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Finn sits by Rose’s side in the Falcon’s tiny makeshift med bay. She’s the only seriously wounded they have on the ship. Everyone else who had made it off the salt planet had had to be mobile.
Three days ago, Finn had been in Rose’s place, but in an actual med bay.
Three days before that he’d just been a number.
Rose doesn’t look hurt. There’s a nasty scrape on her cheek, but the blood and dirt and sorrow have all been wiped away by the medics and unconsciousness. There’s something in him that says he should be holding her hand but he’s not sure that’s appropriate, so instead he just watches.
She breathes.
“Finn?”
Finn starts, throwing an arm automatically above Rose as he half-stands up.
“Rey,” he says, freezing.
Unlike Rose, she hasn’t been cleaned up at all. Someone’s slapped a makeshift bandage on her shoulder, but she’s still covered in blood and sweat and dust.
There’s no sorrow, though. Just exhaustion.
“This is Rose?” Rey asks after a moment, clearing her throat.
Finn sits again. His stomach feels like it’s full of rocks.
“She saved my life,” he says, eyes drawn down to her peaceful face once more.
Rey sits on the floor on the other side of Rose.
She doesn’t say anything. Finn actually begins to worry that he should say something. The thing stirring in him needs to make sure Rey knows how glad he is that she’s back and safe. Needs her to know how much he tried to do for her. Except at the end he hadn’t been thinking of her at all. He hadn’t been thinking of anyone, just that the rebellion couldn't be allowed to fall, not like that. Alone and desperate. He couldn't tell if that was more or less selfish of him.
“I failed,” Rey says.
She’s still looking down at Rose, but her face is crumpling.
“What?” Finn asks, startled. “Rey – you – you saved us.”
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “I couldn’t bring Master Luke back,” she says. “I couldn’t turn Kylo Ren. I failed and everyone died.”
“You did bring… him back,” Finn says, mystified and stumbling over the legendary Jedi’s name. “He held the entire Order off single-handedly until we could get away.” Before he died.
Thankfully Finn has more sense than to say that. And there's no way in hell that he's going to ask what she meant about Kylo Ren.
Rey’s shoulders pull up, but she shakes her head hard and takes a deep breathe in through her nose. When she lets it out she opens her eyes and meets Finn’s.
“I know we’ll find more people,” she says. Her eyes glitter. “I know we’ll gain supporters. We’ll be able to challenge the Order. We’ll defeat them. There is a balance and we’ll rise to meet it. Right now we’re just the spark but –“
She stops, mouth a tight line.
Finn doesn't know what happened to her. But he doesn't have to know to understand what she means. She had been through every bit as much as he had in the six days since they’d met and the fact that she could still feel so fiercely for what they were doing was awe inspiring.
He reaches forward to take her hand in his right and in his left finally take up Rose’s, still warm with life.
Rey clutches his hand tightly. She laughs thickly and rocks forward to touch her forehead to his, tightening her grasp even more.
Finn wouldn’t be able to say how long they sat like that. Eventually they're intterupted by BB-8 rolling around the corner beeping.
Rey turns, smiling softly. “BB,” she says. “I’m so glad to see you.”
Finn feels like he and the droid have been through enough now to come to an understanding but he still isn't sure if the droid feels the same way. But Rey’s pleased to see it so he doesn't begrudge BB-8’s appearance.
BB-8 knocks gently into Rey and she pats it on the head. “It’s good to see you, too,” she says again. She finally lets go of Finn’s hand in order to wipe her eyes and nose.
BB-8 knocks into Rose’s makeshift cot, equally gently.
“She’s gonna be okay,” Finn tells it. He gives Rey a look to see if he got it right. She laughs.
BB-8 rolls its head around and beeps.
“Of course you were,” Rey says and gives it another pat.
Finn is the only one facing down the corridor. He’d put his back against the wall out of muscle-memory more than anything and Rey had settled down facing him, so he's the only one to catch the glimpse of movement at the other end of the hall.
“Hey, I’ll be right back. Can you stay will her for a minute?” Finn asks, standing up in a crouch and still looking down the hallway.
“Of course,” Rey says.
Finn has to look down to let go of Rose’s hand and put it back on the bedding so he catches the smile in the corners of Rey’s mouth. He isn't sure why it sets his heart beating faster and his blood rushing hot to his face. Is it because it's Rey smiling knowingly at him, or because he hadn’t been able to stand all the way up because he hadn’t been willing to let go of Rose’s hand now that he was finally holding it, or because of the shadow he was going to chase?
“I’ll be right back,” he mumbles again.
The Falcon was enormous compared to even the roomiest transport and the corridor they’d deemed the ‘med bay’ made two turns before opening onto the central holding area where most of the survivors had settled. Finn heads the opposite way and finds Poe after the first turn, facing a dead end like he’s never seen a closed door before.
“Looking for something?” Finn asks.
Poe turns, frown turning into a smile in a flash. “I didn’t actually want to interrupt,” he says, gesturing. “I was just looking for BB-8.”
“You can take him if you need him for something,” Finn says, immediately. And then, “I mean, not that I want to get rid of him. Just that we’re not really doing anything important.”
Poe shrugs and runs one hand through his hair. “Me neither actually,” he says. “Chewbacca just kicked me out of the copilot’s seat--” there’s more awe in his voice than chagrin “--and I didn’t exactly feel like joining back in with everyone else.”
Finn closes his mouth. He’d been about to tell Poe to come back to sit with him and Rey, but if Poe didn’t want to be around other people…
“You doing okay?” Finn asks, instead. He takes a step forward, really looking at the man in front of him. He looks just about as wrecked as any of them. And he genuinely doesn’t seem to notice that he’d taken a step back to maintain the space between them.
“Yeah, of course,” he says. Poe crosses his arms, looks down the corridor behind Finn, recrosses his arms, and then huffs out a breath of air and throws his arms out. “Stars, Finn! I thought they’d killed you.”
Finn squares his shoulders. He’s too tired for this. He has no idea why Poe would be angry with him for that. “We did everything we could,” he says. “We weren’t exactly working with a surplus of time –“
“No.” Poe gestures and the words seem to explode out of him. “I’m sorry, Finn. It was a risky plan and it was all for nothing and you nearly died.”
This is even more confusing. “Yeah, but we didn’t die,” he says. Poe’s not angry with him but he’s even less prepared to deal with whatever this is than he had been when he thought Poe was angry at him.
“Only so you could come to Crait and nearly get ashed by a kriffing superlaser!”
Finn laughs.
Poe looks positively affronted.
“Poe,” Finn says, trying to swallow the laughter before it edges into hysterics. “You tried to pull us back and I nearly bit it because I thought I could knock out that cannon alone – I’d be dead or halfway across the galaxy right now if it wasn’t for you and Rose. But here we are! Rose and I are alive! You’re alive!”
He wipes his eyes, not exactly feeling like laughing anymore. He can’t exactly go so far as to call anything they’d accomplished a victory.
Except it was.
“We’re alive,” he insists, willing Poe to believe in that miracle.
Poe, for his part, is staring at him. He opens his mouth to respond, but there’s a shout from down the corridor.
“Finn! She’s waking up!”
Without thinking, Finn grabs Poe’s hand and drags him back down the hall.
They pass BB-8 at the turn, rolling in the other direction for a medic. Rose is just stirring when they run up. Finn falls to his knees and slides the last couple of feet to the cot.
Rose squints up at him. “Finn?” she whispers.
“Yeah,” he says, leaning forward and grinning. He wants to hold her hand again or touch her forehead or something. “Hey.”
She cracks a smile. “We did it, then,” she says, louder. She shifts, levering herself up from the cot. “Ow.”
Finn waves his hands over her in a frozen panic, afraid to try to help. “You probably should stay down,” he says. “You need to rest.” Rey stifles a laugh next to him, which is incredibly unfair.
Rose freezes, halfway up, and opens her eyes all the way. “Oh my – Oh – You’re Rey,” she squeaks.
“Hi, Rose,” Rey says. “We’re glad you’re awake.”
Rose practically vibrates. She looks from Rey to Finn and then above him to, presumably, Poe.
“Okay,” she says. “I’ve just woken up and I’m surrounded by three of the most heroic people in the Resistance. Now when do I wake up for real again?”
It’s Poe’s turn to laugh. “Wait for this,” he says. “Guess where we are.”
Rose stares up at him.
“This,” Poe says slowly, drawing it out, “is the Millenium Falcon.”
Rose yelps and snatches her hands off the cot like she’s afraid to touch the mythical ship, nearly throwing herself into Finn. “We’re on the what!?”