:12) to chloé:
I hate you. I choked on my drink.
(14:13) from chloé:
thats what you get for ordering without me?
(14:13) to chloé:
Oh, no. Not the punctuation.
(14:14) from chloé:
i hope you choke again
(14:15) to chloé:
That's just rude.
(14:17) from chloé:
do you know whats fucking rude
(14:17) from chloé:
i got you thousands of followers
(14:18) from chloé:
and you havent even said thank you
(14:20) to chloé:
I'm busy being intimidated. Some are already asking me about commissions.
(14:21) from chloé:
make that cash so you can pay for some of our dates
(14:23) to chloé:
Plural? We haven't even had one yet.
(14:25) from chloé:
stop being insecure
(14:25) from chloé:
i think youre cute
(14:26) from chloé:
and that means a lot coming from me
(14:27) to chloé:
When you say it like that, it loses the meaning.
(14:28) from chloé:
wait until you see my smug face
(14:29) to chloé:
I'm a bit terrified, honestly.
“Nathaniel.”
Startled, he looked up from his phone, lips parting silently as he saw Chloé standing in front of them. As he hadn't watched interviews of her online, it was his first time hearing her voice, but at least he recognised her immediately; it would've been hard to mistake someone who's pictures he'd been recreating for weeks.
He stood up, chair making a scraping noise on the floor, and nervously put his phone away into his pocket as he replied, “I—hi.”
With the flat shoes that she was wearing, she came up to his nose. From all the joking that they'd done, it felt a whole lot real when he was able to see her mannerisms and connect them to the sharp comments that he'd been reading for so long. Putting a face to his closest friend had been confusing at first, but even more so when he saw her in motion.
Her smile reached her blue-coloured eyes as she laughed, tucking some hairs behind her ear as she did so. “You're just as awkward as I expected.”
“Sorry?”
“And tall, so sit down,” Chloé said, gesturing to his chair. “Let me go get our drinks first. I already ordered while texting you, so it won't be too long.”
In the time she was gone, collecting a tray with two mugs on it, he realised what was different about her. There was a softness that he hadn't seen in most pictures; make-up less dramatic, hair not curled or styled perfectly, nor was she dressed in stiff clothing that wouldn't look good outside of a shoot.
When she returned, Nathaniel quietly thanked her as he accepted the drink, surprised to find that it was his favourite.
She was looking at him with raised eyebrows when his gaze flickered back to her. “What?” Chloé demanded, adjusting the sunglasses on top of her head. “I'm perfectly capable of remembering things.”
He snorted. “You forgot Sabrina's birthday.”
“That's because she's evil,” she muttered, continuously stirring her drink with the small spoon they'd been each provided with. “And I like you, unlike her. She's a peppy spawn of pure evil that's frustratingly positive all the time.”
There wasn't any difference between what she was saying and what she'd usually type to him. “I'm sure she'd be happy to hear that.”
“She's happy even if I tell her to fuck off,” Chloé scoffed. “Anyway, I don't want to talk about her today. I'm here to see whether you're capable of being with me.”
He blinked. “I don't know what you mean with that.”
“You said I need more requirements for dating than just laughing at me jokes, so I thought of some,” she said matter-of-factly, lifting her mug up with two hands and taking a sip. “Are you ready to hear them?”
It wasn't that intimidating, surprisingly. When he'd thought of sitting across from Chloé Bourgeois, it had made his stomach churn uncomfortably, but from actually talking to her, it wasn't that nerve-wracking. Sure, he was anxious as always, but the things she was saying were reassuring him that he hadn't come out to meet a stranger; she was his friend, even if her jawline was sharp as her words.
Nathaniel cleared his throat. “Okay?” It came out sounding like a question. “I mean, yes.”
Holding a hand up, Chloé slowly raised one finger as she looked at him. “Well, for one, they have to be clean.”
He didn't know whether that was supposed to be a jab or not, but he didn't have to look down to check whether there was paint on his clothing—he'd made sure there wasn't beforehand.
“Their hair has to be presentable, too.” A second finger went up. “Having a hairband on their wrist would be nice.”
His was clearly visible from the lack of a jacket in the summer weather.
“Have to have a talent of some sort; being good with their hands would work—”
Nathaniel felt his face growing warm as he interrupted her to ask, “Are you doing this on purpose?”
“Oh, that blush is nice.” She grinned, hands dropping to cup her mug for the unnecessary warmth.
“You're the worst,” he replied with a laugh, running a nervous hand through his hair,pushing the long fringe aside. “I already told you that I get flustered easily.”
She nodded, the smug smile still there. “Yes, but you didn't tell me that your ears go red, too.”
“Is that really important?” Nathaniel asked, a bit surprised that she'd noticed immediately. “It doesn't happen often.”
“Oh?” The corner of her eyes crinkled. “It's a special occasion that I was able to see it, then?”
He leaned back against the seat. “You're being very predatory right now.”
Chloé laughed, the sound a bit high-pitched. “I'm trying to flirt with you, asshole.”
Glad that he hadn't been drinking at that moment, Nathaniel fidgeted in his seat as he admitted, “I wasn't sure.”
“We're on a date for a reason,” she easily replied, taking a sip of her drink, looking composed and not at all embarrassed, a complete contrast from him. “Now that you know that I'm real, I want our second date to be somewhere private.”
His voice came out a bit strangled as he repeated, “Second?”
“What?” She batted her eyelashes on purpose. “There's only so many ways I can make you blush in public before it's classed as indecent. I'd rather avoid the scandal, thank you.”
“We haven't even finished our first,” he pointed out. “And what if you don't want to—”
Chloé interrupted him with a pointed look as she crossed her arms. “I already know you, Nathaniel Kurtzieberg.”
“It's even worse when you say it!” he exclaimed, an incredulous laugh escaping him.
“See? Look at that,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “Just because I don't know what you sound like when you stub your toe doesn't mean you're a completely mystery.”
The same could be said for her, but the doubtful thoughts were still justified. “I'd rather you never hear that.”
“Oh, I will eventually.” She grinned, pushing her chair back—no awful squeaking like he'd had—and approaching his side of the table as she fished out her cell phone. “Now take a picture with me, Nath.”
“What?” he spluttered, a bit surprised from the sudden change of subject. “Why?”
She rolled her eyes, pushing him further over his chair so he was only taking up half of it. Her thigh was touching his as she settled down and said, “So I can show my followers my new boyfriend.”
“...There's a serious lack of asking going on here,” Nathaniel muttered quietly, aware of how his complexion must've looked as their shoulders touched as well from her trying to find a good pose.
She patted his thigh. “That doesn't sound like rejection to me.”
“It's more like I'm convinced this is a fever dream, honestly,” he replied.
“Would I convince you this is real if I kissed you?” Chloé asked, head tilted as she turned to look at him with a smile. “Because I can definitely do that.”
He tried not to laugh as he said, “I don't kiss on the first date.”
“I'm still kissing your cheek for a photo,” she answered, not sounding put off. “Now smile and look like a functioning human being for a bit.”
Her lips felt cool against his cheek.