Chapter Text
>>>Harry
Adrenaline pumps through him as he jumps down the stairs of Louis’ apartment building, taking two or three steps at a time. All he can think about is running away from all this. Nothing has gone to plan since he walked through Louis’ door this afternoon.
He bursts through the doors leading out onto the street and just finds a path east towards the lake. At least he won’t get lost if he just heads for the lake. The sun flickers its dying light behind him through the skyscrapers as he waits for the light to change to cross State Street’s busy lanes of traffic at this time of day.
The loud screech of buses and car horns and an ambulance siren just add to the confusion in his head. The light turns, and he walks as briskly as he can in the waves of people all heading in the same direction. It’s absolutely frustrating as fuck how often he has to stop to cross each street, anger burning in his veins. Even amidst these large groups of people who must be used to encountering all types, he notices that they must instinctually be giving the angry alpha a bit of space. It’s almost as if he’s parting the Red Sea as he plows his way through the crowded sidewalks and makes his way across Michigan Avenue, finally seeing the green of Grant Park and the lake beyond it.
He lets out a long breath as though just the sight of his destination has provided some relief. He manages to make his way to the fountain before he stops and decides this must be where he was headed anyway. The parks have always been one of his favorite things about the city. He looks up at the fountain in all its magnificent rococo glory and a wave of exhaustion washes over him.
He clutches the metal fencing surrounding the fountain and bows his head. He lets the rush of water drown out the sounds of the rest of the city--of the rest of his life. He’s just so tired. The angry adrenaline that has carried him this far drains out of him, and he feels the weariness in his bones from the day, the weeks, the months he’s spent fighting for Louis. No, not just Louis. He’s been fighting for himself, too, and the life that he knows they could have together.
He just can’t understand this wall that Louis has erected between them. There’s something there that he just can’t seem to overcome. It somehow hurts even worse to know that at one time Louis had imagined him as his husband enough to buy an engagement ring, but then decided he didn’t actually want to marry him. It makes it all seem more final in some way, that Louis had decided so firmly against being with him. He feels utterly foolish for ever thinking that getting a job and moving here would make a difference to Louis.
He feels the buzz of a text in his pocket, but he ignores it. He doesn’t remember crying, but his face feels wet with tears. He wipes them away and walks slowly around to the lake side of the fountain. He stares out past Lake Shore Drive and the cars trapped in gridlock and insead looks to the vast blue of the lake, growing steadily darker as evening begins to set in on the city behind him.
He didn’t mean everything he said back there. He knows Louis wouldn’t use him. He almost feels badly for saying it, but fuck he just wanted him to hurt as much as he hurts. What has being polite got him in all this? What has being docile and begging for Louis to pay attention to him ever brought him? He wonders if it’s even worth trying to go to this interview tomorrow. Probably not, but he still needs to go and be professional. He can just explain that he isn’t completely sold on the idea of moving to Chicago.
Fuck. He’s going to have to go back to Louis’ apartment. His garment bag with his interview suit is lying across Louis’ recliner. He’s not really ready to go back, but he can’t stay here hiding behind an enormous fountain forever. He takes a deep breath and turns to begin the walk back.
Louis.
He’s standing thirty feet away, watching him warily as though Harry might make another run for it.
“How did you find me?”
Louis slowly closes some of the distance between them. “I know you, Styles.”
He wants to yell and throw those words back in Louis’ face, but he’s just too fucking tired to keep arguing.
“You love fountains,” Louis says softly. “You love beautiful things. You seek out beauty in everything you do and everywhere you go. I knew amidst all the concrete and steel, I’d find you among exquisitely carved stone and cascading water. The blue of the lake. The green of the trees.”
Louis’ words fill his chest, choking him with emotion. How can Louis know him like this and still turn away? He wants to rail at the unfairness of it all. No one knows Louis the way he does, and no one knows him the way Louis does. No one will ever see him the way Louis sees him. How can that be wrong? How can they not belong together? Just because the world in general doesn’t believe alphas should be together?
Louis takes another step closer, and Harry holds up a hand to stop him. “Please, just--don’t.”
Louis looks wounded by this, and that doesn’t seem fair either. “I need to talk to you, Harry.”
Harry lets a bitter laugh slip out. “Don’t you think you’ve said enough?”
“No.” Louis voice cracks a bit, and Harry snaps up to look at him more closely. Louis’ eyes gleam with unshed tears. He looks disheveled and panicked and more upset than he’s ever seen him look, more upset than when they broke up. “I have a lot I should probably say. If you’ll listen. I’d understand if you don’t want to anymore. Did you ever answer Gemma’s call?”
He looks at him confused for a minute. “What’s Gemma got to do with--”
He pulls out his phone and sees all the missed calls and texts. Multiple ones from Gemma, but others, too, from Louis and Liam and Niall. “Oh, I didn’t even notice all these. I was kind of--out of it.”
“Harry--I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I--”
“Fuck,” he chokes out. “ Please don’t apologize for not loving me enough, Louis.”
“God, Harry. No, that’s not it at all,” Louis says as tears slip down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, you ever thought that. I meant it when I said, I did this for you. To give you a chance to have a perfect life.”
“A perfect life? What the fuck is that, Louis? A perfect life. How the hell could my life even be close to perfect without you in it?”
There’s a small smile on Louis’ wet face and a croaky huff of a noise that comes out of his mouth. “Harry, you’ve never even had a life without me in it. How could you know that?”
“I didn’t want to ever know! Why would I? When I love you, and I thought it was mutual--”
“It was,” Louis interrupts. “It still is. I made a mistake.”
Harry’s heart stutters an extra beat at the admission that Louis still loves him, but it doesn’t completely dispel his anger. “A mistake? A mistake. Okay. You made a mistake and upended our lives.”
Louis sighs. “Yes, but it’s not really as simple as all that. But what I most want to apologize for is for not giving you the option to decide on what you want. That’s what I regret most.”
Harry stares at him, silently assessing the way Louis flicks his fingers through his hair and presses his hand to his stomach.
“Our love was never--easy. Never simple.”
“So what?” Harry says. “It was enough for me.”
“Maybe it was.” Louis smiles ruefully. “Maybe it was less easy for me than I let on. And looking back I wish we had talked about it more. I wish I’d put all my doubts and insecurities out on the table long before I let Gemma’s words eat away at me.”
“Gemma?”
“Yes--Gemma. I overheard her opinion about us at the going away party. It wasn’t--very hopeful.”
“Wait--what?” His mind spins at this. “What did she say?”
“She didn’t say anything we haven’t heard a hundred times before. It just--I didn’t know your family felt that way about us. It hit me harder than I knew how to deal with. They love you, and they want what’s best for you. I started believing that I wasn’t--what’s best for you. And you deserve it, Harry. You deserve the best of everything.”
“So you’re saying you broke up with me for my own good, so I could live a perfect life with some imaginary omega that you and my family have dreamed up?”
“Well, when you say it like that it sounds--”
“Stupid? Ridiculous? Like the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard?”
“Harry--”
“But what about you Louis?” He interrupts. “You deserve to have a beautiful life, too. Do you feel like you can only have that with an omega?”
Louis stares at him for a long moment.
“No,” Louis admits. “I hadn’t even considered what I would do really. But no. I hadn’t thought I could be happy being with anyone but you.”
“Why would you ever think I don’t feel the same way?”
Louis hangs his head a bit. “I thought you at least should have the chance to find out, but then I couldn’t seem to stay away until--well--until--”
“Until what?”
“Until I saw you on a date,” Louis whispers.
Harry feels like he’s been slapped in the face. “A date? What are you talking about? I haven’t been--”
“He was very beautiful. Dark hair. You held open the door--”
Harry racks his brain for a moment, but there aren’t very many people it could be when he’s rarely left the house except to go to work. “Zayn. You saw me with Zayn and decided it was over. Christ, Louis.”
“That was Zayn?” Louis asks, his eyes wide. “You never said he was so--”
“Sure, Zayn is gorgeous and an omega, but he’s not you and I’m not interested in him in even the smallest way. And he’s certainly not interested in me either. He’s hot for Liam actually.”
Louis huffs out a laugh and a small smile. “Is he?”
Harry can’t help but return the smile. Louis’ smile has always been hard to resist. “Yeah. He’s hoping Liam isn’t only interested in betas.”
Louis’ smile dims. “I’m sure Liam would keep an open mind.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said, too.” He scuffs the toe of his boot against the concrete.
“Um, there’s a reason I came to find you.”
“Afraid I’d get lost and fall in the lake?”
“No.” Louis shakes his head. “I’m the one who lost my way. When I saw you holding that ring box in your hand, knowing the ring I picked out for you is inside it--Harry, I’ve never been more sorry in my life that that ring wasn’t already on your finger.”
His emotions roil inside him, but he can’t seem to find his voice in the moment.
“I’m sorry about more than that though,” Louis continues. “I’m sorry for all the things I said before and for everything I’ve put us both through, and when you ran out the door tonight, I knew you were taking everything that I want with you.”
Harry is so tired he can barely stand upright and maybe he’s not processing everything correctly, but it’s starting to sound like a second chance for them. A small flicker of hope lights itself in his heart.
“If you give me another chance, I will do everything I can to not let this happen to us again.” Louis promises. “But in the interest of full disclosure, I’ve talked to your sister.”
“What?” This confuses him for a moment, especially considering that the things she said were the catalyst for Louis’ doubts boiling over.” Why?”
“When you wouldn’t answer your phone, I called--everyone asking them to contact you. I may have sounded a bit--frantic.” Louis’ lips slide sideways. “Gemma called back when you wouldn’t pick up for her either. I told her I’d heard what she’d said about us, and she apologized. And then she said--she said that if anyone knew where to find you, it was--me.”
Harry can’t manage to suppress his emotions any longer, and his eyes blur with tears.
“And I knew. I did. I thought about where you would go, and I just--knew. I know you, Harry. I maybe know you as well as I know myself. I know how much I’ve hurt you because I know how much I’ve hurt myself. You said you were still fighting for us, and if that’s still true for you, I want to stand and fight for us, too.”
Harry snorts. “As if I would have ever given up on you. There are plenty of other things I could have broken in that house for you to come fix.”
>>> Epilogue <<<
Harry hears the door to the apartment slam shut.
“Harry?” he hears Louis call out frantically. He hears the thud of Louis kicking off his shoes so hard they probably hit the wall.
It takes a lot of his will power to remain silent on their bed, waiting for him.
“Harry,” Louis growls. “Where are you? You promised you’d be home early, and my rut--”
Louis finally appears in the doorway to their bedroom. “Holy fuck.”
Harry keeps himself still and looks over his bare shoulder, meeting Louis’ eyes as he grips the iron headboard. He’s kneeling before it on the bed, and if he wasn’t holding on to something, he would have collapsed at the look of lust and possession on Louis’ face.
“Thought I’d do something special for your rut.”
Louis walks dazedly towards the bed, his eyes wide. He reaches his hand out, seeming to hesitate to touch him, but when he does, he runs his fingers along Harry’s spine until he reaches the scrap of black lace fabric just above his ass that’s connected to the suspenders holding up his fishnet stockings. He drops his head and pushes his ass out towards his touch. He moans when Louis’ finger traces lightly over the seam between his cheeks. He’s purposely worn no panties for easier access, which also means his cock is free to harden almost painfully against him.
“My rut won’t really start until tomorrow probably.”
“Mine either. An early gift then--” He chokes off the sentence when Louis’ thumb brushes against his hole. He feels the bed shift to accommodate Louis’ weight on it, and it’s a struggle to not turn around and rip Louis’ clothes off of him. He can feel his own rut nearly upon him, too.
“Fuck, you look so good in this--whatever this is.”
He gasps when he feels the cool liquid of the lube being poured onto him and then gasps again at the feel of Louis’ hands on the backs of his fishnet covered thighs.
“Garters and--ah--fishnets.” He feels the press of Louis’ thumb against him again, more firmly this time, and he can’t help but try to turn his head to see Louis’ expression.
“Well, I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I’ll take it.”
Harry moans as Louis’ thumb presses gently, circling his rim. “Because I--love you--ah--love being--ah ah--yours.”
“Those were the right words, Harry.” Louis finally presses a finger inside of him, and he pushes back against him as Louis slowly thrusts his slick finger back and forth. “Baby, you feel so good. You’re mine, Harry. All mine.”
Harry whimpers at both the words and the feeling of Louis’ hand pressed to his ass and a finger inside him. He suddenly feels the fabric of Louis’ trousers against his leg and grunts his displeasure at Louis being clothed. “Lou--take off your--”
He doesn’t finish his thought before Louis works in another finger. He takes Louis’ fingers inside him, reveling in the pressure, until Louis finds his prostate, and he can no longer keep even a semblance of stillness or quiet. He twists in Louis’ arms as Louis presses up against his back, working his fingers inside him. He can feel the press of rough fabric against his highly sensitized skin, and it somehow makes him feel more vulnerable and needy to be open like this to Louis’ gaze and touch.
“Are you ready for me?” Louis murmurs against his skin as he presses kisses along the planes of his back. “Do you want my knot, Harry?”
“Yes! Please, please--yes, Louis, yes!” He whimpers incoherently as Louis’ fingers slip out from inside him. He feels so empty without him. “Lou--please, I need you--”
He grips the headboard tightly as he waits for Louis to get undressed. He doesn’t have to wait long before Louis presses him open on his slick cock. Fuck it feels so good. So so good to have Louis fill him up like this. He can feel Louis’ clothes drag against his skin, and he realizes that Louis has only unzipped himself out of his pants before fucking into him.
“Fuck baby, you’re so hot.” Louis grunts before whispering in his ear. “Couldn’t even stop touching you long enough to take off my clothes.”
“More,” he pleads. He can’t hold on to the headboard anymore and lets his arms collapse to the mattress, pushing himself onto his elbows. “More, harder.”
Louis obeys. He pushes in further and a bit harder until he’s found the right angle to have Harry’s breath come in pants and gasps. When Louis wraps his hand around his cock, he lets out a shout at the sensation of both receiving and wanting to give. The continuous push and pull of an alpha in a relationship with another alpha. He thrusts his hips forward to fuck into Louis’ fist and then backwards against his cock. It’s so much.
“Okay?” Louis asks.
“Don’t stop.”
“I won’t. I’m gonna--gonna--” Louis pumps into him faster and harder until he feels Louis’ knot begin to form. This time, Louis pushes in more slowly and Harry reacts to his touch, becoming more pliant beneath him, letting Louis’ knot fully enter him.
He’s not sure if the noises he hears are from his own throat or Louis’ as Louis grips his cock more firmly, stroking him until he’s finally spilling into Louis’ hand. Their breaths are loud and ragged in the quiet of their bedroom, and they slowly sink onto the bed with Louis still locked inside him.
“You still have your shirt on, Lou,” he mumbles. Louis huffs out a laugh against his bare shoulder before pulling himself away slightly in order to wrestle his shirt off of himself. When Louis presses his upper body against him again, Harry breathes in his familiar scent and lets it calm his thumping heart.
Louis runs his hands down his body, across the garter belt and stockings it’s holding up. Harry feels Louis’ cock twitch inside him. ‘You like these, do you?”
“You have no idea how much.” Louis presses his teeth against Harry’s neck with low growl.
“Oh, I think I might have some idea,” Harry says with a smirk. “You still have your pants half on.”
Louis lets a bubble of laughter escape him before he captures Harry’s left hand in his own and presses his lips to the rose gold wedding band that never leaves Harry’s finger.