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Hey, Zack.
Hope you’re well. Better than me, anyway.
I found some paper in this sad, soggy ruin of a village, so I thought I’d pass the time by writing to you. It’s cold and miserable here. The rain is relentless, and this night doesn’t want to end. The men are exhausted. I’ve sent them all to sleep, so of course that means I’ve been sitting here all night, standing guard. Long, tedious, and probably pointless. I think no one in all of Wutai would be stupid enough to spend even one second outside on a night like this. Just me, trying - and failing - to find some shelter under this half-burned roof, and a dozen soldiers, shivering under their regulation Shinra tents. Ah, the great Shinra corp. First in the world when it comes to building giant cannons, but a truly waterproof tent? That, clearly, is beyond the capacities of our most clever engineers.
So here I am, wet, bored, and to be honest, feeling pretty sorry for myself. So I thought I’d cheer myself up by telling you a story. Don’t worry, it’s a good one. Right up your alley. You don’t trust me? Let me just say one thing: it involves me, a certain crazy redhead I think you’re familiar with, and your favourite silver-haired general.
Oh, interested now, are you? It’s almost a shame you’ll never actually get a chance to read this. I couldn’t possibly send it, not with the number of people dying to get their slimy paws on a story like this. And especially that sorry excuse for a human being, Hojo. At least, this is one thing he won’t get from us. If he knew about this… he’d find some way to twist it, to make it tawdry and clinical and scientific and cold, the way he does with everything in Sephiroth’s life.
No, this is one of the rare things Hojo doesn’t know about Sephiroth. And I want it to stay this way. One moment Sephiroth won’t have to account for. A secret, maybe the only one he has in the overexposed life he leads.
And I know he still thinks about it, even though things have changed, now. Sometimes, I catch him smiling from the corner of my eye, and I smile back, knowing we’re thinking about the same thing.
That night. Even now, it warms me up, thinking about it. No, not like that! I mean, yes, it’s an incredibly sexy story. But it’s also… warm in a sappy, happy way I’m such you’d really enjoy. Ah, maybe one day I’ll get to tell you in person. But the way things are going, it seems increasingly unlikely. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever see you again. And as for Genesis...
But I’m starting to feel sorry for myself again and that really isn’t the point. I wanted to write a happy letter.
So let me start at the beginning. This happened quite a few years ago, now. Gen and I were probably around your age, maybe slightly younger. We were already together, by then, had just been made Second classes, and we were damn proud of ourselves.
And Genesis was absolutely obsessed with Sephiroth. I mean, not that that’s unusual. Half of Midgar, in my opinion, is at any given moment utterly obsessed with that man. He just has that effect on people. It’s the deadliness. Mixed in with those pretty eyelashes and that bored pout, it’s… quite something. The world’s most dangerous, most gorgeous kitten, as Genesis once put it.
Anyway, as always, people of all genders in and out of Shinra were throwing themselves at Sephiroth with absolutely no effect, like birds crashing into a window, and it was driving Genesis mad. We’d just begun training together, the three of us. Sephiroth was slowly starting to let his guard slip around us, just a little, starting to see us more like comrades than men to be commanded.
And he was also starting to let go when duelling against us, and that was a beautiful thing to see. We were merely training, of course, but he’d realised he could push us a little further than he could the other soldiers, and he was having fun. It was unmistakable. The mask would slip, and you’d see someone else. Someone alive, playful, behind his usual brooding. Someone young.
So Genesis - you know how he gets - made it his mission to push the mask away a little further. But it was tough. Sure, we found out some interesting stuff, like the fact you could make him laugh with a really bad joke, that he had this terribly mischievous side to him, that he enjoyed actively torturing Lazard during briefings with carefully timed yawns. But personal stuff… it was almost like he had no personal life.
Almost. That was what we thought, of course. We were far from imagining the truth: that he actually had absolutely no personal life.
We found out during a conversation that seemed completely unrelated at first. Genesis was complaining that Shinra wouldn’t pay for a new coat - his old one had acquired a rather unfortunate rip near the hem at the time. And of course, he had already spent his pay and mine on something or the other - red silk sheets, probably, now that I think of it. I have… fond memories of those sheets.
Anyway.
One thing led to another, and Genesis asked Sephiroth how much he was making. Fairly innocuous, right? After all, we were both Seconds, and Sephiroth was the only First at the time. It was a reasonable thing to ask. But it seemed to puzzle him deeply. There was an uncomfortable silence, and then the truth came out.
Nothing. Sephiroth made nothing. Didn’t have a gil to his name. Still doesn’t, as far as I know. Did you know that? He lived in the quarters Shinra made available to him, ate more or less what the men did, wore the clothes Shinra had designed specially for him, and that was it. The way he put it, his “upkeep” was higher than his pay would have been, so he simply wasn’t paid. At the time, we didn’t fully realise how much money Shinra was pouring into Sephiroth, of course.
You should have seen Genesis. He was absolutely outraged. There was little he liked more than spending his money. And mine as well, of course. So Genesis couldn’t wrap his head around the very idea of a life without pretty trinkets and expensive nights out.
I personally think Sephiroth didn’t care at all for the kind of luxuries Genesis enjoyed. He probably had quite enough of that with all those dinners and cocktail parties old man Shinra took him to. (At the time, you see, they liked to parade him in front of donors and investors. Good for business, you know. Until one day he had enough. Broke half of the 49th floor’s old bay window. They left him alone after that.)
As I was saying, Genesis absolutely hated the fact that Sephiroth had no money of his own, no possession that wasn’t actually owned by Shinra. Worse than that. Sephiroth had no time of his own, apart from when he slept. And even then, as we found out, he was held accountable. Hojo had everything monitored. If Sephiroth was found to have deviated from what they’d decided were optimal sleep patterns, they’d ask him why. Politely, of course. They were already pretty scared of him. Not as scared as they should have been, maybe.
So then Genesis embarked into a new mission. To, somehow, find a way to make Sephiroth have fun. Real fun. Some way to take him out of Shinra’s all-seeing eye. At the time, they kept a really tight leash on him. Drop him in on a mission, pick him up immediately. Rinse, repeat. No down time, no waste. Genesis wanted to find a way to get a few hours of away from Shinra flunkies, from headquarters, from briefings, from tests.
At least that’s what he said later. I only learnt about the plan after the trap had already been sprung. Apparently, I “can’t be trusted with anything that requires subtlety”. This, from a man whose plan involved a large amount of explosives.
It was a decent plan, though, I’ll give him that. The three of us had been dispatched to clean out a recently abandoned military base. Well, not abandoned, exactly. The personnel had been forced to evacuate rather hurriedly after the monsters who had previously called that particular system of caves their home unexpectedly decided that they wanted them back.
So it was fairly straightforward - get in, destroy all critters, leave. Except some of the aforementioned critters were very large, so we’d been given strict instructions to make very sure they didn’t leave. If necessary, we were to collapse the caves leading to the outside. And of course, very unadvisedly, they gave the explosives to Gen. And then they said that he’d have to be very, very careful with them, because if a certain set of tunnels came to collapse, we would be stuck inside the base for at least twelve to fifteen hours, before they could get the machines to dig us out.
And the granite of the caves would prevent any communication from getting in or out. In hindsight, telling him that may have been a mistake on their part.
I think you know where I’m going with this. We had barely finished clearing the base of a very angry dragon and her cubs, when Genesis dramatically dropped a small metal transmitter with a highly unconvincing “ooops”, immediately followed by a very large “bang”.
Sephiroth was annoyed. Angry, even, at first. Furious. But then Genesis started giggling, which rather spoiled the effect. He didn’t even bother pretending he hadn’t done this in purpose. And then he pointed out that that base wasn’t the worst place to spend a night.
Which was true. He’d done his homework. In fact, one of the least damaged rooms, a sort of small executive lounge, was quite nice. Big leather couches, a well-supplied bar, and lighting that still worked, even though it had a tendency to flicker. The monsters had had the decency to leave it mostly alone, apart from the odd claw marks here and there. And Genesis knew exactly where that particular room was, strangely enough.
So I made myself comfortable on one of the couches - conserving energy is always vital, after all - while Genesis poured us a drink. Sephiroth was still pacing angrily, checking his PHS to see whether it was coming back online, but his heart didn’t seem to be really in it.
Genesis and I waited, making a serious dent in the best bottle of whiskey while he left to check for other exits. As Gen said, it was probably better to let these things run their course.
Sephiroth was back less than half an hour later, in a distinct huff. I was, on the other hand, starting to feel pretty content. It was good whiskey.
“There’s no way out. We’re stuck here at least until morning. I hope you’re happy, Genesis.”
“Fairly, to be honest. You want a drink?” Gen answered, waving a glass in his direction.
“No, you ass!”
“And why the hell not? There’s nothing you can do. They’ll dig us out eventually. Meanwhile, we have drinks, good company, a comfortable place to sit. And no one to bother us, for once. No Shinra. No Lazard. No... Hojo. So why don’t you just sit down and enjoy yourself?”
He did sit down. He was trying his best to look pissed off, but you could tell he was amused, deep down.
“Is that why you did that? » he asked.
“Of course. Why else?” Genesis was in full charm mode. Utterly irresistible. To me, anyway. And it seemed to work on Sephiroth, too, because he finally accepted the drink.
After the second one, he was almost ready to concede it had been a good plan.
We talked, for a while. I let Genesis take the lead, since he looked like he had some idea where he wanted this to go. But to my surprise, he kept the conversation light. Playful, but not personal. I think I expected him to pull out a list of fifty highly indiscreet questions and start a full-blown interrogation, but no. Gen is much more clever than that.
The conversation drifted towards whiskeys, since we were all enjoying the drink. We were all well relaxed by then. It was late at night, now, maybe eleven or so. Sephiroth pointed out that if excellent whiskeys were what we were after, there was no need to dynamite half a mountain to get it. He could probably pressure the barmen at the bar back at headquarters to give him some of old man’s Shinra’s personal reserve. Once again, a pretty innocent remark.
But that’s when Genesis chose to pounce. “Ah, yes… but you see…” he said, “back at headquarters, I wouldn’t be able to do this, would I?”
In one smooth gesture - everything he does is smooth, isn’t it? - he climbed on to the couch and crawled towards me on all fours, like a wolf on the prowl. Then, very deliberately, he kissed me, angling his head slightly. He was making sure Sephiroth was getting a good show, the little tease. I let him. He pulled back, licking his lips.
Sephiroth didn’t bat an eyelid. Didn’t even miss a beat. “Oh,” he said, with that dry humour of his. “So, I guess that finally explains why you two share quarters, then.”
I think I actually laughed out loud.
But Genesis didn’t laugh. He was smiling - a little evilly, I thought. I think he had seen something in Sephiroth’s reaction I hadn’t. ”It doesn’t bother you?” Gen asked, an odd lilt in his voice.
Sephiroth shook his head curtly.
“I see. Then you don’t mind if we do it again?” Genesis was practically purring.
Slowly, he kissed me again, using every trick he knew to make it look really good. When it comes to playing to an audience, of course, you can trust Gen.
I kept my eyes on Sephiroth, and this time I saw it too. He was keeping his face perfectly neutral, but there was a slight flush on those pretty cheekbones of his. I saw him swallow, hard, his breathing accelerate ever so slightly.
Mako-enhanced senses can be fun, sometimes. You notice things.
I decided to put a little effort into it myself. I could tell Genesis wanted me to play along, and if there’s a way to resist Genesis when he’s made up his mind, I have yet to find it.
Also, I’m not made of wood. That… gleam in Sephiroth’s eyes was one of the sexiest things I’d ever seen. And, remember, I’ve seen Genesis Rhapsodos naked in every position imaginable to man.
And if we were going to give Sephiroth a show, we might as well make it a good one.
So I grabbed Genesis, to demonstrate to him - and to our audience, of course - what a good kiss really looked like. I think I did a reasonable job, because by the end Genesis was panting slightly, and Sephiroth… he looked kind of frozen, his glass halfway to his lips, and this time there was a slightly dazed expression on his face.
Our eyes met. I smirked. He drained his glass, put it down, leant back against the sofa slightly. His eyes seemed to glow like a cat’s in the shadow.
I took it as a sign he wouldn't mind if I went a little further. My eyes still on Sephiroth, I pulled Genesis into my lap, leaning him back against me, putting him on display. Slowly, I stroked his collarbone, then slid my hand into his shirt and one by one undid his shirt buttons. Slowly. Very slowly, in fact. Wanting our spectator to fully enjoy every inch of perfect skin I was revealing, every moan and gasp I elicited from my talented partner.
Genesis wasn’t letting me down in that department, by the way. I still remember the slight hiss he let out as I scratched his left nipple with one finger, idly, making it look like an afterthought. But then again, Genesis is always so wonderfully vocal about his appreciation.
Soon, I was running out of buttons. I paused, one hand still stroking the taunt skin of Genesis’ belly, the other on the waistband of his trousers, one finger - rather pointedly - on the first button of his fly.
“If you want me to stop…” I asked Sephiroth. He said nothing. I took it as a no. But let it be said to my credit that I asked.
I opened Genesis’s trousers, his cock straining to get out against the silk of his underwear. Fluid was already darkening the fabric at the tip - and to think I hadn’t even touched him there yet! - so I couldn’t resist spreading it a little, teasingly, taking my time. Genesis moaned a little at that, like the good boy he is.
And Sephiroth took a strangled breath that sounded almost, if I wasn’t mistaken, like a muffled echo of that moan.
I may have chuckled. I remember being pleased, at any rate.
I let finger play along Genesis’ still covered length, outlining its beautiful shape. I wanted Sephiroth to fully appreciate what I was about to show him.
Genesis has the most perfect cock. Now, this is definitely not something I could ever really tell you, of course, but since I’m just writing this for my own enjoyment, indulge me, will you? I feel like reminiscing. Like remembering the really good things in life, things that seem so distant now in this god-forsaken miserable dump of a place, with its endless rain and its smell of death.
Anyway.
Genesis has the most perfect cock, as I said. Smooth as the rest of him, lightly veined in a way I can only describe as elegant, if that’s possible. Slightly curved, like the stroke of a pen. Before I got to really know Gen, I had no idea a man’s cock could be that beautiful. Sexy, perhaps, yes, but then I had no idea a man could ever be such a living work of art.
So I took him out slowly, enjoying the slight narrowing of Sephiroth’s eyes as I closed my fingers around that gorgeous shaft and started stroking, not too fast, the way Genesis likes it, swiping my thumb across the tip with each stroke.
Sephiroth watched, utterly unreadable now, as Genesis writhed and moaned on my lap. And for a second, I worried that perhaps we’d misjudged this. That I’d pushed it too far.
But I had more pressing matters to attend to. A lapful of very turned-on Genesis that required my full attention. I concentrated on what I was doing, on making it good for Gen. I think he was still looking at Sephiroth, but I’m not sure. As I said, I was busy.
Anyway, after an uncharacteristically short time, I must says, Genesis tensed in my arms, let out that shocked little sigh he always does, and came, rather explosively. I was taken a bit by surprise, so I didn’t catch any of it.
And I saw, almost as in slow motion, a drop of Genesis’s come fall on Sephiroth’s hand. Well, on his glove. It might have been less noticeable on his hand.
There was a few seconds of silence. I don’t think either Gen or I breathed. I felt a little more than worried then, to be honest. I felt afraid.
And then Sephiroth raised his hand, looked at it curiously, as if intrigued, and, with a catlike flick of his tongue, licked off the small white drop.
Genesis and I still hadn’t remembered how to breathe, at that point, but Gen managed a kind of strangled “grrk?” I didn’t think I would have been able to match his eloquence, so I said nothing. But I have to say that that sure, I was pretty turned on by then, but that alone almost made me come in my pants right there.
And then Sephiroth looked back up at us, with a flicker of doubt in his eyes.
“Sorry.” He said. “ Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that?”
“Grrk…” repeated Genesis, rather uselessly, I thought. That meant I had to say something, and my tongue seemed to be stuck to my palate.
“No. Yes, I mean. No, you absolutely should have done that,” I managed. Not my most coherent sentence, but I think Sephiroth read the tone rather than the words, because he visibly relaxed.
And then he smiled. And that was a smile I knew very well, from countless training fights. His “you thought you were being clever, but I won” smile. The bastard was enjoying the fact he’d, somehow, managed to shock us.
Mind you, I don’t actually think he actually meant to. But he was enjoying the result.
And I couldn’t let him win. Not that easily. Not when I had an ace up my sleeve.
“Genesis…” I said, as sweetly as I could, “I think perhaps Sephiroth is more open to… experimentation than we thought.” I was only teasing, of course. I think this time, I definitely would have stopped there, if that slightly curious light in his eyes hadn’t been there. “That… scenario you were talking about last week or so, you remember?”
Genesis swallowed. “Vividly,” he said. That seemed to have restored his powers of speech.
He grabbed a napkin, cleaned himself off and made himself relatively - relatively - decent.
“Do you mind telling Sephiroth what it was, dearest one?” A little bit of revenge on my part, there. Genesis really could have given me some warning about his plan.
But I underestimated Gen if I thought he’d have trouble articulating it out loud.
“I said… that the sexiest thing I could imagine…” he paused, on purpose, I think, savouring it, “...was going down on him while you fucked me from behind.”
Sephiroth visibly flinched. “Oh.” he said in a small voice. There was a pause. He frowned, looked away. “I don’t think you really want me to… get involved.”
“And… why not?”
“ I…” Sephiroth bit his lip, which, for a second, made him look positively cute. “I.. don’t think I can… contribute. I wouldn’t really know how.”
“Know how to do what, get a blow job? It really doesn’t require that much technique, you know?” Genesis was starting to sound positively predatory. But, if you can imagine that, with a hint of tenderness behind his words. A kindness.
“I don’t think I’d know what to do,” said Sephiroth in a soft, almost defensive voice.
“Don’t worry.” Gen knelt at his feet, stroking his knee gently. Nothing more. “Just… relax. You don’t have to do anything. And if I do - if we do anything you don’t like, just tell us to stop, and we will.”
“I don’t even know if… I can. If my body would react normally.” It came in a single breath, like something was pulling it out of him.
Genesis didn’t miss a beat. Didn’t ask any questions. Didn’t start raging, as I would have done, as I wanted to do, at how unfair it was that this man, this boy, really, had been so fucked up by Shinra that he wasn’t even sure his body was able to feel the most primal of pleasures.
No, Genesis just looked up at him, smiled, and said: “Well, don’t you want to find out ?”
See, this is why I love him. This is why I’ll always love him, no matter what happens. No matter what he becomes.
Anyway.
Sephiroth still looked unsure, so Genesis took it slow. Nuzzled his leg gently, slowly riding up his thigh, all the way up to the not unnoticeable bulge at his crotch. Some things, at least, seemed to be working fine. I was pretty curious, to be honest, and I would have loved to have joined Genesis in slowly exploring what those leather trousers held, but I didn’t want to overwhelm Sephiroth. This seemed new enough for him. One pair of hands was enough, for now.
So I watched, as Genesis’ deft fingers carefully kneaded those powerful thigh muscles, then placed a hand on Sephiroth’s crotch, almost questioningly, waiting for a sign of assent before moving forward. There was a tension in the air. I think I actually stopped breathing when Genesis, loop by loop, undid those laced up trousers Sephiroth always wears.
My view was rather blocked, so all I saw was Genesis dip his head, and Sephiroth’s eyes go wide, suddenly. I found out later, of course, what every part of his body looked like. But not then. That wasn’t the point. It wasn’t about satisfying my curiosity, or my pleasure, or even Genesis’ anymore. It had become much more than that.
Sephiroth entwined his fingers in Genesis’ hair, almost as though he wanted, for a second, to pull him off him, but he didn’t. He threw his head back, eyes closed, holding on to Gen’s hair for dear life.
I could sympathise. Gen has a golden mouth in more ways that one.
Besides, I was still enjoying the view, limited though it was. Sephiroth’s face, in that moment, was a thing of beauty. So absorbing it actually took Genesis stopping and asking me quite directly “if I would kindly, if I didn’t mind, get my head out of my ass and fuck him” to remind me of the part I was supposed to play in all this.
Still, believe me, I was happy to oblige. It didn’t take me long to undress Gen, or get him ready, and soon I was sliding into the slick heat of him, timing my thrusts with his movements. Genesis, who, with the arrogant ease of youth, was already getting hard again. I gave him my full attention for a while. He deserved it.
Then I looked up, and met Sephiroth’s eyes. He was staring at me, face slightly flushed, lips parted. Then he raised one of his hands to his mouth, biting the leather of his glove, and I saw a long shudder go through him, as he let out a strangled moan.
I’m not ashamed to say that made me come. Fortunately, Gen did as well, almost immediately. Fortunately for me, I mean. He doesn’t appreciate it when I finish before him.
I pulled out of Gen, cleaned things up a bit, and moved up to see how he was doing.
He wasn’t looking at me. He was still kneeling at Sephiroth(s feet, looking up at him with an expression of absolute awe. Sephiroth was leaning back, covering his eyes with the back of his hand. And between his fingers, on his cheek, the one thing I would never have expected to see.
Tears.
I swear I saw with my own eyes the moment Genesis’ heart actually physically melted. He jumped up and threw himself around Sephiroth, pulling him close, whispering soft, reassuring nonsense to him. I joined him. I was feeling pretty emotional myself, to be honest. Genesis was stroking Sephiroth’s hair. I held him. He put his head on my shoulder. I wondered if he’d ever let anyone hold him, ever.
And he cried.
And it was beautiful.
And that’s it. End of story.
Curtains.
I can imagine you from here, jumping up and down, demanding to know more… Well. Who knows. There may be even worse nights ahead. So I might as well save some things for later.
Daylight’s coming up, anyway. And it’s almost time to go wake those poor, unlucky troops.
So I’m going to go throw this letter in the fire.
It's a shame. I wish I could have actually told you this story. You probably would have cried as well, you emotional little puppy.
I hope things go better for you than they’re going for us. See you soon.
Angeal