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The hunt had been a hard one, tiring Sam and Dean to the bone. Even Cas looked a little worn out.
"I think I'm gonna shoot for five hours instead of four tonight," Dean groaned, pouring swamp water out of his shoes.
Sam was so tired he didn't even tell Dean not to pour them onto the floor. "I call the shower," he mumbled before locking himself in the bathroom.
Cas heaved a sigh. "I need to go take care of some things. You'll be okay while I'm gone?"
Dean's reply came out mumbled, though if you had asked him, he would have sworn he said actual words. He didn't. His face was already smushed against his pillow, swampy clothes still clinging to him. Cas pressed two fingers to his forehead and cleaned him up before flying away.
Dean was still half-asleep when Sam went to bed. Some part of him had forgotten that Cas had already cleaned him up, so he forced himself out of bed. His foot hit wet tile and his head did the same.
Dean woke up a minute or so later to Sam groggily calling his name.
"Dean... You good?"
Dean made some sort of affirmative noise.
"Mkay..." Sam soon began snoring.
Dean raised his head and everything was swimming, so he gave in to the dizziness and passed out.
~~~
Everything hurt. Everything hurt but his shoulder hurt different, like a worse kind of pain, like... Like... He didn't know. He couldn't remember anything.
He opened his eyes to a very white room. He was on a... A table. He raised his head and looked around to see one other person in the room. It was a man, with dishevelled hair and a suit, standing in front of a very large table with thousands of puzzle pieces on it. He was focusing very intently. His hands reached forward and connected two pieces, and suddenly Dean remembered how to talk.
"Hello?"
The man jumped a little and looked over to Dean. His eyes were the most blue thing Dean could remember seeing. Not that he remembered much. But. Ya know.
"Hello, Dean."
Dean looked around again, just to be sure, then sat up on the table. "Me, Dean? Am I Dean?"
The man smiled a little. "Yes."
"Oh. Um, okay." Dean twiddled his thumbs for a second before deciding that hurt too much. "Who are you?"
"My name is Castiel, and I am an angel of the Lord."
"Huh. Neat."
"Are you in pain?"
"Um, yeah. A lot, actually."
"Hold on." The man - Castiel - walked over to him and hovered his hand over Dean's head, and suddenly he was healed, shoulder and all. "Sorry that took so long, most of your right shoulder was gone."
"Huh." Dean looked at his now-flawless body. He was wearing a white T-shirt and blue boxer shorts. "Thanks, Castiel."
"Of course." The angel went back to his jigsaw puzzle.
Dean watched him for a while. "Whatcha doin?"
"Piecing your mind back together. It's a very complicated task. I made it appear as a puzzle to you so as not to overwhelm you." The angel put two more pieces together, and suddenly Dean was smiling wide and hopping off the table.
"Oh man, I love puzzles! I think I'm good at them. Can I help?" He stood beside Castiel and looked at all the pieces.
"I... Don't think that would be wise." Castiel caught a glimpse of his downtrodden face. "However, it would be a big help if you would keep me company. How does that sound?"
"That sounds great!" Before Castiel could say anything, Dean had cleared off a spot on Castiel's table and plopped himself on it. "So how did we meet? Do I know you? How do I know you?"
Castiel chuckled a little. "I just pulled you out of Hell."
"Hell? What's that?"
"A very bad place."
"Oh! Well, thanks man. Castiel. Cas. Can I call you Cas?"
"If you so desire."
"Okay. Cool. Where are we now?"
"A room of sorts. We're in your head, but isolated from anything else."
"Oh, so you're not real?"
"I am very real. I transported myself inside your head to help fix you."
"Neat. So can I just like, imagine things and they appear? Like... Like..." Cas put two more pieces together and Dean snapped his fingers. "Like the Matrix!"
Cas shrugged. "I don't see why not."
Dean closed his eyes and imagined really hard until he felt a slight weight on his body. He opened his eyes and grinned. "I always wanted a trench coat!"
Cas glanced at him and smiled. "You look good."
Dean blushed a little. "Hey, you too, angel."
Cas furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at the pieces before rolling his eyes. "I haven't even put flirting back yet and you still somehow know how to do it."
"Hey, what can I say? I'm a charmer."
Dean's grin spread to Castiel's face, and an actual laugh came out of the angel's mouth.
The days passed just like that. Dean and Cas, just talking while Castiel worked on restoring memories. Dean noticed that he sometimes found matches and didn't link them up, but rather laid them to the side.
"Hey Cas, why don't you put those back too?" Dean was holding a hot cocoa, and offering another to Cas. Cas had told him time and time again that he didn't need any food, but Dean had been so insistent that he agreed to take a short drink break.
"Those are your worst memories. They're important. They helped shape you. But I refuse to put them back until last."
"Oh. Thank you, honeybee."
Cas blushed just a little. "You're welcome, sunshine."
Dean smiled at him. "When I'm all the way back, are you gonna go out into the real world with me?"
Cas shook his head sadly. "I am needed in Heaven. I will continue to watch over you, though."
Cas's hand rested on the table while the other brought the cocoa to his lips. Dean saw his chance while Cas's vision was obscured, and quickly intertwined his fingers with Castiel's. Cas choked on cocoa and coughed a few times.
"Dean?"
"Hmm?"
"What... What are you doing?"
Dean smiled at him bashfully. "I like you. I'm showing you that."
"Oh."
Cas returned to his work, but neither of them let the other's hand go.
More days passed.
"Cas, do I know how to dance?"
Cas quickly scanned the pieces. "Um, not in the classical sense."
"Ah." There was a beat of silence. "Do you?"
"Yes."
A bit more silence. "Will you teach me?"
"We need music."
Some very old jazz tune flowed through the room. Cas turned away from his table to see Dean standing in the middle of the room, flushed but ready to learn.
Cas placed his hand on Dean's waist and his other in Dean's hand. The footwork was slow going, but eventually Dean was waltzing around the room, dancing so maniacally and grinning so wildly that Cas soon began to laugh and couldn't stop. He was grinning ear to ear when Dean's mouth met his own.
Castiel's eyes widened and Dean quickly realized his mistake. "Oh. Oh man. Oh man Cas I'm sorry I just got caught up in the moment and-" Dean was cut off by Cas's lips against his own.
Months passed. Cas's work dwindled to a close, and neither wanted their time to end. Castiel spent most of his time away from his table, lounging around with Dean, exchanging lazy kisses or watching Dean's favorite movies or simply sitting back and talking about everything but the end of their time. However, it did come.
Castiel stared at the ten pieces left. The ten pieces that would wreck Dean entirely. Everyone he knows. Everything he's experienced. All wrapped up in those ten pieces.
"Cas, honeybee, we don't have to do this."
Castiel sighed and forced the tears welling up in his eyes to go away. "We do. You're an important man. You have family. Places to see. People to love."
"I only want you."
Cas turned to meet him. Dean was not successful in keeping his tears away. They rolled freely down his freckled cheeks.
"Cas, babe, I don't want to go back. Not without you."
Something inside of Castiel cracked. Something he knew would crack at this moment, anyways, but feeling it himself was a new experience. It was dangerous, and bright, and it filled him with terror and hope. "Then I'll stay with you. On Earth. I'll stay with you."
Dean's eyes brightened. "You will?"
"Yes. I will. But..."
"But what?"
"You won't remember me. Not after I put these pieces back. It'll shove me out of your mind."
"Nothing could make me forget you."
Cas laughed bitterly. "This isn't about emotion. It's fact. I'll be pushed away."
Dean reached out and gently cupped Cas's face. "Then make me remember you."
"How?"
"Just... Stare at me. With those gorgeous eyes of yours. I know I'll feel something."
"And if you don't?"
Dean hesitated for a moment before pulling his trenchcoat off and handing it to Cas. "Then wear this to remember me by. I promise I'll ask for it back one of these days. You're borrowing it, okay?"
"Okay." Cas pulled Dean's trenchcoat on, tears falling freely now.
"You're my honeybee..." Dean whispered.
"And you're my sunshine," Cas replied. Cas laid his hand on Dean's shoulder and pulled him in for a kiss.
"I love you, Castiel."
The feeling that coursed through Castiel was powerful and unexpected, and before he knew it Dean was flung against the wall. "DEAN!" Castiel yelled, running to him.
Dean laughed a little and brushed himself off. "I'm fine, it's okay." He winced and looked at his shoulder, where Castiel's handprint was now branded. "Angel hickey. Sweet."
"Oh, oh no, Dean I'm sorry, I'll fix it-"
"No! Leave it. Now I have something to remember you by." Dean smiled a little. "I'm ready, Castiel."
Cas hesitated a moment before walking over to his table. He took the ten pieces, took a big breath, and jammed them all together, completing the puzzle.
The walls were cracking, Dean was screaming in agony, and Castiel was whispering, "I love you too, Dean."
Dean snapped awake.
~~~
"Hey, Dean, are you okay?"
Cas stared at him all the time. He always stood too close.
"Dean?"
All those stares, all those years, they were.. they were...
"Dean!"
His honeybee.
Sam was standing over him, face etched with concern. Dean took in his surroundings frantically. Motel room. Motel room, on the floor, head hurting like a bitch.
"Where's Cas?" Dean was up and ignoring the throbbing in his head, frantically throwing open doors and cabinets like Cas would suddenly appear in one.
"Dean!" Sam tried to hold him still but Dean squirmed and fought.
"Cas! I have to find Cas! I have to... I have to..." Dean bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes closed, the look on Castiel's face when he told him he loved him seared into his brain. The hope there. The love.
"Woah hey there man, calm down. You must have had one hell of a dream. Do we need to talk about it?"
Dean met Sam's eyes, and Sam had never seen him look so wild. Neither said anything as tears began to roll down Dean's face. Suddenly Dean was shaking and Sam was supporting all of his weight, Dean's head buried in his shoulder as he broke. Sam gently sat them both down in the middle of the floor and held his brother tight.
"Shhhh, sh-sh-shhh, Dean it's okay. Tell me what happened."
It took him a few minutes to compose himself enough to get any words out, but when he did...
He told Sam everything.
"Wow, that's... That's intense. Do you think it was real?"
Dean wiped his eyes. "I dunno, Sam. It felt real. But I don't want to just launch myself at Cas if it isn't, ya know?"
"Yeah that would be bad." Sam thought a moment. "You could ask for the coat back? Either he tells you it's his or he gives it back and knows you remember. No harm, no foul, right?"
"That's why you're the brains of this operation." Dean gave Sam a half-smile, and Sam returned it.
Dean waited frantically for Cas. He was pacing and buttoning and unbuttoning his outer plaid layer. Finally, Cas appeared.
And Dean couldn't open his damn mouth.
"Yes, Dean? You wanted to see me?"
His mouth opened and closed and nothing would come out. Crap crap crap! What was he supposed to do now?!
Cas looked at him curiously, and some of the tension seemed to melt away. Dean took out his phone and searched for a long-forgotten jazz tune before turning the volume up and walking over to Cas.
Dean gently rested his hand on Castiel's waist, and put his other in Cas's hand. They began to dance, while Cas continued to look at him in confusion. "What is this all about, Dean?"
"I, um, I want my coat back."
Cas stopped abruptly. "What?"
Dean cleared his throat, suddenly very unsure. "I um, I said I want my coat back."
Cas was very quiet before whispering, "Sunshine?"
Dean smiled at the name. "Hello, honeybee."