Chapter Text
Lukas puts his phone on a charging panel as soon as he crosses the threshold of his apartment. He finished paperwork for the upcoming moving process earlier than he originally thought it would take, so he got home early in the evening. He figures that he still has time and energy for a few drinks in downtown. He’s about to hit the shower, when the phone screen lights up. Not bothering to even look at the screen he continues walking towards the shower room, but then he hears the ringtone, and it’s not Philip’s.
∼
Helen is lying on her side in her bed, legs curled up to her stomach. She’s holding her phone to her ear and she has a resemblance of a sad smile on her face. She’s twisting her wedding band on her left hand with a thumb. Gabe is downstairs, so she doesn’t feel too weirded out doing this.
It takes quite some time to reach him, she isn’t even surprised. After all, seeing Philip blowing up the phone with countless trials, she would stop paying attention to the callers as well. To show that she is not Philip going to great lengths to reach his ex, she is calling from her work number, one that Lukas knows is out of Philip's reach. Before she gets a chance to say Hi, she hears steps in the corridor. Visiting Philip walks past her room’s open door, holding the delivery boy’s hand. She got used to seeing him near the house whenever Philip was around, although she has never seen him inside the house before, and it took her by surprise, not to speak of all the hand-holding. Philip must’ve lost his brain already with all the calls and plans regarding Lukas. Whatever that is, she doesn’t have time to think much of it. She hops off the bed and closes the door. The guys don’t look in her direction as she does that.
“Hey kid,” she finally says, getting back on the bed. “Lukas, how are you? I—I know I shouldn't intervene, and I won’t. But I wanna say my goodbyes personally. If—if only you don’t find it awkward—” Her voice breaks. She hears laughter coming from one of the bedrooms nextdoor. “Dinner on me. What do you say? I have some errands to run in the city tonight, so I will be nearby.”
They are sitting in a shitty little diner on a freeway, but it feels incredible to find something this random, and the burgers here are to die for. Lukas decided to give Helen a ride, she hasn’t been offered one in ages. They are laughing and indulging in their food, and Helen is leaning on him. She’s wearing a simple, rather ugly, dare he say, coat, definitely not trying to impress anybody. Even though the encounter does feel like out of the blue, Lukas doesn’t find it too strange. She used to be his mother-in-law after all, in so many years he has learned a lot about her, and she has welcomed him in her family.
She’s looking thankful that Lukas agreed to meet. Seems like it has seriously lifted her mood, judging by the first part of their rendezvous when she wasn’t all that cheerful. They talk about Gabe for a bit, and although she believes that things with Gabe and herself will eventually get better because they love each other, she quickly changes the subject. At one point she reaches inside her backpack and takes out a piece of paper. It’s a photo of her and Gabe with Lukas and Philip all posing and smiling.
“I really wanted you to have one of us. Sorry, I didn’t have any of just us two, but you’re so happy in this one. I want you to remind yourself occasionally how happy you can be,” she says and gives Lukas a slow back rub. “Listen, you lost some weight, it’s noticeable. You got pale.”
Lukas nods at her commentary. He knows, he’s not in a good place yet. Looking after himself has never been so hard. Helen continues then.
“I really like you, Lukas. So sorry it didn’t work out for you two.”
Lukas just smiles at her in silence.
“Hey, it really doesn’t matter to me what happened between you and who is guilty. I want to stay in touch and hopefully visit you in Tel Aviv once,” she adds quickly.
“Just once?” he laughs.
The diner is almost empty save two truckers sitting at the counter.
“Lukas, please, please, please take care,” Helen says, running her hand through Lukas’ hair.
∼
Lukas got to the airport very early and is not rushing to get his bags checked in. He’s rolling his humongous luggage behind him slowly, looking around. He’s restless. The building is packed, it’s loud in here, but he really hopes to find the one face among thousands of others. After half an hour of roaming around in vain it doesn’t seem plausible that Philip would come. Why would he? Deep inside Lukas hopes that Philip won’t. It would mean that he was able to let go, possibly wishing him death from a terrorist attack on board, but it doesn’t matter. Perhaps Philip is already in search of some creative new ways to channel now vacated energy.
“Lukas!” he hears a muted scream. Lukas gets in full alert mode and is waiting for another one, so he can track the direction where it’s coming from. It was Philip, unmistakably Philip. But Lukas can’t see him anywhere.
“Lukas!”
There are doors everywhere, it could be coming from behind one of them. Soon Lukas learns that he was right. Philip’s face is peeking from behind a slightly opened door of a security station. God, he is so drunk! His face is red and wet with tears, and he’s screaming, making terrifying faces. Obviously posing a danger by airport security standards, he is held from behind by a guard. He’s trying to wiggle out.
“Let me go, I need to see him!”
The security guard’s eyes meet Lukas’, who is already moving in the direction of the station. The guard then lets go of Philip, and he runs towards Lukas stumbling and shaking.
∼
Devin takes a sip of his beer, looking at the night sky. It’s his third one already, and if it wasn’t Philip’s initiative, he would be feeling super uncomfortable by now. Heck, he doesn’t know how he’s gonna drive home. The conversation they are having is not pushed by any means, exactly the other way around. Philip pushed his buttons just the right way to make Devin talk openly about things he otherwise wouldn’t imagine opening up about to strangers.
“I know that feeling, I also got cheated on,” Devin says. “The pain is still living in here,” he taps himself on the chest. “But I also ask myself where did I go wrong. Why couldn’t we talk it through, you know?” He turns his head to look at Philip and smiles kindly.
∼
“Lukas, it doesn’t matter! Nothing matters! I want you back! I want you home! We will make this work!”
Philip is speaking fast, slurring, clearly having so many more things to say. Just as Lukas feared.
Lukas is silent. He looks at Philip saddened and drops his head down, closing his eyes and closing the distance between them, letting Philip embrace him, while Lukas’ forehead rests on his shoulder.
“No, it’s too late,” Lukas whispers. He is purposefully keeping his voice monotonous, otherwise he risks trailing off and losing his point, making the whole conversation useless.
Philip’s mouth is trembling, the look of realization that this is actually happening growing on his face. He hears Lukas grasp for air and feels his body shaking.
“I’m glad you came though,” Lukas mutters and lifts his head up. “Philip, here.”
He reaches into his jacket’s inner pocket and takes out two tiny boxes. They seem like those silly couples charms you can find at Forever 21, but the quality and the packaging suggest that they are from a real jewelry store.
“It’s for Helen and Gabe. I hope they will eventually stop fighting. I would really want that.”
Philip is looking at him still in disbelief, very confused, fear in his eyes. Lukas doubts Philip processed anything he just said. Nonetheless Philip takes the boxes slowly. Lukas continues, his voice betraying him. He starts sobbing.
“I brought flowers to your mother’s grave. Philip—” Lukas squeezes Philip’s shoulder. “You will be fine, you are strong, I know. But I can’t forgive myself and—and I don’t want you to try to understand my position, my—my situation, because I really don’t deserve it.”
Philip finally snaps out of his frozen state and grabs him by the wrists, squeezing very hard.
“Lukas, please—” He holds a hand to Lukas’ cheek, but he shakes his head, turning around.
“Go. Go, Philip. Trust me, long goodbyes will make it only worse.”
It takes Lukas enormous amount of self-control to turn around and start moving.
“No!”
Philip starts running after him, his reaction delayed by a few seconds, but the cautious guard goes after him and forces him on his knees, jewelry boxes dropping on the ground and sliding in different directions.
“No! No! Lukas! LUKAS!”
Philip is screaming from the top of his lungs, pushing and tugging, trying to escape the grip. Everyone, everything around him is quiet. Hundreds of eyes are watching him. These are the looks of sorrow and empathy. Time has stopped, only one figure still in motion.
Lukas just keeps walking. Never in his life has a task so easy seemed so impossibly hard.
He passes through the security check in the distance, flowing through the crowd like he is not there and it’s just his legs carrying him on autopilot. After he’s already behind the glass gate he gives in and looks back for just a second, but this is enough for Philip to see pain in his eyes, even from this far. Philip mouths something, but Lukas is not looking anymore.
He disappears behind people’s backs.
∼ ∼ ∼