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English
Series:
Part 1 of lead me to a future
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Looping (almost) Eternally
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Published:
2018-02-21
Completed:
2018-12-11
Words:
137,896
Chapters:
100/100
Comments:
2,602
Kudos:
1,362
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231
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33,248

i was the only one who was looking at you

Chapter 100

Notes:

the week that i’m posting this, i have end of semester tests and deadlines. i opened this fic talking about exams, and i’m closing it that way too, although i’m not talking about the same exams. ah, the life of a student

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Time moved forwards.

It didn’t take Thomas very long to realise that the Revivals had stopped entirely. Of course, he hadn’t experienced any normal ones since he’d been sent back to when he was 11, but he’d figured that that was because he was focused on one problem. Even if a Revival could’ve kicked in again while he was trying to do that, the other things going wrong around him weren’t things that he'd had any power to fix. He’d been in the body of a child, after all, and then he'd been stuck in a hospital, barely able to walk.

But once he was out of there, and existing in the world again, he couldn’t think of a reason why they wouldn’t start up again.

They didn’t.

Newt had a number of theories as to why this could be the case. These included, but were not limited to; Thomas actually being subconsciously in control of them after all and that he felt like he’d done enough time travelling for one lifetime, whatever higher power that may or may not have been in control of it deciding to finally let him rest, and that it was because they hadn’t yet caught up to the point that he was sent back from and so they were technically still inside the loop.

Thomas wasn’t sure whether or not he cared why they’d stopped. He wasn’t even sure whether it was a good thing or a bad one.

He tried to seek out the times and places that he remembered a Revival taking place. It was partially to see if it would trigger for something that it had triggered for before, and partially it was to make sure that the changes he’d made stayed that way.

But the bad things never came to pass.

The shop display held in place without help. The child who’d been hit by a train managed to wait for it to pass by without needing to be held back. Even the lost tourist was able to find their way without Thomas needing to interfere.

Newt called it the butterfly effect. Thomas didn’t give a shit what it was called. He was too busy being relieved that all the people he’d helped were still okay.



The strangest day was the day that, in the first timeline, Thomas’ mother had been murdered.

Thomas went to visit Chuck at work. Like last time, Chuck had gotten a part time job at the pizza place. His entire demeanor visibly brightened when Thomas walked in.

“Hey, Thomas! How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great. You?”

Chuck held both his thumbs up. “Awesome.” He slipped into an overly fake customer service voice. “What can I get for you today, sir?”

Thomas laughed and gave him his order.

As he made his way back to his and Newt’s shared apartment, he took a detour and stopped next to his old apartment building. From where he stood, he could just about see that the lights were on inside his old apartment. He didn’t know who lived there, and he didn’t particularly want to know, either. Whoever they were, he hoped they were happy.

He got back home, and picked out a movie while Newt finished up his phone call with a client. Then they collapsed onto the sofa next to each other, ate pizza, and settled in for the night.

Thomas couldn’t help but be distracted, though. His mother’s murder both had happened, and hadn’t. It had been 20 years ago, and three years ago, and today all at once.

Halfway through the movie, Newt asked him what was wrong. Thomas was fairly sure that Newt had known the whole time that something was bothering him, but hadn’t been known whether or not to say anything. Thomas was grateful that he’d put so much thought into it.

“Sorry, it’s just, today’s the day that Janson killed my mum.”

Newt didn’t verbally respond, because what was there to say? Instead, he pulled Thomas into a hug, wordlessly offering his support, and held him close for the rest of the night.



Even once he was officially out of the time loop, Thomas didn’t have any more Revivals.



He rewrote his book. It was definitely a lot better this time around. The plot was stronger, the characters were more engaging, and the science had significantly less holes in it.

His extremely minor celebrity status as the miracle who survived a 15 year coma also helped him in getting that publishing deal.

But, no matter how he got the opportunity, seeing his novel shoot to the top of the bestseller list was a dream come true.



It wasn’t until three years after Janson’s arrest that a verdict was reached.

He was found guilty of all charges, and was going to die in prison. Sonya had seen to it personally.

When he heard the news, a weight that Thomas hadn’t realised was there lifted off of his shoulders. He found himself breathing easier than he’d ever done before.

He looked up from the email from Sonya informing them of the result, to see Newt beaming, his eyes sparkling with joy.

He couldn’t resist pulling Newt in for a kiss. Newt didn’t have any objections.



One weekend in January, everyone travelled back to their hometown. It was a chance to see each other in person, and reminisce. They all stayed in touch with one another, but chances to meet up as a group were few and far between.

On the Saturday evening, they all met up at a bar that Thomas hadn’t paid much attention to before. All things considered, they spent surprisingly little time talking about Janson. Thomas decided that he was okay with this. That man wasn’t going to be able to hurt any of them ever again. Continuing to talk about him would just be giving him more power over them. He vastly preferred that they all just got on with their lives. They had a brief acknowledgement that he was behind bars, and then the conversation moved on to other things.

Such as Sonya and Harriet’s engagement.

Everyone was thrilled.

Brenda launched into a thousand and one questions about what they were planning, and where they wanted it to be, and when, and if they were thinking about having a theme, and so much more that Thomas could barely keep track of.

Newt expressed some slight, not entirely serious, annoyance that he’d had to find out with the rest of the group instead of on his own.

“I’m your brother, and you didn’t think to tell me about this first?”

“If it makes you feel better, we’re telling mum and dad later tonight.”

“That does make me feel better, because dad might actually kill you for not telling them straight away.”

Gally made a joke about this being yet another couple married before him and Ben. Ben pointed out that they weren’t technically engaged, and Gally went very quiet. Minho joked that Gally must’ve forgotten that he needed to actually propose, and Gally threatened to throw something at him.

Frypan said that he expected to have a hand in catering, to which Harriet said that she’d thought that was a given.

Teresa mentioned that Deedee would be starting school soon, and that she and Minho were wondering if the schools in the city were any good, or if it would be worth moving back out here.

“We know that Glade and Scorch are good schools, and so’s the secondary school. We don’t have that guarantee about the city.”

“That’s true,” said Newt, “but you’ve got to remember that you have a history here. If you move back out here, then you’ll have to confront it. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t, or even that you should. Just that you should bear that in mind when you’re making your decision.”

Teresa nodded. “We’ll think about it. Thanks Newt.”

As the evening drew to a close, everyone went their separate ways. Some people were headed straight home, some people to a hotel, and some were staying with family for the night. Sonya and Harriet were heading directly back to the Ross family home, so Thomas and Newt decided to take a more scenic route.

The stars were bright and guided their way as they wandered, talking about nothing in particular without a set destination. They knew that they wouldn’t get lost. They knew this town too well for that. This was where they’d grown up. Both of them.

Eventually, they came to a stop.

Their path had led them to the gates of their old school.

Glade Primary was apparently still doing well in athletics competitions, because it still had a banner up proclaiming such. The playground had a couple of balls left out, but otherwise the school was completely deserted.

Thomas stepped up to the gate and curled a hand around one of the bars. Newt stuck to his side.

Thomas took a deep breath. “Newt?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think we managed to be heroes?”

Newt let out a soft laugh. “Yes, Tommy,” he said, taking Thomas’ other hand in his own. “Yes, I think we did.”

Thomas smiled softly. “Yeah,” he said. “I think so too.”

He let Newt pull him away from the gate.

“C’mon,” said Newt. “Let’s go home.”

Notes:

hi !! i’m assuming that if you’re reading this it’s bc you’ve read this whole fic (it’s possible you skipped right to the end i don’t know your life) which if you did then. wow. thank you so much, i genuinely love you

as i said in the opening notes, i’d had this idea for a while, ever since i first watched erased. it struck me how similar the erased character kenya was to newt, and from that thought everything and everyone else fell into place. but at the time i wasn’t very into tmr. then tdc came out earlier this year, i reread the books, i read tfc for the first time, and i finally watched past the first film. i desperately wanted to read smth like this fic, that combines two things i absolutely love, but i knew there was no way that anyone else was gonna write it. so i had to do it myself

i honestly didn’t expect more than a handful of people to read this, given the premise is kinda out there. and i wouldn’t have minded that !! i would’ve just been happy for this to exist. but so many people have been reading and commenting (or not commenting, i know you’re there and ily) and it’s kinda baffling that you all like my writing? and you’ve all been so lovely and kind, i’m blown away

this is the longest thing i’ve ever written, and the only multichap thing i’ve ever actually properly completed. remember how way back in chapter 14 i said this was the longest thing i’d ever written?? yeah. idk how it happened or if i’ll be able to do it again haha, but i’ll definitely try. i have many ideas for things that i’d like to read but have concepts that legit nobody else is ever gonna do so i’ll have to do it. there’s still one more oneshot for this series that i’d really love to be done before the new year but no promises, so make sure you’re subscribed to the series if you’re interested in seeing that. and i should be posting the first chapter of a new thing very very soon !!! it’ll be formatted differently to this, with less chapters, but that are longer, instead of lots of short ones. that next fic involves a boarding school, assassins, roommates, and a deadly game, so if that sounds like something you might be interested in then be sure to check it out !!! (bonus points to anyone who can figure out what it’s based off of with that description alone)

massive shout out to everyone on the tmr discord !!! y’all have genuinely become friends for life and i love talking to you guys every day !!! even when i’m not saying anything, the group just makes me really happy and i really appreciate all of you. i can’t wait to finally meet some of you in january !!!!!

wow um this got long. uh, this being exactly 100 chapters was an extremely happy accident, i couldn’t have done it if i’d tried, and it almost definitely will not be repeated lmao

thank you all so so much !!!!!!!! i hope you’ll join me for the next one <33333

Notes:

kudos and comments mean the world to me, even just a smiley face would make my day

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