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Taehyung didn't care. How foreign, dirty hands would grab onto him, how they would mark him up with colors of blue and purple, as if he was a blank canvas. He simply did not care how his body would ache, making him unable to move for days and even for weeks. How his body would be beaten up, marked up, throwing him into utter submission. Choking him from the inside as if he was drowning on a large suffocating lake.
He didn’t care whether if his body was tainted.... He did not Because he was too numb to even care or feel anything anymore. Taehyung’s first blowjob was when he was just 4, his uncle telling him that they’ll just play a nice game. He choked and swallowed, and his uncle reassured him that he’ll be good at it with practice. Taehyung was 10 when he was raped and molested, he was called pretty. His classmates just wanted to touch him and when he refused, they hit him. They beat him up until he couldn’t move. They would gingerly strip his clothing off, like peeling a banana, smooth and easy. That was the first time he felt it.
Taehyung was 12 when it happened, he let his own teacher grope him so he could pass. It started when he was 14 when he was taken advantage off, and this time it was his own stepfather. When his mother left for a business trip, his stepfather knocked, and he never knew until he heard his own bedroom door shut. He had to endure his stepfather’s unseen touches until he was 18, when he finally got to move for college. But it was no better then what he left. People were still the same, they still treated him the way the others did.
Those countless pain led him to this, He found himself standing at the edge of the school’s rooftop, his hands gripping on the railings behind his back. Looking down beneath the structure, letting the evening sun shine upon him in honey like glow. He doesn’t care anymore as he continues to look down. He was 20 when he decided to end his life.
He thought of counting but he convinced himself that he was just buying himself time. The bruises in his back made from last night events doesn’t bother him, nor does he care about it. He widely knows how much damage was inflicted to him but still, he pushed himself to stand up from his bed. Even if he had to crawl out to his door.
The wind gently pushes his bangs from his eyes before settling down on his forehead, long locks mostly covering his swollen eyes. If he lets go, then he’ll finally sleep. If he does sleep, he’ll be finally be free.
Freedom is what he wants. Is what he craves for. It was something he would get within a choice. Life hasn’t given him much choice so why bother looking for it now.
Taehyung doesn’t care. He doesn’t care anymore.
He was about to let go, not even noticing that the door of the rooftop was slightly ajar.
And as soon as he did….
----
Taehyung jolts up, his face morphed in horror, his body drenched in sweat. He scrambles for the sheets to cover him, looking around like a madman within the darkness of the room. Tears were streaming down his face, muttering a series of No and Jeongguk, No! .
A hand startles him, taking him back to reality. The hand felt warm on his bare shoulder, it felt so safe, with just a single touch he was sure that he was assured and safe and constantly it made him calm down. The hand disappeared making him whimper in need.
“Angel, what’s wrong?” A pair of hands slid in his waist, the same warmth now engulfing his entire back. He immediately melts back.
He whimpers, tugging the sheets to his face, wiping his tears roughly with the material. Making the latter behind him frown. “Tae baby, you’ll hurt yourself. Stop that” He continues with a raspy voice raw from sleep. Those warm hands wrapping themselves on his wrist to pull it down from his face. “Nightmares again?”
“I…” Taehyung choked, gazing down on the hand wrapped around his wrist. Softly letting out a puff of air. “Y-you weren’t there… Jeonggukie. You weren’t there”
The man doesn’t speak but only pulls him closer, prepping kissing on the bare skin of his shoulder. Encouraging him to elaborate “I … I fell. Alone”
Jeongguk doesn’t need to know any further explanation of what his angel was talking about. He knew exactly what it was.
“I’m here now Tae…Shhh. It’s all okay, its gonna be all okay” Jeongguk hushes, tracing small patterns on his hip bones, trying to soothe the sobbing male.
At the age of 20, Taehyung tried to kill himself, Jeongguk at the age of 19, flung the floor top’s door open to save him.
“You’re not alone Taehyung” Jeongguk continues to hush him, rocking him slowly “I'm right here, i'm just right here”
Some say it was a miracle for the both of them to survive the fall from the rooftop, Jeongguk said he was lucky to grab hold of a tree branch before they could even hit the ground, Taehyung said it was impossible to have happened but Jeongguk was very athletic for the impossible. It's been 5 years since the incident and in that 5 years, Jeongguk made a vow to him, that he’ll save Taehyung in every way possible. Even if it takes him a lifetime to do so.
And for that moment Taehyung never felt hope in his entire life as he held into that hand.
----
“Gukkie?”
“Yes Taehyung?”
“Did you regret it…?”
“Regret what, sunshine?”
“....Saving me?”
“...You’re asking me whether if i regret saving My life… and dream? I think not”
“....You’re such a sap, dummy”
"Now Tae, i have a question for you.."
"What is it?"
"Did you regret holding onto me?"
"...Of course not"
"Then will you be willing to hold onto me until the end?"
"What kind of a questi-"
"Will you say yes then?"