Chapter Text
“All right, everyone, listen up,” John called to the assembled crowd. “Quick poll. Who among us is a wizard, or a witch? Raise your hand!”
Sam and Aasif’s hands immediately went up, as did (to John’s surprise) Olivia’s. “Seriously?” John heard Aasif mutter to Sam. “Why is it always the hot ones?”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Sam stage-whispered back.
Kristen looked uncertain. “Does it count if I’m Wiccan?”
“And, uh,” Wyatt began, “if I’m pretty sure my grandma knew some freaky voodoo charms, should I still say yes?”
John facepalmed.
* *
“So I’ve been meaning to ask,” Aasif said as the two of them walked towards the subway. “How did you come up with that name of yours? Isn’t John a bit—common?”
“So’s Harry.” John shoved his hands deeper in his pockets. “That’s what I was going for, actually. If I’m trying to blend into the Muggle world, why not go with the most overused boy’s name in the history of the world? As for Oliver—well, I’ve always liked Dickens, and Oliver Twist in particular. It’s just—Oliver was someone I could identify with, you know?”
“Because he was an orphan?”
“No, because he was world-famous from a young age and hated it. Yes, of course because he was an orphan.”
* *
“Being part-Veela isn’t all fun and games,” Stephen said. “For one thing, it makes it awfully hard to get a job with any major news network.”
“Oh, come on,” Aasif scoffed. “Then what’s CNN doing with Anderson Cooper? There’s a half-Veela if I ever saw one.”
“Uh, hello? He’s also a goddamn Vanderbilt.” Stephen rolled his eyes. “I’d bet CNN wouldn’t care less if his father was a giant, much less a Veela.”
John shrugged. “Or they just have a really shoddy background check. I mean, Larry King’s clearly a vampire, and they kept him around until he bloody retired.”
* *
“John.” John turned around on his way out the door to find Sam staring at him. “I know this is kind of a personal question but—would you mind telling me how long your wand is?”
“Eleven inches.” John frowned when Sam’s eyes went wide. “Wait, are we talking about the same thing here?"