Work Text:
Jaehwan’s Sewoon Crisis of 2018™ starts a little like this:
They wake up next to each other on a lazy Sunday morning, only kind of cuddling. This isn’t too weird—Sewoon often comes over with his guitar or after one of the two classes he and Jaehwan share since they’re the same major. After Minhyun, Jaehwan’s actual roommate, had gotten a boyfriend with a single, there was one less person to disturb when Jaehwan was in a mood for a jam session, and conveniently, Sewoon is always down to jam. Sometimes, Sewoon’s too lazy to make the trek across campus to his own room, and because Jaehwan isn't enough of a dick to make his best friend sleep on the floor, they share Jaehwan’s cramped bed.
Jaehwan goes to the bathroom first to brush his teeth and take a piss, leaving Sewoon to slowly become conscious to the world, sitting up in Jaehwan’s bed still half-burrowed in his comforter, face puffy and eyes half closed, looking mildly disoriented. Not for the first time, Jaehwan thinks the expression is cute—a little dumb, but cute. Not that it means anything. Anyone with eyes would think Sewoon’s cute when he looks like a children’s cartoon character most of the time.
When Jaehwan comes back, Sewoon is finally standing up, folding clothes that had piled up in random corners of Jaehwan’s side of the room—the crack between his bed and the wall, his desk chair that had long since been relegated to a glorified coat rack, his desk. Minhyun has always been the neater one between him and Jaehwan, and nowadays, he only returns to his actual room when he needs a fresh set of clothes, which isn’t even that often considering one of Minhyun’s ideas of a perfect date is doing laundry.
“Why is your side of the bed always messy?” Sewoon teases. Jaehwan snorts and opens his mouth to say that it’s not that bad, he could have candy wrappers all over the place like Daniel, when he takes a second to really take stock of Sewoon’s words.
Your side of the bed.
Your side of the bed.
As if there is a Sewoon side and a Jaehwan side of the bed.
Jaehwan then opens his mouth again to ask since when did Sewoon have ownership rights to half of Jaehwan’s tiny ass bed, when he looks at said bed and realizes he does tend to sleep closer to the wall even when Sewoon isn’t around, that there are two pillows on a bed made for one and Jaehwan’s is off kilter while Sewoon’s is lined up nicely against the edges.
He looks back at Sewoon.
Since when did they make it a habit of sleeping together?
Jaehwan closes his mouth and doesn’t say anything in the end.
“Wanna get lunch?” Sewoon asks after he stacks Jaehwan’s clothes neatly on The Chair (even Sewoon realizes that using the chair to sit on is a lost cause). If he notices Jaehwan’s silence, he doesn’t show any sign of it.
“You should brush your teeth first.” Jaehwan says, which definitely isn’t the first thing he wants to discuss but the first thing that comes out.
“Oh.”
Sewoon grabs his toothbrush and Jaehwan’s cup and scurries off to the bathroom, which only serves to remind Jaehwan that Sewoon has a toothbrush at Jaehwan’s place.
Oh.
When did that happen?
Jaehwan wishes he could go back to the blissful ignorance of not realizing he sleeps with Sewoon (platonically) on a regular basis. They’re best friends, of course, but even Jaehwan has to admit that it’s a little weird.
“I really don’t think it’s a huge deal, dude,” Daniel says as he opens the soju bottle. They’re at barbeque waiting for Sewoon and Jisung to join, but that doesn’t mean it’s ever too early to start drinking. “Jisung and I sleep together all the time.”
Jaehwan sets up four shot glasses for Daniel to pour into and takes the cap from him to twist the extra metal strip. “Daniel,” Jaewan starts, “I’m not sure how to tell you this, but you and Jisung have literally been dating for three months. Jisung posted a picture of your 100 day anniversary on Instagram two days ago.”
“Oh, shit, I have to go like that…Anyway, we shared beds before then, too!” Daniel insists. “And remember that time Seongwoo’s bed broke during freshman year and we had to share mine for, like, three weeks and Seongwoo shat on me the entire time for having broad-ass shoulders?” Daniel slides over a shot glass over to Jaehwan and takes one for himself. “I’ve even cuddled you before, dude. Multiple times.”
Jaehwan and Daniel clink shot glasses before downing the first drink of the night, and Daniel refills their glasses quickly.
“Okay, sure, but, one, you and Jisung were already in that weird pre-relationship phase; two, you and Ong shared beds out of necessity, and, three, we don’t cuddle regularly,” Jaehwan reasons out. Daniel does give nice cuddles, though. Maybe he should do something about number three.
“I’m just saying, it’s only weird if you make it weird,” Daniel shrugs.
“What’s weird?”
Jaehwan looks up to see Jisung, with Sewoon trailing behind him. Sewoon is trying to dust out the snow from his hair, shaking it so his bangs fall in front of his eyes. Jisung and Sewoon slide easily into the booth, Jisung pecking a quick kiss onto Daniel’s cheek and Sewoon unintentionally bumping shoulders with Jaehwan as he takes off his coat.
Jaehwan pretends not to notice that Sewoon’s wearing his zip-up hoodie that was definitely hanging off his chair that morning.
“Jaehwan’s overthinking—”
“Dude, I just want some food, can we order now?” Jaehwan cuts in quickly. Sewoon makes a sound of agreement next to Jaehwan and flips open a menu, sliding it over so Jaehwan can also look. He makes no indication that he suspects anything about Jaehwan and Daniel’s conversation.
Jaehwan leans toward Sewoon, pressing his arm just slightly against Sewoon’s, their heads almost touching. Jisung looks between Daniel and Jaehwan, then at Sewoon, and shakes his head.
“We can chat after,” he tells Daniel. “I’m sure it’s a good story.”
Realistically, Daniel’s right. Had Sewoon not jokingly claimed ownership of half of Jaehwan’s bed, there would be no issue. Nothing had really changed between them since Sewoon started coming over, nothing has changed since Jaehwan’s realization, and nothing necessarily will change going forward…
…but now Jaehwan’s noticing things:
Observation 1) On Tuesday, Sewoon and Jaehwan are eating lunch together with a few other friends. Jaehwan is a notoriously messy eater and has crumbs all over his face. Sewoon sighs and gets a napkin to wipe his mouth, muttering, “Hyung, get yourself together.”
This isn’t the first time Sewoon has done this, but with Sewoon’s hand so close to his mouth, Jaehwan can feel the heavy judgment in the look Gwanghyun gives them.
Observation 2) Thursday afternoon, Sewoon comes over with a bag of Gudetama candies from the store. Jaehwan is lazing around on the bed, and Sewoon says, “Bought these because you look like the cartoon on the bag right now.”
Jaehwan jumps up to wrestle Sewoon on the bed and calls him a little brat, and Sewoon laughs, smiling up at Jaehwan, which somehow makes Jaehwan’s heart jump into his throat as he becomes conscious of how closely he’s pinning Sewoon to his bed.
He rolls off and trips over a stray sock.
Nailed it.
Observation 3) On a Friday, Jaehwan comes with a hot chocolate to a corner in Hongdae where Sewoon is busking. There’s a sizeable crowd, which isn’t surprising when Sewoon’s fingers fly across the fretboard of his guitar and his voice slides easily from note to note.
Sewoon ends his cover of a John Mayer song when he makes eye contact with Jaehwan in the crowd, and a grin all but blossoms onto Sewoon’s face as he takes a quick break to tune his guitar. Jaehwan smiles back and pauses.
Oh.
Oh.
So, Jaehwan’s Sewoon Crisis of 2018™ boils down to this: there’s a possibility that his best friend might like him in a not-very-platonic way, and they sleep together regularly. Jaehwan doesn’t really mind either, but the combination is a bit troubling. Is he leading Sewoon on if he lets him stay over? Are you not supposed to cuddle with friends who might like you?
This is all very new and confusing territory for Jaehwan.
One typical Wednesday night finds Sewoon on Jaehwan’s floor with his guitar in his lap, strumming a few chords as he works on an assignment for their music theory class. Jaehwan usually doesn’t notice, since he’s learned to tune anything out. If anything, he even enjoys having Sewoon there to supply some white noise while he works.
Tonight, though, he’s too conscious of Sewoon’s presence, of how much space he’s supposed to have or not have between the two of them, of every sign of affection that Jaehwan doesn’t know if he should categorize as friendly or something more. All Jaehwan’s ears seem to focus on right now are the rustle of Sewoon’s clothes as he shifts, the soft taps of Sewoon’s fingertips against his guitar while he idly brainstorms, the way he hums while trying to figure out the melody to an idea only half-formed.
Jaehwan hates that he’s noticing all these random little things now, how hyper-aware he’s been of Sewoon in general. Now he’s nitpicking for no reason, letting out frustrated sighs and running his hand through his hair every time he realizes that his mind has wandered away from his probability problem set to Sewoon. It’s not Sewoon’s fault, not really, but Jaehwan kind of wants to bang his head on his desk.
The noises stop.
“Hyung, are you okay?” Sewoon asks softly.
Jaehwan lets out a labored exhale. “I really can’t focus on this fucking math class,” he settles on.
“Oh,” Sewoon replies, voice tentative. Jaehwan isn’t looking at him, but he can feel the weight of more words in Sewoon’s voice even if they don’t come out.
“Maybe I ju—”
“I can find a practice room, hyung, sorry about the homework.” Jaehwan cranes his head around to see Sewoon standing up and walking toward his guitar case. “I’ll see you later.”
Shit. “See you.”
Jaehwan tries to focus again to ignore the sound of Sewoon packing up, and not on thinking that he might have fucked up.
A few hours later, Sewoon sends Jaehwan a Kakao sticker of Ryan the Lion rolling around, and Jaehwan snorts out a giggle but doesn’t reply.
It’s fine. They’re fine.
Or maybe not. Sewoon is notoriously straightful, definitely not the type to avoid confrontation or not say what’s on his mind, but Jaehwan’s noticed that Sewoon seems to conveniently have a lot more friends he likes to spend his nights over the past two weeks.
Jaehwan misses Sewoon a little, which Jaehwan doesn’t like to admit for fear of seeming too clingy. Even if they’re not spending as much time together, they still see each other almost every day. The only real change is that they study in the library instead of Jaehwan’s room, since Sewoon had suggested it might help with Jaehwan’s focus. Jaehwan isn’t any more productive, though, and his room is somehow a lot messier without Sewoon around.
“Hey, do you still need to finish the composition assignment?” Jaehwan finds himself asking Sewoon as they pack after their Thursday afternoon music theory class.
Sewoon looks up, and blinks slowly, taking his time before he answers, “No. What’s up?”
“Let’s work on it together?” Jaehwan asks.
“Of course, hyung. I have to see my professor for my literature class, but I can meet you after?”
“Yeah, sure,” Jaehwan agrees as he swings his backpack on. Sewoon’s still putting his pens neatly in his pencil bag as Jaehwan taps his fingers against his backpack strap in a random rhythm. The words come out before Jaehwan can really stop them. “Can we please not go to the library today? I’m pretty sure my attention span is actually worse when I can’t just lie down in my bed every thirty minutes.”
Jaehwan’s tapping gets a little more erratic, though Sewoon doesn’t seem to notice as he looks curiously at Jaehwan, head tilted. For a second, Jaehwan wonders if he should take it back, if he’s being too pushy, when Sewoon just smiles and lets out a short chuckle. “Hyung, that’s definitely not true, but sure,” he answers easily.
Jaehwan grins back as Sewoon finally stands up, ready to leave, and they walk out together before Sewoon goes to find his other professor.
A few hours later, Sewoon is sitting on one end of the bed, notes neatly stacked next to him as he draws out the bassline of a chord progression on his staff paper, while Jaehwan is sprawled out on the floor, papers everywhere trying to figure out what chord inversion to use, if he’s even supposed to use one. He’s been looking at sheet music all day, to the point where the notes are starting to blend into one giant cartoon spider, a black blob with white specks and random lines coming out of it.
Jaehwan lets out a groan and flops onto his back.
“You okay there, hyung?” Sewoon asks, peering over the edge of the bed.
“Just let me perish.” Jaehwan sighs dramatically. “I was never meant to be a musician.”
“Great, less competition for me.”
“I’m wounded.”
Sewoon just smiles serenely. “How far along are you on this assignment?”
Jaehwan chooses to forget the measly five measures he’s finally written as he gets up to sit on the bed next to Sewoon, easily swinging his arm around the younger’s shoulder. “That doesn’t matter, my friend. At least we have our health. You?”
Sewoon snorts but shows Jaehwan his staff paper, handwriting neat and notes filled in precisely. Half a page is filled, and Jaehwan kind of wants to cry because why can’t he do that? “Not much better than you, probably.”
“Well, if we’re going to be struggling on this for the rest of the night, might as well struggle together, right?” Jaehwan pulls out his phone, ready to get two orders of chicken.
Sewoon turns to look at Jaehwan, confused, as if this is an unusual request when prior to two weeks ago, it was a semi-weekly tradition. “Oh, I’m meeting some friends for a surprise birthday party in an hour.”
“What—” Jaehwan stops himself before he sounds too indignant. “That’s at, like, 1 AM.”
Sewoon shrugs and looks back down at his sheet music. “Sorry, hyung. These friends want to be the first to wish Jooheon hyung a good year.”
“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Jaehwan says and puts his phone down. “You owe me late night snacks some other time, though.”
Sewoon shoves him and laughs softly while Jaehwan lets out high-pitched giggle, trying to ignore the pit of unease slowly blooming in his chest.
Exactly six days later, Donghyun plops down next to Jaehwan in the cafeteria during lunch. Youngmin sits across from them, mouth pressed in a thin line because he clearly doesn’t think this is a good idea.
“Are you and Sewoon fighting?” Donghyun asks without even so much as a greeting.
“What?” Jaehwan asks with his mouth full, nearly choking on his food. It’s a reasonable reaction, given he barely speaks to Sewoon’s roommates and is pretty sure Youngmin still hates him for that one time he was over at Sewoon’s and laughed too loudly while Youngmin was trying to nap (and probably because Youngmin still thinks he’s Sewoon’s best friend when Jaehwan, you know, exists).
“This is the most I’ve seen him all month. Like, don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, but it seems a bit fishy.”
“We just want to make sure nothing’s wrong,” Youngmin adds. The unspoken ‘and that you didn’t hurt Sewoon’ does not go unnoticed.
Jaehwan knew eating in public alone was a terrible idea. Curse his insatiable stomach, and his friends for all having 12 PM classes on Wednesdays.
No one says anything. Under the scrutiny of Youngmin’s stare, Jaehwan is suddenly conscious that there’s rice on his face and quickly wipes it away with a napkin before he feels even more foolish.
Jaehwan finally swallows his food and asks, “Is that weird? He’s paying room and board to get his own bed.”
Youngmin’s frown deepens, and Jaehwan immediately regrets his answer. For someone as dweebish as Sewoon claims him to be, Youngmin is still slightly terrifying, especially when it comes to Sewoon Matters.
“I’m just saying, before he’d spend, like, max two days a week at our place, and suddenly I see him every night,” Donghyun continues. He serenely begins to unpack his own lunch. Jaehwan doesn’t remember giving Donghyun permission to eat with him. “Things like that don’t change that quickly for no reason.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Jaehwan says. At least he doesn’t think so. Kind of. “I’m just busy dying because of an upper-level math class my friend tricked me into taking.”
Donghyun winces sympathetically as he munches on a piece of pickled radish. Youngmin continues to look uncomfortable, but he can’t do much when Donghyun’s happily eating (he could, like, eat his own lunch, but Youngmin’s weird).
“If you say so,” Donghyun nods, and offers Youngmin a piece of chicken from his chopsticks. Youngmin frowns but takes it anyway.
It takes another two weeks for Sewoon to come by again, not that Jaehwan’s really keeping track.
pizza tonight? Jaehwan had texted Sewoon the night before after contemplating the message for about twenty minutes, only to fall asleep as he waited for answer that didn’t come until 9 AM that morning (which clearly Jaehwan slept through since it’s a Saturday).
kihyun hyung just gave me a wad of coupons for pizza hut. be there are 6, Sewoon had answered, followed by three stickers of Ryan the Lion celebrating. When Jaehwan finally wakes up to Sewoon’s message, he sends back a smirking Apeach, before suddenly jolting up ten minutes later when he realized it was 3 PM and his room was more of a mess than usual.
Jaehwan spends the better part of the following three hours bargaining with himself on when he should clean, if it really matter, before he settles for shoving all his stray clothes into a laundry hamper for once and hiding it in his closet.
There’s a dull knock on the door, which is weird because usually Sewoon just walks in when he needs to. Jaehwan panics for about two seconds that maybe enough time has passed that Sewoon thinks he needs to be polite again.
“I’m balancing two pizzas and a guitar right now,” Sewoon calls out, and Jaehwan lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. “Please help.”
Ten minutes later, they’re settled, Jaehwan’s laptop playing the newest episode of Masked Singer on the floor. Neither of them have plates, so they use the empty side of the pizza box to catch any stray grease or toppings.
“That’s totally Chen from EXO,” Jaehwan declares with his mouth full. “His tone is way too unique.”
“He did a pretty good job using his lower register, though. It wasn’t immediately obvious.” Sewoon looks around and adds, “Oops, I forgot drinks.”
“I have a water bottle on my desk, if you want it.” Jaehwan waves in the general direction of the mess that’s on his desk and chair.
“How long has it been there?” Sewoon teases, even though he’s already getting up.
“Fuck you, I got it this morning.” Probably. It might have been yesterday. Who knows, really?
Sewoon rolls his eyes good-naturedly, and takes a swig. “Thanks, hyung.”
Even without having to be asked, Sewoon passes the drink over to Jaehwan, who proceeds to drain half of it. “Thirsty?” Sewoon asks with a raised brow.
“The pizza’s salty.”
Once they finish eating, they play a quick game of rock, paper, scissors to figure out who takes out the trash. After Sewoon gracefully loses, best two out of three, and returns from his chores, they settle onto Jaehwan’s bed to put on a movie instead of breaking out their guitars. It’s an American movie that Daniel’s been randomly quoting for the past two weeks now, which has been driving Jisung only a little insane and Jaehwan a lot insane, but maybe if they watch it, Jaehwan will finally understand why Daniel’s been hyping it up so much.
As expected, though, Daniel’s tastes are not to be trusted. They probably should have read the summary of this movie before spending actual money on it, however small the amount, but now Jaehwan feels the obligation to finish what he’s started.
“I don’t get this plot,” Sewoon murmurs, half asleep, head lolling onto Jaehwan’s shoulder.
“Do you think Daniel’s been quoting this because it’s so bad it’s good?” Jaehwan asks. “I don’t think I can be friends with him anymore if he actually enjoyed this for its theatrical value.”
“Daniel’s…liked worse…”
Jaehwan chuckles quietly as Sewoon trails off, his breathing growing steady as it becomes increasingly obvious that he’s no longer awake. Jaehwan shuts his laptop and shifts so Sewoon’s head is resting on his pillow, before he places his laptop precariously on his night table, prays for it not to fall while they’re sleeping, and turns off his lamp.
He’s missed this, settling into the cramped space between Sewoon and the wall. It doesn’t make much sense that he’d looked forward to having someone encroach on his space and make his sleeping scenario almost uncomfortably warm, but he’d rather have Sewoon like this, curled up against his side, than minutely yet perceptibly more distanced from Jaehwan like he’s been the past few weeks.
So, when he wakes up to Sewoon’s arm pulling him into a loose embrace, head nestled just below his chin, this time Jaehwan doesn’t tell anyone about it.
They fall back in their usual routine after that: they take turns buying chicken, and Sewoon’s toothbrush finds its way back into Jaehwan’s toiletries. If asked, Jaehwan will vehemently deny that there is any correlation between the quality of his sleep and how many hours of that sleep were spent cuddling with Sewoon.
Unfortunately, Jaehwan is a pretty shitty liar.
“You’re in a good mood today,” Seongwoo cracks as Jaehwan settles into the seat next to him in the second to last row of the lecture hall, the morning after another movie night. Given how much he’s struggling with probability, Jaehwan should probably sit closer to the front, but alas, Jaehwan has never made good decisions when he’s with Ong Seongwoo. That’s why he’s taking this godforsaken math class to begin with as an applied music major. He really should have never listened to Seongwoo when he said this class would be easy, given that the jackass is a finance major. That might as well be applied math. (“That’s…really not how it works.” “Fuck you, too, Minhyun. I thought I could trust you, but I guess you business school types are all snakes!”)
“Yeah, finally got some good sleep, no thanks to you and Chevy Chase’s Inequality,” Jaehwan shoots back pointedly.
(Behind them, a confused freshman with crooked glasses asks no one in particular, “Isn’t it Chebyshev’s?”)
“Oh ho ho,” Seongwoo leers as he flips open his notebook. “Did you get laid?”
“What? No—Why is that the first thing that you ask?” Jaehwan’s only a little bit flustered. A small, tiny, bit. “Who would I be fucking on a Monday night anyway?”
“We know exactly who you’d be fucking on a Monday night, Kim Jaehwan.”
Seongwoo knows Jaehwan hasn’t been laid since that really awkward encounter with a girl from his freshman Chinese literature class. Still, Jaehwan’s mind flashes to waking up with no feeling in his right arm that morning because Sewoon easily rolled over into the very safe, respectful (and admittedly miniscule) space Jaehwan had put between them while they were asleep. Sewoon was still fast asleep and lightly snoring, his hair a bird’s nest—Jaehwan’s heart had only seized for two seconds, which he counts as a success.
The smug grin on Seongwoo’s face makes Jaehwan think Seongwoo knows exactly what he’s thinking of, which is admittedly lame because he shouldn’t feel so embarrassed for thinking about cuddles with his best friend.
“The only fucking that’s happening on Mondays is these probability problem sets royally screwing with me,” Jaehwan finally settles for. Smooth.
The professor finally swoops into the room, and Jaehwan decides he probably should dig through his backpack for a notebook.
“You know, most things in life are pretty straightforward.”
Jaehwan looks up. There’s a smile on Seongwoo’s face, like he knows something Jaehwan doesn’t. He feels like he’s seen that look on a lot of his friends’ faces these days, so Jaehwan has a feeling Seongwoo isn’t talking about problem sets at all.
“Sounds fake, but okay.”
Seongwoo frowns.
“This is the last time I try to give you advice.”
Still, he keeps turning Seongwoo’s words over in his mind.
Most things in life are pretty straightforward.
Why would Seongwoo say that?
Chances are, Seongwoo and Daniel have probably been chatting, which means Seongwoo definitely knows about Jaehwan freaking out about cuddling Sewoon and then freaking out about not cuddling Sewoon.
Jaehwan freaking out about cuddling is, at minimum, 60% understandable, if not a bit of an overreaction.
Him freaking out about not cuddling is, in part, a reaction against the fear of losing Sewoon, which is probably 30% understandable but definitely a large overreaction.
So why does he overreact?
Jaehwan stares up at the ceiling. Most things in life are pretty straightforward, and so is the answer to this question, if he’s willing to admit it to himself.
Jaehwan turns back on his side.
Sewoon comes back from the bathroom and quietly shuts the door behind him. As he crawls into bed, Jaehwan shifts closer to the wall and gives up a bit of his comforter. Sewoon’s feet are cold when they tuck themselves between Jaehwan’s calves.
“Ugh, why would you do that?” Jaehwan whines, shuddering at the sudden chill.
There’s enough light through the window that Jaehwan can just make out the smug grin on Sewoon’s face as he apologizes, without much sincerity, “Sorry, hyung, I can’t help it when your bed’s this small.”
“Show me some respect. I’m your hyung.”
“I’m definitely mentally older than you,” Sewoon shoots back. They laugh, because Sewoon’s right, and Jaehwan thinks, not for the first time, that he really could get used to this—has gotten used to this, really.
Jaehwan spends a beat too long staring at Sewoon’s lips for it to be normal. When he catches himself, Jaehwan looks back up at Sewoon’s eyes. Sewoon stares back, eyes uncharacteristically wide and curious as he leans forward.
Most things in life are pretty straightforward.
Jaehwan meets him halfway.
It’s a light press of lips, Jaehwan’s eyes fluttering closed. Sewoon inches over to press himself closer against Jaehwan and make himself more comfortable as Jaehwan throws his arm around Sewoon’s shoulders to anchor him and deepens the kiss.
Another kiss, and a kiss after that.
Jaehwan has never thought too much about what kissing Sewoon would be like, but he wants to laugh just a little because he can taste the rice cakes they had for dinner on Sewoon’s mouth as their lips glide over and against each other’s. Somehow, though, it’s not too unlike how they’ve woken up most mornings, legs tangled and bodies slotted together just so, Sewoon burrowed in Jaehwan’s arms and radiating body heat like a small furnace.
Sewoon tentatively swipes his tongue against Jaehwan’s bottom lip before Jaehwan startles and pulls away.
“Was that not okay?” Sewoon asks quietly, after Jaehwan doesn’t say anything for a little bit.
Jaehwan’s not entirely sure, because even if he liked it, he’s still a little freaked out about where this might head. Yes, kissing Sewoon was more than okay, but Jaehwan doesn’t think he’s ready and he’d really rather not fuck up whatever this is—those moments right before the kiss, the banter, companionship.
There’s a beat of silence. Two beats. Three beats.
“Do you want me to go?” Sewoon whispers again, voice patient. Not for the first time, Jaehwan’s breath catches because even when he’s a mess, Sewoon’s the foundation that always brings him home.
Jaehwan can still feel Sewoon’s breath against his lips, can just make out the sleepy intensity of his eyes, the softness of his cheeks in the dim moonlight. Jaehwan tries to calm the pounding of his heart by matching his breathing to the steady rise and fall of Sewoon’s chest, counting 1, 2, 3, 4…2, 2, 3, 4.
A measure of silence passes, and he shifts to rest his hand on Sewoon’s waist.
Most things in life are pretty straightforward.
“Stay.”