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Aaron meets Robert at the door of his classroom on the very first day of class. He’s not what Robert had expected in a teacher, but Rebecca had reassured him of his qualifications before leaving off on another business adventure. Robert at least trusts her judgment when it comes to their son.
It’s no surprise that Sebastian takes to Aaron quickly—handing off his lunch bag and coat to the teacher before excitedly rambling on about how his uncle has a green truck just like the one on the front of his t-shirt. He normally doesn’t get like this with strangers, but there’s something about Aaron that puts Sebastian at ease and it makes Robert smile. Aaron guides Sebastian to a desk full of coloring supplies before walking back towards Robert.
“Aaron Dingle,” he says, sticking his hand out for Robert to take. “You must be Mr. Sugden.”
“Call me Robert,” Robert says. He can’t help but grin, to feel a little spike of pride over his appearance, when Aaron admires the suit Robert's wearing.
“Sebastian seems well adjusted already,” Aaron says, tearing his eyes away from Robert’s shoulders and jerking his head towards where Sebastian is already coloring with a few of his new classmates.
“He spends a lot of time with my sister’s kids,” Robert says, nodding, but he still looks a little worried. “They’re a bit younger, but he adores them.”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine here,” Aaron says softly, squeezing Robert’s forearm. Robert can see why Sebastian likes him already.
—
Robert tangles his legs with Aaron’s under the blanket, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.
“You okay?” Aaron asks, nudging his cold fingers against Robert’s ribs, teasing. He grins when Robert squeaks and pulls away for a moment. Instead of retaliation, Robert laces his fingers with Aaron’s, rubbing them until they’re warm again.
“Yeah, just thinking,” Robert says, kissing the tops of Aaron’s knuckles. “You okay?”
“I’m perfect,” Aaron says and presses a kiss to the corner of Robert's mouth. “I should probably go before your sister drops off Seb.”
“Or you could stay,” Robert says softly, wrapping his hand gently around Aaron’s wrist when he tries to get up and move away. “Aaron.”
“We’ve talked about this, Robert,” Aaron growls, low and guttural. It gets Robert to drop his arm, and Aaron bolts away from the bed to grab his jeans from the floor.
Robert sighs because they’ve had this argument before, “It’s not just sex for me.”
Aaron stares at him for a moment, jacket in one hand and his shoes in the other. It feels like an eternity before Aaron moves, shaking his head like he’s trying to erase Robert’s words. But this time, this fight, it feels different.
“It is for me.”
This time, it feels final.
—
Robert never sees anyone he knows at the bars he frequents. He sees familiar faces of the men and women he’s fooled around with, but never people he actually knows. So it’s a surprise to see Aaron standing at the the other end of the bar, ordering two pints and a white wine.
“Aaron?”
“Robert,” Aaron turns, smiles at him with genuine surprise. “You alone?”
“Yeah, just a few hours out of the house,” Robert says, eyeing how tight Aaron’s jeans are when Aaron turns back to the bar.
“Order and come on over,” Aaron says, jerking his head towards the table he’s sat at with his mates. Robert nods, smile only faltering for a second while he tries to ignore the feeling of want . Of wanting to be alone with only Aaron. It had been festering for weeks, this growing attraction. He knows that Aaron couldn’t possibly feel the same way though, so he’s tried his best to shove his feelings down.
Leyla’s a lot like Robert in many ways and he appreciates her dry humor way more than Aaron seems to. Adam is brash and loud and not Robert’s type at all, but he’s nice enough with a quick sense of humor that has Aaron giggling like a little kid. It’s interesting seeing Aaron outside of the classroom. He’s relaxed in a way that Robert has never seen him before, his jumper sleeves pushed up to his elbows as he leans into the conversation. When Aaron laughs at something Leyla says, for a moment Robert feels like he can’t breathe. Everything around them falls away and there’s only Aaron. Aaron and his smile, Aaron and his laugh, the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when his face lights up. It’s a terrifying feeling, Robert barely knows him, but he’s never wanted anyone more.
“You alright?” Aaron asks when Adam and Leyla go in for the next round. His hand is soft and warm when he touches Robert’s arm, and there’s a spark of something between them when Aaron doesn’t immediately pull his hand away.
“Just thinking of Seb,” Robert tears his eyes away from Aaron’s hand to check his watch. “I should get back and all.”
“Oh,” Aaron says, shoulders slumping and Robert has to bite back his own smile at the fact that Aaron’s disappointed too. “Why don’t I walk you out? Er, y’know to the door.”
“Sure,” Robert agrees, quickly shrugging into his jacket. Adam and Leyla return, their drinks in hand when Aaron is retrieving his own jacket from the back of his chair.
“You leaving already?” Adam asks, glaring at Aaron like he wants to say something else.
“Just making sure Robert gets to his taxi okay,” Aaron replies, patting Adam on back.
There’s a sense of familiarity at the door as if they’d done this a thousand times before. Robert supposes they have, except they’re missing Sebastian standing between them this time. Robert huddles close to Aaron after ringing for a car, the brutal wind whipping past them.
“That was fun,” Robert says, a smile playing at the corners of his lips even though he’s shivering. “I haven’t been on a proper night out since before Seb was born.”
“I’m glad you had fun,” Aaron replies, scooting even closer to Robert when another gust of wind hits them. “I think Leyla fancies ya.”
“Too bad I’m interested in someone else,” Robert says, turning his head to look at Aaron.
“Yeah?”
“Mmm,” Robert hums. “He’s a decent bloke. Calls himself a teacher, but I think he just enjoys getting to play all day.”
Aaron laughs and moves the last inch so their shoulders are pressed together. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Robert says, leaning towards Aaron’s lips with a look of determination on his face. Aaron brings one hand up to cup Robert’s cheek, but lets Robert push forward. He's only an inch away when a car horn jolts them apart, startling a burst of laughter out of Aaron.
“Oi! Get a move on!” The driver yells, quickly rolling his window back up to protect himself from the wind.
“Asshole,” Robert grumbles, glaring only for a moment before his eyes soften when he looks back at Aaron. “I uh—I’ll see you Monday?” Robert flushes and he hopes that it doesn’t sound as desperate as he thinks it does.
“Sure,” Aaron nods and when Robert turns towards the car, he calls out and gestures towards the pub. “We should do this again sometime. Just us?”
Robert grins and huffs out a laugh when the driver honks at him again, “Yeah. Yeah we should.”
—
“You love him though,” Leyla groans. “Aaron, you know you love him.”
“I do not,” Aaron says, but it’s not even slightly convincing to his own ears, let alone the all knowing Leyla Harding.
“That might work with Adam, but this is me we’re talking about,” she smacks his knee with her hand when he sits down next to her. “You love him and you love Seb.”
“We’ve only been seeing each other for three months, and it’s only ever been sex,” Aaron argues, taking a swig off his beer before passing the bottle to Leyla.
“You and I both know that’s not true,” Leyla bites her lip, silent until Aaron sighs for the hundredth time. “Is this about—“
“No.”
“Aaron—“
“No, Leyla, it’s not about him,” Aaron says, brushing off her hand when she moves to comfort him. “My relationship with Robert has nothing to do with that.”
Leyla smiles, “Your relationship with Robert?”
Aaron glares at her, “I don’t love Robert.”
“If you say so,” Leyla sing-songs, taking Aaron’s bottle of beer with her when she leaves the room.
—
Their first date is anything but perfect, but Aaron enjoys walking down the sidewalk with Robert’s hand in his after their meal. It doesn’t feel forced or awkward and their conversations are lighthearted and fun. Aaron's never had a first date like that, and he smiles against Robert's lips when he kisses him goodnight.
When the weather warms they find themselves spending as much time together as they can, and they talk about everything—the good and the bad.
“So Rebecca just left?”
“She comes home for birthdays and Christmas. And she Skypes with Seb a lot, but it’s usually just me and him,” Robert says. He doesn’t seem too bothered by it though so Aaron doesn't push the issue further. “We seem to be doing alright, and Vic is a lot of help.”
“She sounds great,” Aaron says with a smile.
“She can be a pain,” Robert grins, draping his arm around Aaron’s shoulders. “But she’s great most of the time. What about you, any annoying little sisters?”
“Liv,” Aaron laughs, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “She’s a pain in the ass, but I love her anyway. I don’t see her now that she lives with her mum in Ireland. We text sometimes though.”
“I’m sorry,” Robert says, rubbing Aaron’s arm. “That must be hard.”
“She’s probably better off in Ireland anyway,” Aaron says with a shrug. Robert doubts that, thinks that maybe even Aaron doesn't believe his own words. He sees how Aaron is with the kids at the school and Robert can't imagine a better person than Aaron to have in your life.
They talk about where they grew up, how they grew up, and about their respective fathers. And Robert thinks maybe they’re opening a door to something great, to a real shot at happiness together.
Until Robert mentions introducing Aaron to Sebastian, properly, as his boyfriend. Then it all goes to shit.
—
Adam is less subtle, as usual, rocking up at Aaron’s apartment with a case of beer and a look on his face like he knows.
“You’d make a great dad, ya know.”
“Shut up,” Aaron says. He shoves at Adam’s shoulder, making him drop the game controller and lose the round.
“Hey!” Adam doesn't laugh though, knowing that Aaron is only joking to get him off the subject. “You would though. You’re great with your students.”
“There’s a difference between teaching fifteen kids every day and parenting a child, Adam,” Aaron rolls his eyes and tries to put his focus back on their game.
“Is there? Leyla says—“
“Leyla says a lot of things, why choose now to listen to her?” Aaron groans, pausing the game and throwing his head back in frustration. He knows Adam won’t let it drop until he gets his say. “Fine. What did Leyla say?”
“That you love Robert, and there’s something that’s stopping you from admitting it.”
“Ads, I don’t love Robert, okay? I care about him, yeah. I think about him a lot, and I want him to be happy even if that’s not with me, but—“
“That sounds like love, mate,” Adam says, shrugging when Aaron turns to glare at him. “If this is about Gordon—“
“No.”
“Aaron—“
“Are we going to finish this game?” Aaron asks, holding up his controller and shaking it a bit in Adam’s face. Aaron has always been grateful that Adam knows when to push and when to pull back, and he hopes that now is the time he doesn't push too much because Aaron's not sure he can handle it.
—
Aaron meets Rebecca when she comes home a few days before Seb’s sixth birthday. She arrives at the school in a stylish dress with Robert in tow. She seems nice enough and she clearly adores Sebastian, offering to take him for the night so that she can spoil him rotten. Robert rolls his eyes at the comment, but agrees when he sees the look that Aaron is giving him. Robert stays behind while Rebecca takes Sebastian home, ignoring the knowing look she gives him and Aaron as she leaves the room. The second they’re both out of eyesight Aaron presses Robert against the wall hard and kisses him as if his life depends on it.
“What was that for?” Robert asks when they come up for air, laughing even though he’s out of breath.
“What are you wearing?” Aaron hisses, tugging at the waistband of Robert’s designer jeans before he dips his hands underneath the hem of Robert’s grey jumper, his fingers gripping at Robert's waist.
“You said you liked this jumper,” Robert says, nipping at Aaron’s neck. “And the jeans.”
“Shit, Rob,” Aaron grunts, pulling away when Robert’s hands slide down Aaron’s back to squeeze his ass. "Not here."
“C’mon, let’s go back to my place. You can show me just how much you like my jeans,” Robert says with a cheeky grin.
It’s later, when Aaron is tugging his own jeans back on that Robert mentions it again. “You could stay. We could tell Seb about us.”
“Us? It’s just sex, Robert. A couple of nice dates and some great sex, but this isn’t—“ Aaron pauses when he sees Robert’s face fall. “Rob—“
“I guess I didn’t get the memo,” Robert says. Aaron’s not sure if Robert’s face is red with anger or shame so he waits for him to continue. “I care about you.”
“I care about you too,” Aaron insists, leaning forward to place a kiss on Robert’s lips. “I just—I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Robert asks, heart shattering inside of his chest.
Aaron shakes his head instead, “I’ll call you later.”
—
Robert’s leaning against the wall outside of his apartment when Aaron gets home from work. It’s been three weeks since their last proper talk, and even then they’ve only stuck to discussing Sebastian and his school work. It's easier being civil when they talk about Sebastian. Robert wants to say more, wants to push Aaron to talk about the real issue because he knows there's more to the story. But he doesn't, because despite what Robert wants, Sebastian's happiness comes first, so he holds his tongue until he can't anymore for his own sake.
“Hiya,” Robert says, his lips curling up into a soft smile. “I think we should talk.”
“It’s been a long day, Robert,” Aaron says, but he moves forward to unlock his door anyway. Aaron leaves it open so Robert can follow him inside. “What do you want?”
“To talk.”
“We don’t have anything to talk about,” Aaron says, anger building hot under his skin.
“Don’t we? I’ve tried giving you space to think, but I—I miss you,” Robert says and when he steps forward, Aaron steps back.
“You miss the sex,” Aaron huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No, no,” Robert steps forward, but this time he grabs Aaron’s arms when he tries to step away. “I miss you. I miss your voice, I miss your touch, I miss holding you. I miss talking to you about cars and about how our days were. I miss you. It wasn’t just sex. Not to me.”
“Me either,” Aaron admits, so softly that Robert barely hears it. “But I can’t.”
“I don’t understand,” Robert says, shaking his head to clear the confusion. “If you say you— if you feel the same way then why can’t we just—“
“Because I can’t be a dad to anyone after the father I had!” Aaron blurts out, pushing away from Robert.
“You would never hurt Sebastian like that!”
“Of course not!" Aaron cries, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “Of course I wouldn’t hurt him, not on purpose. I’d disappoint him or—or I’d make him hate me somehow or—“
“You think I didn’t feel the same way?” Robert asks, incredulously. “When Bex told me she was pregnant, my only thought was that I’d never be a good dad. I’d be a disappointment or I’d make his life miserable the way my dad made mine miserable.”
“You’re amazing with Seb,” Aaron says softly, letting Robert take his hands in his own.
“Aaron, so are you. Seb is lucky to have us both in his life. He’s healthy and happy and he’s loved. What more could he want?”
Aaron sniffles, wipes the sleeve of his shirt under his nose and nods, “Yeah, I guess.”
“I’m not asking you to be his dad,” Robert says, gently stroking the tops of Aaron’s knuckles with the pads of his thumbs. “I’m asking you to give us a chance. We don't have to rush anything. The rest we can figure out later. Together.”
Aaron sighs, his heart still conflicted, but he smiles because Robert's right. They have the rest of their lives to figure the other stuff out. “Okay. Together.”
“Papa,” Sebastian whines, shaking Aaron’s leg as he crawls onto the bed. It’d been two years since Seb had started calling him Papa, and Aaron’s still not entirely used to the bloom of warmth and love that spreads in his chest when he does. “Papa, Daddy won’t let me ‘ave anymore bacon until you wake up.”
Aaron groans before reaching up to tickle Sebastian’s stomach, “Oh he won’t?”
“He said, ‘no Papa, no bacon’,” the nine year old pouts. Aaron has to force himself not to laugh because when Seb folds his arms across his chest, he looks exactly like Robert when he doesn’t get his way.
“Alright, buddy, I’ll get up,” Aaron says, one hand against Seb’s back just incase as he climbs back off the bed.
“Yay!” Sebastian’s exuberance is infectious and Aaron laughs when he skips out of the room like he’s won the biggest prize.
When Aaron doesn’t emerge from their bedroom right away, Robert hands another slice of bacon to Seb anyways and heads down the hallway. He finds Aaron holding the photo they have of the three of them, cuddled together under a pile of blankets the day Seb had called Aaron Papa for the first time.
“Took us a while, but we got there in the end, yeah?” Aaron asks, looking up from the photo. His eyes are full of tears, but he’s still smiling. “I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could be a dad, but he showed me I could.”
Robert smiles at the memory. He waits for Aaron to put the photo back onto the bedside table before pulling him up and kissing him senseless.
“What was that for?” Aaron asks when Robert pulls away.
“I just love you,” Robert says with a smile and another peck to Aaron’s lips.
“I love you, too,” Aaron says in return, smiling when he thinks about the little black ring box hidden in his underwear drawer.