Chapter Text
“Mellark! Mellark!” Peeta heard his name and walked toward the doctor waiting for him. Everything was white. The doctor’s robes, the walls, the lights, the bandage on his leg. Peeta got into a small clinic where three doctors were waiting for him.
“Take off your clothes, soldier.” A woman with a large face told him over her reading glasses.
He was a soldier now. They were the refugees for exactly two hours and twenty five minutes, which was the time of flight between Districts 12 and 13.
He was unconscious thanks to that horrible thing Mrs. Everdeen gave him when he made it with Katniss from Town. He woke up in a hospital bed with his leg covered in bandages but from a nurse’s words he was all right, ready to be checked in for the Army. She didn’t stay long to hear his questions about Katniss or anyone else.
So now he stood in his underwear, with three strangers looking at him like he was from another planet.
“All of your clothes,” the woman said and Peeta took off his boxers as well. He was not shy, he didn’t care about being stared at, but being measured, cupped and stared at was another thing. And to complete his humiliation they gave him a sterile little cup.
“I’m sorry, but what am I supposed to do with this?” he asked hoping that the anger in his voice could mask the fear he felt. The woman raised her eyebrow and a nurse lead him to a room that said ‘Transmitters’ and Peeta understood.
Forty minutes later they told him he was in ideal shape and his sperm count was ideal too. Then they shaved his hair and put a bracelet with the letter T on it. They ignored his questions about the District 12 citizens again.
“Your compartment is on the aisle M-14. Dinner will be served in a few minutes,so maybe you should go now to the common dining room,” a soldier told him and closed the examination unit door.
Peeta stood in the hallway, clad on his uniform and with the question of how to get there dancing on his lips. But an evacuation plan was perched every few meters so it was hard to get lost. Luckily he heard the sound of boots and voices coming his way.
He recognized some men from the Seam and he guessed the rest were from District 13, but they looked really young to be soldiers. The idea of sending fourteen year olds to war made Peeta’s stomach turn uncomfortably.
“Peeta?” Rory’s Hawthorne deep voice took him out of staring the line of men walking tiredly.
“Rory” Hi!,“ he said with relief when Rory approached him. His hair was cropped down too and just like Peeta his shoulders looked too big on his uniform.
“Katniss is okay,” he greeted him with a smile and a pat on the shoulder and Peeta breathed with relief.
“Thanks man,” he said walking with him. “What the hell is this?” he asked after a few minutes of pregnant silence.To his surprise Rory chuckled bitterly.
“Apparently District 13 existed, it has food and jobs that guarantee that you will make it alive,” he said with disgust and Peeta nodded, still trying to grasp everything that had happened in the last few hours.
“And medical care,“ Peeta said showing Rory the scar he had on his leg. He could vaguely recall an excruciating pain, like the bone was healing itself with fire during the night.
“Where’s Prim? or her mom? she might know where Katniss is,” Peeta asked Rory and he told him about the hospital. Peeta left without another word, feeling troubled at not knowing Katniss’s whereabouts. At least in 12 he knew that either she was at Madge’s house, the Hob or her house.
He walked back to the hospital as fast as his leg allowed him but panic rose within him when he heard heated voices around the corner.
“I can walk on my own, don’t touch me. Let go of me! ” Katniss’ voice echoed across the empty hallway. And then, the sound of a door being closed and a muffled grunt. Peeta reached the door and to his surprise he found Katniss and Haymitch Abernathy looking at each other with scowls on their faces.
“Katniss!” Peeta said in a breathy voice full of relief.
Katniss looked at him with surprise and relief plastered on her face. She walked toward him and threw her arms around his neck making them stumble a bit.
“You’re okay,” she said with a shaky breath and buried her face in his neck. Her clothes smelled like some kind of disinfectant but underneath it he could still smell the woods and the fresh earth on her. She had her hair in a tight braid and her uniform swam on her petite frame but she was okay. She is okay, Peeta told himself over and over again.
“Well,apparently the baker softened the huntress’ heart,” Haymitch’s amused voice made them break the hug and Katniss scowled at him. Nothing good came from that kind of scowl.
“Mr. Abernathy, it’s good to see you,” Peeta said with a nod and Haymitch chuckled.
“Always the charmer. It’s good to see you too, boy,” he said with a sad smile and nodded at them again before disappearing behind the hospital door.
Katniss dropped her forehead against his shoulder and sighed.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a low voice and Katniss nodded.He took her shoulders to look at her.
“How’s your leg?” she asked, looking at him and he shrugged.
“It hurts a bit,but at least I can walk.” She nodded and put her hands on his forearms.
“They cut your hair,” she mumbled,looking at him seriously and he chuckled. “I was worried about you, you have stop worrying me, Peeta,” she said in a small voice and he kissed her forehead. Seeing Katniss again reminded him about everything they had lost and his throat closed painfully with tears.
“I’m okay now,” he whispered not really trusting his voice.
“We should go,” Katniss said in a low voice when voices started to approach from the other side of the hospital door.
“What are still doing here?” Haymitch’s voice reached their ears.They turned around and found him standing with Finnick Odair next to him but this Finnick didn’t resemble at all to that confident man that all Panem knew.
His copper hair looked like twigs and his shoulders were sagged in a posture that looked like he was carrying the weight of the world over his shoulders. Even his tall and muscular body looked kind of pathetic wearing a white hospital gown.
His eyes were unfocused but nodded at Peeta and Katniss. His eyes light up a bit when his eyes landed on Katniss.
“You’re the girl with the bread,” he whispered and Katniss nodded with a blush.
“We should go boy.” Haymitch pat Finnick’s shoulder and they walked away from them.
“One of the District 13 wanted to put me in jail because I tried to take some bread for Prim once but Finnick told them to leave me alone,” she said rolling her eyes and Peeta smiled “I hate this place,” Katniss mumbled looking how both Victors disappeared behind a big door. It was like a sad contest of who looked more miserable.
“I know what you mean,” he whispered and brought her to his side putting his arm over her shoulders. She leaned into him circling his waist and he kissed her temple.
“We should go, I think they’re about to turn off the lights,” Katniss said and they walked hand in hand to his assigned room.
“So, what you been up to in here?” Peeta asked, enjoying the warmth of Katniss’ hands on his. She shrugged and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“They did tests on all of us.” she told him and he shuddered slightly and Katniss nodded while she showed him a small bracelet with a red ‘C’ on it.
“And the ‘C’ is for...?” he asked and Katniss frowned.
“I’m a carrier for them, it means that I’m fertile and I should start popping out babies to increase the population,” she muttered angrily and Peeta frowned.
“Are they forcing you?” he asked worriedly and to his relief she shook her head.
“No, of course not, I mean, I never wanted children, some stupid nurse saying stupid things is not going to change that,” her words were angry and Peeta stopped her.
“Hey, easy,” he said and she huffed in annoyance.
“I hate that someone is always making the calls for us, first the Capitol sending children to the Hunger Games and now District 13 saying that I need to have kids,” she kicked the plinth and huffed again, now crossing her arms over her chest.
“Katniss listen to me, they don’t own you, you can do whatever you want,” he whispered, placing his hands on her shoulders but she refused to look at him.
“I know...it’s just. Forget it,” she said, frowning. Peeta sighed but the words died on his mouth when he heard a group of people coming their way “We should go, your room is right around the corner,”
They walked in silence while conversations from the other District 13 citizens reached their ears. Katniss now seemed to be far away and he hated that. And to be honest with himself Katniss’ words on pregnancy had saddened him because if he let his imagination run free he could see a little girl that looked like Katniss and a little boy with his hair.
“So this is me,” he opened the door and Katniss shifted a bit on her feet, still looking upset.
Peeta opened his door and she was about to leave but he took her hand, pulled her inside his room and closed the door behind her, not even bothering to turn on the lights.
He took her face between his hands and kissed her for the first time since the bombing. Her lips quickly welcomed his, her arms sneaked around his shoulder and her hands found his hair as he pressed her back against the door. He heard how she hummed when his tongue parted her lips and after that time lost its meaning, because he could only think about how good it felt to have Katniss pressed against him again.
But she broke the kiss and Peeta rested his forehead on hers.
She switched the light on and looked at him frowning a bit.
“What?” he asked with a smile but she just shook her head and hugged him. He hugged her closely and rested his chin on the top of her head.
“I should go,” she whispered, her breath warm thought the stiff fabric of his shirt.
Stay.Stay.Stay.Stay .
He was desperate for this words to leave his mouth.
“Really?” was all he could muster. She looked at him and to his relief her eyes were calmer. He put some loose hairs behind her ear and tilted his head slightly with a bright smile. She was looking at him with a small smile on her lips.
“What?” she asked and Peeta shrugged.
“I get to do this,” he leaned and kissed her softly on the lips. She laughed against his lips and shook her head but he caught her in another hug longer that the previous.
“I should go,” she said again and this time she untangled from him with a sigh.
Peeta scratched the back of his neck and looked around.
“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m going to feel lonely in here,” he said casually and Katniss chuckled.
She opened the door and smiled at him.
“Nice try,” she laughed and Peeta shrugged.
“I had to,” he said with a small smile. Katniss bit her lower lip and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.
“Keep trying,” she whispered and her cheeks reddened slightly.
“I will,” he whispered back and without another word she left his small room.
His grin lasted him until he fell asleep but a loud knock on the door awoke him early in the morning, erasing all trace of happiness.
“Mellark you’re late, I’m not your goddamned nanny,” Gale Hawthorne’s face was too close to Peeta’s and his voice was way too loud for his sleepy brain. “I saved your ass today, but you have ten minutes to go to the training center,” and with that Gale walked away.
Peeta shook his head. What was going on? The schedule they tattooed on his forearm a few minutes later answered him. He had lost his breakfast and he was supposed to be training.
Two hour later felt his head like a boiling pot, his leg was killing him and his arms were sore. It was too much exercise for an empty stomach and a sleepy body. He had seen Katniss jogging with a group of women and he had turned his head so many times to look at her that he had bumped into a 14 year old kid that looked at him with a murderous expression. His sergeant had yelled at him and made him stay to do more exercise under the scorching sun.
Luckily for him the temporary tattoo on his forearm said he was supposed to have lunch now. Good, because he was starving.
“So you were late today,” Katniss voice near his ear made him jump slightly. He turned around and Katniss was looking at him with a small smile on her lips.
“What is this place?” he whispered on her ear, leaning his body against hers.
“Welcome to District 13 I guess,” she said, shrugging. They both grabbed a tray and to Peeta surprise he found Delly and Greasy Sae behind the serving counter. Delly dropped her spoon and launched at Peeta, crying with relief.
“I..thought..you were dead..and then Katniss told me...the hospital and I couldn’t see you-” she sobbed on his shoulder and Peeta hugged her closer. The entire dining hall was looking at the, especially the District 13 citizens. By the look on their faces the displays of affection were kept to a minimum.
“I’m fine Dell,I’m okay,” he whispered and she let go of him drying her tears. Peeta smiled at her and she smiled tearfully at him. He swallowed his tears when he remembered Bran’s face under the rubble of the bakery “So, you’re here now?” he asked her waving at the counter where Sae was serving Katniss. The old cook winked at him and he smiled at her.
“Yeah, they put me to help Sae, because they don’t need a shoemaker here,” she mumbled, tears on her eyes again. Peeta nodded and kissed her forehead “I should get back.”
Peeta noticed the line was too long for Sae alone so he joined Katniss and grabbed his tray.
They walked toward the table where they found Gale’s mom and siblings and Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. To his relief, Tim Cartwright was sitting next to Gale’s sister talking with her. His blue eyes lighted up when he saw Peeta and stood up to hug him, burying his face on his chest.
Peeta ran his hands through Tim’s shoulder blades and ruffled his locks.
“Hey buddy,” he said and Tim let go a small sob that made Peeta choke back a few tears. They had lost everything. They only had each other. He hugged him, willing himself not to cry, because even if their entire life they had shared like a sibling bond, he now felt the responsibility to take care of the Cartwrights. He looked over the table and luckily all made the effort of not looking at them. Tim let go of him, wiping his tears with the back of his hands and smiled sadly at Peeta. He noticed Tim had an angry cut over his eyebrow.
“What happened to you?” he asked, tilting his face and this time Prim answered.
“Actually, that was what saved them, he fell on the stairs of his house and Delly took him home to stitch him up when the first bomb fell on Town,”
Peeta nodded and Tim sat down again next to Gale’s sister. Katniss was looking at him and he sat next to her. She squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile.
To his relief the Hawthornes weren’t so hostile like Gale and they were much more open to start a conversation, even if it was about the peas in the stew or the clothes of the District.
As the days went by he found that having his meals with them felt good. He missed his family so much that the comfort of listening to Vick and Posy bicker, Rory rolling his eyes at them and Hazelle trying to put peace between them made him smile. It was weird because he felt the nostalgia of something that he never had, mainly because his mother had set a dark mood since he was a child. Tim and Delly had also blended into the family and Hazelle was like a mother hen that took so much care of them that Peeta felt relieved.
And then there was Katniss.
Peeta was conscious that he had idealized Katniss his entire life. Before officially knowing her, she was the girl that had caught his eyes when he was little and had become the star of every fantasy when he was teenager and adult. He made a picture of her, perfect on his mind. A perfect strong woman.
But reality had surprised him in a very pleasant way.
Sometimes she looked aloof and disinterested in everything but her own family but Peeta realized that it was her way of not letting people in so he was pretty pleased with himself, because Katniss was a constant on their new life in District 13, more than in District 12, where his mother always made him work double so he couldn’t see Katniss.
In District 13, they shared all of their meals together and she always was next to him, quietly smiling at him, but what he enjoyed the most about the time of the day was reflection time.
At first Katniss seemed hesitant about staying with Peeta during their time off before diner but after a few blushes some mumbled words and a bit of hesitation, Peeta suggested that she could spend that time with him. He figured that out when he realized she was stalling.
"Do you want to come in?" He asked in a rush with a blush and a small smile, scratching the back of his ear. Katniss swallowed and wet her lips. He followed her eyes and she was looking at his lips. She blushed when her eyes found his.
"Sure," she whispered and he opened his door.
When the silence of his room enveloped them, they looked at each other with sheepish smiles. Peeta was the first to move,sneaking his arms around her slim waist and she sighed into his neck, both of her arms around his shoulders.
He didn't know who started with the kiss, he didn't know when they had reach the small cot, but in that moment, all he knew was that Katniss Everdeen was under him, whimpering softly while he nibbled her neck softly. He was pretty sure that his cause of death would be those noises. Katniss sighed his name softly and he smiled against her skin.
“What?” she mumbled with hooded eyes.
“Nothing, I just really like being here with you.” he said, aware that she could feel how much he enjoyed it. She smiled, her grey eyes lighting up with his words.
“Even if we are in an underground prison?” she asked running a hand through his short hair and his cheek. He closed his eyes at her touch and nodded with a smile.Katniss liked to run her hands through his shaved hair.
"You and my not existing hair," he mumbled and Katniss chuckled "I mean it, my hair was my best asset," he joked and Katniss laughed
"What about your eyes?" She said and he smiled leaning his face against hers.
"You like my eyes," he said with a wink and Katniss rolled her eyes.
"They are okay, your eyelashes are really long too," she said trying to sound like it was not a big deal. He kissed her and she sighed against his lips.
"I think you're really pretty, generally speaking," he added and she laughed mockingly. "You suck at taking compliments,you know that, right?" he said and she rolled her eyes.
"Thanks?" She said and he hummed hesitantly, narrowing his eyes "Oh fine, yes, I'm radiant like the sun Peeta, is that okay?" she said and he hugged her tightly, hiding his face in her neck again.
"That's more like it," he sighed and Katniss chuckled running her hands through his lower back and neck.
Could he freeze this moment and live it forever, there in Katniss’s arms?
District 13 made sure to crush his idyllic thoughts with a gruesome regime of physical activity, nuclear history and an intense training in shooting, which Peeta absolutely hated. They didn’t have much time, but they used it well.
It was like they were living a parallel reality. While Finnick urged the districts to fight with him, the symbol of the rebellion, Peeta was learning every inch of Katniss’ body. She liked when he kissed her neck and run her hands over his chest. She liked his broad shoulders and he liked the look on her face after he made her come with his mouth and fingers. He was pretty sure that while District 13 citizens were raising their fists rebelliously, screaming for freedom, Peeta’s head was between Katniss’ legs and she was muffling her moans with his shirt.
So that was why, after almost four months of being in District 13 Katniss always sneaked in the night to sleep with him. but they were cautious; the last thing Katniss wanted was to get pregnant and the last thing District 13 wanted was to give them birth control.
That particular night Katniss was barely awake. She had arrived dragging her feet and nudged him a bit and Peeta on his slumber had moved, opening his arms to her and she had settled with her forehead against his chest.He rested his chin over her head tiredly.
“Everything okay?” he asked barely awake and he felt Katniss hummed a soft yes.
“I’m so tired, they killed us today at training,” she answered, her words a bit slurred. He nodded and hold her tighter. He kissed her forehead and she kissed his chest softly. Sleep engulfed them after this exchange. It felt good, like a nice habit, like something they would do for the rest of their lives, night after night.
If he knew that this was the last time he would be able to hold her like this, kiss her like this, he would have done other things, he would have said other words.
The news of an offense in District 2 put an end to their time together.
Early in the morning, with Katniss sleeping next to him with her arm over his stomach, the loud sirens awoke them. That could only mean something bad had happened.
“There was an attack, Finnick was in the middle of it, we have to go now,” Gale said when they reached him in the middle of the sea of people walking quickly to the hangar where the hovercrafts were.
What was happening? All he knew was that Finnick was shooting some propos in a District where things were calm but apparently something went wrong. Was he really going to war?
He turned around and Katniss hugged him tightly.
“Peeta,” she whispered in a thick voice and he could feel his tears coming. His sergeant told him to hurry up but he only nodded and buried his face in Katniss’s neck. Footsteps and familiar voices told him that Delly, Tim, the rest of the Hawthornes, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen had arrived but he couldn’t let go of Katniss just yet.
“You have no idea how much it took me to gather the guts to talk to you, let alone kiss you, damn it! A stupid war is not going to keep us apart,” he whispered. Katniss lifted her face and kissed his lips.
“Then come back, please, come back,” she said her fingers digging into his shoulders. Her grey eyes were full of tears but held so much emotion that Peeta kissed her again, trying to memorize her scent, her strong arms around his neck, her heavy breathing. And then the hasty goodbyes. Prim’s words for him to take care ,Hazelle’s words for him to be careful, Delly’s tears for him to come back. Another kiss from Katniss.
And then a gun was on hip and he was on walking next to Gale to the hovercrafts. He realized that he didn’t even noticed Gale saying goodbye to his loved ones.
“You okay?” Gale’s voice took him out of his dazed state. The sound of the hovercraft made almost impossible to hear so when he felt Gale’s body leaning into his ear he jumped a bit.
“Yeah,” he said. He was bouncing his leg nervously, looking at his surroundings. Purnia, the former District 12 peacekeeper nodded at him.
On the bench in front of him, there was a long line of soldiers like the Leeg twins among other young soldiers, their faces set in concentration and willingness to fight, but Peeta felt far away from their cause. He knew that a new opportunity was rising on Panem but he hated violence. He was a baker, a painter, he liked to do things with his hands, he didn’t want to shoot a gun.
“Listen soldiers, we have to help the resistance in the Square. Finnick was shot and even if he is now under our care, peacekeepers are trying to undermine us so we have to step into action the minute they set foot in District 2,” Boggs said through their earpiece. Peeta saw how everyone nod.
“You’re here for a reason, let’s help Finnick and Panem.” Boggs final words echoed on Peeta’s brain but he barely had time to process that the hovercraft had stopped and the door was opening.
“Take care Gale,” he shouted in an attempt to try to connect to the moment. He asked himself for a hundredth time, what was going on?
“You too Peeta,” Gale said and then Boggs ordered to leave the hovercraft.
When his feet touched the ground he could see the chaos. He followed Boggs’ instructions. He ducked, he jumped, he shot, but then he saw a group of running children being followed by three peacekeepers pointing at them and panic settled on his stomach. He followed them to the inside of the big white building, his legs feeling like lead, like they were trying to slow him down. Did his body know something he didn’t? Was the adrenaline that was telling him to run the other way warning him to escape the torture his days would become?
All he knew in that moment was that when he entered the hall of the building a gun hit him on the back of his neck, which hurt too much and then his jaw was the first part of his body to hit the floor. The last thing he saw before darkness descended on him was the body of a little girl over a pool of her own blood getting bigger and bigger.
***
Frozen water was an effective way to be awoken. And a kick to the ribs with a side of yelling worked well too. Peeta found out in the worst possible way.
He tried to open his eyes but he was blindfolded with his hands tied painfully tight behind his back. He could hear other soldiers next to him being shoved and smacked too but the darkness was total and he couldn’t focus; his head was spinning too much. He didn’t even want to think about his ribs or his leg. They kept walking until cold air hit him and made him shiver from the soaked t-shirt against his skin.
They put him against a wall and finally took the blindfolds from their eyes. Peeta recognized Purnia and other District 13 soldiers like one of the Leeg twins , Mitchell and Jackson and he squinted wondering how much time had passed since they had been captured because he couldn’t remember snow in District 2.
“You’re done playing soldiers. Now you will tell me.” The peacekeepers lifted their guns “what are the rebel’s plans.” the quick sound of the guns being charged followed his voice.
Peeta closed his eyes, shaking like a leaf but a slap on his face made him open his eyes.
“You will look us in the eye when we kill you, but first you will tell me the plan you have,” a peacekeeper yelled at him.
“We don’t know,” Peeta said and the peacekeeper punched him on the stomach. Peeta doubled in pain but a knee on his jaw made him stand straight.
“Fine.” The peacekeeper sneered and Peeta had no option but to look at the guns.
“Ready.” They had no escape.
“Aim!” Was this his last moment? He thought of Katniss and her words “please come back”. It was not in his hands this time.
“Fire!!”
His breath caught in his throat and bile raised. He fell on his knees but he didn’t hear the shotgun. Several of his fellow soldiers were on their knees too, crying, begging, pleading because they didn’t know what the “plan” was.
“They only took us to District 2 for back up the rebels, that’s all we know.”
Peeta looked at his right and he found Purnia on her knees, crying. She had a bloody gash across her cheek and her tears mixed with the blood that fell on the snow.
“The betraying ginger knows something,” the head peacekeeper shouted and then they were dragged again inside.
Day after day they were taken under interrogation and the tortures were endless. False executions, a sick game of put just a bullet in an old gun and they would pull the trigger until someone had the bad luck. Or the good luck, because certainly the meaning of life was lost to Peeta.
They awoke them every hour so in addition to the physical pain there was the tiredness. They all pleaded several times they didn’t know what the plan was but Peeta doubted that the Capitol wanted something from them. They were torturing them for the pleasure of it. They were good at that after all.
He tried to think about Katniss. He had managed to kiss her, to taste her, to feel her skin and everything about her had exceeded his wildest expectations. Sometimes at night he daydreamed about how their lives would have been if the bombs hadn’t destroyed his district but it was painful.
“Is he dead?” a soft voice he couldn’t recognize asked. There was a grunt and someone shook him. He whimpered in pain.
“He’s alive.” the second was hard and low. He opened his eyes and saw two small figures watching him with precaution. The Victors Annie Cresta and Johanna Mason were looking at him. They looked pale and thin and Johanna’s head barely had hair. Annie looked lost with her big green eyes and her hair matted in a braid.
“Why am I here?” he rasped, his throat raw with desperation and thirst. His body was stiff, sore and every time he breathed his lungs protested.
“We don’t know but we think there’s no more place in the cells for the rebels,” Johanna explained. Peeta nodded weakly and tried to sit but the effort made him dizzy so he stayed on his side shivering.
“Who’s Katniss?” Annie asked in a shy whisper. Peeta looked at her and wondered how she knew of Katniss.
“You screamed her name several times,” Johanna said guessing his question.
“She’s from District 12,” he answered. Then he realized they never put a label on their relationship.
“Is she your wife?” Annie asked and Peeta smiled sadly.
“I wish. The war kind of ruined my plans but marriage wasn’t in the talks yet, we were getting to know each other but I’m in love with her. I think I’ve been in love with her since I was five years old,” he said slowly and this time Annie smiled sadly.
“Maybe you can ask her to marry you when this is over,” Annie said and Johanna huffed. “I don’t care what you say Jo, I’ll see Finnick again.”
“If that’s how you wanna get through this, fine by me,” Johanna snapped and Annie shrugged looking close to tears. Johanna sighed and shook her head. “Sorry Ann,” Annie nodded weakly and Johanna sat next to her to hug her.
“Hey Annie, if you see Finnick you’ll be in District 13, so maybe you could ask about Katniss?” Peeta said, his throat closing with tears. “Would you tell her please that I miss her?” a few angry and stubborn tears fall from his eyes but he told Annie the message to Katniss. Outside there was so much noise, it was like a bad executed symphony of gunshots and cries of pain so Peeta focused on his voice until the sound of boots made him stop.
He was dragged to another cell and this time he could only hear Annie’s sobs and Johanna’s screams but he wasn’t sure what was real. A minute was endless, an hour a torture, his body felt foreign and things looked shiny and out of proportion. He was scared. He wanted to die. Closing his eyes only brought nightmares, but opening his eyes and seeing the peacekeeper putting prods on his body was worse. He really tried to think about nice things and in a last effort Katniss’ words came to his foggy brain “I hate that someone is always making the calls for us, first the Capitol...”
“We don’t know anything, please, we are pawns of both sides. We just want this to end. I can’t take it anymore, stop this please,” he cried, still shaking from the aftermaths of the electric shocks. A peacekeeper was about to push the prod into him again when a cold voice spoke.
“Take him in.”
He faint but he didn’t know if it was from relief or fear of what was ahead.
“Peeta, Peeta wake up.”
A warm hand was shaking him carefully for him to wake up. The voice was soft and gentle, so he opened his eyes. A woman with eyes like honey and dark brown skin was near his face, looking at him with worry.
“Where am I?” he asked groggily, feeling stabs of pain ran through his body.
“You’re in the Capitol, I’m going to prep you to be on camera. I’m Portia,” she said finally with a tense smile. Peeta frowned and looked at his surroundings. He was still on a cell but it didn’t look like the cement dungeons with chains in which he had previously been. Next to the small door there was a peacekeeper looking at them.
Portia prepared a warm shower for him that felt heavenly. Then she shaved his blonde stubble and applied makeup on his bounds and bruises and trimmed his hair a bit.
A white button up shirt and navy blue pants and boots were waiting for him.
“Why do they want to put me on camera?” he asked in a whisper and Portia tensed.
“They will present you like a repentant rebel, saying that you are all pawns and that you want for a ceasefire from your former band,” Portis explained nervously. Peeta looked at the peacekeeper but he stood motionless except that he had his hand over his gun.
Peeta swallowed heavily and nodded.
“But someone will explain it to you better,” she added and Peeta nodded again dumbly.
“You are District 12 stylist,” he said, trying to take his mind out of the minutes he had ahead. Portia nodded and smiled sadly “Thanks for helping them,” he added and Portia’s eyes filled with tears “Madge was my friend and I know you helped her. She was...” a knot settled in his throat and he had to stop.
He just wanted this madness to stop.
There was a knock on the door and they stood up. The peacekeeper opened it and motioned him to follow him. Peeta and Portia stood up and she hugged him, her mouth close to his ear.
A new wave of dizziness hit him when he heard Portia’s soft voice whispering hurried words close to his ear but he couldn’t even ask her anything. His hands were tied behind his back and in no time he was walking along corridors that looked endless. He couldn’t even look over his shoulder to say goodbye to Portia. A man wearing a red suit and a green tie walked next to him, explaining what he was supposed to say but Portia’s words were getting louder and louder on his head.
“Understood Mr Mellark?” the man asked and Peeta noticed for the first time how grotesque the man’s face was. Puffy lips and cheekbones so high that a dark and twisty smile was fixed on his face.
“Yes,” he lied and suddenly Caesar Flickerman was saying his name. A slight shove and the lights blinded him. They were in a TV studio where the interviews for the Tributes were held but only this time the essential technicians were present behind two big cameras and a few reflectors.
He sat on leather chair next to Caesar that was welcoming Panem to this live and exclusive interview.....
“So Peeta Mellark, former rebel...” Peeta looked at the old presenter with his green hair and his suit matching. Katniss’ favorite color was green. Would he ever see her again? He looked at his knees and focused on Caesar that was asking something.
“Sorry?” he asked and Caesar smiled politely
“I understand the pressure. I was asking what were you telling the President earlier?” he explained and Peeta realized how important his words could be. He was sure the entire nation was watching him.
“I was... I was telling him that we need to stop fighting between us, we need a ceasefire,” he said with a steady voice and Caesar nodded, giving numbers of deaths at hands of the rebels.
“You mentioned that you feel like you were pawns,” Caesar said after some gruesome pictures of riots in the districts and Peeta sighed and nodded.
“Yes,” he said. He closed his eyes and formed Katniss’ smiling face on his mind “but the Capitol sends the District’s children to the Games to die, so we need to stay strong against the Capitol, ” he said quickly and when a technician made a gesture to cut the transmission he looked at the red dot the camera had and yelled.
“The districts will be bombed tonight!”
Did he do it? Could he warn the Districts? The need to hug Katniss and make sure she was safe was overwhelming.
***
A kick on the ribs, a shock of electricity, constant pain and the worst kind of nightmares that he couldn’t recognized which were real and which were a product of his mind. He didn’t know if he was awake or asleep. He couldn’t remember why he had needles on his arms.
Sometimes Katniss appeared in his dreams, but she was on fire. Sometimes she kissed him sweetly with a smile full of love. Sometimes his father appeared smiling at him with kind eyes. Sometimes his mother looked at him with the disapproving look he knew so much.
He didn’t know how to wake up, he opened his eyes but darkness was the only thing he could see. He could feel needles on his arms and his wrist trapped against the chair. He fainted when they took the needle of his arm. They carried him to his cell and stayed on fetal position until someone shook him. He opened his eyes and hoped to see Johanna and Annie again but instead a peacekeeper was looking at him. Peeta felt the weight of his life and decided that he didn’t want to carry it anymore.
With last strength he had he rose and snatched the gun from the peacekeeper’s hand and pointed to his own temple.
“Stop!” the peacekeeper said lifting his hands to stopped him so Peeta put the gun on his hand and pressed it to his temple again, tears rolling down his face
“Then do it yourself because I wish nothing more than die!” he yelled and the peacekeeper put his hand over his mouth and lifted his helmet.
He looked familiar, with olive skin and grey eyes.
“Shut up Peeta, we’re getting you out of here,” he whispered and from his bag he took a peacekeeper uniform “C’mon, we don’t have much time,”
“Where’s Katniss?” he asked and Gale pursed his lips.
“I made her stay, she’s in District 13, she’s okay,” Gale said.
Peeta nodded numbly and stood up but his body screamed at him in pain. Gale looked at him and helped him with the peacekeeper uniform he took from a bag. They left the cell slowly and joined other peacekeepers that were running toward the exit of the building. It was chaos. A peacekeeper approached them but Gale didn’t let him talk.
“We checked on Mellark, good as dead” he said but the peacekeeper shook his head.
“Forget about him! There was a break in. The rebels...” his words died in his mouth when Gale shoot him, leaving Peeta in shock.
“There’s an attack on the President's Mansion,” a voice yelled.They ran toward the sound of the boots. Peeta tried to keep up with the rest of the group but he felt so weak and tired that the idea of breaking from the formation was the most appealing one. The thought of Katniss in District 13 made him move.
They reached the President’s Mansion and the minute he stepped into the circle, Peeta knew that something was terribly wrong. Several children were lying on the ground, crying with pain. Peeta could see the blood stains and the raw skin that contrasted heavily with the snowed on floor.
He was shoved aside and fell on his knees when a group of people with white coats ran toward the children. He recognized a blond braid falling from a petite frame, her big clothes forming a duck tale. Snow was falling even harder when he heard the hovercraft and the compartment bombs opening.
“Prim!” he yelled but it was not his voice but Katniss’ voice. She was supposed to be in District 13! He ran toward Katniss but she was already too far away, yelling at Prim, chasing her but it was too late. The bombs fell in forms of parachutes, setting on fire the children and the doctors that included Prim and Katniss.
The expansive wave knock him down but there was nothing he could do because he was on fire too.