Archive of Our Own ^beta

Growing up, Sam Winchester was told one thing continuously. And that was that he was his brother’s best friend.

Since Sam could understand what a best friend was he had been proud to hold that title. He would walked around feeling cool and special, because he was his big brother’s best friend.

Dean was the coolest person ever. He was everything Sam wanted to be when he grew up and whenever Sam heard his friends at school talking about how awesome Dean was and how rad his car was, Sam would smile broadly and nod with them.

They were Sam and Dean since the day Sam was born (Or at least that’s what mom said) and the youngest Winchester never once feared that someone would come between them.

And why would they?

Sam had no interest in making any of his school friends his best friend even if Charlie came close second and Dean never had any friends at his school.

He once heard his mother asking Dean about that.

“Baby, have you considered actually getting to know the kids at your school?”

Mom was always like that.

Since dad died, she had to balance two roles and even though Dean and Sam helped around the house to make it easier for her, it was hard. So sometimes instead of easing into things that would’ve taken time, she just jumped right to the topic.

“Nah, mom.” Dean shook his head as he stirred the pot of food.

Sam pretended to set the table, when really he was listening in.

“Why?” Mom sighed, turning around to look at Dean with that look.

She always gave them that look.

She would raise her eyebrows and lay her head to the side and Sam always gave in and told her whatever he was keeping to himself.

He didn’t know how Dean could fight against that look.

Just as Sam passed them to get the forks and knives, he felt a hand fall on his head, ruffling his long hair.

He sighed in annoyance and glared at Dean who smirked.

“Because Sammy here is my best friend. Ain’t that right, Sammy?”

“It’s Sam.”

He didn’t like it when Dean called him that… Or well he did, but he didn’t like it when Dean did it in front of his school friends. Once when Dean called him that, everyone at school started doing it too and Sam didn’t like that. Only his mom and Dean were allowed to call him ‘Sammy’.

Mom shook her head and smiled that them. “My boys.”

So, basically, Sam knew he was Dean’s best friends and that no one would ever come between them until of course… he met one of Dean’s friends.

*

He had been waiting for Dean after school one day.

It was a little cold and the wind was starting to hurt his cheeks. Mom had work and to a 9 year old Sammy, he knew that no matter what, someone was coming to get him.

And given that the weather was so cold, he knew they were going to get here soon.

“Sam!”

Sam turned around and saw Mrs Hope making her way to him.

She was a nice teacher and she never made him feel like a freak because he was the smartest kid in class. She always smiled at him when he finished his work first and if he wanted more, she would give him some or allow him to read at his desk while the other kids finished theirs.

She was frowning and Sam knew that kind of frown.

A lot of teachers have it when someone was a little late to fetch him. Once, when dad was in hospital, Dean arrived really late and had to speak to the teacher before they were allowed to go home.

“Is someone coming to fetch you, sweetie?” She asked kindly.

Sam grinned and nods confidently. “Yeah, Dean is on his way. He’s probably late because of practice.”

He could tell she didn’t believe him because she still had that frown on her face but before Sam would assure her that his big brother wouldn’t forget about him, he heard the familiar rumbling of the Impala that Dean called Baby, which was just weird.

A huge grin spread across the little boy’s face and his head snapped to the entrance gate watching with excitement as dad’s –now Dean’s- black car came rolling in.

“See!” Sam said, looking up at Mrs Hope with that smile Dean always made when Sam proved someone wrong.

Mrs Hope sighed as a sweet smile spread crossed her face. “Of course. When will I learn?”

Sam shrugged as he got up. “It’s okay. A lot of people always think Dean forgets about me.

” He turned away from her, missing the flash of shock on her face, as the Impala came to a stop in front of them. His body shifted as Sam worked himself up, excited to tell Dean what Charlie did to Josh at recess.

Then Sam saw him. And his grin dimmed just a bit.

There was another boy that looked about Dean’s age, if Sam had to guess. He had dark, messy hair like he just rolled out of bed and didn’t have time to brush it flat, like Sam sometimes did.

Sam watched as his brother said something to the guy who nodded before Dean stepped out of the car.

“Hey, Sammy! You ready to go?” Dean asked, leaving the door open as he closed the small distance between them.

Sam looked around Dean to the guy sitting in the front. The stranger locked eyes with him and gave him a stiff smile. Sam narrowed his eyes, taking note that the boy’s eyes were blue like Mom’s but a little bit darker.

“Sorry for arriving so late. I had to convince the coach to let me leave early and the man does not understand brotherly duties, let me tell you.” Dean was explaining to his teacher.

“Oh, that is quite all right. Sam was just telling me that no matter the time you would always remember him.”

A hand fell on his shoulder and Sam looked away from the guy in the car to see Mrs Hope smiling brightly at him.

He frowned when he saw Dean doing the same.

“Yeah?” He asked, confused.

“Ha!” Dean burst out a laugh and reached over to mess his hair up. “You and your head. You better not be spacing out like this in class, Sammy.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Don’t be stupid, Dean.”

“Right, right, right. Forgot you’re a little bookworm.”

Sam huffed, pretending to be irritating, but those words made him feel a little bit better, made him feel like he was still Dean’s best friends.

“Bye, Mrs Hope.” He said kindly before turning to glare at Dean as he hitched his backpack over his shoulder. “Jerk.”

“Bit-“

Sam grinned as he walked to the car.

He liked doing that. Especially in front of adults. Once Mom heard Dean calling him a bitch and gave him a ‘firm talking to’ as she liked to call it.

Later that night, when Dean was in his room reading comic books with him, Sam told him he didn’t mind being called that and Dean told Sam that, no matter what, he was the only one allow to call Sam a bitch and to use that word, and to tell him if anyone ever called him that at school.

He got into the back seat, ignoring the guy in front.

He wanted to greet him but he didn’t know who this guy was and he seemed a little weird, like if Sam talked to him, he wouldn’t reply.

Some people are like that.

He was like that once and mom said he was just shy.

“All right.” Dean groaned and he got into the car. “Glad that is over. Thought that woman was gonna give me detention.”

Sam grinned and then the guy in front spoke.

“She should. You shouldn’t be using such vulgar language in front of your little brother, Dean.”

Sam was a little shocked when the guy spoke, because one, he spoke funny and two, his voice was almost as thick as Dean’s.

He didn’t look like a guy who would have a thick voice but then again, Dean didn’t always have one.

One day, he was normal and then the next his voice sounded weird.

It took a while for Sam to get used to it.

Dean sighed at the guy and rolled his eyes as he pulled out of the school parking area. “Sammy knows I’m just messy around and he knows better than to use to that word when talking to other people.”

“Like you do?”

Dean rolled his eyes again and turned to look over to the Sam. “Sammy, this is Castiel. Cas, this is my baby brother Sam.”

Sam glared at Dean for using the word ‘baby’. He wasn’t a baby.

The guy, Castiel, turned to look over the seat and gave Sam another smile, only this time it wasn’t as stiff.

“Hello, Sam.”

Sam looked at him. “What kinda name is Castiel?”

Dean chuckled at that and gave Castiel a funny look. Sam ignored his brother and kept his eyes on Castiel.

“Well,” Castiel started. “My name is biblical. Much like your name Samuel. You were named after the Prophet. I was named after an Angel, called Cassiel but my parents changed it.”

Sam frowned at him. “I wasn’t named after a Prophet. I was named after Grandpa Samuel. Like Dean was named after Grandma Deanna.”

Castiel turned to look at Dean. “You were named after your grandmother?”

Dean groaned. “Let’s not talk about that. Ever.”

“Why? It is a beautiful name. Deanna stems from Diana which means Divine. She is also the Roman goddess of the moon, hunter, fertility, childbirth---"

“Stop!” Dean shouted, shaking his head as if he wanted to shake the words off him.

Sam giggled in the back seat.

“I do not want to hear about that. My name is Dean and it is a fucking badass name.”

Castiel grinned at his big brother before turning to Sam once more. “And yes, though you were named after you Grandfather, his name originated from the Bible.”

Castiel looked at Sam expectantly but Sam said nothing for a while.

“You talk funny.” He informed his brother’s friend.

Dean’s eyes appeared in the rear-view mirror and he frowned at Sam for a second. “Sammy…” He said lowly in a warning tone.

His friend didn’t seem to be bothered by it because he kept his eyes on Sam. “Yes. I have been informed that my use of vocabulary is strange and I suppose it is compared the way adolescence usually speak but I prefer speaking in this manner, it ensures that I do not fall into the common occurrence of misunderstanding.”

Sam’s eyes had widened with every word that Dean’s friends spoke and when the guy was done Sam couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t come off as rude, so he decided not to say anything at all.

Dean laughed in the front seat. “Cas takes some getting used to but you will.”

Getting use to?

Meaning Castiel will be here for a while?

When they dropped Castiel off, Dean told Cas to get him at the front of their school tomorrow. As he climbed out, he turned to close the door, peaking into the open window.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Sam.”

Sam only nodded, feeling worried for the first time since his dad died.

*

Sam had been right to worry.

Castiel was around for a while. Whenever Dean would come pick him up from School, Castiel would be there sitting in the front.

They talked sometimes but mostly, Dean did all the talking. He and Castiel talked during the whole ride to his house. Dean would make comments here and there and when they dropped the other boy off, Castiel would get out like always, turn around to look through the window and then he would say: Have a good evening, Sam.

He talked to Mom about it one night when he knew Dean was asleep and wouldn’t walk in them. He didn’t want to seem like a wuss for worrying about something so stupid.

“Mom?”

“Yeah, honey?”

Mom was in bed, laying on her side, like she always did, with Dad’s side open. Sam stared at the empty space for a bit before he made his way over to her and crawled onto the bed.

“Did you have a lot of friends at school?”

Mom frowned at him, putting down the book she’d been reading as she leaned back against her pillows. “Uh, no, I didn’t.”

“Why? Were you rude?”

Mom laughed and Sam smiled a little at the sound. For a little while Mom didn’t use to laugh at all so now when Sam heard the sound it made him happy.

“No, baby. I was a little different than the other girls so I didn’t really connect with them.”

Sam nodded, taking that piece of information in. “So you didn’t have one friend?” He asked, feeling a little sad for Mom. He knew what it was like to not have any friends at school.

Mom smiled. “Well, I had Aunt Ellen.”

“But that wasn’t in school.” Sam pointed out.

Mom gave him a worried look and she reached out to take his hand in hers. Her hand was a little bigger and Sam looked forward to day he will be able to cover her whole hand with his.

“What’s this about, Sam?”

Sam bit his lip and looked down at their hands. He didn’t want to tell her. What if she told Dean?

A hand cupped his chin and gently lifted his head. He looked up into Mom’s kind eyes and felt a little bit better.

“Sammy, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s bothering you.”

He paused for a beat before he spoke. “Dean never had a friend besides me and now he does. And if Castiel is Dean’s new friend does that mean I’m not Dean’s best friend anymore?”

He felt so much better when he was done speaking. That heavy felling that had been pressing down on his chest didn’t hurt so much anymore. He stared at Mom with wide eyes waiting for her to tell him he was being silly but she just smiled gently at him, tilting her head to the side. She stroked his chin softly.

“You’re worried Cas will take your place?”

Sam nodded.

Mom smiled at him and then reached out, wrapping her arms around him, turning and pulling him over to her until his back was pressed right up against her chest. She laughed lightly when Sam struggled a bit in false annoyance but he soon gave in to Mom’s warm hug.

“Honey,” She started and Sam tilted his head to the side. “Cas and Dean aren’t friends like you and your brother. Because one, Dean loves you more than anyone and no one, no one, will ever get between you two. Okay? You will always be Dean’s best friend. He even has your name tattooed on his chest.”

Sam giggled, remembering how angry Mom was when Dean told her he got a tattoo but she stopped the moment she saw her name, Sam’s name and dad’s name on his chest where his heart was.

“Okay?” She asked him, her eyes wide and hopeful.

Sam stared at her for a beat. “What kinda friends are they?”

Mom paused like she always did when she was thinking her words through, something she always tells Sam to do, before she spoke. “They just met, and Dean will tell you all about Cas when he is ready but I want you to know that no matter how much you think you will get replaced, you won’t.”

Sam looked at her for a beat. “What’s wrong with Cas?”

Mom shook her head and kissed the top of his head. “Nothing, Sammy. He just really needs Dean right now.”

*

After that Sam tried to get to know Castiel.

Sure he was weird but after a while Sam started liking the way he told Dean off. Dean seemed to notice and after a day or two of Sam trying to get to know Cas, Dean’s friend started talking to him more too.

They talked about all the things Sam liked, which he thinks was all due to Dean but he wasn’t going to bring it up.

Castiel knew all these weird facts and Sam enjoyed it because, not only did he learn something awesome every day, but he always had something new and interesting to tell Charlie.

But after a week, Sam started feeling left out. Dean would sometimes bring Castiel home with them, which meant Sam and Dean didn’t play X-box together like they always did after finishing their homework.

Castiel was always talking about someone named Gabriel and then he and Dean would get real quiet and Mom would pull Sam away to help her with the food. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew they were keeping something from it and it made him angry. It reminded him of when Mom and Dad would get all quiet and hide behind their fake smiles.

By the end of week two, Sam stopped trying to be Dean’s best friend.

He knew Mom didn’t lie when she said he would always be Dean’s best friend but she didn’t know everything. Just like she didn’t know Dad would die two months instead of years later like her and Dad had told them.

Come Friday, he didn’t bother talking to Dean or Castiel on the drive home, choosing to go straight to his room to start on his homework. Mrs Hope had given him a new book to read so he knew he would be busy until Castiel had to leave. Books always made him feel better.

When Dean’s car pulled away from the house, only then did Sam leave his room to go help Mom with the food.

She gave him a kind, soft smile and a kiss on the cheek which made him feel a bit better. It was Friday, so she was more relaxed than usual because she had Saturday and Sunday to sleep late.

Dean came back half an hour later when the food was done with a sad look.

“How did it go, sweetie?” Mom asked.

Dean shrugged. “Better.”

Sam didn’t bother asking because Mom said Dean would tell him when he was ready.

Mom gave Dean a sad smile. “He could always sleep here. Does he know that?”

Dean nodded and smiled as he made his way to the table to take a seat with them. “Yeah, he knows.” He dished himself some food. “I think he might next week, with the amount of shouting I heard when I dropped him off.”

Mom shook her head sadly and neither said anything for a while.

“Anyway, how was school today, Sam? You went straight to your room.” Dean said turning to look at Sam as he stuffed food in his mouth.

Sam took a small bite and shrugged. “Fine.”

Dean nodded, swallowing before shoving more food in his mouth, ignoring Mom’s disapproving yet amusing look. “You okay? Need help with anything at school?”

“No.”

Dean paused then and looked at him. Sam tried to look cool and calm as he stared at his food, taking another small bit. “You okay there, Sammy?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? Kids ain’t bother you at school again, right?”

Sam shook his head. “No.”

Mom started talking then. She could tell something wasn’t right with Sam and he was grateful for that. He didn’t want Dean to know how he felt and he knew that Dean would keep grilling him for info. Knowing that brought a small hope to him that maybe he wasn’t gonna lose Dean.

At least not completely.

*

When he was done eating, he took a quick shower and got ready for bed. As Sam laid in his room, wide awake, he felt a need to go to Mom again, ask her one last time if she was sure he was still Dean’s best friend, but he didn’t.

It was bad enough he was acting like a sissy at dinner, if he went to Mom now and complained then he really would be acting like a bitch.

He was about to fall asleep when he heard his bedroom door opening. Frowning, Sam turned over and sat up to see Dean walking in. He didn’t bother moving quietly, letting out a loud irritating groan as he jumped onto Sam’s bed. Dean moved to lean against the headboard and turned to give him a hard look.

“All right, spill.”

Trying to hide his emotions, Sam looked down and shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “You expect me to believe you?” He reached over and slapped Sam’s arm with the back of his hand. “C’mon, man. Don’t make me beg you here. What crawled up your ass?”

Sam narrowed his eyes at his big brother. “I said it was nothing.”

Silence filled the room as Dean said nothing. He just stared at Sam and after a while, he had to look away, choosing to pick at the sheets of his bed, tugging it, looking for loose threads that will distract him.

“This about Cas?”

Sam bit the inside of his cheeks. He doesn’t want to lie, and make Dean think he was okay with Castiel but he also didn’t want to say yes and continue to make a fool out of himself.

“Okay, so it is about Cas.” Dean said.

“I said it was nothing, Dean!” Sam groaned aloud. “Why do you have to keep pushing?”

He fell back into his bed and reached for his pillow to shove over his head. God, why did Dean have keep asking?

He heard Dean sigh loudly. His bed shifted, the pillow was ripped from his hands and then his brother’s understanding face plopped down next to him on his other pillow. Sam was shoved around a little so Dean would get more comfortable and he couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Ah!” Dean sighed loudly again. “Now this is better.”

Sam bit down the inside of his cheek. He knew what Dean was gonna do now. He was gonna talk to Sam and he was scared that Dean was gonna tell him something he didn’t want to hear.

“Listen, Sammy…” Dean paused. “You remember that time Dad was in the hospital and you wouldn’t talk to anyone? You locked yourself in your room and only came out when I asked?”

Sam played with the threads of his blanket. He remembered that. He was so angry at Mom and Dad for lying to him. He wanted to show them how much they hurt him but he was so scared, that he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to hug Mom but yell at her too. He didn’t know what would help so he decided to not do anything.

“And then you met Charlie? And she kinda got you to open up by never shutting up?” Dean continued to say, his voice turning into a whine that had Sam giggling under his breath.

Dean liked to pretend he found Charlie annoying but Sam knew he liked her. He let her hug him that one time.

“Yeah?” Sam asked. “What about it?”

“Well… you could say I’m Cas’ Charlie.”

Sam’s head snapped over to fast, his neck actually cracked. His eyes widened as he asked in a fearful voice. “Castiel’s dad is dying?!”

“What? No!” Dean’s face screwed up. “Oh fuck, I so fucked that up--- yeah, yeah, I know. I already put money in the swear jar before I came in here.”

Sam watched, his heart hurting, as Dean ran a hand over his face which reminded him a little of Dad. “Okay… shit, let me start again. Cas’s dad is fine. Nobody is dying, okay? What I meant was that Cas needs a… friend right now, like you did with Charlie. And that’s what I am.”

“I know that, Dean.” Sam rolled his eyes, feeling irritated.

He knew that Dean and Castiel were friends. He knew that Castiel needed Dean but that didn’t help him! If Dean’s was Castiel’s Charlie then that would mean that Castiel could take his place.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Nothing.”

Dean grunted. “I can literally smell the bullshit.”

Sam sniffed. “That’s another dollar.”

“Dude, c’mon. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s bothering you! Okay? Mom knows, so why aren’t you telling me?”

Sam remained silent.

“I ain’t leaving until you tell me.”

That night, Sam fell asleep with Dean waiting on his bed. He thanked God that Dean couldn’t see his face or the tears that had wet his pillow.

*

Sam had stupidly thought Dean would hang out with him on the weekends. He had been so excited on Friday, telling Charlie about all the games he planned on playing with Dean and how he could maybe get Dean to show him how to work with the Impala.

Saturday had started out perfectly. Dean had woken him up by banging on his door with an ‘up and at’tem, Sammy!’

Sam had been so happy to get the day started. Not even Dean’s constant questioning about what kinda of dream he had had that had him in such a happy mood. Mom had yelled at him for that but Sam didn’t care.

They were on the couch, playing Mortal Kombat when his awesome day fell to pieces. Dean’s weird remixed version of Smoke on the Water had his brother pausing the game mid battle. Sam turned, frowning as Dean snatched his phone from the coffee table.

A weird knot formed inside him and it made him sick. He watched, worried as Dean flipped open his phone and answered.

“Heya, Cas.”

Sadness filled him. His eyes followed Dean as his brother put the control down, a frown forming on his face as he stood up from the couch.

“Whoa! Whoa! Cas… Cas? Just—where are you?” Sam watched as Dean nodded, his eyes wondering around as he listened to whatever Castiel said on the other end and without a word, Sam slipped off the couch and walked into the kitchen. His made no sound as he spotted Mom and wasted no time to close the distance between them to wrap his arms around her waist.

“Oh!” Mom jumped in surprise. Sam closed his eyes and pressed his face into her back. “Sammy? Honey?”

He shook his head. Sam heard Dean walking into the kitchen, his car keys jingling. “Hey, Mom! Cas is gonna spend the night. That alright?”

He heard Mom sigh, her warm hands covering his. “Of course, hon.”

Sam winced at the slamming of the front door.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He felt Mom shift around and Sam loosened his hold on her just a bit. He fell into her arms the moment she got down on her knees. He didn’t cry. He promised himself that he wouldn’t. He just closed his eyes and prayed that he could still be Dean’s friend and hang out with him, even if Castiel was his new best friend.

Mom pulled away from a while. Sam looked into her kind blue eyes and he felt the sadness lessen by just her smile.

“Wanna help me outside in the garden?” She asked him, her eyebrows raising and her smile growing.

Sam nodded, his lips tugging up just a bit.

*

It was late that night when Dean returned home with Castiel. Sam, who had been in Mom’s room reading, looked up and over to her when he heard the front door being opened. She gave him another one her smiles before she got up, slipped on her gown and made her way out the door with Sam following behind her.

He said nothing, choosing to stay upstairs and watch as Mom hurried down to greet Castiel.

“Hello, Castiel.” She reached out and Sam saw the way she waited just a beat before pulling Castiel into a hug.

Dean’s friend stood stiff, his arm hanging by his side, which was just rude. Mom gave the best hugs and Castiel should be happy he got to get one of her special hugs.

When Mom pulled away, Dean gave her a smile and turned to Cas who greeted like always, “Hello, Mrs Winchester. I hope I am not being an inconvien—“

“Nonsense. You are more than welcomed here. Anytime. All right?”

Sam didn’t have to see her face to know she raised her eyebrows at Castiel. Mom took a step back and Dean, who had his arm around Castiel, moved forward, tugging his friend along with him.

“My room. You get ready so long.”

Castiel looked over to Dean and Sam swallowed down the urge to cry when he saw his brother pat his new best friend on the shoulder. Sam watched with narrowed eyes as Castiel walked away from his mom and brother, giving them both a smile.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Castiel saw Sam. He tried to smile but Sam just glared him the way he always saw Dean do at kids who picked on him and Charlie. He didn’t feel bad when Castiel’s smile fell and the other boy turned away and headed to Dean’s room.

Dean never let anyone go up to his room. Beside Sam and maybe a girl. He remember Lisa trying to go up to Dean’s room once but his brother had stopped her before she was even a toe in.

He was about to turn around, go back to Mom’s room, because he wasn’t gonna sleep alone tonight when he heard Dean calling his name.

“Sam!”

He froze up and looked over to see Dean jogging up the stairs. “C’mon.” Before he could say anything, like Dean should leave him alone, Dean’s hands landed on his shoulders, forcing him toward Mom’s room.

Sam was so nervous, he couldn’t help but look over and down. Mom stared up at him, gave him a small nod and a smile. He wanted to shout at her that he didn’t want to talk to Dean anymore. He wanted to tell her his awesome plan to stay in her room forever and maybe never hang out with Dean until he went off to college and then Castiel and Dean could hang out as much as they want without having to worry about Sam being the annoying little brother.

But he didn’t. He just allowed Dean to push him into Mom’s room. Sam noticed the way Dean ignored Dad’s side and took a seat on Mom’s side of the bed. Sam didn’t really have a problem with it. Even though he missed Dad a lot, some days more than others, he kind of felt closer to Dad in Mom’s room.

“Okay.” Dean said, running a hand over his face. “So, first of all. Sorry for rushing out like that today. It was a dick move and I shouldn’t have felt you hanging like that but Cas---“

“Needed you.” Sam cut him off. “Yeah, I know.” He looked down at his hand, rolling his eyes.

A hand slapped his arm and Sam couldn’t help but meet Dean’s eyes sadly.

He didn’t get it. Why wasn’t he Dean’s best friend anymore? Was it because he wasn’t Dean’s age? He was smart. He could keep up with Dean and he knew Dean liked having someone to talk to and Sam didn’t mind listening to Dean. Dean also liked teaching Sam about the Impala and his brother loved that car so it wasn’t really a problem. So what was it? Sam liked everything Dean did and yeah, Castiel needed Dean but so did Sam.

He knew he was being selfish, that he was only thinking of himself but none of those reason changed the fact that he felt like he was losing Dean.

And he didn’t want to lose Dean too.

“Oh shit.” Dean groaned and Sam knew he’d done a crap job at hiding his emotions. The bed shifted as Dean moved over, closer to Sam before tossing an arm over his shoulder. “Listen… I wasn’t trying to hide this from you, okay? But… see the thing is, Castiel means a lot to me and I mean a lot.”

Sam frowned over at Dean. He’d heard that tone before. Dean always spoke like that when he was about to tell Sam something he was unsure of.

“Yeah, I know. He’s your best—“

Dean shook his head. “Wrong BF, dude.”

Sam leaned back, confused as hell. He stared up at Dean, waiting for an explanation. He could tell Dean was struggling to find the right words and that was fine. Sam didn’t mind waiting but what---

“Look, Sam. You’re a smart, kind hearted kid, okay. I know that, so I’m just gonna… spit it out.” Dean licked his lips and swallowed. “Castiel is my boyfriend. Like me and him are dating.”

Sam felt his body freeze and his jaw drop in shock. He thought back on every time he’d ever been around Dean and Castiel, and he didn’t remember them holding hands or kissing…. Or maybe they just didn’t do it in front of him.

Just then, Dean spoke up. “And before your mind starts spewing bullshit, Cas isn’t the PDA kinda guy. Okay, he’s very private and he didn’t want to add on to his family’s problems. He hasn’t come out yet and—“

“How come you never told me you liked boys?” Sam asked. “What about Lisa?”

Dean shrugged. “I liked Lisa too, Sam. I like both genders. And I didn’t tell you ’cause I never had a reason to. Cas is the first serious guy I’ve been with and with everything happening with his family, I didn’t see the point of making this big fuss. I knew you weren’t gonna like alienate me because of my sexual preferences. Mom already knew—“

“And Dad?” Sam narrowed his eyes. “Did Dad know too?”

Dean sighed, giving Sam a small smile. “He’s the one who sat me down and explained to me that who I liked didn’t change anything. He always told me to be myself and anyone who didn’t like or accept the person I was could shove a bullet up their ass.”

Sam couldn’t help but snort at that. That sounded like something Dad would say. He was sure Dean got his habit of swearing for no reason from Dad. Dean kinda reminded him a lot of Dad and even Mom agreed.

It didn’t help that his full name was Dean Jonathan Winchester.

Sam chewed on the inside of his cheek. He didn’t know what to say.

Dean waited a minute before he started speaking again. “Mom told me I’ve been ignoring you and I wanna apologize for that. I’m really sorry, dude. I never wanted you to feel, neglected or like I didn’t give a shit about you because that is so far from the truth.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “And Cas?”

“Castiel is my boyfriend and yeah, he is one of my closest friends too but Sammy, man, you’re my brother. You know nothing can trump that. That’s like… the Iron Throne. There’s only one person allowed to sit on that seat. And that person is my pain in the ass, geeky as fuck, little brother.”

Dean reached out and ruffled his hair, shaking his shaggy bangs. Sam played along, moving out from under before shoving his hand away.

“So we cool?” Dean asked. “No hiding in your room, thinking I’m gonna replace you? No more bitching behind my back and definitely no more glaring at Cas.” Sam got a hard look at that. A look that only hardened even after Sam gave Dean his innocent ‘puppy’ eyes. “Yeah, I saw that too. And just ‘cause I got your back, doesn’t mean you get to be a dick to him. The dude thinks you hate him and he’s like, making lists on all the things he can do to change himself to ‘make you more comfortable’.”

“Say what?” Sam couldn’t hide the shock in his voice. “Yeah. So cut it out. You’ve been cock blocking me a lot.” Dean glared at him. “And If I have to listen to another list one more time, Imma put Nair in your shampoo again.”

Sam reached out and shoved him. “You’re freaking jerk.”

“But you’re still a bitch.”

The door burst open. “Dean!”

Both their heads snapped over to see Mom standing there, hands on her hips and eyebrows raised.

Dean groaned. “Mom were you listening—“

“Oh no, young man. Do not turn this around on me.”

Sam clamped a hand over his mouth to keep his laughter in.

“I got my money—“

“The money clearly isn’t helping. You’ve cussed more than 6 times in that little speech of yours.” She narrowed her eyes and Dean shifted, silent. “Now, I am gonna have a serious talk with you about swearing like that in front of your brother but right now Castiel needs you. You are gonna be sleeping in Sam’s room--- Oh yes, I may like Castiel but I am not allowing you boys to sleep in the same bed.” Dean opened his mouth. “And don’t try that pregnancy loophole with me. Sex is still sex. Now, get going.”

Dean pouted sadly at Mom. He tilted his head to the side, gave Sam a wink before standing up from the bed. Sam grinned when Dean gave Mom that ‘charming’ smile of his and leaned over to press a loud kiss against Mom’s cheek, holding it until Mom started smiling.

“Night, mom.” He said to her before walking out of the room, calling over his shoulder. “Dry dreams, Sammy!”

Sam couldn’t help but laugh when Mom rolled her eyes and tipped her head back. Shaking her head she said. “John, if you were here…”

*

“Castiel?” Sam said, knocking lightly on Dean’s room.

He opened the door slowly, peaking in. Sam blink twice to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him.

There was his brother, who was supposed to be in his room, hugging Castiel like he was a big teddy bear. Sam pressed his lips together, holding back his laughter. He looked at the two, wondering if it would be weird if he woke them up but then he remembered what Dean said about Castiel not liking him.

So with that in mind, Sam made his way over to Castiel’s side of the bed. He looked down at the boy his brother was dating, seeing the bags under his eyes like he didn’t get much sleep. Sam reached out slowly, his finger pointed out as he nudged his forehead.

He watched and waited as Castiel’s dark eyebrows pulled together. Sam gave him one more shove and Castiel’s face screwed up before it relaxed and he opened his eyes.

Sam bit his lip, going over the small speech he had made. Mom said it was a good one and that Castiel would appreciate it but still, he didn’t like that Castiel thought he should change for him.

Blue eyes opened, blinking only twice before they fell on Sam. He shifted nervously when Castiel frowned at him for a second. There was a moment of silent. Sam jumped back in surprise when Castiel jerked up. Dean groaned and mumbled something in his sleep.

Castiel looked over to Dean and gave him a rough shake. “Dean! Dean! Get up!”

“No…” Dean groaned, his arm coming to wrap around Castiel’s waist. “Go back to sleep, babe.”

“Oh dear God. Dean, wake up! Dean!” There was pause. “Dean, someone stole Baby.”

Sam’s eyes widened as his brother jerked up, his body rolling and tumbling out of the bed. He fell onto the floor, moaning. “Oh fuck, my dick.”

Castiel’s face turned pink and Sam snorted. Dean jumped to his feet, his hair standing up on ends as he spun around in circles. “Where’s my phone? I put a tracker thingy on Baby! I can fight—“

“Fight?” Castiel repeated. “Dean! Dean! I was merely messing around!”

Dean paused, midway from spinning around. He blinked. “You what?”

Sam watched with a grin as Castiel rolled his eyes, which was kinda awesome because his eyes were super blue and it looked cool watching them roll around. “Your brother was in the room. You refused to wake up and so I had to improvise. The theft of your precious car seemed like the perfect means to get your out of bed.”

Dean gaped. “That’s just sick!”

Castiel shrugged. “As is your infatuation with your car but you don’t see me complaining about it.”

It was then that Dean actually noticed Sam standing by the bed. “Sammy? What the f—fudge are you doing here?”

Sam snorted. “I could ask you the same thing. Did you even sleep in my bed?”

“’Course not.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Now answer my question.”

He hesitated only a beat before he said, “I kinda wanted to talk to Castiel.”

“Me?” Castiel asked.

“Why?” Dean spoke over him. “What time is it anyway?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. Mom is downstairs making pancakes, though.”

Dean rolled his eyes and he didn’t seem sleepy anymore. “Helpful. All right,” he looked to Castiel. “You good?”

His brother’s boyfriend glanced between him and Sam before he nodded.

Dean clapped his hands. “Awesome. I’mma go brush my teeth. You two talk until your vagina’s fall off and then come meet me downstairs.” He pointed at Sam. “I’ll take you and Charlie out next week if you keep this between us.”

Sam grinned. “Deal.”

Dean grinned at them both before making his way out the room without another word.

It was only when the door closed that Sam turned back to Castiel. The other boy looked uncomfortable and Sam gets that. He was kind of a dick to him.

“Can I sit?” He asked politely. He wasn’t like Dean who just made himself at home on people’s bed.

Castiel nodded but say nothing.

“Okay, so…” He sunk down onto the mattress, going over his speech. “I wanted to say sorry for a how rude I was. I was…. It wasn’t because of you. I was kinda worried about me and Dean but I know that how I acted wasn’t right and that it isn’t reason enough to have been so rude to you.”

He paused, trying to remember the rest. Sam bit down on the inside of his cheek, waiting as Castiel looked at him with a serious expression. He didn’t like that. He hated that he couldn’t tell if Castiel was happy or sad. It made it hard for Sam to trust that Castiel was being honest with him, even if he doubt his brother’s boyfriend would lie to him, just because he didn’t seem like the kind of guy to lie to people.

“Apology accepted, Sam.”

Sam blinked, confused. “Just- Just like that?”

Castiel tilted his head to the side and frowned. “Of course. Why would I hold this against you?”

“Uh, because I was a dick.”

Cas sighed softly. “I really hope that is the only profanity you use. And no, you weren’t. You had a valid reason to worry, seeing as you weren’t made aware of the nature of my relationship with your brother and had I been in your shoe’s I might have been a little envious too. Though, make no mistake, nobody, not even me, could take your place in your brother’s heart. Of that I have no doubt.”

And then Castiel smiled. It was a small, tiny smile but it made Sam feel so much better. He couldn’t help but sigh loudly in relief, feeling that heavy weight in his chest fade.

“Thanks, Cas.”

Castiel nodded. “Now, I believe your brother promised us breakfast, yes?”

Sam nodded wildly, reaching out for Cas’ hand without thinking, tugging at him until he got out of Dean’s bed. “You gonna be here for Christmas, right? Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen always comes over with Jo and you should hear Dean sing. He says he isn’t every good but I know he wanted to be a Rock Star when he was young and between you and me, I think he can do it. Have you heard him sing?”

Castiel smiled down at him again and Sam figured that maybe he had been looking at it all wrong. Maybe he wasn’t losing Dean but was actually getting a new friend. Cas seemed like a cool dude and he liked all of Sam’s books and knew all these weird little facts.

Maybe he could be Sam’s new friend.

*

20 years later:

“Anndd… UP!” Sam sounded out, lifting the gurgling baby up into the air.

A high pitched laugh broke free from the tiny body, his blue eyes bright with the purest of joy. Jack babbled on, his pudgy fists clenching and unclenching, the universal sign for Sam to do it again.

“Sam…” A voice said by the kitchen entrance. Lowering Jackson into his arms, he turned around, feeling his smile growing at the fond expression on his wife’s face. “Come on.”

Just as he opened his mouth, another sweet voice called to him, urgent as always. “Daddy! Come! Uncle Dean is waiting.”

Jackson babbled in gibberish, leaning forward and reaching for Eileen. A sweet smile graced her face as she took the baby, shifting him to one arm and wrapping the other around Sam’s waist. Her tiny form curled into his side and his stomach fluttered. Years later and he was still reduced to the nervous man on his way to their first date.

Together they headed to the living room. A dozen dazzling smiles met his, laughter blended perfectly with sweet chatter.

Ellen and Bobby were fawning over Jo’s baby girl, Leah, wrinkles accentuating their proud smiles. Claire was talking with his Mom, her hands moving around as she explained something and in Mary’s lap was Melody…

His heart grew, filling with indescribable love when Mel turned, as if sensing the entrance of her parents. He’ll never forget the day Melody had been born; this tiny little human screaming her lungs out on his wife’s chest. Sam’s cheeks had ached from his too wide smile. He remembered Eileen turning to him and uttered with a heavy tongue: Melody, she’s my Melody.

Having been unable to form any words, Sam had signed ‘I love you so much’, crying when his wife tired eyes brimmed with tears as she lifted her hand signing ‘I love you too.’

Eileen squeezed his waist, before dropping her arm and headed to the couch, sitting down next to his mom.

“Geez! About time.” A gruff voice said from the front of the room. Rolling his eyes, Sam turned to where Dean was sitting on the floor, a guitar on his lap. Crow feet fanned the corner of Dean’s eyes as he smirked over at Sam.

“Okay, okay!” Charlie exclaimed, clapping her hands with excitement. “Now play, Dean. Castiel said you were the best.”

Dean’s smirked turned dirtier as he regarded Charlie. “My husband says that about a lot of things.”

Sam’s face screwed up in disgust just as a throaty voice exclaimed, “Dean!” The man next to his brother turned cherry red, his blue eyed fixed on Dean.

His brother opened his mouth, his eyes glowing with mischief but the moment Sam saw them flicker to their mom he slammed it shut. A pink hue warmed Dean’s cheeks and in an obvious attempt to act like nothing happened, Dean cleared his throat loudly.

“Alright!” He proclaimed with over-exaggeration. A gurgling sound filled the room in the direction of Eileen on the side of the couch and a tiny hand reached out. Instantly Castiel turned around, his hand stretching toward Jackson. A chubby fist enclosed around his stretched out forefinger and seconds later it was being pulling toward an open, waiting mouth.

“Here, Cas.” Claire said, reaching over Mary to hand her father Jack’s pacifier.

Dean watched with a proud smile as Jackson’s lips wrapped around his pacifier and started sucking on it happily, his fist remained enclosed around his dad’s finger.

“My kid’s taking my spotlight.” Dean grumbled.

“Oh, honey, they’ve been doing that since the day Claire walked into your life.” Mary voiced, her tone softened by age but her blue eyes, youthful as ever, glimmered with joy as she wrapped her arm around her first granddaughter.

Sam moved to take the couch beside Dean, his eyes finding Eileen’s from across the room. A kind smile formed on her lips which Sam returned with a wink.

Claire smirked at Dean, cocky and teasingly. If he hadn’t been Dean and Cas’ lawyer when the two had been fighting to get Claire into their care, he could have sworn, in that never moment, that the smirk playing on the blonde girl’s face looked exactly like Dean’s.

A guitar strummed and Dean closed his eyes, humming as if he didn’t hear Mom at all. “My ears are invincible to hearing insulting things from people who are supposed to love me with all their heart.” He strummed a note once again as to emphasize his point.

“I love you, Uncle Dean!” Melody exclaimed, her soft green eyes gleaming with pride.

“Thanks, Melody. You seemed to be the only one.” Dean looked over to Castiel with a sad pout.

Cas pressed his lips together and offered nothing, igniting a round a giggles from Jo and Claire who fist pumped Leah and then each other. Ellen shook her head and Bobby sighed roughly.

“Just play the song, boy.” Bobby said, his rugged voice filling the entire room with a warmth that only a Bobby could bring.

Sam remembered Bobby as the Uncle who had been there for Mom after Dad’s death, going so far as to taking the guest bedroom with Aunt Ellen to help Mom, Sam and Dean with whatever they’d needed.

A year or so later, Jo had been born and Sam could honestly say family had brought them all together in one way or the other.

Charlie clapped excitedly, shuffling back into the couch, everyone getting comfortable as Dean’s finger plucked at the guitar strings and Sam nodded along with the tune of ‘Simple Man’.

He felt his smile grow as his brother’s deep, country voice started out slowly, “Mama told me, when I was young ‘Come sit beside me, my only son and listen closely to what I say. If you do this, it’ll help you some sunny day, ohh yeah.”

Castiel turned and grinned over to Sam.

Sam remembered the first day Dean had sung this very song one simple and perfect Christmas years ago. He’d been a young, terribly insecure boy, fearful of losing his brother and best friend to his new boyfriend. It had been a different Christmas than the one he’d usually spend with Dean and his Mom, because there was a new face who had, unknowingly, changed everything for Sam.

Because it was Castiel who had introduced Sam to Eileen. The amazing woman who was sitting closest to Dean, as to help feel the vibrations of the guitar as Dean sung. She had been an unexpected change. After losing his college girlfriend in a fire, Sam had been lost with no way out in sight.

The people what had ensured he didn’t die of starvation or sleep deprivation were the people all gathered in this room, smiling and swaying from side to side.

Then… Eileen came into his life with brilliant eyes and a bright smiles. She had been a fellow teacher of Cas, working at a special needs school for deaf kids, who had met Castiel at some local teacher’s convention.

She had come home with Castiel that same day with the promise of a piece Mom’s cherry pie and awesome company. Sam had been there that day, the one day he had randomly decided to visit Mom, and when they’d been introduced, Sam had taken her small delicate hand and felt the warmth of her soft palm seep right through his entire body.

He knew in that very moment that there would be no going back. They agreed to meet up for coffee the next day and had slowly gravitated toward an amazing relationship, filled with uncontainable love and uncontrollable laughter.

Two years later they were married, with Dean and Castiel as their best men and Jo, Charlie and Claire as her bridesmaids.

Soft brown eyes met his and a wink followed.

Sam grinned back, mouthing ‘I love you’ to her, before returning his attention back to Dean just as his brother turned to give Castiel a smile of his own, the crowfeet deepened by the years but still they expressed the joy behind the smile, a smile that never faded but only grew as years went by.

Sam may have started out fearing Castiel and the danger he presented for Sam and Dean’s relationship but now, 20 years later and the happiest he’s ever been, Sam knew as he’d suspected the day he’d made peace the his brother’s boyfriend that Cas’ arrival was a blessing in disguise.

Boy don’t you worry

You’ll find yourself

Follow your heart, And nothing else

Oh you can do this, oh baby, if you try

All that I want for you my son, is to be satisfied

And be a simple kind of man

Be something you love and understand

Yeah, baby, be a simple kind of man

Won’t you do this for me, son, if you can?