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Ochako was the first one to spot the deck. Once she saw it, she knew she had to play. The question was: who would she ask to play with her? Glancing around, her eyes landed first on Kirishima Eijirou. He was a level-headed, straight-forward guy, but Ochako knew that he could have an absolutely filthy sense of humor. Next to him, curled up against his shoulder, was his boyfriend, Kaminari Denki. The blonde wasn"t the smartest, but he was a good guy. Her lips quirked up, as she remembered how Kaminari had lost a bet. Since he had lost the bet, he was forced to speak in nothing but sexual innuendos. If he didn"t, Kirishima refused to date the poor boy for an entire month. She could easily remember the look on the electric boy"s face as he chatted with his classmates, with the rest of his group of friends laughing at him from their desks. She nodded to herself. I will invite them to join me. But Cards Against Humanity wasn"t fun unless you had a big group of people.
The other people in the room consisted of Iida, her good friend. Ochako wrinkled her nose at the thought of inviting such a pure-hearted, rule-following boy to play such a disastrous game like this. He wouldn"t approve. There was also Todoroki Shouto, who was looking at his phone, as serious as ever. She wondered exactly what he was doing, but she thought about it. With such a serious attitude, it would be a rather strange game for Todoroki, but it would be worth it. The only other girls in the room were Ashido Mina, who Ochako didn"t know too well, but she knew the pink-skinned girl was hilarious, and Asui Tsyuu, one of Ochako"s closest friends. Her and Tsuyu"s eyes met, and she indicated for the two of them to come closer.
As the girls gathered around Ochako, two more boys walked in. They happened to be Shinsou Hitoshi, from General Studies, and Monoma Neito, from Class 1-B. Shinsou, Ochako liked. He was a good friend of Kirishima"s, and Deku"s. He was a deadpan, always exhausted boy, but he functioned fine. The other one, Monoma, she worried for. He seemed to be incredibly unstable, similar to Bakugo Katsuki, another person in her class. When the other two girls had enclosed Ochako in a circle, hiding her from view, she held up the box of cards.
Ashido immediately gasped, her eyes lighting up. "We have to play, Uraraka! Please tell me that you plan on playing with everyone in the room!" She yelled, making excited hand movements, causing everyone in the common room to look over at the gathered group of girls, including the boys who weren"t in their class. Tsuyu tilted her head, putting her hand to her chin. She let out a soft croak and nodded along to Ashido"s outburst.
Ochako nodded and moved so the boys could see her. She held up the box, and gasps were heard. "Cards Against Humanity, anyone? Don"t worry," She said, as Shinsou and Monoma started looking dejected. "You"re invited too. We need as many people as we can get. Who wants to start as the Card Czar?" She asked, walking over to the nearest table. Iida stood up, looking stern, while the other boys excitedly grabbed chairs and sat down. Todoroki moved slower than the others, with Shinsou after him, and Ashido and Tsuyu sat down after them.
As Kaminari took the deck from her hands and began to shuffle, Iida finally made his move. "I do not approve of this game, Uraraka! It is a game for people who are older than us! We do not have adult supervision! This is a bad idea!" He said, moving his hands firmly. Ochako made eye contact with him but said nothing. This eventually flustered him, and he sat down. "I will play as well. You said you needed more players, yes?" He asked, and Ochako giggled as he blushed when he read his cards.
Kaminari flipped over the first black card, as he was the Card Czar. "We"re playing to 5. Alright, here it is: I never truly understood ___ until I encountered ___. Oh boy, this is gonna be fun! Players, pick your cards!" He said and closed his eyes.
Quickly, Ochako looked over her cards and threw down the gauntlet by placing her cards first, before anyone else. When everyone had placed down their cards, Kirishima tapped Kaminari, who opened his eyes, and looking over them, he groaned and smiled. "I never truly understood consensual sex until I encountered necrophilia," He said, and both Iida"s and Todoroki"s mouth dropped open. Everyone else snickered. "Alright, that was a good one. Next: I never truly understood an unhinged Ferris wheel heading towards the sea until I encountered a windmill full of corpses. Haha, very funny," Kaminari said with a straight face, while Monoma and Todoroki snickered.
Ochako made a mental note. Monoma and Todoroki like dark humor. "I never truly understood anal beads until I encountered exactly what you"d expect-" Kaminari broke off laughing. "These are too good, guys! And we still have more! I never truly understood incest until I encountered pulling out. You guys are horrible. I"m not reading anymore. Incest wins," He said.
With a small smile, Shinsou leaned over and grabbed the card, getting squawks of disbelief from everyone gathered. "What." It was a statement made by Monoma, and the purple-haired boy just shook his head without saying a word. Kaminari gave him the card, and practically shoved the deck of black cards towards him, and picked out up his own deck of cards.
"Guess I"m the new Card Czar." Shinsou scratched the back of his head, and put his deck of cards down, face-down. Holding eye contact with everyone gathered at the table for a couple seconds, Shinsou held up the new card so everyone could read it. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives children ___," He said, and closed his eyes, following the procedure.
Ochako watched as Kirishima slapped his card down, with Monoma close behind him. Kaminari carefully placed his down, and Ashido carelessly threw hers onto the pile. Todoroki shrugged over his cards and put a card down. Iida was making a disgusted face as he put his card down, and then, as the last person, Ochako smiled as she put her card down. Monoma poked Shinsou, who opened his eyes and flipped the cards over. "I"m going to regret ever playing this game with you guys," He said, sighing. He looked straight at Ochako as he said it, but she only shrugged in return. She hadn"t forced them to play with her, only asked them politely if they had wanted to play.
"Instead of coal, Santa now gives children obesity," Shinsou reads, and puts the card down. He didn"t look amused. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives children AIDS," He reads with a slight smile. He"s tough to crack! Ochako thought, now worried about her card. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives children gingers. Wow, really funny. I totally forgot to laugh." He blinks down at the card and moved onto the next one. All the faces around the table were terrified now. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives children multiple stab wounds. Better, but not quite," Shinsou mutters, glancing over to the remaining cards. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives children a defective condom. Sex jokes. Hilarious."
Todoroki, on the same level as deadpanning as the purple-haired boy, snorted with laughter. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives children date rape." There was no comment after that one, as Shinsou looked over the gathered group again. Iida"s face was bright red, and he looked like Kaminari had blown a fuse in his brain. "Instead of coal, Santa now gives children a lifetime of sadness," Shinsou read, and suddenly began to laugh. Envy shot through Ochako, as that wasn"t her card. It was possible to be anyone"s card. She saw the others sneaking glances at the others, with the exception of Todoroki and Iida. "Well. I think the winner speaks for itself. A lifetime of sadness indeed." He picked up the black card and looked around the table for the owner of the card.
Ashido leaned over and tugged the card out of his hands, earning a smile from Shinsou. "Thank you, my good friend. I will be the next Card Czar, then." She took the pile of cards and placed them in front of her. A hooded figure stumbled into the doorway, making everyone jump, and turn towards the sound. Panic shot through Ochako as she scrolled through all possible options for this figure. A villain, a Nomu, some random person, a rapist, or it could be one of their classmates. The collected group stood up and got into fighting positions.
The figure was covered in a dark green hoodie with dark grey sweatpants. The face was towards the ground, so none of them could see anything. The figure was bulky, and their shoulders were wide. Thick, scarred hands were pressed against their side, which shown red around the edges. The figure coughed, and blood dripped onto the carpet. They stared at it, before letting out a quiet groan. "Shit." They wiped at their mouth, and Ochako blinked her eyes.
"Deku?!" She cried, running over to him. He collapsed in her arms, breathing heavily. "What happened to you?!" She asked, looking him over. The hood was pushed back in the struggle, revealing his hair was greasy and uncared for, bags under his eyes, and he looked incredibly sick. He smiled at her instead, standing up again.
"I"m fine. It"s just a little internal bleeding. Right, Tomura? It"s totally like it wasn"t your fault we got into this mess in the first place, right?" The freckled boy looked back at his companion, who ducked into the room. Ochako gasped. It was the villain who had attacked them earlier that year, Shigaraki Tomura. She jumped in front of Deku, protecting him from the villain"s sight. A chuckle emitted from the green-haired boy. "Uraraka, it"s fine. He"s with me. Ain"t that right, Masturbation Man?" He asked, and everyone quickly turned their heads to look at Deku.
A snort came from the blue-haired man as he stepped into the room. "I would be in you, dumbass. Or should I call you BDSM Bitch?" He asked, staring down at Deku, who laughed. The joke took a moment to sink in. When it did, Iida spat out the water he was drinking, and everyone else"s jaws dropped. Shigaraki stuck out his hand, careful to offer only four fingers, and Deku took it, and the villain pulled him up. "Well, if you"ll move- Is that Cards Against Humanity? "Zuku, we"re playing. I wanna beat these heroes!" He said, waving his hands around aimlessly.
Ochako watched in horror as Deku calmly made his way over to the table and sat down. Shigaraki pulled up a chair behind him and sat next to the future hero. "Deal us a hand," Deku ordered, and the gathered group stared at him.
""Zuku, they"re pondering your innocence." Shigaraki wrapped his arm around the boy"s neck in a friendly gesture.
"I wonder why- I know you. No one who knows you on a personal level is innocent."
"I hate you."
"You know you love me."
"Fuck you."
"Later." Deku turned back to the table, the banter between the two of them dying down. By this time, Ashido had dealt them cards. Before Deku could grab them, Shigaraki picked them up and dangled them over the younger boy"s head, taunting him. In return, Deku shoved him out of the chair and grabbed all the cards before they dropped to the ground. The man fell to the ground with a thud, the chair going down with him. A groan left the man as he laid on the floor, refusing to move. "Whose the Card Czar?" Deku asked, ignoring the villain. Ashido raised her hand, and Deku nodded at her.
The pink girl held up the next card. "___. It"s a trap! Oh shit," she said. Deku snorted and slapped a card down before Shigaraki jumped at the cards, hissing. Deku pushed him away, and they began to play fight. The rest of the group placed their cards down, and Kirishima tapped Ashido, who opened her eyes.
"Diversity. It"s a trap!" She read and began laughing. "Socks. It"s a trap!" She raised her eyebrows. "You know what, diversity wins. That shit was hilarious." Deku reached over and took the card, with squeaks of defeat from the others.
Deku wasted no time with the next card, refusing to say anything. Once he closed his eyes, the entire group looked at each other with disbelieving eyes. He played the winning card in a game that consists of being a terrible person, Ochako thought, and it seemed everyone shared that thought. And when he had to pick a card, he picked the most filthy card there was, which was surprisingly Todoroki"s card.
It was quickly revealed that Midoriya Izuku had a terribly dirty mind. And to top it off, he was proud of it. Looking down at the other players, the winner of the game laughed. "It"s much easier to play this game when you know who likes what jokes. Personally, I love the sex jokes," Deku said, and without another word, left the room, with Shigaraki trailing behind him.
Once he was out of earshot, everyone let out a sigh. "Holy shit- Midoriya is the worst person I have ever met!" Kaminari burst out, and everyone laughed. The others made similar comments.
Later, Ochako would hear from Deku"s neighbor that there had been many different noises coming from his room. The thought of the villain with Deku made Ochako shudder, but Deku knew what he was doing. He had made that apparent from the game.
Ochako knew what the life lesson was today:
Midoriya Izuku isn"t as innocent as everyone believes him to be.