Chapter Text
"There has been a Awakening."
Caedus Ren looked up at the giant hologram of his Master. He had been called to speak with his Master, along with General Hux, not too long ago to discuss the failed attempt of capturing the Resistance droid and Ben Solo. General Hux was quick to try and curry his Master's favour in suggesting that now is the time to reveal their latest weapon and take out the New Republic. Snoke dismissed him to go and oversee the preparations. Ren didn't hate Hux, but he certainly found him annoying; the ginger-haired General was always seeking his Masters attention in trying prove he was better than Caedus. The Sith Apprentice didn't think too much about it, while the General was useful to the Supreme Leader, and his loyalty unwavering, the General would never surpass Ren.
"Have you felt it?" his Master asked.
"Yes." Of course he felt it. Such a disturbance couldn't have been missed.
"There's something more." Snoke regarded him with cold eyes. "Ben Solo has reconnected with the Force, and is now aboard the Millennium Falcon with the droid we seek, in the hands of Han Solo."
Dank Farrik. His day just got better and better. He received the report of what happened on Jakku from Lieutenant Mitaka who informed him that Solo and the droid escaped on a YT-freighter, but he didn't expect that freighter to be the Millennium Falcon. And to make things worse, Ben Solo was reunited with his Father. If things continued the way it was going they would never retrieve the map or Ben Solo.
He didn't worry about Han Solo though, Ren and Snoke had spent years drilling into Ben's head that his parents didn't care for him; that they would never come for him. He gleefully remembered the days when he manipulated Ben's feelings and caused the divide between him and his family to become even greater. His Master had relied on those circumstances to try a seduce Ben Solo to Dark Side, and it almost worked.
"Even you, Master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a challenge."
"Do not worry Master." Ren replied. "By the grace of your training, I will retrieve the map and return Ben Solo to his rightful place."
Snoke regarded his apprentice with dark eyes. He always considered Caedus' attachment to Ben Solo as a possible weakness. At first, he used it to his advantage to help Ren's fall to the Dark Side, and it was beneficial that this aided in possessing the nephew of Skywalker. But now, it was becoming somewhat of a hindrance. If it came to choosing between the map and Solo, Caedus would always pick Solo. While it would be a shame to lose a potential apprentice; locating Skywalker took precedence. His apprentice should know where his loyalties lie. The best way for his apprentice to learn is through experience. He must learn his actions have consequences.
"We shall see." Snoke murmured. "We shall see."
With that, the hologram faded, leaving Caedus Ren in the darkness of the room before he left to prepare for his mission.
Ben grunted as he cleaned around the blaster wound on his leg. The wound wasn't that deep, but it still stung and would make him walk with a slight limp for the next few days. Sphero chirped in worry next to him as he watched his friend wince in pain and rolled over to snag a couple of bacta patches from the medical kit and returned to Ben. Everything around him was in chaos. Alarms blared from the cockpit where Han and Rey were scrambling to find and fix the problems that just kept piling up. Chewie was lying back in an alcove tightly grasping the would on his arm, roaring in pain and fear as Finn bravely tried to treat the wound on the Wookie.
"Come on, Chewie!" he grunted. "I need help with this giant hairy thing!"
BB-8 rolled over to assist Finn but quickly sped away when the Wookie roared in anger at BB, causing the orange and white droid to flee to the cockpit.
"You hurt Chewie, you're gonna deal with me!" Han called from the cockpit.
"Hurt him?" Finn scoffed. "He almost killed me six times!"
Chewie grabbed him the throat and pulled him forward. "Which is fine." he choked out.
Ben snorted in amusement as he witnessed the scene, although his attention was directed to Sphero who beeped insistently beside him, still holding the bacta patches. Ben let out a rare smile, gazing fondly at the droid. Sphero was someone he could always rely on. A lot of people in the galaxy didn't think droids could be capable of sentience; Ben wasn't one of those people. Droids had been a constant in his childhood, taking care of his physical and educational needs, they were more of parents to him than his actual parents. Despite that, Ben didn't have the same bond with them like he had with Sphero. They had been through a lot together and understood each other in a way no one else ever would. Cared for one another. Ben doubted he'd be here if Sphero wasn't.
He took the bacta patches from the black droid, whispering his gratitude, peeled the coverings off and began to apply them over his leg wound, feeling instant relief as the bacta began to heal the burn and knit his skin back together.
All of a sudden, the alarms from the cockpit stopped and the ship was cruising through hyperspace in a steady glide. "Huh," Ben thought. "Must've bypassed the compressor."
"Move, ball." His Father's voice resonated from the cockpits entrance. He looked up as Han stepped into the main hold walked over to Chewie, whose wound was now treated. The Wookie let out a few apologetic grunts as the old smuggler checked his friend over.
"Ah, don't say that." Han consoled. "You did great. Just rest." He then wandered over to Finn and thanked the man; Finn accepted the thanks and placed his crossed arms on the table, accidentally pressing the button that activated the holo-chess.
Han then looked over to Ben, glancing down at the patched up blaster burn on his leg. "You alright?" he asked.
Ben regarded him reservedly. "I'll live." he muttered. He then turned away from his father, and didn't miss the look of hurt that formed on the old mans face; he found that he was completely apathetic to it. Sphero lightly nudged against his leg to offer some comfort which Ben appreciated.
"So...fugitives, huh?" Han started as Rey walked into the room.
"The First Order wants the map." she listed. "Finn is with the Resistance. I'm just a scavenger." She gestured over to Ben. "The First Order also wants him for some reason."
Han knew better than to try and get Ben to talk, as much as he wanted an explanation of where he's been all these years and what happened, the smuggler knew his son would not be forthcoming in telling the story, especially around so many people. So, instead he gestured to BB-8. "Lets see what you got."
After a kind encouragement from Rey, BB rolled to the centre of the room and projected a blue hologram of a map containing different planets and stars that were unfamiliar to all of them.
"This maps not complete. It's just a piece." Han stated to everyone. "Ever since Luke disappeared people have been looking for him."
"Why did he leave?" Rey asked.
Han sent a cautious glance at Ben, biting his lips nervously, he'd have to speak carefully. "He was training a new generation of Jedi. One boy, an apprentice, turned on him. Destroyed it all. Luke felt responsible. He just walked away from everything."
"Do you know happened to him?" Finn enquired.
"A lot of rumours. Stories," The smuggler answered. "People who knew him best...think he went looking for first Jedi temple."
As Ben listened to his Father explain, he couldn't help but feel abandoned all over again. If what Han said was true, and Luke had run off in search of something else, did that mean Luke didn't search for him when the First Order took him?
Rey's next question cut through his thoughts. "The Jedi were real?"
"Used to wonder about that myself. Thought it was bunch of mumbo-jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil, the dark side and the light. Crazy thing is..." Han turned to face Rey and Finn. "It's true. The Force. The Jedi... all of it. It's all true."
Suddenly, a loud growl resonated through the air.
Everyone turned towards Finn, who had his arms curled around his stomach and an embarrassed expression on his face. Ben couldn't blame the guy. Outrunning from the First Order, Rathtar's and gang members can really work up an appetite.
Han let out a soft apologetic chuckle. "Sorry kid. Can't help you there. All our supplies were left on the Ervana."
Chewie let out a whine after hearing that; apparently Finn wasn't the only one hungry. Rey dug through one of the pouches on her belt and pulled out a small package. It was the half-portion she got from Unkar Plutt earlier before the First Order attack. "I've got a portion, but I don't have water for the bread," she said hesitantly. "And I don't recall seeing a stove on the ship." She also only had one portion.
Solo rubbed his face with his hand and let out a tired sigh. "I've set a course for Takodana. It'll be a couple of hours before we make it there. Think you guys can hang on 'til then?"
As Scavengers, Ben and Rey were used to hunger. They job was digging through the wrecks of Star Destroyers for reusable parts all day in the heat, only to be lucky to get paid one full portion for all the parts. Rey usually only got one portion from Unkar Plutt, no matter how many parts she scavenged. Ben liked to get as many portions he could threaten out of the Blobfish and ration them- having one a day. Hunger was something they had to live with, and it wasn't uncommon to go to bed on an empty stomach.
Ben didn't know Finn, but he definitely wasn't Resistance. If he was, he would've been a lot more keen to deliver the map; Rey seemed to be doing the job for him. But something about the man just screamed soldier. From the way he walked and fought, and his knowledge of past battles and major happenings told Ben that Finn was disciplined, which meant he stuck to a schedule of three meals a days. He probably wasn't used to the hunger like Ben and Rey were.
With a huff, Ben decided to take pity and whipped out the fifteen portion packets and water canisters from his satchel -that was miraculously still on his shoulder- and placed them on the holo-chess table. Rey went bug-eyed when she saw the portions and water.
"How'd you get that many?" she asked incredulously. "Plutt would never give out this much."
Ben just shrugged. "I can be very persuasive."
With that he got up and went in search of something to make the bread in.
Han rubbed his eyes as he kept an eye on the controls in the cockpit. He was starting to get too old for for this kind of stuff. He had volunteered to watch the console while they flew through hyperspace, just in case any of the instruments weren't working. But really he just needed time to think to himself. It had been two hours since all of them had eaten. After his son pulled out the portions, he managed to find a clean enough bowl from the mess and began making and handing out polystarch bread. How Ben managed to survive on Jakku eating nothing but those dry and bland rations was beyond his comprehension.
Ben.
Just thinking about him made his heart ache. He was still having trouble believing that his son, lost for the past fifteen years, was on his ship. He had so many questions he wants answered about his disappearance. The last he heard about his son was when he got word that Luke's Jedi Academy on Yavin IV was destroyed and the students killed. Luke had been able to contact them that same night to inform them of Ben's abduction. A student had betrayed Luke, fallen to the dark side of the force, and took Ben as a prisoner of the First Order. Han didn't know the student, Luke never said his name, but if he ever met the bastard he was going to make him wish he never met Han Solo.
He wondered how Leia would react when she saw Ben. After the attack on the Jedi Academy she could no longer feel Ben through the Force. She refused to believe Ben was dead though. Everyday she meditated in her free time to search for their son; it hurt to see her so distressed and desperate. Eventually she had to stop meditating and focus on running the Resistance full-time as the First Order began reining terror on the galaxy, and there was always the chance that they might some information on where Ben was.
But after weeks turned into months and turned into years without any sign of Ben, the situation with the First Order grew worse and searching for Ben was no longer the highest priority. It just about killed them both when Han and Leia had to accept that. That was the reason why they had split up. The decision not to prioritise their son's search caused the rift between them grow larger, their arguments turned more explosive and eventually just being in the same room was too much for each other. So, Han left for the stars and Leia stayed with the Resistance.
Han sighed, determining that a sufficient amount of time had passed to gather up his courage, and stood up and walked out of the cockpit. He headed into the Main Hold where he found Chewie, Rey, Finn and BB-8 around the holo-chess table. The holo-chess was turned on and the growls of the creatures were audible, Chewie sat on one side, Finn sat on the other while Rey was sitting between the two and the orange and white droid looking on from next to Finn. The Wookie was pointing at the holographic figures and growled in explanation on what each creature did, with Rey translating, to Finn who watched and listened intently.
His son wasn't in the room though, neither was the First Order droid that followed him around or the BB-8 droid. Han walked out of the Main Hold and directed himself to the crew quarters to see if Ben was resting in there, however as he reached the quarters he heard a light clanging sound coming from the nearby engineering bay. Keeping his footsteps light, Han carefully ambled over to the entryway of the engineering bay and peeked around the corner. Ben was sitting on the floor in front of the black BB-unit, who had powered down, with a tool in his hand, scraping in between the grooves of the droids body. It made Han smile to see his son's care for droids hadn't changed over the years.
"You gonna come in or just stand there?" Ben called out.
Damn Force magic. There goes the greeting he planned out. Awkwardly rubbing his neck, the old smuggler shuffled in the room. This was the first time in twenty-three years that the two of them were alone in the same room. Not including the droid. Feeling stupid by just standing in the middle of the engineering bay, Han braved the aches in his back and got down and took a seat on the floor next to Ben.
The atmosphere couldn't have been more tense.
The dark-haired scavenger tried to dismiss his Father and keep cleaning out Sphero's grooves, but the emotions that Han was projecting were too strong to ignore. "If you want to ask something just ask it." he blurted.
Han's eyes went wide and he fumbled with his words. "W-well, umm..." he sputtered. "How have you been?"
Ben sharply turned his head to face his father. "Twenty-three years since we last saw each other, and that's what you ask?"
"No! Just..." When it came to talking with his son, he never seemed to know what to say and when he did say something it always turned out to be wrong. Han took a deep breath, he knew this wasn't going to be easy. He just had to take it step by step. "I'm just trying to help."
His son scoffed. "When did that ever work? And don't say the Death Star."
Han groaned in frustration. "What do you want me to say, then?"
"Honestly, I don't want you to say anything." Ben dismissed his Father and turned his attention back to cleaning out the grooves on Sphero.
Han rubbed his face tiredly. It was times like this he wished Leia was here. He couldn't blame his son giving him the cold shoulder, but it still hurt. He was man enough to admit that he and Leia made a lot of mistakes when it came to raising Ben. A lot choices they made they soon came to regret; especially after they sent him away to the academy. If they had known what would happen they never would have sent him there, despite their limited knowledge in the Force they would've tried harder to be better parents. They should have.
The old smuggler thought a change in topic might make things go smoother. He gestured to the droid. "Still haven't explained how you have a First Order droid."
Ben paused, seeming to consider if he should answer or not. After a few long seconds, he emitted a defeated sigh. "His name's Sphero, he helped me escape. He was assigned to a ship called the Supremacy, and one of his duties was to bring food to my cell. Because the First Order had a very dim view on droids, he developed a rather cold personality and wanted nothing to do with me. However, I kept trying to gain his trust and convince him to help me. Problem was, was that he would be subjected to regular memory wipes, and forget all of our meetings and conversations. But, every-time this happened, I learned how to get his trust back again quicker.
"Eventually, there came a day when I was able to become friends with him before his next memory wipe. I convinced him to fake a memory wipe and start putting the pieces of an escape plan together. I was able to fiddle around with his programming and removed any unnecessary First Order software. He managed to smuggle an officers uniform into my cell and move around the ships roster. We snuck into a tie-fighter and escaped. Crash-landed on Jakku, and been together ever since."
A fond look spread over Ben's face. "If it wasn't for him, I doubt I'd be here. I owe him my life."
Han believes he owes the droid a great big 'Thank you' for helping his son escape those monsters. When he first saw the droid, he wanted to tear the thing apart piece by piece. He didn't trust the droid that bore the markings of the First Order; it was a constant reminder of all he had lost because of them. He was still suspicious of it when it followed Ben around, wanting to be by his side. But after he saw the way it protected and helped Ben with the Gang Member, he knew there was more to the story. Han was glad his son explained the droid, it gave him a sense of relief in knowing that the First Order couldn't find him through the droid.
"But that's not all you want to know, is it?" Ben's voice cut through his thoughts.
He would never get used to all that Force stuff.
"I can sense your curiosity. You want to know what happened to me. On the night I was taken, and when I was their prisoner." Ben looked at him straight in the eye. "You want to know what happened to my arm."
Han could only look back at his son in silence. He admits he wants to know how Ben lost his arm. Did he lose it while on Jakku? Or was it the First Order?
"They took it." Ben's voice was void of emotion. "They tortured me, as a way to make me turn to the Dark Side. They beat me. Starved me. Tried to make me embrace the pain for three years. Over and over, they broke my arm and fingers with their 'training'. They damaged it so much it would never have healed properly again. And it was decided that it was useless, and had no need of it anymore. So they took it. And when they took it, I screamed through the Force. I tried so hard to reach someone, anyone; I wanted someone to find me, to save me. But no one did.
"It was then I realised, I couldn't wait for someone to save me. If I couldn't rely on my family to find me, who could I rely on? Don't know why it came as a shock to me."
Han was trying his best not to breakdown. He wanted to grab his son and beg for his forgiveness. For three years Ben endured unspeakable torture, and where was he? Gallivanting around the galaxy, getting into trouble to avoid his responsibilities. He knew Ben wasn't telling the entire story, he was leaving out certain parts that he deemed unnecessary for his father to know. The old smuggler felt a tear rolled down his cheek.
"Ben, I..." he shakily whispered, but he found himself unable to say more.
His son had no such qualms. "Ben Solo died on that ship. I'm just his shell. The boy you thought you knew is gone." Ben's gaze was unyielding. "Your son is dead."
With that, Ben entirely dismissed him. Han stared at his son for a few more seconds, shame filling his aching heart. He wanted to argue, he wanted to insist that his son was still alive. But, as he turned over the information he just received in head, he found he couldn't come up with good enough points to make his case. Instead, he averted his eyes away and stood up. He made his way to leave the engineering bay and couldn't resist lingering by the doorway to look back at his son. The son who went through so much pain, who should've had his family by his side. Han had never wanted to feel like this again. Yet he did.
He felt as if he lost Ben all over again. In more ways than one.