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Jihoon is absolutely not at fault. Let’s establish that straight from the get-go.
These sorts of things just happen when you practice magic. There’s just no way Jihoon could’ve predicted this.
Sure, in retrospect, maybe Jihoon would’ve done a few things differently, but it’s not like he possesses the power of foresight. If he did, he never would’ve befriended Woojin in the first place.
Okay, this is a lie, because Woojin is the only person who is willing to put up with Jihoon’s bullshit on a regular basis and Jihoon treasures their friendship with his whole heart, even if he would never admit that out loud. It’s just that, given their current predicament, he’s feeling understandably bitter right now.
Unfortunately, Jihoon wasn’t blessed with the powers of precognition, and as much as it pains him to admit it, his magical abilities are depressingly standard. He can read spell books and brew potions and cast simple charms with a decent success rate, but he doesn't possess any so-called 'extraordinary' abilities; those cases are few and far between in the magical community.
He’s just like any other university student in Seoul—groping blindly at the darkness in front of him as he treads forward one step at a time, hoping that in a few more years he’ll emerge from the tunnel and step out into the light, hopefully with a degree that proves to be moderately useful and will help kickstart his career. The only difference is that he’ll graduate with his peers from the Seoul Institute of Magical Arts and his diploma will read ‘with a specialty in Charms & Incantations’.
And just like any other university student, he’s prone to mishaps—especially when sleep-deprived.
Fine, maybe Jihoon is a tiny bit at fault, but Woojin definitely shares the blame. After all, Woojin is the one who decided to be an obnoxious overachiever and turn in his research paper for their ‘Theoretical Magic’ course a whole week and a half before the due date. Jihoon hadn’t even decided on the topic for his yet.
This in and of itself, isn’t the problem. Woojin has always been a bit of a prodigy, a fact that Jihoon often forgets despite their ten years of friendship, mostly due to the fact that Woojin’s personality is so playful; a veritable child trapped in an adult’s body.
Jihoon also tends to forget that Woojin has quote-unquote “excellent time management skills” and that a good majority of the time that he’s not spending with Jihoon (about 30% of his waking hours—their friends don’t call them “codependent” for nothing) is dedicated to studying. Whereas Jihoon tends to divide his Woojin-free hours between snacking, gaming, and other various forms of procrastination until he invariably realizes how late it’s gotten and he makes a last ditch effort to get his homework done on time.
The problem lies in Jihoon’s fun, unique personality quirk (Seongwoo calls it a personality flaw, but then again, what does Seongwoo know?) where he tends to be slightly over-competitive.
This is how he’s always been and his friendship with Woojin has always involved an element of friendly rivalry, starting from the day they met: the first day of Grade Five when Woojin decided to go head-to-head with Jihoon and prove he could cast the best levitating charm. They were ultimately both bested by Yoojung and ended up with six weeks of detention after they intentionally levitated items to crash into one another at rocketing speed. He’d ended up with a best friend though, his first friend, so it was pretty worth it all things said.
Things are mildly more peaceful now.
Still, it’s a sore spot for him that Woojin naturally excels in every area of life, while Jihoon struggles just to keep up with him. Woojin has better grades (because he studies), is in better shape (he has abs now which is annoying), is better at making friends (they’re both awkward around new people, but Jihoon decidedly more so), is more organized (Jihoon admittedly doesn’t try to compete in this area), and gets asked on dates more often than Jihoon (not that anything ever comes of them anyway).
(Sungwoon tells him this last one is only because Jihoon gives off unapproachable ‘stay-away-from-me-peasant’ vibes and Jihoon had promptly kicked his brother in the shin for that. So yeah, Sungwoon might have a point.)
This is why, when Woojin tells him that Professor Kwon said she’d already read his paper and loved it so much that she wants him to present it at some pretentious conference, Jihoon feels both extreme pride for his best friend and a sharp stab of envy in his gut.
It’s also why Jihoon drags himself to the university library that same afternoon, brimming with the determination to write the most mind-blowing term paper ever.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Jihoon slams into the library with a sense of purpose, swipes his forged ‘special access’ card that grants him elusive admittance to the collection with the most powerful spellbooks, and marches straight for the shelf containing the most ancient and impressive-looking texts.
Once he settles down into a cozy corner, he selects the volume from the top of the stack he'd gathered, blows the layer of dust off the cover, and flips through the gold-leafed pages until he finds the section on legendary spells. Then, he begins to read.
His determination fuels him for the rest of the afternoon and for a while after dinner (he takes a short break to eat with Woojin, though he refuses to explain what he’s been up to), but by the time the clock strikes 11:00pm, his eyes begin to drift closed. These ancient texts are both exceedingly dry and confusing and Jihoon has probably spent just as much time looking up the meaning of specific words as he’s spent actually processing what he’s reading.
He can’t even remember what he’s researching anymore—some archaic spell that supposedly links souls?—and his mind inevitably wanders to what Woojin is doing right now. Woojin had said he was craving ice cream earlier and Jihoon is definitely getting 'the study munchies.' He types out a short text to Woojin asking if he still wants to go and then refocuses on the paragraph in front of him, muttering the words under his breath as he reads with the hope that they’ll better stick in his mind.
"This ancient spell is a powerful magic, but since 1912 it has been officially designated as Class NE for Nearly Extinct due to the repeated failed attempts by even the most practiced spell-casters. It’s considered a highly volatile form of active magic and it chooses when to act based on its assessment of the caster itself…” Jihoon carefully types up the paragraph, going word-by-word so as not to miss any important details.
Though the history behind the spell is long and vague, the actual incantation is surprisingly simple, merely a sequence of three words which Jihoon whispers aloud as he transcribes them.
As soon as he speaks the words, the text in front of him illuminates, lifting off the page and coming together to form a golden orb of light that floats towards Jihoon before it touches his chest and suddenly pops—bursting into nothingness. The entire experience lasts only a handful of seconds and then Jihoon is left staring at the dull pages of the book in front of him, feeling no different than before. He blinks. Weird.
Perhaps Jihoon should be more concerned about what just transpired, but he's not entirely sure that he didn't imagine it; it wouldn’t be the first (or even the twentieth) time he’s drifted off while studying. Magic is strange anyway, and attending a magical university means he’s exposed to all sorts of oddities in his daily life and classes, so much so that he's grown pretty much immune to them now. It takes more than a glowing textbook to freak him out.
Jihoon reads till the end of the page before he shuts the book. Woojin hasn’t texted back which means he’s probably asleep. It’s perfectly fine with Jihoon though, because there’s a heavy pressure building behind his eyelids, threatening to push them closed, and he would like nothing more than to crawl into a warm bed right now. With a feeling of accomplishment that only follows a productive study session, Jihoon gathers his belongings and heads back to his dorm.
He falls asleep the moment his face touches the pillow.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
When Jihoon wakes up the following morning, it’s without the familiar feeling of grouchiness that’s usually set off by the shrill blaring of his alarm clock. In fact, he feels weirdly energetic. There’s a feeling of buzzing anticipation running through his veins—is this what it feels like to be well-rested?—and he forgoes his usual half hour of hitting the snooze button, deciding to get out of bed and grab a proper breakfast for once instead of waiting for Woojin to sneak him a muffin in class.
In the bed across the room, Jinyoung is sound asleep. This has literally never happened before; on most mornings, Jinyoung is already long gone by the time Jihoon drags himself out of bed. Jihoon gets ready in the dark, doing his best to be as quiet as a possible out of respect to his roommate, who has always understood that Jihoon’s sleep is sacred and never once disturbed his slumber. He shrugs on the hoodie on top of his “acceptably clean” clothes pile and slides on a pair of jeans, before he leaves with his backpack and keys.
It must be Jihoon’s lucky day because not only has he woken up on time to indulge in the truly spectacular breakfast spread, but he also finds Woojin in the throng of hungry students without any effort, tucked away in one of the booths with Daehwi and Guanlin, somehow exactly where Jihoon expected him to be.
Everyone turns to stare at Jihoon in shock when he sets down his tray on their table and slides in next to Woojin. Jihoon feels a sudden pinprick of surprise as well, though he can’t discern why.
“Hi hyung!” Guanlin is the first to recover and greet him properly, complete with a gummy smile. “You’re up early.”
Jihoon returns his greeting while Daehwi shakes his head in disbelief.
“Are you under a possession spell? Because that’s literally the only logical reason for why you’re not in bed right now.”
“Ha ha, very funny.”
“I’m with Daehwi on this one,” Woojin chimes in. “Remember that time Jinyoung accidentally charmed your bed to start walking on its own? It took a full two minutes before you finally woke up.”
Jihoon does remember because it’s hard to forget waking up to Woojin’s panicked yells as he pulled Jihoon up from the newly animated bed while Jinyoung waved a blanket like a bullfighter in a rather ridiculous attempt to tame it.
“I couldn’t sleep in,” Jihoon replies digging into his steamed egg and rice with gusto. “It’s a horrible hardship, so be nice to me.”
“Fine,” Woojin agrees with a laugh and a feeling of warmth unfurls in Jihoon’s chest. “But only until the end of breakfast. Then I’m going to hex you for stealing my warmest hoodie.”
Daehwi tilts his head, assessing Jihoon’s outfit. “I thought something looked off. It’s because you don’t look a fashion terrorist for once.”
Jihoon magnanimously chooses to ignore Daehwi’s jibe—mostly because he has yet to win a single argument over fashion against Daehwi.
“This is yours? It was in my room,” Jihoon says, turning to face Woojin. He’s suddenly hit with an inexplicable, overwhelming sense of longing for what he’s pretty sure must be the crispy bacon on Woojin’s plate, and he deftly swipes it with his fork.
“Now you’re stealing my bacon too,” Woojin grumbles, but he doesn’t pull his plate away.
“Not to interrupt this adorable moment between boyfriends," Daehwi says sweetly, causing both Jihoon and Woojin to pull matching faces of disgust, "but Jihoon since you're here, I need you to help me settle an argument. Guanlin,” he pauses to shoot a poisonous glare at their friend, “thinks I’m being difficult because I want to host a kissing booth at the Winter Solstice Festival. I think it’s a great idea.”
Guanlin rolls his eyes. “I didn’t say that. I said you’re being difficult because it’s clearly just an elaborate ruse to get Jinyoung to kiss you. It’s not like you’ll have time to get it approved anyway.”
“I’m pretty sure they only let you host a booth if there’s a magic involved,” Woojin adds, unhelpfully.
“The magic is in the kissing!” Daehwi says, throwing up his hands in frustration. “Love is the purest form of magic. Has Disney taught you nothing?"
"Disney bears literally zero resemblance to actual magic."
"Cynic," Daehwi replies, dismissing Woojin and rounding on Jihoon. "Jihoon, what do you think?”
Jihoon looks up from his plate to spare Daehwi a glance. He squints and tries to backtrack their conversation because he definitely wasn’t listening. “Wait, you want to kiss Jinyoung?”
Woojin and Guanlin to burst out into laughter while Daehwi lets out a defeated groan. “I don't know why I even asked. The only things you care about are food, games, and Woojin.”
Jihoon shrugs, unbothered. Daehwi’s clearly exaggerating, but it’s true that Jihoon’s introverted nature means he doesn’t usually involve himself in other people’s drama. “Just tell Jinyoung you want to kiss him. I’m sure he won’t mind.”
“I can’t just tell him,” Daehwi replies, far too dramatically for what the situation warrants. “One day, when you fall in love you’ll understand how delicate matters of the heart are.”
Jihoon doesn’t see the big deal. People always over-complicate romance. “So tell him delicately.”
Daehwi’s voice turns wistful. “I need a grand gesture.”
“Then Jihoon is not the person to ask,” Woojin chortles. “If Jihoon ever does a grand romantic gesture we can safely assume someone’s slipped him a love potion.”
“Shut up, Woojin. You’re not exactly an expert. When was the last time you went on more than two dates with the same person?”
“Since that’s still more than anyone else here, I’m pretty sure that does make me the expert.”
Jihoon has a retort ready on his tongue, but Guanlin cuts him off with a loud groan. “Can we please stop talking about this? Daehwi, just tell him.”
Daehwi levels him with an unimpressed look. “You’re all useless.”
They continue their bickering and Jihoon tunes them out, focusing on his breakfast instead. One nice thing about attending a magical university is that the cafeteria food is consistently excellent; there’s nothing like a bit of magic to enhance the flavor.
Jihoon only looks up from his plate when Woojin prods him in the side with his elbow.
“Do you want to go to that?” Woojin asks, excitement dancing in his eyes.
“The festival?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been.”
Jihoon wrinkles his nose. “But isn’t that sort of thing only for couples?”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Woojin responds nonchalantly, but he lets the subject drop.
Jihoon’s earlier good mood deflates slightly and he feels a heavy sense of disappointment settle in his stomach. It's sudden and confusing, especially since he was enthusiastically enjoying his meal not moments before, and he has no idea what to make of it.
He returns to his breakfast, but the food doesn't taste nearly as good this time.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
If Jihoon were more in tune with his emotions, perhaps he would’ve realized something was very off during breakfast.
As it is, he doesn’t tend to spend much time self-reflecting on his feelings, and despite the early warning signs, it takes Woojin being his clumsy self for Jihoon to finally consider that there might be a decidedly magical explanation for his sudden mood swings and odd, out-of-place emotions.
The revelation occurs during their Modern Potions Lab.
This class is one he shares with Woojin, so naturally, they’re lab partners. The assignment they’ve been given is to brew a potion that can be used as a basic dark magic repellent. Simple. Once they prepare their ingredients and do the requisite mixing, all that's left to do is wait for the mixture to distill. Their conversation wanders to other topics while they keep their boredom at bay.
Woojin is in the middle of passionately describing the latest video game he acquired—excitement building within Jihoon just hearing him talk about it—and gesticulating wildly as he tries to encompass just how mind-blowingly awesome it is, when he knocks a errant fist into the flask containing their potion.
Most of it ends up on the floor, but a decent amount gets on Woojin’s shirt and bare arm, and he lets out a pained hiss as the liquid sears his skin.
The stinging pain that blooms in Jihoon’s left forearm definitely doesn’t belong to him.
The acidic potion bubbles up on Woojin’s skin and he frantically turns on the tap at their station to wash it off. As the water washes over Woojin’s arm, the pain Jihoon feels miraculously subsides, soothing from a burn into a dull sting.
“Are you making fun of me?” Woojin accuses between clenched teeth as he takes notice of Jihoon clutching his own arm, face scrunched in pain.
“Not this time,” Jihoon denies. “My arm hurts too. It’s like I felt that.”
“Hilarious. Sharing in my pain and all that. Ha ha. What a great friend you are.”
“I’m serious,” Jihoon says, annoyed. He doesn’t know why he’s hurting, just that he is.
Woojin ignores him in favor of grabbing some paper towels to gently dab dry his skin; the potion has left visible blistering along his arm. Curious, Jihoon rolls up the sleeves of the hoodie he’s wearing and sees the same mark.
Jihoon holds out his forearm so it aligns with Woojin’s and watches in mild satisfaction as his friend’s jaw drops open in surprise.
“I told you,” Jihoon says. “They’re identical.”
They are. Even down to the identical patterning of the raised and reddened bumps. Jihoon runs a finger experimentally along the blistered burn on Woojin’s forearm. Woojin hisses again at the sharp flare of pain which also arises in Jihoon’s own arm.
“Jihoon, what the fuck,” Woojin complains, ripping his arm away from Jihoon’s touch. “Was that necessary?”
"Yes," Jihoon says emphatically, "because that hurt me too.” He looks down at his arm and pouts. “This is going to scar.”
Woojin scoffs. “Big deal. Glamours are like your trademark or whatever.”
It’s true. With magic, like with any subject, every individual will take to certain aspects well and others not so well. Jihoon has always had a profinity for any type of masking or aesthetic charm. They don’t hold much practical value, but at least he always looks good.
Jihoon follows Woojin’s advice. He covers his burn with his hand, closes his eyes, and whispers an incantation he's long since memorized as he focuses his energy on the mark. When he removes his hand, the blistering patch is nowhere to be seen—only smooth, soft skin. It still hurts like hell though, since it’s not like he knows much healing magic by heart (and even if he did, those spells always require ointments, tonics, and a variety of leafy things that Jihoon doesn’t have on him to work).
Woojin holds out his arm expectantly. “Do mine too.”
“Why should I? You’re the one who burned us both. Suffer.”
”How is this my fault?” Woojin asks, incredulous. “It's not like I spilled any on you."
Well, that’s technically true.
“Fine,” Jihoon says, reaching for Woojin’s arm, “then explain to me why I got burnt too.”
"I don't know, but it’s obviously magical,” Woojin says as he waits for Jihoon to complete the incantation. Jihoon once again pulls his hand away and Woojin’s skin looks as flawless as before.
“Maybe it's the ingredients? Did we do it wrong?” Woojin continues, musing aloud. He reaches for their assignment sheet to have another look. “There’s no good reason for magical transference though. It’s not like we’re blood bonded or anything.”
At that moment, Jihoon's mind decides to be useful for once and he recalls a passage he read, late last night, about bonds. About linking souls and sharing pain and emotions. And the golden bubble of light that had burst in front of his eyes when he was exhausted and thinking of Woojin and ice cream.
“Oh.”
“Did you figure it out?” Woojin asks. Curiosity surges within Jihoon, and now that he's thinking about it, it’s easy to identify that the emotion doesn’t belong to him. It’s Woojin’s curiosity that he’s feeling.
"I think I may know what’s happening."
“Care to elaborate?” And yup, now there’s a flare of annoyance being added to the mix. Subtle at first, a foreign presence, before the emotion settles and takes hold until it becomes nearly indistinguishable from Jihoon’s authentic feelings.
"First, promise me you won't laugh."
"I'm in too much pain to find the humor in anything right now," Woojin replies flatly and with a pointed look at his arm.
Jihoon chews on his lip before he heaves a big sigh. “So… I think I may be cursed?"
Woojin raises an eyebrow, but the sudden rush of alarmed concern that hits Jihoon liked a tidal wave undercuts Woojin’s calm facade. "Who cursed you?"
"Well," Jihoon says, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot, "I did? To myself.”
The corners of Woojin’s lips twitch.
“It was an accident!"
Apparently, Woojin can’t hold it in anymore and loud laughter spills from his lips. “You cursed yourself?” Woojin asks, once he’s finally recovered enough to speak. “Just when I thought you couldn’t be any more of a loser.”
“Let me remind you that you've had tons of dumb magical accidents," Jihoon points out in a huff. He can feel Woojin’s amusement at the edges of his subconscious but refuses to give in to the emotion.
"Yeah, like spells backfiring. I’ve never gotten myself cursed though.”
"Well don't get too smug just yet," Jihoon snipes, "because guess what? You're cursed too. We both are."
Woojin's gloating smile slides off his face and he turns ghostly pale. "What did you just say?" He grabs Jihoon by the collar of his hoodie and shakes him. Jihoon smacks his hand away.
"I said you're just as screwed as me because we've been cursed together.”
“What type of curse? Also, how?”
“Um, I think it’s a soul bond curse?” Jihoon mutters with a grimace. Woojin is predictably displeased. “It happened while I was studying? Probably. I was reading about soul bonds and then the book started glowing so I’m guessing they might be related.”
Woojin stares at him like he's an idiot. "I would think so." He takes a deep breath to try and calm himself down. It doesn’t work. “Please tell me you know the counter-spell.”
“I… don’t,” Jihoon admits. “I only just realized what was happening.”
In Jihoon’s defense, none of this is the least bit ordinary or expected—soul bonds are a nearly extinct magic after all. Plus, he was so tired by the end of his study marathon last night that most of the research he did had since slipped from his mind and become a long forgotten memory. That’s why notes exist.
“So it’s a soul bond. What does that even mean?” Woojin is anxious; Jihoon can feel it. "Can you like, read my mind now or something?"
“No, I can't read your mind. Your impure thoughts are safe, heathen," Jihoon reassures. "As for what it means... well, I know I can feel your pain.”
Jihoon gives his right forearm—the one without the burn—a hard pinch. Woojin winces. “And you can feel mine too I guess.”
“So it’s just pain then? What a shitty bond.”
“There’s an emotional connection too. I remember reading that. I can feel how you’re feeling, which is mostly anger and a lot of panic, and I know those aren’t my feelings, so…” Jihoon trails off.
“You feel my feelings?
“…Yes.”
“So does that mean the feelings I’m feeling are your feelings? Not my own feelings?” Woojin stumbles over the words in his hysteria.
“Yes. No. I don’t know?”
“This doesn’t make any sense, Jihoon. Fix this.”
“I will. Just stop panicking, asshole. You’re stressing me out."
“Pretty sure that’s just because I’m stressed. Because apparently, you feel what I feel!”
Jihoon groans. “I’m not meant to have this many emotions. How do you even function with this much anxiety?”
“By being over-prepared and good at everything.” Woojin replies, matter-of-fact. “So I can avoid anxiety-inducing situations.”
Oh. That actually makes Jihoon feel kind of terrible and a lot guilty on Woojin’s behalf. It’s not like he wants to cause his friend to have a nervous breakdown.
Jihoon’s never been great at comforting people—Woojin is far better at that sort of thing—but he searches for something that might help, at least somewhat.
“Try not to worry so much,” Jihoon finally settles on. “I’ll go back to the library and find the counter-spell.”
It sounds kind of pathetic and not nearly as impactful as he’d hoped, but it seems to do the trick, and Woojin exhales. Panic starts to ebb and relief fills it’s spaces.
“You’re right. It’s going to be fine. Let’s just finish this lab quickly so we can go there and reverse this.”
Jihoon nods and reaches for fresh ingredients to cut. He flashes Woojin his most reassuring smile. “We’ll sort this out. It’s just a harmless mistake.”
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
It’s not a harmless mistake.
They also don’t find the counter-spell in any of the books.
Despite having to do redo their entire lab assignment, they finish it as quickly as possible. Woojin is careful to keep his hands at his side and not to knock anything down this time.
Afterward, they stop by the campus mart to purchase a bottle of magical anti-burn ointment before heading straight to the library. The book Jihoon was reading last night is still there, but unfortunately, it’s of little use.
Jihoon flips the text open to the last page he can remember reading, while Woojin peers over his shoulder to get a closer look.
The book confirms Jihoon’s hypotheses—that soul bonds involved shared experiences between the linked souls, namely the sharing of pain and emotions—but provides very little new information. It basically regurgitates the same facts that Jihoon already knows before devolving into a lot of vague phrasing about amplifying the connections and energies between two magic users. None of it is concrete enough to be of any practical use.
“Hold on,” Woojin interjects, “it says that soul bonds only work on soulmates. Does this mean I’m your soulmate?”
“Clearly it made a mistake,” Jihoon says definitively, willing himself not to flush, nevermind the fact that Woojin can probably sense his embarrassment anyway. He’s not even sure why he feels that way; it’s just Woojin after all. But that’s it, of course, it’s just Woojin. How embarrassing is it that Jihoon’s love life is so utterly prospectless that the spell mistook Woojin for his soulmate? “This entire thing is one giant mistake.”
“I just don’t get how this happened to me,” Woojin sighs, leaning back into his chair. “Or why.”
Jihoon chooses not to share his theory on the spell confusing his closest friend for his soulmate, because again, it’s embarrassing.
“I don’t like this any better than you do,” he remarks instead as he continues skimming the text. “Hold on, I found the spell.”
Sure enough, the incantation he whispered last night is there in crisp, innocent lettering on the page. There’s only the one spell though, and no details on how to break it. Jihoon tries repeating the words for good measure anyway—several times, in fact—but nothing happens.
There’s no glow. No light. Nothing.
“That was anticlimactic.”
“I’m trying,” Jihoon gripes. “Maybe you could put that ‘Straight-A’ mind of yours to similar use.”
“Fine.” Woojin stands up and wanders to the shelves, returning ten minutes later with a stack of books on curse-breaking and spell dissolution and even a few on blood bonds.
They spend the next three hours pouring over meticulously detailed accounts of how to break all sorts of hexes and dark magics, often accompanied by grisly images, but there is nothing to be found on soul bonds. The subject is woefully under-researched.
When Woojin has to head to his 1:30pm class, Jihoon decides to call it quits as well. He leaves the library frustrated and none the wiser. The only thing he knows for certain is that isn’t going to find his answer in these books.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Jihoon’s next course of action is to find someone smarter and more experienced than him to give him advice. He considers his brother for all of two seconds, before dismissing it, knowing that he would have too many prying questions. Also Jihoon hates to admit failure, ever, and somehow this feels a bit like one.
That means Daniel is out as well, because there's no way he'd be able to keep a secret from Sungwoon. Their limited circle of extended friends—Daehwi, Jinyoung, Guanlin—are also out because they're generally useless anyway and Jihoon really doesn't want this to become a "thing." He wants to clear everything up as swiftly as possible and return to being just best friends with Woojin.
This is how he ends up at the medical campus. Healing Magic is popular path for many wizards and witches, but today Jihoon is looking for someone in particular. He knows the odds of finding Minhyun are kind of slim since it is a big campus, but then again, it’s the middle of the day, and Minhyun is undoubtedly around somewhere. Plus, Jihoon is desperate.
Jihoon could, of course, go to a professor and try to ask them for help, but that would incriminate him of two things. First and foremost that he was doing spells which he didn’t know the consequence of (highly dangerous and liable to lead to suspension since safety is so highly prioritized on campus) and second, that he was snooping in the restricted section of the library with a falsified pass (he and Woojin enchanted them their freshman year).
If there is any way to resolve this without involving his professors, or worse, a dean, he’d prefer to find that first.
He finally spots Minhyun sitting at one of the picnic tables outside of the main medical plaza. He appears to be eating and enjoying the company of another person, and it’s said person that gives Jihoon pause. Too late though, because Sungwoon sees him first.
“Jihoonie,” Sungwoon says, excitedly, even standing up to greet him, and Jihoon has no choice but to approach and accept his brother’s hug because he doesn’t want to actually appear like a total asshole in front of Minhyun, who is Sungwoon’s best friend after all. That's the only reason Jihoon even knows him.
Minhyun greets Jihoon with a smile and Jihoon returns it.
“Aww, did you come all the way here to visit me?” Sungwoon asks.
“Why would I come to the medical campus to find you?” Jihoon scoffs. “You don't even study healing. Why are you even here?”
Sungwoon pulls a wounded look, but it's just for show because he's smiling again the next moment. “I came to make sure our delicate flower Minhyun here doesn’t wilt from lack of sunlight and proper nutrients.”
“He brought me lunch,” Minhyun beams.
It’s kind of weird how the two of them behave, Jihoon thinks, especially considering that his brother has a boyfriend and he's convinced that someone who looks like Minhyun can't possibly be single either. But then again, maybe that's just because Jihoon would never be the sort of person to bother crossing town to bring a friend lunch. Well, maybe for Woojin if the circumstances were really dire, but most likely he'd just tell him to buy it himself.
“Are you looking for anything, Jihoon? I can help you find where to go on campus if you’re lost,” Minhyun offers.
“Actually, I came here to find you,” Jihoon admits, taking a seat at their table. “I need some advice.”
Sungwoon splutters. “Wait, you came to find Minhyun for advice before your own brother?” Sungwoon asks, a look of deep betrayal crossing his face.
“Last time I came to you for advice you told me to go work it out myself and that you were busy. So yeah, I’m going to Minhyun this time instead,” Jihoon retorts.
That's not the real reason, actually, since those sorts of exchanges are commonplace between the two of them, but Jihoon really doesn’t want Sungwoon to find out about his predicament, especially since Sungwoon never finds himself in these sorts of situations and Jihoon seems to be a magnet for magical mishaps.
“That was different,” Sungwoon argues back, “it was mine and Daniel’s anniversary, you knew I was stressed.”
Jihoon ignores him. Minhyun gloats quietly, flashing a smirk at Sungwoon.
“So then Jihoon, where can I offer you advice?”
Jihoon takes a deep breath. There’s no subtle way to ease into this conversation so he just dives right in. “What do you know about soul bonds?”
“Soul bonds?” Minhyun considers his question. “Like hypothetically speaking? Not that much if I’m being honest. It's not typically taught to Healing Magic students. I know that that it’s really rare and it only happens to soulmates. It’s something like a one in a ten thousand chance you would even find the person who your soul is compatible with though, and even rarer for the magic to work.”
Jihoon inwardly sighs. Minhyun didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know. “Okay, but, do you know anything more specific? Like about the spell itself?”
“Hold on,” Sungwoon cuts in, seeing right through Jihoon’s admittedly poorly veiled questions. He hasn't known Jihoon his whole life for nothing. “Who are you soul bonded to?”
“I’m not—“
Jihoon’s protestations are cut off by a familiar, cheerful voice. “Hi Sungwoon-hyung, Minhyun-hyung,” the voice interrupts. He turns to see Woojin strolling towards them. He’s in a much better mood than this morning.
Sungwoon and Minhyun return his greetings.
“How did you even find me?” Jihoon asks, not even bothering to ask if Woojin was looking for him, because why else would he be here?
“I don’t know,” Woojin says, slowly, “I just wanted to check in with you about," he waves his hand vaguely in lieu of saying the word, but Jihoon gets what he means, "and sort of had an instinct that you would be here? Um, I mean, I just guessed, actually.” Woojin is clearly trying to be and miserably failing at being subtle.
Sungwoon catches on immediately.
“You’re soul bonded to Woojin?!” Sungwoon asks, delighted. He turns to Minhyun and they share an excited look.
“Lower your voice,” Jihoon hisses. “Yes, Woojin and I soul bonded, but it was an accident, okay? We’re trying to break it.”
Woojin nods along vehemently.
Minhyun blinks slowly as though to process what Jihoon just said. "You’re trying to break it?”
“Well yeah,” Jihoon says. “The spell was never even supposed to work. We didn't want this to happen.”
“Oh. I see,” Sungwoon says, sounding utterly disappointed. Matter of fact, Minhyun looks that way too. Jihoon’s not sure why they expected either he or Woojin to be happy with a soul bond.
"I guess I thought—" Sungwoon shakes his head and smiles. "Nevermind. If you didn't want it in the first place then it's probably a good idea to break it. If you can figure out how."
"That's kind of the problem," Jihoon mutters.
“Well, I don’t know much more about soul bonds myself, do you Sungwoon?” Minhyun says. Sungwoon shakes his head. Jihoon tries not to feel too disappointed, but it sits heavy in his chest. He looks over at Woojin who appears just as dejected.
“But Youngmin specializes in some of the more esoteric incantations," Minhyun continues. "He might be of more help. He left for a weekend conference around an hour ago, though, but I can leave him a message for you.”
“That would be great,” Woojin says, looking relieved. He’s always had a lot of faith in Youngmin.
Jihoon can feel this feeling of relief spread through him as well. Though it's still very difficult, after a couple of hours, he's getting a bit more used to recognizing which emotions aren't his, and relief is definitely a foreign emotion because he definitely isn’t reassured by the idea of Youngmin possibly knowing something. It’s so vague, plus they’ll have to wait around, just stuck like this. Jihoon hates waiting.
“We’ll talk to Youngmin-hyung,” Woojin continues. “I’m sure he'll have the answer."
“Yeah, thanks,” Jihoon echoes halfheartedly.
"Try not to worry too much," Minhyun advises. "We'll keep an eye out for any other information and let you know if we find anything.
Sungwoon nods in agreement. "And, hey, maybe you'll even decide you prefer to be soul-bonded."
Woojin and Jihoon both wrinkle their noses disgust at that. Jihoon doesn't know why it makes both his brother and Minhyun laugh so hard.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
“I’ve been thinking,” Woojin says as they walk back towards the main undergrad campus, “that I overreacted. Truthfully, this bond isn’t that big of a deal.”
That trips him up, and Jihoon actually stops walking for a moment to process what he just heard, before running to catch up to Woojin who is already several paces ahead.
“Not that big of a deal?” Jihoon is surprised to say the least, but Woojin’s emotional state betrays nothing. For once, he is completely calm.
“Yeah,” Woojin shrugs as Jihoon once again falls in step with him. “I checked the online spell database and apparently soul bonds aren’t actually categorized as curse magic, which means there must be a positive side to this. If people willingly bond their souls.”
“Because they think it’s romantic.” Jihoon scoffs. “People are idiots.”
Woojin hums. “I don’t know. Maybe there is a silver lining.”
“You sound like you don't want us to break this bond anymore,” Jihoon accuses.
Woojin rolls his eyes. “Obviously, I do. I just meant that until however long it takes for Youngmin-hyung to get back to us, there’s no reason to be upset about it. It’s not like we get hurt that often and if it’s just sharing emotions I can handle it. Plus they don’t seem to transfer over long distances.”
“Speak for yourself. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster all day and I’m tired.”
Woojin shoves him hard for that, so Jihoon obviously, has to kick him in retaliation.
“I’d make a joke about you being dead inside, but actually it’s working out really nicely for me. So thanks for that.” He knows Jihoon well enough to predict the second kick that’s coming and uses his quick reflexes to dodge it, leaving Jihoon flailing and off-balance.
Woojin reaches out a hand to steady him and chuckles. “I need to go to the dance studio, but I’ll see you later.”
“See you,” Jihoon replies as they split ways. He doesn’t know if it’s Woojin’s words or good mood or both that leaves him feeling lighter and more optimistic than he has at any point today, but in any case, Woojin is right. It’s not that bad.
Together, they’ll survive the few days that it takes them to sort out this mess.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
“Hey guys,” Youngmin greets them cheerfully. They’re on a video call so Jihoon and Woojin have crowded together on Woojin’s bed to better see the screen. Despite there being magical alternatives for communication, in practice, modern technology is usually easier and cheaper to use (spells take hours of study to get right and the price of potion ingredients quickly adds up), and it’s unanimously agreed upon that using a phone is far preferable to a summoning circle. “Sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner. The conference has been pure madness, but I got Minhyun’s message. Soul-bonded, is that right?”
Woojin nods emphatically. “Jihoon was reading aloud in some book and then next thing we knew—BAM!—soul-bonded.”
Jihoon lowkey resents Woojin’s version of events because it sounds like Jihoon is entirely at fault, even if none of what he’s saying is factually incorrect. “It was an accident,” he emphasizes.
“And you're trying to undo it?”
“As soon as possible,” Jihoon confirms.
Youngmin scratches his chin, looking deep in thought.
“Well, I don’t know a lot about soul bonds,” Youngmin confesses, “and I’ve never heard of anyone trying to break one before.”
Beside him, Woojin deflates. No doubt he'd been hoping Youngmin would have the answers to all their problems. In such close proximity, Woojin’s disappointment feels sharp—like a knife to Jihoon’s chest.
“But,” Youngmin continues, entirely oblivious to the emotional turmoil they’re experiencing, “most complex forms of active magic are volatile. Spells typically won’t hold if there is even the slightest sense of disruption.”
“What does that mean, hyung?” Woojin asks. “How are we supposed to disrupt it?”
“In this case, I’m not sure,” Youngmin admits, looking rather abashed. Jihoon fights the urge to scream in frustration. “Disruption can mean many things, but since this is about the soul, I’d assume emotional disruption. If neither of you want the soul bond, the spell won’t be able to settle down and it should dissolve on its own. I think.”
“So we’re supposed to just wait?” Jihoon is skeptical. “Because it’s been 36 hours and it hasn’t gone away yet.”
“Maybe it just takes a bit longer?” Woojin suggests, voice full of hope. He’s bounced back admirably now that there’s a potential solution.
“It might,” Youngmin agrees, nodding. “Just give it some more time.”
Woojin chats with Youngmin for a few more minutes until Youngmin has to return to his conference. Jihoon tunes them out, too preoccupied with their current bind. He doesn’t feel nearly as reassured by their conversation as he wishes he did. On the other hand, Youngmin’s prediction is the only practical advice they have so far.
Maybe the bond really will dissolve on its own after it senses how much both Jihoon and Woojin’s souls dislike being bonded to each other. In the meantime, Jihoon will have to live with it, and he vows to keep researching and doing his utmost best to disrupt it. Whatever the hell that means.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
“Why,” Jihoon says, emphatically as drops into his customary seat beside Woojin in class, “must you feel so loudly?”
It’s the fourth day since they were first soul-bonded, and though Jihoon isn’t sure they’re any closer to disrupting the bond, he’s learned a few more things about the bond since then. Most pressingly, that they seem to mirror one another’s energy levels, and for Jihoon that means that he’s been waking every morning before his alarm goes off because Woojin is apparently a morning person. Most people might feel enthusiastic about the extra energy boost, but Jihoon’s been waking up with headaches for the past two days, and he’s fairly sure that the extra hour of sleep he’s losing every morning is the cause.
And then, of course, he enters the lecture hall only to be hit with an onslaught of feelings that aren’t his own. It’s overwhelming.
“What?” Woojin looks up from his notebook in which it appears he was doodling dinosaurs of all things. “I’m not doing anything?”
“You’re way too happy for a 9:00 am lecture,” Jihoon grouches.
“Sorry,” Woojin apologizes, though it doesn’t sound especially sincere. He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a blueberry muffin which he passes to Jihoon. “Peace offering?”
Jihoon accepts it with greedy hands. “I love you.”
There’s a sudden flare of something—some indescribable tumultuous emotion, that Jihoon doesn’t have time to parse before it disappears.
“You’re talking to the muffin aren’t you?”
Jihoon looks up from the muffin, which he’s already half-consumed. “Obviously.”
“Loser,” Woojin snickers and reaches into his backpack again, retrieving two small vials from its depths. He sets one down in front of Jihoon. “For the headache.”
“Oh,” Jihoon says in surprise, since he hadn't mentioned it. “Thanks.”
Woojin just shrugs. “I can’t concentrate either if you’ve got a headache.” He taps his own head as a reminder, before uncorking his own vial and downing the potion. “Yesterday was kind of awful so I went and bought some just in case.”
Jihoon follows suit, and sure enough, his headache starts to clear after a few minutes.
“Do you get headaches a lot or is this a bond-related thing?” Woojin asks. They’ve started doing this lately, checking in on the different things they feel to try and figure out what’s normal and what is an effect of the soul bond.
“I think it’s just a lack of sleep thing,” Jihoon sighs. Woojin nods and makes a note of it in the corner of his dinosaur-covered paper. Jihoon’s not really sure that he’ll be able to find that note later, but they’d agreed to try and keep records just in case they turned out to be useful for breaking the bond.
Other than the energy levels—which is something Jihoon still doesn’t understand; if Jihoon is still asleep in the mornings, how come Woojin isn’t sleeping in just as often as Jihoon is waking up early?—they’ve also discovered that their bond comes with a sort of built-in tracking system. No matter how far apart they are, Jihoon always has a sense of where Woojin is. He knows he could walk blindly in a direction, letting only his instincts guide him, and he would find Woojin. It’s the only useful feature of the soul bond so far in Jihoon’s opinion.
Jihoon’s also become better at discerning which feelings are originally his and which are Woojin’s, though it’s still often difficult to tell them apart. Jihoon’s typical emotional state vacillates between contentedness and irritation, and any strong outlier emotion that can’t be obviously traced to direct circumstances is usually a dead giveaway as being Woojin’s.
Jihoon can’t ever remember a time when he was this aware of his emotions. It’s probably a good thing, he rationalizes, but at the same time, examining his deeper feelings is tiring.
One thing is for sure though, even in the few short days of being emotionally linked, Jihoon’s gained a new appreciation for Woojin for being able to endure all the pressure and anxiety he feels and still be friendly and happy in spite of all of it.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Sungwoon’s call comes at very timely moment.
“Jihoonie,” Sungwoon says, sounding distracted, “can you do me a favor?”
“Depends,” Jihoon replies, even though he isn’t busy despite it being a Friday night. He’s just hanging out in Woojin’s room, watching ‘Law of the Jungle’ and marveling over how any of them survive without basic magic skills at their fingertips. Jihoon learned long ago to never make deals with his brother without knowing the terms first. “What’s in it for me?”
“Just my eternal gratitude,” Sungwoon replies and Jihoon almost scoffs aloud, before his brother continues. “Daniel’s Mom is undergoing an emergency operation tomorrow and I’m going with him to Busan to check up on her, but someone needs to look after Peter and Rooney tonight and tomorrow. Could you do it? You can stay in my apartment.”
“Yeah, okay,” Jihoon agrees easily enough. He likes cats and he likes Daniel alright, so he’s happy to help out in an emergency, which it sounds like this is. Plus, Sungwoon’s apartment is nice and Jihoon thinks it isn’t a bad idea to spend a couple of days away.
As close as he and Woojin are, Jihoon isn’t used to having someone else’s feelings invading his own at all times. If he thought they’d find some sort of equilibrium after a few days, he was sorely mistaken, because he’s liable to snap at Woojin if he gets manically excited about something idiotic even one more time. It’s embarrassing because Jihoon starts to feel it too. And those are just the happy moments. When either of them are in a sour mood it’s ten times worse.
Jihoon also hopes the space might be exactly what their bond needs to finally “disrupt” or whatever.
“Thank you,” Sungwoon says in a rush, “you’re the best. They’re at my place and their stuff is all there. We’re leaving for Busan in a few minutes, but just let yourself in.”
Jihoon nods before he realizes Sungwoon can’t see him. “No problem. I hope she’ll be okay.”
They end the call and Woojin turns to him with questioning eyes.
“I’m staying at Sungwoon place for the weekend,” Jihoon says as he stands up and begins packing his belongings. “He needs someone to watch over Daniel’s cats.”
“Okay, do you need me to walk you there?” Woojin asks, standing up with a yawn and stretching. It’s late and even though his brother’s place isn’t far, by the time Jihoon gets there it will close to midnight.
“Nah, I’ll take the bus,” Jihoon replies. “You’re coming over Sunday for our gaming marathon though, right?”
Woojin nods and flops face first on his bed. Jihoon waves and makes his way out. The last thing he feels from Woojin is the peaceful wave of contentment before he either falls asleep or Jihoon walks far enough away to be out of range.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Saturday starts off well. Jihoon arrived the night before, made sure both Peter and Rooney were cozily tucked in their beds, before making his way to bed as well.
Jihoon wakes up with a feeling of calm that persists throughout the morning. He has a headache again, but he raided Woojin’s headache tonic supply and it’s gone soon after he downs the vial.
He brought his homework with him—his still has that pesky term paper due for Theoretical Magic—but he spends the morning lazing around on the couch with Rooney settled on his stomach while he watches TV.
His inner introvert revels in the quiet, and though Woojin has always been the one exception to his introverted tendencies, today it feels good to be alone. Just him and his own thoughts and feelings. And cats, of course. Peter and Rooney are both quite intelligent and good-natured, to the point where he and Woojin have had an ongoing debate for years over whether or not they are Daniel’s familiars. Woojin doesn’t buy it, dismissing even one familiar as too rare of an occurrence, let alone two—“and why would you leave your familiar behind? ” Woojin’s voice echoes in his mind—but if there’s anything that Jihoon has learned from this soul bond ordeal, is that uncommon magic is just that: uncommon. Not impossible.
Regardless of their true nature, Peter and Rooney are probably the easiest cats ever to cat-sit, and Jihoon gets to relax in a nice apartment and do absolutely nothing.
It’s not until after lunch that he starts to feel ill. He just feels vaguely faint at first, and Jihoon mistakes it for hunger. After emptying out most of Sungwoon’s pantry and filling up on ramen noodles, however, he still doesn’t feel any better. In fact, he feels a lot worse. Weak and alternately freezing cold and burning hot.
Sungwoon’s medicine cabinet is well-stocked, and Jihoon really isn’t a medicine junkie, but he downs one of the carefully labeled tonics that’s supposed to be some anti-viral, anti-fever catch-all before collapsing onto the bed for a nap.
When he wakes up this time, it’s in cold sweat and with aching muscles. With clammy hands he reaches for his phone and types out a message to Woojin.
To: Park Woojin [ 4:52 ]:
i think i’m dying
if i perish let it be remembered that i was the better friend
and sacrificed myself to free you of our bond
It’s a bit dramatic, but Woojin will understand the real message, which is: come over. Woojin doesn’t text back immediately, and the only times that happens are when he’s exercising or sleeping.
Jihoon considers drifting back to sleep himself, when a wave of nausea hits him. With great effort, he hoists himself up from the bed and drags himself to the restroom, willing himself not to faint on the way. He dry heaves a few times, but nothing happens, though he doesn’t feel like he has the strength to move. In fact, his hands and feet are starting to feel rather numb.
The thought crosses his mind that he should maybe call someone else—his brother who is good in a crisis or Minhyun who has actual medical expertise or maybe just Emergency Services—because this is starting to look pretty dire, but he realizes he left his phone in the bedroom, and that feels so far away.
He’s not sure how long he’s sitting there on the bathroom floor, drifting in and out of consciousness, cold and sore and so very weak. Peter and Rooney make their way to him at some point with, what Jihoon imagines are almost expressions of concern on their faces, and Jihoon’s last conscious thought is that Daniel is going to be so pissed if he dies in front of his cats.
He comes too, some unspecified amount of time later, when there is a loud pounding on the front door.
Jihoon can sense that it’s Woojin. Even as weak as he feels, the soul bond still does that.
“Jihoon, open up!” Woojin yells as he continues to hammer against the door. It takes Jihoon a few minutes to get there—first to peel himself off the tile floor and then to wobble over on weak legs, almost toppling over and skidding into the coat rack in the process (he’ll have a bruise and Woojin will too), as he makes his way to the door and rips it open.
Woojin practically collapses into the apartment when Jihoon opens the door. He’s paler than Jihoon has ever seen him, lips almost white and shivering despite the thick winter coat he wears.
Jihoon tries to catch him as he pitches forward and Woojin wraps a clumsy hand around Jihoon’s wrist.
It’s an almost indescribable sensation, but the touch of skin-to-skin contact seems to settle something within him, like the bond had been screaming out for Woojin without Jihoon realizing it and now it’s finally gotten what it wants.
Jihoon shuts the door behind Woojin, who then reaches out to link both their hands. It’s anchoring. Like Jihoon is being pulled up from deep waters, rescued from drowning. His heart rate slows to a normal pace and feeling returns to his hands and feet. The earlier faintess he felt starts to ebb.
“I don’t think we’re supposed to be apart for very long,” Woojin whispers. Jihoon watches as the color bleed back into his cheeks.
They maneuver towards the couch, an unspoken agreement to cuddle up there together, because whatever is going on, it’s clear that contact and proximity help. It’s almost like the soul bond is humming with contentment now, as though it knows that Jihoon is safe and secure if he’s curled up beside Woojin.
Peter and Rooney have followed Jihoon from the restroom and both decide at that time to hop up on the couch. Jihoon turns slightly so they can pillow themselves on his lap.
“Thank you for coming, Woojin,” Jihoon says into the quiet of the room. He swallows, voice thick. “I’m sorry about the bond and that I caused all of this to happen.”
“Don’t be,” Woojin replies, kindly, far more than Jihoon might have been if their positions were reversed. “I’m just glad I got to you in time.”
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
When they finally feel recovered enough to move again it’s already dinner time. They settle on ordering a pizza because they’re too lazy and tired to try and prepare dinner themselves.
Jihoon is feeling a lot more like himself, though still a bit shaken, and the atmosphere around the apartment is fairly subdued.
Woojin is the one to bring it up first, playing with his sleeve as he speaks. Jihoon feels a wave of anxiousness wash over him. “This bond isn’t going to let us go easily, huh?”
“If this is the only way to split it, I don’t know if I can,” Jihoon admits. There’s guilt eating at his insides and he knows Woojin can probably feel it, hopes that it’s apology enough. “I felt like I was dying,” Jihoon adds.
“You baby,” Woojin teases, trying to lighten the mood, “you’ve always had low pain tolerance. I dragged myself all the way here from campus.”
Jihoon glares at him. At least he doesn’t feel as guilty now. If he’s going to be like this, Woojin deserves to be stuck with Jihoon.
“I’ll remind you that you were the one who got all soft and wanted to hold hands,” Jihoon retorts. He tries to channel as much annoyance into his mind so that Woojin can feel it. Feel Jihoon’s ire, and burn. Woojin appears entirely unbothered.
“And good thing I did. It’s the only reason we feel better anyway. You really shouldn’t be talking like this to someone who saved your life.”
Jihoon can’t refute that. “If you’d let me die it would’ve solved all our problems. Admit it, you like being soul-bonded to me.”
Jihoon expects Woojin to smack him or respond in comic anger, which is why he says it. For the reaction.
Instead Woojin shrugs. “Not the worst person to be soul-bonded to. It could’ve been Jinyoung. Or worse,” he shudders, “Daehwi. At least, you’re not melodramatic 24/7.”
“I’m so touched,” Jihoon deadpans.
“You should be. I’d pick you over anyone else.”
“Even Guanlin?” Jihoon asks. Any reasonable person would’ve chosen Jihoon over Daehwi to be emotionally linked to, but Guanlin? Guanlin is a good kid and probably full of nice happy feelings. He and Woojin could live a harmonically soul-bonded life together, unlike what the two of them have now.
“Obviously,” Woojin scoffs, “we mirror each other’s energies in case you forgot. He’s too low-key, I’d never accomplish anything.”
Jihoon smiles, quietly pleased with the answer despite the fact that it was never a real competition anyway. Jihoon takes another bite of pizza, chewing contemplatively for a minute before he speaks again. “Woojin, what if we’re really stuck this way? For the rest of our lives?”
“I don’t know,” Woojin admits, “there has to be another way, but maybe we need to start thinking about living with this long-term.”
“There has to be another way,” Jihoon agrees, not quite ready to deal with the second half of Woojin's statement. “But for now, I think we should stick together. Until the bond is happy again.”
“Okay,” Woojin grants, and that’s the last either of them say on the topic for the rest of the day. The spend the evening playing games and cuddling with Peter and Rooney. Woojin spends the night, since neither of them particularly feel like parting ways.
Sunday passes in much the same manner, and by the time they’re heading back to campus on Sunday evening, Jihoon’s feeling a lot better about the bond than he has since the beginning. Like he and Woojin are finally on the same page, connected and in tune, even if it means they’re probably farther from breaking it than ever before.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
“What are you doing?” Woojin asks suspiciously, and Jihoon was so hoping he wouldn’t, that he could just pass out on his bed without issue.
“I’m tired,” he complains, from where he is lying on Woojin’s bed, ostensibly studying though now his eyes are drifting shut. “I want to sleep.”
“Okay, but why do you have to do that on my bed?”
Jihoon shoots him a beseeching look. “My dorm is across campus and it’s late. I’ll wake up Jinyoung.”
He wonders if Woojin can feel the tension Jihoon has been carrying, both physically and emotionally, since Saturday. He doesn’t want to go back and sleep in his own room. It’s only been a day since everything happened, and although Sungwoon has since returned, informing him that everything went smoothly with Daniel’s mom and that Jihoon could return to campus, it’s still fresh in his mind.
He still remembers with visceral clarity the feelings from earlier, the cold that consumed his body and the panic he felt. Even the idea of going home now terrifies him, of waking up at night with that same cold sweat, feeling faint, almost paralyzed.
Even if Jinyoung was there, he wouldn’t be able to help. Plus, then Jihoon would have to explain to his roommate what was happening, when he'd really prefer to keep it a secret. Woojin lucked out in the housing lottery and landed himself a single somehow, so there are no questions to avoid or prying eyes. It only makes sense that Jihoon crashes here for the night.
Woojin senses all this—whether it’s because he can feel Jihoon’s emotions and infer his reasoning, or because he really just knows Jihoon that well, Jihoon doesn’t know—and he sighs. It’s the indulgent sigh that means Jihoon is going to get his way.
“At least brush your teeth first. I don’t want your stinky chicken breath in my face. Come on, I have a spare toothbrush somewhere.”
Jihoon grins into the pillow before he pulls himself up from the bed. Success.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Daniel finds Jihoon the following day during one of the increasingly rare moments he’s alone. Jihoon is working on his term paper again too, which is maybe the most surprising part of all of this. Jihoon had abandonded it after the bond happened, all thoughts of impressing Professor Kwon forgotten, but with the looming deadline and after the events of the weekend he decided to return to it. After all, he might as well put his real life experiences towards improving his grade. At least he will know that the content is accurate.
He’s sitting in one of the communal study spaces in the library, with his books spread out, the giant tome that was responsible for the whole mess laid out front and center, and is typing away on his laptop, when Daniel approaches him.
“Hey Jihoon,” Daniel greets him easily.
“Hi hyung,” Jihoon replies looking up. Daniel is technically a senior so it’s not that weird to see him around campus, but Jihoon still mostly associates him in the context of his brother. “Is your mom okay?”
“Yeah, she is,” Daniel says, relief painted clear across his face. “Everything went smoothly and she’ll make a full recovery.”
“That’s good to hear,”Jihoon replies, matching Daniel’s smile with his own. He already knew of course since Sungwoon told him Sunday when he returned home after dropping off Daniel at his dorm, but it’s good to hear the verbal confirmation from Daniel himself.
Daniel pulls out the chair across from Jihoon, apparently not just dropping by. “I just wanted to say thanks for taking care of Rooney and Peter,” he beams at him. “I hope everything went smoothly and they didn’t give you too much of a hard time.”
“No, they were fine. Great even,” Jihoon says. He doesn’t mention the events that went down with Woojin and the bond. He hasn’t told anyone and he doesn’t think Woojin has either. Perhaps it would be wiser to confide in someone, but somehow it feels wrong, too personal almost.
“Good, I’m glad,” Daniel says with another bright grin. He reaches for Jihoon’s book and turns it around so he can read it. “Soul bonds?” he asks before recalling, “oh that’s right! Sungwoon told me you and Woojin were bonded. Congratulations!”
Daniel is so full of genuine enthusiasm and good-intention that Jihoon can’t even bring it upon himself to be properly angry at him.
“Hyung, it’s not like that,” Jihoon mutters, embarrassed. “This is for a class and we're actually trying to break it.”
Daniel looks at him, genuinely perplexed. “Why would you want to break a bond with your soulmate? It sounds so romantic. To be that close to someone.”
“It’s not romantic, it’s—” he pauses as he thinks how to describe it, “invasive,” he settles on. Perhaps to someone like Daniel it would be romantic though—he can’t deny the inherent intimacy, in sharing emotions and pain, in sleeping side by side, but none of what Jihoon and Woojin do has any romantic connotation. It’s just for practical reasons. “I don’t know. I think the magic got confused and misidentified him as my soulmate. But he’s not. We’re just friends.”
“Hmm,” Daniel responds as he thinks it over, before shrugging. “Well you’re the expert,” he says easily, gesturing at the texts spread out in front of Jihoon, “but even if it’s not romantic, he could still be your soulmate. I don’t know if Sungwoon is my soulmate, but we were friends for a long time before we got together,” he laughs to himself, “before Sungwoon was willing to see me as anything other than a younger friend. But even then, dating wasn’t that different from before. It's just like an extension of our friendship? But with more kissing.”
“Well that’s nice for the two of you,” Jihoon says, trying to phrase it delicately and not sound completely snippy in his response. He fails to see how this has anything to do with him and Woojin unless Daniel is trying to imply that one of them is secretly in love with the other. “I’m happy you found each other, hyung. Really happy, even if you deserve better than my brother. But for Woojin and I, it’s just… different,” Jihoon trails off lamely.
Daniel laughs and gives Jihoon’s hair a ruffle, much to Jihoon's annoyance. “I’m not saying you have to date him. I’m just saying that maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to discount the magic.”
Daniel stands up with a smile, just in time too, because Jihoon is seriously irked at Daniel messing with his hair. His patience for dealing with overgrown children other than Woojin is extremely limited.
Jihoon sighs as Daniel departs. It’s easy for Daniel to wax lyrical about romance and soulmates because he’s been doing that for the past six years ever since he met Sungwoon anyway, but Daniel isn’t the one who has to actually live it; Jihoon does. And this soul bond has brought him nothing but trouble and inconvenience.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
“I forgot,” Woojin says while they're waiting in line to order at a café near campus, “that today is Thursday. I'm having dinner at Youngmin’s place tonight.”
They’ve elected to go to a café this morning, after they both woke up and felt like something different than the usual cafeteria fare. It’s quite busy during the morning rush, and they've been waiting for quite a while.
They haven’t talked about it, but somehow over the week and half, sharing a bed at night has become routine. Jihoon doesn’t know how long this will persist for, but for now, he doesn’t want it to change. It feels safe this way and the soulbond is happy—which probably means that it’s nowhere close to disruption, but at least it makes his day to day life far more bearable. He's also no longer waking up with headaches every morning. In general, Jihoon’s discovered the less he’s trying to actively resist the bond, the easier his life becomes. Or maybe he’s just becoming desensitized. But somehow, waking up to Woojin’s whirlwind emotions and hyper energy isn’t as awful as the days go on. It's almost nice.
“You should come to dinner too."
That surprises Jihoon. Despite the years of history and shared friendship, Woojin has never encouraged Jihoon to come to one of their dinner gatherings.
Every student who enters Seoul Institute of Magical Arts is assigned a mentor during their first year to help guide them through their transition into university. It’s designed to be useful because everyone’s background and experience with magic is different and it’s helpful to have a person to go to for guidance. Usually they’re third or fourth years though, and quite often they have too much on their plate to take any real investment in their underlings. Jihoon hadn’t met with his mentor after their first introductory meeting and one follow up before his first exam in freshman year. He’s not even sure if his mentor is still around campus or has graduated already.
Woojin and Daehwi, somehow, had both lucked out with extremely kind, invested mentors who also turned out to be best friends, and incredibly, they became a happy little family that has stuck together even now that Youngmin is in grad school and Donghyun has gone off to work like a real adult. Woojin’s actually the reason Jihoon became friends with Daehwi in the first place, because he’s not really the sort of person to go out of his way to make friends.
Which brings him back to the present situation.
“I don’t want to impose,” Jihoon says. It’s true that they don’t share any classes together today and if Woojin is going to Youngmin’s after his lesson at the dance studio, they’ll probably be apart for hours. It will have been the longest stretch time spent apart since that one Saturday, but Jihoon thinks they would be okay. They’ve been spending a lot more time together—who knew that was even possible?—so that must have built up some goodwill. “The bond will probably be okay to make it through dinner.”
Woojin just shrugs. “You wouldn’t be imposing. And why risk it? Just come. It’s really casual; we’re meeting at Youngmin’s place and he’s cooking dinner.”
Jihoon can feel the sincerity in his words and Woojin's genuine earnestness and he can feel himself start to cave, even if it goes against his nature to accept dinner party invitations. Youngmin and Donghyun are nice enough, and Jihoon’s liked them from the moments he’s spoken to him, but he’s never felt comfortable with small talk. He takes forever to warm up to people.
Woojin of course, can sense Jihoon’s trepidation as much as Jihoon senses his enthusiasm because he shoots Jihoon a small smile.
“Daehwi and I will do all the talking. You can just sit there and enjoy the meal. Youngmin is a great chef and he’s making chicken.”
“Okay,” Jihoon gives in. “For the chicken.”
“For the chicken,” Woojin agrees. Jihoon feels the lightness in Woojin’s chest, and tries to let it wash over him, to allow himself to be swept up in his excitement as well.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Youngmin’s place is comfortable and very neat. These are the first things Jihoon notices when he enters the apartment.
He’s the last to arrive, and Donghyun is the one who opens the door, a bright, welcoming smile on his face.
“Hi Jihoon,” Donghyun greets him, full of warmth. “They’re just in the kitchen. Come on.”
Jihoon trails him to the kitchen, stopping just short in the entranceway as he takes in scene in front of him, which is filled with the clear sounds of laughter and strong, tantalizing aromas. Jihoon has the sudden moment of feeling horribly out of place.
Woojin spots him then—or maybe just senses him—and hops down from the counter where he had been lounging while chatting away at a rapidfire pace. Daehwi is at least attempting be helpful as Youngmin cooks, but Woojin gives all of it a wide berth.
“You made it,” Woojin cheers, slinging an arm over Jihoon’s shoulders. It’s a friendly gesture, one that he’s experienced hundreds of times before, but now one that he associates with a fluttering feeling, a pleasant heat that makes him warm from head to toe. The soul bond.
“I said I would,” Jihoon replies. He knows he radiates trepidation right now and Woojin can undoubtedly feel it.
Daehwi and Youngmin both turn to greet him when he steps into view. The whole atmosphere is one of coziness and closeness, but one that Jihoon doesn’t know if he welcome to join in on.
“Just finishing up. Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes,” Youngmin says with a smile.
“We can set the table,” Woojin volunteers for them, already opening the drawer that holds the tableware, familiar with this home. “For five or for six?”
“Just five,” Youngmin replies, “Minhyun’s on rotation tonight.” And that’s right, Jihoon had forgotten they were flatmates.
They set the table for five, and Donghyun pours them wine, before they all settle into eat. Jihoon’s barely enjoyed the first few bites, before Youngmin is already asking him about the topic he least wishes to discuss.
“So how’s the soul bond? Have you figured out how to disrupt it yet?”
Youngmin’s expression is open and friendly and Donghyun is calm at his side, so Jihoon infers that Woojin must’ve told him as well. Daehwi on the other hand—
“Hold up,” Daehwi cuts in before Jihoon can answer, “what do you mean, ‘soul bond?’”
Woojin laughs nervously, and makes an aborted gesture with his hand that conveys absolutely nothing. They’d made the choice not to tell their friends, especially Daehwi, lest it spread to the rest of campus. The cat’s out of the bag now though.
“It was an accident. A spell backfired and now we’re bonded. We’re trying to undo it,” Jihoon says, speeding through the words as quickly and emotionlessly as he can. He feels like he's told this story a thousand times already. He turns to Youngmin. “And no, hyung, there’s no progress yet.”
Jihoon has been researching in between writing his paper, but it’s turned up nothing so far. Minhyun has forwarded him a few emails with medical studies (all quite dense and rather unhelpful because Jihoon doesn’t comprehend any of it) and Sungwoon continues to text him links to random articles he finds about vaguely related subjects, but so far, the only conclusive, proven way Jihoon has found to end a soul bond is through death. And that’s not exactly the ideal solution.
“I knew something was going on,” Daehwi crows, delighted. “Jinyoung told me you hadn’t slept in your room at all this week. We figured you finally got yourself a lover, but I didn’t know it was Woojin.”
“We’re. Not. Lovers,” Jihoon and Woojin grit out in unison.
Truth to be told, Jihoon feels vaguely betrayed. Here he thought Jinyoung was the sort of bro he could trust to guard his secrets till the grave, but then again, he’s always been especially weak to Daehwi.
“You’re sleeping together though,” Daehwi points out.
Jihoon runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “It’s just for the bond. Why would we be dating?”
“Why wouldn’t you? If you’re soulmates.”
Woojin swoops in to back him up. “We’re not going to date just because a bond tells us to or because we’re soulmates or whatever.”
Jihoon finds himself nodding along, even as a knot settles in the pit of his stomach.
This whole conversation is making him uncomfortable, and after Daniel the other day, he finds himself pondering the meaning of being soulmates more and more. He’d been so focused on the fact that the bond was an accident, that he hadn’t previously considered whether any of it might be based in truth.
Regardless it doesn’t matter, because Jihoon has zero plan to ever date Woojin. Sure, he enjoys spending time with Woojin more than anyone, but that’s because they’re best friends, and Jihoon is kind of picky about which people he hangs out with. Them dating wouldn’t even make sense… would it?
Donghyun must be used to Woojin and Daehwi’s bickering by now, because he cuts through their spat seamlessly, with the sort of natural mediating force that can only come from lots of practice. “Let them be, Daehwi. Woojin and Jihoon can decide for themselves what they want. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Is everyone going to the Winter Solstice Festival on Saturday?” Youngmin offers.
“Oh!” Daehwi says, suddenly, previous bickering session already forgotten. “I got approval for the booth. We’re a go!”
“Your kissing booth?” Jihoon asks, stunned.
“Yup!”
“How?” Woojin asks, dubious. “Who did you cast a charm on for approval, Daehwi?”
“No one! Not everyone hates the idea of love as much as you two,” Daehwi retorts. “You should all come see it for yourselves.”
“Are you manning the booth? Because that’s a hard pass from me,” Woojin says.
Daehwi rolls his eyes. “I’m not the only one. It’s not like I would ever kiss you anyway. ”
“I’ll have to skip this one,” Youngmin laughs, “but you should all go.”
Jihoon grimaces. “No thanks. I don’t want to kiss anyone.”
The moment he says it he feels the oddest tug of longing at his subconscious. It’s so acute that he can’t help but notice it, and he turns to look at Woojin in confusion. He’s looking at Youngmin as he speaks though, and there’s a smile on Woojin’s face. This wistful feeling of longing lingers though, undeniable, and Jihoon has the sudden, startling realization that Woojin has feelings for Youngmin. It’s like all the pieces are slotting into place to form a clear picture, and Jihoon doesn’t know that he likes what he sees.
“Yeah, hyung,” Woojin is saying, “I don’t want to kiss a stranger.”
“Who do you want to kiss then?” Youngmin teases, and Jihoon watches with morbid fascination as Woojin’s cheeks shade red even as he firmly denies anything. It’s the most caught off guard Jihoon has felt in a long time. Woojin’s crushes are few and far between, but Jihoon always is the first to know when Woojin likes someone. He feels off-kilter.
Donghyun and Youngmin and even Daehwi are laughing at his firm denials, and Jihoon doesn’t think he’s ever felt more like an accessory, a needless addition to the conversation, evident as he takes in their closeness. He wonders how much Woojin has been keeping from him until now.
“Well I’ll go to support you, Daehwi,” Donghyun promises as Jihoon tunes back into the conversation.
“Thank you Donghyun-hyung,” Daehwi says sweetly, before rounding on the rest of them. “I expect you all to be there, kiss or no kiss.”
Jihoon notices Woojin shooting him nervous glances, but he ignores them.
“Are you okay?” Woojin finally asks, once the main course is finished and they stand up to clear the dishes. Jihoon knows there’s no point in lying, because Woojin can literally feel that he’s not, but he doesn’t want to explain it.
Instead, he just shrugs. “Sorry. You know I get weird around groups,” Jihoon replies, unwilling to reveal the true reason.
“We can leave?”
Jihoon peers into the kitchen where Youngmin seems to be flambéing some sort of dessert. “It’s fine. Youngmin’s working on a masterpiece. We shouldn’t miss it.”
So maybe Woojin has been keeping secrets, but it’s his life, after all. And if he is, he probably has a good reason for it.
Jihoon tries to remind himself of this fact, as he wills the hurt, unsettled feeling in his chest to disappear. He’s not very successful at it.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Something changes for Jihoon after that dinner at Youngmin’s apartment.
It’s a small, nearly imperceptible shift, but like a pebble thrown into a pond, it creates a ripple effect that spreads out to affect various aspects of Jihoon’s life.
He stops thinking of the bond as a mistake.
(He starts thinking about it as unintentional, but truthful.)
(He starts thinking about what it means if he and Woojin are really soulmates.)
(He starts thinking about what a life spent this way might look like and finds he doesn’t hate it.)
(He starts thinking about soothing Woojin’s nerves and fears with lingering touches rather than stilted words.)
(He starts thinking about what he wants, if he’s completely honest with himself, and how the only answer he can think of is: Woojin.)
This thought pattern terrifies him though, and so Jihoon does his very best not to focus too much on what it means. He keeps everything locked tight in a box, unwilling to think about any of it when he's close to Woojin, afraid that he'll sense Jihoon's feelings, so complex and foreign to Jihoon himself that even he hasn't been able to sort them out.
It's only in those rare moments when he's separate from Woojin, far away enough that Woojin won't overhear his emotions, that Jihoon allows himself to unlock that box and let those confusing feelings of longing and desire edge out, just for a moment.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
The Winter Solstice Festival turns out to be both everything Jihoon expected and so much more. He already knew it was a pretty big deal in the magical community, but the masses of people that it draws and the fact that it’s consistently ranked as the number one date activity in the annual ‘Witches & Wizards Guide to Seoul’, has always put him off the event.
In fact, it wasn’t for the fact that Jihoon can now literally feel how much excitement Woojin has about the festival whenever he talks about it, he wouldn’t even be here. It’s somehow so much harder to crush his dreams when Jihoon knows he’s going to feel the disappointment that follows, especially if he knows he caused it. Damn, this bond is really making him soft.
Now that he’s here though, Jihoon can’t deny that the undeniably enchanting quality to the festival. It’s very rare for Jihoon to experience a moment where he still finds himself truly in awe at magic, but everything about the Winter Solstice Festival is awe-inducing.
Hundreds of stalls run along the sides of the Han River and through spells far more complex than Jihoon himself knows, they’re entirely invisible to non-magic users. As such, the vendors go all out, using this opportunity to show off their abilities without consequence. Every stall is brimming with magic, inventive charms, and wondrous artifacts. The river itself is lit up by intricate ships that seem to be made from paper and that glow from within, casting a splendorous light show upon the water.
Jihoon and Woojin spend their time getting lost among the many stalls. They range from self-folding origami vendors that entrance the young children (and both of them too if they’re being honest) to the magical moving ink tattoo stalls which Woojin seems far too interested in and Jihoon has to physically drag him away from. Shortly thereafter Jihoon wanders through one of the fashion stalls selling a wide range of bright, appealing clothes and accessories (sure, he doesn’t need a third beret, but he also doesn’t own a yellow one yet and this one is charmed to be dirt resistant), and this time, it’s Woojin’s turn to pull him away and stop him from making any hastily considered decisions.
As they’re walking and admiring the view though, Jihoon can’t help but notice that his suspicions were correct and nearly everyone around them is either part of a young family or a couple.
When they stop at one of the magical fragrance stalls—Woojin is looking for a gift for his mom—Jihoon finds himself musing aloud on this topic.
“Did you ever think about coming here with a date?”
Woojin turns sharply away from the fancy herbal tinctures he was inspecting to look at him in surprise. “Why?”
Jihoon shrugs. “You said you always dreamed of coming here, but I would’ve thought you’d want to go with someone you liked. Like on a date.” Jihoon gestures at the crowd around them, at the various couples passing by. The ‘not with me’ is unspoken, but implied.
“I guess, maybe,” Woojin concedes, “but you said it yourself. None of my dating attempts go anywhere, and I’d rather be able to look back on this memory as a positive experience than have it be tainted by a future messy break up.”
“That makes sense.”
“What about you?”
Jihoon doesn’t know why he’s so caught off guard by the question since he was the one to ask it first. “I never dreamed about this,” Jihoon admits. “It’s kind of hard to dream about ideal dates when I haven’t ever found anyone that really captures my attention.”
“Jihoon the heartbreaker strikes again,” Woojin says with a smirk. “You know if you ever did want to date, there’s a whole line of people who’d jump at the chance.”
Jihoon pulls a face. He’d gone on a few dates in high school, kissed a few girls and boys, but none of it interested him. It takes him ages to warm up to new people and he’s not really interested in hooking up with strangers (at least not while sober) or branching out beyond the social circle he has. Sure, every now and again, when he looks at his brother and Daniel, he does imagine what it would be like to live in such domestic bliss with another person. Then again, Jihoon couldn’t imagine spending so much time with another person or making them the number one priority in his life. Especially over Woojin. (He very carefully doesn’t think about how lately Woojin’s face is the one that has started to color in his once blank template for what that fantasy person might look like.)
“I’d rather just hang out with you,” Jihoon confesses.
The pleased, almost shy feeling that suddenly hits Jihoon causes him to laugh, and when he looks at Woojin he notices that he’s blushing.
“No way, did I just make you shy?” Jihoon teases, gleefully. He almost never gets to one up Woojin in these situations. The guy is pretty shameless.
“Shut up. You’re never this nice to me. I wasn’t prepared.”
Jihoon grins, genuine enjoyment continuing to bubble up within him. “Come on, I’m hungry.”
“You always are,” Woojin scoffs, trying to recompose himself, and follows behind Jihoon as he heads towards the area with the food stalls.
They pass the next half hour sampling various foods. Jihoon is a bit too eager when they get the tteokbokki and burns the roof of his mouth, causing Woojin to whimper in response to the sudden pain. It’s always ten times weirder to experience pain when it’s unexpected and unexplained. Jihoon makes it up to him by buying him ice cream, long overdue.
After they polish off their ice creams, they head towards the side with the carnival games and activity-based stalls. It gets far busier when they get close to the games, and Woojin grabs his hand to help pull them both through the crowd. Even after they push through the densest part, Woojin doesn’t let his hand go. Jihoon finds that he doesn’t want to let go either.
Because it’s so busy, it comes as rather a shock when they encounter Sungwoon and Daniel as they exit a booth, with flushed cheeks and cherry red lips. Jihoon sees Sungwoon’s face morph from secret pleasure to outright surprise when he spots Jihoon. Jihoon also sees how Sungwoon’s gaze drops to his and Woojin’s interlaced hands. Jihoon considers for a moment whether he wants to let go so that he doesn’t feed any of his brother’s misperceptions, or if wants to grasp Woojin’s hand even tighter to prove that he’s not ashamed to be holding Woojin’s hand and that it doesn’t mean anything. Before he can decide though, Woojin lets go and waves at Sungwoon and Daniel.
“Did you just come from Daehwi’s kissing booth?” Woojin laughs, bright and buoyant like he’s been all evening.
Jihoon looks up. He hadn’t even noticed, but sure enough there above the booth is the banner he’d seen Daehwi lug around with him earlier. Now that it’s unfurled, Jihoon can read the lettering plain as day: ‘Kissing booth for couples! Find out if you’re soulmates~’. It’s certainly a far more compelling idea than the kissing strangers plan, even if seeing the word ‘soulmates’ spelled out makes Jihoon’s stomach swoop uncomfortably. Jihoon’s impressed that Daehwi pulled it off, regardless, considering he didn’t have much time.
“We did.” Daniel beams. “We passed the kissing test. We’re soulmates.” Light dances in his eyes, and as always, Jihoon finds himself likening Daniel’s enthusiasm to that of a puppy. Sungwoon expression is a mix of humoring and overwhelming fondness, and Jihoon inwardly gags. He hopes there’s never a day where he looks at someone with such a sappy expression.
“Are you two going in?” Daniel asks. “Or I guess you can skip it since you already know.”
“No, we’re not going into a kissing booth, hyung,” Woojin grins, flashing his snaggletooth in the process. “We’ll leave that to the lovebirds like the two of you.”
Sungwoon is uncharacteristically silent throughout the conversation, as Daniel and Woojin continue to ramble on excitedly about the various stalls they have visited and exchange tips about which ones are must-sees. Instead, he seems to be watching Jihoon and Jihoon absolutely hates it; it feels like he’s being read like an open book, even though he’s not even hiding anything. He wishes his brother and his boyfriend would just go, instead of making him feel weird about being here with Woojin amongst a sea of couples.
“Come on, Daniel,” Sungwoon finally cuts in, as Daniel is finishes his wholehearted recommendation of the magical petting zoo stall, “let’s leave them in peace.”
“Oh right,” Daniel says, shooting them a sly wink. “We’ll leave you two kids to your evening.”
The last comment irks Jihoon because Daniel might be two years older, but he’s certainly far less mature than him. When Daniel and Sungwoon finally leave, Jihoon walks towards Daehwi’s stall.
“Wait, you want to do the kissing booth?” Woojin asks, alarmed.
“Just to say hi,” Jihoon replies. In truth, he’s kind of curious to see what sort of set up Daehwi’s come up with. Especially if it relates to soulmates.
He walks into the tent, closely followed by Woojin. It’s fairly large and decorated with several mirrors. There’s a line of people inside, waiting their turn for where a very bored-looking Jinyoung collects money from the customers, while Daehwi carefully places what looks like a tube of lipstick in each of their hands. Daehwi spots them the moment they enter and walks over enthusiastically. Jinyoung nods at them in greeting. Jihoon notices that both Jinyoung and Daehwi’s lips are also a bright, cherry red.
“You came,” Daehwi enthuses when reaches them. He gestures around the tent. “Do you like it? I got some last-minute inspiration to mix things up from the two of you actually.”
“How does this work?” Jihoon asks. “Finding your soulmate?”
“It’s super simple,” Daehwi replies, reaching for one of the lipsticks and holding it out like an offering. “You just buy the lipstick and apply it to your lips before you kiss someone. It’s translucent at first and enchanted so if you’re soulmates your lips will turn red, and if you’re not, then they’ll turn blue.”
Woojin laughs. “That’s a pretty clever ruse, Daehwi. How much have you earned tonight?”
Daehwi shoots a look over his shoulder at Jinyoung and the line of customers, none of whom seem to be paying them any mind, before he levels a glare at Woojin. “Not a ruse. Look,” he slaps the lipstick into Woojin’s palm. “Try it for yourself. Free of charge for friends and family.”
Jihoon has to admit he’s sort of intrigued.
“Fine,” Woojin says, never one to back down from a challenge. He uncaps the lipstick and spreads a sheer coat on his lips, leaving them shiny and plump looking, before turning to face Jihoon. Jihoon doesn’t know why he’s feeling so irrationally nervous. It’s not like the outcome matters anyway, whether or not it reveals them to be soulmates. Their soul bond already proves it, and it’s not like Jihoon is even supposed to care if Woojin is his soulmate or not.
Woojin reaches out a hand to cup Jihoon’s jaw, and Jihoon’s stomach does several somersaults as he tenses in anticipation. Instead of a kiss on the lips, however, Woojin plants a loud smack on Jihoon’s cheek. Jihoon knows he isn’t supposed to feel disappointed, since he’s not supposed to want to kiss Woojin in the first place, and yet he does.
When Woojin pulls away, Jihoon sees a bright red lip print on his cheek reflected back at him in one of the many hanging mirrors.
Then, to both Jihoon and Daehwi’s complete shock, Woojin reaches for Daehwi’s face and plants a kiss on his cheek as well. It’s red once again, though the lip print is slightly fainter.
“Nice try, fraud,” Woojin gloats, “I guess I have two soulmates now?” Daehwi glares at him, scrubbing angrily at his cheek to wipe away the mark.
“Fine,” Daehwi says, lowering his voice to a whisper and continuing to shoot surreptitious glances over his shoulder. “It’s a simple one-time-use color changing spell and I give people lipsticks based on what option I think they and their partner would suit best. Obviously, it’s fake. I didn’t have time to invent some epic soulmate-identifying spell, let alone in a matter of days.”
Jihoon feels deceived. Doubly deceived in fact. First by Woojin’s fake out and then by Daehwi. He probably should’ve realized this latter one couldn’t possibly be true, but he still glares at Daehwi for good measure.
“So you’re a conman,” Jihoon says, unimpressed. He can feel himself start to get angry.
“All carnival games are rigged, Jihoon,” Daehwi remarks, “People know that it’s fake and it’s not like I’m profiting—all the proceeds go to charity. Plus, what’s wrong with spreading a little more love anyway? I only give out the blue lipsticks if it looks like a really bad match.”
Woojin must feel Jihoon’s temper ready to boil over, because he grabs Jihoon’s hand once again and pivots towards the exit. “Daehwi, we’ve actually got go now. Good luck with everything.”
“No problem. Thanks for swinging by.”
Woojin and Jihoon leave the tent.
“You’re really upset,” Woojin notes as they walk towards the next stall.
“It’s nothing,” Jihoon replies. An obvious lie.
Truthfully, he feels angry at Daehwi for hosting a farce of a stall, angry at Woojin for nearly kissing him but not following through, but most of all, he feels angry at himself, for hoping for a kiss and for caring so much about some dumb soulmate test to begin with.
He tries to focus on the stall in front of him—which houses some enchanted dice game—and will away his frustration.
By the end of the evening, his anger is gone.
The wistful feeling of longing never entirely dissipates though, and Jihoon spends the entire night feeling slightly off, like he’s suspended in midair, or waiting for a kiss that never comes.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Theoretical Magic has always been Jihoon’s least favorite class. The only reason he doesn’t skip it outright is because he shares it with Woojin, and he doesn’t want to face Woojin’s smug expression when Jihoon inevitably grows desperate and begs him for notes.
And now, of course, their soul bond adds an extra incentive to attend. Jihoon finds it’s always most at peace—that he feels the most content—when they’re close. (Or maybe that’s not the soul bond at all, and just Jihoon’s confusing new feelings.)
Still, at best, the class can be considered dull, and Professor Kwon tends to drone on and on, using complex terminology and convoluted phrasing that is far beyond what Jihoon is able to process this early in the morning.
He’s not the only one who isn’t paying attention either. Woojin takes notes of course, listening with rapt attention, and at this rate, Jihoon is probably going to have to steal them out of his bag later when Woojin is distracted so he can copy them.
Daehwi, however, who sits at Woojin’s other side, is equally as distracted as Jihoon. While Jihoon’s eyes glaze over as he tries to follow along with Professor Kwon’s complicated explanations (its so much harder to learn about magic when it’s all theoretical; Jihoon has always preferred practical demonstrations), Daehwi’s thumbs are flying across the screen of his phone as he taps out a lengthy message. He looks up suddenly and smiles, clearly pleased by the text he’s just read.
Daehwi leans across Woojin to divulge his news, not the least bit worried about getting caught gossiping in the middle of lecture. Thankfully, they’re seated near the back today.
“Hyungseob is hosting a party tonight,” Daehwi whispers conspiratorially, “at his parents place. Apparently they’re gone this weekend and you know they’re filthy rich.”
“Cool,” Woojin replies, craning his neck around Daehwi in what is a valiant effort to continue following along with the class.
“You’re coming right?” Daehwi prods.
Jihoon yawns. “Who’s going?”
“Like, everyone who is anyone,” Daehwi says with a roll of his eyes. “If you don’t want to be labeled a friendless nerd, you’d better show up tonight.”
Woojin actually turns away from the lecture to look at Jihoon and they share a smirk at Daehwi’s antics.
“Sure, whatever,” Woojin agrees, waving him off. “Be quiet now.”
“Jihoon?” Daehwi asks.
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Jihoon responds. Parties aren’t usually his scene, but it’s been months since he last went to one, and if Woojin’s going too, he knows he’ll have fun.
Satisfied by the answer, Daehwi returns to his phone, typing off another rapid text to whoever. Jihoon does his best to refocus on the lecture, wishing that the soul bond allowed him to channel some of Woojin’s focus as well. Sadly, he’s on his own.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Professor Kwon returns their papers at the end of class and they fly neatly into each pupil’s hands. Jihoon glances at the paper with his usual nervousness, despite the fact that he has a pretty good feeling about it this time. It’s probably the most accurate piece of academic research he’s ever turned in. After all, so much of it was based on his own experiences.
When he looks down, however, there’s no letter grade on it, just in bold, red pen: See Me.
Woojin hovers nearby, and Jihoon turns to him just in time to see him stuff his paper into his backpack, a bright red ‘A’ scrawled across the top.
Jihoon frowns at his own.
“Hey, I gotta stay and talk to Professor Kwon for a bit. Don’t wait up,” Jihoon tells him. Woojin shoots him a concerned glance, but exits with the rest of the students.
Jihoon waits until the usual overeager students are done with their questions and flattery before he approaches Professor Kwon. He feels rather awkward and is thankful that they’re the only ones left in the lecture hall.
“Oh, Jihoon,” Professor Kwon remarks she sees him. “I assume you’re here to talk about your paper.”
“Yes,” Jihoon shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot. “Did I do something wrong?”
“On the contrary,” Professor Kwon says, peering at him over her glasses. “This is the best work from you I’ve seen all semester. It’s accurate, so meticulously detailed, and yet,” she pauses and shakes her head, “so poorly sourced."
Jihoon chews on his lip.
"I checked up on your sources, Jihoon, and practically all of them are invented. Those that do exist and that are accessible to undergrad students in the library, don’t even graze the surface of the depths that you delve into in your paper.”
“I— um,“ Jihoon stumbles over his words, not exactly sure how to answer. Professor Kwon doesn’t seem outright angry, which is good, but he struggles to get a read on her tone.
“Jihoon,” she cuts in, no doubt growing impatient with his inability to form a coherent sentence. “Soul bonds fall under the broader category of what we teach in this course—theoretical magic—but it’s not entirely theoretical. They exist. Rare and extremely under-researched, but it happens, every now and then.”
Jihoon gulps, fairly sure he’s been caught redhanded.
“Am I allowed to ask you if your information was came from a primary source? If this was, perhaps, a first-hand account of your own experiences?”
“It was an accident,” Jihoon confesses, hurriedly. “I never meant for any of it to happen, I just was reading a book out loud and then suddenly—BAM!—soul bonded.” When he realizes he's echoing Woojin's exact description to Youngmin, he only feels stupider.
Professor Kwon just nods, though, taking in his words. “I’m not angry at you, you know. Just fascinated. It’s really rare to encounter, as basic as the spell itself may seem. Honestly the opportunities to research a soul-bonded individual are so limited—“ she pauses and catches herself, flashing him an almost chagrined smile, “what I mean to say is that you are lucky.”
“I don’t know about that,” Jihoon mutters. “I don’t think I’ve noticed any benefits.”
Professor Kwon looks like she’s biting her own tongue to keep from asking more prying questions. “Well not every soul bond is going to work the same way,” she says.
Jihoon realizes just then that he’s probably in the most ideal situation ever to ask the resident expert about the magic. “Say, Professor, just hypothetically speaking, how are soul bonds broken?”
She smiles at him sympathetically. “You’re worried that yours will accidentally splinter?” Jihoon nods, encouragingly. “Well don’t be. Soul bonds can’t be broken unless both parties explicitly reject it and ask for it to be.”
“That’s— reassuring, thank you.”
“Of course,” she responds. She takes Jihoon’s paper back and scribbles a bright red ‘A ’ across the top and hands it back to him, before gathering her bag and coat. “I could talk details with you all day Jihoon, but unfortunately, I’ve got another class to get to. Drop by office hours if you ever want to talk more though. If you’re open to it, I’d love to ask you a few more questions. For extra credit, of course.”
Jihoon nods and bids her goodbye, making his own exit soon after. He has zero intention to ever attend her office hours if he can help it, the gleam in her eye making him feel far too much like a lab specimen for him to feel comfortable with.
Still, he has somehow and without intending to, found his answer to the issue that has been at the center of his thoughts for the past couple weeks. And it’s so much simpler than he had imagined.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Woojin is waiting for him outside the lecture hall.
“I told you not to wait for me,” Jihoon remarks when he sees Woojin standing there, but his voice sounds more fond than annoyed.
“What type of best friend would I be if I left you to Professor Kwon’s clutches?”
“You literally did leave me though,” Jihoon points out just to be contrary.
They fall in step as they exit the building.
“Semantics,” Woojin says, waving his hand. “So are you in trouble?”
“Nope,” Jihoon says and holds out his paper proudly in front of Woojin. “A-plus.”
It feels pretty good to know that at least he accomplished his original goal from that fateful day that he marched into the library, unintended soul bond aside.
Woojin’s eyes narrow. “I feel like there’s more to this story that you’re not telling me.”
Jihoon just flashes him an innocent smile, though he can feel the guilt eat away at him inside.
He doesn’t know why he doesn’t tell Woojin the truth just then, only that it doesn’t feel right to bring up splitting the bond. Not when they’ve finally achieved this balance. Woojin is in such a good mood too, and their bond almost humming in satisfaction.
Maybe it’s selfish on Jihoon’s part, but he kind of wants a day where he isn’t worrying about the soul bond for once. He just wants to enjoy the evening and have fun and then worry about everything later. He’ll tell Woojin soon though.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Hyungseob’s house is huge and the party is in full swing by the time they arrive. A college party hosted by a wizard is no different than any other college party Jihoon’s seen in movies as it turns out. Magic doesn’t account for taste after all.
Nonetheless, a party turns out to be exactly what Jihoon needed to unwind, even though he never thought he’d be saying that. It’s far from his usual scene—in fact he typically steers clear of any large gathering—but it’s a distraction, and he needs a distraction so he doesn’t keeping spiraling, thinking the same confusing thoughts about Woojin that have been plaguing his mind since the festival.
Jihoon and Woojin both select beers from the coolers (the least suspicious drinks on offer) and head outside to the deck. It’s the middle of winter, but the heating charms that have been cast around the garden ensure that it’s as comfortable as a summer afternoon.
He can’t remember the last time he felt this way, this happy and this fulfilled. He just content to be by Woojin’s side and he tells him as much.
“Jihoon, getting sentimental on me?” Woojin laughs. “Just how much have you had to drink?”
“Just one beer,” Jihoon responds. So what? He’s happy and for once he doesn’t feel like holding that in. “Am I not allowed to like you?”
Woojin laughs again and shakes his head, amused. “I never said that. Though you should be careful about who you go around saying these things to. You’ll get a reputation as a heartbreaker if you’re not careful.”
“I wouldn’t ever say that to anyone else in the first place,” Jihoon points out, rolling his eyes.
“Good. Because I don’t want to clean up the mess of broken hearts hurricane Jihoon leaves in its wake,” Woojin responds, keeping his tone light.
Jihoon merely shrugs at this. He knows that objectively, by most people’s standards, he’s considered attractive, but despite what Woojin often claims, as far as Jihoon can tell, he’s not exactly drowning in admirers. At least no one who willingly approaches him anyway.
Apparently standing outside on the deck is the universal signal that they’re in line for beer pong, and they get unexpectedly roped into the next game. Putting Jihoon and Woojin on one team is always a mistake for their opponents, and they annihilate their competition three rounds in a row, before they gracefully bow out.
“I’m all sticky,” Woojin grumbles, after the third win. The beer has formed a film on his hands. Beer pong tends to get a lot messier when levitating charms are allowed. “I’m going to wash up.”
Jihoon follows him into the restroom out of instinct more than anything, but Woojin doesn’t seem to think anything of it.
They’ve been in each other’s space the whole evening, and while Woojin runs the tap to wash his hands, Jihoon hooks his chin over Woojin’s shoulder, taking in their flushed appearances.
“Don’t you think we look good together?” Jihoon asks, tongue loose from the beer.
Woojin makes eye contact with him through the mirror. “I guess?” He laughs and shakes his head as though Jihoon is being ridiculous.
“I think we do,” Jihoon huffs in response. “We’d make a good couple aesthetically speaking. Plus, we’re already soulmates so we’d outdo all the other couples.”
Woojin turns around in Jihoon’s arms, bringing them face to face in what is already a cramped restroom, as he reaches around Jihoon to grab the towel to dry his hands.
“And who are all these hypothetical couples we’re competing with?” Woojin asks. He’s amused, but there’s also an undercurrent of anticipation? Of nervousness? Jihoon can’t entirely puzzle it out.
“I’m just saying,” Jihoon breathes, feeling bold. “Haven’t you ever thought that? About us together?”
The question hangs there for a beat, hovering, almost tangible in the short space between them.
He doesn't know who moves first only that they meet halfway and Woojin's answer comes in the form of a press of lips, warm against his. They're kissing, and as Woojin’s lips moves against his own, all Jihoon can think is ‘finally’.
It's like the knot in his stomach he’s had since the festival is finally unravelling, and every part of him, the soul bond, his mind, his heart, seems in tune to the fact that this just feels so right. A deep sense of satisfaction settles in his chest.
Woojin's lips are soft against his, plush and pliant and it's sweet, so much sweeter than Jihoon had ever imagined their kisses ever being, even if they’re making out in a restroom of all places.
Not that he's spent a lot of time thinking about what their kisses would be like or anything. He’s never allowed his mind to go there before now, marking it off as ‘dangerous territory.’
The soul bond is happy, buzzing in the way that Jihoon sometimes feels when he feels especially close to Woojin. Or maybe the buzzing feeling is just from the alcohol that's making him slightly tipsy.
It seems that thought occurs to Woojin at the exact time, and he pulls back suddenly, and sucks in a deep breath. Like a man emerging from the water and coming up for air.
"We shouldn't do this," Woojin says, shakily.
"Why not?" Jihoon says. He feels agitated (probably Woojin) and kind of desperate (probably him).
"We're drunk."
"We've both only had like two beers. Three max. I know neither of us are drunk from that Woojin. Why'd you actually stop?" Jihoon lowers his voice to a whisper. "Did you not... like it?"
Woojin sighs and Jihoon starts to feel guilty because of how worked up Woojin is beginning to feel, but its also mingled with his own hurt, because was kissing him really that bad?
"No I did," Woojin says. "But that's kind of beside the point.”
"Then what is your point?"
"We're best friends," Woojin says with a sigh.
"And? Best friends can kiss. We'll still be best friends tomorrow anyway. This wouldn't change anything." Jihoon says. The rational side of him is aware that he sounds like a brat, that he's pressuring Woojin in a way that's completely unjustified, but his tipsy, emotional side, doesn't get why Woojin is being so reluctant. Jihoon could literally just feel how happy they were, how in tune their soul bond was a minute ago. Why is Woojin lying to himself and to Jihoon?
"We're not just best friends though," Woojin barrels on, as though Jihoon didn't just make a perfectly excellent point. "We're also soulmates."
“Even better.”
Woojin grabs Jihoon's hand, gentle despite their argument, how he always is with Jihoon during their serious moments, and looks him straight in the eye. There's no anger in his eyes or in his heart, just desperate earnestness. "Jihoon can you honestly tell me that you wanted to kiss me because it's me? Or because it's our soul bond and it just feels nice because of that?"
Jihoon hesitates.
He hadn’t thought about the why of it, only that he knows he wants to. Has wanted to for at least the past week. He wonders if that’s how Woojin felt. If he was only kissing him because it felt nice. Maybe Jihoon was doing the same. He doesn't know anymore.
Woojin laughs, but it rings false to Jihoon's ears and he is hit with a wave of bitterness that follows. Woojin appears to have read his own answer in the silence.
"Let's just... forget this happened and go back to the party."
Jihoon doesn't even get a chance to respond because Woojin is already pulling the door open. The muffled sounds of party now echoing loudly in the restroom, and then Woojin is gone, the door swinging closed in his wake. Jihoon is left standing there and wondering what the hell just happened.
Jihoon's head feels too muddled to fully process what just happened and determine whether or not their soul bond is influencing how he's feeling. Probably, to an extent, but why does it matter? If they're having fun, if they're enjoying it, if it's making them both happy who the hell cares if the soul bond is happy as well?
Woojin's statements feel like flimsy excuses. To Jihoon, what it really boils down to, is this: Woojin rejected him. And for the first time in their ten years of friendship, Woojin has made Jihoon feel unwanted.
Sudden anger overtakes Jihoon and he bursts out of the restroom a moment later, door slamming shut behind him.
Well, if Woojin doesn't want him, then screw him. They're at a party, it can’t be that difficult to find someone here who does.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
There's a simple rule of thumb about going to magical college parties and that is that you always, always stay away from the punch bowl.
Jihoon entirely forgoes this rule, however, because he's a man on a mission, and after Woojin killed his vibe, he's going to need something extra to help him loosen up and find his groove again.
Jihoon helps himself to a generous cup of the punch and tastes it. It's strong, but the taste isn't that bad, and anyway, that's what he wants. This is not a night intended for good decision making. This is a night for vengeance. He downs the rest of the cup quickly and wipes at his lips with his sleeve.
He surveys the room, looking for anyone that catches his interest. No one yet, but that’s hardly surprising when you’re as picky as Jihoon is. He figures the dance floor has the best potential though, so with hooded eyes and his most seductive smile he moves in that direction.
He doesn't see Woojin, but through the bond he can sense that he's somewhere on the other side of the house, possibly outside on the deck again—in any case, far from the dance floor, which is perfect.
Jihoon his making his way across the room towards the dance floor, when he’s stopped by a friendly face.
“Hey Jihoon,” the man greets. He’s tall and objectively handsome and Jihoon thinks quite familiar, though the name escapes him for the time being, In any case, he’ll do perfectly fine as a dance partner.
“Hi,” Jihoon responds, fixing his best heartbreaker smile on his face. “I know you from… somewhere.”
“We both in Intermediate Enchantments together last semester. I’m Donghan.”
Jihoon hums, paying him little attention. He’s just caught sight of Woojin in the crowd, though he disappears again just as quickly.
Jihoon turns to the guy—Donghan, his brain supplies him—abruptly. “You like me right?”
“Um,” Donghan hesitates, unsure of what response he’s looking for, and Jihoon waves his hand to signal that it's irrelevant.
“It doesn’t matter. I,” Jihoon says with as much emphasis as he can, and hopes he isn’t slurring his words—the punch his hitting him much harder now, “need someone to dance with me. Can you do that?”
“Uh, yeah, I can dance,” Donghan replies. He smiles at Jihoon, looking far more confident at the change in topic now, and Jihoon grins, satisfied. Without further ado he drags Donghan to the dance floor.
Jihoon puts his hands on Donghan’s shoulders. The DJ switches tracks to a hip hop song and Jihoon lets himself enjoy the moment—of swaying in time to the beat of the music with a warm body to keep him company.
They don’t talk. In fact, Jihoon closes his eyes half the time, letting the music overtake him and losing himself in it, letting go of every thought he’s ever had about kissing or Woojin or kissing Woojin.
He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but it feels like mere minutes before he’s quite unceremoniously ripped away from his dance partner. Jihoon eyes open in shock and he comes face to face with the furious gaze of Daehwi. Jinyoung hovers behind him kind of awkwardly.
"Jihoon." Daehwi sounds pissed. "Come with me."
Jihoon glares, irritated. He already knows why Daehwi is here: to do what he does best and tell Jihoon that he's being idiot. Well Jihoon doesn't have to put up with that right now. He's at a party, he's having fun, he's dancing with someone who actually wants to dance with him, even if Donghan's not nearly as good of or as fun a dance partner as Woojin. Daehwi can fuck right off.
"No. You're not my mother," Jihoon responds and loops his arms defiantly around Donghan's shoulders, pulling him closer.
Daehwi ignores him and turns to Donghan, pasting on his sweetest smile. "Do you mind if I borrow him for a second?"
Donghan looks rather torn as he takes in Daehwi's angelic smile and Jihoon, who furiously shakes his head 'no'. "Yeah go ahead,” he finally settles on, “I can wait."
"Thank you love," Daehwi responds, sugary sweet. He proceeds to wrap his long fingers around Jihoon's wrist and pulls. Jihoon folds and goes with him mostly because he's been drinking and Daehwi is stronger than he looks. Also, his fingernails are like talons digging into his skin, which hurts.
Daehwi drags Jihoon by the arm towards a slightly quieter corner by the staircase. Jinyoung follows.
"What are you doing?" Daehwi hisses, once they're alone.
"Dancing," Jihoon scoffs. "Obviously."
"What about Woojin?" Daehwi whisper-yells. "Did you even think about him before you starting dancing all up on that guy?"
"Woojin doesn't care anyway."
Daehwi narrows his eyes. "Don't give me that crap Jihoon. We've been pretending we didn't notice because you two seemed hellbent on keeping it a secret, but you're taking this too far."
"Notice what?"
"That you're dating," Jinyoung fills in quietly. Jihoon suddenly feels like all the air in the room has been sucked out.
Daehwi nods in agreement. "And let's not act like Woojin isn't moping right now. Maybe resolve your lovers' spat by actually talking to him instead of trying to make him jealous?"
"It's not a lovers' spat," Jihoon spits out, ripping himself out of Daehwi's grip. They couldn’t be farther from the truth. “Also, it's not really any of your business," he adds before storming off. He’s proud of himself for only swaying a little bit.
He doesn't want to talk to Daehwi about it. He doesn't want to think about any of it, if he's being honest.
A glance at the dance floor is enough to see that it’s far too crowded to find anyone there, and so Jihoon doesn't bother trying to look for Donghan again. What he needs, is another drink.
Jihoon is helping himself to another cup of the punch, when a hand grabs his shoulder. Jihoon whirls around, ready to attack whoever snuck up on him only to see that it's Donghan again.
“I don’t think you should drink that,” he says. Jihoon narrows his eyes and takes a defiant sip.
“I’m serious, Jihoon,” Donghan continues and he tries to grab the cup from him. Jihoon tightens his grip on the cup, yanking his arm back and consequently spilling the bright red liquid all across the front of his sweater.
“You made me spill my drink,” Jihoon seethes.
“I’m sorry,” Donghan apologizes. His voice is imploring, “but you need to stop drinking. You can’t even stand straight.”
Proving his point, Jihoon sways slightly on his feet, and he grabs the counter to steady himself. His sweater is still dripping from the red punch and he feels murderous.
“Can people stop telling me what I can and can’t do tonight?” Jihoon says, raising his voice in anger. It catches the attention of the people around them, but Jihoon doesn’t care. He strips off his sweater, trying to squeeze out the liquid into the sink.
“What’s going on here?” A familiar voice asks, and Jihoon feels a surge of protectiveness rise within him. It’s Woojin and Woojin's feelings, and even though Jihoon’s still smarting from earlier, he mostly feels relieved and reassured by his friend's presence.
“Is he bothering you?” Woojin asks him and Jihoon shrugs.
Donghan looks awkward and uncomfortable, probably because when Woojin gets angry he actually looks like the sort of person that could beat you up rather than the child he actually is.
“I was just trying to help,” Donghan says. “Look, I’ll leave you to it.”
“That would be appreciated, thanks,” Woojin replies, cooly.
“Just… make sure he gets home safe. He’s been drinking from that punch bowl all night,” Donghan says, and huh, he seems like he’s probably a nice guy. Jihoon almost feels bad for dragging him into his own personal drama. Even if he went willingly.
Donghan leaves, and then Woojin is rounding on him, concern evident in his eyes.
“Jihoon? You okay?”
Jihoon nods sadly, still holding the stained sweater in his hands. His vision swims with every bob of his head.
“I hate this party.”
“Come on, I’ll take you home,” Woojin says, wrapping one hand around Jihoon’s elbow and the other around his shoulder and carefully guiding him from the kitchen towards the exit. Jihoon is thankful for Woojin’s firm grip because he feels very wobbly on his legs all the sudden.
After that, everything become a blur. All he recalls are various snippet—Woojin navigating him through the crowd, Daehwi and Jinyoung’s concerned expressions, flashes of nighttime scenery in the uber home, Woojin at his side. He nods off, only waking when they arrive outside his dorm building and Woojin helps guide him the rest of the way back to his room.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Jihoon feels ready to pass out the moment his head hits the pillow, but Woojin is still puttering around, making sure Jihoon is comfortable. He’s cast a simple cleaning spell on Jihoon’s sweater—Woojin has always been good at those—and now it’s hanging up to dry. Jihoon closes his eyes, trying to stop the spinning of the room and let sleep overtake him when Woojin’s voice interrupts him.
"Drink this," Woojin says, holding out a glass of purple... something. Jihoon doesn't actually know what the liquid is supposed to be.
Jihoon eyes it dubiously. "What is it?"
"Sobriety potion. I'm pretty sure you drank too much for it to have full effect, but at least it should reduce your hangover in the morning and counter any strange additions that might have ben added to the punch."
"Where did you even get this?" Jihoon asks. It’s not like Woojin is a regular drinker. He takes a big gulp nonetheless, because his insides are already turning and threatening to rebel against him.
"Daniel-hyung brews this stuff," Woojin says once Jihoon has finished it, and Jihoon looks at the empty glass with horror. "What? He’s smart and he says it takes it all the time."
"He might be smart, but he's almost poisoned my brother countless times with his concoctions. Let's just admit that potions aren't exactly his strength."
"Whatever. It can't be worse than whatever you already ingested at the party," Woojin says. Point taken.
"Fine," Jihoon mutters and Woojin walks over towards the door. “Wait, where are you going?” Jihoon asks in sudden panic. It doesn’t seem like Woojin is planning to spend the night for the first time in weeks.
“To my dorm so you can get proper rest.”
“No,” Jihoon insists, not caring if he sounds like a petulant child. “You need to stay here. What if I have horrible side effects from that purple drink?”
“You won’t.“
Jihoon looks up at Woojin, pleadingly. “Spend the night here."
"Jihoon..." Woojin begins.
“—no, don't Jihoon me,” he interrupts. He can feel emotion building within him. "Tonight has already sucked enough. Can we just put everything on pause till tomorrow? Then you can be angry or lecture me or whatever, but for tonight, can I please just have my best friend back?"
His words have the desired effect because Woojin heaves a deep sigh. "Okay."
Woojin borrows one of Jihoon’s extra sets of pajamas, changing swiftly, before walking over and scooting under the covers. Jihoon makes room to accommodate him. They end up spooning just because it's the most comfortable position, and Jihoon is far past caring about boundaries tonight.
"Just so you know," Woojin says softly into Jihoon's hair. "I never left."
“Hmm,” Jihoon mumbles, already feeling sleep threaten to overtake him.
"I'm still your best friend Jihoon. That's never going to change. I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
The only reply Woojin gets is Jihoon’s quiet, steady breaths, signaling that he’s already deep in slumber.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
The following morning is painful to say the least. Daniel’s purple concoction may have eased the worst of it, but Jihoon still wakes up with a splitting headache and feeling utterly miserable. Woojin is beside him, already awake and sitting propped upright with one of Jinyoung’s manhwas open on his lap. A quick glance around the room tells him that Jinyoung didn’t come home last night.
Jihoon lets out a groan as he forces himself up onto his elbows and Woojin looks up from his manhwa.
“You’re alive,” Woojin comments, sounding and feeling more relieved than the joking words might imply.
“If this counts as being alive I’d rather choose death.”
“Come on,” Woojin says, prodding him in the shoulder. “Let’s get breakfast. Not even magic can beat the time-tested hangover cure: greasy food.”
Breakfast is about as extravagant affair as it can be considering they're at a western-style diner. Woojin orders enough food for an entire army—plates of eggs, fried potatoes, and link sausages piled high in front of them.
Woojin digs in with enthusiasm, and while Jihoon would normally be doing the same, his stomach roils at the thought.
“How can you be this excited for food when I feel nauseous? Shouldn’t you be feeling terrible too?”
Woojin shrugs. “A man’s gotta eat. Plus this food will help, I swear.”
Jihoon looks at his plate and pokes the scrambled eggs with his fork. It jiggles in rather disturbing manner. He sighs and watches as Woojin scarfs down his potatoes. The events from last night still weigh heavy on his mind.
“Thanks for taking me home last night,” Jihoon finally says, breaking the silence.
Woojin swallows and actually sets down his fork. “You don’t need to be thanking me. I should be apologizing to you for last night.”
Jihoon can feel the sincerity behind his words even if he doesn’t understand what Woojin is referring to.
“What are you apologizing for? The kiss?” Jihoon asks, confused. “Or running off?”
“Both I guess. For feeling so loudly. For upsetting you. For making you do things you regret. And for leaving you alone.”
“Woojin, in case you forgot, I’m the one who wanted to keep kissing.”
“I remember,” Woojin laughs humorlessly, “and that’s the problem.”
“Why?”
“Because,” Woojin sighs and scrubs a hand over his face, “because if we go down that path there’s only one way for it to end, and it’s with both of us regretting everything.”
“Do you regret last night?” Jihoon asks, voice small.
Conflict wars within Woojin as he gazes at him, but there are too many emotions swirling at once for Jihoon to pick them apart and decipher them.
“A little bit, yeah.”
“Oh.”
The surge of hurt that rises within him is sharper than a knife to the heart. He knows Woojin feels it too because he looks rather pathetic, like he feels terrible for making Jihoon feel that way, but not terrible enough to change his mind.
“Jihoon, I know you’re twisting the events to match your own interpretation right now, but please don't feel hurt. It wasn’t the kiss. It wasn’t you. I just think it’s best if we pretend it never happened. Chalk it up to a drunken mistake.”
Woojin sounds desperate, pleading for Jihoon to understand.
Jihoon understands it all. It’s perfectly clear really, and if Woojin doesn’t want this then Jihoon’s not about to beg him to change his mind.
“If that’s what you want,” Jihoon replies, letting iciness filter into his voice, harden his feelings.
“I just don’t want our friendship to change because of this,” Woojin says. He’s anxious again. “You get that, right?”
“It won’t change,” Jihoon replies, though the words sound false to his own ears. Already he can feel a wall forming between them.
They finish the rest of their breakfast in silence. Jihoon only manages a few measly bites, what little appetite he had entirely dashed after their conversation. Woojin pays for them both and offers to walk Jihoon back, but Jihoon invents a flimsy excuse to avoid him. He feels raw and wrung out and the very last thing he needs is for Woojin to go around acting a gentleman and treating him like they’re on a date. Not after he’d just completely and totally rejected him.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
He doesn’t see Woojin again until their Modern Potions Lab the following day. He barely slept at all the night before, unable to fall asleep with the cold empty space beside him where Woojin was supposed to be.
He’s trying to do as Woojin requested and pretend everything is normal, but it isn’t working. Their jokes ring hollow and eventually they lapse into silence until they finish the rest of their assignment. Jihoon’s spirit just isn’t in the conversation and he knows he’s not fooling Woojin either.
He wonders how long it will be until he no longer associates Woojin with the sting of rejection.
What’s more is that he knows he has to tell Woojin the truth about how to break their bond. It’s clear that even though Woojin claims things are going to return to normal, that he’s setting up boundaries anyway—like no longer sleeping together at night—and just for practical reasons, it doesn’t make sense to delay it any longer. The soul bond is just going to grow unhappy if they minimize their time together, and Jihoon really doesn’t need a repeat of that one Saturday at Sungwoon’s apartment.
Jihoon doesn’t even know why he’s keeping any of this information a secret or what he’d been hoping to gain from it, but it’s only growing more evident that Woojin wants to be free of this bond. And maybe that’s why Jihoon doesn’t. Because he’s scared. Scared that, once given the choice to, Woojin is going to leave him entirely.
It doesn’t seem very fair to hold Woojin hostage either, though, and Jihoon finally comes to the decision that he absolutely must tell Woojin the truth that afternoon. He heads to the dance studio where he knows Woojin will be.
Jihoon arrives just as Woojin is wrapping up his dance lesson with a class of eight-year-olds. It’s cute, Jihoon has to admit to himself, the way that Woojin talks to them and cheers them on. It figures that Woojin would get along well with children. Jihoon approaches him once the last of the kids have filtered out with their parents.
“Hey,” Woojin greets Jihoon, slightly surprised, as he pats a towel against his neck to soak up the sweat.
“Do you have a minute to talk?” Jihoon asks. There’s a knot in his stomach and he feels oddly nervous, which isn’t something he can ever recall feeling around Woojin before.
“Sure. I’m supposed to meet Youngmin-hyung, but I’ve got a few minutes before I have to go,” Woojin replies and smiles at him. The knot in Jihoon’s stomach only tightens in response. “What’s up?”
“I think I know how to break our soul bond. Actually, Professor Kwon told me how, so I’m pretty sure it will work.”
"I was wondering when you were going to tell me.” Jihoon blinks, rather taken aback by Woojin’s nonchalant response. Woojin laughs at his reaction. "Jihoon you've been feeling guilty for the past two days, obviously I felt it. It started ever since you met with her, so I knew something was up.”
"Oh.”
"Anyway, this is so much better than I had hoped for. I thought maybe you cheated on your paper or something, but you know how to break it? That's awesome. Finally everything can go back to normal.” Woojin beams.
"Yeah. Awesome." Jihoon replies. His words ring hollow to his own ears.
"So?" Woojin prods, eagerly. "Spill."
"Right," Jihoon responds, swallowing due to the sudden lump that’s formed in his throat. It’s fine that Woojin is excited. It’s what he expected. “It’s super simple apparently. All you have to do is ask it to."
"What? That's it?" Woojin asks, baffled. "Haven't we been asking for it to end these entire past three weeks?"
"You need to be explicit. It has to be verbal, but you mind and heart also need to reflect it," Jihoon says. "I guess we didn't ask clearly enough." Privately, Jihoon wonders if their failure to break it sooner is more tied to the emotional side of things, if he was clinging on to the soul bond connection without realizing it and trapping them together.
"It's so easy," Woojin enthuses. "We can end it right now."
"Yeah,” Jihoon says, echoing his earlier words. He can’t seem to muster much genuine enthusiasm right now, but Woojin’s is either so overpowering that he doesn’t notice it or just doesn’t care.
Woojin holds out his hands expectantly. Jihoon stares at them and Woojin smiles sheepishly. "I know we don't have to hold hands for this, but it somehow seems more appropriate? If we're breaking a curse."
Oh, so it looks like they're really are doing it now then.
Jihoon nods and raises both his hands, pressing them against Woojin's so they can interlace their fingers.
"I'll lead," Jihoon offers, mostly to give himself a moment to gather his thoughts. He doesn't want to be the reason that they fail to break it. "Be sure to empty your mind from anything that isn't directly related to breaking the bond."
"Okay," Woojin says. He's closed his eyes, and Jihoon follows suit.
Jihoon recalls the recent events in the past few weeks as he tries to make sure both his heart and mind are on the same page. His thinks about the kiss at the party, as he’s already done a truly embarrassing amount of times, and thinks about the following sting of Woojin’s rejection. He thinks about the sharp longing he felt from Woojin when they were at Youngmin’s place. He thinks about the anticipation he can feel radiating from Woojin at this very moment.
Jihoon will miss having Woojin there by his side as much. Will miss thinking of him as his soulmate. On the other hand, if there’s someone else Woojin would rather be with, Jihoon refuses to be the one to hold him back.
"Right," Jihoon says, confident that he’s now ready to break their bond. He takes a deep breath and says as authoritatively as possible, "please release us from this bond.”
Jihoon doesn’t know what he was expecting. Another orb of light perhaps. Some sort of sign that something as powerful as a soul bond had just been shattered. Instead, there’s nothing.
“Did it work?” Woojin asks, cracking one eye open.
Jihoon answers by pinching Woojin hard on the thigh. The tried-and-true method.
“Ow,” Woojin groans, doubling over to rub at his leg. Jihoon’s leg feels fine, not even the tiniest echo of pain.
“Yeah, it did,” Jihoon says, “I didn’t feel a thing.
It’s further confirmed when Woojin breaks out into a relieved grin and breathes, “that’s great!” and Jihoon doesn’t feel even the faintest nudge of relief at his subconscious. He doesn’t know what he feels exactly. Only that he was utterly wrong to hope this might make him feel better. He doesn’t. Not one bit. The expression on Woojin’s face couldn’t be more opposite from how Jihoon feels.
“What’s wrong?” Woojin asks, taking in Jihoon’s somber expression. “Should I pinch you too just to check?”
He reaches out a hand which Jihoon quickly bats away.
“Nothing is wrong, I’m just tired. Casting spells always drain me,” Jihoon says. It’s not entirely a lie, but also not even close to the truth.
“I can stay with you,” Woojin offers, concern etched on his face because he’s actually a good friend—Jihoon's best friend, despite everything. “Do you need anything? Water?”
“No, no,” Jihoon waves him off. “Go meet Youngmin-hyung. I know you’re looking forward to it. I’m just going to go back to the dorm to nap.”
“Okay,” Woojin says slowly, as though trying to read what Jihoon really wants. Jihoon pastes on his most convincing “I’m okay” expression. “But text me when you wake up so I know you’re fine, alright?”
Jihoon agrees and they part ways. For the first time in the past two weeks he doesn’t know what Woojin is feeling or where he’s going, and it feels wrong. Disconnected. Jihoon hates it.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Jihoon feels empty.
It doesn't make any sense, though. His soul bond is gone and he's finally himself again. For the first time in three weeks, he's not subject to Woojin’s invasive emotions reeking havoc on his mind and heart. So why is it that he feels more emotional, more conflicted, than he ever felt during the entire time that he shared a soul bond with Woojin? This is what he wanted. Should be what he wanted.
Nevertheless, the hollow feeling builds within him and causes his chest to ache. He doesn’t just feel empty, he feels bereft.
Before the bond, Jihoon was an expert at avoiding examining his deeper emotions; refusing to stir waters or dredge up the more complex feelings that determined his actions, the ones that would cause him to reexamine his relationships with others. This emptiness—this loneliness—is a feeling Jihoon can’t ignore, though. Maybe because he's become more in tune with his feelings than he was before.
Or maybe because he’s never felt any cause to feel lonely when he always knew Woojin was by his side.
Now, he isn’t so sure.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Sungwoon's apartment is empty when Jihoon arrives.
Jihoon isn’t surprised. It’s a Saturday after all and Sungwoon has always had a pretty active social life.
Jihoon lets himself in with his spare key anyway because he just needs to be away from his dorm right now. He doesn't want to be found by anyone; to have to deal with Guanlin’s attempts to cheer him up, or Jinyoung's curious glances, or Daehwi's prying questions. Most of all, he doesn’t want to deal with Woojin.
He feels utterly depleted and he’s not sure he could face any of his friends without having a breakdown.
The lights are off, but Jihoon can't be bothered to turn them on. He walks straight towards Sungwoon's bedroom, where he curls up in a ball on top of the neatly made covers.
For now, he just wants to rest.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Jihoon doesn't know how long he sleeps for, but he stirs when there is a dip in the mattress and warm hand on his shoulder. It takes him a moment to reorientate himself, as he blinks his eyes open and takes in the unfamiliar space. For a split second, he thinks it's Woojin by his side, before he realizes that it’s his brother.
“Hyung?” Jihoon asks into the mostly darkness. The only light filters in from the hall through the door that stands slightly ajar.
"Jihoonie," comes Sungwoon’s answering whisper. He wraps his arms around Jihoon, and even though Jihoon has long outgrown that phase and is fair bit bigger than his brother now, it reminds him of when he was a kid and used to crawl into Sungwoon’s bed after he had a bad nightmare. It’s comforting in a similar way. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Sungwoon doesn’t ask why Jihoon is here, knowing already that something must be wrong for him to be at his apartment when he so rarely visits, but also knowing his brother well enough to know that he’ll talk only when he’s ready to. While their day-to-day relationship tends more towards teasing and the occasional argument, it’s all good-natured, and in his heart, Jihoon always knows that he can turn to Sungwoon for anything. It’s just that, over the years, he’s had less and less of a reason to because he’s had Woojin.
Jihoon shakes his head slightly. “Maybe in the morning,” he mumbles into the pillow. The aching feeling in his heart has returned, but Jihoon hasn’t cried in years and he isn’t about to start now. If he were the type, though, he thinks, this would be the moment when he could imagine wetness staining his cheeks.
“Okay,” Sungwoon responds and gives Jihoon’s shoulder a comforting rub. “Just let me know if you need anything. Or if you want me to sic Daniel on someone.”
Jihoon gives a half-hearted snort. “Daniel couldn’t hurt a fly.”
“Nah, if I told him to, he would. And if I told him it was for you, he definitely would.”
That draws a reluctant laugh from Jihoon. “You don’t need to send your guard dog after anyone for me, hyung,” Jihoon reassures. “And I don’t need anything, but just stay? Please?” He hates how small he sounds when he says that last word. Thankfully, Sungwoon doesn’t comment on it.
“Of course,” Sungwoon replies, “I’m here.”
It takes Jihoon a long time before he finds sleep again, Sungwoon finding it far sooner and rolling over to the other end of the bed. Despite his comforting presence nearby, Jihoon can’t help but recall all the nights when it was Woojin’s comforting presence at his side instead. Eventually though, Sungwoon’s steady breaths lull him into a dreamless sleep.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Jihoon wakes for the second time, properly, to an empty bed and light filtering in through the curtains. The clock on Sungwoon's bedside table confirms that it's the morning.
The events of the past day coming rushing back to him, and even though he has absolutely no desire to pull himself out of bed and face today, he can hear voices from the kitchen and the telltale sounds of cooking. His stomach rumbles and hunger eventually wins out, drawing him out from the bedroom.
When he enters the kitchen he finds Daniel and Sungwoon hunched over the stove and a bowl of batter on the counter. Daniel is flipping pancakes with all the pride of a man who can cook exactly one dish well and is extremely stoked about it. Sungwoon has one arm around his waist, leaning around him to get a better look. The scene is crushingly domestic and Jihoon has half a mind to just turn on his heel and head back into the bedroom, leaving them to be happily in love while he returns to bed and mopes. He must make some noise though, because Sungwoon turns around and beams when he sees Jihoon standing there.
“Jihoonie, you’re awake,” Sungwoon greets, letting go of his boyfriend.
Daniel turns around too and waves with the spatula. “Good morning, Jihoon,” he says with an equally blinding smile. Honestly, happy couples are the worst.
“Mornin’” Jihoon mumbles, slouching over to one of the tall chairs at the counter and taking a seat.
Sungwoon sets down a steaming mug in front of Jihoon. “Mind-Ease Tea. Because it looks like you need it,” he says simply.
Jihoon thanks him and takes a sip. He looks around the apartment. There’s a blanket and a pillow on the couch which means that Daniel probably stayed over and slept there. Jihoon feels a momentary pang of guilt at the thought of his giant frame curled up on that couch. Then again, Daniel has his own place and Jihoon has as much the right to be here. He has a key after all.
“Do you feel any better?” Sungwoon asks, keeping his tone casual and light so as not to pressure Jihoon.
Jihoon shrugs. “I don’t know.” It’s the truth. He needed the sleep, especially after his previous restless night, but it also hasn’t fixed any of his problems. “Maybe a little.”
“Well just give me a name and point me in their direction and I’ll hex them good and proper.”
“As satisfying as that would be in the moment, I don’t think having you hex Woojin would solve anything,” Jihoon sighs. “Plus, you love him too much. You’d go easy on him anyway.”
Sungwoon and Daniel exchange a glance, and Jihoon doesn’t even have time to puzzle out what that means before Sungwoon speaks again.
“Yeah, I thought it might have something to do with him since you’re always together, especially since the bond. Did you two fight?”
“No, not really.” Jihoon still doesn’t feel like talking about it, but he also acknowledges that he doesn’t have the answers to why he feels so awful or what to do about Woojin, and maybe it isn’t the worst idea to get a third party perspective. Even if watching Sungwoon die from curiosity, but do his best to project an air of patience is amusing to watch. “We broke the soul bond.”
There’s a clatter as Daniel drops the spatula in surprise and he scrambles to pick it up. He returns his attention to his pancakes, pretending not to eavesdrop.
“Oh,” Sungwoon breathes. “So that’s why you fought.”
Jihoon already regrets telling them if they’re going to react like this.
“No, it’s what we both wanted,” Jihoon corrects, adamant in his denial. “I’ve told you that before.”
Sungwoon hums, considering his next words. Jihoon sips at his tea, refusing to budge.
“It’s funny, for all the blustering, I never got the sense that Woojin actually wanted that.” He turns to Daniel. “Did you?”
“Nope,” Daniel chimes in and Jihoon simultaneously wants to murder them both and die because of how entirely wrong they are. The irony. Woojin is the one who wanted it most of all.
“Well jokes on you both, because Woojin is the one who pushed me to break it. He’s the one who wanted to do it right away,” Jihoon replies harshly.
“You’re sure you both wanted to break it?”
“Yes,” Jihoon spits back. He feels cornered and now he remembers exactly why he avoids having heart-to-hearts with people. Because anytime someone tries to probe and ask him about his feelings he immediately feels like he needs to go on the offensive. Jihoon takes another sip of tea and tries to calm himself down. Getting mad at his brother isn't going to fix anything.
“We mutually agreed that we didn’t want this dumb soul bond. And now we broke it. And things should be great, because, like I said, it’s what I wanted. Only, now I feel this weird emptiness, or whatever, because it’s like Woojin was there beside me for three weeks and now he’s suddenly gone, that inconsiderate asshole. And it hurts. So much.”
He blurts his feelings out in a rush, inelegantly because he’s never been elegant at expressing his feelings, and he’s afraid he’ll chicken out if he stops. He feels vulnerable and laid bare and Sungwoon and Daniel won’t stop looking at him, with something like sympathy, and he absolutely hates it. This is why he can only trust Woojin, because he has never looked at Jihoon that way.
Or he used to be able to trust Woojin. Now he doesn’t know.
Daniel plates some pancakes and sets them down in front of Jihoon, drizzling a healthy amount of syrup on top.
“Eat something, it will help make you feel better,” Daniel says, simplistic in his optimism as always.
Jihoon is more than just ‘hangry’ right now though, but he digs in anyway, since he’s never been one to refuse a warm meal, and because it provides a convenient excuse to avoid any more of their sympathetic gazes. The pancakes are good at least, and he is starving since he skipped dinner last night.
Sungwoon pulls out the chair next to Jihoon and looks at him. Jihoon ignores him, choosing to focus on his food instead.
“You know,” Sungwoon begins, soft, reminiscing, “I used to worry about you a lot when you were younger.”
It's a total non-sequitur and comes as enough of a surprise that Jihoon looks up to meet his gaze.
Sungwoon gives a small chuckle, as he thinks about their past, as though recalling a particularly amusing memory. “I never told you, of course, because even when we were young I knew you could probably beat me up if you wanted to. And your temper tantrums were legendary.”
That is valid, Jihoon has to admit.
“But yeah, I worried. You were quiet as a kid and much shyer than me. I don’t think it’s inaccurate to say that I enjoy making friends, it’s easy for me. So I used to worry a lot, because you didn’t have any when you were a kid, and what’s more, you didn’t seem interested in trying. I told mom once, that I was scared that something was wrong with you, because I couldn’t understand how someone wouldn’t be like me, wouldn’t want to be around people all the time. Wouldn’t go make play dates or visit their friends after school because I was just entering middle school and that’s literally all I ever wanted to do, but you always chose to stay home and play games or read instead.”
Jihoon is listening with rapt attention. He notices out of the corner of his eye that Daniel has stopped cooking to pay attention too. Sungwoon doesn’t open up often, and this is a rare case. Sungwoon doesn’t notice though, totally focused on Jihoon.
“Mom tried to comfort me because I got really worked up over the idea, you know. And she told me, that not everyone has to have a lot of friends. For some people their family is enough and that’s all the love they need. For others, a few friends. And for some, it's just the one—that one person who really understands you, totally and completely. She said if you have that one, sometimes that’s all you ever need. She told me that you belonged to that latter group, and that I shouldn’t worry because one day you would find that person.”
Jihoon swallows at the sudden lump in his throat. He thinks he knows where this conversation is going, but he lets Sungwoon finish his thought.
“I don’t think I believed her until the day you brought Park Woojin home to dinner. Even then, seeing you two, I could tell that she was right, that you had found that friend, that person, and that I didn’t have to worry about my dorky little brother anymore.”
Jihoon clears his throat, trying to find his voice again. He’s unexpectedly touched by Sungwoon’s story.
“What if he doesn’t want to be my person anymore?” Jihoon asks, voice thick.
“And why wouldn’t he want to be?”
“Because,” Jihoon says, hesitating for a moment, as he tries to piece together his thoughts, “because I kissed him and he hated it.”
Even as he says those words they sound foolish to his ears. Childish, really.
“The Woojin I know isn’t going to stop being your best friend because of a kiss.”
Jihoon contemplates this, staring into his mug of tea as though it might hold the answers to all his problems. There are no tea leaves at the bottom though, and Jihoon has never been skilled at interpreting them anyway.
“What if,” Jihoon begins slowly, searching for the words to express the emotions he’s only just figuring out, “what if, I want him to be more than just my best friend? What if I liked it when he was my soulmate?”
Sungwoon and Daniel share another glance, and Daniel flicks off the stove this time and walks over to them.
“Then you should tell him that,” Daniel he says, voice decisive. “You can’t know what he’s going to say if you don’t give him a chance to tell him yourself.”
Sungwoon nods in agreement.
Jihoon mulls over their words. Maybe they’re right, and he should just talk it out with Woojin. Even if he doesn’t know exactly what he’s feeling, he feels, something, and Woojin has always understood him, better sometimes than Jihoon understands himself.
Only then, he remembers, unbidden, the feelings of longing that pulled at his heart when they were at Youngmin’s apartment.
“I think he likes someone else though. That’s why he didn’t want to have our soul bond anymore. So he could be available for them.” The more he thinks about it, the more sure of it he is.
Daniel looks surprised by this. Sungwoon is simply suspicious.
“Who?” Sungwoon asks, disbelieving.
“Youngmin-hyung.”
To Jihoon’s utter annoyance, both his brother and his brother’s only-good-for-making-pancakes boyfriend look at each other and burst into simultaneous laughter.
“You take this one,” Daniel chortles.
“Jihoon,” Sungwoon says, amused. “You do realize that Youngmin has been dating Minhyun for the past two years now? I mean they’ve been together almost as long as Daniel and I have. I’m pretty sure Woojin knows that.”
“Oh,” Jihoon says. He wonders if Daehwi was right that time he told him that he really doesn’t take notice of people that aren’t Woojin. In his defense though, Youngmin and Minhyun are really subtle.
Daniel flashes him a bright smile and an encouraging thumbs up. “Go get your man.”
Sungwoon nods again and stands up, giving Jihoon a friendly clap on the shoulder. “Stop making assumptions and just talk to him, okay? It will probably be fine. And if, in the tiniest .0001% chance that he breaks your heart, I’ll hex him so hard he won’t be able to see straight for a week.”
“Okay. I will,” Jihoon agrees. Once he gets his head on straight anyway. This morning has given him a lot to think about. He does his best to paste on his most genuine and convincing smile. “Thank you. Both of you. I really… appreciate… everything.”
“Just stop it, you sound like you’re short-circuiting,” Sungwoon chuckles. “Give me bratty Jihoon or robot Jihoon or even mopey Jihoon, anything, but this.”
Jihoon shoves Sungwoon, hard. After all, he asked for it. Daniel’s peals of laughter echo in the room, loud enough to drown out both of their bickering that follows.
. ⊹ . ★ . ⊹ .
Jihoon washes up at Sungwoon’s place and changes into fresh pair of borrowed clothes since none of them have Woojin’s knack for cleaning spells. He hangs out for the rest of the morning, avoiding all his Woojin-related problems for a bit longer and firing up the playstation to game with Daniel until Sungwoon kicks them both out around noon because he has a practical exam he needs to study for. Grad students are always so finicky.
Jihoon walks aimlessly around campus for a bit, trying to figure out just what he’s going to say to Woojin. All he’s really pieced together so far is that he cares about him, in maybe more ways than he ever thought before, that kissing him was nice and he’d like to keep doing that, and that the very idea of Woojin prioritizing someone else above him makes his stomach turn because he wants to always be Woojin’s most important person, just as Woojin is his.
His legs start to tire after a while, and he stops at bench to take a seat. The crisp winter air feels cool and refreshing against his face. A shadow falls over him.
As it turns out, Woojin found him first.
He’s wearing a red jacket, his backpack slung casually over one shoulder, and his hair looks extra soft today. Jihoon can’t help but think he looks every bit the ideal college boyfriend right now.
“Yo,” Woojin greets. He sits down next to Jihoon and sets down his bag, turning to face him. “Are you avoiding me?”
“No,” Jihoon denies, “I’ve been busy. I went to visit my brother.”
“I know. I texted Sungwoon last night because you weren’t at your dorm and you weren’t answering any of mine.”
Jihoon scrubs a hand tiredly over his face. “Oh yeah, I left my phone at the dorm. It’s been less than 24 hours since you saw me though? There’s no reason to sound the alarms.”
Woojin gives Jihoon a shove, but it’s more playful than intended to hurt. “I was worried, asshole,” Woojin says, and then continues, quieter, almost abashed, “You’ve been at my side for the past three weeks and suddenly you go into hiding. Of course, I would be.”
“I thought you wanted space,” Jihoon mutters.
Woojin pulls a face. It’s pretty comical, but Jihoon refuses to grant him even a smile.
“No, why would you even think that?”
“Well, you were really eager to break the bond.”
“We both were,” Woojin replies, and Jihoon doesn’t point out that he’s not entirely correct.
“Forget about the bond then. You still ran off that night at the party and told me the next day to forget about the kiss even though I wanted—” Jihoon breaks off, unwilling to finish the thought. He sounds far more accusatory and vulnerable than he intended to, allowing more emotion to seep into his voice than he normally would. Then again, Woojin has always been the person best able to elicit an emotional reaction from him. “Of course I’m going to think you were upset. Or that you’ve grown tired of me.”
“Jihoon...” Woojin says softly, voice uncharacteristically serious. It’s unsettling.
“If you are, just tell me."
“I’m not either of those things,” Woojin says. He hesitates for a moment, searching for the right words before he continues, carefully, “I wanted to break the bond because I could see that my emotions were influencing your behavior. You started doing things, thinking things, you normally wouldn’t have and it was my fault.”
“What?” Jihoon responds, utterly floored. That doesn’t make any sense.
“You’re always telling me I feel too loudly. Like it’s somehow overwhelming for you.”
Jihoon frowns. “That’s just how you feel, I know you can’t control that. I only said those things when I was annoyed with you or had a headache or something.”
“It’s more than that though,” Woojin insists, shaking his head. He sighs, as though he’s about to say something he’s going to regret. “Look, you wouldn’t have kissed me if it wasn’t for the soul bond right? Because even though I tried so hard to hide them from you, my feelings for you bled through anyway, and you believed they were your own. That it was your idea.”
Now it’s Jihoon’s turn to be outraged, though at the same time he feels deeply relieved. So Woojin didn't reject him because he didn't want him, just because he's a self-sacrificing idiot.
“That’s not what happened at all. Park Woojin, do you really think I’m that dumb and emotionally repressed that I can’t recognize my own feelings?!” Never mind that it had taken Jihoon until this morning to figure out exactly how he felt.
Woojin shrugs. “Sorta?” he replies, but he’s laughing now, eyes scrunching up into crescent moons and snaggletooth in full view, as he curls his body away from Jihoon, anticipating the smack to follow. Jihoon doesn’t disappoint.
“Was that a confession I heard though?” Woojin sing-songs.
Jihoon glares at him. “Though I don’t know why I fell for you of all the idiots in the world, yes, it was,” he says, before continuing in a quieter tone, “you’re my person. I think you always have been.”
It feels good to finally say it out loud. And so completely right.
Woojin slings his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder, having deemed himself safe from further attacks. His toothy smile is more blinding than the sun.
“I didn’t think you’d ever reciprocate. I only hoped.”
Woojin pulls Jihoon closer, and Jihoon allows himself this moment of softness given the circumstances, melting into his side, head coming to rest upon Woojin’s shoulder.
“Me too,” Jihoon confesses.
They sit there for a while, in comfortable silence, before Jihoon speaks again.
“Is it weird that I kind of miss us being soulmates?”
“Just because we’re not bonded anymore, doesn’t mean we aren’t still soulmates,” Woojin reminds him. “Plus, I like it better this way. Leaves us more to talk about. And now I know that when you tell me how handsome I am or that you like me that it’s coming directly from you, not from the bond.”
Jihoon snorts at that last line. “Don’t get your hopes up,” he says, but then softens the blow by placing a short kiss, just a peck really, against Woojin’s cheek.
It embarrasses them both.
Woojin’s cheeks turn pink and he looks completely flustered. Jihoon feels even more so, for initiating such an uncharacteristically affectionate action, and buries his head into Woojin’s shoulder, trying to hide his burning face.
“Are sudden kisses going to become a thing now?” Woojin asks curiously. “Will we become one of those really disgusting PDA couples?”
“I’m never kissing you again if you don’t shut up,” Jihoon groans, and Woojin laughs once before he dutifully stops talking, the threat too real to ignore.
It’s funny, Jihoon thinks, that even though they’re not soul-bonded anymore, he feels just as close to Woojin, if not closer—more in tune—than he did anytime before. As though they really are meant to be together. In sync. Two halves of the same soul.
Jihoon lets the silence sit for a beat before he breaks it again.
“Hey Woojin?”
“Yeah?”
“I like you."
This time he doesn’t need a soul bond to tell him that Woojin feels just as happy as he does in that moment. He already knows.