Work Text:
After months of living together, Costis has become an expert in spotting Kamet’s moods. For example, if Kamet returned from the temple grumbling and muttering, interspersed with cussing in a foreign language, then that meant one of the scholars have done something he deemed exceedingly idiotic.
Today was one of those days.
“What is it?” Costis asked.
“It’s Aelius,” Kamet answered in a grumble. “That idiot thought it would be good to adapt a poem into narrative prose.”
“I don’t understand.”
Kamet huffed. “Well, let me show it to you. My translation of the first tablet, the one where Immakuk met Ennikar, would go like this.”
—
i. Or, that time when Ennikar saved Immakuk’s soul
Surpassing all other kings
Noble Immakuk
Ruler of Ianna-Ir
Was not always wise
Once he was a cruel tyrant
Harrying maidens and young men alike
Bleeding his people dry
His citizens pleaded to the gods
Stop him
They prayed
For only the gods can stop Immakuk
He of the great strength.
Utar the Radiant heard them
But he could do nothing
For Immakuk was his grandson,
Beloved son of his own beloved son
Bunda
Who was called the Shepherd
Ruled Ianna-Ir for a thousand years
Utar gave Immakuk strength
Hoping that he would follow his father
Become a wise king
The gods could not take away their blessing.
Utar called upon his twin sister
Anet who ruled the heavens
Said to her
‘O sister help your errant nephew
Rid him of his arrogance
Show him the correct path
Make him be a just king.’
Wise Anet heard her brother’s pleas
Fashioned a man out of water and clay
He who would be called Ennikar,
Noble Immakuk’s great opponent
Great companion
She blessed Ennikar with a kind heart
Gave him to Eninsha
Mother of All Beasts.
Wild Eninsha gave him her name
Raised him among her many children.
Brave Ennikar suckled from cows
Played with bear-cubs
Hunted with the wolves.
Became strong stronger than any man
When he had grown
Enisha told him to leave
Live amongst men
But stubborn Ennikar refused
Could not part from his brothers
The beasts
Wise Eanna sent to him her finest priestess
Ylissa the beautiful
For seven days and seven nights they lay together.
For seven days and seven nights they make love
Ylissa taught wild Ennikar of the ways of men
Taught him of civilization
Until the seventh day
Ennikar wanted to return to his brothers
But found he could not
All beasts fled from him
Who smelled of men
Ennikar followed Ylissa to the great city
Ianna-Ir
Where noble Immakuk reigned
They found desolation
Found weeping maidens thwarted lovers
Found stooped men distraught mothers.
Kind Ennikar asked them why they cried
‘Is this not the great city Ianna-Ir?’
Answered
‘It is our king O traveller
Great Immakuk king of kings
A tyrant
His cruelties and arrogance knows no bounds
Cares not for his people
Cares not for his slaves
Sits alone high in his throne
None could challenge him
Blessed by the gods.’
Brave Ennikar Kind Ennikar
Found his heart stoked by fury
Said he
‘I shall find this Immakuk
Fight him
For I was raised by Eninsha
And fear no man.’
Ennikar marched to Immakuk’s palace
Announced that he wanted to fight Immakuk
Would not leave until his defeat or his win
Great Immakuk rose from his throne and bellowed
‘Who dared to challenge me
The Shepherd’s son?’
Brave Ennikar answered
‘It is me
He who is called Ennikar
I fear no man for I have been raised by beasts
And has the power of the wilds in me.’
‘Very well,’ noble Immakuk declared
‘I accept your challenge, but be warned
For I have been blessed by my grandsire
Utar the Radiant
Immense strength and boundless energy.’
So Immakuk shed his robe
So Ennikar raised his guard
And they fought for seven days and seven nights
They fought
Destroying the palace
They fought
Uprooting roads and homes.
Immakuk was awed for no man has ever matched him in skill
‘Strong Ennikar,’ said he
‘Who are you and why have you come here?’
Brave Ennikar answered, ‘I am Ennikar
He who was given to Eninsha
Mother of All Beasts
You Immakuk tyrant of tyrants
May have a shining pedigree
But your heart is black as the night
You pay no heed to your people’s sufferings and
So I am here to teach you about humility
And defeat you once and for all.’
Noble Immakuk laughed and the earth shook
‘I rule Ianna-Ir like my father before me
I rule Ianna-Ir by the grace of my grandsire
I rule Ianna-Ir the city of my aunt Anet
She who rules the sky
Who are you wild Ennikar to teach me about humility?’
Ennikar answered
‘Even the strongest wolf
Would have to leave if his pack did not welcome him
A king rules by divine grace and the will of his people
I have heard the will of your people
They cry because of your cruelty
They are helpless in the face of your depravity.’
Like a bolt of lightning Ennikar’s words
Struck Immakuk to the core he cried
‘O great Ennikar
Is it true that I have been mistreating my people?
I had not thought that I treated them
Any different than any other ruler I only take my due
Only take what’s mine by right
Teach me O kind Ennikar
He who has the ear of the people
How to be a wise ruler.’
They kissed each other and formed a friendship
Ennikar ruled by Immakuk’s side and Ianna-Ir prospered
Surpassing even the age of the Shepherd.
—
“A king that rules by the will of the people? Revolutionary.”
Kamet rolled his eyes. “Yes, but that’s not the point, Costis. The point is the tablets are in the form of poems and they should stay that way. Compare this to Aelius’s awful translation. Here is his work on the Bull of Heaven episode.”
—
ii. Or, that time when Immakuk saved Ennikar from a jealous goddess
After the defeat of Huwaba the Terrible, Immakuk and Ennikar’s name became more known in the world. Everyone lauded him as the strongest, greatest, bravest man on earth. Tales of his prowess reached up to the heavens, where the great goddess Eanna lived. Eanna’s interest was piqued. She was looking for a husband, and who would be a better husband than Immakuk, King of Ianna-Ir and Utar’s own grandson?
So the goddess donned her best garments and descended to earth. She disguised herself as an ordinary slave-girl and sneaked to the palace of Ianna-Ir. There, she saw Immakuk fresh from a bath, radiant in his beauty. Eanna was struck with longing at his handsomeness and quickly shed her disguise. In all her divine glory, she presented herself to Immakuk.
“Great Immakuk, king of kings, come and be my bridegroom!” said Eanna. “Be my husband and I shall be your wife. Grant me your fruits and I shall grant you my spoils. Our chariot will be blue with lapis lazuli and shining with gold. Our house will forever be perfumed with the sweet scent of cedars and myrtles. Kings from the world over shall kneel before you, the mountains themselves will bow before you! Your animals will multiply and your city will prosper. You shall forever be known as Immakuk, he who was wed to the Queen of the Sky.”
Immakuk looked at Eanna with scorn.
“No, I thank you,” he replied. “I do not love you, for I already have my Ennikar and need not another.”
“Ennikar?” the goddess Eanna pronounced the name with ill-concealed fury. “Who is this Ennikar you speak of? That wild brat Eninsha raised? He who spent his childhood sleeping with wolves? He who spent his infancy suckling from cows? You prefer him over me, ruler of the sky, daughter of Annu and Anet?”
“Yes,” Immakuk said firmly. “For he has what you lack: kindness and a warm heart. I know about your lovers, Eanna. I know the fate that befalls them when you are bored of them—and you will be bored of them, sooner rather than later. Sweet Tammuz, whom you gave up to the underworld in exchange for your own freedom. Your father’s gardener refused your advances and you cursed him to be a dwarf. I know all about them, Eanna.”
Eanna heard Immakuk’s words and went home to the heavens in anger. If she could not have Immakuk, no one could—least of all some stinky clay-brat. So she sent for her brother, fleet-footed Nabu, the god of tricksters and thieves.
“Dear brother,” Eanna said. “I’ve come to you for aid. Immakuk, son of Banda, has insulted me gravely. He has called me horrible names and spread lies. I want you to steal his beloved Ennikar as a punishment.”
“But sister,” said Nabu. “Everything Immakuk said was true. Why must he be punished?”
“If you do not want to do my bidding, Nabu, I shall tell the gods everything you have stolen from them. I shall tell Cassa it was you who stole one of her hives. I shall tell Lugash it was you who stole her cow. I shall tell Utar it was you who stole his rays.”
At last, Nabu agreed to do what Eanna asked. When night fell he sneaked into the Palace of Ianna-Ir and found Ennikar and Immakuk asleep together. Swift-footed Nabu quietly carried Ennikar away to the heavens, where Eanna was waiting with a golden cage. She bound Ennikar to the cage, and set the Bull of Heaven to guard him.
When Immakuk woke, he found his beloved gone. He cried and searched for Ennikar for three days and three nights. He asked everyone in the palace, from the highest viziers to the lowliest boot-boys, but no-one knew where Ennikar was gone.
In his desolation, Immakuk abandoned his kingly work and spent most of his time in the palace gardens, Ennikar’s favourite place. After three days and three nights, a myrtle took pity on him. It spoke to Immakuk:
“I saw your friend. I saw him taken away at night by Nabu the Thief, who carried him up to the heavens, to her sister’s abode.”
Immakuk raged when he heard this. He knew Nabu acted by orders of Eanna. He knew Eanna kidnapped Ennikar because she was jealous, because Ennikar had his love and she did not. But he would not let her win. He would take Ennikar back, for he was Immakuk, slayer of Huwaba.
So Immakuk went to the forge. He made spears and dirks, swords and shields, daggers and pikes, for one had to be prepared when challenging the heavens. After he had gathered enough weapons, he went to the great temple of Anet and lighted an incense.
“O great Anet,” he cried. “I have come to you in supplication. Your daughter Eanna is angry that I rejected her advances and has induced her brother Nabu to steal Ennikar from me. I have come to ask for your aid to bring Ennikar back.”
“Immakuk,” Anet said. “You are a wise, noble ruler and I am fond of Ennikar. I shall help you in your quest. I shall make sure that your weapons strike whatever it is that my errant daughter has in store for you. Go forth, noble Immakuk. You have my blessings.”
With Anet’s approval, Immakuk went up to the heavens. The winds were strong and mighty, but Anet calmed them. Rain clouds clouded Immakuk’s vision, so Anet moved them. Until at last Immakuk arrived at Eanna’s rosy palace.
Guards made out of storm-clouds guarded the entrance, but they were no match for Immakuk. He found himself in the throne room, where Ennikar was imprisoned in his golden cage.
“Ennikar!” Immakuk said, rushing to him. “You are safe, thank the gods. Not to worry, my love, I have come to save you from that deceitful Eanna. I shall find a way to free you from this cage.”
“Immakuk,” Ennikar said, clasping Immakuk’s hand. “You have to get away quickly. Eanna shall be here soon and with her the Bull of Heaven. You must save yourself, before it’s too late.”
“No, I shall not leave you!” Immakuk cried. “I have braved the winds and the storms to be here. I have forged weapons to face Eanna. I have been given Anet’s blessings. Let Eanna and her monsters come! I shall not leave without you.”
True to Ennikar’s words, the grand door burst forth to reveal Eanna, in radiant fury. Beside her was the Bull of Heavens. It was made out of the darkest storm-clouds and has bolts of lightning of horns. Eanna controlled it with a leash of lapis lazuli, but even in chains, the Bull thrashed and snorted, eager to be freed, eager to wreak havoc.
“So, Immakuk, you have come at last,” Eanna sneered. “Are you finally prepared to accept my proposal?”
“I will accept your proposal when the gods themselves take my last breath away,” Immakuk declared, unsheathing his weapons. “In the meantime, we shall have to fight.”
“Very well.” Eanna sighed. “Since you will not be reasonable, I suppose I will have to use unreasonable measures."
Eanna let go of the lapis lazuli chains. Free from his bondage, the Bull bellowed, the sound like crackling thunder. Gusts of wind blew from his nostril and his lightning-horns flashed. Its cloudy eyes regarded Immakuk with hate.
The Bull scraped the floor with his hooves.
Immakuk braced himself, weapons at the ready. The Bull launched itself and charged towards Immakuk. Immakuk rolled to the side and thrust his weapons to the Bull’s torso. Rain drops fell from the open wound, but the Bull showed no signs of stopping. It merely turned around and charged again at Immakuk.
Eanna laughed. “Fools! You shall never be able to defeat the Bull of Heaven. No weapons could harm it!”
“Don’t listen to him, Immakuk!” Ennikar shouted. “It must have a weakness. Look for its weakness!”
Immakuk jumped and strike the Bull again. It didn’t stop. Ennikar, who was raised by beasts and familiar with the wilds, spotted an uncharacteristic slope at the Bull’s neck.
“There!” Ennikar cried. “His neck! Smite him at his neck!”
When the Bull rushed at him again, Immakuk leapt up and landed at its shoulder. The Bull thrashed around, trying to jostle Immakuk off, but Immakuk had a firm grip. Swiftly, he drew his blade and thrust it at the Bull’s neck.
Golden blood flowed from the wound. The Bull let out a last mournful bellow before going completely limp.
Eanna shrieked, rushing to her dead pet. Her attendants and shrine-maidens surrounded her, all mourning the Bull of Heaven.
In this momentary distraction, Immakuk rushed to Ennikar. He broke the padlock with a mighty swing of his blade. The golden cage shimmered into nothing and Ennikar was freed.
Reunited at last, they embraced, kissing each other in a frenzy ignited by longing.
“Well,” Immakuk said at last, after a few moments. He was smiling, the storm clouds gathering in his mind clearing at last. “Now, let’s go home, Ennikar.”
And so, the two great heroes descended from the heaven back to their glorious city. Many would try to separate them, but none succeeded for long.
—
“Oh, Immakuk.”
“Costis, please. Can you not see how monstrous this is? Look at what Aelius did to the beautiful verse: he added unnecessary descriptions and shortened those who actually mattered. This is supposed to be contained in four tablets, but Aelius cut most of it. The poem is ruined!”
Costis shrugged. “The way I see it, Aelius did not translate the tablet but rather adapted it into another form. Like those plays that told of Immakuk and Ennikar’s adventure. He may have taken liberties—many liberties.” Costis amended upon seeing Kamet’s expression. “But that doesn’t mean the poem is ruined.”
“It is a terrible adaptation.”
“Never said it was good.” Costis grunted. “Come on, Kamet. There are a lot of terrible plays based on the tablets, but I don’t see you ranting about how inaccurate they are.”
Kamet just looked at Costis.
“Well,” Costis conceded. “Not much, anyway. Usually you just laugh at them.”
—
1
“I was never that idiotic,” Immakuk grumbled.
“Oh, I don’t know, I find your characterization particularly accurate,” said Ennikar.
“Ennikar, they based their interpretation—if you call the butchering of my personality an interpretation—on the tablets and we know Sarru exaggerates. He has a grudge on me.”
“Immakuk, you slept with his daughters. Thrice.”
“Which is within my right as king and they were the ones who asked first,” Immakuk said loftily. “The play has a poor production value anyway. Do you see that chariot? It’s practically falling apart.”
“You were the one who suggested seeing the play,” Ennikar said mildly. “Said it would be good to see what ‘your’ subjects were up to.”
“I assumed they were making great accurate works based on my legend—instead they produce these piss-poor imitations. At times, I miss Ashurba. He could be such a pain, but he could write.”
“This play is written by some no-name in charge a no-name travelling troupe and held on an open field in a small town. It would never be good.”
A thought came into Immakuk’s mind.
“Ennikar,” he said. “Why don’t we go to Ferria and see Ashurba’s plays? They have the best theatre in the world now, I’ve heard.”
“No,” Ennikar said sternly. “We promised Anet not to stay long. Just enough to do our task. We already had a detour with the play and if we remain here any longer, she would be really mad at us.”
“Well, we’ve already broken our promise, Anet would be mad either way. Might as well visit Ferria at the mean time. If we’re getting scolded at least we’re getting scolded for something worthwhile. I, at least, do not want to get screamed at just for seeing that horrible play. What do you say?”
Ennikar didn’t say anything but Immakuk could tell he was warming up to the idea. Besides, Ennikar wouldn’t ever leave him alone. He didn’t do it in the Cedar Forest and he wouldn’t do it now.
“Alright, then, Ferria it is,” Immakuk said cheerfully. “We can catch a wagon there. Or do you prefer teleportation instead?”
Ennikar sighed. But he followed Immakuk anyway. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“You love me. Very much.”
“I suppose I do.”
They kissed and went on to another adventure.